Shownotes

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In this episode you will learn about:

• How you limit the one on one coaching and still increase biz.
• Where does the fear trip you up?
• Recognizing how fear and anxiety shows up in your life.
• Is it possible to outlearn a fear?
• The value in coaching to grow in a specific direction.

References/Links:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmancoaching/
• Goodman Coaching Website: https://goodmancoachinginc.com/
• Relentless Growth Podcast: https://goodmancoachinginc.com/relentless-growth/

Transcript

INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Okay, so my Be It listeners. I am so excited for you to listen to this interview. I’m so excited. I am jumping for joy to be honest. I’m blushing a little with just like I’ve had this person’s name on the list of people I want to talk to for a really long time. He probably is listening going “we could have talked sooner” . Which … but I his talk that he did in 2019 really impacted me in a way that no other talk about fear had. Like it, I understood it in a way that I had never felt understand it before. I could articulate it, I could catch myself, I could actually do it. I could I could do the things he’s going to tell you to do, in a way that I never really could before and I was living in this life where I had all these amazing ideas, but fear was paralyzing me and if you are feeling stuck, if you are feeling like I have amazing ideas and you get stuck, you know you hear it in the intro. I hope you hear it in the intro. You might skip forward and that’s okay. No, I’m not I take no offense, but we I say it in the intro. You know, action is the antidote to fear and clarity comes from action. But it’s really hard to do that when the fear is greater than you. And so, I have an amazing coach for you. I’ve been, he’s got such great words. You’re going to want to save this episode. Put it on replay, share it with a friend. Here is Chris Goodman.

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Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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EPISODE

Lesley Logan
All right, Be It listeners, I am so excited. I have been talking about Chris to you guys since I think the first podcast and I’m sure he, I don’t even know that he knows what an impact his talk gave. But I’m going to tell him right now. So he spoke to a group I was in a Mastermind, I was in with Chris and Lori Harder about the fears, like the five fears that we all go through. And it made so much sense to me, and really, like helped me understand like, which fears I was operating from, and it changed my world. And I was actually in Australia at the time, Brad was here and in states and he was watching and Brad’s like, “I don’t think I have any fears.” And Chris, like, kind of call him out a little bit. And it was so and like the kindest ways you’re gonna see. So I’m just really excited because you made a massive impact on our lives and how we talk to people, and now you’re here in their ears. So Chris Goodman, thanks for being here.

Chris Goodman
My pleasure. I feel so warm and cozy with that introduction and thank you. It’s always great to know that, you know, when you set out to help people as a coach that there are people like you guys who really not just get it turned around and share that that knowledge or that transformation with somebody else, so they can change their life to. That, that’s fantastic.

Lesley Logan
Well, I think, you know, we tell people a lot of times like some people like I can’t afford a coach and I can’t afford this. And it’s like, even if you are listening to someone speak, if you treat it like you paid for it, you treat it like it’s something and we did pay for that, but but when you treat it like that, you can you can learn from people all over the world. So Chris, what are you, what are you up to these days? I haven’t seen you in three years.

Chris Goodman
Yeah, it’s been so long. So so much has changed since we last talked, we moved out of California, we’re back in we live in Louisville, Kentucky now. So if you’re anywhere from that area, you know how I just pronounced that. I can tell immediately if somebody’s not from here because they’ll say Louisville or Lewisville, (Lesley laughs) we all say it like we’ve got a bunch of bourbon and marbles in our mouth. It’s just Louisville. So we’ve moved back here though, because our family is here. And when Lindsey and I just started, decided to start having children. We didn’t want to be 2000 miles away from our support network kind of thing. So we moved back, we now have a six month old daughter named Eva. (Lesley: Oh, my God.) As I speak, I think being laid down to take her second nap of the day. So that’s definitely the biggest change, changed everything in my life real fast. So that’s been fun. And we’re celebrating our third wedding anniversary here next month. We had just gotten married the last time we saw each other. (Lesley: Yeah.) So that’s how fast that happens. (Lesley: Wow.) Yeah, yeah. And Business is great. I have three parts to my business, the podcast, what we call Breakthrough Coaching. And the Mastermind, I do still have some one on one clients, I limit those to about five or six spots. But so between the Mastermind, the podcast and a an introductory level one on one coaching, it’s basically an agency model, right? I have coaches that I’ve trained and they work with people who haven’t quite risen up to the level of my coaching just yet. So things are busy, things are fantastic. And now we’re looking at how do we, you know, the perennial question, how do we help more people?

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Okay, so I definitely want to get into all the fear stuff that you know, you’re gonna such knowledge, but I have. So I have a couple questions because I think a lot of people go from like, you were doing mostly one on one to now you’re, you’re limiting how many one on ones. And what was, was that easy to do? (Chris: No.) Was there fears around that? Like, what was what was the bridge that you had to do? Because that is the … how do you help more people eventually, like we have a ton of people listening who are fitness instructors, they do a lot of one on ones who get limited really quickly. And then it’s like, “Well, how do I create more of me?” So how did you do that?

Chris Goodman
Well, I think it’s gonna look different for everybody because you know, a coaching business or any kind of service based business that requires your one on one attention, at least in the beginning. It’s so intimate, and it’s so easy to let that business get tied right into your identity, or right into what you love to do. And that’s been my sort of case for the last five years. I love one on one. All day long I could sit and coach one on one go one to the other and not get bored with it. So this has been actually an exercise in my own growth to get out of that that comfort zone and start to stretch and say like, “Yeah, you could do this and you can have fun doing it. But will you learn as much as if you tried to scale it this way or that way.” So it hasn’t been fast I have, I’m sure most of your listeners are like this, because they’re listening to a growth oriented podcast. I like my growth fast. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) I’m not super patient with my own growth, I can be patient with other people all day long. When it comes to me, though, I want it right now. So this has definitely been an exercise in patience, and, you know, scaling for the long haul, looking at that marathon perspective of what’s best for my clients, myself, my future self, my family, and how I scale out of one on one into things like a mastermind, or hiring other coaches and training them. So it’s probably more than you needed. But that’s, that’s …

Lesley Logan
Yeah. No, but I love that because it’s like, I think it’s really easy for some people to look at what you’re at right now. And I go, I can’t like, that’s not possible. How did like, how did that happen? You know, and I think, either they think it happened really fast, you snap your fingers and like, viole-la, it just all worked out. Or that’s how you started out. And it’s not usually true. Most people start out with the one on ones. And then there’s these growing pains of that it is a long process of trying to figure out how do you coach people to to be the best version of themselves, but do things the way that you would want them to be … (Lesley laughs)

Chris Goodman
Absolutely. And I would encourage anybody that’s comparing themselves to someone who has experienced rapid growth or rapid scaling, to call that person up and ask them about their profitability. (Chris laughs) Because some of the people, including in the coaching space that I’ve seen scaled the fastest, have a 5% margin if that. So if that’s what you’re going for, great, you know, more power to you. However, just don’t let that comparison eat you up, because you don’t have all the facts there. Right.

Lesley Logan
Thank you for saying that because that’s I would, you know, I remember even going back to like Chris and Lori, I was in there, my first mastermind with them. And they mentioned, she mentioned like people having like these six figure launches, and she’s like, “I’m not having a six figure launch. I’m having like, high five figures, but that’s not happening.” And then she found out like, they were also spending like 75% of what they made on ads. So they actually weren’t making six figures or making like, you know, not that 25,000 isn’t like anything to throw away. But like, that’s a (Chris: Yeah.) that’s that’s not you don’t have all the facts is what you’re is exactly what you’re saying. I definitely had to learn that like, of course, I want things to go faster, got bills to pay, I got people on payroll, but at the same time, like I also need to be profitable, so that when ish hits the fan, when things change, when stuff goes out of your control, you know, you can actually sustain for a little bit while you try to figure things out.

Chris Goodman
And that’s the fun part about being a business owner, right as you’re, you’re building that plane on the way down and figuring that out. So comparing yourself to someone else’s plane on their way down. Not really a great way to spend your time.

Lesley Logan
I love that you call that fun. That’s a fun thing about being a business owner is just like, like literally being in the air with an airplane and trying to build it as …

Chris Goodman
That weird just crazy enough to sign up for that kind of daily life. Right. (Chris laughs)

Lesley Logan
Okay, so, alright, so something that I would love for you to share our listeners with, if you if you can, is, is about fear, because I actually think that’s the biggest thing holding people back from doing everything, right, like anything that it can it can, they can have the best ideas and like the fear of just, for what we see a lot in our listeners was like fear of rejection, or fear of loss. So like, specifically, I coach a lot of Pilates instructors, and like, I’m like, “You have to raise your rates.” I’m like, “Okay, I’m gonna raise it $2.” And I’m like, “Okay.” (Chris: Yeah.) They’re like “I’m afraid I’ll lose clients.” And I’m like, “Over $2?” Over $2. Right. So can we talk about these fears? And like, how are they hindering us? And like, what are they keeping us from?

Chris Goodman
Oh, just everything you want. Happiness, peace, joy, profitability, success, family time, personal time. (Lesley: Yeah.) You know, I agree, I think it’s, it’s probably safe to say it’s the one thing that holds every human on the planet back in some capacity. So we can we can kind of revel in that, roll around in that and enjoy that because it’s like, oh, this is not unique to me. I’m not some, you know, freak of nature that it has to endure this particular type of suffering that only I understand. That’s not the case at all. So I would like to start at that foundational level that every single person is experiencing some sort of fear, whether they know it or not. And it boils down to, I know, we had talked about five types of fear before but it really boils down to two types of fear. At the end of the day, fear of loss, fear of gain. So your clients sometimes will experience both simultaneously. Right? I’ll, if I gain a few more dollars, I’ll lose all my clients. And you see that, that well you see the person experienced this like they are in a spiderweb. I can’t move because if I move this way, I’m going to bring down the thunder and the spider, right, if I move this way, I’m going to screw it up too. And so they don’t move at all, they get stuck in between the fear of gain and the fear of loss. Instead of realizing that neither of those fears have any teeth, it’s all in our head. Right. Because that thing hasn’t happened yet. You didn’t raise your rates and lose all your clients. You’re living in the future, not necessarily reality. Right. So when we coach people to start monitoring their thoughts, and catching this when it happens, like, oh, this is where I get freaked out, you know, every time I go to do this, that that particular voice in my head, I know it sound, make people sound like they have multiple personalities in that way. (Lesley laughs) But we do have those voices in our head. Don’t we? That the one (Lesley: Yeah.) that goes, “Don’t do that, you’ll lose all your clients. Don’t do this, you’ll go bankrupt.” Right. “Don’t do this, you’ll be alone for the rest of your life.” I think that’s the actual technique that we need to discuss is catching that in the moment. (Lesley: Yeah.) And just witnessing that with innocence, with neutrality, with curiosity. Oh, this is when I get scared. Oh, that voice is trying to scare me into doing something or not doing something and giving some space to yourself there. It feels really wonky at first like learning how to surf or learning how to ride a skateboard and you’re not going to be great at this the first few times give yourself some grace. However, the faster you can catch yourself in the moment, the faster you can choose a healthier way out that doesn’t involve so much pain and suffering or fear.

Lesley Logan
… I do understand why when you say like it’s not like multiple voices in our head. … we’d kind of do, like we have the some of the fears or voices of people who’ve put fears on us when we were kids. Some of the fears are like from when you were a little kid and something that like there’s these different reasons why you have these fears and but I understand that I and I the catching is the interesting part because I also think you can get really good at it and then you can also like almost regress and like pretend like you don’t know because I caught myself out. So okay, well backstory, we have been we’ve been in like supply chain nightmare with our product with flashcards. So most people know and also has been to get we have a deck of flashcards, exercises, and with the person we order with, they have someone who does the boxes, it’s a different company. So when we get in line, we’re in line with that company, then we’re into that company’s timeline and that company’s supply chain, and then our printer and our fulfillment house. He does the cards and he hosts all the products and ships that offer us, just amazing. Well, this summer of course we hit supply chain issues with the boxes, then with the cards and then the card guy is like, “You know what, I’m going to buy the machine that makes the boxes so I’ll have to put you in line with that person.” Great. That’s amazing. Sounds awesome. Multimillion dollar machine, like the length of half a football field, humongous. (Chris: Wow.) Like, “But now I gotta move my warehouse.” And I was like, “So do we have to do this right now? Can you just like use the old person still. Like, can we just do that anyways.” So we’re in we’re delayed, right? And we’ve been trying to get hold of like, what is the date cuz we want to have this big launch party, one of this big thing got to plan things. And so we were told who weeks ago would be on September 9. And then you know, it’s Labor Day and I’m like, “Hey, did we get confirmation?” Obviously not today because Labor Day. So Tuesday after Labor Day, we’re like, “Hey, what’s going on?” They’re like, “Yeah, we think it’s gonna happen.” I was like, “Oh, I …” (Chris: Yeah.) So like, the moment I hear that I’m across the house. So I’m … I’m in my office. I hear Brad talking. I was like, “Okay, can we get some confirmation little more solidified.” By the time I’m now over to his office I’m like, we’re gonna like disappoint everyone all again. Like it’s just gonna like be a nightmare. This is going to fall flat, I go down the hall. Now I have a fear because I’m like, “Oh crap, if we have to bump the launch it’s going to affect this other thing we’ve got going on. How we do that?” By the time right in the shower. I had this like full blown like everything is going to go wrong. And then I, I took the shower and I was like, “Actually it’s probably going to be fine. Like what’s what are we what are you worried about here?” So it’s so funny (Chris: Yeah.) because like your the fears can go so quickly, the conversation can happen like at lightspeed but if you are aware at catching it, like you can also catch it that fast and like by the time I got dressed, the whole thing was over with and it’s fine. It’s all everyone and by the time you heard this, it shipped fine. It was all done.

Chris Goodman
And do you feel the stress like gone out of your shoulders and you (Lesley: Yeah.) feel at ease again? Yeah, yeah.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, it is. It’s like a …

Chris Goodman
Well, it’s fascinating, isn’t it? Because you know, when when clients have never experienced coaching and they get started with us, this is obviously one of the first things we have to take them through because it’s inevitable. If you’re actually out there experiencing life, especially if you’re building a business, you’re going to have new fears because you’re going to be in different circumstances that that tug on these different things in your mind that are sensitive, like you know, you care about your clients, you care about your your business and your revenue. So yeah, as soon as something disrupts that it can feel a sudden overwhelming. And clients will be like, “What? So am I supposed to just be a robot? I’m not supposed to feel this. I’m supposed to just catch the fear and dissolve it immediately.” I’m like, “No, no, no, no.” We don’t want to neuter your humanity. Obviously, right? Like, we want you here for the whole thing, get mad, get sad, get triggered, it’s okay. It’s what happens after that. Right? It’s about how long do you want to suffer? How long do you want to be in fear? Because it is a choice. And that is, that’s the hard part is coming to terms with just how much authority and control you really have over your own emotion.

Lesley Logan
Okay, that’s, I really liked that. That’s very interesting. So thank you for sharing that. Because it’s it isn’t about like, just never feeling fear, because I think that’d be impossible. That would be required to be a robot and be almost … A yoga teacher, he always says, like, “You can’t have love without hate, cannot have peace without war, like you can’t have you can’t, you can’t be fearless without fear.: (Chris: Yeah.) Because you like there’s a balance, right? They have to exist in the there’s a coexistence there. So what would you say to someone who is like, “Okay, I’m, I understand. I’m going to feel the fear. I’m gonna feel these things.” And then like, what are the signs that they need to catch? Is it the body? Is it like, if there feeling tense? Like, what are the things they should look for if they’re new to discovering, like, when they’re in the fear mode?

Chris Goodman
Yeah, it’s a great question. Because I think one of the, the easiest ways to catch it is watch your breathing. And watch how you speak. So I have a client who who battles chronic anxiety. And when I say battle, I mean it really, it comes on and he has to fight back. And he knows this. So yesterday, we were on a mastermind call. And he started explaining what was going on in his world. And he starts pacing. He’s got earbuds in and he’s pacing on the call. He, his words are tight and short, like, and I can hear the almost hyperventilating. I mean, if I put him on mute, you would be able to tell he was stressed. So for anyone listening, who’s starting to monitor for themselves for those cues, you can tell like, listen to how deeply I just breathe in like I’m at ease right now. I’m not you don’t stress me out. I know, you might try to scare me, but … (Lesley and Chris laughs) Right. And I tend to speak kind of slowly because I’m from the south yet at the same time, when I get stressed, I speak in like, bullets comes really fast and my chest gets tight on my shoulders pull up and you can maybe listener may not see me but my face gets wrinkled. Simple cues that I can check in with myself and I, okay, what am I this is this is the actionable part listener. What am I thinking? What am I feeling? Two simple questions to get right into it. I’m thinking, everything’s screwed up. Everything’s gonna go wrong. We’re gonna go broke. I’m a mess. I’m a terrible business owner. I’m a terrible person. I’m feeling tight. I’m feeling stress. I’m feeling anger. Okay. Now, the next part is just simply accepting that. Okay, that’s not a problem. What if that’s not a problem? What if it’s not a problem? You thought your business is gonna go under because you had supply chain issues. (Lesley: Right.) What if it was actually a good thing that your brain is doing its damnedest to protect you. Right? (Lesley: Yeah.) And to get you to do what the brain does, move, or not move. Go, fight or flight there. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. So we can give the brain credit like, “Okay, brain I see. And all this is happening in a millisecond, by the way. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. For someone like me, who has been doing this for 10 years, I still go through this, I had a coaching call with one of my three coaches that I have this morning. And we were talking about this exact same thing. But what I want to do next in business and what it’s dragging out of me, like fears, I didn’t know I had, fears that I never thought I would have to figure out because I’ve never thought about it before. So when you get really good at it, you get lots of reps at it, you catch it in the moment you go, okay, brains working to protect me, brains making body get in line to fight or flight there, freeze or bite, (Lesley: Yeah.) as one of my mentors likes to say, right? And when you accept that and go okay, that what if that’s not a problem? You take that power back immediately go, “What do I want to do? Do I want to …” Do you want to get in the shower and all that with all that stress? Maybe, right? Maybe you just need to process it for a minute. What do you think?

Lesley Logan
Yeah, okay, so that one, I think, I don’t know. I hope everyone listening feels very normal, And (Chris: Yeah.) and seen and also like it is I’ll share this. I was having some issues in my stomach recently. And I was telling my holistic doctor, I’m like, “I’m just, you know, this is going on.” And she’s like, “Okay, well, you know, what’s going on in your life?” And I was like, “Well, this is happening. This is happening and like this company called and now they threw this wrench into it, because now I’m like, do I want that thing? I don’t know if I want that thing. I didn’t know that was even an option. But now I’m like, do I want it?” and she’s like, “So your body is reacting, normally (Chris: Right. Yeah.) to all the things. So we can absolutely give you supplements, we can give you some assistance through this, but really your body’s just doing it supposed to do.” And I think that that is something that we tend to forget that that fear that your body, pacing or getting short of breath or getting a little stressed out, it’s basically your body’s responding to what it’s supposed to do. And so that just makes it’s actually really good that your body and your brain are working together, (Chris: Yeah.) because they’ll work together in other ways. And I think, I think what do I want … I think, I think what I hoped for, and like what I’m always trying to do is like, catch it before it goes for more than a few minutes. (Chris: Yeah.) Or an hour because …(Chris: Or a couple of days, sometimes. Yeah.) couple days. Yeah. Like I, I’m like I don’t, I’m okay with feeling it. But I want to get, I want to get better at catching it before I end up on a call with someone on my team. Or you know what I mean? Because they don’t need me giving them advice or strategies or next steps. Based off the fear I have, like if I tell my newsletter person something basic, because I’m in fear. (Chris: Yeah.) Now, she writes a newsletter based off like the thing that I’m feeling. So I personally want to just get better at catching it once while it’s happening before I engage with other people that could start a domino effect of things that I don’t want to happen.

Chris Goodman
That’s right. No, it’s such a great point, because people tend to discount how much a decision rooted in fear will create results rooted in fear. Right. And you see, I imagine many of your Pilates instructors who are going through this right now that they’ve been so conservative in their pricing, even though they’re bringing tremendous value, that they keep making decisions, like backing away from the fear. And so they keep getting people who want to pay bottom dollar prices, right? And so they get clients who are not maybe necessarily respectful of their time, or do the exercises they tell them to do or, or whatever. I worked with lots of Physical Therapists. And this seems to be a a trend that, you know, when we are in fear, and we make a decision like, well, I can’t raise rates, because then I’ll lose clients. They’re definitely not doing anything to attract the people who want to pay at a for instance, premium and luxury price for a luxury service. And so they don’t get those people, those people go somewhere else. And then it’s sort of a race to the bottom.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, … You definitely call them out. (Lesley and Chris laughs)

Chris Goodman
Well, let me say it this way. But I mean that (Lesley: But I love that. I love that they hear from you.) was love and confusion. Because there’s there’s nothing wrong with you for doing that. You simply have not I use this example all the time. You just haven’t learned you don’t know what you don’t know. If you and I you live in Los Angeles, correct. (Lesley: I’m in Las Vegas now. We moved here.) Oh, I didn’t realize that. (Lesley: Yeah.) Okay, (Lesley: Yeah.) well, it’s still Los. It’s okay. (Lesley laughs) So I used to live in Manhattan Beach in LA. And when I would go down to the beach with my wife, you know, we’d see people plan sometimes little kids down in the surf. And I always use this example that, you know, sometimes people would bring a baby out to put their feet in the water for the first time and you know, experience the ocean for the first time and the baby would start crying. Freaking out, right? Sometimes toddlers freaking out because a) the water’s cold, b) they’ve never seen anything that big and uncontrollable and have no idea what’s going on. And so they’re in a state of genuine fear. Nobody on that beach is looking at that baby going, “idiot like this stupid or like, this is just water. It’s just like, it’s not even deep.” Nobody’s judging that person. Because we have such compassion. They just don’t know what they don’t know. Somewhere along the lines, we forget that. And we bring all this judgment into the equation that we should know better. As a business owner, we should know better, because we got divorced before and now we shouldn’t mess up dating now or whatever your story is, right? Instead of going back to that real compassion that, “Hey, maybe you just haven’t outlearned this fear yet.”

Lesley Logan
So is it possible to outlearn a fear?

Chris Goodman
I think so. I I genuinely believe it is. I I’ll pick on myself. For for an example here, I went through a really nasty divorce in 2015. That’s putting it lightly. And I started dating my current wife in 2017. And of course, as we got serious, I started to have fears. Well, what if what if we fall in love and get married and blows up like the last one did. Right? I had to out learn that fear, I had to outgrow I think outgrow is probably a better term. And the only way I could do that was by facing it head on. So when the time came to let Lindsey my wife know how serious I was and how committed to this relationship was I told her I said, “You know, I think this is really going somewhere.” And she said, “Well that’s that’s tough because I’m not sure it is. And I I have a lot of fears. And I have a lot of doubt right now.” And I said, I didn’t even think I just blurted it out. I said, “Well, that really sucks because I’m in love with you.” And talk about running into your fear headlong. I mean, tell somebody that just told you they’re not sure about the relationship that you love them. And put your heart out there to get stomped on. And she she looked like I threw paint all over. She was just like, “What? You know, like I’m growing antlers, what?” And this look washed over her face. And her eyes welled up with tears. And she said, “I’m in love with you, too. I’m just terribly afraid right now. I’m so afraid.” And so we use this as an example all the time when we do podcasts, because we’re both afraid. She had had bad relationships, failed relationships, two relationships that went four years each. So it’s not like we have somehow strapped on this armor as coaches that allows us to walk through anything with no fear, not the case. It is that we accept it as sort of a mission to run headlong into it. And all the discomfort that comes with it, and outgrow it anyway.

Lesley Logan
Thank you, for that’s a beautiful story by the way. I love it. I love it so much. And I know Brad’s gonna really enjoy that because I think he can definitely resonate with the fears and in relation to moving forward. I’ll tell this quick story, my and he asked my dad, if, if he can, you know, propose to me, my dad goes, “Well, don’t be surprised if she says no.” That’s not my dad’s response is. (Chris: Really.) Yeah. So when you meet him, he’s such a funny person. But he’s so anyways, when Brad proposed, we were camping. And really long story short, one friend of his his best friend, business partner had proposed the night before. His other best friend was talking about how he’s going to get engaged and like his future wife was not with us, but he’s telling us the whole story and how he’s gonna plan it. So when I wake up in this tent, and like, after a nap, he’s like, “Do you want to get married?” I just thought he was like, engagement happy. Like, I didn’t actually, I just thought like, “Oh, everyone’s getting married. So you want to get married?” And I was like, “Are you serious?” And that … I’m so like, literally, what my dad said, it was like in his head.

Chris Goodman
Oh, it just washes over him. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. Right. Yeah.

Lesley Logan
And he’s like … Yeah. Okay, yeah, then he pulled the ring out. And I was like, “Are you fuckin kidding me?” Could have led with that I would have known you were serious. (Chris and Lesley laughs) I would have known that was for real. (Chris: Could have led with that. I love it.) Yeah. So though, um, but I think I love that you share that because we can replace what fear of a relationship be going a different … or going through a divorce, with anything with like anything, like if you’re afraid of like, some of the growth in your business or trying something new or leaving a job, it’s like you kind of do have to figure out a way to face that fear and take that next step. Which is, that’s the hard part is like, what’s the next step sometime.

Chris Goodman
No. And that’s just it as you have to, you must become bigger than that fear. It doesn’t necessarily have to go away forever, you just have to get bigger than that fear. I did a reel a couple of weeks ago, that kind of hit and it was basically that that so many of us get caught up living in the past. Right. And thinking that that fear meet this thing means that fears coming back to get me. This relationship means that old fear of loss, you know, of heartbreak is coming back to get me again, and we coach our clients so hard on us to realize and appreciate that the past is dead. And you can leave it there. If you choose to. You get to choose, that’s what most people are never told. Right?

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Yeah. Chris, you’re so friggin awesome. (Chris: Yeah, thank you.) I’m obsessed with you.

Chris Goodman
Thank you, thank you. I can do this all day. I love it.

Lesley Logan
I know, I know, we’re def… I felt like we’re gonna have to do this again. So we’re gonna take a brief break, and then we’re to find out how people can talk with you and work with you more.

So where can people find you, watch your reels, listen to your podcast, where are you hanging out?

Chris Goodman
Well, if I’m not kayaking, and on some creek here in Kentucky, you can find me at @goodmancoaching G o o d m a n on Instagram. My wife is a big Instagram person. So I have become by proxy and Instagramer now. You know, if you’re serious about coaching, there’s there’s two ways to get into my world there. The first one I would invite you into is and your listening here. So chances are you like this. It’s a podcast called Relentless Growth. You can tell I am all about personal growth, business growth and expanding how much we can achieve and accomplish without sacrificing all of our happiness along the way. So I interview people, great people, I need to have you guys on actually (Lesley: Yeah.) and we talked about so many different topics, but at the end of the day, it always comes back to that intersection of personal growth meets business growth and what happens there. And then if you’re serious about coaching, that’s a different consideration, I would just start at goodmancoachinginc.com. And you’ll see the links, right, when you hit the page of how to work with us, you know, either one on one coaching or group format. And like I said, I really love, love, love what I do. So if there’s some other type of coaching or some other type of help, that you’re listening and think, you know, I want to learn more, shoot me a message. And I’ll happily assure you to one of my many great friends around the world who do this for a living too.

Lesley Logan
Ah, thank you so much. We’ll have all those links below. Okay, BE IT action items, bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What, what do we got from you?

Chris Goodman
I’d say two things really simple. Number one, hire some kind of coach. And I imagine many of your previous guests have said, “Find a mentor, find a coach.” I would be silly to not lead with that. I mean, this is this is have you ever heard the saying be a product of your product?

Lesley Logan
No. Well, I maybe I have but I but yeah, tell me more.

Chris Goodman
Well, essentially, if I if I sell coaching, but I don’t believe in coaching enough to hire my own coach, what does that say about my belief in coaching. So if you’re out there feeling like you’re ready to grow in some kind of direction, find somebody and like you said at the beginning of the podcast, even if it’s free in the beginning, fully commit to it and see yourself working with that person, until you can make it, right, until you can hire them. And then the second would be what we’ve talked about is learn to witness your own thoughts. It, it sounds like such a soft skill, like such a vague, and you said, external or extrinsic actionable item, I think this is the most important thing somebody can do to grow exponentially. And because we could pack on action all day long, if you’re not mindful of what’s happening inside, you can be miserable the whole time. How many successful people do you know who are actually secretly miserable, right? A lot. And if (Lesley: Yeah, unfortunately.) at the end of the day if they could just learn to witness those thoughts, they could learn how to change it. And that’s our work. That’s where everything starts, so that you can get whatever you want.

Lesley Logan
I love that. We got a nice little intrinsic action step, which I love. There’s, unfortunately, rare versions of those. And I think that that’s sometimes the best next step for people. And I agree in the as a Pilates teacher, I have Pilates teacher. (Chris: Yeah. Right.) You know, and, and if you’re listening to this, you’re like, “But I’m a new teacher, and I can’t afford it.” Yeah. So that’s what my platform is for onlinepilatesclasses.com. And you can just, I can be your teacher online, or whatever you want. (Chirs: Yeah, yeah.) Or anyone can doesn’t have to me. And so I, I really love all of those. And I think I think they’re not as easy to apply, but we can find ways to apply them now. You don’t have to necessarily wait. You can use a po… a person’s podcast to be and dislike, they, if you listen to a podcast, you’ll hear, you listen to Chris’ podcast, you’ll hear him say things and you can and write that question down and go back and do it and do the work. Because if you can do it with without having the accountability to do it, when you do get that accountability, (Chris: Yeah.) it’s going to be like crazy. One of our, one of the coaches we work with, we couldn’t afford her at the time, but we met her through Chris and Lori and we took what she said what she taught us. And we literally ran the plan that she taught, like, okay, I wrote the plan now. We ran it and we made enough money to hire her. We’re like, “Okay, we made the money, we can hire you now.” (Lesley laughs)

Chris Goodman
Right. I love how you kind of boomerang there and came back to it because there’s no, I think there is this stigma or misconception that there are rules of like how this is supposed to work, when it’s such an unfair story to buy into. Right. And such an arbitrary, even capricious thing to buy into because there’s nothing preventing you from doing that. And that being a successful plan for you. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) you never would have known if you didn’t stick your neck out and give it a shot.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Chris, thank you for being here. (Chris: No problem.) You’re amazing.

Chris Goodman
So happy to see you guys again and hear you’re (Lesley: I know. ) doing so well. So (Lesley: Yeah, well …) let me know if I can do anything else to help.

Lesley Logan
Wonder… we will and also if we are headed through Louisville on one of our road trips we’re gonna come see you and you’re amazing wife.

Chris Goodman
We got enough bourbon for you at least for a couple of days. (Chris and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan
I love that you have that. When you come to Vegas, don’t worry we’ve got plenty of also other alcohol …

Chris Goodman
Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, there’s no shortage. I spent a week in Vegas one night, so yeah. (Chris and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan
That’s the best thing I’ve heard. That’s probably what most people’s are. Thank you so much. Okay, everyone how are you going to use this in your life. What steps are you gonna take? Will you tag @goodmancoaching and the @be_it_pod and let us know. And share this with a friend, share this with many friends, you can screenshot it and share it online, you can also just text it to a friend and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

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Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

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Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.