Finding the People

in the Room Who

Are Not Like You

Ep. 41 ft. Dr. Kelly Bender

“Put things in your physical environment that make you feel happy, or that make you feel that desired state.”

Dr. Kelly Bender

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Bio

Dr. Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor. As a graduate of Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine, Dr. Bender is trained as an expert in natural medicine. After graduating summa cum laude with a Bachelor of Science in Pharmacology & Toxicology from the University at Buffalo and top of her class in medical school, she has continued her training in cutting edge therapies. Ketamine-assisted therapy, regenerative medicine, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy and peptide therapy have been important additions to her practice to truly help individuals heal. She is passionate about helping individuals optimize their health so they can live their lives to the fullest.

Dr. Bender believes it is important to understand the entire person in order to facilitate healing and offers each patient an individualized treatment plan to enhance their vitality. Dr. Bender enjoys teaching others, whether it be her patients or students at various medical schools. While she misses the fall weather back home in New York, she is happy to make Los Angeles her home.

Show Notes

Dr. Kelly Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor and she joined Lesley today to talk about moving to a new city, starting a business when you didn’t know anyone, and listening with curiosity. Then they move on to being your own health advocate, taking stock of how you’re feeling and how to take care of yourself.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • Moving to a new city
  • Starting a business
  • Being your own health advocate
  • Knowing when things are off
  • Going to meetups in a new city
  • Listening and being curious
  • Put things in your physical environment that make you feel that happiness or desired state
  • Find the people in the room who are not like you
  • Share your story with other people – celebrate where you’ve come from, your vulnerability allows others to see what’s possible
  • Take stock of how you’re feeling and see where there could be potential improvement
  • A big part of health is your mental/emotional health
  • Get your body physically feeling like you want it to feel

References/Links:

Transcript

INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Hey! Hey you, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It. I am in love with this podcast and I’m in love with all of your takeaways and just the DMs we’re getting and the questions you’re sending us. It is incredibly, it’s an incredible honor but also just so much fun for me and for Brad to bring news to you every single week. Today’s guest is Dr. Kelly Bender. Not only is she a dear friend of mine, but she is a woman who definitely saved my life, my health. And I wanted to bring her in because she is a wealth of knowledge. And she has an incredible Be It Till You See It story. So for those of you who have moved to a new place, or you feel like you’re new in something, you don’t know what you’re doing, I definitely want you to listen to the parts where she talks about being new in a city and starting a business without any information because they don’t teach you that in school, and, and more. And then for those of you who are like not thinking about starting a business, there’s still so much information in here on being an advocate for yourself and knowing when things are off. And so I really just think you’re gonna find so many different gemstones no matter where you are in your life right now. So please do me a huge favor when this is all over, check out Dr. Kelly Bender on Instagram. And if you have any takeaways screenshot this and share it and tag us both so that we can see that it really does help us get this show out and and you know, we get to have more fun with you and with all the listeners. So thank you and right after this message is Dr. Kelly Bender.

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and business fitness coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

EPISODE

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the podcast, Dr. Kelly Bender, and everyone who is listening. I’m so excited for you to meet this woman. I mean, you’re gonna meet her in your ears. But if you’re watching this on YouTube, you get to see your face. Y’all, this woman came into my life at a time when I needed her the most. And then she ended up coming on a retreat, so we got to know each other really well. But I happen to be in search of B12 shots. And this is where there’s divine appointments and serendipity. I had heard about a space at about a mile from where I lived from an old client and then literally the old client they were going out for dinner and we ran into Dr. Bender and it became this wonderful friendship and I have her here because not only does she have a great Be It story, but she also has some great tips on like, reasons why maybe we just don’t feel like being it all the time. So, Dr. Kelly Bender can you share with everyone, who you are, what you’re up to all the things?

Kelly Bender
Yeah, thank you so much for having me, Lesley, I’m really excited to be here. I love our conversations and I’m really excited that we get to record our conversations and other people get to hear what we talk about. (Lesley: Oh, I know …) I think that it’s so much fun.

Lesley Logan
This is like a secret way for me to know more information. I’m just … (Lesley laughs)

Kelly Bender
Exactly. I’m so yeah, I am a California licensed naturopathic medical doctor, which means we try to look at the whole person and find out really what’s going on with people. Instead of just giving medications or other things, we really do a lot of detective work to see if we can figure out why people are not feeling their best. My practice is here in Brentwood, Los Angeles, California, we do a lot of different types of therapies and modalities to try to pe… to get people to be really healthy and happy and vital. We try to have your body heal itself. And so I’m really passionate about helping people understand their bodies. And really, you know, not just do something because somebody told you to do it. I really want people to understand what’s going on so they can make their own decision of, “Yeah, I want to take this thing today. I want to eat this way today because I know how it’s going to make me feel.”

Lesley Logan
I love that that’s probably another reason why we’re friends. It’s like the same way that I teach Pilates is I want people to be autonomous and I want them to know why they’re doing an exercise and I want them to feel confident in choosing not to do that exercise to do something else and so I think that’s really cool. There are very few people in the medical industry like you who are trying to help people be more educated and make a decision and almost it’s almost like you’re trying to teach them to be an advocate for themselves in their process.

Kelly Bender
100%. Being an advocate and and you know your body much better than I do. Right? I’ve got the schooling, I’ve got the education. And so you know, hopefully I can be a guide. But at the end of the day, you’re not going to call me every day and say, I mean, you could, you could definitely call me every day and say, “Hey, I’m feeling a little tired today. I’m feeling a little sore today, what do I do?” but that’s not empowering for anybody. And that gets really, really expensive if you’re going to do that. (Lesley laughs) So I would… I mean, “Hey, if you want to do that, I’m, I’m here. I’m happy to.” But but I really want to empower people to understand and be intuitive with their body so that they can have an arsenal of all the different things and decide when they need to use them.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, well, and also, I mean, expensive too and almost overwhelming. Like, you might, you might think this is really nice. And you want to check in with your, with your doctor every day. But then like, you might have that rebellion. But it’s like if you know, the four tendencies, it’s an obliger-rebellion, when like, you’re just like, “I’m over this.” And so I think, (Kelly: Right) so much better to have the tools to do your own journaling, doing your own tracking, and then do check ins and tweaks when you feel like something is off. And so while it I wasn’t off, and then I want to get into how you got started. How, like, what is the best way to give people the confidence or just feel okay with sometimes you might think something’s off and then we are we tend to talk ourselves out of it, we tend to like excuse that off feeling like, “Oh, I just ate something bad” or “Oh, I just had a bad night’s sleep” or, you know what I mean? Like, when is it that something is off? And when is it that we are? I don’t know if I if you understand the question, I’m saying, but do you I mean?

Kelly Bender
I do. Yeah, as humans. Okay, so there’s this old adage of boiling a frog, right? So how do you boil a frog, if you put a frog in hot water, it will jump out. But if you put it in cold water, and you slowly turn up the temperature, it will just become complacent and say, “Oh, this is warm, this is warm, this is warm” to the point where it’s boiling. And as humans, we we do that, right? We are adaptable, that’s one of the strengths that we have as a species is we are really highly adaptable. And so oftentimes, you know, it’s a slow, slippery slope to “Oh, I had, you know, I had some gas one day, but you know, it’s just because I ate a lot of vegetables.” And then, you know, you have diarrhea for a few days that “Oh, you know, it’s because I was stressed,” and then you’ve constipation for a few days. And it’s, “Oh, it’s because I was traveling.” And then before you know it, it’s six months down the down the line, and you haven’t had a normal bowel movement for six months. Right? And so I think there is this fine line, and maybe it’s not so fine. But there’s definitely a line between being overly conscientious and overly anxious about our health where, yeah, you know, we all have days where we’re a little ga… more gassy, we all have days, where, you know, things are a little bit more sluggish, or we’re a little more tired. So just keeping track of it. And more than anything, if you can, if you can kind of get in touch with your body. I think a lot of times we’re just show disconnected, we’re still in our brain, right? And so you’re thinking, you know, we go on WebMD, and you’re thinking and it’s all up here, right? It’s like, “Oh, man,” you know, fatigue and, and, you know, constipation and acid reflux, and you go and you’re thinking about all the things that could be wrong. (Lesley: Right) More so I would say, sit with yourself, as opposed to looking externally, sit with yourself and say, “Okay, is this a feeling that I’ve had in the past? Did that feeling go away on it’s own?” You know, “Is it just a temporary one day thing?” You know, “Does this feel abnormal to me,” right? And so if it’s a day or two, and it goes away, probably, you know, nothing to worry about. But if it’s a day or two every week, then I would say, you know, track it a little bit. And if they’re consistent, then something to pay attention to, but more than that, like really sit with your body and say, “Does this make sense? Why this is happening?” Oh, every time I eat dairy, I have friends who are lactose intolerant, and they still eat dairy all the time. And then …

Lesley Logan
… remember to do that and I’m like, “You can’t eat it. That’s like that’s why you feel the way you feel.” (Lesley laughs)

Kelly Bender
Right? Right. That’s the way you feel the way that you feel. And so you know, and then they get confused because they’re like, “Oh, well, I eat dairy, dairy is in everything” and then their stomach is just never good, good. (Lesley: Yeah.) And then and then something else is happening like they have dysbiosis or they have a food sensitivity. You know, stress can also impact your digestion, and so they get confused between, “Oh, I never feel good because I’m always eating dairy” versus something else is going on. So it kind of masks that symptom. So, in general, if you’re electing to do something that makes you feel not as well, I would take a break from that every once in a while to let that go away and see really how you feel. Same thing with like drinking alcohol.

Lesley Logan
That’s a great, that’s actually really something anyone can do. You’re not it’s not like we’re saying, do an elimination diet, it’s like, the thing that makes you not feel so good, stop doing it and to see like what your baseline is, and, and you know, and what, and then you can be really in tune. And I just think, what I love that the common thread there is like, how are you feeling and what’s normal for you. And it makes sense, because there really is no one size fits all what I love so much about interviewing different, amazing people like yourself is every time I ask them at the end, we’ll and we’ll ask you later, like, what are your steps to be in it, no one is repeating the same thing. So like, we’re all so different. (Kelly: Yeah) And that means our health is going to be very unique. And so what feels normal to you and is going to be different, I want to take a step back to you starting this practice, because it’s not easy to start any business. And if you you don’t have like this, like bank account that’s just rolling you through. It’s very scary, and not only to do sort a new practice. But it’s also very unique practice, because it’s not something that you see everywhere. But you also started in a new city. And so I think a lot of people listening might be afraid to start something new and that they have the excuse. Well, “I’m new here. I don’t know anyone,” like I just really want them to hear your story. So, how did you get your practice going?

Kelly Bender
Yeah, so um, I really believe in, you were talking about like, you know, divine (Lesley: appointments) interventions or divine appointments. And, you know, I’m I’m a planner, I am a I am a builder, I’m a designer. And throughout medical school for four years, I was designing what I thought was going to be my life, my practice, what I was going to do, and I will tell you right now, none of it happened that way. (Lesley laughs) 0%, 0%, and I’m so glad, I am so glad that it happened the way that it happened. And it turned out even better than I planned. Right? So, medical school – shocker – you don’t learn how to run a business (Lesley: No) in medical school. Right?

Lesley Logan
No. So, why teachers don’t either fitness instructors or either lawyers, either. I’m like, “I don’t even know (Kelly: No) what people are going to school for.” Because they don’t actually why they can’t be, it’s why a lot of people aren’t successful in those things. And it’s, or they have imposter syndrome, because how you don’t know what you don’t know.

Kelly Bender
You don’t know what you don’t know. And and you know, enough in medical school to to be scared. Because you know, when medicine there’s a lot of liability, right? There’s a lot of rules of what you can and cannot do. So so go back to 2013, I originally wanted to work for a nonprofit. I started a nonprofit when I was in medical school. We did free care for people like low income people in the States. And we also have clinics in Mexico, Haiti and Thailand. And so (Lesley: Cool) I that’s what I, yeah, so that’s what I thought I was going to do my whole four years of medical school, that was the plan. And then I realized in my fourth year how much debt I was going to have and how much I needed to pay every month to be able to pay that off. And working for a nonprofit was not a good option at that point. So, I quickly pivoted and decided to move to LA, because why not? My brother lived here and I had come out to visit. I’m originally from New York. And so I knew that I wanted to try something different. I knew I didn’t want to go back to the cold weather. And I figured I’ll give it a try. If I don’t like it, I can always move again. So, so I moved out to California, I moved out to Los Angeles without really knowing anyone, anyone and decided to start a business. So I found a little office space to rent and I read a lot of books and I read a lot of blogs and I watched a lot of YouTube videos on how to set up a corporation and I was sitting in this little bedroom that I rented out in a house with this this older lady and I remember like sitting on my bed, filling out the fictitious business paperwork and feeling anxious. Am I doing this right? I don’t have money to pay for a lawyer. You know, (Lesely: Oh) if I do this wrong, what’s going to happen?

Lesley Logan
I um completely understand, and I love the visual of you sitting in a little office just like watching YouTube videos on how to do this. Because that’s, I mean, like, a lot of people might be like, “I want to get started,” honestly, that’s what we that’s what everyone gets started and everyone is like, “Am I doing this right? I don’t know, I can’t afford a lawyer to look this over.” Sure, hope so I remember I got a letter in the mail from LA. They’re like, “We can see you’re doing business here. So here’s what you owe us in taxes.” I was like, “Oh, well, thanks for letting me know. Not a problem. Here’s a check.” I was like, “Thank God, they did …” So they don’t arrest you, but they will (Kelly: Yeah) send you a bill. (Lesley laughs)

Kelly Bender
Right. And usually, there’s some late fees associated (Lesley: Yeah) (Lesley laughs) with, you know, much cheaper than (Lesley: My lawyer, yeah) otherwise, that could turn out much cheaper than a lawyer, much cheaper than a lawyer. Yeah, it’s like, “Okay, great. I’ll…” And you know, most places where people open businesses, they want you to be successful, right? You’re, you’re part of the economy, you’re driving, you know, you’re driving the economy. So they want to get their money because their business too, but usually, they’ll they’ll work with you. And they’ll let you know, like, “Hey, this is how you were supposed to do it. You’re delinquent, you have to pay us some extra money. But like, here’s how to do it right.” And so, yeah, when I first got to LA, man, what it is like, what a different world from the East Coast where I grew up from Arizona, which is where I did my medical school. So I came out here and knew almost no one, set up my business, didn’t know what I was doing from a business standpoint, you know, had to figure it out pretty much on my own. I didn’t have business mentors, I didn’t grow up around people who owned their own businesses. It was not part of my, my culture, it was not part of anything I’d ever seen done before. And so honestly, one of the things that I did that was the most helpful was I started going to meetups, five or six nights a week, when I first moved to LA, this was, you know, pre COVID, obviously. So …

Lesley Logan
Yeah, something went possible, but I (Kelly: Yeah) so I love this part of you, getting out there, getting to know, getting to get your business started was like getting just going to places to, just finding places you could immerse yourself, (Kelly: Yeah) which is super scary. So, what did you tell yourself before you walk into these rooms?

Kelly Bender
It’s so interesting. So, I specifically went to meetups that were not medical related. So most of the people I knew who were doctors, they went to all these medical ones to network with other medical professionals, there was like, first of all, I want to friends who are not doctors. Second of all, I like you’re not going to become my patients, your doctors. And third, I actually went to a lot of one of them that were like business oriented, because I was like, “I need friends or people who are in business to help me learn how to do this.” And so, you know, I would I would psych myself up. And I this is not a thing that I love to do. So I really, you know, there was a lot of anxiety before everyone, but I was like, you know, what’s the worst that can happen? That’s what I would tell myself, “What’s the worst that can happen? You’re going to go, you’re going to meet some interesting people. And if you don’t like them, you never have to see them again.” So that’s the nice thing about meetups is everybody is there to network. So different than going to a bar or something like that, like, everyone knows that’s the deal. So you go up and you tell your story, and you hand out business cards. Um …

Lesley Logan
How did you (Kelly: and it was …) introduce yourself? Because I feel like this is like where I could ultimate Be It moment could be because you didn’t have like a thriving practice at this point yet you were filling (Kelly: I know) out forms. So, how, what was the introduction that you gave?

Kelly Bender
Yeah, so most of the time, like I said, I was the only doctor there. I remember really specifically going to these tech startups, because I love technology. And I was like, “Oh, these people don’t know anything about health.” They’re, you know, a bunch of guys most of the time. And I know this is a stereotype but it’s true. A bunch of men in a room eating like cheetos and drinking soda, right? (Lesley: Yeah) And so, and now they’re the people who have money, right? (Lesley: Yeah) Who can afford kind of like alternative care. And so I would go to these a lot of these types of meetings. And listen, that is that is the most important thing. Most people go into these situations, and they’re just focused on getting other people to know what they do. Right? So everyone is talking past each other because everyone’s primary goal is to download my information to you. Right? And so I just went in and I listened and I was curious. Those I think are the two big things for me was was listening and being curious. And then I would say, “Oh, that’s you know, that’s really interesting. You do X, Y or Z. Have you ever considered this thing over here?” And I would just ask really interesting questions about them or their work. And then people got interested in me. Right? Then they would say, “Oh my gosh, that’s such a great question. No one’s ever asked me that question before. What do you do? Are you a CEO? Are you a venture capitalist? What do you do?” And I would just sit there and say, “I’m a doctor.” Mind blown! (Lesley laughs) Every single one of them, they were like, “Whoa, okay, like, tell me about what you …” and then and then they were really engaged. Right? … that that was the way …

Lesley Logan
This is so cool. I hope you’re all hearing this. This is if you have anxiety in rooms, if you are wearing an introvert flag, if you are wearing the shy flag, like here, she didn’t, she actually went and listened, which is some, it’s actually, it’s not actually easier to do, but it’s definitely less anxiety producing and then you got curious. And then and then because of that, they’re super intrigued by you, which is like the best thing and building relationships. And so … (Kelly: Totally) how so how many meetups did you go to? Like, how many? Or do you still go to them.

Kelly Bender
So, I stopped probably after about a year and a half, or maybe about a year, I was going to no lie five or six a week, and a lot of them are the same. So, I would go you know, every month or so and kind of keep up with some of the same people. And they you know, would become patient or they would become friends. A lot of the friends that I have here in LA are from these, these meetups, you know from eight, nine years ago. And so it helped me build a build a network, it helped me build friends. And, and it helped me build my business acumen. I consult so part of, you know, I have my medical practice, but I also do a lot of consulting with businesses from the medical side. So, I will be the medical expert, if somebody wants to start any sort of medical type business. And I also consult with doctors and clinics, in how to set up their business and set up their operations. So, I have become kind of this bridge.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, you also (Kelly: between the two) have, it’s like the ultimate Be It, like you were acting as if, like so you’re doing all the things to start a business, then you (Kelly: Yeah) change your environment many times because you move but also like you change people you surround yourself with. And then you and now you are literally being the consultant, being the guy, being the thing to everyone else and in your industry, and then also people who want to have a part with your industry, that is so cool. It’s like no stopping it. So, okay, um, this, this is really interesting. Um, I want to go to the, the the be… changing your environment up, because I do think that that is where a lot of people get stuck, you know, especially if you’re like, “Well, Lesley and Kelly, I can’t move. I can’t move to LA, (Kelly: right) how do I do this?” So for the person who’s like, not able to physically move to change their environment, what are some tips you have for them to change the surroundings that they’re in to be able to not just be a bridge, but to be it and to get get connected with more people?

Kelly Bender
Yeah, so I mean, there’s, there’s different pieces to your environment, I personally find space, like the environment that I’m in, in my home, at my office to be really important and impactful for me. So even if you’re just kind of moving things around, or getting lovely plants … from my plant …

Lesley Logan
If you’re watching us on YouTube, you will have to see all the plants, I mean, her plant game is strong.

Kelly Bender
It makes me so happy, honestly. So, you know, one of the big things that I tell people you know, the Be It Till You See It kind of thing is, “Putting things in your physical environment that make you feel happy, or that make you feel that desired state.” So one of the things is I I’ve got, you know, I’ve got my plants, I’ve got my crystals, you know, I’ve got all of the things that kind of just make me feel like, I’m that person. And one of the biggest things that changed. I had some money mindset stuff. You know, being a doctor, being a care provider, I just like giving care for free, right? Like, I just wish I could give care for free. It makes me feel so good. But that’s not a sustainable business model. (Lesley laughs) And so, so what I did when I wanted to change how I felt about money was I took two $100 bills and put it I have this little kind of seashell type thing that I put them in with with my amethyst from when I was little on top of it. And it’s right over here where I do my work and I just have it there and it’s like, you know, money’s around, money is available if I need if I need a hundred bucks, I could grab it from there. Right? I don’t, because I’m just putting it there. But physically putting the things in your space to remind you of what you want to grow and what you want to focus on, I think is really important. (Lesley: Oh, I love this.) Yeah. And then absolutely, like, changing, not changing, but adding people to your, to your environment, to your to your friends group, find the people who are not like you. That’s, that’s what I would say, a lot of times, we tend to, you know, be friends with the people that are very similar to us, because they reinforce our, our beliefs, and you know, it makes us feel good about ourselves. But I would, I would encourage you to find people who are very different from you, because they’re going to have life experiences, and they’re going to have skill sets that are complimentary to yours that you might, that you might need, or you might benefit from. I started working with very, very, very, very high net worth individuals, and completely changed how I saw life, how I, how I saw my own, like how I run my household, just seeing how people run their household, how they run staff, helped me understand what was possible.

Lesley Logan
I couldn’t agree more. Having moved, I’ve definitely, environment change, but also like building new relationships out here. And it’s a little tricky in a COVID world. So really, our life in Las Vegas started April 2021. We’re like, “Okay, we’re going out, we’re excited (Kelly: yeah) about this, we’re going to meet people,” but I’ve been really conscious of meeting people that I normally wouldn’t meet, that I nor…. that I normally wouldn’t have a reason to connect with. And that is does take effort, but I think it is so important. I also having been from a family that was not entrepreneurial like me, not that they weren’t, there just wasn’t anyone own their own business, you know, in my immediate family. For me to learn from to see that was possible, having clients in LA who do have that high net worth, you hear what they stress about, which was not what I was stressing about, you hear it like, “And there’s some good and bad things, they don’t do everything, you don’t need to assume all of their behaviors,” but you do see possibilities and I and that I’m grateful for the time I had in LA, because literally you learn that you can just create money because or that money is all around because people just find it. And they the people who are creating businesses, there aren’t like going, “Oh, you pull my savings.” They’re like, “Oh, no, I’m raising money for this.” And you’re like, “You can raise like, people just give money for things?” Like … (Lesley laughs)

Kelly Bender
Right? What? (Lesley: Yeah) Yeah, I really do think, you know, one of the most important things, I think for the Be It Till You See It is sharing your story with other people. And so, you know, even if you don’t think that you are where you want to be, right, sharing your story, either where you are, where you’ve been, is, is helpful for you to celebrate how much you’ve changed, or where you’ve come from, which I think is really important. And that vulnerability with other people, just like we’re doing now it allows them to see what’s possible. And then they share with you, you know, maybe I’ve had patients who are extremely successful in business, like, you know, financially really successful. And they, you know, they see that as a success, but they want to be more successful in let’s say, their spiritual life or their mental emotional life. And, and so when I hear their stories of how they’ve worked through things from a business standpoint, I’m like, “Oh, that’s how you do that.” And then they hear my stories of how I worked through, you know, emotional things, or you know, family things or trauma that’s happened. And they’re like, “Oh, that’s how you do that.” (Lesley: Yeah) So it’s, it’s sharing with people who have all different experiences, I think is for me, the most important.

Lesley Logan
Well, and you know, we the reason that the human humans as a species have evolved and survived is because of stories. And like if you read the book Sapiens, it’s like this whole the ability to storyteller is how we survive tigers and holes. And then also we can share things. We can keep talking for hours, but I have to ask this one question before (Kelly: Yeah) we take a break. I want to because I’m sure people are going, “Okay.” But we got this doctor on the show. Is there anything that we can be doing, supplements anything I know that you’re we can’t just prescribe things so we’re not prescribing anything (Kelly: Yeah) but are there are there tips for people that they might want to pay attention to, that might be holding them back health wise from be it till they see it.

Kelly Bender
Yeah, that’s a that’s a great question. So again, I would say, you know, take stock of how you’re feeling and see, you know, where you think there could be some potential improvements, I would say a big, a big part of health is your mental emotional health. And especially with being it until you see it, you want to make sure you’re in a really good mind state, right? They talk about like, these flow states, which flow state is basically like alpha brainwaves, it’s actually how your brain is functioning. And so you know, doing meditation or journaling or breath work or something to physically get your body into that flow state. You know, get your body physically feeling like you want it to feel, even if you’re like, “You know, I feel really good today,” or getting up in the morning and doing a dance party and that, you know, I have so much energy, even on the days you don’t have energy, right? It’s okay, if you don’t have energy, you don’t have to push yourself or you know, pretend that you’re some way but, but if you’re like, “Okay, I’m gonna get up and I’m gonna, I’m gonna move my body and I’m gonna get into the mind state of, you know, I’m energized, I’m, I’m feeling strong,” that will help your brain get into the, get into that loop or that pattern of, “I’m feeling good, I have energy,” you know …

Lesley Logan
I love that it just kind of goes back to like just getting to know yourself and then also like, an even on the good days practicing it and not just the days that we need it like, that’s, (Kelly: Yeah) that’s the trick. (Lesley laughs)

Kelly Bender
Yeah, and also so like smiling, even if you don’t want to smile, right? Just our body remembers these cues. And so just smiling can actually change your your brain chemistry. So if you’re not feeling really good, just go look in the mirror, and smile and work on gratitude and let that sink in. And that will actually change your biochemistry that will actually change your neuro chemistry. So, you know …

Lesley Logan
You know what I love about all this, none of it is taking anything like in, it is all things so you have the power of doing all of them are free things. All of them are ways to be in the state that you really are trying to be in all the time and so thank you for that. That’s I love being surprised but also you know, it made me think of this one thing. Jamie Kern Lima’s book “Believe It,” she gave a tip of like giving people what you need. So, if you’re needing like (Kelly: Yeah) someone to see you, make sure you look at people in the eye and smile at them and see them (Kelly: Yeah) so they’re gonna do … they’re gonna see how and they’re gonna smile right back, you know, or if you’re (Kelly: Absolutely) if you’re needing people to love you, give people love and you just this amazing reciprocity thing. So all right, Dr. Kelly Bender, where can people find you? How can they follow you? Become your friend, stalk you a little bit? Where do you hang out?

Kelly Bender
Um, Kreation Cafe in Los Angeles. (Lesley laughs) I’m most most of the time you can probably find me there.

Lesley Logan
Do you get the pumpkin bread?

Kelly Bender
No, it has eggs in it.

Lesley Logan
Oh, I don’t think so, well, I get it’s vegan. Check it out …

Kelly Bender
Well, I have to look at it. Okay, I have to get the vegan one …

Lesley Logan
Check it out because I get a vegan one because I can’t do the eggs either. I get a vegan (Kelly: I know) and they have a paleo bread as well that (Kelly: Yeah) is egg free. So anyways,

Kelly Bender
They they have a vegan gluten free brownie. (Lesley: Oh) It’s the best thing …

Lesley Logan
With CBD in it by the way.

Kelly Bender
They do have on the CBD. I don’t get the one with CBD. (Lesley: Okay) But it is it is the best thing ever … So …

Lesley Logan
It is like … that they did … it’s really hard to do vegan gluten free brownies. (Kelly: I know) And they did a great job because it doesn’t just crumble all over you. It’s moist. It’s gooey. (Kelly: Yeah) Anyways, they did not sponsor this podcast, but every time (Kelly laughs) I go to LA, I do go to Kreation and stock up and when my husband sees it in my purse, he just laughs (Lesley laughs)

Kelly Bender
Yeah. Nailed it. So yes, most most days you’ll probably find me there for some one of the one of my meals. But my clinic is in Brentwood, Los Angeles. It’s called Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center. The website is www.purevitalitycenter.com. So you can go and check us out on the website. We also have Instagram, which have been doing some more Instagram lives. I think I’m going to try and do an Instagram live every day for a week. (Lesley: Oh so fun.) Even if it’s just like two or three minutes because Instagram keeps updating and every time I go to save the live to my role. Something else is different that I can’t figure out how to do it. So I think I just need to you talk about you know (Lesley: Be It Till You See It … I love it) Be It Till You See It … I’m gonna be this Instagram, awesome person, and I’m gonna practice and practice and practice. And then hopefully by the end of the week, I’ll actually be a professional at it.

Lesley Logan
I love it. Yeah, I just have to say this, I have three Instagram handles, right and which is annoying. And here’s what I hate the most is when one of them updates, but the other two don’t. So currently on the @be_it_pod Instagram, where how I share my story is very different than how I did on the other two. And I’m like, “Alright, y’all, this is …” (Kelly: no) I’m a I’m a native ada… a tech adapter, right? I am attack native, elder millennial (Kelly: yeah) right here, you (Kelly: yeah) can’t give it to me, change them all at the same time. (Lesley laughs)

Kelly Bender
Right, or just don’t change them. I honestly just be two and a half minutes yesterday when I started my Instagram live, to figure out how to do it. So anyway, um, you can follow me on Instagram at @purelyvital p u r e l y v i t a l. I think I’m going to try to do that the next week or so. We’ll see technically, you know, all the all the technical parts …

Lesley Logan
Well, we’ll have all of these links in the show notes. Kreation, you’ll just have to look up I don’t want to actually stalking her. So okay, so I asked every guest this and you’ve given some great tips. So if you want to just recap them, that’s totally fine. But I think it’s really awesome to be inspired. But I actually think people need to take messy action because that’s where clarity comes from. That’s where anxiety is overridden. So bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps that people can do to be it till you see it, what are your favorite things to do?

Kelly Bender
So the first thing is know yourself, honestly, I think for me, that’s the most important piece. Also, do the things that you want to do. Don’t wait till you have the money. Don’t wait until you have the time. Because you’ll never have what you want of both things. So you and I have our boozy spa days. And it’s like, we just put it on the calendar. And we go and we do it. So do do the things that you want to do. And also, I would say be curious, be curious about yourself. Be curious about other people. Really, you know, try to look at the world through the you know, through the child’s eyes, or you know, through the novice lens, because that’s going to help you grow into what you want to be, but also help you see when you’ve become that.

Lesley Logan
Oh, those are juicy. I love them. I’m … excited. This is my favorite part of the podcast because I’m like, “Oh, I’m gonna try that one. That one’s new for me.” Dr. Kelly Bender, thank you for being here on the show. Everyone, thank you (Kelly: Thank you) so much for listening. Do us a humungous favor, screenshot this podcast right now. Tag pure, @purelyvital, and @be_it_pod and put your takeaway on here so that we can see what your favorite part of this show was. And do us a favor and make sure you share this with your friends that is how this podcasts gets out. That’s how all podcasts get out. So if you love a podcast, you could share it every week. Don’t worry, I will still love it. It will still feel fresh and new to me. So thank you so much and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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