Shownotes

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In this episode you will learn about:

• LL missed Cambodia
• Why do a “recap episode” after each interview?
• It’s so important to find “one good thing in the middle of the mud”
• Inner Bitch vs Inner Boss
• Mental “software updates”
• The value of boundaries and intentionality
• Getting rid of the “clothes” that no longer fit
• Why “go all in” with your side hustle

Transcript

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Lesley Logan  01:02

Hey you, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the profound conversation I have with Amy Ledin in our last episode. I love…we’re just gonna leave profound in, because it’s not a word I use, but I love it. I think of my husband every time because it’s something he used all the time. If you haven’t listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us, or be like me – listen to this one and then, now that you know all the good stuff, go back and listen to the other gold that we could not bring into this shorter version. So, we have some quick announcements. I’ve been thinking a little bit about Cambodia lately, because, and in a way that I’m just reminiscing but also sad. It’s been over a year since we’ve been there. If you don’t know us very well, we used to go two, three times a year.

Brad Crowell  02:01

It has been over a year.

Lesley Logan 02:02

It’s been over a year.

Brad Crowell 02:03

Last time we were there was March last year.

Lesley Logan  02:05

Yeah, we were flying in, on March 14 as like the world was shutting down. (Brad: We were flying home) We’re flying home, excuse me. (Brad: On March 14)

Lesley Logan  02:14

Yeah, flying home. And it was so sad because I was like, how long are we saying goodbye to this place? And I did not think it would be a year. I just thought like, it’ll be…

Brad Crowell  02:26

No. I thought it would be a couple months. (Lesley: Yeah) And then like, I figured that our trip that we had planned for later that year was gonna be fine and we were gonna be able to, you know, sell retreats and go and hang and (Lesley: Yeah) see our friends and family there.

Lesley Logan  02:39

Yeah, and I just, so anyways, the announcement here is we really miss Cambodia. I’ve been looking at pictures of the last five years of us going there and looking at all the different retreaters and just thinking about each person we met because that shared experience is something that you, like, you cannot repeat. Even though we keep going back to Cambodia, we’ve had several retreaters come back with us multiple times and it’s always a unique experience. And so, just so you know, we are going back someday. We are constantly refreshing the website to see if they’re letting us back in yet, (Brad: Yeah) and you will be the first to know when we can go back. (Brad: Yeah) So, Babe, (Brad: Tell me) we have an audience question to respond to. (Brad: Do we?) Do we?

Brad Crowell  03:23

We do.

Lesley Logan  03:24

Okay. So I’m gonna be honest, I made this question up because you may be wondering…I thought you might be wondering why we’re doing these debriefs. And this is our first week of the podcast and so you haven’t been able to ask us anything yet. And so, this is our little shameless plug to ask us anything you want! Big AMA, as Brad likes to say it (Brad: AMA), ask me anything, we can go AUA.

Brad Crowell 03:51

Ask us anything

Lesley Logan 03:52

Ask us anything.

Brad Crowell  03:56

Yeah, you could just DM us at the pod and ask (Lesley: Yeah, be_it_pod) you know, whether that’s a question about us, or whether it’s a question about, you know, I don’t know, business, Pilates, work life, you know, love, friends, dogs.

Lesley Logan  04:11

Why we got three dogs and how we feel about that. (Brad: cactuses) Brad knows a lot about cactuses at this point. Okay, so I thought you might want to know why we’re doing these debriefs and so I thought I would let Brad talk about it because we are big podcast listeners, and we love pods that have these.

Brad Crowell  04:26

Yeah, I mean, we both… it’s definitely a borderline obsession, the amount of podcasts that I listen to at least.

Lesley Logan  04:37

Oh yeah, well once you taught me about…once I got okay with listening on 1.5, and you don’t have to listen to us on 1.5. I’m a fast talker, so…

Brad Crowell  04:47

Yeah, I listen to things on 2.0 and I blast through these different pods and I feel like I’m going back to college, half the time and then I’m actually able to get through the news that I want to get through every day, (Lesley: Yeah) which, you know, before I never had…who has time to sit down, plop themselves in front of a TV for an hour, and listen to one person? Come on. I can get through that hour program, I can get through two of those one hour programs while I’m walking the dogs. I mean..

Lesley Logan  05:14

Yeah, and also the ones we listened to were on TV, and then they took the commercials out so it’s even shorter. (Brad: Yeah) Yeah, no, when I’m on my run and I’m listening to my news podcast I’m like, I just have to remember that when they say tonight it was last night, you know, I got to keep my dates in line, but anyways…

Brad Crowell  05:30

Yeah I think the bigger point is that we, because when we walk, we get the chance to chat each other up on the things that we are learning about and discovering and whatever. And we thought that it would, there’s always a commentary to the pod or commentary to the news or commentary to the book that we’re listening to and I was excited about the interviews that you’ve been doing, and I started talking to you about them and you were excited. And you were telling me about them and I was like, we should just have another episode that’s where we’re kind of talking about what you discovered or what you covered with your guests.

Lesley Logan  06:15

Basically, you are in on the dog walk without the dogwalk. And it’s so fine because I love hearing what Brad’s takeaway of something that I also experienced because he sees the world in a much different light than I do. And so, if you are a “I’m a big ideas, big vision person,” he definitely likes to go, Okay, but how do we do that? He gets really into the nitty gritty. When he said you can ask about cactuses, you can ask him about cactuses. You can ask me and I’ll be like, well I like the ones that look like this, I like the one that’s like a cigar. You know I don’t even know what they’re called. So, that’s why he’s here. (Brad: It’s a Saguaro) Thank you, you can say that one more time, it sounds so pretty. So he’s here because A) I love spending time with him and B) I thought it’d be so fun for you to hear us talk about these interviews and what our takeaways are and get to different perspectives. And so with that. (Brad: Awesome) Let’s get into this interview, but before we do, here’s a deal. You may not know what it is that you want to be right now or we want to do right now or any of the things that, like, make you excited about life, but I promise you that when you prioritize your time for yourself, that things will show up for you that there’s a practice to prioritizing yourself and I fully believe that my Pilates practice is me showing the universe that I prioritize me and how I feel and connecting my mind and body and so with that, I want to give you a free class at OnlinePilatesClasses.com/beit. So that’s OnlinePilatesClasses.com/b e i t. Okay.

Lesley Logan  08:03

And now

Brad Crowell  08:05

Let’s talk about Amy Leadin. Oh, sorry. Let’s talk about Amy Ledin.

Lesley Logan  08:10

I know, we did this, I did this to her

Brad Crowell 08:12

On the pod?

Lesley Logan 08:12

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 08:13

I heard that and now 

Lesley Logan 08:13

I know.

Brad Crowell  08:14

And then I literally did it.

Lesley LOgan  08:15

You just did, and here’s why. This is the thing, y’all, I said it one way, and you’re like no I think it’s another way. This is like two years ago. And better yet, and I’m like no, no, it’s this way. And we had this discussion back and forth. And then I heard her on another podcast and that host must have said it the other way, and then we’ve convinced ourselves that was one way, and even when I hear her on her podcast I don’t hear her say it the right way and then I freaking did it to her and I was like, oh my god I’m so embarrassed. And we just did it again. So, you know what? You’re never gonna forget how to spell it.

Brad Crowell  08:49

Well, Amy is, I mean, she’s awesome. She is unbelievably inspirational as a human being, as a mom, as a cancer survivor, as I mean, what an incredible outlook on life. When, when, you know, slogging through some really emotionally devastating situations. And she bears her soul on her own podcast, she is the host of F* it, and she’s an online wellness trainer. She has been an online wellness trainer for more than a decade. She has the most amazing mindset hacks. She loves to share those hacks and the tips and tricks that she has used over the past seven years as she fought cancer, and won! (Lesley: Yeah) She just recently got news that she’s cancer free. (Lesley: Yeah.) And, man, it’s just jaw dropping to listen to her.

Lesley Logan  09:51

She’s something. She’s so special to both of us as a friend. And I remember last Fall when she told me she had cancer again, it was so hard not to just cry, because on the call with her…because she’s just a dear person in my life and I have calls with her every other week. (Brad: Yeah) But I couldn’t do that because I know that she is a mindset queen and she can’t have anyone to think anything negative, rather it’s like a negativity free zone around ‘oh my god is she gonna die’ like none of those. You can’t. So I just had to like… And I think that was really helpful for me. It was like okay, I got to be strong right now, and we’re going to think positively right now. And it was a good, good lesson for me even though I wasn’t one actually going through it. And now she is cancer free and we talk about that in the podcast. So let’s talk about something that I loved in the interview. She said that it is so important to find one good thing in the middle of the mud and I freakin’ love this, y’all. In my coaching group for fitness business instructors, we have a rule. You can have a moment – it’s called ‘I Need A Moment’ in the channel – you can have a moment, but I literally will go back, even the person I can tell cried when writing the post, and go…after all the love and I see you and this is awful..I will go, “Don’t forget to post your win.” You’ve got to find something good in the middle of the mud. You’ve got to find a win in your day. Because our brain, it really does search out for things we believe to be true and that’s why because (this is where we have to be very careful) because thoughts become facts really quick. The more you think something, the more you believe it to be true, and then you just by sheer nature, we want to confirm how true we are, so we seek out the information to prove ourselves correct and we actually don’t see any of the other stuff. And so, in the middle of the mud, what is one good thing that’s happening? Like, when I was homeless and without a car I was like, what’s one good thing right now? Well, I don’t have to clean the kitchen.

Brad Crowell  12:02

Yeah. I love this. I want to call it an analogy, but now it could, it’s an analogy, I love this analogy because, I think we can kind of  take it one step further, in the middle of the mud. That your mind will create a stepping stone that you will use while you’re going through or going across the mud, right, and that stepping stone is your choice. What kind of stone it’s going to be. And it will be negative or positive. It depends on what you dwell on. So, even though there’s the mud and all the crazy that’s happening with life and things are difficult and tragic, that stepping stone you create will be the thing you’re dwelling on. So if you’re focused only on the negative, that stepping stone, your mind is going to look back and remember, oh this stepping stone that’s what got me through it. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? And if your focus is on how bad and how life is happening, everything sucks and it’s the worst. Or, you can look at this and it’s your choice to look at it and go, there was still a silver lining, I know that’s another one, but there was a good thing that happened here, and your mind will dwell on that instead and instead looking back on the path, you can go wow look at how crazy that mud was, but that one lifeline got me through.

Lesley Logan  13:31

Yeah, I agree and I think I hear a lot of parents who do two roses one thorn or whatever…that kind of thing and I think, I hope they go the reverse though I hope they do a thorn and then two roses because that’s really good. Here I am telling parents this is how you got to do it but the truth is our subconscious is really malleable and it needs double the positivity to outweigh the negativity, and I sometimes, I have friends who will remind me. They’re like, Lesley, you were homeless two other times before that. And I was like, I was because I wasn’t focused on what was happening to me. That was negative. I was focused on what was happening for me that was positive, and those things and how they’re helping me get closer to where I’m going. And so sometimes I have to have friends remind me of the crap that I’ve survived. I’m like, oh wow I’m even more awesome…but anyways, the point is, find one good thing in the middle of the mud, that was my favorite.

Brad Crowell  14:23

Yeah, I think it’s great.

Lesley Logan  14:25

What did you love that she said?

Brad Crowell  14:28

Well, I found. She said something at the very end, which she just kind of threw in there, and she was like, “Well, you know, my inner bitch versus my inner boss.” and I was like, huh? I thought that was hilarious, first off. And then I thought, man, that’s the, like we all have the angels on your shoulder kind of a thing where in our minds we have that mental conversation with ourselves. I know you mentioned before talking about negotiating with yourself. Your inner bitch versus your inner boss. It’s like negative self talk versus being it. Right? Be it. Right? And in her example she was talking about how she uses her…her inner bitch is definitely noticing things that she’s frustrated with, right? (Lesley: Yeah) And then she again chooses how she’s going to view that with this ‘finding that one good thing in the mud’. But her inner boss goes, alright well, if my inner bitch is so frustrated with this, then tomorrow, I’m going to make this change so that…because it’s clearly…this is bothering me. What am I going to do about it? I’m going to do this about it. And she’s very intentional about it. And then she has a lot of different tips and tools that she talked about with writing things down and she has her cards and she has all these other things that she does and she focuses on it, she identifies it with their inner bitch, she focuses on it with her inner boss and then decides what she’s going to do about it and I thought that was pretty awesome.

Lesley Logan  16:17

Yeah, I agree. I, first of all, that already to me is an action step – and we haven’t even gotten to the action steps – (Brad: Yeah, yeah) but we have that self talk, all of us do. You can call it your inner bitch, you can call it, you know, the devil on your shoulder, you can call it your negative self-talk. But whatever you’re saying to yourself, is something that is bothering you, about you, and the best way to like squash that isn’t to just listen to it until it’s done. No, it’s just gonna keep getting louder. It’s like okay, well, what action steps can I take to quell that because it’s obviously something that’s bothering me. That’s what she said. It’s her boss moment. So freakin’ love that. I love that it made you go, hmm? You can’t see my head but he tilted his. Yeah. Alright, so now I want to talk a little bit about the action items that Amy Ledin said she recommends to ‘being it’. So Brad, what is your favorite action item?

Brad Crowell  17:13

Yeah, I mean, remember the B.E.I.T, you know, what bold executable intrinsic and targeted action items can we take away from that convo that you have with her. There was something that I thought was really interesting. She talked about software updates. And (Lesley: Of course you love this) Yeah, I mean, clearly that’s what I gravitate to anything tech, right, but I thought that was fascinating. What she described she said, when she has a win, she goes back and takes notes on her win. She writes down what the problem was and then she writes down what the solution was, and not just the solution but how her life benefited from the solution. Like how, what changes did she see in her own life, when that happened, and it’s, and then she puts it on a card and she puts that card in a drawer. And this must be her win drawer or her whatever, you know, her software updates drawer because when she is really having a hard day, she goes back to that drawer, pulls out that card, and then reads it. And it’s this incredible way to reset, you know. She called it a software update but basically, it really reminds herself of something that was tangible, that was so positive in her life, so she can again dwell on the positive instead of wallow in the negative. And I thought, man, that is just a really incredible life hack. (Lesley: Yeah) A mental life hack.

Lesley Logan  18:59

Yeah. She, I mean, every time I get to do a call with her I get these little tidbits cuz she just talks about how she does it. She literally does these things and she lives them so much, she just talks about them like everyone does it. (Brad: Yeah, yeah) And  she’s like, yeah you know when you do your software…I’m like yeah when I do those, note to self. Like, if she can…y’all, if you’re like, I don’t know she does it all. She is, she just has a lot of boundaries and she’s very intentional and that’s how she can do it all. That’s how she can do this with five kids. I don’t have five kids so I could probably find the time to write my software updates down. And I highly, if you do that please tag us on the pod on Instagram @be_it_pod and let us know. So maybe my biggest takeaway was, she was like go all in on ‘being it’. Which this, I forgot about this… So her whole thing was like if you lose the weight, get rid of the clothes because otherwise you’re subconsciously hanging onto that old stuff. She’s an online fitness trainer and she’s lost over 100 pounds and kept it off. And she’s shared how like one of the times she lost weight she didn’t get rid of the clothes and of course and then she ended up…that’s telling her brain this isn’t real yet, this isn’t staying, this isn’t going to last. I remember when I left my job in retail, I went to the Lululemon store with money I didn’t have, to get at least two weeks worth of leggings and tank tops and everything so that I was like, you’re a teacher now. And so you have all these, like, this is your work wardrobe now. Because before, my workout wardrobe was dresses and jeans and shoes and like all these things and jewelry like I had, I have so much jewelry, I still have it. But that was my work wardrobe so I had to…I had to go all in and make sure that…like this is that you have enough clothes to do this job, and so I love that I think that whatever it is that you’re wanting to do, if you’re like I want to go all in on my health and wellness, then go through your cupboards, go through your schedule, like, make sure that your wellness is scheduled in, go all in on being it, I love it.

Brad Crowell  21:02

I think that’s really interesting, I think there’s a couple…that makes me think of…I kind of never went all in on working in startup companies. I always kept one foot in the restaurant world still. Like, I kept a restaurant job, even though I had a full time job during the week, I still would work Friday or Saturday night at a restaurant. I did it for years. I worked in restaurants for 13 years and probably for six of those years I also had a full time job, because I never truly believed that my full time job was actually going to stick around and pay the bills. I mean, I was working in a volatile environment, but I, I never truly committed. In fact, I still have my name tag from working in a restaurant.

Lesley Logan  21:56

And how…so let’s just talk about how that didn’t help you. Like, you obviously were probably working a lot, and then, (Brad: Oh yeah), so you were not sleeping that much, and…

Brad Crowell  22:08

You know how good I am at sleeping. (Lesley: Yeah) But no, certainly not.

Lesley Logan  22:11

Yeah, so I mean like can you, can you tell everyone like why, why that probably…like if you look back and you can see, is there anything you go, gosh I, maybe I probably…maybe these things would have gone a different way or maybe my life would have gone a different way if I had just gone all in?

Brad Crowell  22:26

Yeah, I think it, you know, it comes down to the subconscious decision making factor. Right? Like I could always just say, whatever I just can go back and work in food. Right? Or, you know, when you’re pushing really hard to make the business work. Maybe instead of going that extra mile, you just think like, alright, well if this doesn’t work out, it’s okay. (Lesley: Right) And that’s not good for you.

Lesley Logan  22:59

That doesn’t make you go like that doesn’t make you take the big risk or do the thing or really go big on it because you’re…

Brad Crowell  23:07

I certainly wasn’t being bold, that’s for sure. I think that’s another thing. Another thing…I was thinking about this…before. So basically, I think, how’s this applicable to people in the fitness world? You know, there’s always a moment in our career, our service industry career, where we begin to resent our customer, our client. Probably because they’re assholes and they demand so much and they don’t appreciate us and it builds this amazing resentment. (Lesley: Tell me how you really feel), I mean I didn’t work, I didn’t work as a teacher but I worked as a, I had a web development company, and sometimes I was like my stupid clients need to just like…they need to learn how to make a post all by themselves or they’re not appreciating me or whatever it might be. And I decided, like, I heard this guy, make this…he was speaking to a crowd and I happened to be there at the event. And he said, you know, when I left this incredibly stressful job that literally landed me in the hospital with an anxiety attack, and I wasn’t even 40 years old. He said when I got out of that, he said the first thing I did was I sold my company, and then I made this amazing decision that I was no longer going to work with assholes. Those assholes whether they were my friends, my business partner, my family, my clients, I wasn’t going to take them on. I wasn’t going to partner with them, work with them, nothing. He said, I want an asshole free life, because I don’t need that shit in myself, in me.

Lesley Logan  24:49

To me that is so bold and so intrinsic and like that’s ‘being it’ because when you draw a line in the sand, and you burn the boats like Tony Robinson (Brad: Burning the boats, yeah) you like, you’d make different decisions in your business.

Brad Crowell  25:02

Well, it was scary for me because the first thing like I was sitting there, as I had this web dev company thinking, Man, I want to fire five clients, literally right now. And I was like, but I can’t. I need the money. Right? And so like it was this fascinating, okay cool, I gotta start to shift here. But while I didn’t just go like scuttle my entire income. What I did do was I decided at the moment – Okay, any future client that comes on, I’m going to love them. I don’t need a shouting match with the client, I don’t need someone who’s gonna threaten that they’re gonna sue me. Like, I had some crazy things happening because I needed the money. And I, and I made the decision at the time, that that’s not gonna happen anymore at this point. I’m going to only work with people who are awesome, and then slowly get rid of those clients as I replace them with new ones.

Lesley Logan  25:52

I love that you share this because I think that is really a great example of what will happen to you if you don’t go all in on ‘being it’ because had, like, not to judge, like how you ran your website business but had you been really bold from the outside, even though you needed the money and said, these are the only clients I will work with this is how you work with me if you want to work with me, this is how you treat me and how I will treat you. These are the expectations we can have. If you went into it like that with that bold, this is who I’m going to be in my web development business, you probably wouldn’t have had those crazy clients, but when we are half in or we’re a little worried, or we’re like, not trusting of the outcome, we tend to make excuses for things. We bend our own rules, we say yes to things we probably wouldn’t have said yes to.

Brad Crowell  26:40

Well look, I also, you know, I don’t think I knew any better. (Lesley: Oh, that’s also true) You know, like the one when we first started out, I think there’s a sense of confidence, like the mindset side, like there’s two, there’s only two parts to the businesses: what how you think and what you do, right? So I thought, if I could just get a client I can slowly leave my job. Right? So that’s how I thought. So then when I went out to go get a client, I was like, You’re gonna pay me? Yes, I’ll take the gig. Right? Whatever I was like. Then I was like, there’s someone else who’s gonna pay me, then there’s someone else who’s gonna pay me. Okay, this is great! I mean, I was working way too much for hardly enough money with clients who sucked. And then slowly over time I began to realize these people actually need me, they can’t do this without me. I’m working two times as much for the pay that I’m getting. And these people suck, so I mean that took, unfortunately for me that took years.

Lesley Logan  27:45

Yeah, I think the best thing though is that like anyone listening to this who’s like, ugh, do I have to go through that? You don’t. You actually just heard (Brad: You do not) how shitty it got and went for him, so you can actually learn that. And, you know something that someone told me, they didn’t tell me, this is how much I listened to my podcasts, they were like in my ear and I’m like, thank you…like we were having a conversation…and they said, this host said on their podcast. you can’t use the excuse ‘you don’t know how to do the thing’ anymore. Like, if this is what you want to do, enter whatever it is you’re trying to work on right now, then you need to act as if you are the person (basically be it), and then being that person, what would they do if they do if someone asked them this question? So if you are going all in on being X, and you’re like, I don’t even know what X, X does it, then you use Google and you find podcasts with people who’ve done the thing that you want to do, you find interviews with people who’ve done the thing you want to do, and you actually do the research because guess what, when you are the boss, when you are truly being it, there are a lot of things I don’t know how to do. And I don’t go, I can’t do it, I don’t know how, or I don’t go, let me…

Brad Crowell  28:58

We would never move our company forward if we didn’t just make things up.

Lesley Logan  29:03

Yeah. Or like let me just swim over here in a bunch of mistakes for a while. No, I go all in and I go super bold and then I ask the internet questions to get the answers that I need to do the executable things to figure out the targeted next steps, and then I filter it through the intrinsic value of why I’m here to do what I do, so that is my tips, our tips on going all in on being it because it can be really nice to hear “Go in, be on being it. You do you. You do you, boo.” But like, the truth is that I hope what you heard and Brad’s example in my example is like actual examples of how to go all in on being it and I’m just so grateful that you’re here. Thank you for listening to us. Thank you for letting us be part of your life. You could be doing a lot of things right now and we’re so grateful to spend part of your time with you. So, we are so grateful. Keep coming back, keep sharing this podcast, tag us on Instagram @be_it_pod with your takeaways. We will reshare those and we just want to get to know who you are more, and, and how you’re using these tips and then you know, catch us on the next episode. Thank you so much.

Brad Crowell  30:12

All right. Cheers.

—

Lesley Logan

That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast!

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—

Lesley Logan 

‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell

It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell

And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.