Where is Fear
Ep. 80 with Lesley & Brad
“Opportunity meets preparation equals luck.”
In today’s episode, LL and Brad talk about the awareness and hardships of foster youth, where fear leads, and following your gut.
If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!
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In this episode you will learn about:
- Lesley’s experience with foster youth
- The path is not always linear to where you are headed
- Showing up for yourself and following your gut
- The intersection of opportunity and preparation
- Fear as a flashlight
- Profitable Pilates retreats: https://retreats.profitablepilates.com/lp-irl-retreat-waitlist
- The Gift of Fear: https://amzn.to/3v6dRv3
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.
Lesley Logan 0:45
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the eye opening convo, I had with Kelly Slattery and Marisa Polvino in our last episode about foster youth. If you haven’t listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us or you can listen to Brad sing again, (Brad: Oh, yeah) cuz I definitely did not leave enough time for them to edit that out and that’s fine. (Brad laughs) Okay, well, so as we speak, today is Mama Lisa’s Birthday. (Brad: Whaaat) Happy birthday Mama Lisa.
Brad Crowell 1:20
Happy birthday Mama Lisa. If you’re wondering who that is.
Lesley Logan 1:24
That’s my mom. (Brad: Oh, here we go.) And she goes by Mama Lisa to everybody. (Brad laughs) (Brad: Yeah) And it’s her, I mean shout it out because whatever. It’s her 60th (Brad: Whaaat?) birthday.
Brad Crowell 1:34
That’s a big deal.
Lesley Logan 1:35
I know. This year, we got her 60th, your 40th, my dad’s 70th. I’m the freaking youngest one here. (Brad: Yeah) Thank the Lord.
Brad Crowell 1:42
Yeah. (Lesley: Anyways) Those six months, whoo! (Brad and Lesley laughs)
Lesley Logan 1:48
Oh get planning on your birthday because I’m already planning mine. But um, anyways, Happy birthday Mama Lisa, we love you.
Brad Crowell 1:54
Lesley Logan 1:55
You too can wish her happy birthday. I actually don’t know her Instagram handle as we’re speaking but I don’t even know that she just does it. But she’s (Brad: I was gonna say, I don’t think…) on Instagram. She’s Lisa Friesen. And she will love it. She’ll love the shoutouts. If you want to just actually … to do this. If you want to just screenshot this podcast and put “Happy Birthday Mama Lisa” and tag me the @be_it_pod. I will send them to her. So let’s just do that. Let’s just do that. (Brad: That sounds fun.) Yeah. So we’ll just shower her on her birthday.
Brad Crowell 2:27
And now I’m on a mission. I’m gonna find it.
Lesley Logan 2:28
I know. I think it has numbers in it. It’s, you know. Okay, the other thing that’s happening right now is that we’re in the middle of the Profitable Pilates in real life, (Brad: Oh, yes) retreat.
Brad Crowell 2:41
It’s happening all around us (Lesley: Oh, my God.) this moment.
Lesley Logan 2:44
Bassness. It’s so freakin’ awesome. (Brad: I think, it’s technically badassery.) It is badassery. (Brad laughs) I love it. I love it. I’m into it. So everyone arrived yesterday and we are in deep and workshops today. (Brad: Oh yeah) And, you also you too, can actually snag one of the last few spots left because we opened up the doors for the next in real life business retreat.
Brad Crowell 3:08
That’s right. If you are feeling all the FOMO right now A. (Lesley: of course you are) should be, (Lesley and Brad laughs) B. get yourself to the next retreat that we are going to host here in Vegas, in the fall.
Lesley Logan 3:24
Yeah. We’re in the fall, oh my gosh, the weather and the fall. It’s like the best days of summer wherever you are minus humidity if you’re from the south and so y’all are welcome we actually rent out Airbnb’s for y’all. We take care all of it. You just have to get yourself on a plane, get your booty here and we have self care and all and that is involved with all community. And all the tactics that actually are what you need to grow your business. (Brad: Oh yeah) And and I actually love that we’re talking about this on this episode because it goes with some of my talking points you know when we get to them you’ll hear why. But the reality is is like you cannot, like you can absorb all you want on a podcast (thank you so much) on on social media. You can take all the courses but there is something very special unique about getting in person down and dirty into your business with other people doing the exact same thing. Brad and I have made sure we’ve done in person business stuff. Gosh, since 2018 and (Brad: Yeah) it’s changed our world. So anyways, profitablepilates.com/retreats.
Brad Crowell 4:29
Yeah, (Lesley: So all details are there) just just make the deposit and lock in your spot. (Lesley: Yeah) Don’t wait because the last one filled up in literally a week.
Lesley Logan 4:37
It sold out in a week. Mm-hmm. Yeah, did. Oh, my God, I’m frickin’ I’m in love with my week right now. Okay, so babe (Brad laughs) you have a question?
Brad Crowell 4:46
Yeah. Okay. So, I decided that thank you for submitting your questions. But I decided to push everybody else off a week, because I have a question for Lesley. (Lesley: Okay) And, I kind of this question comes from the convo that we had in the last episode, where we were speaking with Kelly and Marisa. And something I didn’t know about you was that you have a big heart for foster youth. And, you know, the foster care program. You have some experience with that. And when we were first talking with the ladies, a couple months back, that was news to me. (Lesley: Oh, I know, you had no idea.) Yeah. (Lesley: Okay) So I wanted to ask you to share your story and your experience.
Lesley Logan 5:41
So y’all we were, we were just having a call with Kelly. I didn’t actually know we were gonna have this call. We’re on the road and Brad’s like, “We have a meeting with, you know, this company.” And I was like, “Okay,” I was actually not feeling super hot. And I was, we’re even driving for a week at that point. And I hadn’t showered for quite a few days. So anyways, we get on the call. And I’m really excited because once Kelly started talking, I frickin’ obviously, as you heard, fell in love with her and Marisa and their mission. And anyways, as you heard on the podcast, we were looking for particularly a retreat or a treat. Clearly, I got retreats in my mind, were looking for a charity that had to do with, you know, climate change and things like that for OPC. And I…
Brad Crowell 6:22
I’m like, super passionate about plastic waste. (Lesley: Yeah) I can’t deal with it. (Lesley: He can’t deal.) It makes me like, it frustrates me beyond, I can’t understand how much plastic waste we create as a so… a so… (Lesley: society) society. (Lesley: Yeah, that’s a lot of whistling there.) It frustrates me. Yeah. shh shh shh. I know.
Lesley Logan 6:40
I hijacked the charitable organization at that moment because to be honest, I as we’re talking with Kelly and Marisa and their mission on this planet, and what they’re doing with Barely Canadian. I said, “Oh, I’m obsessed with foster care.” I’m I like, I’m really truly like, obsessed with it. And so, so what I did was, I just said, “We’re gonna donate this year’s OPC donations to one of your organizations.” And Brad was like, “What?” And I was like, “Well, I grew up with the fos… with foster care in my life. Well, here’s what happened. So growing up as a kid, I, my parents, my dad worked for the post office, everyone. So the the funny joke growing up was, I was, my father was the mailman because I guess like back in the 80s. The joke was like, “if the baby didn’t look like the dad, then it must have been the mailman.” I don’t know, weird jokes, anyways. But my dad was mailman. And one of his co workers from, you know, like, mail times was this guy and his wife who had three girls and they’re really young. And they had this huge property, huge massive property. And they had this big house, all these spaces, and their daughters were getting older, and they like missed having young kids. And so they became foster parents. (Brad: Hmm) So we would go to their house because either their daughters would babysit us or we would go to their house. And they had all these kids all the time, all the time. And like there was cribs with babies, and there was kids of all ages. And I just grew up knowing about foster care and foster youth and like that these kids were there because either their parents were going through some hard times, or like they really were careful to make sure that I treated these kids as like, they are just part of the family. (Brad: Yeah) And my parents tried to be foster parents, but we didn’t have an extra room for fos… the foster kids. So we couldn’t be foster parents. (Brad: Gotcha) So my parents actually took in teenagers who were kicked out of their parents house, because… (Brad: Oh, my parents did the same.) Were they pregnant because my mom… (Brad: No, no) (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 7:59
They were, they were usually guys.
Lesley Logan 8:56
Oh, yeah, no, ours were pregnant. And I think each time when they got taken back home because their parents finally let them in. My mom was sad because she loved the babies. But (Lesley laughs) anyways, anyways, that’s another story. So I, but what’s funny is I grew up lining my dolls up and adopting them I was never the mom, I would just adopt like I just thought that’s what you did like it’s just normal thing everyone does babies. And um, so anyways, I just have this passion for people who work with the foster care system because it is, look it is, it’s like, it’s like, it fostering dogs has more like win (Brad: support), more support (Brad: Yeah) and also like just more, there’s just more out of it like when you foster kids and youth, it’s it’s actually like really freakin’ hard because there’s so much trauma that comes from it. Kids are getting pe… they get bounced around. (Brad: Yeah) And it’s just really …
Brad Crowell 10:03
Like establishing trust is not even impossible, I mean.
Lesley Logan 10:06
And the people who are foster care parents? Foster, (Brad: Yeah) whatever, (Brad: foster parents) yeah, they, they themselves are a special unique person, because they’re less likely to be business owners or people who are working 40 hours a week and more like people who have the ability and have the time. But maybe it’s just, it’s just hard. So anyways, here’s the deal, what I saw was, babies get adopted all the time. And when the kids are over five years old, they’re not getting adopted. (Brad: Right) And I saw this with as a child, because, you know, I would go over there and like the babies would disappear but the older children didn’t. And my parents’ friends would actually ended up adopting several of these adult children, and that that they were allowed to adopt. And that’s beautiful and that’s amazing. But they couldn’t adopt every one of them. And also, like, I never was the person who is like, I’m going to like, go and have kids in my life. But what I do see is, are at least in this particular country that we currently live in. The as we talked about in the episode last week, the majority of the homeless population is because of foster care systems. So these 18 year olds, they they age out whether or not they’re still in school or not. Can you just imagine, like, imagine how you were at 18?
Brad Crowell 11:30
I just want to clarify, I don’t, don’t, I don’t know if majority is the right…
Lesley Logan 11:34
Yeah, they said (Brad: were) over 50%. (Brad: They said over 50%?) Yeah. Marisa is very in on this. (Brad: Oh) Yeah. (Brad: Well, the that’s…) (Dog bark) 30% of the homeless is, is from the foster care system.
Brad Crowell 11:45
We actually met a whole bunch of kids who lived in the park near where we lived in LA, (Lesley: Yeah) who, now that I’m aware of this statistic (Dog bark) makes me wonder if they were also part of the foster system.
Lesley Logan 12:00
Yeah, it’s like, it’s a really sad thing because like, I don’t even know how you fix the problem. So what all these different charities that are working with, you know, foster care and foster youth and helping out with adoptions. They’re really trying to do the best they can to, to work within what the system is. And I I. So I am passionate about it, because yes, we lived in LA with lots of homeless people. And they’re homeless for a variety of reasons. And then I grew up with this. And so I, I just see, like, how, how can we help the future adults in this world have love, support and possibility. And if you grow up, you know, Tiffany Haddish, she also was in the foster care system. And she has a charity where you actually give your used suitcases to (Brad: Yeah) to foster kids because they move around so much. And they most of their clothes get put in trash bags. And her whole idea is like, if your clo… if you are moving with a trash bag, then what else are you supposed to think about yourself? And like having a suitcase (Brad: totally) makes you like, like, that is (Brad: a human) a human being. (Brad: Yeah) And so anyways, like, (Brad: totally) y’all, I teach Pilates, I teach business. If I didn’t do any of this, I clearly I have a thing for the kids in Cambodia and for the and the youth here that don’t have that, that may not see the light at the end of the tunnel. They may not see possibility that I was given. I was told if I work really hard, I can have whatever I wanted. (Brad: Sure) But that’s also because like, even when I was homeless, I wasn’t homeless, you know. And these kids, if they’re homeless, we’re talking, they’re homeless. And so I just this is why I’m very passionate about it. I’m freaking obsessed with Barely Canadian, I’m obsessed with Echoes of Hope and, and Kidsave and what they’re doing. And if, if, if … watch out (Lesley laughs) if I end up getting involved too much, I may just be like, “Oh, who else is teaching?” (Lesley and Brad laughs) But anyways, this is my thing. And while we currently are not fostering or adopting, I don’t think it’s outside of the realm of possibility for us, but for right now. We’ll take our our extra income and give it to those who can use it to help these kids.
Brad Crowell 14:28
Yeah. Well, thanks for sharing that. Definitely …
Lesley Logan 14:32
It’s a long story. Sorry, everyone, but that’s the question. (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 14:35
No apology needed. Not at all. Yeah. Okay. Now let’s talk about Kelly Slattery and Marisa Polvino. (Lesley: Aren’t they the coolest duo?) Yeah, they’re really, they’re really …
Lesley Logan 14:48
I can’t wait. Also, Marisa posted some tennis shoes. And she’s like, “Yeah, these are up my alley.” (Brad laughs) And I was like, “Oh, well, me too.” So we are, so amazing how like attracts like.
Brad Crowell 14:59
So, a connector, a Canadian and a creator. Kelly Slattery is a former film producer, actor, singer, singer songwriter, oh sorry songwriter and singer, a foster care advocate with a heart for foster youth who are aging out of the system. Kelly founded Barely Canadian with her two foster kids. Barely Canadian is a social enterprise that donates 20% of proceeds to nonprofits that support foster youth. (Lesley: Yeah) And Marisa Polvino is a passionate film producer and founder of Straight Up Impact. A content agency that creates thought provoking work, works, including feature length films, to drive positive social change. Partnering with Barely Canadian, Marisa is also dedicated to showcasing the systemic issues in the foster care system. And I think she even referenced it on the episode. She’s working on a documentary about it right now.
Lesley Logan 15:55
Yeah. So I mean, I mean, obviously, these two women knew each other. And …
Brad Crowell 16:00
Yeah, they’ve known each other for a long time. (Lesley: And it’s …) And Kelly said that she started it. And Marisa was like, “Why am I not involved?”
Lesley Logan 16:07
Yeah, I love it so much. And I hope that like you’re inspired by that in your own way. But um, I think it’s so interesting, because if you look at their bios, you might not even expect them to be doing this, because like, they’re singer songwriters in the industry. (Brad: Sure) And so I challenge you listening to this, like you… you don’t have to, like have gone a certain linear path that leads you down this road. Like a road to doing something that you are passionate about, like, you didn’t even know, I was like (Lesley laughs) that I wanted to support this. And we found a way to, to weave it into the thing that we already are an existing and doing and so I just love what they’re doing. I love how they’re using their connections, their their skill sets, and, and the power of the community that they’ve already cultivated. And then they’re learning along the way like this inspiring AF.
Brad Crowell 17:01
So it’s, it’s really cool. I mean, I if you go back and you look at Barely Canadian, I thought it was really neat to see her kids like so they started it because they wanted to create an example for their two foster kids. And she and her husband were talking about and they’re like, “What if we started a business that they could participate in, to show them that we don’t necessarily have it all together, either. We’re still learning we’re growing, we’re figuring it out.” And what a better way, then to create something that they can get excited about and start to see actual impact through the way that the company is growing, and then working and donating and supporting these other organizations. So I thought that was brilliant.
Lesley Logan 17:52
Yeah, I really do love it. And I love their mission behind it because obviously, she is working, she’s adopted one and they’re working on adopting the other. (Brad: Yeah, exactly.) Yeah. So that’s really cool. (Brad: They both in their teens.) What we didn’t get to talk to about which we’ll bring them back for another episode is their fosterpreneur thing. And I share this with you because you all if you’re listening to this, and you want to make an impact. Like, if you can help teach people. It’s that whole cliche, is it a cliche? Is it a meme? It’s like, if you if you teach a person a fish then they can eat forever, like the thing? (Brad: Oh …) What’s the thing like the it’s …
Brad Crowell 18:31
Hold on. Give a fish versus teach them to fish.
Lesley Logan 18:34
Yeah to give them the fish they eat for an evening, if you teach them fish they eat forever. So it… they all can look it up. Anyways, um, they know what I’m talking about. To be honest. It’s been around.
Brad Crowell 18:43
If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. (Lesley: Yeah) If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. (Lelsey: Yeah, so…) I guess we’ll call that a parable. (Lesley: A parable) I don’t actually know what it is.
Lesley Logan 18:53
Yeah, it’s like ASAP stables. So um, so what I loved about the fosterpreneur thing, and oh my gosh, if, like when we’re involved, watch out. Like, (Lesley laughs) I feel like I’m so excited about this because (Brad laughs) what I do love about it is like, I can only imagine if I knew how to run a business 15 years ago, where I would be (Brad: Right) today …
Brad Crowell 19:16
At 15 or whatever. (Lesley: Yeah …) I don’t know how old their kids are but yes.
Lesley Logan 19:20
Yeah. But if I, but when I was a teenager, I didn’t even know you could work for yourself. I lived in a town where you worked for other people. (Brad: Sure) And you had to ask for a raise that was 25 cents an hour. And so I didn’t know that you could actually work for yourself. And I love about this fosterpreneur thing is like let’s just say these, these kids don’t end up with parents. Right? This program really does teach them how they can create their own business and what what Kelly is doing with her with her kids is showing them this because you know what the other the other side of the coin is like where the world is going is the more, you, they is that people who have ideas that are going to leave this world. If you have ideas, and so I just love it so much. I’m so into it. So anyways, one of the other things that they said, obviously I’m in love with them, they’re my new best friends. Is Kelly mentioned, like learning as you go and learning with others. And I love this because perfect is boring. You don’t have to have all of the I’s dotted the T’s crossed before you hit go. Like you. Sometimes just like starting the engine, you’re gonna get some ideas, and you’re gonna learn from your mistakes. And like, it’s better to do that than like, wait, wait until you know everything because you’re not going to know everything. There’s all the way technology changes on a daily basis, the way that social media (Brad: Yeah) changes every frickin’ week. You know, it’s like get started and then the learning with others. It’s like being in community like, she has Marisa and then they’re and they’re working, we’re collaborating together.
Brad Crowell 20:59
Well, I mean, it goes right back to the kids. Learning as you go and learning (Lesley: Yeah) with others. Right? So she’s learning and with her kids and setting an example for them.
Lesley Logan 21:08
Well, it’s an example that like, you don’t have to have all the answers to get started. (Brad: Right) And I, gosh, can you imagine? Like, what if that was what you were told when you’re a kid? If that was … (Lesley laughs) (Brad: It’s pretty powerful.) I love it so much. What did you love that she said or they said? (Brad: So …) This our first duet.
Brad Crowell 21:24
Yeah. (Lesley: It’s a they) Is it? Yeah, I think it is.
Lesley Logan 21:27
Mm-hmm. We (Brad: Alright) we have a threesome coming on. But … (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Trouble, trouble.)
Brad Crowell 21:31
I really loved when Marisa was talking about showing up for yourself and following your gut. And I thought, I thought that this fit in totally with, you know, be it till you see it. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) Because I actually, you know, it made me what it made me think about was my coach who told me, “Brad, you are using language that is non committal. And you’re not even committing to yourself.”
Lesley Logan 22:09
Oh, who said that?
Brad Crowell 22:11
Adrian said that. (Lesley: Oh) My coach.
Lesley Logan 22:14
When is Adrian coming on the pod?
Brad Crowell 22:16
Yeah, great question. Yeah. We’re gonna have to, we’ll have to get him in. But he, you know, show up for yourself and follow your gut. And the show up for yourself part really, like struck a chord with me, because, you know, what is showing up for yourself mean? It sounds good. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) But like, what does it mean? Right? And, and that’s, I think that we, we make a commitment to our jobs, we’ll make a commitment to our kids, our families our whatever, that kind of stuff. But then like, when it comes to making the commitment to, to Brad, to me, I’ve just kind of like, “Well, that’s all good, whatever, like, I don’t really need to get up and do my workout.” I don’t really need to, you know, whatever. Like I said, I’d eat healthy, but I’m only letting down myself. So it’s all good. You know, and, and Adrian really challenged me on that because my, my, the the lack of boundaries that I was setting for myself was actually spilling over into the rest of my life without me even realizing it.
Lesley Logan 23:25
Oh, yeah because you (Brad: Yeah) can’t you can, we all can feel like we can compartmentalize, but you actually can’t. (Brad: you know … well, yeah) You’re the same person, everybody the same.
Brad Crowell 23:34
So so for me, it was deadlines, right. I was like, not really committing to a deadline. And then that meant when with the team, I was not holding the team to deadlines, either. And I didn’t actually realize that, that that was happening. So anyway, showupping, show up for yourself and follow your gut. So the second half of that, following your gut, that’s interesting, you know, there’s a lot of intuition there. And there’s a lot of like, you know, being in tune with your, yourself, your body. But there is, we have these notions that just happen to us, like, “Do I trust this person? Or do I not trust this person?” And even though you know, like, we have the mental capacity to override our gut, because of the way we think.
Lesley Logan 24:25
Well, logical. (Brad: Right. Yeah) That’s not what you’re supposed to do, though. (Brad: No) It’s intuition.
Brad Crowell 24:29
Yeah. And following your gut, you know, it’s, it’s …
Lesley Logan 24:34
We quoted this book already, “The Gift of Fear.” We quoted it like two episodes ago, y’all frickin’ read the book …
Brad Crowell 24:39
I was, I was gonna talk about, I was gonna talk about our dogs.
Lesley Logan 24:42
Oh, tell me about the dogs. How amazing they are at not being great. (Brad and Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 24:47
Yeah, about how many times they’ve already barked in this episode a lot. (Lesley: This episode, specifically.) No, like I think that it’s a common you know, preconception that well, dogs know, when a person’s trustworthy or not (Lesley: Mm-hmm) No, they that’s like the I would say that that’s what most people would, would say. Right? (Lesley: Yeah) And I think that we also know when a person is trustworthy or not.
Lesley Logan 24:48
We do. This, so in the in, so the guy who wrote the book – The Gift of Fear, he literally did an interview saying, “Your dog barks that person because you don’t trust that person.”
Brad Crowell 25:25
Right? So it’s actually the dog reflecting you. (Lesley: Yeah) You’re just aren’t in tune with you.
Lesley Logan 25:30
No, cuz you’re (Brad: Yeah) using logic to go, “Oh, if I don’t get an elevator with this person, they’re gonna think that I’m being judgmental.” No, you didn’t like that person. There’s something in you that was like, “Hmm, this is not a good person.” And now you’re trying to like justify, like, “I don’t want to be mean. And I want to be a bevers…” Get in a different elevator. Your dog doesn’t like that you don’t like that person. (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 25:51
Right. Yeah. Yeah, totally. (Lesley: Yeah) Anyway, I thought these two things were incredibly profound. And she had just said them in one sentence, “Show up for yourself and follow your gut.” And I was like, “Let’s dig in.”
Lesley Logan 26:06
Let’s dig in. And also like, I would love to know what that means for you. If you’re listening to this. I mean, I love these I think just that can be, you can make your own personal definition of that. And I hope that you all do. Okay, (Brad: Yeah) BE IT action items.
Brad Crowell 26:18
Alright, so finally, let’s talk about the BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from our convo (Lesley: I know cuz you were on the episode.) with Kelly and Marisa? Yeah, by the way, if you didn’t see me on the episode, don’t worry. I was still there.
Lesley Logan 26:34
But if you’re listening to the episode, you did hear him. So (Brad: Yes) there you go. And if you’re watching, you still heard him you just watch someone else’s face. (Brad: Yeah) (Lesley laughs) Okay, what did you like? (Brad: Yeah) What did you get?
Brad Crowell 26:45
So you know, Kelly had a quote at the end that she attributed, attributes to her dad and I thought it was amazing. And he said the harder you work, the luckier you get. (Lesley: Yeah) And I love this for I think that there’s like this… First off, I don’t want to promote working like 80 hours a week kind of thing. That’s not what I, that’s not what this is but… (Lesley: No, quality over quantity. But…) Yeah, I think there’s an intention about moving forward and you know, it allows you to be prepared for when the iron is hot. Right? And and when you are on your game and focused and really moving the ball forward and an opportunity comes across your plate… (Lesley: Well, isn’t that what luck is…) Right? You’re you’re prepared (Lesley: opportunity meets preparation) you’re you’re ready for taking advantage of that. (Lesley: Yeah) You know and then yeah becomes you know, that’s the luck (Lesley: Yeah) kind of thing.
Lesley Logan 27:47
Opportunity meets preparation equals luck. (Brad: Yeah) And I love this quote by her dad. I don’t know why I’m seeing like the scenes of like, you know, the babe… and like league of their own but I am. (Lesley laughs) No and I think it’s like, I think a lot of people are waiting for the right opportunity to put in the work and the reality is is that like showing (Brad: Yes) up (Brad: that’s exactly) and doing the best you can.
Brad Crowell 28:18
I will, I will work hard when the right thing comes around.
Lesley Logan 28:21
When the right thing comes around. “Well when this happens then I’ll actually put the work in. Well when this happens then I’ll do this. Well when this “(Brad: Right) Wow, you’re gonna wait for a frickin’ long time (Brad: Yeah) and what I can tell you is like, we are very intentional, we have goals, we have a calendar, we have a launch calendar we have all these things and yes, dates get moved, things get shifted, new surprises come in, Brad didn’t even know that I was interested in foster care. There’s divine opportunities that happen. But if you’re just waiting until hmm someone’s gonna call you, someone’s gonna suggest something, you’re like, you all be waiting for a long time.
Brad Crowell 28:56
Or or it’s like we end up waiting for like the “right time” to do the thing whatever the thing is, right? So start a business, start a family, quit your job. (Lesley: You know what?) It could change, move, like all these things there’s never the right time.
Lesley Logan 29:13
You know there is not and I tell you as every one of my friends who had a baby never got pregnant when they are expecting to (Brad: Sure) and then somehow figured it out. (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 29:21
Right. So yeah, yeah.
Lesley Logan 29:24
So anyways, I think I just really love that quote from her dad. (Brad: Yeah) Kelly’s Dad, thanks so much. (Brad: Yeah) And again, I do agree that it’s not that you’re working 80 hours a week or 100 hours a week. It’s just that you, you put in legitimate effort towards what you want and and and it will, it will absolutely like luck will happen because opportunity meets preparation and boom, you’re in the intersection. (Brad: Yeah) You don’t want to be one block behind when that happens. You’re gonna be pissed. Maybe honking my horn for yourself. (Brad laughs)
Brad Crowell 30:00
At yourself. (Lesley: Yeah. Okay …) All right, what about you?
Lesley Logan 30:03
Don’t let fear guide you. So I think fear is like a flashlight. It is showing you actually like, oh, this scares you. And on the other side of the sphere is like what you really want. And it’s a place, it’s like an opportunity to do some healing, some explorations, some curiosity around you. But it’s not the guide, because if it guides you, you’re just gonna stay in your comfort zone. But guess what, we’ve talked about this before your comfort zone gets smaller, actually gets smaller, like you become, like you become less okay with things. You know, because the that you were okay with before because like, the, the earth, momentum doesn’t stop, the earth inertia doesn’t stop. So everything is expanding, expanding, expanding. And so what happens is because you’re in this comfort zone, the world is expanding, and you, yours is getting smaller, because it’s been big …
Brad Crowell 31:02
Or even if yours is staying the same, it’s actually getting smaller, (Lesley: Yeah) because the world is expanding.
Lesley Logan 31:07
Thank you, thank you for making that shorter, and more concise. (Lesley laughs) So anyways, I just, you know, there’s five fears that Brad and I learned about from a life coach we loved, which is there’s a fear of success, fear of responsibility, fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of failure. And pretty much every fear you have falls into one of those five. And if you can actually identify the fear, like literally go, “I’m having a fear of success right now”. Then A, it actually like takes like literally goes like it just the power is taken away from the fear, it can’t guide you. And therefore you can get curious, you can explore, it can be the flashlight of where you need to work on things, and also what you actually care about, like what you care about, right? And then you can go on the other side of this wall of fear is everything I’ve wanted. So don’t want to guide you because it’s taking you away from what you want.
Brad Crowell 32:02
Well, I was just looking that up. Can you go down those five again?
Lesley Logan 32:08
Yeah, I think it’s from Mike Goodman. I want to say it’s Mike Goodman. Chris Goodman? We have notes on this is from 2019. (Lesley laughs) Okay, here they are. The five fears are…
Brad Crowell 32:22
Five primal fears.
Lesley Logan 32:23
The five fears are – the fear of success, the fear of failure, the fear of, of responsibility. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear or responsibility, fear of rejection, (Brad: rejection) fear of loss
Brad Crowell 32:40
and fear of loss. Yep.
Lesley Logan 32:42
I really do think his name was Chris Goodman, or Mike Goodman. And sorry, Mr. Goodman for confusing your name. (Lesley laughs) But we’re so grateful for you.
Brad Crowell 32:52
Maybe Ken Goodman?
Lesley Logan 32:53
No, no, no, (Brad: no), no, no, no.
Brad Crowell 32:57
Anyway, the … I feel like, what this made me think of …
Lesley Logan 33:02
His name is Chris Goodman. (Brad: Chris Goodman) Chris Goodman, hello. It’s not my fear. It’s not my mind. It’s the fear and the mind from Chris Goodman. “Everyone is processing the thought and fear according to their framework” as another quote from him. We need to have him on, let’s call him up. (Brad: We’re gonna do it.) But you should ask yourself, “Do I have a fear of failure? Do I have a fear of success? Do I have a fear of responsibility? Do I have a fear of rejection? Do I have a fear of loss? If I do this next step? Am I going to blank insert the fear. (Brad: Hmm) So if I do this, am I going to be afraid of what?” And so that was like such an eye opening thing because I had no idea and a fear of success. Like who does that? Who has a fear of success? Who has a fear? Me this one, right here. And so, so but some people have a fear responsibility. So figure out what your fears are. We’ll get Chris on to explain this all to you because clearly, it’s not our information. (Lesley laughs) Well, there’s being it till we see on the spirit coaching thing, but, I’m really, I just love it. So.
Brad Crowell 34:07
Lesley Logan 34:08
I’m Lesley Logan.
Brad Crowell 34:09
And I’m Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 34:10
Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful that you’re here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Which fear do you have? How are Kelly and Marisa story inspiring you to do something that you have no idea how it’s going to work out? (Brad: Yeah) Let us know by sending a DM to the pod on Instagram, and we’ll catch you on the next episode.
Brad Crowell 34:28
Bye for now.
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.
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