How to Release
Ep. 76 with Lesley & Brad
“Movement is how trauma is released from the body.”
What has your body been trying to tell you? Wisdom from Bree Gordon inspires LL and Brad to discuss trauma informed care, what your body holds onto, and how to deal with disappointment.
If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!
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In this episode you will learn about:
- Recognizing and dealing with discouragement
- The expectation hangover
- Becoming trauma-informed
- How movement releases trauma
- What’s staying with you?
- Filling your cup first, so you can show up for others
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.
Lesley Logan 0:45
Hello, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co host in life, Brad and I are going into dig to the beautiful convo I have … (Brad: beautiful) I have with Bree Gordon in our last episode. It was really pretty. She’s amazing. If you haven’t yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. (Brad: Do it.) Alright, um, I’m so grateful for like random connections, Bree is someone I, we are in a group together and I don’t participate in the group very much. (Brad laughs) And that’s not because a group isn’t amazing, it’s just, there’s only so much time in the day and I give myself full permission to not engage. And but I did reach out and say, “Hey, I would love to share my podcast.” And she’s like, “Oh, I have a podcast.” And I never would have met her and she is just kicking butt. Just being herself, being it till she sees it. And she had like a pandemic baby and all these things. Anyways, I (Brad: Yeah) like, what the reason I’m sharing this is y’all, you never know who you’re going to meet when you just say … raise your hand, “Hi, I could use some help here.” And she and I had the most amazing conversation probably when the best conversations I’ve ever had on a podcast ever, on her podcast… (Brad: Her pod. Sure.) Yeah, The Mindful Mentor. (Brad: Yeah) Please listen to it. It is not, you also have to listen to mine. I mean, it’s amazing that you can listen to other people’s. But I’m just so grateful that I get to know this person and who she is. So, I can’t wait to dag, dig in.
Brad Crowell 2:15
Well, I was, I was shocked when she said she was in her early 30s. Because the amount of well like wisdom that she was speaking didn’t, I felt like she was, you know, far, far (Brad laughs) older (Lesley: This is not …) and has a lot more life experience in that.
Lesley Logan 2:34
This is not her first time here. (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 2:36
Well, I, also, we found out at the end that she was a radio host and I was like, “Oh, I get it now.” (Lesley: Yeah, yeah) Cuz like she’s just so polished on on the mic. And it was like and, and also she knows what she’s talking about. So combine those together. I was like, (Lesley: I know) “Tell me more.”
Lesley Logan 2:51
I know she I don’t think she said like one time, “I need to take a journalist class.” Where they like (Brad and Lesley: um, um, like, like um) Okay, anyways, (Brad laughs) here’s the deal, y’all, Brad and I are super stoked, because in three days, we are doing our first and very necessary, very planned out, very much like this is the time, Full Body in 15. And when I say “we” I mean, actually, we, Brad is totally going to do this class because I created… Look, here’s the deal even listen to the ads and you’re gonna hear more. I need you at this event. If you have ever thought about doing Pilates, if you’ve ever thought you’re not good enough for Pilates, if you’ve ever thought. “I just don’t understand it,” if you are like trying to get it, if you are just even curious on how to spell it. I want you at this program. It starts on the 20th. We are going to kick off, there are replays. Zero excuses, I don’t want to hear them. I’m going to teach you a 15 minute workout. That’s your full body, you’re going to strengthen and get stretch between aka mobility, aka injury prevention. (Brad: Yeah, and feeling better.) And feeling better. I’m also going to teach you how to teach yourself the exercises. I know, I know I’m giving it away. Because the reality is, is I want you to have this particular cross training in your life. It is going to make everything you already do better. (Brad: Yeah) Which means “doing life better,” which is what we’re all about. It is a week long program because we’re gonna meet up together three times live. And yes, there are replays and by the end of the week, you will have a 15 minute workout that you can confidently do (Brad: Yeah) on your own wherever you are. Before and after your favorite workout or on the days when all you have is 15 minutes. So I’m excited …
Brad Crowell 4:31
For me this is really cool because I’m like, I’m the guy who asks a hundred questions before actually doing a move. Right? (Lesley: Yeah) Like with in yoga, befo… the reason that I was willing to get like dive headfirst into yoga is because I didn’t dive headfirst into yoga. (Brad laughs) I took a class with a 75 year old like “Yogi lady” who was not doing any of the fancy stuff and all I did the whole time was ask her a hundred questions about, “How do you do triangle? And what are muscles should I be using and all that kind of stuff.” If you are that kind of a person like me, then this Full Body in 15 is going to be perfect for you. Because we’re going to break down the exercises, so that you can understand why you’re doing what when, where all the things, how they connect together, what muscles you’re supposed to be doing, so that you’re not actually just straight up hurting yourself. Like right now, I’m actually taking an intro to barbell class here in Vegas, you know, at a local studio. And it’s important because especially with weights, like, you could really hurt yourself. And so it’s 100% necessary to take a class like that. But I feel like we skip that stage when we’re jumping into (Lesley: Yeah) other modalities. And you know, you can totally hurt yourself doing anything. So this is a great place to get started.
Lesley Logan 5:46
Well, and also we tend to think that intro or beginner means easy. (Brad: Oh, yeah, not so much.) It’s, here’s the thing, if you’re doing it, right, Pilates is always going to be a little challenging, and also going to meet you where you are. And so yes, this is a class for a newbie. But it doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s actually going to literally change the form of your running. It’s going to make your weight training better. (Brad: Yeah) For all of you who are doing deadlifts and not reaching through your heels because what and you have to like buy special shoes or do a certain thing. I don’t even have to think about it. I don’t even. I take intro every other week. (Lesley laughs) I like to, I like to moonlight in my intro classes and I, but I promise you like the reason I can, on, without having deadlifted in… Since before the pandemic, I deadlift of more than my body weight because Pilates helps me work from my core out first. And so I want you at this. So go to onlinepilatesclasses.com/fullbodyin15. That is Full Body i n 1 5. Okay, what is our audience question, my love?
Brad Crowell 6:57
Okay, we got a great question from a very, very, very sweet woman. And she asked, “What do you do when you’re discouraged?”
Lesley Logan 7:09
Yeah, and I just… how brave to ask that question because you wouldn’t ask that question unless you were feeling that way. (Brad: Right) And I just think like the vulnerability that requires that question is to be honored. And I wish we all lived our lives that way. And so first of all, I’m just so grateful for this question. And second of all, first of all, I don’t know, second of all, first, like, can you just pat yourself on the back for I understand that you are in that spot? (Brad: Yeah) So few people actually are aware of how they’re feeling. (Brad: Yeah) Like at all and, and also like, they try to excuse the thing away, and so instead of feeling discouraged, you’re like, “Well, I’m just tired. Well, I’m just overworked.”
Brad Crowell 7:50
Well, I think they’re feeling it, but they’re not like, they’re not like taking a step back and being like, “Oh, I’m angry now. Why am I angry?” (Lesley: Yeah) They’re just like, “angry.” (Lesley: Yeah) The technical term.
Lesley Logan 8:01
Yeah. And I I feel like, I feel like what how you handle discouragement? Is that a word? Okay, great. (Brad: Hit the word.) (Brad and Lesley laughs) I think that, A it takes time, and like, screwing up how you feel when you’re discouraged, like, I’m sure when you’re younger, and you’re discouraged, you like throw things at a wall, you know, you get upset. And as you get older, you understand that you can’t just like scream in the in the ethers. But if you can do it, I think you’ll feel better. (Lesley laughs) I think it’s like, important to let the feelings out. And then the other thing is like, I think you have to take a step back, like a 30,000 foot view. (Brad: hmm) Why are you doing what you’re doing? Because if you can go back to the “why” then the discouragement is more of an obstacle than it is like a 50 pound weight, like pushing you down a hill. (Brad: Right) You know what I mean? Like, I think if you, if you can go back to why.
Brad Crowell 9:01
That’s, that’s really interesting to think about it as like, the discouragement could be something that you can navigate around instead of something you have to carry with you.
Lesley Logan 9:10
Yeah. Wow, thanks for saying that. I don’t, I didn’t even know that’s what I was saying. Um, I’m having an outer body experience everyone. No, but I think like, if you can go back to your why you can actually see the discouragement and you’ll actually either navigate around it, instead of carrying it or you’ll actually be able to see like, are you even discouraged about the right thing? Like what you’re discouraged about does have anything to do with your purpose on this planet? With why you do, what you do? (Brad: sure) Or is it just the fixation on something you can control or you thought you could and you can’t and so you’re like, “I’m discouraged.”
Brad Crowell 9:46
Right. The problem may be like one level above what has, you know, caused the immediate discouragement? (Lesley: Yeah) And so it’s almost like you’re getting discouraged over the symptom rather than the root.
Lesley Logan 10:00
Brilliant. Wow, we are just making magic together.
Brad Crowell 10:03
Lesley Logan 10:04
So, so I, I think, what do I do when I’m discouraged? I really do have to take a step back. So 30,000 foot view, look at it. Is the thing I’m discouraged about having anything to do with my why? If so, what can I do? When we’re discouraged, we’re focused on what’s not working.
Brad Crowell 10:28
Lesley Logan 10:30
And the the reality is, is there’s always gonna be things that are not working. So what is possible in that moment, and then the next thing is make a decision, just make a decision. Make a decision, make a decision to not do it, to take a step, to put pause on, you can also make a decision to think about it in three weeks. (Brad: hmm) Right? You can also like, put it go, “You know what, this problem I’m having? I’m just trying to think about it until on this date at this time.” (Brad: Yeah) And if you can make a decision, that’s action, it brings clarity. It’s the antidote to fear. Boom! Second, it really is going to free up some emotions and I think we get attached to an outcome. And that’s why we’re discouraged because we’re not getting the outcome we wanted. And if and so just like taking that step back really does make sure that you’re actually working on the outcome you want in the first place.
Brad Crowell 11:23
Yeah, I mean, also to can allow you to evaluate your expectations.
Lesley Logan 11:28
Yes. Which oh my gosh, girl, like as a recovering perfectionist and overachiever. Like I struggle with expectation hangover, big time. (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 11:40
Lesley Logan 11:42
I didn’t make that up. That is actually we should have her on the pod. Oh, my God, we should have her on the pod. (Brad: Let’s do that.) Her name is it’ll come to me, Christine Hassler. Boom! (Brad: I’m impressed.) She’s got a book. It’s called Expectation Hangover.
Brad Crowell 11:55
I’m very impressed. (Lesley: Thank you so much.) Well, we’ll look like like, you know, I hope that that was helpful. I feel like we like from from a from an actual practical perspective. What do you do when you’re discouraged? Journal, speak with … with someone about it, that could be a therapist or your bestie. You know, but you know, the important thing is to, to get it out and talk about it, so that you’re not dwelling on it and dwelling on it and dwelling on it. (Lesley: Yeah) If you are discouraged, and you’re having trouble going to sleep, I love to have a notepad on the side of my bed. And I just write it down, because it gives my mind permission not to keep circling it over and over and over again, because I won’t have to like, “Forget it.” I know in this case, (Lesley: Yeah) you know, it’s not quite that something you’re, you know forgetting. But it just helps you set it aside for the moment.
Lesley Logan 12:45
I have one more thing. Ask yourself. Like, “Okay, what if I just stopped doing the thing?” (Brad: Oh, yeah.) “What if I just stopped doing the thing? That’s not working, that I’m discouraged about?”
Brad Crowell 13:02
Be aware if you ask that of somebody in your life, because they may get angry. (Lesley laughs) … discouraged. (Brad laughs)
Lesley Logan 13:08
Now, if you do get angry. That means that you want to fight for it. (Brad: Yeah) And if you feel relief, that’s a sign. (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 13:19
Then you can, then maybe, maybe this is something you need to let go.
Lesley Logan 13:22
Let go. And it’s okay to let go of our things. Did you know that crossing out a goal is the same as checking it off? It’s same. (Brad: Right) It’s the same, deleting a goal is the same as checking it off. And so I just encourage you, it’s okay to, I don’t know if it was raised like we don’t quit, but you can… quitting is not a weakness. If you like are taking that 30,000 foot view and your body is telling you like, “I don’t want to fight for this anymore.” (Brad: Yeah) It’s not it’s it’s like actually allowing you to create space for something else. So how is that quitting? Anyways, that’s a great question. (Brad: Wow) I freaking loved it. Wow, what a beautiful. (Brad: Yeah) Thanks, Brad for having that conversation (Brad: Yeah) with me. (Brad: That was a journey.) I feel like we have to take a deep breath. (Brad: Yeah) (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 14:07
I mean, we can do that. Breathe in
Lesley Logan 14:12
Through the nose. Out through the nose. I feel better.
Brad Crowell 14:18
Okay. All right. Let’s talk about Bree Gordon. Okay, using music to connect, which I got really excited about. Bree Gordon is a board certified Music Therapist, mother, podcaster, public speaker and innovator of new wellness programs. And she is a beautiful believer that music is the universal love language has created a career in helping others process and heal from trauma.
Lesley Logan 14:44
Okay, so I knew you would get so stoked when you heard that. I was like, “Oh, my God, Brad’s gonna freak the fuck out.” (Brad laughs) But also do you know I just came to my mind? (Brad: Tell me.) I think it’s easy to like go nod and go, “Yeah, music is a universal love language.” But there is this Daily episode, we’re not going to link it, you’re not to find it yourself. It’s a Sunday read. This journalist was trying to search for his father. He finally found him. His father was like, technically a pirate. Anyways, (Brad: Oh, yeah) he, he was playing some jazz music, I want to say it was jazz music. And like, was like, you know, his dad was like, like humming along, knew the beat, knew all the things, it might have been some sort of classical music. But anyways, it was music that like people recognize from the old times. And then he put in a CD (spoiler alert, he found his father.) He put in a CD and the da… his dad was like listening to it and like moving to it. And he was like, “Who is this? I’ve never heard this before.” And he’s like, “This is mine.” And it was the same type of music that his dad loved. And they never knew each other. And they love the same music. Universal love language. Okay. (Brad: Pretty crazy) So I’m so grateful for her. And one thing I love that she said, is something that I’ve been really focusing my training education around is being trauma informed. She said, “You’re not waiting for them to tell you they have trauma, you’re acting as if they do.” And so this is if anybody, if you did listen to the episode, we talked about this, and and the link is, in the show notes from the episode on Monday. It’s not about asking what’s wrong with you? It’s about asking what happened to you? (Brad: Yeah) And when you are trauma informed as a person. In this… you can be trauma informed in any business, it doesn’t matter what your business is, you’re basically coming in to an environment with the assumption that people have had a traumatic experience and not wait for them (Brad: Yeah) to tell you.
Brad Crowell 16:32
I mean, especially if you like, for example, something very relatable, if you even work in fitness, and you have taken a client through a workout and they cry afterwards. Right? Like something connected for them. And it could be I mean, it could be something they’re experiencing now, or something that they experienced a long time ago. But like working it out, physically working it out, actually, like touched a nerve or touched a memory that triggered something there. Right? So anyway, being trauma informed would mean that, you know, you’re going into teaching that person understanding that it’s possible that they could have a reaction to it.
Lesley Logan 17:12
Yeah. You’re not you just, you don’t even have to ask because a lot of people are unaware of especially childhood traumas, things like that they buried them so long. So you’re basically just assuming that there is trauma there and giving people full permission in that way. And for my Pilates instructors who are listening to this, “Hello, I love you.” You know, this is something like we put people on their backs, we put them in some interesting positions. And the weight movement specifically is how trauma is released in the body. And so if you can take some time to understand what being trauma informed is, and like ask yourself different things. And it’s really interesting, I was talking with our, with my therapist about this, like, I don’t like mirrors in my studio. I actually was never in a studio that had a lot of mirrors when I did Pilates. When I was training it didn’t have mirrors, the only studio I had that had mirrors was Equinox. And those mirrors were so funny because you, you would look funny when you looked at them. And I was like, “I hate mirrors.” But I specifically didn’t have them. And that allowed a lot of women who had body image issues to feel comfortable and safe in my space. I didn’t know I was doing it. So the point is, is like it’s uh, I really love that you talked about being trauma informed. And it doesn’t matter what, who you are listening to this and what you do, you can take some trauma informed classes. And if you’re like, I don’t even know what that means. Read the book, “What Happened to You?” You will instantly be educated in a way that will allow you like, even over Christmas as I was reading that book. I heard someone in our family say, “What’s wrong with you?” to one of our dogs. And I was like, “It’s what happened to him.” (Brad and Lesley laughs) So anyways, okay, what did you love that she said?
Brad Crowell 18:47
Yeah. Um, so, um… the, sorry, I was just thinking about everything that you were just saying there. (Lesley: Oh, it’s okay.) Yeah. (Lesley: We can keep talking about it.) Well, I, I like the idea for me, it kind of connects with the idea of being prepared. (Lesley: mm-hmm) Right? Because we are, we are in a position of authority, you know, when we’re, you know, if you’re working with a client, so going back to that example, you know. And it’s, it’s actually, like really important to be prepared, if someone you know, is because I think you said something you kind of glossed over it, but you said, “Movement is how trauma is released from the body.” (Lesley: Yeah) And I think that it’s really important to understand that especially people who work in fitness. If movement is how trauma is released from the body. I mean, just think about that for just a second.
Lesley Logan 19:40
Well, not even just who work in fitness, if you are in fitness, like if you take a fitness class. So if you are a listener who just likes to work out or is thinking about working out or if you’re a listener who teaches people how to move. Both parties need to be informed because you might not know you might not be aware of the trauma that has happened to you. (Brad: Sure) You might be in a class and you might cry. I remember thinking something is wrong with me when I cried during elephant. And I don’t even know what it was that it was bringing up…
Brad Crowell 20:09
For Tracy out there elephant is it move and Pilates. (Lesley laughs)
Lesley Logan 20:13
So, I was doing this exercise and I cried. And I had something of, a voice came out of me that said to my teacher, “Today is actually not the day to teach me this exercise.” (Brad: Hmm) And I and I, when I said it, I didn’t even know whose voice that was. But not every person who has had trauma will have that voice come up for them. And so basically, like, movement is how trauma leaves. So there’s a book by Two Sisters, I want to say it’s called Burnout. I want to say it Brené Brown interviewed them. It’s a great interview. Anyways, they say, like, ladies, especially since that’s what most of you are. And to my men, then tell your girlfriends about this, the ladies in your life. If, like, if you had, if you’ve been ca… called on the street, and you bury that inside you…
Brad Crowell 21:07
Emily and Amelia Nagoski. (Lesley: Yes) The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.
Lesley Logan 21:12
Yes. So they even say, obviously in that moment, you can’t scream and yell at the dude who just drove pass with this cat call of something that then when you ignored it, they say something else, which is also more invigorating and traumatizing. It’s traumatizing. The idea is though, that you cannot hold that within you because that’s going to build, it’s going to stay in your body. (Brad: hmm) And it’s going to cause illness injury. We’ll get into that later on this episode. But like, basically, they say, “If you can’t in the moment, let the trauma out, let the let the feelings out of your body.” Then as soon as you can, you need to let it out, punching a pillow, screaming, you know, things like that. You have to let it out. And so there are things that you didn’t… Now that you’ve heard this, maybe you’ll do that for in the future, but there’s stuff in the past, and it’s going to come out and it usually comes out through movement. So anyways, (Brad: Wow. Okay) Okay.
Brad Crowell 22:03
Well, that is that is like super deep. Okay, one thing that I loved that she said, which is actually it’s kind of perfect. I had I had chosen that your body will tell you, “What’s going on?” (Lesley: Yeah) So I mean, it’s we kind of covered it, you know, but But it’s in addition to the emotional side of things where it’s pulling out, you know, the trauma you may have experienced you, your body… So trauma is the event. The, like trauma actually is the event. Right? But then that is stored in your body. (Lesley: Yeah, if you don’t let it out.) If you don’t let it out. It’s stored in your body. Right? And a perfect example of this is when Bree was talking about her experience from leading three summers of a trauma likes, like week, like a like, like a boot camp kind of a thing. (Lesley: Yeah) And she said the third time through she she literally came out of it. She needed a cane to walk. (Lesley: Yeah) And she realized that she wasn’t she was absorbing, you know, their like, you know, she was taking on their stress, their trauma, (Lesley: mm-hmm) you know, into her and wasn’t releasing it. And it was like affecting her. She had herniated discs. (Lesley: Yeah) How crazy is that?
Lesley Logan 22:11
It’s, I mean, like, it’s, it’s crazy. It’s also not surprising. So your body will tell you what’s going on. I’m grateful that you brought this up. So y’all I’m gonna, I’m finished in a breathwork training because I can’t wait to add this to my retreats and also the coaching that we do. But, for example, if you’ve got stuff going with your lower back, that’s a common place to store anger. If you’ve got stuff going on with your stomach and intestines, that’s a place where you store fear. Heart and chest is heartbreak and sorrow, neck and shoulders is resentment or holding on to burdens. Voice and throat problems is oppression. And so those are just simple, right? But if you actually want to study this, there’s like, there are people who are body workers who can tell you like your hip thing is like your mother’s money problems like there’s, it gets deep and I know that can sound like a double “whoo.” It is a one whoo thing like there’s a reason why the book – The Body Keeps the Score is exactly point, on point. And we need to start listening to our bodies and not our brains all the time. Because like you have a brain but you have that logical part. And then you have this like, there’s an old brain is a subconscious brain. And so I think it’s really important, (Brad: hmm) like if we actually start listening to our bodies, and instead of you mentioned earlier symptoms, instead of going to a doctor with symptoms (Brad: hmm) and getting medication to get rid of the symptoms, really trying to understand what is the problem here. (Brad: Yeah) What is the problem here? (Brad: Gotta get to the root.) Yeah. And so for Bree, she wasn’t actually taking care of herself. In those moments she was taking on everything, she’s taking, “I’ll take on your panels,” and for our caregivers listening, our mamas and like the people who have like aging parents, if you are taking care of them and not you, your body’s going to tell you. (Brad: fascia workers) Mm hmm. (Brad: Yeah) But you know what I will say, a lot of body workers that I know, depend on if they were trained well, like my fascia and my rafters, a Reiki, they learn social workers learn this, to take care of themselves, to have (Brad: Yeah) boundaries. (Brad: boundaries) And a lot of people outside of those specialties, there’s no training whatsoever on boundaries and taking care of yourself. (Brad: Yeah) Okay.
Brad Crowell 25:49
Well, let’s talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Bree Gordon? Well, I, she, she actually had a couple, but at the end, she said, “I’m only going to share one.” But we, we’re going through, there was a couple of recurring themes. But this one that she shared, which I’ll talk about, is figure out what life looks like on the other side of trauma. And basically, it is it does take a moment of identifying that you’re experiencing pain. You’re experiencing this, you know, whatever it might show up as grief, you know. And you kind of do have to have this, this awareness that you’re in it, but you don’t have to stay in it. You will stay in it if you if you just keep dwelling on it. And she’s saying, “To move on, you need to imagine what life will be like, when it’s not, when you’re not in it anymore in the same way.” Right? And so, you know, she, she, she compared it to a mountain, and we’re treating it like a mountain. And we’re and we just imagine that we’re never going to get to the other side of that mountain. But what does life look like on the other side, and when you can, when you could take a minute and envision that. And maybe you literally write it down like this could be where a dream board comes into play. (Lesley: mm-hmm) You know, where you actually have it on your mirror or on the wall, or on a thing in your wallet or it’s on your dash in your car like something somewhere where you’re going to see it on a consistent basis. That you know, like life isn’t like this forever. And yes, it’s painful. And it’s never gonna like go away forever, but it will change and it won’t be the same as it is today.
Lesley Logan 27:51
Oh my gosh, you just made me think of Amy Cuddy because she had a traumatic experience. Amy Cuddy is the inspiration for the title of this podcast, by the way. (Brad: Oh, right.) And my assistant did DM her. I don’t even know who told her that I approved that. (Brad laughs) Because like nothing could bring me more fear than (Lesley laughs) than if I’m asking her to be on this podcast. And if she might say “no,” and we’ll learn how to say no. And we’ll just take and they go, “That’s a great way to say no, we’ll take that for ourselves.” But anyways, she had a traumatic brain injury. And she had a mentor in college and a grad grad school say to her like this is you’re gonna ask a question every single day in every single class so that you can feel like you belong here. And that’s how and she didn’t even realize that she was actually being the life, what life looked like on the other side of that trauma (Brad: Yeah) and how someone came up to her when she was at a working at a school and someone came up and said, “I don’t belong here.” And she’s like, “Oh, you’re gonna ask a question everyday.” (Lesley laughs) So um, that’s I think that’s amazing and that’s you know, we should even what even if you don’t think that you’re someone who’s suffering from trauma in this moment, figure out what life looks like another set of whatever discouragement or problem you’ve got going on and (Brad: Yeah) will be really helpful.
Brad Crowell 29:10
Yeah, well, what about you?
Lesley Logan 29:12
My biggest takeaway – show up for others but do it with accountability for yourself. Hello, fill your cup first. She she was there as a giver and I think so many of us are, we’re just give, we like are such givers. But you if you do not …
Brad Crowell 29:28
When we say she was there, are you talking about leading the trauma camp?
Lesley Logan 29:31
Yeah, she’s leading a trauma camp. She was doing these other things. And like she was just doing all these things to like, take care of so many people, (Brad: Yeah) to take care of their problems. But she was ignoring herself. (Brad: Yeah) And you all the plane literally says, “air mask on first, parents.” Right? And that’s for all of us, “air mask on first.” I can’t put Brad’s air mask on for him if I have put my own on. So I know that it’s hard. I know that the people that you are taking care of you are just like, you just want to be there for them. But if you are not being accountable to yourself first, you are not actually giving them everything that you could. Just not…
Brad Crowell 30:11
Yeah, I mean, we talk about this all the time with with OPC, with onlinepilatesclasses.com, where, you know, the reason that you can do life better, is because you’ve prioritized yourself. You you aren’t putting yourself on the back burner, right? Because when you especially with working out we are we know all the science behind why, you know, working out and you know, Pilates is amazing for your brain and your body. You know, and it’s obviously logical too, like when you feel better about life, you’re going to go do life better. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, so but what happens so often is, we don’t prioritize ourselves. We don’t make sure that you know, we have protected time to you know, get a workout in or read a book or whatever that might be that is, is you know, what, you’re what you need. And and then, you know, at the end of the day, we’re resentful, we’re frustrated, we’re tired, we’re angry, we’re, you know, and it just builds, it builds over time. And you know, after a while it becomes (Lesley: Yeah) it’s like a path to burnout, straight up.
Lesley Logan 31:17
Yeah, it is and so, or discouragement because, (Brad: or discouragement) you’re putting so much in and not getting what you want out. And that’s because you are not taking care of yourself. So I (Brad: Yeah) just I love this conversation. (Brad: Yeah) What a beautiful interview. (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah. This is a great one) Patting myself on the back. But … (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 31:38
You mean, you and me, I was also referencing the one when you have with Bree. That was also a great one. So, yeah. (Lesley laughs)
Lesley Logan 31:45
Um, you and I, but also yes, but Bree. No, especially with Bree, I just meant myself. I was just being (Brad laughs) that humble person I am. (Brad: My wife.) (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Amazing) Someday will have a show. It’s called My Wife and it’s basically …
Brad Crowell 32:01
It’s gonna be me shaking my head. Yeah. (Brad laughs)
Lesley Logan 32:03
About how humble I am. Y’all, thank you so much for being here. I’m so grateful for you. We are so grateful for you. You really matter to us more than we could ever actually tell you. But we could tell you if you screenshot this episode and share it with your takeaways. I will actually tell you in your DMs how grateful I am for you specifically. But please, you know, we can’t change the world without sharing these messages with people. If you are nodding your head along with this and you’re loving it, then please send it to the person that you know needs to hear it. If you want to text it to them, or if you want to share it on the Gram. That’d be great. And let us know how you’re using these in your life. And we’ll catch you in the next episode.
Brad Crowell 32:43
Thanks so much.
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.
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