Fostering Appreciation to Strengthen Bonds of Love

Ep. 347 with Lesley & Brad

“Communication, clarity and understanding how you can set each other up to getting what you want in a relationship.”

Brad Crowell

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Show Notes

In this episode, Lesley and Brad unpack the critical role of communication in feeling appreciated and connecting deeply with your partner, inspired by Kelli Adame’s relationship takeaways. They discuss the nuances of expressing needs and desires, the importance of honoring each other’s contributions, and how to navigate the complexities of masculine and feminine energies for a stronger, more connected relationship.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • The impact of narcissistic upbringing on your romantic choices.
  • The inherent differences in how men and women approach relationships.
  • That appreciation is both given and received in relationships.
  • The importance of respecting masculine energy in partnerships.
  • The role of self-care in enhancing personal joy and satisfaction.

Episode References/Links:

Transcript

Lesley Logan: There is a divineness just to be in your feminine and it allows you A. to ditch the perfection and ditch the control and ditch always being responsible for everyone’s feelings all the fucking time like we gotta let it go.

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Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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Lesley Logan 0:56
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the appreciative convo I have with Kelly Adame in our last episode. If you haven’t yet listened to that one, you should go back and listen to that one. And by the way, while you’re at it, listen to our first one and then come back and join us. Today is the official day of March 28th 2024. And it’s National Triglycerides Day.

Brad Crowell 1:16
It is.

Lesley Logan 1:17
I don’t think those are good.

Brad Crowell 1:19
No, they’re not.

Lesley Logan 1:20
Okay. So just like all things in life require balance, so does our nutritional intake. Too much of anything, even if they’re vitamins can be harmful. This is why, this is the reason why high triglyceride levels

Brad Crowell 1:32
It’s not that triglycerides are bad, high triglycerides.

Lesley Logan 1:35
High triglycerides, which are important lipid compounds that help with providing us with energy can be extremely detrimental while in many cases high triglycerides levels can be treated using medications. Recent studies have shown that in older people, namely 50 and above, that’s not older, 50 is not old, triglyceride levels rise because of hormonal changes. If you’re not sure what this even means speak with your doctor. If you have high triglycerides there are foods you can eat that will help you lower your levels. Whey protein products, fatty fish, whole grains, quinoa, avocado, coconut oil, garlic and cruciferous vegetables.

Brad Crowell 2:09
Nice.

Lesley Logan 2:10
Thank you, have all been shown to significantly reduce triglyceride levels. Ultimately, talk to your doctor. You know what, if you don’t trust your doctor, talk to a different doctor, like if you have a doctor who won’t test all of your levels, including your hormones get a different one advocate for yourself. You know that doctor I didn’t like, everyone knows, we talked about it in the podcast, we talked about how much I don’t like her, my insurance company just let me know that she’s no longer in network for me, so I have to find a new one. I’m like, well, I was gonna find a new one anyway, so thanks.

Brad Crowell 2:35
So if you’re wondering what a cruciferous vegetables is.

Lesley Logan 2:38
Is it like cauliflower?

Brad Crowell 2:39
Yeah, cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, kale, bok choy, arugula, brussel sprouts, collard greens.

Lesley Logan 2:45
Some of those will make your pee smell. And that’s how you’ll know you’re doing a good job.

Brad Crowell 2:50
That’s really what you’re looking for y’all. Smelly pee.

Lesley Logan 2:52
Hey, come to the Be It Pod for random facts on your triglyceride levels. But also, I just reject 50 being older people. I’m over that. No, because I’m 44. I’m 40 what do you mean 42? That’s bullshit.

Brad Crowell 3:08
That’s a BS.

Lesley Logan 3:10
Yeah. Anyways.

Brad Crowell 3:12
Well, I just figured, you know, like, or heard about, you know, nutritional health and all the things but I didn’t know there was an entire day dedicated to the awareness of high triglyceride levels.

Lesley Logan 3:25
Well, because we live in a place where we have to, like make a holiday. Like okay, did you know the other day I was listening to a podcast and it was National Equal Pay Day it’s like why the fuck is there a holiday? To remind?

Brad Crowell 3:39
It’s probably an awareness day.

Lesley Logan 3:40
It’s an awareness, it’s still considered a holiday, right? If you go to the you don’t look up awareness days, you look up holidays, right? So it’s on the holidays calendar, and companies should just pay people equally for the same amount of work. Period.

Brad Crowell 3:56
I agree.

Lesley Logan 3:57
Doesn’t need a fucking holiday. Anyways, just get a little irritated on this.

Brad Crowell 4:03
Those triglycerides took you down a bad road there.

Lesley Logan 4:08
I love cruciferous fruits I eat vegetables. I eat them all the time. Okay, so you guys. This is this in like three or four days Brad is doing the Accelerator which is a studio growth accelerator program. So if you’re a Pilates teacher, studio owner, you can attend this amazing two-ish-hour webinar.

Brad Crowell 4:27
It’ll be April 4th.

Lesley Logan 4:27
April 4th to be exact. And here’s the thing that’s so cool about it. He’s going to teach you stuff and then you’re gonna work on that stuff. What?

Brad Crowell 4:29
Yeah. Teach and work on it.

Lesley Logan 4:34
So it’s not, so it’s not like we talked about this (inaudible). It’s not like you’re just gonna get tons of information with no integration because you’ll get constipated. Yes, you can have cruciferous vegetables, but you can also integrate the things you’re learning. Also coming up in the first weekend of June, it’s summer camp. Oh, I didn’t give the link for that. It’s the Studio Growth Accelerator. If you are wanting to sign up for that, you should. Agency members. You got Brad, you know don’t need to do this.

Brad Crowell 5:01
You don’t need to do this.

Lesley Logan 5:02
You’ve already done this. Go to prfit.biz/accelerator. And you’d be surprised that accelerator’s two Cs and one L. You know, I thought it had two Ls and it doesn’t. So prfit.biz/accelerator to snag your spot it’s like last chance so you got a few days. But then summer camp is the first few days of June like specifically the first Saturday and Sunday of June.

Brad Crowell 5:27
Yeah. This is going to be a big deal, y’all.

Brad Crowell 5:29
You guys

Brad Crowell 5:30
This is like a huge, huge event.

Lesley Logan 5:31
So everyone loves summer camp last year

Brad Crowell 5:33
And you don’t want to miss it.

Lesley Logan 5:34
We wanted to make this summer camp the biggest thing ever. And like we also know that there’s not a ton of in-person Pilates events for people who are nerds of Pilates. So this is not just for teachers. This is for people who practice Pilates, too. And so the OPC teachers and I are doing workshops and workouts, then we’re bringing in some guest teachers as well. You can literally spend entire day with me moving your body and how like learn from so many amazing people will have a pre and postnatal workshop in there as well. So if you can also buy day pass, I mean, there’s just so many awesome things. If you are on the waitlist, you are going to get one of the best early bird prices now I say one of it’s because OPC members will get the best. So the best thing you can do is be an OPC number. But if you’re not ready to commit to us yet, totally get it. Go to opc.me/workshops plural, and you can get on the waitlist and you will hear when the doors open for summer camp. And you can get the early bird special on all the goodness that’s happening and you’ll have lifetime access. So if you’re like oh my gosh, guys, I’m busy. Guess what? You should buy it while it’s on early bird because full price is a lot of money. And then you can have access to the replays. Also Cambodia. Oh my God. You guys. At the time we’re recording this we only have one spot left in October.

Brad Crowell 6:46
I just marked it and sold that.

Lesley Logan 6:47
No way. Did we sell it?

Brad Crowell 6:49
Well maybe.

Lesley Logan 6:51
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Brad. Anyways, I’m gonna say it because until it’s sold out sold out. We have one spot left now according, this is March 28th. I’m recording earlier. So it might be sold out by then. But anyway, crowsnestretreats.com to see if there’s one spot left in October and if not, you’ll see the early bird rates are up, are already up for February 2025. What?

Brad Crowell 7:10
Oh, yeah.

Lesley Logan 7:12
For the first time since 2020 we will be back in Q1 of a year in Cambodia, which is a really unique time because the sunrises are a different color that I, here’s the thing, I love how green everything is in October, but I prefer the sunrises in February. I know I’m weird, but like, hey, it’s (inaudible).

Brad Crowell 7:32
Just little drier. It’s not quite as humid.

Lesley Logan 7:34
Well, I like it (inaudible). It’s always gonna be humid, it’s Cambodia, but, it’s Asia. But the sunrises are really cool. And it’s not super close to the spring equinox. But it’s like also close enough that you can kind of trick your camera into looking like the sun is right over the center. Because you know, you don’t have to Photoshop you can just kind of angle it. So you want to go to crowsnestretreats.com to snag the early bird rates while they’re still early bird rate. You don’t want to pay full price for that. And then don’t forget, if you’re looking for a four-week Pilates challenge you can go to, you could always go (inaudible) you can always go to opc.me/challenge and hop into our mat or reformer challenge anytime. So it’s a four week on the reformer or a four week on the mat. We start with 10 minutes. And these are accountability programs, it’s really what they are and they’re so fun and you get tips on how to like create a Pilates habit, and I made these for you. So use that. OPC.me/challenge. All right, Brad.

Brad Crowell 7:34
That’s not a guilt trip or anything but you should go do them anyway.

Lesley Logan 8:35
Go do them. Just go do them.

Brad Crowell 8:38
I love it. Yes, we do have an audience question because I know that’s what you’re about to ask me. Risa E, recently asked me on a call, hey, what is a client avatar?

Lesley Logan 8:48
Okay. I mean, if we think back to Hilary Hartley, she doesn’t like the word avatar because it sounds like a fake thing. And but here’s the deal. We still call client avatars because it’s shorter, because we were joking around with her like ideal real person client avatar. But your ideal client avatar, Brad will be more specific about this but the way you want to think about this is if you could carbon copy a person to do

Brad Crowell 9:17
Your favorite

Lesley Logan 9:18
Your favorite person that you ever, you’re just like are so excited to (inaudible) them on your schedule or you have a shop, assuming your shop, didn’t carbon copy this person that would be your avatar, your muse another way to think of that, your muse, your inspiration for what you do. But also it helps you understand how to talk to someone, who you’re talking to. What are their problem? What is the problem they have? No one, people don’t really need luxury items. So you have to be a solution to a problem they know they have. And so if you don’t know who your avatar is your ideal real person client avatar. You are talking to everyone which means you’re talking to no one. Even when we are talking to you on this podcast. I don’t see your faces, but I am picturing some of the listeners who I know listen, hi guys, every single time the episode drops shout out to let’s go, Heather, Amanda, hi mom. Oh my gosh, Laura. There’s so many of you I don’t want to leave anyone out but at the same like, I’m picturing you guys I know when I’m interviewing someone, I’m thinking about you, because I actually know the questions you would ask that person and so that is dictates how the episodes go and who I bring on the pod and things like that. And so what you need to think about is a real person that you want to speak to all of the time. And I know that niching down scares the hell out of you. Because oh my god, what if they reject you? Well, it just means your messaging is off. It doesn’t mean it’s not personal. And so that’s what a client avatar is. (Inaudible) on that, Brad?

Brad Crowell 10:43
Yeah, totally. I’m going to be going into this, you know, more in depth on the Accelerator on April 4th. So if you really want to get nerdy with me, go to prfit.biz/accelerator and join me for that workshop. It’s a two-hour workshop. It’s gonna be great. We’re gonna dig into that. And also, how do you, you know, how do you actually bring more clients in your studio? And then how do you empower your clients to bring their friends and family into the studio? So if you are trying to jumpstart your studio’s growth, or any of that kind of stuff, join me for that accelerator program. And yeah, as far as an ICA or an ideal client avatar, the idea is that somebody that you know you’re talking to and so it allows you to visualize who they actually are. When you’re connecting with them you’re actually speaking their language in a way that will allow them to go ho, this girl is for me, this product is for me.

Brad Crowell 11:43
Did you say ho? Ho!

Brad Crowell 11:44
I was going to say hey yo and then I don’t know I caught myself saying ho.

Lesley Logan 11:51
(Inaudible) Christopher Walken singing Poker Face.

Brad Crowell 11:55
P-p-p-poker Face. Oh that’s the best YouTube video.

Lesley Logan 11:58
Look it up, I promise you my ICA, listen to this, will love Christopher Walken.

Brad Crowell 12:04
Singing Poker Face. Yeah. Google it. Alright, so anyway, yes, that is an ICA. Great question. Thanks, Risa. Love it.

Lesley Logan 12:14
You guys can ask us any question you want. Someone just asked our entire team what pants I was wearing when I did a video and my team had to like track me down to go which pink shorts are these? Which I love. Okay, so Alright, let’s talk about Kelli Adame.

Brad Crowell 12:31
Kelli Adame, a seasoned relationship expert with a background in psychotherapy and coaching excels in guiding individuals and couples through the complexities of modern love and relationships. With a profound understanding of the balance between masculine and feminine energies, she offers nuanced guidance in communication, dating and building fulfilling relationships and marriages.

Lesley Logan 12:53
Yeah, I wanted to have her back on because it was just so many. There’s so many different things we could talk about when it comes to these and like the first time we had her on we had so many people who loved it. And I have to share this because so many people are like, oh my God there is this one person. Yeah, there was this one person who was like, I was into this until she said we have to be passive to be in our feminine energy. And it’s like, she didn’t say like, you just take what you get like, like she had no way to said like, just accept what’s coming. It was very much like no, like be be willing to receive, you know?

Brad Crowell 13:26
Yeah, I don’t even remember if, I don’t remember passive, but I remember the idea of receiving.

Lesley Logan 13:32
Well, and I do think that that word came out in the interview when I was doing it because I listened to the whole thing. And before y’all get like a little triggered by it well, word, listen to the before and after take it in context. She explained what she, like she explained what she meant by passive. So when I was in the interview, listening to her and taking that in, I didn’t take it as like, we should just like, be passive and just like, take what we could get it was very much an action of receiving and like we did a retreat recently, and one of my girls was wanting to give me a comment, I want you to receive this and I said, oh, I am, I’m gonna sit here, you’re gonna tell me and I’m just gonna say thank you. And I’m not actually going to give you a compliment back. I’m just going to sit here in the receiving of that. So. So I think like.

Brad Crowell 14:16
Also, I think that we have this weird preconceived notion that, you know, one person always demanding or getting and the other person is always receiving. And that is not what the context of that was. Nor is that reality, there’s always a give and take in every relationship. So there are moments where you’re receiving there are moments where I’m receiving and that is, hopefully, that’s that’s actually a healthy relationship.

Lesley Logan 14:39
No 100% Because like, I also have never taken her explanation of like massive feminine energies and that there’s this I won’t say her name because I don’t want to give her any air. But there’s this one woman who like in her household, her husband makes all the decisions all the time. And I was like, no. That’s a hard no.

Brad Crowell 15:00
Yeah. That is called an unhealthy relationship.

Lesley Logan 15:03
Because I can be in my feminine and also, when it’s needed make decisions for this relationship for myself, I don’t need permission. So anyways, I just wanted to highlight that because, again, one, first of all, there’s always been someone who doesn’t get something out of something. And also, ladies, we, there is a diviness to be in your feminine and it allows you a. to ditch the perfection and ditch the control and ditch always be responsible for everyone’s feelings all the fucking time. Like, we gotta let it go. And if you are wanting to have a healthy relationship, it is going to be like, I make sure and I’m not always good at this, but I love to make sure that Brad feels needed. I can do a lot of shit around the house by myself. I mean, I did almost burn it down. But I can do a lot by myself. But also, it’s like super good to, like, let you shine and do some cool, like, there’s amazing things you’ve done with these shelves. And I’m like, yeah, actually really great. Love that. So anyways, I just had to like, get that out there. So I just love her and I love what she is talking about and doing. And so she said she talked, we talked about narcissistic parents, and that will often cause if you have a narcissistic parent, you will often be drawn to a narcissist in your relationships. And so just you know, keep that in mind my loves. We’ve had narcissistic parents. I’ll never forget, my mom told us it was but like, I’ll never forget the time she texts me she’s like Etsy or Pinterest sent me this, such as this book called Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, it’s probably a good thing, you’re not having a child because it’s probably passed out like a hereditary trait. And so the narcissism can stop with you. So anyways, you can be drawn to a narcissistic partner. And she said, sometimes the work is more just spending time tending to yourself, it’s actually a loving decision. And so again, like and you can be in your feminine energy, and just take care of you like just say no to things, take a hot bath, enjoy amazing music, like set a space for yourself. There’s nothing selfish about that, that is actually like being in your feminine, really awesome. And she also talked about like, it doesn’t matter where you are, or whatever you’re doing, you can learn to fully embody your feminine energy in that way, or in different ways. And then she also said, if you, when you into when you’re integrated in that feminine energy, you’re going to attract something different. So if you find you keep attracting, this is why single ladies, I’m sure we have a few good men listening. But on Brad’s actually doing All the Single Ladies right now he’s dancing.

Lesley Logan 17:46
If you’re wanting to attract different things in your life, you have to actually have a different energy because we actually what we put out is what we are attracting things, right. So you actually are in control of that. And I just I was just listening to a happiness talk on Diary of a CEO and the guy was like, he’s a scientist at this. And he says, no one likes when I say this, he’s like, but you are actually in control of your happiness. You can change how you’re feeling by the words you’re using. And so I loved it, because it made me think of this interview. It’s like, when we integrate our feminine energy, when we choose to be in that you are going to attract something different you are in control of how you attract things. So it’s not passive.

Brad Crowell 18:25
Right. Right? Yeah. So this was a really interesting conversation, for me to be a bystander in, on, at listening to, I remember being really intrigued during the first episode. And that happened for me again, this time, too, because just really, first off, she’s very learned, right? And well educated about this kind of stuff, but also to the way she describes it makes me laugh. And also made me aware of things that may be happening in my life or in our relationship. That is like, oh, cool. Okay. I never even thought about it in that context before. She said that women are wired for relationships. She also said that men are wired for non-relationships or polygamy. And I thought that was interesting.

Lesley Logan 19:22
You never heard that before.

Lesley Logan 19:23
No. Oh, it’s like a whole thing.

Brad Crowell 19:26
Okay. Well, she said, she said, the, when it comes to why would a man who’s wired for you know polygamy choose monogamy is because they like to win. And, you know, the hunters, right? They’re trying to win. And what Kelli said is that when she’s working with men, most often they actually don’t feel appreciated in a relationship. And so why would they decide to stay in the relationship if they’re not having, they’re not feeling like they’re winning. Right? I appreciated your comment about the shelves. It also made me laugh because I feel like

Lesley Logan 20:16
I would just hire someone.

Brad Crowell 20:18
Yeah, I don’t think you would ever fucking do that. So letting me do that is pretty fun.

Lesley Logan 20:22
Yeah, no, I would just hire someone. We had this conversation last night, you were telling me to do something like, or just hire the person to fix this.

Brad Crowell 20:29
So what she talked about was criticizing or, you know, she said, the men that she works with often say, it doesn’t matter what I do, I never feel like it’s enough. I always feel like, you know, I’m being nitpicked or whatever. And I can do no, right, it’s never enough. And so, you know, eventually, that builds up resentment and all those kinds of things. You know, so she, she then asked you, like, why would a man give up options for all the women to be in a relationship with a woman where he doesn’t feel appreciated? I’m pretty sure that’s not what she said. She actually said, why would I give up all the other vaginas? Just to have one? If I don’t feel appreciated?

Lesley Logan 21:07
Is that what she said and our team changed it. I love you guys. I do or call that oh, okay. I guess let’s just talk about like vaginas? That’s right. Yes.

Brad Crowell 21:21
Which I was like, wow, okay, my jaw hit the floor. And she said because a man likes to win and if he can win with you, that is, that can be worth becoming monogamous and being excited to stay in a relationship in a committed relationship and all that kind of stuff. And so, there, you know, there’s, it’s kind of like a mission. It’s built into humans into men, in this way that I’ve never really thought about it like this before, I didn’t actually know that.

Lesley Logan 21:58
It’s interesting, because like,

Brad Crowell 21:59
I don’t feel like it is, I don’t feel like it is, there is a bit of an ego, especially when we first started dating when I was like, like, I got you off the market, you know, kind of a thing, especially because

Lesley Logan 22:10
(Inaudible) I told you don’t take me off the market, if you’re not gonna marry me.

Brad Crowell 22:13
Well, it wasn’t even just that I also knew that, you know, we were both also, like, seeing other people to try to figure out who we wanted to spend time with. Right? And so there definitely was a bit of pride that I felt as we decided to, you know, commit to each other, for sure, you know, and, but that was like, 10 years ago, you know, almost at this point. So, that.

Lesley Logan 22:41
Really close to 10 years this summer.

Brad Crowell 22:43
Yeah, kind of crazy. I haven’t really thought about that in a really long time, to be honest.

Lesley Logan 22:48
Well, I think the other thing is, like we were we were listening to (inaudible) talking about, like, six human needs. Right. And so we have an interesting thing when it’s like certainty to me, right? And also, we need uncertainty. And so like, I also think, you know, I also feel for the woman who’s also saying this to the man or make the man feel this way, because she probably also feels underappreciated. So but like, for to me, and I don’t think that Kelli and I got into this, but like, if another certainly women who probably do this always, but for me, if I am starting to, if I find myself starting to nitpick or think about you in a negative way, it’s because I am feeling I’m doing a lot. And I am feeling underappreciated as well. And so what happens is, when one person feels underappreciated, they start taking on the other person and the other person feels underappreciated, but like, literally no one’s communicating about feeling underappreciated. And so I think that it’s really important, because like, what I don’t want is women to be like, yeah, he’s not doing anything, probably. But also like, and also, there are other ways to say like, it means a lot to me when x, y, and z happens, and when this isn’t happening, it makes it really hard for me to show up in this relationship in a in a positive way.

Brad Crowell 24:07
Yeah, well, I mean, yes, that for sure. But also to what Kelli said, is, basically make sure let him know how he can win with you. Right? And, you know, what does that actually mean? And honestly, that ultimately comes down to communication. And, you know, I think that when you know what will win someone over, I’m just trying not to use the word win, but when you know how you can succeed in a relationship, you’re more likely to do that.

Lesley Logan 24:37
Well, it’s also like, let’s just say it as a job when you actually know how you’re going to be appreciated at work, how are you gonna be recognized, how you’re going to have affirmation at your job, you do it, right? If you’re at a job, and I don’t want to think of a relationship as a job, but like who okay she keeps, she, sorry guys are lovely Gaia is taking out a light, when you are at a job and you don’t know how to win at your job or feel succeeded or have affirmation or feel like you’re doing things, right. You feel lost, you feel confused, you feel frustrated, you get upset. It’s the same thing. So not that your relationship is a job, but it’s a, I think of our relationships

Lesley Logan 24:37
It’s an easy comparison. I mean, we go through it at the workplace, in the workplace, right? So, you know, yeah. I get that.

Lesley Logan 25:23
Yeah. So I think like, for all any of you out there, like, I don’t think relationships are ever easy. And I think it’s actually always a give and take. And that’s why I also love having Kelli back a couple of times to explain, like, both people in a relationship have both masculine and feminine. And it’s important to know when you’re in either of those, and then to communicate how you feel. And it is not easy. Like, it’s, it’s, it’s never going to be easy. But if you really actually care about the person, it’s actually worth the communication, it’s worth the time. It’s, it’s worth understanding and hearing things from that person’s perspective and figuring out how you can, you can do that.

Brad Crowell 26:01
And here’s how, like, here’s the other side of it, is that when he knows how he can win with you, he will do his best to win with you, which is a win for you. Right? So, you know, I think ultimately, communication and clarity and understanding how, you know, you can, can set each other up to, you know, both be getting what you want in a relationship. That’s, you know, so that’s, that’s like my biggest takeaway with it.

Brad Crowell 26:30
All right. So finally, let’s talk about those Be It Action Items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Kelli Adame? She said, to honor the masculine and look at where you are being critical, I thought this was again, I thought, this is really interesting. Look at where you are trying to teach or preach or change your man. And I find it hilarious that I’m the one saying this in this conversation right now, but.

Lesley Logan 26:57
I’m not taking it as a note. So it’s okay.

Brad Crowell 26:58
Yeah. The, you know, what you discussed, which I’m just going to refer back to your conversation is that, obviously, it can be, it can turn into a mothering relationship, because one of the things you talked about was, you know, a, you know, badass high performing woman who ends up with, you know, a Peter Pan style, like, childlike man, who is just being taken care of you, we’re talking about a specific relationship where three years in, she was like, I’m done, you know, and, and that was like, you know, annoying and complicated. And it was because, you know, the role was always the woman was driving things, being in the masculine, masculine energy, running things, providing all the things and, and then it never actually allowed for there to be the give and take. And to me, it doesn’t sound like that. Man was trying to step up anyway.

Lesley Logan 28:00
Yeah. Well, also like, and, you know, it depends on how the relationship started. Because also, like, if it started off with him being a Peter Pan and her always taking care of him. It’s not like, magically one day he’s gonna read her mind and step up, like, you know what I mean, like, I think that’s another thing.

Brad Crowell 28:15
That’s true.

Lesley Logan 28:16
I was listening to when we were on our way to Mexico I was listening to this podcast from various CEO with this sexpert, who she was talking about one of her books is like, it’s like, how to stay married after having children, or how to have sex after having children, something like that. Anyways, she was explaining how, in a lot of relationships, when the child, a child has entered. First of all, there’s so many things that happen to a female’s body that make it complicated to have sex, you have to wait several weeks, after for things to heal, maybe longer depending on how things are going. And then she is tired. Because the baby wakes up all the time. And if the partner in her life isn’t also stepping up in other ways to help out and she finds herself, making food for everybody and clean up after everybody and doing and scheduling things for everybody. Then she has the children and an adult child. And once she starts to mother, the husband and I’m not saying that that’s her fault. Once that happens. Yep, it’s no longer sexy, right? Because it’d be weird to want to have sex with your kid. And so (inaudible).

Brad Crowell 29:29
Yeah, that’s exactly right. And you talked about that too, with Kelli. And what she actually said which was, which I found really interesting was you said typically, the person who makes the first move in the relationship is the one that’s taking on the masculine energy in the relationship.

Lesley Logan 29:45
Yeah, you did that for us. I made sure of it.

Brad Crowell 29:51
Anyway, glad I could step into that masculine role.

Lesley Logan 29:54
You’re so hot. Thank you so much.

Brad Crowell 29:57
What was your biggest takeaway?

Lesley Logan 29:58
Try to do an hour a day of checking in around just feeding your feel good time. And one of the other ways to describe this actually is Feel Good Friday. She takes half a day on Fridays, and she scheduled things that helps her feel good. And I think this is actually really if you are if you have stuck around on the feminine conversations and you still feel a little lost, go get your nails done. Go get your hair done, go get a massage. Why? When you get your nails done, you do feel pretty, but also you are receiving, someone’s taking care of you when you get your hair done. Oh my God, I love to get my hair blown out. I love it because I will never do it for myself. And of course, I feel so pretty. I felt even with no makeup. I’m like, wow, I can be in a Vidal Sassoon commercial, I love this. And you feel more and more like taken care of and you’re so busy taking care of others. You get a massage someone is like pouring into you. When you do Feel Good Fridays, it actually is going to be so much easier for you to step into your feminine because you’re actually practicing the art of receiving. So I really, really love that. And then she said above all else like progress, not perfection which you know, we’re all about here in the Be It Pod.

Brad Crowell 30:34
I love it.

Lesley Logan 30:47
I’m Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 31:10
And I’m Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 31:11
Thank you so much for listening to us, for being part of our conversations, for sending your questions in, for sharing the pod. I really do love when you guys just take screenshot of the pod and then tag me like it makes my day because I’m like, oh my God, they love this episode enough to share it. Like that’s so cool. Also lets me know what episodes you’re enjoying. So, continue to do that and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 31:32
Bye for now.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @be_it_pod.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

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