Lesley Logan: Why does being bullied, bring on shame, right? But it does. It’s, it’s normal. That, that’s actually like the response. And, and that said, that’s actually wrong, you know, we shouldn’t feel shame when we’re being bullied. Or you shouldn’t feel shame if you’re being bullied. And I think that, that the best way to not feel shame is to have someone to talk to about it.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

Lesley Logan 1:22
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the assuaging and empowering convo I have with Andi Kay, in our last episode, if you haven’t yet listened to that one, you should go back and listen to that one now and come back and join us or listen to this one and go back and do that one. You can listen to whatever order you want. If you’re on the OPC app, which is free by the way, you can actually see the order of the episodes and you can pick and choose. If you’re on your you know, Apple, then it kind of just puts the latest one up. So it’s all good. You do you. If you are listening to the pitter-patter of tiny feet behind my ear is a dog. And she no longer likes this spot, she said. So here we go. We’ll see how this goes, everyone.

Lesley Logan 2:40
In other news, speaking of dogs, today is November 30, if you’re listening in real time, and it’s Celebrate Shelter Pets Day. So what this is, what this excites me about is Brad and I have done this before, and I’m currently thinking about doing it again. We have volunteered for different dog shelters to walk dogs or like sit with a shelter dog or you can read a book to them, especially when they’re at the vet or whatever. And so today is the day we celebrate Shelter Pets Day. So if you have any time if you’re at all lonely, may I suggest you contact all the different dog shelters and charities that you are in your area and see if you can apply to play with the dogs. It’s different than being a foster. You don’t have to take them home with you. But you can sometimes take them out on a hike you can take them for a car ride, you can sit in the thing and read a book to them. They need your love. So if you’re in Las Vegas, by the way, the Nevada SPCA has an application link I’m going to fill it out in the new year. Because that’s when I’m home and I can maybe take an hour to procrastinate and go sit with a shelter dog.

Brad Crowell 3:42
I used to do it in L.A. I mean we would go over to a vet and just walk the dog around the block and the dogs love it. They were chill.

Lesley Logan 3:54
They’re all, they’re all chill. They just want love it’s so nice and like if you’re having a bad day and you go walk a dog that’s like in a shelter you fucking don’t have a bad day anymore and nor do they so and since we have three dogs which is why I literally look at every single dog

Brad Crowell 4:10
And one of them well, I guess who’s in a rescue not a shelter, but so oh my own was a shelter.

Lesley Logan 4:16
Oh and he was at a kill shelter.

Brad Crowell 4:18
Yeah, he was a shelter. Gaia, I got from my neighbor. August we got from

Lesley Logan 4:23
Well, Gaia, Gaia was at a rescue before your neighbor and then you rescued her from your neighbor. And then I don’t you know listeners, what’s the difference between a shelter and a rescue? I think they’re the same. I think it’s just two different words. These dogs will have homes and so so you know anyways go celebrate. Go if you are lonely. Go apply if you you don’t have to actually adopt the dog I know not everyone’s lifestyle allows them to have one or their apartment might not but go and you know give them some love. I promise you if you’re feeling like you don’t have love and you give love to a dog. Then you get love back and then there you go. You have love. Anyways. Magic.

Brad Crowell 5:03
That works.

Lesley Logan 5:05
It’s at work.

Brad Crowell 5:05
Go pick up a dog, they will love you.

Lesley Logan 5:07
Whatever you need. If you give out into the world you get back. That’s how it goes. You want to feel seen make eye contact. Anyways, we have more things talking about. We are about to go on tour, we are so freakin close.

Brad Crowell 5:19
Oh, it’s gonna be an epic tour.

Lesley Logan 5:21
So December 8 is when the tour kicks off in Las Vegas. At the time that we’re recording this we have a bunch of cities already opened up and a few few more are going to be added really soon.

Brad Crowell 5:31
We’re looking at like 20 cities.

Lesley Logan 5:33
Yeah, we’re this is gonna be the biggest tour we’ve ever done. There’s workshops and workouts and the workouts are great for everybody. The workshops are actually great for any Pilates lover. So you don’t have to be a teacher, the way I teach them is for anyone to enjoy. So you could go to opc.me/tour opc.me/tour and you can see where we’re going to be. We’re driving 7000 miles. So I’m just saying you could drive 100 to hang out. And there’s like prizes and all this good stuff. So you’re gonna want to

Brad Crowell 5:59
It’s true.

Lesley Logan 5:59
Gonna want to be there. Then it’s Brad’s webinar in just a few days. And Brad, what’s your webinar about? You tell them.

Brad Crowell 5:59
Yeah, it’s all about websites. So, you know, how do you make a website that brings you new clients? And, you know, makes your life easier?

Lesley Logan 6:12
Yeah.

Brad Crowell 6:13
And I’m really

Lesley Logan 6:17
Can I shout out something? So Christy Nash, and I’m gonna shout out her win. She just built her website. She’s an Agency member. And she just launched a website probably a couple months ago, I want to say, and she launched a website, she uses our scheduling tool that we were partners with, and her brand new car need to go to the shop. And so she had to drive, all the way from Sacramento from where she lives it’s just like a good hour and a half drive, drive it in to go to the place to get checked out. And so she went to the mall across the street, just walking around, and she got an email that somebody had purchased a intro package through her website on her scheduling tool, but they are a ballerina looking for to Pilates two times a week. She literally was out doing her life because her website showed this person everything she does and it made it easy for the person to book and she didn’t have to do anything. You guys a website is worth every single penny because it is a 24/7 assistant you don’t have time for or the money to have. So, boom. There you go.

Brad Crowell 6:17
That’s so cool.

Lesley Logan 6:19
I know.

Brad Crowell 6:19
Congratulations.

Lesley Logan 6:22
It just happened, just happened. I know. So excited about

Brad Crowell 7:00
Amazing news.

Lesley Logan 7:18
Yeah, and then so where do they go babe?

Brad Crowell 7:20
Go to prfit.biz/upcoming that’s P as in Paul, R-F-I-T or profit without the O prfit.biz prfit.biz/upcoming.

Lesley Logan 7:33
Yeah, so this is really great. Also, by the way you want to do the

Brad Crowell 7:33
I guess it’s prfit. Prfit without the O.

Lesley Logan 7:34
I think you’re good profit without the O. You guys when we do these webinars, you actually want to sign up for them when they’re live because they’re the best price fucking ever. And when we when the one they’ll replay is over then they go to like 100 140 bucks. So you know

Brad Crowell 7:55
It is true. It’s definitely worth it. You will, well, you’ll enjoy it. I mean, it’s

Lesley Logan 8:01
It’s Brad. Don’t you enjoy him? He knows a lot about websites.

Brad Crowell 8:04
Yeah. Built a few of those in my my day.

Lesley Logan 8:07
Yeah. He built me some as a way to flirt for me. Flirt with me, or show me how amazing he was.

Brad Crowell 8:14
So I do.

Lesley Logan 8:15
Yeah. Also, we’re coming up on eLevate round four, which is my Pilates mentorship.

Brad Crowell 8:21
Hey, baby. You want a website?

Lesley Logan 8:25
Can I get your number?

Brad Crowell 8:27
Can I get your number?

Lesley Logan 8:29
All right too many inside jokes around here. But eLevate round four, which is my Pilates mentorship for teachers starts in the new year. And if we have a couple spots left at the time of recording this and if you are like oh my God, I’m tired of over talking. I’m afraid I’m burning out. I feel like an impostor. I don’t know how to do this. Then you want to be in this mentorship. So go to L-E-S-L-E-Y-L-O-G-A-N .co/elevate that is lesleylogan.co/elevate. I do spell Lesley with an E-Y just saying. And then we snuck this one in here because in January we’re actually going to be announcing the early bird specials for our next Cambodia retreat. I know you saw the pictures. I know you saw the videos. I know you’ve all the fucking FOMO so you want to be on the waitlist because that’s who gets the best early bird special. And they get first dibs and space is limited on our retreat.

Brad Crowell 9:13
It’s limited.

Lesley Logan 9:14
I mean, it’s our house so we only have so many spots. So you want to go to lesleylogan.co/retreats. You already know how to spell Lesley, right, logan.co/retreats. Plural, plural. All right before we talk about Andi and her awesomeness, do we have an audience question?

Brad Crowell 9:27
We do. How do you set goals for the new year?

Lesley Logan 9:33
We really don’t.

Brad Crowell 9:34
Nope.

Lesley Logan 9:36
We don’t. We don’t believe in New Year’s resolution.

Brad Crowell 9:38
Our goal is to not set goals and we succeed every year.

Lesley Logan 9:43
Every year. But I guess you probably are wanting to know like how we we obviously have some sort of goal that we work towards. We just don’t set them on January. I’m being really honest. Like we already have next year planned. So the goals are more intentions like and we kind of set them usually around the summertime, we look at each other going, Okay? What do we like about this year? What do we not like, and there’s not a lot we can change about the rest of the year. So what do we want to? So I expressed to Brad that I wasn’t gonna schedule things for next year until after we got back from Cambodia. We successfully did that if you listen to FYF, so I talked about that. But then we really are like, okay, well, what, what do we want to keep? And what do we want more of, and what do we want to get rid of, and then we make sure that our schedules and our business decisions reflect those intentions and wants and needs. So I guess you can call that goals. But it’s more like, it’s more like wants and needs that make us feel like whole awesome people. And because you change all the time, those those intentions can change. And you might also change them halfway through the year. So you know, the end of the year is nice to reflect upon what you want for next year. But I would just say your schedule should reflect the life you want to live. And if it doesn’t, you’re not going to achieve any goal you have or intention you have or want you have. So that’s how we do it.

Brad Crowell 11:07
Yeah, I think I think that you definitely nailed that. We used to write a bunch of things down and we don’t do that anymore. But we do

Lesley Logan 11:20
We visualize

Brad Crowell 11:22
Our goals kind of happen throughout the year, you know?

Lesley Logan 11:25
Yeah. And also because you can because you might hear something go oh my God, I want to do that. Why fucking wait, just do it. Just figure out a way to like put in the schedule and do it and like, I know that sounds privileged and like, obviously, Les, you have no kids, you have no idea how hard it is. But you can go if you want to be working out an hour a day for yourself you could start with five minutes. You know, you will I promise you if you’re kind to yourself, you’ll find an hour over time and as you build up your endurance. So anyways, send your questions in to the Be It Pod. Obviously, we give direct honest and loving answers because there’s no bullshit around here.

Brad Crowell 12:38
All right now let’s talk about Andi Kay. Andi Kay’s personal experience with years of online bullying, spanning Junior High, High School, and then college led her to found Bloom, a supportive community helping girls and women find purpose and value in their identity. The rise of anxiety, depression and teen suicide among teenage girls drove her to share the Bloom curriculum, which she created alongside therapists and psychologists. This curriculum includes self social emotional lessons, which can be passed from girl to girl with the goal of creating a kinder world.

Lesley Logan 13:20
She has these journals guys, there’s like you can get them on Amazon, by the way. I have them here at the house, I want to send them to Cambodia, I listed a few people. It was I was telling people I’ve said at women’s event back in April, May. I don’t know, someone knows, when I went to Connecticut. And I was telling this woman about these journals. And they’re all like in their 30s and 40s going I need this journal, I need this journal. So I just what she’s doing to help people who are like young girls who are bullied, understand how to how to let it not be internalized and not get them down. And then also have empathy, which is what the world needs a fuck ton more of is awesome. So I’m really excited that and that we had her on the show and that we know her. As you know from the show, I was introduced to her by one of my clients who was bullied like crazy online. And then I was bullied online. So I wanted OPC’s money to, not all of it though, hard donation money to go to this charity for this year. We choose a new charity each year and it just felt on, like it felt needed to give back to younger girls to learn how to do it because I’m like, I’m 40 and I don’t know how to fucking deal with it so (inaudible).

Brad Crowell 14:38
(inaudible) It was miserable.

Lesley Logan 14:41
It’s miserable. So she said you can choose to give kindness even if you’re not receiving it. And I think that’s really hard to do. Because we kind of like we live in a world it’s like, I’m not going to I’m not going to trust you until you’d like you’d give me something to trust you about, you know what it’s like, actually, you kind of have to trust to get the like, you know what happens I’m first the chicken or the egg. But giving kindness even if you’re not receiving it is really powerful just goes back to what I said, with the shelter dogs, if you need love, give love and you, they start to give it back. She also uses, she also talked about an exercise you can do where you think about someone you’re grateful for. And then you can write a text to them, which we just did this as adults this week. While we’re recording this, you know, we’re in an event and like they said, okay, your homework is to, like, tell someone how much you truly appreciate them. And I have to say, it’s fucking cool. It was so great. I know, it probably benefited you a ton, but I benefited so much from it. I was like, wow, that was so nice. It’s so like

Brad Crowell 15:50
I’m glad to hear that.

Lesley Logan 15:53
But no, but like, it’s true.

Brad Crowell 15:54
I’m glad that was for you.

Lesley Logan 15:55
It wasn’t for me. But afterwards, I realized how how wonderful it was for me. So I’m gonna do it all the time. So she also believes you can find your own purpose through being kind through kindness. So by finding your unique strengths, they lead you towards your purpose in life. And especially when you are when you feel like nobody likes you, or like when someone just continues to attack you. It can feel kind of like, all everything in your life is about that thing, but it’s not. And, and she said, words are powerful, but you can use your words for good, too. And I just think it’s it’s just, it’s not easy to do this when you’re being bullied. But my goodness, if if you have no takeaways like maybe you’ve never been bullied your whole life, and you’ve just like, you like no idea what this is, can I just say that, like, words are powerful, and you can use words for good. So maybe just keep doing that in your life? So I just it was it was really nice to hear those things. I think as adults, we can, you know, we need those reminders as well. What did you like?

Brad Crowell 16:55
I really dug when she was talking about worthiness. It is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, because of mindset, and worthiness is like goes hand in hand with mindset of who am I to be running a business or, you know, coaching other people or whatever those things are? That you asked yourself? And she said, it’s important to address your sense of self self-worth, and understand that what other people say cannot take away your worthiness. You are worthy period, regardless of what they say, it doesn’t change the fact that you are worthy, right? And what happens when people are bullying you, is you it’s very easy to forget that. It’s very easy to see, to like you have blind, reverse blinders on. All you end up seeing is the vitriol of this person or this group of people. And you forget to look at yourself and see that there’s way more to you than whatever it is they might be focused on. You know, and most likely they’re not even, they’re not saying anything that’s a valid, you know, nothing valid anyway, so

Lesley Logan 18:29
Well, and also like, I mean, here’s the reality, anyone who takes the time to say something shitty hates themselves, so I get it often, but on YouTube, I’ll get some assholes, like saying something. And you know, some days I’ll just take it down and some days I’m like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like what is wrong, like, what are you talking about? You know? And sometimes I clap back on Instagram, and most the time I delete it, and I block someone I love the block and bless. I’m like, block, bless you. You know, blessed be the fruit. Go ahead. May the Lord open the little Handmaid’s Tale towards you. But I think like, it’s when it’s happening to you it’s almost like everything stops and that’s the only thing, that’s the only thing making sound and you can’t hear anything else. And, you know, we have someone in our life who’s being bullied. And we’re hearing what she’s saying. And you’re just like, what the fuck is wrong with this kid? Like

Brad Crowell 19:25
The bully.

Lesley Logan 19:26
The bully. Because what she is saying to the person, even even if it’s true, because it’s based on what she looks like, that is a beautiful thing anyways, so the fact that you don’t think it’s beautiful, if you turn the mirror around, that means that person thinks they’re beautiful. That’s really what it is. Typically, that’s what they’re attacking people on. So I just, I think,

Brad Crowell 19:47
Yeah, I think, you know, looking at, it’s just hard to do when you’re in the moment.

Lesley Logan 19:53
Oh, I couldn’t do it,

Brad Crowell 19:54
It’s so hard to sidestep.

Lesley Logan 19:56
I was 39 I couldn’t do it. I had adults telling me to like not pay attention to it. I’m like

Brad Crowell 20:00
It’s hard to sidestep and look at it from an objective perspective. You know, it becomes so personal. And it’s easy to, that creates overwhelm, and you feel stuck, and then you focus on them, instead of focusing on you. And, you know, so she, so Andi was saying that it’s crucial to counteract negative influences and perceptions with positive self-talk. But that’s actually still really hard to do. You know, so I think that, you know, from there, you can also surround yourself and surround yourself with people who are supportive of you. And also, I think one of the things that is the most important thing is to tell someone else that it’s happening. Yeah, it’s so important to tell somebody else who can, who can like, see through the bullshit, and tell you what’s actually going on. And, you know, because we just get wrapped up in it, especially when you’re, even though it doesn’t make sense. Like, what online bullying, you might be bullied about something that is the fucking dumbest thing. But somehow we believe it, because suddenly, the online thing makes it really easy for other people to jump on.

Lesley Logan 21:11
Well, I think like, in my case, I, I didn’t believe what they’re bullying me about. But I was worried that other people would believe what they were bullying me about.

Brad Crowell 21:20
Right, because they don’t know the context, and they can’t tell that the person who’s doing the bullying is taking it out of context. Or making shit up.

Lesley Logan 21:28
Yeah. And like, also, especially if you like, it’s hard to avoid the online, especially for those people who work online or like, you’re like, or especially

Brad Crowell 21:38
When online is your life.

Lesley Logan 21:39
For young kids, it’s how they communicate to them, text and call, they’re like, in whatever social profile it is. So all of a sudden that the way you communicate with people is no longer safe. And for me, it was it meant it made it really hard for me to do my job because it wasn’t safe for me to open up the apps. Right? So but I want I want to highlight what you just said, I, it took a lot for me to actually finally open up and tell anyone other than you and, you know, warriors and other people, because I had so much shame around it. I had so much shame around it.

Brad Crowell 22:11
Isn’t that amazing, though? Like why? Why does that?

Lesley Logan 22:14
I know. Why do I have shame?

Brad Crowell 22:15
Yeah, why does, why does being bullied, bring on shame, right? But it does. It’s it’s normal, that that’s actually like the response. And, and that said, that’s actually wrong, you know, we shouldn’t feel shame when we’re being bullied. Or you shouldn’t feel shame if you’re being bullied. And I think that that the best way to not feel shame is to have someone to talk to about it.

Lesley Logan 22:43
And to go back to what you loved. To know you have a sense of self-worth and know, before it’s going on.

Brad Crowell 22:51
Well, I mean, that’s hard. That’s hard.

Lesley Logan 22:53
It’s hard when you’re older, but like, but

Brad Crowell 22:55
I mean, I just remember being in high school and my sense of self-worth actually came from being rebellious. Where I was, I was like, deciding to break the social norms and break the rules. And that was the old that was my backbone.

Lesley Logan 23:11
You were like a total rebel. I am not a rebel at all. I am someone who wants everything to go smooth. I want I don’t want to ever like I want to I, I want to stand out for good things, but not stand up for anything that has to be bullying is like just the worst thing could ever happen to me. I’m just gonna be because it’s like, I, it’s just the way I was raised. But I also

Brad Crowell 23:13
My, mine is self defense. I didn’t feel guilt I felt I became sarcastic. You know?

Lesley Logan 23:41
I remember like my, bless my dad, when I was bullied in elementary school and I told him about it. His response was a bullying comment back and I was like, okay, Dad, that doesn’t, like that’s not who I am. So.

Brad Crowell 23:54
It’s, your dad’s clapping back at eight?

Lesley Logan 23:57
He did a clap at around 12-year-old so but I think like, the more you can, the more for parents of kids, the more you can instill a sense of of their self-love and then understanding what makes them uniquely special and not in an entitled way. It’s very different. But like in a if something happens to them, they can know, even with adults, I asked like what your uniqueness is like, what’s your, they have no clue.

Brad Crowell 24:26
They can’t answer the question. No, sure.

Lesley Logan 24:28
They can’t answer the question. So but like, you know, so I think that that’s really important.

Brad Crowell 24:31
Yeah.

Brad Crowell 24:44
All right. So finally, let’s talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Andyi Kay? She said, write a letter to your future self. And I thought because I’ve recently wrote a letter to what is the what is the terminology when you like, humanize something that isn’t human? I’m looking it up.

Lesley Logan 25:19
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo…

Brad Crowell 25:24
Oh, anthropo, anthropomorphism.

Lesley Logan 25:27
What is anthropomorphi-sism?

Lesley Logan 25:28
Anthropomorphism.

Lesley Logan 25:30
-pomorphism.

Brad Crowell 25:32
Anthropomorpha, anthropomorphize.

Lesley Logan 25:37
I think I’ve added a syllable in there. I did not

Brad Crowell 25:41
It could also be personification. I can’t decide now.

Lesley Logan 25:43
I think personification is a better word. Also, I could spell it. I can’t spell what you just did.

Brad Crowell 25:47
Anthropromo… anthropomorphism.

Lesley Logan 25:50
I want to see if our transcriber can spell it.

Brad Crowell 25:52
So anthropomorphism is a literary device that attributes human characteristics to non-human entities, like animals or plants. So personification, I don’t know what personification is.

Lesley Logan 26:03
Well, people know what that means. Just say you did that.

Brad Crowell 26:05
Yeah. So anyway, I anthropomorphized.

Lesley Logan 26:09
We’ll go with it.

Brad Crowell 26:10
An inanimate object and wrote a letter to it.

Lesley Logan 26:14
Well it was powerful fucking shit.

Brad Crowell 26:16
Yeah. And it was, it was like, it made me like, I really felt like the directions of it should have been pretend you’re 12 and go back and write a journal entry. And that’s really what I felt like I was doing at the age of 41. And writing a letter, an emotional letter, you know, to an inanimate object. But it was really beneficial. It was it was really intriguing, intriguing, self-reflection moment today. You know, and I like this idea of writi,ng a future a letter to your future self, because, you know, I also think that it most likely should be very supportive, it will end up being very supportive. You know, and then I know you shared your story about how it was very timely delivered. The delivery of it was very timely.

Lesley Logan 27:14
It was very timely. It came right after you dumped me for the second time.

Brad Crowell 27:17
Yeah. It’s true.

Lesley Logan 27:18
And my, what I wrote to myself, you know, the, like, eight months prior at this, like New Year’s Eve thing, consequently, at an event with a girl you used to date, but anyways.

Brad Crowell 27:30
Really? Oh. Okay.

Lesley Logan 27:33
Anyways, I didn’t know at the time, I wrote this letter. And when it came and I read it. It’s shocking, because I could actually read my own writing. It was all these uplifting things about how amazing I was as a single woman and all the things that I was proud of myself for doing. And you can, I promise you, if you write yourself a future, like a letter right now, for your future self one year from now, 10 years, whatever you want, I bet you you’ll write something that you would tell your best friend, it’d be so awesome. So definitely do this, because it’s really awesome. And apparently, you can go to futureme.org and they’ll like online send it to you. It’s great.

Brad Crowell 28:08
This was one of the coolest things. I had no idea this existed and I think it’s really cool futureme.org

Lesley Logan 28:14
Do you have to pay for it? Because maybe we just give it as a gift to all of our friends. This is like fucking great.

Brad Crowell 28:19
I don’t know. I don’t, I have no idea. I doubt it.

Lesley Logan 28:23
Well, anyways.

Brad Crowell 28:24
Doesn’t mention pricing anywhere.

Lesley Logan 28:26
Great then it’s probably free. What a cool concept. What an amazing thing. Just clever. Yeah.

Brad Crowell 28:31
So I dig that. What about you?

Lesley Logan 28:33
Okay, so she this is this goes back to what we were talking about with worthiness. And so I was like, biting my tongue enough to give one of my Be It Actions. But, write the 10 reasons to love yourself and do it for seven days. So then you have 70 reasons to love yourself. Share the challenge with someone else is what she said. But I challenge you to do this like when you’re in a state of now, probably ideally, not being bullied at this moment or not going through something sad because it’s much easier to do. And if you’re like, I don’t even know where to start. Because I know, I know some of you are so fucking hard on yourself that you’re like, there’s nothing to love about me. I’m just like everyone else. I’m just a tulip. Text 10 friends.

Brad Crowell 29:15
I’m just a taco.

Lesley Logan 29:17
Well, everyone loves a taco. I have a funny story about tacos. (inaudible) listening on our podcast for dating apps, she’s like, do not say that you love tacos. There’s nothing unique about that. Everyone loves a taco and I was like, I know. Everyone loves a taco. But text like 10 people in your life and just say, hey, it would really, can you, this sounds really weird and I’m a little embarrassed to ask, but it would really help me out if you could just text like a reason why you love me. If you text 10 friends, you’re gonna get 10 different and I bet you they’ll have more than one thing to say. And then copy and paste those in and then riff off of that. Because you know, especially when you’re having a hard, when you’re going through something that’s really hard, whether it being bullied or you’re bullying yourself, it’d be really hard, but then it just starts to flow. So I fucking love it. And I really want to know if you do either of these things.

Brad Crowell 30:06
ChatGPT why do I love myself?

Lesley Logan 30:11
Do not outsource this to ChatGPT. No. no.

Brad Crowell 30:15
Ten reasons.

Lesley Logan 30:16
Ten reasons. Did you put your personality in? I’m a 41-year-old man? Well, fuck it. You guys, no, text your friends and family members that you actually like. Not the family members who bully you or assholes. But like if you can’t come up with yourself, like, but this is a really good thing because I promise you, I promise you that you could come up with this if you’re if your friend asked you if your friend if you if I if I said Brad, what’s 10 things you love about me? He could tell them all right now.

Brad Crowell 30:48
Yeah.

Brad Crowell 30:49
And we’re not going to do it on air. I don’t want to hear it.

Brad Crowell 30:51
Oh, that was a question?

Lesley Logan 30:52
No. It was rhetorical.

Brad Crowell 30:54
Why do I love Lesley.

Lesley Logan 30:57
If ChatGPT knows why you love me, I’m gonna laugh so hard. But please do this. Because I actually do think it’s part of being it till you see it. You know, Brad and I have been working on our mindset this week, and really getting some clarity on some things. And it took everything in me not to like, say it because he kept saying be, do, have, be, do, have, be, do, have and I was like be it till you see it. That is literally it. But, if you, I know, it’s why we’re gonna have him on the podcast at some point. But you if you are wanting other people to love you, if you’re wanting to love you, you have to actually love yourself right now. And then not wait till you love yourself to love yourself. You have to like figure out the reasons that people love you. And so maybe you love yourself because you’re really good at cleaning your kitchen. Maybe you’re fucking amazing at your gardening. I don’t know, you look around your house, I bet your there’s some things that you’re like so proud of in your house. Those are things that are lovable about you. That’s a really great, unique skill you have.

Brad Crowell 31:54
Well, I can’t remember where we were talking about this. But you know, the idea of being proud of yourself. We’ve been told our entire lives that if we

Lesley Logan 32:08
Don’t brag.

Brad Crowell 32:09
Yeah, it’s, somehow it’s bragging. Or we’re being arrogant, if we’re proud of ourselves, and I actually don’t think that that’s correct. I think that it’s, I think that pride. I know, we heard pride cometh before the fall, all that you know, but I actually think pride, there’s a positive side of pride. It allows you to believe in yourself, you know, and it’s so funny that we how we’ve been trained, by the way we were raised, that we should never say anything good about ourselves ever to anyone. What the hell, you know, it just feeds into that cycle.

Lesley Logan 32:49
But then everyone says, oh, you’ve had an elevator pitch. What, like, it’s like don’t talk to strangers.

Brad Crowell 32:56
Or like write a bio. (inaudible) That’s why writing your bio is the hardest fucking thing ever because

Lesley Logan 32:59
I will cry every time.

Brad Crowell 33:00
Because we’re told not to talk about ourselves and not to be you know, and it’s, we’re supposed to like, list our accomplishments?

Lesley Logan 33:07
Actually, I’ve gotten much better because I did do it the other day. And I was just like, oh, this is really easy, because I’ve gotten so much better at listing my accomplishments. But like 10 years ago, eight years ago, actually, been like a couple years someone needed a bio from me, do you remember me crying in the dog park. I’m like, I can’t write it. I can’t do it. That’s not good enough.

Brad Crowell 33:25
I do remember. I became the official bio writer.

Lesley Logan 33:28
Yes. From now and forever. Um, yeah, it’s you know, weird to just be honest, like parents have taught you some weird things they taught you not to talk to strangers and then go knock on stranger’s doors and go trick or treating. And then like, you know, don’t don’t let anyone touch you. But go sit on Santa’s lap. Don’t brag, but make sure you have an elevator pitch. Make sure you stand out in an interview. Holy fuck you guys. Go write a letter. Do you love yourself? Yeah, all the things you love about you. And (inaudible) be proud.

Lesley Logan 33:28
I love this, the list 10 reasons to love yourself. I think that’s cool.

Lesley Logan 33:35
Yeah. I’m Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 33:38
And I’m Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 34:01
Thank you so much for listening to our podcast, you’re fucking amazing. I want to know how these tips are gonna work in your life. I want you to talk about it on the Be It Pod. Tag the Bloom Foundation and if you are not someone who likes to do that, then give them some money. If you’ve been bullied in your life and you don’t want anyone to go through that, check their foundation out and see how you can support them. Maybe you can be an ambassador for them. They have young girls who are ambassadors, if you have teenage daughters who have gone through something, they and they can go through these journals, you can get their journals on Amazon. So you don’t even have to go through one of their events to get these journals and the girls can go through the journals and my girls I mean, you too, so they’re for everybody and they’re beautiful and they’re really thought provoking. So you’re amazing as always, and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 34:43
Bye for now.

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Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

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Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘Bloom Podcast Network’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
It is produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velasquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.