Shownotes

Lesley sits down with coach, author, and podcast host Wendy Valentine to explore radical self-transformation in midlife. Wendy shares how to shed limiting identities, align with your true self, and treat “energy” as a constant evolution. You will hear practical steps to envision who you’re becoming, invite her in, and take bold action without waiting for perfect timing.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

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In this episode you will learn about:

• Chiseling away identities that are not you to reveal your authentic self.
• Comfort zones vs. growth: why familiar isn’t the same as aligned.
• Wendy’s midlife pivot from breakdown to purpose-driven rebuilding.
• Her BE IT method: Become, Envision, Invite, Take action.
• Feeling your way through life instead of overthinking every move.

Episode References/Links:

• Wendy Valentine Website – https://wendyvalentine.com
• Wendy Valentine Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/wendy_valentine_
• Free Access to FREEDOM Meditations – https://beitpod.com/freedommeditations
• The Midlife Makeover Show – https://wendyvalentine.com/podcast
• Book: Women Waking Up by Wendy Valentine – https://wendyvalentine.com/womenwakingup
• Ep. 400: Gay Hendricks – https://beitpod.com/gayhendricks
• Stephanie Gass on Cathy Heller’s Podcast – https://beitpod.com/stephaniegass

Transcript

Wendy Valentine 0:00
So if you think about it, you should always have that chisel in your hand in the nicest of ways, but constantly and consciously be chiseling away at the things that are not you. And we, deep down, know what those things are, but sometimes we still cling to those things that we are not, right, because it feels comfortable.

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INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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Lesley Logan 0:59
All right, Be It babe. I’m so obsessed. I’m so obsessed with today’s guest. Like, there’s times I’m like, oh, I love all these people. And then there’s times I’m like, okay, this guest, I want to be friends with. I want to have coffee with. I want to have a weekly date with. When I enter her, I’d say, like, she is like, this beam of light. And I’m telling you, she’s a beam of light, and she really, really, really creates this amazing space for you to step up into the woman that you are wanting to be it till you see it. So Wendy Valentine’s, our guest, super, super fun. She’s the host of the Midlife Makeover Show, and I was on her show. So if you want to go check out that show to get to know her more. And you know, that’s a good episode to start with, because obviously you trust me, so there’s that. And then you can, like, go through all of her catalog. She’s just so amazing. So I’m gonna let us get into this episode so you can get all the good stuff coming from Wendy Valentine.

Lesley Logan 1:45
All right, Be It babe, today’s guest and I are already having too much fun. She’s only in Sedona right now, so she’s not too far off, but I feel like we should be hanging out in real life. Wendy Valentine, you’re just, tell everyone why you’re just such the magical like beam of light that we all want to be around and be your best friend.

Wendy Valentine 2:16
How much time do we have?

Lesley Logan 2:21
I mean at least 30 minutes of you telling us why you’re so amazing.

Wendy Valentine 2:27
There is one word that I hear all the time. It’s a word that’s used to describe me the most. No, it’s not crazy. I do get that sometimes, but it’s energy, energy, energy, energy. And I was thinking about this this morning, because, as we know, like, energy cannot be created or destroyed. Yeah, it’s only transformed into something else, right? You had an ice cube on the pan back there in the RV, and then it melts into water, and then eventually it goes into steam. And I think that’s like, I feel like, for myself right now in my life, like I am becoming that steam and moving into the universe. That sounds all so voodoo, but it’s like that constant evolving, which I think is so magnificent, and just moving into the energy of it all.

Lesley Logan 3:18
Yeah, I think that’s so cool. So how did you become someone who is, like, known for energy? Like, how did this like, have like, were you born this way? Was this your job when you were in your 20s? Did this just happen?

Wendy Valentine 3:30
Well, you know, I mean, good question. I mean, as you know, we’re all energy, but I think it’s when I really started to own, to own it, to own who I am and to create who I wanted to be, not to family and friends and society and all that other crap wanted me to be. It’s when I finally stepped into my true self and my true calling. And I think you know what? Like that whole like, be your authentic self, be your true self, that’s all like being thrown around a lot these days. We’re like, what does that mean? What does it mean, really?

Lesley Logan 4:04
I know, but tell me how, but tell me how. Because I was born like I was raised in like, follow these instructions. Do this work. If you do all these things, then everything works out, which is bullshit and so and then people go and then be your authentic self. And I’m like, okay, but how? Because I don’t think I’ve ever been, I was never taught to be authentic. I was taught to follow the rules.

Wendy Valentine 4:23
Yeah, you know what though? It’s more about it’s not learning who you are to become. It’s learning who you are not. And I love the analogy of Michelangelo and the beautiful statue of David. Let’s all picture him for a moment. Oh yes. But when they when they asked Michelangelo, how did you carve the statue of David? He’s like, oh, that was easy. I just carved away everything that was not him. So if you think about it, you should always have that chisel in your hand in the nicest of ways, but constantly and consciously be chiseling away the things that are not you. And we, deep down, know what those things are, but sometimes we still cling to those things that we are not, right, because it feels comfortable. Even though it’s uncomfortable, it’s comfortable, it’s like, but this is who I am. This is my identity, yeah.

Lesley Logan 5:14
Well, and I think, like, I think a lot of people, you said it’s my identity, it’s their identity, to be always going through drama, to be always like, to always have a shit day at work. Like, can you believe it? Can you believe this happened? Like those, it’s that’s some people’s identity. And, like, I get so annoyed with myself when I, like, hear myself repeating the same negative, bad thing that happened, and I’m like, is this becoming something that has, like, a growth on my shoulder, or like, like, is this becoming part of the of like, of the not the costume, but like, what is Lesley? Because it’s like, I don’t want to hear this anymore, so I definitely don’t want to stick around. So I love the idea of a, I go a visual, physical chisel going no, no, no.

Wendy Valentine 5:58
Part of you know that is not you. There’s that quote from Marianne Williamson, it is my fave, and it’s got me through the toughest of times, or gotten me to where I’m at now. And she says, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us, because you think about it, if you were to step fully into your light, what does that mean? Like what does that look like? Right? Because that would require, possibly, just like myself, it would require maybe a divorce, maybe quitting a job you hate, maybe moving, maybe buying an RV like I did. Maybe, I mean, it’s going to require you to actually move and do some shit in your life if you truly stepped into your light, but, or you could just stay right there in the dark because it’s more comfortable, because it’s predictable. The darkness is predictable, the the uncomfortable comfort zone is predictable, predictable, right? Yeah.

Lesley Logan 7:03
Yeah, I mean, I don’t know who said it, but, like, there is, like, that story of, like, why does a dog, like, not move off of sitting on that rock? It’s like, well, the rock isn’t uncomfortable enough, you know, and so a lot of people wait to, wait so long, and so they’re so uncomfortable, and then they shed it all, and then they step into this light. And that, it can be scary. Like we interviewed Gay Hendricks on this podcast, and he is the, I know, I fucking love him, he’s such a sweet man. He’s just, he, like, every time I go to Cambodia, he’s like, did you get some milk fruit? Like, he’s just, he’s like, it’s the best fruit. And he is right. It is the best fruit. And it’s only available half of the time, so I’m never there, but I got to have it. But at any rate, he talks about your big leap is, like, because, like, when you are in your comfort zone, you can even, like, he even called like, your your like, zone of genius, and you’re like, okay, well, that’s a good spot to be in. Like, that’s like, amazing, but it’s or zone of excellence, excuse me. Like, of course I would like to be there. Like, that sounds really good, but like, that’s actually still uncomfortable, but like it’s comfortable, like it’s actually not where your light is, that you’re talking about, it’s like, it’s like, there’s another layer, there’s an outer ring, there’s that ring of light around Saturn, and you’re supposed to be there.

Wendy Valentine 7:03
That’s just like, dipping your toe in the water.

Lesley Logan 7:13
Yeah, but then he and he talks about, like, how, well, when you get to that zone of genius, when you get to that outer ring, you get to your light, then there’s, like, a few things that we do to just fuck it all up and bring us back to that comfortable discomfort, you know, like that self-deprivation.

Lesley Logan 7:13
And a comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.

Lesley Logan 8:38
Oh, Wendy Valentine, say it one more time.

Wendy Valentine 8:44
Soak it up. Soak it up. A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. So if you want to grow, I know y’all do, you have got to get out of that damn comfort zone. You know, I want to say though, I was on the treadmill this morning, and I was thinking.

Lesley Logan 8:58
Do you have a treadmill in your RV or do you go the gym?

Wendy Valentine 9:04
No, I’m actually at this nice resort. I mean, RVing has come a long way, y’all, thank God.

Lesley Logan 9:09
I mean, we live in our van like it’s it’s not so bad. Sometimes it’s better than the hotel.

Wendy Valentine 9:12
We got, we got hot tubs, we got swimming pools, we got food trucks. I mean, we don’t mess around over here. But yeah, I was at the gym this morning and I was walking on the treadmill, and I was thinking, I love the name I have since the moment when I met you and I heard about your podcast. I love the name of your podcast. Be It Till You See It. And I got choked, people were probably like, why is that lady over there balling on the treadmill? And you know, right now, I’m reaping the benefits of what I sowed years ago and getting outside of my damn comfort zone. But you know, what’s so cool? I might cry right now. I did not put on waterproof mascara, but I am seeing it in my life, all those seeds I planted years ago, and that amount of time. I watered and watered those damn seeds. It’s like, I’m seeing it. It’s like, it’s so freaking cool when you get to that other side, and yes, you will, is so it is beautiful. It’s much more beautiful. And, and yes, you will grow when you get to the other side of it. If you want, I can take y’all back to my breakdown to breakthrough.

Lesley Logan 10:22
I was just gonna say, I think we need to go back to the seed planting days, or at least, like, the days before the RV, the day before the book, the days before the podcast. Like, what, what? Like, who were you? How did because we love you now. But like, we loved you then. But like, what? What was the reason for all what was the reason for all this, you know, seed reaping?

Wendy Valentine 10:43
And we all love a good breakdown and a breakthrough story.

Lesley Logan 10:46
Yeah, we do.

Wendy Valentine 10:47
But make sure everyone grab your violin, (inaudible) sad song right now. So let’s see. For about 45 years old, here I was. I was living in Virginia, going through a divorce, empty nest. I had chronic illness, black mold toxicity, Lyme disease. We’ll toss in a little menopause, just, for fun.

Lesley Logan 11:10
Yeah. I mean, for sure, probably, yeah.

Wendy Valentine 11:13
Yeah, yeah. I was at least 150 grand in debt, unemployed. Let’s see what else. Oh, within a six week period, I had to watch my dog die, my cat die, and my brother die. And then from all of that, I started experiencing panic attacks, anxiety, and needless to say, I went into a massive, deep, dark, awful depression. So here I was, 45 years old, and I was like, shit, now what? And, I mean, I kept thinking, I was like, I only turned 50. That’s like, like, that, that halfway mark, if you’re that lucky that it’s an halfway mark, right? And I don’t know if anything could have gotten worse for me in that moment. And let’s, let’s just all imagine the scene. I literally was laying on my bathroom floor, like laying there, bawling my eyes out, feeling sorry for myself, I’ll admit, and I was thinking, What the hell am I going to do? And all of a sudden, like, and it was part of me like this, this vision popped in my head, and it was, it was a little bit of an escape, I’ll admit, but it was a beautiful escape. And I was like, wouldn’t be nice to just get the fuck out of here? You know, like, I just want to escape my my life that I was in. And I was like, I want to drive an RV across the country. And then I’m like, man. And then, of course, that nagging voice in my head was like, yeah, you’re broke, you don’t have a job. How that? How are you going to do that? And but then I was like, you know, I just want to sit here and think about this dream. It was the only thing that gave me hope. And so I thought, you know what? What the hell like my life. I was already down here. The only way was going up, right? I was like, let’s just go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? I’m gonna fucking go for it. So I got up and I started applying for jobs all the way across the country, like I was, I was so desperate. I was like, I’ll take anything. Okay, I’ll sell popsicles in Mexico. I don’t care, whatever. So then I get a job offer a week later, selling, you’ll probably, you’re probably familiar with his name, Pulte, Pulte Del Webb, I got a job offer with Pulte to sell new construction homes in Chicago. And I was like, Chicago. Never been there. I didn’t know how to sell homes, but what the hell. I pack off the U-Haul. I drive from Virginia to Chicago. I start my job on Monday. About a year later, I went from making $0 to a half a million dollars. Obviously, paid off all my debt, bought this RV that I’m sitting in right now. Now, mind you, okay, I love Pulte, and it was a great, beautiful company. But I am not a corporate girl. I am not. Like, that’s a chisel where I was like, girl listen here, you’re not you, you know. And I will have to say, that’s a lesson in itself, right there. Don’t be afraid to try something. That does not mean if you try something, you can’t pivot, okay?

Lesley Logan 14:33
Right and also, like, can I just, like, say, like, I mean, clearly, Pulte was, like, quite the bridge to show you what you’re capable of, and it get was a one, the fact that in one year, you can make that much money, going from zero to that much money, and not become someone who doesn’t like, take your dreams the next level. You actually like, used it to launch yourself. I think it’s like, I think it’s so cool.

Wendy Valentine 14:57
Yes and how easy would it have been for me to stay there.

Lesley Logan 15:00
Oh, yeah and so.

Wendy Valentine 15:01
Everyone was like, why are you gonna leave this job that you’re you’re killing it, killing it. I was like, yeah, but this is not for me. The chisel.

Lesley Logan 15:09
Well and also, yeah, the chisel, I love that. And also, like, we had a lot of people that are like, I want to do this thing. I’m just gonna go all in. And I’m like, honey, if you can’t pay for your bills, you can’t pay your food, you are going to put pressure on this dream you have. Go get a job at Starbucks, make sure your bills are paid, have health insurance, all the things, and then use every other minute to make this thing happen. So I actually think it’s really cool that not only you did it in a year, but that you, at a year, were able to, like, evaluate and go, I gotta chisel this off, because this isn’t me, and not listen to the family who’s like, you should just stay and make all that money.

Wendy Valentine 15:46
Yes and remind yourself, if you are in a job you don’t love, you’re you’re in a relationship you don’t love, you’re living in a place you don’t love, remind yourself this is temporary. Everything is temporary, right? I mean, all in all, everything is temporary. Just remind yourself like this is just for now. This is just for now. Like, every day when I’d be, like, driving in the snow in Chicago, heading to this job to, like, talk about granite countertops. I was like, It’s okay. I can do this. I cant do this. But then, yeah, I was like, all right, well, what am I going to do? I don’t want to work for corporate. I and I was like, you know, I’ve always, I want to be a writer. I always knew I would become a writer. I was like, I want to be a writer. How am I? How am I going to become a writer? And I always wanted to have my own show. So I was like, how am I going to do this? And I had to be able to work remotely. Obviously, because traveling in an RV, I had to be able to work remotely, right? So I was listening to Cathy Heller’s podcast and she was interviewing Stephanie Gass. And something, you know, it’s like, if you get that funny feeling in your tummy, that gut instinct of like, I need to move on this. I don’t know what it is, just do not question it. Just go for it. I hired Stephanie Gass, and within 30 minutes, I knew exactly what my niche was going to be and what my podcast was going to be called. And I was like, that’s it. I had I had it. I was like, I’m going to talk about midlife. I’m going to talk about not even just midlife, but transforming your life. Because I did it, like, I was the guinea pig, right? I’m like, I did, I know how to do it. So I kept my day job, and then at night, I started working on my dream business. I started working on the website and then the photography and the the podcast, all, all the stuff, you know, right? Started doing my research and just little by little, and then eventually, the RV, finally, I ordered it like eight months before, finally arrived and it was go time to quit my job and take off into the Sedona sunset.

Lesley Logan 17:51
Okay but also, like, I think it’s so, I wanted to say, like, I think sometimes we, like, underestimate what we can do in a short period of time, because you just celebrated 50. Am I correct?

Wendy Valentine 18:01
Yeah, yeah. So it took me, well, actually, I’m 52. It took me from the moment, like when I moved to Chicago, to taking off in the RV, it took me approximately two and a half years, and then I’ve been on the road for three so, yes, it takes time. And is it easy? Hell no. Is it worth it? Hell yes.

Lesley Logan 18:23
Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, there’s, you know, like, I think things happen faster than we think, and some things are a little slower than we expected. Like, the time, we never get the timeline exactly right. But also, like, it would have been so like, could you imagine on the bathroom floor being like, well, it’s gonna take a long time. I don’t know. Like, I bet, you know what I mean, I think we just take, we talk ourselves out of things so and we also think, well, I’m at this age. I should be already. Like, I should be doing this program. I should have this already. I mean, like, I kind of think it’s really cool that you were the guinea pig and you can actually, like, guide so many women who, for sure, are, I said, someone on the podcast, she’s like, I’m a bird launcher. I’m not an empty nester. Like, I want I like, I launched some birds. And she’s, you know, but you can take the.

Wendy Valentine 18:24
That’s what I did. I was like, shoo, shoo. Get out.

Lesley Logan 19:05
Yeah, get out of the nest. It’s mine now. But like, I think that there’s a ton of people who work, not given the opportunity or encouraged when they were moms and wives and partners to be selfish and do their thing like I do believe that there’s a ton of women who did and so, so if you’re listening, yay for you, but I think a lot of people were not, and they had to wait, and then they waited, and then they’re like, well, I don’t even know who I am, and everyone says to be authentic. And so I feel like you asked to be you to help people so you’re right and then you have this amazing podcast, which, I got to be honest, is amazing. And it’s like, but it’s mid it’s called Midlife Makeover. Correct?

Wendy Valentine 19:51
Yep, The Midlife Makeover Show.

Lesley Logan 19:53
Yes. Okay, so let’s talk about like, do you feel like you do what you do? Do you feel like you’ll ever run out of topics to talk about when it comes to midlife? Like, what are you and then, and then also turn it into a book. So let’s go into, like, how you’ve, like, really made this whole thing happen.

Wendy Valentine 20:10
You know, what I love about my niche is that there’s so much going on in midlife. I mean, like, if I had to talk about one topic every day, oh, my God, I could not stand it. I mean, yesterday I interviewed a lady where, like, it was about grief. She lost her daughter. Daughter was 17 years old when she died. The day before, I got to talk about hormones and menopause, and then the day before that, I got to talk about divorce, like there’s so, because there is so much going on. And I love, I love being the catalyst to help other people make their dreams come true. I love that I can provide that hope, whether it’s with me or with a guest, or whether it’s just simply, I mean, right, the best way we can teach others is by example. Like I don’t, I don’t fluff anything like you, what you see is what you get. Like, I didn’t just say I did it or say that I’m gonna do it. Like, here you go, you know. And you know, I, what was I going to tell you? Oh, I did create the acronym for you. I have four little lessons to teach you today.

Lesley Logan 21:16
Do you want to teach us now or do you want to put in the Be It Action Items?

Wendy Valentine 21:20
I’m gonna teach it to you really quick.

Lesley Logan 21:21
Okay, let’s do it.

Wendy Valentine 21:22
It’s, it’s the Be It, right? And this is what I just told you, that story, these are four little guide posts that you can follow so that you, too, can actually, no matter if it’s a little tweak in your life or a big tweak, a big change, you can make it happen. So the B in Be It is become your own BFF like you have got to be so nice to yourself, and you have got to listen to that ticker tape of thoughts running across in your mind. And you’ve got to stop that ticker tape of thoughts and replace it with some really good, friendly thoughts. Because this right here, I’m pointing to my head with my large head of hair, this will either be your best friend or your worst critic, and you are the one that decides, not Instagram, not your mom, not your dad, not your partner, not your kids, it’s you like that is the one thing that you have, not one, but one of the many things you have control over. And actually starting there, it’s a ripple effect of everything else in your life. If you can get that under control, and yes, you can, you change your thoughts, you change your beliefs. We’ve all heard it before, but do we really apply it and really try it? So, yes, become your own BFF, just love the shit out of yourself. The E is envision. You’ve got to envision who you want to become, not the what it’s great to, to, like, dream about things and RVs and (inaudible) right, but who do you want to become? Journal about it. Think about it. Take a walk and just imagine the woman that you would want to become and without limitation, right? The I is invite her in. You have got to literally, every single day, and this is exactly what I did, because my Aunt Annie said to me, when I was like in the down, down in the dumps, in depression, and I’m sitting on the couch when she goes, darling, you have always wanted to be an actress, so why don’t you just start acting like the woman you want to become? And I was like, oh, I can do that. And I thought about that, right? Like we’re all we’re all brainwashed. We’re all brainwashed into whoever we are, but we can brainwash ourselves into becoming whoever the hell we want to be.

Lesley Logan 23:39
Yes, yes.

Wendy Valentine 23:41
Yep. So I did. I was like, you know what? How, like you, imagine a drone flying over your head and observing you all day long. How is this woman, this powerful, amazing, gorgeous woman? How does she walk? How does she walk into a room? How does she talk? How does she eat? How does she sleep? How does she, what did she do when she first gets out of bed? Like, is she like, oh my god, I think I’m so grateful I’m alive. Thank you. Thank you. Observe her like and and be her like, literally when you put your shoes on, you put your slippers on or whatever, imagine that those are her shoes and that, and literally act like her, even if someone else is like, why she acting so funny? Just keep doing it.

Wendy Valentine 24:26
Yeah, no. I mean, let them, let them wonder why you’re acting so funny.

Wendy Valentine 24:27
Yes, yes, exactly.

Lesley Logan 24:28
They’ll just wonder. They get to wonder. And if you want to go talk about it to people like, I thank God for my time in L.A., where I learned, like, all publicity is good. Like, there’s no such thing as bad, you know. Let them talk on how weird you are.

Wendy Valentine 24:45
(inaudible) Yeah. Finally, T is take action. I think you even say that in your intro about taking action, right? You have to, like, how do you get courage? By taking action. Like if you, if you had a jar, an empty jar, and I have an empty jar, how do you fill up your jar of courage? And how do I fill up mine? We each have to do that on our own. I cannot hand courage. It would be great, right? If like, here, here you go, Lesley, let me give you some courage. You have to do that your own. And you do that by taking action, even if you fall on your face, even if you fall on your face. I didn’t know how to even drive an RV. I was like, oh my god. So you figure shit out, right? Like, leap of the net will appear. Like, leap you will figure this stuff out. And that’s how you become so resilient and strong. And then it’s the tiniest of things I don’t know about you, it’s like the tiniest of little accomplishments. You’re like, that’s right. I did that. Like, that’s right. I just actually figured out how to dump the dumper on the survey (inaudible) things. I’m like, I did that. (inaudible) So don’t forget to celebrate yourself.

Lesley Logan 25:53
I believe, all of a sudden, I think like, that is where confidence comes in. Like, people think like confidence comes like, you have to wait for you, once you’re confident, then you can do the thing. It’s like, no, actually, you get confident by doing the thing. Like, I remember we bought our van, which is not even as big as an RV, we don’t need a special license for it. It actually fits in parking spaces. I mean, it’s the it’s the longest and the tallest of the vehicles that you don’t need another license for. And the first time we took it on we took we drove it. I had no problems driving out of the gas station. I had no problems. Like, once we were like, pointing the right direction, like, I’m like, I got this. But one time we were needing to go, and Brad was asleep, and I’m like, I have to hit reverse. There’s no rear view mirror. Like, I gotta do this with this tall vehicle. I’m super long. I got a white like, I and it has a camera. It’s like, just follow the camera. I’m like, I can’t even it’s like, this big, just the camera? What, I’m like, I’m like, I’m like, I hope it beeps. If someone’s wrong, I like, what if there’s a pole, you know, like one of the, so I like, literally, get out of the car, got out of the car and I do a walk around. I’m like, okay, there’s no poles. So the worst thing that happens is that someone or something drives behind me while I’m doing this, and it’s supposed to beep, and I’m gonna trust that, and now I come back anytime I want, like, but you I had to, I could not, Brad’s telling me you can do this. Like you used to drive jeeps, like, you know what you’re doing. Like, he’s like, you can none of that confidence and courage being told at me helped me get the confidence, like actually reversing the car and doing it myself.

Wendy Valentine 27:32
And sometimes it’s the tiniest of things that just gives you a little boost. It’s a little reminder that, yes, you can do this and keep going and keep going. Yeah, yeah.

Lesley Logan 27:41
Okay, you published a book. Now, can we talk about it? I mean, it says, Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play. Women waking up. Also, I love the colors. It’s like every beautiful shade of pink lipstick, like, yes, yes, yes.

Wendy Valentine 28:00
I know, isn’t she? It’s my little baby. This is actually, like, this is the advanced copy. So it’s not even a real copy. But yes, I know. It just went into preorder this week.

Lesley Logan 28:10
When is it publishing for reals?

Wendy Valentine 28:12
Um, it publishes, it comes out on 9-9.

Lesley Logan 28:15
Okay.

Wendy Valentine 28:16
9-9 is the time, but and you know what? Before I got into writing books and things like that, I didn’t know, I was like, why is everyone why don’t they do the preorder? Why? Because I don’t get the book. I’ll give you $500 worth of reasons (inaudible). Literally, right now, pre-order the book. Because here’s the thing, you could if you wanted to, you can literally start making changes today, just with the bonuses that you get with the book. Let me tell you what the bonuses are.

Lesley Logan 28:44
Tell us, tell us because this is going to come out before 9-9 so you all can take advantage of this.

Wendy Valentine 28:48
Oh yeah. You get the Women Waking Up Playbook. It’s like 100 plus pages. You can download them. They are cute, colorful and cute and wonderful. You get the Freedom At Midlife Meditations that go along with the book, just to elevate your mind and help you become your own best friend, right? You get the Map At Your Midlife Dream Workshop, your customizable digital vision board. Thank you very much. I love that thing. Love it. I love it. Love it. What else? A $200 voucher to my Freedom At Midlife Program, and my fave, the Women Waking Up Spotify playlist. Yeah, so that’s it. You literally get all of that.

Lesley Logan 29:30
Before I even read the book. I can change my life before. And then when I read it, I mean, like, reminding me all these amazing other things.

Wendy Valentine 29:37
Yeah, I know. And by the time the book arrives, then you’ll get to read the rest of the story and then be like, Yeah, I already did that. Check, check, check.

Lesley Logan 29:44
Yeah. So you’re just putting all these little drops of confidence into your bucket as you read it, and then you get more, oh, I love this. Wendy, we need more time with you. I need, we need to hang out. I’m not, I’m not kidding. Like, is your RV heading my way before it’s too hot? Like, I would just like to know.

Wendy Valentine 30:01
You know what? I was gonna go to Nevada, because I’m starting this book tour now, but now I’m going up towards Denver. (inaudible) Maybe when I come back.

Lesley Logan 30:07
On the way back, on your way back, you can do it. There’s a great book shop called Writer’s Block. There’s some really cute bookstores in Vegas that are, like, great for doing some sort of tour of some kind, I agree, yes. Or you can go to one of my friends’ amazing shops, and they’ll, they’ll host you. So just let me know, because I’ll help make it happen. Because there’s women here who need you. Oh, my God, we have to take a brief break, and then we’ll get all your links and how we can, like, totally like, stalk you and like, the kids call you, stan you, you know, like stalker fan in one, one moment.

Lesley Logan 30:34
All right, Wendy Valentine, favorite place to hang out on the internet, where’s the links to pre-order the book, like, where, where’s give us everything.

Wendy Valentine 30:53
Do all the things. Okay. Instagram, it’s got to be my fav. And I do share some cool, fun stuff, right?

Lesley Logan 30:57
You do. I love watching your life. You carry a dog with in a bag.

Wendy Valentine 30:58
I have some valuable content, with fun stuff too. So yes, Wendy Valentine on Instagram, and probably the best hub is wendyvalentine.com and from there, I know a lot of people have freebies, but my freebies really are awesome.

Lesley Logan 31:16
Yeah there’s 100 page freebie. I’m just gonna tell you right now, you, above and beyond, lady.

Wendy Valentine 31:22
Yeah, yeah. So click, there’s a freebies tab. You can even take a superhero quiz on there. That’s my fav. There’s a book tab on there that is where you can get all of your bonuses when you pre-order the book. And the book is everywhere, Women Waking Up, it’s Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Target. It’s everywhere. And what else? Yeah, that’s, that’s it. And then, The Midlife Makeover Show, that’s everywhere, where you listen to podcasts, even on YouTube, you can even watch the, you know, the playback of of me interviewing people in an RV.

Lesley Logan 31:52
Yeah, yeah. You can listen. You can also watch the Be It Pod, you guys, we’re on YouTube as well. You know, it’s, I know, it’s this fun thing. You do this thing for audio, and then people want the visual. So you we gotta do it all.

Wendy Valentine 32:01
Give them the visual. Give them the visual.

Lesley Logan 32:01
Okay, I love your acronym. So if you want that to be your Be It Action Item, we can replay that, that is totally fine. But if there’s anything else we have to give these women that helps them ditch perfection, take that messy action, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps should they take, what else?

Wendy Valentine 32:23
I would have to say, this is, I’m adopting this from Deepak Chopra, because I used to go to a lot of his retreats. And there was one thing he said to me, it’s in his cute little accent, and he goes, you have to feel your way through life. I was like, what does that mean? I was like, feel my way through life, and we’re so used to thinking everything through and probably overthinking, right? But ask yourself, no matter what it is that you’re doing or thinking about doing, how does it feel to you? And most importantly, how does it feel to this new person, this new woman that you are creating in your life. How will it feel? Does that align with her? Does she like that? Does she not like it? And just enjoy. I mean, this, you get this tiny little we’re like little blip of time on eternity in eternity, right? Like, just live it up in this little space and print in these parentheses. Just live it up and enjoy and stop overthinking. Just feel your way through life.

Lesley Logan 33:25
I love that. And I actually really love him. He, I listened to him, remember, Oprah would actually release like, interviews on her like, podcast channel? And I listened to him talk about this time when he would go be a monk, right? Like his like, you know, go for like, I don’t know, 30 days or something like that. And he the monk, his like, monk guide, was like, Oh, how was it walking through the jungle? And he’s like, well, it hurt my feet. You know, it hurt my feet. And he and the guy goes, oh, well, when your foot is not on the ground, does it hurt? And he goes, No, I don’t think so. He’s like, well, then think about the other foot, right? Anyways, my husband is gonna love it. I have remembered that. Out of everything he said, I have remembered that so much because whenever my husband’s like, oh, my knee hurts, I’m like, maybe you should think about your other knee. And I’m sure he’s like.

Wendy Valentine 33:26
Yeah or yeah, my arm hurts when I move it, like this, well stop moving it.

Lesley Logan 33:35
What is your other arm, like, he like, heard something and I like, hit the other arm, and he’s like, what are you do doing? I’m like, distracting you. It’s from Dee it’s from Deepak, fill the other one.

Wendy Valentine 34:29
Refocusing, refocusing. You know?

Lesley Logan 34:31
But I do agree. I think, like, you know, I know, I know the listeners, and I one of the reasons I want to have you on the show after I met you, is like, I know the women here will love listening to you, because we all came from this like time of overdoing overthinking. Have to map it all out. Has to has to feel like the right time, but not feel because we’re not listening to our feelings, we’re thinking our feelings and and so thank you for that. Be it actually, because I think we. Actually have to get into the feeling more, the actual feeling more, not the brain thinking feeling more.

Wendy Valentine 35:04
Yeah, exactly. And especially since RVing, like, I’m on the no plan, plan like I don’t. I used to plan everything in detail, and if I did not have that plan in place, I would not make a move. Now I’m like, I mean, 90 days is probably as much as I can plan, even though I like to dream and envision and things like that. Planning out too much does not leave room for miracles and spontaneity and the fun stuff. So don’t forget to have fun and just enjoy, yeah.

Lesley Logan 35:31
Yeah. Uh, I adore you. We’ll have to run in, we’ll run into each other someday, because I also love to get to we’re gonna, we’re gonna head down on our Summer Tour into Arizona, so maybe if you’re still there, you know it’s it’s a little more than 90 days. So I’ll ask you when it’s closer, but you know, Wendy, thank you so much. Thank you for being you. Y’all go listen to her podcast. Go pre-order her book. Let us know. Tag Wendy. Tag the Be It Pod. Let us know what your favorite takeaway was. And by the way, I can’t think of another episode you could send to like any woman over 40 right now that she will love. So do that, support the pod and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

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Lesley Logan
That’s all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

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Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @be_it_pod.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.