Shownotes

In this episode, Lesley Logan sits down with joy guide June Suepunpuck to explore why high achievers can accomplish their goals and still feel unfulfilled. June breaks down destination addiction—the belief that happiness lives in future milestones—and explains why joy cannot be accessed without first acknowledging grief. They discuss career versus calling, perfectionist checklists, and how radical honesty helps people reconnect with joy in their bodies.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

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In this episode you will learn about:

• Why high achievers must grieve dreams that no longer align.
• Destination addiction and the belief happiness lives in future milestones.
• How checklist living disconnects identity, body, and fulfillment.
• The difference between pursuing a career versus answering a calling.
• Why joy cannot be bypassed through toxic positivity or step-by-step formulas.

Episode References/Links:

• How To Find Joy Podcast – https://howtofindjoy.buzzsprout.com
• June Suepunpuck’s Website – https://www.joyguidejune.com
• June Suepunpuck’s Substack – https://joyguidejune.substack.com/about
• June Suepunpuck’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/joyguidejune
• June Suepunpuck’s YouTube Channel – https://beitpod.com/joyguidejune

Transcript

June Suepunpuck 0:00
People, when they hear, I’m a joy guide, they’re like, oh, you’re going to toxic positivity your way into success or this other thing, it’s like, no, no, no, we cannot bypass, that is the problem. Like, we have to actually address the grief. And the way that you can go about doing that is recognizing, oh, I have this checklist. It’s not aligned anymore, and what is the honest truth about who I am?

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INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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Lesley Logan 1:10
You guys, get ready. This is one of the most fun conversations I’ve had. I didn’t know this girl before I hit record. She’s a dear, a friend of someone I totally love and trust, and so I was like, Yes, I have to talk to June the joy guide. We’ve talked so much on this pod about like an ability to feel joy, but we actually not talked about like feeling joy. And this is such a freeing conversation. We went a lot of different ways. So my perfectionist and overachievers, this is for you. This is for you, and I’m just gonna let you. I’m just gonna get into it. So here’s June Suepunpuck.

Lesley Logan 1:43
All right, Be It babe, this is going to be a great conversation. I can already tell. This, our guest today is a dear friend of our, one of our favorite guests, Hilary Hartling, we’ve had on the pod multiple times, and while we were getting ready to hit record. June Suepunpuck and I have all had a ton of fun with tech and talking about the world and why we love California and L.A., so I can’t even wait to dive into joy because, June, you’re a joy guide, aren’t you?

June Suepunpuck 2:08
I am, I am. And I know, it’s gonna be a fun one already.

Lesley Logan 2:13
Okay. So I we all want to know, like, how does one become a joy guide? Because I’m sure, I’m sure parents and friends and family like really, you can make a living being a joy guide. But I also know from doing this podcast for several years, how many people have the hardest time living life and joy, or even experiencing joy, or receiving joy, or just the feeling of joy. We don’t like it. We like repel it. So can you give us a little history of your journey how you got here?

June Suepunpuck 2:42
I, yes, absolutely. So I’m going to start with what is a joy guide, because I think a lot of people get confused about what that is, and I made that up, so don’t it’s a totally made up thing, but I would like to describe it in a way that I saw something on the news that would actually give context to what I actually do. And so I don’t know if you know anything about golf?

Lesley Logan 3:05
Not a thing.

June Suepunpuck 3:07
Neither did I, honestly, I had to call my husband to be like, how do you pronounce this guy’s name? So apparently, Scotty Scheffler, he is a pro golfer that recently became number one top in the world, in his in his field, right and at the aftermath of winning, he was at the press conference, and he said something that astonished the crowd. I mean, I looked up on YouTube what that speech was, because when I heard it, I was like, damn, who is this person? I really feel like a lot of people feel this way. And they were really baffled, in the golf world, in sports world, really, that someone would would be so candor and candid to admit this. But he goes, after winning, he said, what’s the point? This is not fulfilling, not, it’s fulfilling from a sense of like accomplishment, but not from the deepest places of your heart. And he was saying that, like a lot of people want to achieve number one, but then when they do, it’s so fleeting, and they come back to the question, what is the point? And if you’re going through that thing that what’s the point question in your life, that’s basically what I do, I help people who are going through questioning, like an existential crisis, spiritual awakening, you know, reinvention of self, whatever you want to call it. And I help high achievers, specifically, through the process of like grieving a dream or a life they were chasing, and actually help them find joy and fulfillment now.

Lesley Logan 4:43
I feel that on such a soul level, because I’m a firstborn daughter and first granddaughter, so just lay it all on the perfection pressure, all of it right, and the way I got seen and loved was the straight A’s. Yes, and also being a top athlete, and also being in theater, and then having a job, and, like, right? So like, June, you’re looking at a girl who took promotions she didn’t even want because she didn’t have to say no. And you’re supposed to, like, just keep going, right? Yes, and, and then also, like, having people go, Oh my God. Like, you’re so, like, all these things, and you’re just like, like, I feel his what the point on, like, a deep level? Because, right, I do. And so luckily, you know, I had my existential crisis a little bit younger, and like, was able to do some deep searching of like, oh, I’m an overachiever versus a high achiever. And I have been so focused on achieving. I haven’t actually asked myself if I feel good in doing these things and like enjoying them. I haven’t even enjoyed the process. I didn’t even know the process I went on to get here. I just like, You could have told me I woke up here like, that’s how I so and I know the people we live who was drawn to this podcast, they are all like, nodding their heads, going like, and one of the things that I have found, and just like working with people, is they’ll get to the thing that they wanted, and they’re not happy. They’re not even whelmed and and, and that leaves them feeling like they were sold a lie, like we’ve been told, if I get here, you do all the work, Nirvana. Everything is amazing. And we can, we can see from all the people who’ve gotten rich and blown it up and all these different people, that is actually not the point. But we keep telling people, it’s the journey, it’s not the destination. But no one listens to that.

June Suepunpuck 6:33
No. And that’s the thing is, like, I everything that you just said is exactly my work. It’s like, I talk about how we’ve been sold a lie, or we live lies in order to feel good, and then we realize, when we wake up to the fact that pretending isn’t working anymore, that all of a sudden it’s like, whoa. I am not happy. I’ve checklisted my entire existence, and once all the check boxes are done, then what? What’s the point? Right? Like there, you thought, oh, my God, I’m going to be fulfilled now. And to your point about being first, I am first generation Thai. And so for me, it was a lot of pressure to excel and succeed, right? Yeah. And my parents, you know, they worked so hard for me to live out my dreams, right? But then, as I’m pursuing my dreams, I’m like these, like, I don’t even think these are my dreams hold up, and you realize, and it just becomes so sad, because you were addicted to the chase. And there’s this thing by Dr. Robert Holden. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him, but he talks about destination addiction. And basically, I help people with their destination addiction, which is the belief that happiness lives in the future, like the next job when you like, lose the weight, like it’s just the when, the next when. And so we’re chasing this final destination, thinking, when we finally do this, when I retire, when I lose the weight, when I get the money, I will finally be happy. And then we realize, oh shoot, and that’s what you mean by, like, enjoy the journey, not the destination. Is the legit? Is destination addiction. That’s the props.

Lesley Logan 8:19
Oh my God. Okay, so, like, literally, the podcast is called, Be It Till You See It, so that you don’t wait until you’ve destined, like, hit the destination. Like, you’re acting like the person who is at the destination right now. So you can enjoy the process. And as much, I mean, we’re by the time this comes out, you might be in the episode six hundreds. Like, this is how many episodes we have. And I find that, like, this is the first time someone has actually ever said destination addiction and articulated the idea of, like, grieving. So there’s two ways we can go with this, and it will go whatever you want, but like, okay, great, I just realized I’m addicted to the destination, and I’ve checklisted my life to everything I’ve done, but my entire day is already planned out. I gotta do it again. Like, I’ve got it. I got a checklist to go through. Like, you know what I mean? Like, how?

June Suepunpuck 9:10
Of course, of course, right? But that’s like, the issue, right? That I feel like a lot of us have, and I jokingly tell my clients, and they know this now that although I call myself a joy guide, I’m really a grief guide too. And a huge part of shedding and transformation is really facing your biggest fears of where you’re lying to yourself, and you know, really being honest and truthful about what it is that you want out of life, because it’s just so hard when you have these checklists and you wake up to that moment to not feel the grief. And I think people, when they hear I’m a joy guide, they’re like, oh, you’re going to toxic positivity your way into success or this other thing, it’s like, no, no, no, we cannot bypass that is the problem. Like we have to actually address the grief, and the way that you can go about doing that is recognizing, oh, I have this checklist. It’s not aligned anymore, and what is, what is the honest truth about who I am, and as a high achiever, myself still, and like the people that I work with, it’s been very hard to let go of those dreams and those check boxes and the safety and security, right? The false sense of security that, oh, I am certain about what I want to do and how I want to live, and this is the equation and formula for happiness. Oh, wait, it’s not? Now what? And I think the now what part is where a lot of people either go and avoid and they’re just like, no, no, I’m going to distract. I’m going to just chase more and then stay in the spiral, or they wake up truly, and then they blow up their lives. And I feel like there’s a happy in between. I chose the blow up my life, you know?

Lesley Logan 10:59
Yeah, I did that.

June Suepunpuck 11:01
Right?

Lesley Logan 11:03
With a big blow up here, I did it.

June Suepunpuck 11:04
Yeah, exactly. I like, I chose team blow up your life, and I would not recommend it. But that’s also the reason why I was like, oh, I did it alone. I wish I had somebody. And that’s why I find my work so fulfilling now, because I’m like, oh, my God, you don’t have to do this alone. If you are asking, what’s the point? You don’t have to do it in your own little isolated bubble, because your life will change once you start enacting choices that are actually true to you.

Lesley Logan 11:33
Yeah, no, I definitely did the life blow up thing and alone. Then a therapist who was like, gave me some, like, tools to guide me, but I was like, therapy, like, I was like, okay, it’s not the same. It’s not the same way you’re describing. It took me, I mean, we got, we got where we were going, but I took the long, this long, long, not to say, scenic route, to get there, definitely a homeless route. But, you know, it’s okay. It’s okay. But I do want to say, like, to clarify, because I actually don’t think that being someone who has desires to achieve things like being a high achiever, I don’t think is actually a problem. I think it’s the way we go about serving that desire that could be the problem, right? And I also think like it’s you’re not saying you don’t have dreams. You’re saying that we’re you don’t putting everything on the dream happening to make your life better is not the thing, because your life could be better now, like your life can be great now, and you can be in process to something you want to be at.

June Suepunpuck 12:34
Exactly. And I think a huge part of it is when the overachievers, high achievers, people pleasers that I work with realize that, oh shoot, I have been living somebody else’s dream. Or, you know, what is my motivation behind this dream? I think that’s what you’re insinuating, right? It’s like the why behind the dream. And a lot of times, what unravels is, oh, shoot, I was really codependent, and I just decided that I wanted to do this because I was too scared to say no, or I realized, oh, I was living this dream for my parents, my case, because I didn’t want to disappoint them. And look at the sacrifices that they made. You know, like I think there are so many different motivators for living out a career versus a calling. And I think that differentiation is really important when it comes to joy and.

Lesley Logan 13:31
Oh my gosh, hit rewind that was so good a career versus a calling. Yes.

June Suepunpuck 13:38
And you know, I think once you find your calling, it then becomes really clear to you that, oh, this is the point, because the career, I think, that we’ve all been sold, is going to give us the house, give us the money, like we’re all chasing these external validation things, right? And then these markers come, and we celebrate for like, two seconds, woo, and then we move on, because we’re like, oh, well, that didn’t really give me sustainable happiness, did it?

Lesley Logan 14:08
Well, I feel like even people aren’t even doing the two second woo, woo. Like they’re just kind of.

June Suepunpuck 14:12
Oh no, yeah. They’re like, just move right along.

Lesley Logan 14:13
You know, like, we so on Fridays of this podcast, we have Fuck Yeah Friday, and I celebrate, like, people send their wins in, and I read them out loud, and I celebrate a win of mine, right? And it’s the goal is that you’re celebrating wins all the time, but okay, let’s just at least do it on Fridays or, like, let’s just, like, take a moment be like, what did I do? And do you know, what is so insane is how many people will wait until something has been completely achieved, even though I’m, like, if you said you’re gonna take a day off, and you took a day off, fucking huge win, big win, massive win. Like, you know what I mean? If you said, oh, I’m gonna call the doctor today and make that appointment finally, and you did that, massive win, worth the celebration. I love it. People have such they’re like, it’s not that big of a deal. Like, my own mom wouldn’t say, like, that’s a good day. And it’s like, we have such a hard time understanding that they’re like, there are things we are doing in our day that are worth like, even woo, wooing, and then, because of that, the only time we are it’s so unfulfilling because we weren’t even we’re too exhausted, tired and disconnected to enjoy it.

June Suepunpuck 15:15
Right. But I also think that there is a layer of it that is deeper, that is a realization that we’re not celebrating, because it’s not exactly it. That’s not the actual joy, right? And I think a lot of high achievers are performative, because we have to be and we have to look like we have to have it all together. We have to be the strong one. We have to do X, Y, Z in a perfect way, and when we actually are messy, people are like, oh my God, are you okay? What happened? Or if we’re like, Oh yeah, you know that thing, it like it worked out, I guess, and we feel dull inside or empty inside, it, those are all indications, right, of just like, hmm, things aren’t really the compass isn’t pointing the direction that we want it to go. But, yeah, I totally think it’s important to see the bright sides. Notice the celebrations, invite in the everyday wins and joys and the glimmers. I think like on Instagram, they were talking about glimmers.

Lesley Logan 16:19
I love a glimmer. I, you know, what you’re talking about with that one athlete. And I think we can all resonate with this, like, we’re seeing my dad only watches sports, so I get I, like, know a lot of sports that I don’t, don’t need to know, don’t have never watched, but like, there’s a female tennis player who’s really amazing, right, and the press is so hard on her, and then she took mental health time, and then they’re even harder on her, like, how dare, like, whatever. How dare she. And I’m like, these, to me, I think these are signs. Like, I think athletes are just like, the example of ourselves, of like, you spend so much time achieving, yeah, and then you make one mistake, like you said you do. And then they’re like, oh, how did what were you thinking about when you hit the ball the wrong way? Like, what were you thinking? What was going through your mind when you realized you lost, you know, like, this terrible things and and it’s like, and so then, as a person who’s watching that, you’re like, oh my God, I don’t want to have that question. So then you just keep, keeping all together.

June Suepunpuck 17:16
I know, because we’re ashamed and embarrassed and we don’t want, like, it’s not okay to admit that you don’t know or that you didn’t enjoy something, or that it was a failure and you truly don’t feel good about it, you know. And I think part of my healing, my own personal healing journey, has been just admitting I don’t know something, like I grew up with such high standards of education that you would be so looked down on if you said I don’t know, or even asked a question, really, and now all I do is like, I don’t know. I have no idea. Let’s figure it out together. Like there’s something very humbling and freeing, to be honest.

Lesley Logan 17:53
Sounds very free. The way you said that I think, that feels good, let’s figure it out.

June Suepunpuck 17:58
Like it’s an exhale, yeah. Let’s figure it out. It’s okay.

Lesley Logan 18:03
So okay. So let’s talk about, like, the grieving process, because is it the same as, like, grieving a loved one, or is it, is it different? Because it’s like you’re having to change. I guess it might be even similar to grieving a loved one, but, like, it’s just that it’s within you, but you’re afraid to change how you do things, like, how you think about doing things, how you make like, that’s got to be hard.

June Suepunpuck 18:23
Well, it is, it is, and I think that’s part of the reason why there’s wonderful therapists out there, or psychiatrists and psychologists that can be mental health advocates for you. And I think where the lane that I fit into is to bring more of joy in the transformation experience. Like my clients still go to their therapist, they are very valuable in what they do and what they’ve educated themselves for. And also, there are more like light-hearted, fun avenues to deepen that conversation so that the grief doesn’t feel so heavy. And so for me, I use tools that is whatever is going to be supportive for the person, because I work more intuitively, but human design, astrology, like, whatever it is, that I used to make fun of, hilarious, I now very much value as conversation starters and guidelines, not like, this is Mercury Retrograde, so you can’t do X. It’s like, actually, these are the energies that are coming up, or this is your human design profile, or even Enneagram, whatever. You know, I love all of those things. They’re just introspective tools, in my opinion.

Lesley Logan 19:36
Well, I think we need the for the person who’s always like a destination junkie. There’s not a lot of introspection going on.

June Suepunpuck 19:44
No, there isn’t. There’s so much outside voices telling you who you are and what you want to be. And those tools could become that you could be like, well, I’m an Aries, and this is why I do X, right? And that’s not what I’m what I would like to use it for. I use it so that we can start a conversation to really understand, okay, we’re grieving. This is really hard and also playfully, how do we look at the context of what this is saying that you who you are, does it resonate with you? Does it not? And so it becomes like a fun conversation that you and I can have to really deep dive into oh my gosh, I am kind of like a Leo, and I do talk like this, or, yeah, I don’t feel like I resonate with human design profile, one, three, you know, whatever that means, and and so, like, the grieving process, I feel like is vital for joy, because you can’t really have, in my opinion, one without the other. Like, polarity, right? The light the bad. I think that there’s so much context when you experience grief. The depths of your grief doesn’t mean that you can’t experience joy. I believe that the depths of your grief also shows you what you can achieve on the joy side. Right. I truly believe that you wouldn’t even understand how joyful you could be if you haven’t gone to those deep places. So, yeah, I, I appreciate tools that help with that, and I really honor the grieving journey.

Lesley Logan 21:12
Yeah, what are some ways we can experience joy in, like, real life and real time? Like, what are like, some of the like, I think, because it’s just, like, it’s such a fun word, right? Like, I mean, it’s been written on like, every thing you put in a kitchen, like, you know, it’s definitely, like, on the ornaments, it’s, you know, like, all this stuff and and, you know, I’ve had experts on talk about, like, anahendria, which is, like, the inability to feel joy, and it’s a hormone response. Like, well a lack of hormone. I’ve had someone talk about like, high functioning depression, and that’s an ability to feel joy, but like, but I’ve never had someone tell me, like, okay, but how do we feel like, like, you know what I mean, because a lot of people don’t even know what they like to do. So how would they even know how to feel like what joy is? If it came knocking on their door, I don’t know that they would know that that’s what they’re feeling.

June Suepunpuck 22:02
No, that’s an excellent point, Lesley, because I think part of it is because you don’t know what you want and who you are, and that’s why these tools are so helpful. But even without the tools, you can really start getting honest with yourself, like I really feel as though the times that I have ever now cultivated my joy, it hasn’t been from something outside of me. It hasn’t been because somebody, you know, I booked a client, you know, like, sure, fleeting but like to find sustainable joy, which is kind of what I’m striving for, for people, it really is about radical honesty every day with yourself, and what that means is, if you don’t know yourself, start asking yourself, okay, where am I living a lie? And really hone in on those places. And it’s going to be hard, and that’s why I’m like, find some help. Go get a guide. Go get a therapist. Go find somebody. I think people will now argue, go go to chatGPT, but to be honest, like, sure, why not? Like, I think whatever will help you to dive deeper, your tool of choice, allows you to better understand, like, okay, if you know, that person wasn’t watching me, if I wasn’t going to be judged, if I didn’t judge myself, what would I be doing right now, or what would I be feeling and wanting to experience? I think that’s a huge part of it. And you know, I think being able to share honestly with somebody as well is very powerful. For me, in my marriage, we have had currently, we’ve had struggles, and I think a huge part of the struggle is because we’re new parents, and that is a struggle in and of itself, and we’re actually very communicative, very like good at being connected, but it is so hard when you have this new being and this new rite of passage, right? So I am personally going through my own transformation, spiritual, existential crises, like, as we’re talking and what I’ve been doing with him is like, okay, he brought up the idea of, let’s talk about one thing we appreciate about each other, so that we can get connected again. And that was helpful. And then I was like, let’s add in one more question. What is one good thing about today? Because when you’re in the shit and you have so much logistics going on and you’re just surviving, it is so hard to find joy. And someone who studies it, practices it like, tries to, you know, really lead from that place I am having a hard time being like, where’s the accountability? I’m sorry. What? Like, what? What am I doing to find joy right now? And it was their joy today. Like, it’s so hard when you’re in the grief and the the new identity and the shift to really find it. And. Have to be very conscious about it. So it was awkward at first. I’m not gonna lie, both of us were like, Oh, my God, what was good about today? Do you know? I don’t know.

Lesley Logan 25:09
Yeah, but it’s like, I remember as a kid, my parents were like, okay, tell us like a good thing that happened at school today. Like, my friends play like, two roses and a thorn. They could say, like, two good things that happened, one bad thing that happened, and but it is true. I interviewed someone, and he said he and his wife, literally, at the end of each day, they sit down, they talk about three things that happened that day and share it with the person. Because, like, they live their whole life all day, and like, you know, like, here’s our you know. And I, I think that, like, it sounds so corporate or like clinical, but it’s also, like, a great way to get to know someone. It’s a time you can actually, like, sit down and talk about it, and it does help you reflect. Because we have a rule in our communities, like, you can complain, but you have to have a win, because if you otherwise, it’s really, it’s so easy to find the shit that happened in the day. Like we can all, we all figured out right now, but if you don’t take a moment to, like, oh, but this actual, like, actually, like, actually, I got a letter from someone who said, like, I really helped them. Like, it’s so easy to miss that, you know, the glimmer.

June Suepunpuck 26:06
Exactly, yeah, and that was the thing. That’s why I had asked, like, let’s find one good thing about today, because our life is so logistics based now, with everything trying to juggle, that we’re like, oh, right. We spend so much time complaining or being like, oh, this is going wrong, that we missed the one good thing. And so, yeah, I would say from a very grounded, practical place, that I think anybody could really go for. It’s doing that, and if you’re by yourself, allowing yourself to keep a journal of it, and like, it sounds like gratitude journal, but it actually isn’t, because I think gratitude is very hard to reach when you are struggling like you can’t be appreciative, when you feel like your whole life is blowing up and things are ending and you’re grieving the person that you once were, I don’t think appreciation has there’s no space for that, let alone, like, joy, right? But, but just by saying one good thing, like, what is one good thing? Like you said earlier, I woke up tonight, I like having that list of the one good thing I think is so vital to be on the path towards joy. So I don’t think there is, to be honest, one singular thing that it makes sense. Nobody has been like, here’s the formula, because I don’t believe in formulas either, to getting to joy, because it’s so unique for everyone as well, and so is the grieving process.

Lesley Logan 27:32
June, you’re pissing off all my perfectionists, you know. They’re really pissed off.

June Suepunpuck 27:35
I know that’s why I’m here.

Lesley Logan 27:39
I want to know the one way, what’s the thing that we can do? What’s the thing?

June Suepunpuck 27:43
I mean, you know, I have my own podcast, and I legit called it How To Find Joy. And I have, I’m working on season two, but it’s like going to be a whole overhaul, because I was trying to formula the shit out of it and be like, here are the three points.

Lesley Logan 27:57
Oh because that’s what every girl, that’s what every business coach probably told everyone to do. And if you ask chatGPT, like, you got to do that. And you have to have, like, I need a freebie, June, I need to find joy today in my life. I should have a freebie, I want the perfect guide, but like, there isn’t one, so.

June Suepunpuck 28:11
No. And then I burn myself out because I’m exhausted trying to find the formula. And I’m like, oh shit, I think here’s another roadblock. Like, I want to address the roadblock, right? And I want to address the possible bypassing that we’re doing as high achievers, even trying to find the formula, it’s like, no, the formulas get to know yourself. Like the formula is, it’s about going inward. It’s an inside job. I always say this. It’s like, joy is an inside job. It’s not, let me go buy the pretty bag. Let me go, you know, do whatever and get the highest promotion. It’s not that it’s an inside job, because I have talked to so many successful people who are just like, oh, wow, I hate all this. I thought I’d love this, and I hate it all.

Lesley Logan 28:56
Yeah, yeah. I’m you’re making me think of like, so, Pilates is what I do for litmus, like, I teach, right? And it tends to attract, like, perfectionist because, like, they’re just like, if I can just do it right, then I’ve like, nailed it, Nirvana, like, I’m gonna slay it, right? And that was me. And then I, like, went to my I got a study at a place where the one of the owners, he went, he studied with Joseph Pilates. And he was like, oh, he was like, that’s really pretty, but it’s not connected. And I was like, what, you know? And I was so mad, because I was like, What do you mean? I nailed it right? Like, I got, I get compliments all the time, you know? And so in order to stay at that space, I had to learn to be in process, and I had to learn to, like, it couldn’t be just because it’s pretty doesn’t mean it’s right or connected. And like, it blew my mind, because, isn’t it, like, what we’re all wanting and so I work with all these people, and here I am, like, 15 years later, and they’re just like, okay, but like, you know, I just need to get it right. And I’m like, so, just so you know, like, this is a practice, and you get to do it for the rest of your life, and there are going to be days where you feel like you nailed it, and then you’re going to try it again, and it’s going to be gone, and you just get to keep doing it, because it’s just part of, like, the inside practice. And there’s, like, the only way to make sure you like, to ensure you don’t get this, is to try to be perfect about it. And I think, like that, just what came up in my mind as you’re trying to like formula, like joy, it’s like the what the fast track to make sure you’ll never experience joy is to like, find a checklist to perfectly enjoy yourself into a day.

June Suepunpuck 30:33
No, and I can say that because I did it right. Like I totally went that path. And I was like, okay, now that I’m a joy guide, or I didn’t even know I was a joy guide. It was very uncertain. It was just like, Let’s slap on the name. Let’s try it out. I quit my job, and this is, I think, what I’m doing now. Like, I don’t know, and I felt so disconnected from myself and my body, because I was trying to survive, and it was such a stressful job. And when I came out of it. I realized when I first started becoming a joy guide, I recognized I was just copying and pasting whatever I was doing before, you know, in Hollywood, to what I was currently doing, even though it had all the languaging, all the energy healing, all the spiritual terms, all the things, and yet, my body, my brain were still activated from that old me. And so you’re totally right. There is some sort of disconnection and deconditioning, is what they say in human design, to like, decondition yourself from being enslaved by your mind, to actually live through your body. And there’s something so cool about being able to recognize like that is one of the biggest keys to joy. Like you have to feel it. But if you’re disconnected from your feelings and your body, you’re, yeah, of course, you’re having a hard time that’s, that’s where it lives, is in your body, and you have to feel it. So for your Pilates people, it’s like, right, that makes it so much more important, because being connected to your body and feeling each position, you get to embody the joy of what that position gives you, right? And so that is something that you have to get out of your mind to do, and it takes a practice. And one of the things I always say, too, is joy is a practice. It isn’t something that you can achieve overnight. It’s something, again, an inside job.

Lesley Logan 32:32
June, I think everyone was hoping that they could just achieve it tomorrow. I’m so sorry.

June Suepunpuck 32:36
I’m sorry. They’re bad news.

Lesley Logan 32:40
But I really love, I love the honesty and authenticity, and also, like, you guys, guess what? Like, there isn’t one way, like a one path. So if you so, you get to, you get to do the inside job and find a path. You don’t do it alone. Because, like, there you can have June, you know, like, you get to blow up your life.

June Suepunpuck 32:59
And you can choose your own adventure, right?

Lesley Logan 33:01
Yes, yes. And you, and you don’t have to blow up your life to do it. Like, I think that that’s a misconception. I definitely think that there probably could have been a path that I could have, a little easier.

June Suepunpuck 33:13
Right? So then hold on, like, let’s talk about blow ups. What? What happened in your blow up?

Lesley Logan 33:18
Yeah, okay, so I was on the 101, in traffic, leaving the house that I was with. I was with a partner for five years, and we lived in this beautiful place in the valley in Topanga, like overlooking, like the west coast. So it’s, like, stunning, right? And I was in traffic because he’s like, well, I make more money, and my job is right there, so I’ll pay more rent and you get to commute. So fine, okay, makes sense? Like, whatever. I don’t know, sure, perfect on paper person, but not really. So, like, checklist, perfect on paper, very secure. He is a lawyer and a sports aid managing agent. Like, yeah. And then, like, I have, I love this beautiful house, check, and like, okay, Minnie Cooper, check, like, I paid for it, but like, okay, nice little thing, okay, on that 101, and I was like, I don’t know how to break up with this person. I wonder if they could break up with me, because I think that would really help things out, right? Like, it’s just the thought that I had, and I was just, I was like, I because this isn’t, this isn’t good. But everyone is like, oh my God, you’ve got this perfect house and this perfect boyfriend, and you’ve been together for five years and like, you know, just like L.A. checklist all the things, right? Okay, so anyways, I was watching He’s Just Not That Into You, while reading Strength Finders 2.0 and realizing I was like, I don’t, I wonder if he knows that he’s just not that into me, right? This is what I didn’t even cross my mind that like, maybe I’m not into him exactly because of the overachiever in me, like I couldn’t be wrong. So this is what I did. They were in the middle of a massive court case. Nice. They weren’t even coming home. I packed up what I could fit my Mini Cooper, which, by the way, guys, was most of my precious belongings that I owned in the house, besides my clothes. Head off my Mini Cooper, I got, everyone in L.A. knows, it’s like, you have to go into like, apartments.com, and get, like, a membership to look at apartment listings. And I texted a co worker. I said, Can I sleep in your guest room? And she’s like, is everything okay? I’m like, it’s totally fine. I’m just gonna leave my partner. I’m gonna stay with you just for a couple weeks and.

June Suepunpuck 35:28
That’s a great friend, by the way. That is a great friend?

Lesley Logan 35:30
Yeah, yeah, yeah, great friend. Amazing friend. Stayed with her for a couple weeks. So I broke up with them, and I’m so bad at breaking up with I’d never done it before. So I just like, so I’m leaving. I actually moved out last night. And they were like, crushed, like, crushed. And they were like, of course, like, you’re cheating on me, or whatever, blah, blah, blah, all these things. And I was like, no, I just don’t think that. Like you, like who I am. I think I am checking a box for you, you know. So like, in my checking boxes, I also think that they were like, okay, pretty girlfriend, check, like, you know what I mean, and like, they decorate the home when I wasn’t even there, like, it was like, okay, and big screen TV check, like, all this stuff, right? So at any rate, I leave them devastated. It’s not, it’s not great. Couple weeks later, I had to go by their house to grab something that I needed, and I, as I was leaving, I totaled my car right heard the thing say, make a left turn here. And like, why would I do that? I would make a left turn here, totaled my car. Yeah. And then the place that I rented space had to teach my clients where I made like half my income. They were like, oh, the landlord is not renewing our lease, so we’re closing. Yeah. And I was just like, okay, well.

June Suepunpuck 36:51
Like a life overhaul.

Lesley Logan 36:52
Yeah. So I just like, I’ve heard of Saturn Return. I guess I’m in it. How old were you? I was three. It was my 30th, okay, it was my 30th year. So I was just like, I was like, I was like, I was like, Well, I looked it up, and I was like, I guess you should just take everything I’m not supposed to have, because I need to, this is, listen to this achiever in me, I need to start all over. And I’d like to not have it here if it’s not going with me in the next one.

June Suepunpuck 37:18
I mean, I applaud you for the courage to do it. I think that, you know, sure, there could have been maybe other options, but so I don’t regret any of the blow ups I’ve ever done.

Lesley Logan 37:30
No honestly, like it was such an adventure. I got to know, here’s the thing to your point, so yes, I had a blow, but I could not checklist myself out of it, because I had no place to live. I was living out of the clothes, in my car, in my rental car, not even my car, and I wouldn’t, didn’t overstay my welcome anywhere. So I was just like, Okay, I’m gonna couch surf a week at a time at all these different people’s places, and I’m just gonna figure out where I like to live. And it was the coolest thing, because I was just like, oh, I don’t like this commute. No, this one sucks. Actually, the parking over here is shit. And, like.

June Suepunpuck 38:05
You actually got to know yourself.

Lesley Logan 38:07
Yeah, I totally did. And I was just like, I thought I would want to live in Brentwood. Because, like, who doesn’t want to live in Brentwood? And then I was like, the parking is ridiculous. So I was like, I really like Westwood. I love how I’m three miles from everything. This is so perfect. So then I, like, found that, right? And then, as we okay, well, where am I going to teach? Because I wanted to be here. And then, like, what do I want to drive now that I can pick whatever car I want, and not being pressured by someone else to get, like, the beamer what? What do I want to what do I want to drive? And I was like, I want to drive a big ass Jeep, because I want to be above everybody. Like, I want to, I in blowing things up, I had to, like, ask myself a lot of questions along the way. And it really helped me, before we hit record, you guys, June, all, June got to meet Brad, I would never, never would have dated Brad, not because he’s not good looking like that would have been a yes, but if he would have told me what he did for a living and what he want to do for a living, I’m like, that is not a destination addiction. I can’t deal with that. You want to be a musician that sounds really unreliable.

June Suepunpuck 39:11
That sounds like instability to me. I’m going to exit stage left.

Lesley Logan 39:15
So but because I had just blown everything up and I tried all these things out, I got to know myself. I really, actually got to know what I actually wanted in a partner, which was less of a checklist and more of a feeling. And so thankfully, he had also blown his life up, so we got to do it together.

June Suepunpuck 39:32
That is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.

Lesley Logan 39:36
I know, really cute. So I just thanks for letting me go down memory lane. But I think it’s now I could see like, how I didn’t know what I was doing with seeking joy and trying to get to know myself. It just kind of was like, I really have nothing else to there’s nothing I can do now except for get to know myself because I’m fucked.

June Suepunpuck 39:55
Well, yeah, and I laugh with my clients because they’ll reach a fuck it phase, and it’s actually surrender right to whatever the outcome is. And they finally collapse under uncertainty, and then they realize, oh, I can relinquish this control. Because that is laughable, that we even think we have control, right? But there is some wisdom, and I love your story, because it is very similar to a lot of people who’ve gone through spiritual awakenings, existential crisis, breakdowns to breakthroughs. It’s everyone has their own version, but unfortunately for high achievers and leaders, they’re like, we don’t talk about that, yeah, that was a failure, that was a blip in time, that will never happen again, you know. And then it happens again, you know, where they realize it, but maybe more subtle ways. You know, they didn’t blow up their life, but they’re just consistently and chronically depressed. Or they’re just very disassociated all the time. They’re like feelings, what feelings I just got to get through the day. And then they wonder why they can’t feel happiness and joy and they don’t feel fulfilled in their lives. And this is, this is why.

Lesley Logan 41:06
June, you could keep going. This is so fun. I think we have to have you back. Well here, I know, because I just think that, like, I love the fuck it phase, oh my gosh. It’s better than a bucket list.

June Suepunpuck 41:17
It really is. It really is. And I I’ve gone through it too, so I highly recommend the fuck it phase, personally. But I’m also fiery Aries, and so I think I just like throwing grenades sometimes. But there is a more peaceful way which I am offering an option for people. There is a peaceful route, but if you like some funsies and a little bit of chaos.

Lesley Logan 41:42
Or if you are in your fuck it phase and you’re just like, I maybe need a guide to get out of this. You know?

June Suepunpuck 41:47
Yes, for sure.

Lesley Logan 41:48
I’m just so glad that our paths crossed. I’m grateful for Hillary. We’re gonna take a brief break and then find out where people can find you, follow you and work with you.

Lesley Logan 41:55
All right, June, whether people are in the fuck it phase or considering it, how can they work with you?

June Suepunpuck 42:04
They can find me on Substack, so it’s under Joy Guide June and I have a community over there, and we’re I’m calling it The Joy Rebellion, because it really does take a rebellion from your entire existence to enact joy sometimes, especially when you’re a high achiever. So I’m trying to create a community where we can, like, learn from each other, and build space for each other, really, for the safety and security to know that we’re not alone. I think a lot of people ask, what’s the point? And feel like they can collapse under the purposelessness of their life, and that the purpose I believe in being human is also existing together and learning together in community and loving each other. So finding joy through that. And then I’ll have my YouTube channel as well under Joy guide, June, yeah, and my Season Two podcast, which will be a total overhaul, I’d love to have you.

Lesley Logan 42:59
Let’s do it. I’m in, I would love it. Yes, yes, because it’s, honestly, it’s been like a whole journey for me. Like, I can tell you right now, like, I I don’t even know if I was a happy child. Like, I think my family thought I was like, I was talkative, and I achieved a lot of things. But if I look back on it, like I was like, I mean, I laugh, but like, I’m like, I have had to the pandemic really forced me to, like, also another time to go, okay, hold on. Like, what do I enjoy doing now that I’ve like, now that I, like, got myself out of being homeless all the thingslike, you know, like.

June Suepunpuck 43:40
Sure, we can laugh at it now, guys, we can laugh at it now.

Lesley Logan 43:44
And, but like, you know, also sometimes you outgrow some of the things that brought you joy. Like, so it was this whole, I think that, like, there’s some fun there. So, yes, I’ve gained whatever you want me to. go, If you guys go wherever you listen to this podcast, you can listen to June’s podcast. You’ve actually given us so much. But I do want some bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?

June Suepunpuck 44:06
Okay, so I would say, stop lying to yourself, step one. So figure out where you’re lying friends, where are you lying to yourself in your life? Let’s get honest and then question your dreams, like, are you living this life that is your dream? Is it expired yet, does it still even bring you joy? And if the answer is no, like, do not fret. There are ways to like, find yourself and discover this new version of yourself, and you can get support, right? Like, get support, go to therapy, go to whatever you want, reach out to me as your joy guide. But I feel like, you know, I hear a lot of people saying at the end of life and their studies on it of like what they regret, and the regret is always feeling like they didn’t allow themselves to be joyful or they worked too much, high achievers, and they wish they hadn’t worked so much. So what are other things that fulfill you outside of work? I know I’m offering only questions, but I think these questions will lead you down a rabbit hole that will lead you to joy.

Lesley Logan 45:16
I actually like I think that the questions are brilliant, and what a like, especially for my people who are sitting in traffic, you have the rest of traffic to just stew on that.

June Suepunpuck 45:27
And I’m speaking to the journal prompt people, they’re like, okay, cool.

Lesley Logan 45:30
Yeah, oh, I know my journal prompt people, they’re like, hold I can write about that. Yeah, that’s good. June, I could talk to you forever. This is so fun, next time.

June Suepunpuck 45:38
Thank you for having me.

Lesley Logan 45:39
I thank you for being here. Thank you for, like, blowing our minds. You guys, how are you going to use these tips in your life? How are you gonna answer those questions? June wants to know. I want to know. Share it with the Be It Pod. Share it with June the Joy Guide, and share this with a friend who needs to hear it. We all have those friends who, just like they’re on a mountain with no peak and they’re never taking the view and like they won’t even know that’s why you sent them. Tell this to send them this episode till they hear this part right here, then they’ll know why you did it, but that’s okay. They’ll thank you for it and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 46:10
That’s all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

Brad Crowell 46:53
It’s written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 46:57
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell 47:02
Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 47:09
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell 47:12
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.