How to Protect and

Build Your Confidence

Ep. 144 with Lesley & Brad

“If you don’t speak up for yourself, you end up being a victim.”

Brad Crowell

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Show Notes

Is there a secret to being confident? Is there a way to speak up without being a natural extrovert? Elle Russ argues yes! Listen in for Brad and Lesley’s recap on building and protecting your confidence with a few tips and tricks weaved throughout.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  •  Retreat updates
  • What is confidence?
  • Why you have to take action
  • Why direct communication and boundaries are a package deal
  • How to protect and build your confidence
  • Start small to Identify and change the pattern
  • What is the stumbling block to confidence?

Episode References/Links:

Transcript

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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Lesley Logan
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the confident convo I had with Elle Ross in our last episode. (Brad: It was that.) It was so confident. If you haven’t yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. You have to listen to that one. I don’t care what order you do your shit in but like …

Brad Crowell
That’s a great, amazing, like hard to break down into one thing to talk about episode because there was so much good stuff.

Lesley Logan
So much good stuff. I mean, like I sometimes I was just like, I’m just gonna let her go. Because like, I’m just like, I’m getting confident, just listening to her. (Brad: Yeah.) So I’m just … (Brad: It was, it was exciting.) I’m just gonna, like live off that those words. So anyways, I’m really excited about this interview. I’ve been wanting to have her on since before we started the pod. I heard her somewhere else. And like I was like, “This girl has to be on.” And I actually heard her talking about something else that she does with paleo stuff and, and we ended up just chatting back and forth. I was like, “Okay, you’re talking about confidence. Like, you’re just going to do that.” So anyway, I’m so glad we waited and we got her on and this time and Brad, we’re in this interesting, like not a lull. But it’s like a, it’s like a, well, it’s an in between what do you call that? (Brad: The middle.) The middle. (Brad: The messy middle.) We are in the middle. We’ve literally just sent everyone out of our house. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) After like being we were in Chicago. It was a freaking blast if we told you. And then we came in, cleaned everything up again. And then like people came in. And then it was a whirlwind of people, people getting photos …

Brad Crowell
Because we had the Pilates retreat, or sorry, we had a business retreat at our house in Vegas. (Lesley: Yeah.) So we’re in Chicago for POT. And then we hosted an event here. And now we are prepping to leave for Cambodia.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, so and while we’re prepping, we’ve got so many people coming to town for another Pilates situation with PMA. And it’s like, I think we’re gonna have more coffee dates than we’ve ever had in our entire lives. I’m (Brad: Yeah) but we’re prepping for Cambodia and I’m really excited. And if you are like, “I missed the business retreat.” You frickin did. You just did. No, I mean, we missed you too. But when is the next one and there is not one on the books for 2023. Because actually, a really a lot of amazing other stuff going on. And there’s only so many weeks in the year and one of those should be a vacation for me and Brad. So (Brad: It’s true.) so you can get on the waitlist for Profitable Pilates business retreats we’ll probably bring them back in 2024. And if you’re like, “That’s too far away, guys.” Well, that’s what Agency is for.

Brad Crowell
Right. So if you want to get on the waitlist to join us in person in Vegas, go to profitablepilates.com/retreats plural, retreats. And if you are interested in more about Agency and working with us before then just go to profitablepilates.com/agency

Lesley Logan
Yeah. You don’t have to wait till 2024 to get the hands in on your business. (Brad: That’s true.) Even if you’re like, “I love in person.” That’s fine. (Brad: We love in person too.) We do too, but I don’t want you to wait two years to get you know, you’re like we can totally make magic happen online before you get in person and we can do twice as much when you’re here. (Brad: Yes.) All right. Well, now we had an audience re… an audience question to respond to, I think.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, well, this one was a collection of questions when we were in Chicagoland with Pilates on tour. (Lesley: Why is it called Chicagoland?) Because it’s not Chicago proper, (Lesley: Yeah) outside of Chicago. We, it was so exciting, because I thought everybody knew that we go to Cambodia. (Lesley: No) You know, like, we talked about it so much, so, so often. And people were like, so fired up to hear about it. And they were really excited about the idea of going there and they were getting themselves on the waitlist. And they were asking because obviously we’re leaving in less than a month now to go to Cambodia with our first group post COVID. And we’re really excited about that. But if you wanted to join us oh sorry, the question is, how often do we go?

Lesley Logan
Yeah, So the reality is we’ve always wanted to go twice a year for retreats. (Brad: Yeah.) But given that people are still getting into the swing of traveling in this new normal that we’re in, we only have one this year. And we’re only planning one next year.

Brad Crowell
That’s right. (Lesley: Yeah.) By the way, if you have noticed where we’re trying to reduce things.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Do you see how we’re doing that? We’re being it till we see it on this reduction policy over here. And it’s not because we don’t love it. Well, Brad, and I will probably know … (Brad: It’s my favorite thing.) Yeah, it’s our will, we’re definitely gonna go because we got a couple trips to Korea. That’s happening and definitely …

Brad Crowell
… we’re gonna go down. Yes.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. I feel like but Lesley, that made us could do another retreat. Yes, we could pack that in. (Brad: We could.) But that’s, that’s not we’re doing anymore. And so if we’re doing one next year, so I highly recommend that you get on the waitlist for that, well announced the dates probably, probably towards the end of this year, we’ll have it solidify. We’re just waiting on a few dates from some other events that we’ve got to make sure that we’re at and …

Brad Crowell
Yeah, but it’s gonna be in the fall, like September, October, somewhere in there and 2023. (Lesley: Yeah.) You know, (Lesley: Yeah.) by the way, if you’re like, “What the hell I want to go right now?” (Lesley: You can.) You can join us. We still have room on the one that’s happening in starting on October 30, 2022. But if you know that’s not going to work for you, and you want to join us next year. Get yourself on the waitlist, go to lesleylogan.co/retreats. And that’s plural. (Lesley: Yes. It’s plural.) It’s lesleylogan.co/retreats. (Lesley: We like the s s around here.) Yeah. (Lesley: And so …) Singular takes you to the landing page for this year’s retreat.

Lesley Logan
Plural takes you to a waitlist. So you can get … yeah. And so I just hope you come. I know that it’s, here’s the thing, but I know. I know that it’s a big deal for you to plan a trip that crosses the ocean. And I know how easy it is say, I’ll do next time because you think that next time will be easier than this time, or the next next time will be easier than this time. You are never going to feel ready. (Brad: No.) Ready is a lie.

Brad Crowell
It’s like having kids.

Lesley Logan
Well, and we don’t know that. But every person we know who has a kid, they’re like … (Brad: They’re like buying a house.) You’re never ready. Yeah. So I, so what I would just say is like, make make the plans, put it in there, put it in your calendar, or put like put it on your list of things you want to do in 2023. And like, look for ways to make that happen. (Brad: Yeah.) Because you will never ever regret going we did a retreat in March of 2020. And every person who came with all the uncertainty that there was, there was like, couldn’t be more uncertainty then because we’re like, “What’s going on? I don’t know.” And we all went none of them regretted it. (Brad: No.) They all still talk to each other since then. (Brad: Yeah.) They still talk to each other. We’ve had ones that had babies since then. All of us have has happened and they’re so glad they went when they did. (Brad: Yeah.) And so I’m just saying you should be there. Instead of …

Brad Crowell
You should be there. Yes. Well anyway, that is exciting. We love talking about Cambodia and I know that you know that diehard listeners if you’re a first timer. Welcome to our world. (Lesley: Hello. I’m Lesley Logan.) And I’m Brad.

Lesley Logan
You know, we don’t do on this recaps. We don’t even introduce ourselves.

Brad Crowell
Oh yeah, I thought about that the other day. (Lesley: We do at the very end.) Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley Logan
And like one of, one, like our our our our coach Jill and Danny on every one of their episodes, they go they still cool man. Like they all, like this make sure that you know the voice is and we’re like, we’re gonna make all the assumptions you know, why you’re here and sink or swim. Here we go. (Brad: Yeah.) Maybe we’ll stick to the script.

Brad Crowell
Okay, now let’s talk about Elle Russ. Okay. A firm believer that confidence is the key to success in almost every area of your life. Elle Russ is the author of Confident As Fu*k. She’s a speaker and a podcaster. She helps clients materialize dreams and goals, create better business and personal relationships and become the best at whatever it is that they’re doing. She’s also a world renowned thyroid expert that has overcome her own health struggles to find full confidence. So the thyroid portion of this you guys didn’t even get into it. (Lesley: No.) During the episode, (Lesley: No.) I was actually very interested in that but looks like we’re gonna have to have Elle back …

Lesley Logan
We’ll have to have her back because the thyroid thing is like this crazy thing that’s going on in this world that we’re like people need to know more about so and that could be affecting you being it till you see it if your thyroids off. Guess what? Y’all you’re not functioning to your best. So (Brad: Yeah.) another episode. So what I loved in this episode is, what is confidence? Yeah. And she said confidence is some of the thoughts you think and then the actions you take and like, yeah.

Brad Crowell
Confidence is the sum of the thoughts that you think and the actions that you take.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, because you can, you can, you can think about something all the time, but if you don’t take any action than actually, you, you have you actually going to create lack of confidence because you’ve got all these ideas and you don’t do anything. And so now you don’t have any, like, you don’t have this like, data showing like I do the things that I’m thinking about. And so I really loved how she said that because people are always like, what is confident? How we more confident? Well take this some of your thoughts. And then take the action.

Brad Crowell
The action to take. I mean, I know on this pod, you’ve heard Lesley say, you know, 100 times if you’ve heard she say at once, action creates clarity and clarity …

Lesley Logan
And actions, action is the antidote to fear.

Brad Crowell
Sorry, yeah.

Lesley Logan
No. I say, (Brad laughs) It says, action brings clarity and action is the antidote to fear. When you have a fear, if you take action, it’s the antidote. And then boom, clarity arises. So I guess you could say clarity is the antidote to fear. Maybe, maybe, not all the time, but I think some of the time can be that way. So you didn’t jack it up. I think …

Brad Crowell
Yeah. I’ve never understood it that way before. But (Lesley: Yeah.) action brings clarity and clarity is the antidote to fear. (Lesley: Yeah.) So you know … yeah. So but basically, that’s what she’s talking about here too. Confidence is the sum of your thoughts and then the actions that you take.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, when you take action, you get clarity, so that you take more action to get more clarity. And it just kind of, it kind of snowball is in there. And I I think it’s really easy for us to think some thoughts about something that’s amazing. And then we think about all the things that are reasons why we shouldn’t, do it. And then of course, you feel like shit afterwards, like you don’t, no one walks away from self talk of like, all the reasons why they shouldn’t do something, feeling good about themselves. But if you take some action, and it doesn’t have to be big action, it can just be like Googling the thing that you’re thinking about doing. Right? Like, listen to Laurie Harder. She wants to have her like she’s gonna have a beverage company, she didn’t know how to like, make a beverage. So she could have just thought about how she doesn’t have to do that. And then she’s like, “Okay, I’m just gonna take this one action like Google, how do I do that?” And then she found some words she didn’t know. And then she Googled those. And like, those, even just Googling is an action you can take to get the clarity that you want to have. And so really, and then that brings confidence, like, okay, I can do this because I have information around the thing that I want to do. And now I have the step, the next step to take. (Brad: Yeah.) So I’m in. I thought, I was like, oh, mic drop, and we can just put that on a frame and remind ourselves, that’s what it comes from, you can’t just think things and you can’t you can’t just do things, you got to kind of do them together. What did you love?

Brad Crowell
So this is a little bit of a collection of things that you two, we’re going back and forth. But as I was listening through the episode, you were talking about the necessity of speaking up for yourself. Okay, and particularly, people who are like people pleaser mentality, and the idea of speaking up for yourself. So I’m gonna read a whole bunch of things. And then we can kind of talk about, but you were talking about boundaries and direct communication. And basically, the, the idea here is if you don’t speak up for yourself, you end up being a victim. And you want your and you’re allowing yourself to be the victim, for allowing whatever it is to happen to you. Right. If you don’t speak up for yourself. And her example was her friend was getting her hair cut, and she wanted it to be flat across the banks, but her barber or hairstylist was doing like choppy. Right. And then she came back the next time and like, still did it choppy. And so you know, she’s allowing herself to be the victim of this. And it’s building resentment. It’s all these things. And what you two were discussing, which I thought was really amazing, was you can be declarative, and not confrontational. Okay. Declarative, and not confrontational. So you can say, “Hey, I would love for my bangs to be flat this time.” That’s not confrontational, not like, “Hey, asshole last time I told you to cut to be flat and you made him choppy.” Right. That’s confrontational. So you can be declarative. It doesn’t have to be confrontational. We can say what is on our mind. And it doesn’t have to be a huge sit down. It doesn’t have to be like, “Okay, can I have five minutes of your time? Just the two of us. I just need to talk to you about something right now.” Like that’s so dramatic. It’s so like, you’re building this whole massive thing up and it doesn’t again, that’s like leading to awkwardness which could bring confrontation. Right. And another thing you said is, you can actually make people feel good while you’re doing it. And so what that is, I’m sure you’ve heard this, if you’ve ever been a coach of any team, and you have to critique a student or a child or anything like that, or you know, the coach, usually they say, compliment, critique compliment, right? You sandwich it. Okay, so compliment, critique compliment. So, you know, “I’m so happy to be here today to get my hair cut. Hey, do you mind cutting it this time flat instead of it? You know, because I know you’re so good at that.” Compliment, critique compliment, right? And so it also allows you to make them feel good while you’re basically correcting a behavior. You know, or standing up for yourself speaking up for yourself. Right. It can be done in tones. If I said, you know, “Cut my hair flat.” (Lesley: And I think he’s like) Whoa, whoa, (Lesley: whoa, oh, my God, get out of my chair.) You know, cut my hair flat. You know what I mean? Like, so funny, right? But tones can really, really change that. And yeah, I think that’s enough. I had a couple of other points. But this is like, you know …

Lesley Logan
That was such a great part of the of the episode. And I really hope you all listen to it. Because she, I had not, I have always been proponent of like, just just tell people, it doesn’t be a big deal. I’ll just be like, you know, can we do it like this this time? But what I, what I loved how she said it was like, you know, you can say, “This time, I’d like to do my bangs and oh, by the way, I love that shampoo you gave me last time. I’m loving it.” (Brad: Right. Yeah.) It just and it’s kind of like what you said it’s on a sandwich. But it’s like, you know, it’s it’s got the thing, and it’s just …

Brad Crowell
She call it like a throwaway (Lesley: Yeah) talking point, (Lesley: a throwaway) you know, where it’s like a nice compliment. And it’s like, actually, it softens the blow as it were of the critique or the heart and the harshness or the correction that you are, you know, standing up for yourself.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, and I think, I think also just to go, if you’ve never done this before, it’s okay. If the first couple of times just feel really awkward, you kind of have to prep yourself, again, for a little rehearsal, (Brad: Yeah, yeah) that’s fine. But what I hope you do is celebrate when you do it inside your head, like, “Oh, I just did that. Oh, I did that.” (Brad: Yeah.) Because you’re going to find that becomes easier and easier to do that. And then people just are like, “Oh, that person just knows what they want.” No one’s gonna go, “Oh, that’s a bitch.” They’re gonna be like, “Oh gosh she always knows she wants, she gets what she like, it’s so amazing.” They’re just like, “He did it so well.” And all of a sudden, you’re like the person that everyone’s looking to, to, like, get the things you want. So I that, that segment needs to be saved and re listened to.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, 100%. It was really, really revealing for me, you know, I think that I used to work in a job where I had to be the quote unquote, “bad guy” with things like if if something was wrong, I was the one who has to fix it. And so I had to go constantly have, you know, very challenging conversations all the time. And I remember at the beginning of that, like, I was stressing, I was sweating having this conversation with what, and we’re talking like a vendor, that, like, made a mistake. And you know, it was like, expensive and time and we didn’t have the time or the money. And I was like, I had to basically go yell at them and not yell at them, (Lesley: Yeah) you know, and get them to do the thing, fix the thing without pissing them off yet still, make sure it was corrected, and make sure it didn’t happen again. And I just remember, like, I sat down, I wrote, I like literally wrote down on my, everything I needed to absolutely communicate. And then it was like, alright, cool. And then I took a nice one walk around the block, cooled my head. And then I got on a call. And, and I was like, okay, this wasn’t as bad as I thought it was gonna be. And, and then over time, over the years, and having conversations similar to that as things, you know, as life happens in operations, there’s always something that goes wrong. The, you know, you kind of get good at it, you start to figure it out. And, and also you don’t, it doesn’t have to be this big, massive build up, unless you want it to be, you know what I mean? And that can be part of it too, down the road, when you know what you’re doing with this, these kinds of conversations.

Lesley Logan
And that’s something to notice, like, if you keep making things a big deal, that could be kind of a pattern that you are feeding off of a little bit, there’s something there there. But I want to go back to like, I know a lot of people listening to this can be our teachers and have these clients who like ask certain things or demand certain things, and you’re like, “Oh, my God, I felt like, I don’t do that. Then I’m gonna loose this client.” First of all, it’s okay to lose a client then, like, if you’re so afraid of anything that you do as the version of yourself, that is the best version of yourself pissing off someone off for them to leave, then they need to go. So that’s first and foremost. And so the thought some of your thoughts and the actions you take are going to be the confidence you need to go for someone to go. I had this one client she every third session, she would say that we have to do things differently because it was hurting her back. And the third time she said that to me over I was like, I recall the session we had and the reason we went to a pre Pilates session for that day because she had told me I spent the last eight hours moving art in my garage, she has a art person. And I said, when she said that, I said, look, I gave you a pre Pilates session, it couldn’t have been more protective of your back than I like it couldn’t have been. What you have to recognize is all the things you do on the many hours, you’re not here with me, make a difference in how your back feels. (Brad: Sure.) This is not the only thing that works your back. And so I really love working with you. But if that’s going to be a problem, then this isn’t gonna work out. And she like snap to it and like, gosh, like, okay, and like was fine. So it wasn’t fun. I did not play that through in my head beforehand, because it happened in the session. (Brad: Yeah.) And I but I will say that, having those thoughts about how do I stand up for myself with clients that are truly not respecting me as their teacher and wanting to be the teacher of their own session, which is not, that’s not what you pay me for. You pay me to teach you. So having that and then taking that action. I got so much frickin confidence from that as like. So I just say, you know, it’s okay, did not I did not say it in like a mean way. I like literally, I was like really honest with her. And I and I said it with a smile on my face. And I just said, I hate to lose you. But you know, I want you to feel safe. And if you don’t, (Brad: Yeah) that’s okay. And you do that one time and oh you’ll have their pick kicking your step ladies, you will and (Brad: Yeah) find gentlemen listening.

Brad Crowell
All right. So finally, let’s talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Elle Russ? So this is a two parter. Where she didn’t actually explicitly say the second part, but I inferred it. So I wanted to break it down a little bit more. She said, identify the pattern. Okay. But then the two of you also had a conversation about changing the pattern, which we just briefly discussed a little bit ago. But effectively, what is the pattern that happens to me, but not other people? What are those patterns that keep happening? You know, like, for example, I think we’ve talked about this before, but you’re going to keep dating the same people until you change. Okay. And that’s funny to say, it’s it’s like, (Lesley: Oh) the until you change part is not obvious, actually.

Lesley Logan
I know, you keep thinking you change the partner, but it’s actually you. (Brad: Yeah, it’s actually you.) That’s what Lauren Zoeller would say.

Brad Crowell
Right, so what are the patterns that keep happening to me? But none of the people and why are those things happening to me? And she talked about writing them down. What are, write down those patterns, right? And, and then she said, patterns will continue to happen until you stop them. And then how do you change those patterns? Right? So, right, she said, she start small, okay, small changes of some of these patterns, and write down the changes that you’re going to make. So, you know, for example, let’s say you keep getting clients that late cancel on you, okay, and I’m just going to compare this to teachers, again. If you continue to get clients that late cancel you, and you’re annoyed by that it’s, you know, what’s happening over time builds resentment, frustration, you know, anger, all the things, eventually you explode, you know, one time and you just, like, throw things at the wall, because they, you know, they like to canceled on you again, you know, and so you can, you know, start small, by making a change in you, in making a change in your policies, and making the change in how you address these situations. There’s a lot of little micro changes that you can make, but pick one and then do it.

Lesley Logan
Well, you can go back to dating relationships, because because everyone listens has done that. If the partner you’re with, never picks up around the, like picks up their dirty laundry, and you never say to pick up your dirty laundry. And then the one day, we’ve all done it, where you just fucking lose it. (Brad: Yeah. You freak out.) Like something happens, has nothing to do laundry, but you trip on the laundry and you’re like, “You never pick this up.” And they’re like, “You never told me. Like, do you never say that bothered you?” (Brad: Right.) Do you see the common denominators? You, you didn’t, you tripped on it. You never said anything. You kept it to yourself, and you thought, “Oh, this will just be fine.” It’s not fine. If it bothers you say something.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, I mean, definitely, you know, that’s annoying. (Lesley: That’s changer.) I completely understand. It’s annoying that they don’t pick up their stuff, but like, have you expressed it? You know, and if you have and has it been in a angry way, like we talked about the beginning or a kind way, you know, so, you know, I think start small write down the changes that you’re making. Right? And then something else was that she said, which kind of goes in parallel to that is to detach yourself from people who are toxic. She was talking about confidence and dreams and but, you know, basically change could be, you know, isolation, or actually. But I just realized I’m spilling into your takeaway. So, what about you?

Lesley Logan
I was just like, I was just like, “Oh were you just gonna tell you all the takeaways.” And you just gonna say … because I’m gonna just pipe in and just say, “Excuse me, it’s my takeaway.” Thank you.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, hey, don’t take my takeaway. (Lesley: Don’t take my takeaway.) Don’t take my takeaway. (Lesley laughs) Did you like you know, not take my takeaway, please.

Lesley Logan
Hey, I loved your takeaway. But can I have my takeaway back? (Brad laughs) Thank you. So keep your dreams close to the vest. You know, here’s we, first of all, we had a whole conversation and she was quite blunt about you hanging around people who are not super awesome for you. (Brad: Yeah.) And that bluntness might be hard to take, but like, I love honesty, it’s the best policy and just so like, keep dreams close the best, here’s the deal. It’s important to have people in your life that you can share things with. But if you don’t have those people in your life, you gotta you gotta keep those things close to your vest, so that you, especially if you are not yet feeling confident around things, you gotta build that confidence up before you share things. Because when you share something, and you are vulnerable around it, you are not yet confident in it. And someone says, the thing that you’re probably worried about, because they will, you know, that’s going to shatter that dream, and you might not make it happen. And so you be mindful of that.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, can be a big stumbling block with your confidence. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) So, you know, keeping them clo… keeping your dreams close to your vest, you know, basically, she kept referring to Mary, I don’t know, apparently, Mary’s angry. So Mary doesn’t believe in you. Mary doesn’t believe in herself. Mary, actually, you know, shit talks, the goals that you have, and the dreams that you have. And so, really, but Mary has been your best friend for 30 years? Well, you know, Mary’s not helping you, she’s actually not being your friend. She’s actually what she’s doing is projecting her fears onto you. (Lesley: Yeah) Those fears could simply be her own, you know, like, like, lack of dreams. But those fears could also be fear of loss. If you are successful with the thing, maybe that thing takes you away from her. She doesn’t want that. Right. She doesn’t really understand even though she’s sabotaging you, (Lesley: Yeah.) but she is.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. No, and so you may have to stop, stop telling Mary some things and you might have to find. Like I have some friends that I really told my business stuff to. And I have some friends I just talk about life with. And it’s (Brad: Sure.) not because I don’t actually, the friends I got my life with probably would totally support those business ideas and dreams. But they’re not yet solidified yet, all the way. And those friends that are like my life friend might not really understand it. And if I get a question that at all, is like where I’m a little worried and something it could totally derail it. And it’s not because they’re bad. Like they’re doing it intentionally. It’s just like, I’m not confident on that thing yet. So make sure you know who you want to tell things to and who you don’t. And so take practice. And if you’re a 30 year old friend of Mary, that you’ve had forever and your life is being like that. It’s okay to just start like, maybe don’t talk to Mary every day. Maybe Mary gets a weekly call, and then maybe Mary gets 10 day call and then they call. And if, and if Mary asks you what’s going on, because Mary built up the gumption you can go, “Wow, that’s amazing. Thank you for asking. I’m just really working on some things right now. (Brad: Yeah.) I love you. Working on some things right now.” It is okay. I don’t know why a lot of people like to keep friends around. But don’t make them feel happy. They’re so afraid to like, let go of these people. It’s not that it’s you can pick them back up when you are strong enough to handle those things. (Brad: Yeah.) Until you have the confidence around the things you want to do and the life you want to have. You need to be super protective of it. You need to, you need to make sure you have all the protection up before you take it on to the world. You know, so I hope this helps you with your confidence, guys. I really, I might put this on repeat. I really loved it. It’s so good.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, yeah. And I can’t wait to have Elle Russ back to talk about her, her, you know, experience with the thyroid stuff too. So …

Lesley Logan
I know. Elle, that’s your your invitation. (Brad: Yeah.) Call us back. Well, I’m Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell
And, I’m Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful to have you here. How are you going to use these tips in your life to build your confidence? Let us know. Tag @_elleruss, tag the @be_it_pod. Share it with your girlfriend, share with this with Mary. You know the one, (Lesley laughs) the one with your life. (Brad: … we send it to Mary.) Hey, Mary (Lesley and Brad laughs) I’ve really … Do whatever you want with it. But whatever you do make sure that you are taking messy action because perfect is boring and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell
Bye for now.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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