Recognizing Personality

Types for Behavior and

Personal Growth

Ep. 230 with Lesley & Brad

“If you’re not willing to let go of whatever that thing (you are struggling with) is, you need to reframe why it is that you’re doing it.”

Lesley Logan

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Show Notes

Lesley and Brad discuss the most important insights shared by Erin Baute, an experienced behaviorist, about the power of the Enneagram personality test. Erin shared how the Enneagram practice offers a holistic approach to self-awareness and personal growth. Tune in to learn more about recognizing your personality type, recovering your true identity, and changing your motivation and behavior through the Enneagram practice.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • How the Enneagram personality test works.
  • Reconnecting with your authentic self and regaining true identity.
  • Reframing your ‘why’ and reevaluating your commitment
  • How to rediscover who you are.
  • The four action steps to changing unhealthy behavior.

Episode References/Links:

Transcript

Lesley Logan: We get a lot of DMS, from listeners who are hard on themselves about having to relearn a lesson. It’s like, why are you making this even harder by like beating yourselves up that you are still learning this lesson, like, embrace that personal growth. That’s like, that’s, if you don’t fight it and don’t get badly you should be further along than you are. It’s part of your journey. And if you know your Enneagram, you can actually really tap into your personal journey even better.

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Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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Lesley Logan
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life Brad and I dig into the thought provoking convo I had with Erin Baute in our last episode. If you haven’t yet listened to that interview, feel free, feel free. You can feel all the freeness to pause this now go back and listen to that one. And then come back and join us.

Brad Crowell 0:36
Feel that freeness!

Lesley Logan 0:37
Feel that freeness. Well, you know what? Based on today’s, I mean, that should have been, it’s a feel that freeness convo is really what it was because it’s actually very freeing. When you think about what we’re about to talk about.

Yes, we’re gonna hint (…)

Yeah, I mean, some of these, some of our listeners are perfectly overachiever. And I’ve already listened to the interview. I already know. So, today, June 29th, if you’re listening on the day this drops is National Work From Home day. So, let’s celebrate all of you who W F H. Those who have Pilates studios, work from home like we do. Maybe you work from home part of the time. And if you don’t work from home, maybe you work from home today. We probably should have let you know to do that last week. You know, I actually, I kind of love it. But I also one day a week go work at a coffee shop for a change of scenery. Anyways… (Brad: Quite nice, actually.) Yeah. So if you’re WFHing, then tag Be It pod. Let us know what that looks like.

Brad Crowell 1:38
Sorry. I’m playing with my mic over here. Yeah. So I’m sure you hear crunching around.

Lesley Logan 1:44
Just ADHD right over there.

Brad Crowell 1:46
Number three.

Lesley Logan 1:52
Hint, hint, hint. All right. So here is the deal. OPC summer camp is coming. So, you can get on the waitlist at opc.me/event.

Brad Crowell 2:03
Actually, we may have just made the announcement in fact, it’s the… (Lesley: if they go there, they’ll just get to the event anyways.) Yeah, yeah. But here’s, here’s the deal. This is the first time we’ve ever done a summer camp. Okay, so we kind of been toying around with these one off like workshops and live events, kind of things with OPC virtual live events. And this time, we decided to do a two day event, we’re doing two days, the first two day event we’ve ever done virtually like this.

Lesley Logan 2:28
Every OPC teacher and one of our contributors is slaying one of their special T topics. And they’re gonna do a team workshop. If the teaser or something that bothers you, or frustrate you, or you’re just like a hip flexor it out, we have worked on as a team together. So you’re not gonna want to miss out on these topics. You can buy workshops a la carte, you can buy all of them, there is going to be an awesome offer if you buy two of them. I’m not gonna say it right now, because I don’t want to screw it up. But I’m pretty sure the team has it very clearly on the website once ago. So opc.me/event is where you want to go to. There’s going to be a waitlist, if it’s not up, or you’ll actually see it. And with these things, if you can’t make it live, well, we’ll miss you. But you’ll have access to the replays. So even if you’re like, oh my gosh, guys, I’m traveling, great Snag your spot and then you’ll just get the replay in your dashboard… (Brad:Yeah, it’s gonna be awesome.) Yeah, we’re super excited. And then also, we are (…)

Brad Crowell 3:22
So that’s going to be in July. Like the second weekend or something like that.

Lesley Logan 3:27
Yeah, after the holiday. And then if you’re in the US, it’s not holiday everywhere. So, there’s that. And then also, after we’re done with that, we’re gonna get ourselves up on a plane and go to Scotland and then drop down to Leeds for the mullet tour. I don’t think they sing that song there.

Brad Crowell 3:46
You don’t think they sing that song in England?

Lesley Logan 3:48
I don’t know. I don’t know. I have not heard it. But we know maybe there’s a jukebox and you could play it. Yeah.

Brad Crowell 3:56
I feel like we will find it.

Lesley Logan 3:58
We are going to be in Claire Sparrow studio in Leeds. Chapel Allerton is this area and the studio and it’s gonna be so fun. We have business workshops in the beginning, Pilates movement workshops in the afternoon, you can now buy a la carte tickets to these workshops.

Brad Crowell 4:12
Yeah, there’s only a few of those notes. So, if you were thinking about it at all. Get on that. But I just realized, for this summer camp, go to opc.me/event. For the UK tour, you’re going to opc.me/uk. All right?

Lesley Logan 4:29
And so there’s, if you just a hint, if you actually do want to do like two days of workshops, it’s actually cheaper to get the weekend pass plus you get to work out so you want to do that. And there’s actually only a couple of those tickets left. Yeah, and then we’re gonna come back. We’re gonna do, I think I’m doing my final weekend for eLevate as one of the things that’s happening, for around two. And then, we get in the van, and we hit the West Coast.We grab all the dogs…

Brad Crowell 4:59
We are actually going on IRL tour.

Lesley Logan 5:01
Yeah, and we just announced it at the time we’re recording this and holy frickin Molly. Way to go, West Coast on snapping up those tickets. It’s kind of crazy and we’re going to some really exotic towns, we are, we’re going to be in Redlands, Long Beach. We’re gonna be in…

Brad Crowell 5:18
Bakersfield just south of Fresno. Yeah Hanford. Yeah, we’re gonna be in Fairview which is near Sacramento. Oh, cool. Yeah, that’s working. That’s should be…(Lesley: I think it is Fairfield. No Fairview.) Want to say it’s Fairview. We’ll figure that out. Yeah. It’s near Sacramento,

Lesley Logan 5:36
If you’re listening to this now, it is on the site. So don’t worry. We’ll have it on our map. And then we’re gonna go all the way through Oregon and to Seattle. Yeah. So, West Coast. We’ve been wanting to this for years. We promised for years. This is the time if you want us to keep doing it. Yep. Snag your spot.

Brad Crowell 5:53
We’ll have some upcoming tour announcements as well. We’re adding more respondents.

Lesley Logan 5:57
Also with super cool not to each class, but maybe some more simplification. Yeah. So here’s the thing about the West Coast, your studios are small. So these classes are intimate. So you do want to be fast on ticket a ticket. But we’re also able to do some workshops, which we never have. We’ve only been able to do in Atlanta. So I’m really, really excited because we get to really hang out for a while. It’s not just I hit it and quit it like we’re, we’re spending time. Oh, we spent some time with y’all. And then in September, we come back. And in September, we are in Poland. So you want to go to contrologypilatesconference.com for that information. It’s actually really special. We haven’t been in Poland since 2018. And it just that’s also an intimate setting, which I’m really excited about. And then finally, Cambodia. We started looking at our flight for this, Oh my gosh, I’m so excited also like we have some family coming on this one.

Brad Crowell 6:48
Yeah, so it’s gonna be amazing. lesleylogan.co/retreat to get your tickets to join us in Cambodia, there is totally still time. I know, it may seem like a little like, whoa, that’s on the other side of the world. But like Lesley just said, We just are looking at our tickets, you don’t wanna miss out on anything.

Lesley Logan 7:04
Plane tickets prices, you don’t want to buy them too early.

Brad Crowell 7:06
And we have done this trip so many times. We have like all of the details prepped and ready just for you. So, as soon as you place your deposit, actually affect at this point, it’ll be, we’ll have to figure out like getting the full payment from you. Because July here we’re getting all that stuff lined up now. But there’s still time to join us. And we’ll have, we’ll make sure you have links to travel insurance if you want that. You know we’ll pick you up from the airport, everything.

Lesley Logan 7:33
You don’t need to be an experienced traveler who have all the taken care of and the people who are going to be on this trip that have already signed up are absolutely part of your family. Yeah, it’s your life forever.

Brad Crowell 7:43
Great group already coming and so don’t miss it. It’s gonna be awesome.

Lesley Logan 7:47
So, clearly, we do not slow down for summer. I don’t know what summer nights are for you. But they are opposite for us. I will hibernate in the winter.

Brad Crowell 7:57
Heck yeah, that’s how we do because actually November we used to have some plans, they got cancelled. So we’re still working out the specifics on all that stuff.

Lesley Logan 8:04
Well, now there’s this new things. Don’t worry about November, guys, we’re coming out.

Yeah, well, we’ll keep you posted.

There’s no rest for the weary. I’ll be really honest, we are just gonna keep on keeping on. So just, you know, stick to this or listen to like read the newsletters because that’s where the stuff happens as quickly as possible. All right, we should talk about Erin Baute.

Brad Crowell 8:23
Okay, now let’s talk about Erin Baute, an experienced behaviorist who has embarked on a remarkable journey, shaped by the challenges and triumphs of being a mom and raising a neurodiverse daughter. She seamlessly integrates her extensive knowledge into both her personal and professional life, offering invaluable insights into behaviors, habit changing, and personal growth. So one thing that’s if y’all are in agency, then you got a chance to meet Erin recently when she came in to do a webinar. And I found it like really, really enlightening. Her one of her passions, I mean, she’s a behavior. So she used to work, I just found this out after listening to the episode last week, or earlier this week, sorry, is that she used to run three branches of a health care company and was on the VP track and like, basically kicking ass and taking names and workaholic and realize that she wasn’t enjoying life and wasn’t spending time with her kid or her partner. And so she decided to leave all that. And, you know, and actually now she’s offering her behaviorist services, and she’s really focused on the Enneagram. And so I’m sure you’ve heard of the Enneagram. We’ve joked earlier I joke that I’m type three, I am a type three, Lesley is a 7…(Lesley: 7/7) I’m a 3/4.

Lesley Logan 10:06
So I’m a seven with an eight wing, you’re a three with a four wing I think is what you’re saying. And also, Okay, so, Erin knows this, because we actually saw her for a webinar. Before this week this episode came out but the night before her webinar, we went out to dinner with Jake and Carrie and Jake will be on the podcast and we’ll have an interview coming up with him. He’s got an amazing book out but Carrie is on the podcast Carrie (…). And so we’re out to dinner. And she she says, Oh, well, Jake’s a seven. And to somebody else. I said, Oh, I’m a seven. And she’s like, of course you bucket are like, and then she and then and then Kate jokes like, Oh, you’re seven high five. She’s a one. And basically like…

Brad Crowell 10:44
I felt like oh, what are we talking about? No idea what this means

Lesley Logan 10:48
It honestly makes me feel like I know it has nothing to do with like your sun sign and your moon sign but it’s like when you get around people who do know those things. And they’re like, Ah ha, that’s my he’s a triple Pisces or when they throw out that they know not only the sun, but they know the moon and the rising and they’re just like…

Brad Crowell 11:03
He’s rising and his while he’s sleeping

Lesley Logan 11:06
Yeah, no, anyway, but like it felt like that…(Brad: I’m way in) So it was a little bit like, Okay, now ever. It’s like, it’s like, it feels like the 70s. I’m like, what’s your sign? But then we were sitting down at dinner, Jake was like, Okay, well, let me explain to you all the stuff. And like Erin did a great job. So I’m not going to take any time here with dets. But it was so fun to hear another person dive in deep to this and how they use it in their life and then his coaching world how he uses it. And it just like, the more you dive into this, I feel like you know yourself even more. And when you, I read Erin’s newsletter, so go read her newsletters, because she shares something went on her life. And then she like shares how like it affected her and how her husband reacted, and then how her husband reacted, how that pissed her off. And then she took a step back and goes well, he’s at this, and I’m in this and that’s why it bothered me because him not taking action makes me feel unsafe. And as a seven we’re like a double gas pedal. So like action makes us feel good. Hence take messy action.

Brad Crowell 12:14
Hence most of the things you hear on this pod.

Lesley Logan 12:18
Just trying to spread my seven all around. No, in fact, not one number is better than any other number.

Brad Crowell 12:24
So, what I thought was really helpful was the concept of most tests for personalities. Focus on your behavior.

Lesley Logan 12:41
Like what you do.

Brad Crowell 12:42
What you do, or how you do it. Where the Enneagram focuses on why you do it. And that’s interesting, because the why drives your behavior.

Lesley Logan 12:58
Well, and like I think, well, of course it does. But also I think like, it can be so annoying about like, you have family members in your life, you guys, or you have like co workers, it’s like, why the fuck are they doing like that? That pisses me off. And then it’s like, if you actually were to know them on this level, it is easier to go okay, they do that because it makes them feel safe. Right? When they do that it makes me feel unsafe. They’re not doing that on purpose (…) And also like, how do we own our own reactions to things. And so like you (…)

Brad Crowell 13:36
It’s just what we talked about with her newsletter.

Lesley Logan 13:37
Yes, yes, yes. So anyway, I’m gonna talk about what I loved. Okay, so she said, Enneagram is a practice of returning to our whole selves. So I kind of liked this. I don’t even know what this just came to me. There was this like, book that I read, many, many years ago, Getting The Love You Want. And it was like, when you get into relationships you like fill all of your holes, like you like, Oh, look at how amazing I am. And then, but then your brain thinks it was like the other person did that. And then months later, when both of you stop filling all of your holes, you’re like, you fucking change. It’s like, actually, no, you just were being yourself and you pause, but Enneagram is right in between our whole selves. And so (…)

Brad Crowell 14:17
I like to think of it as like, just to put it in some context here because we basically you know, how people are like, one plus one equals two when it comes to people, right? A half and a half is going to make that whole

Speaker 2 14:35
(well oh my god, right stops for any of that. Yeah, fuck that.)

Brad Crowell 14:39
Right? I think one plus one. You have to be individual, one plus one is going to equal one here, you have two whole people in order to have a functioning relationship. And if you come in with like, half of yourself expecting them to be the other half of you. You’re setting yourself up for eventual failure.

Lesley Logan 15:01
Yeah, yeah, 1,000%. So she talked about like, you can use the Enneagram. To actually, like, understand where you like how you started to use these smaller sets of yourself to feel safe and as resources and you got older, and you’re just working with these smaller sets, but actually, when you know what number you are in the Enneagram, you can actually help yourself move into working with your whole self. And so, so going back to like, some of these personality tests, like, put you in a box, and you’re gonna help you tell you what box you’re in and how to get out of it. So like, I really, really liked it. She also said that of all the behavior models, she loves the anagram, because it helps her appreciate is because it helped her reconnect with her authentic self. And then, and she admitted she was simply lost in touch with oh, we all are equally lost, she was temporarily lost, she was totally lost touch with who her authentic self was. And like, I think we can all admit that we’ve like temperately lost touch with ourselves and not even like one time, like maybe every other every other moment. And so by using the Enneagram, she can regain a sense of her true identity. And it helps her embrace her personal growth. And I think that’s the hard part for a lot of people, we get a lot of DMS, from listeners who are hard on themselves about having to relearn a lesson. It’s like, why are you making this even harder by like beating yourselves up that you are still learning this lesson, like, embrace that personal growth. That’s like, that’s, if you don’t fight it and don’t get badly you should be further along than you are. It’s part of your journey. And if you know your Enneagram, you can actually really tap into your personal journey even better.

Brad Crowell 16:44
Yeah, also to the Enneagram test, which I found really interesting, was a conversation. And I’ve really liked that because Erin said that. There’s only one actual behavior slash personality test that was like empirically studied, meaning like they ran tests on it, like scientific tests. And she said, the win rate on that test is only 46%. I was just like, wow, so like, all these things that we do, like, okay, they might get it right. But chances are high that it’s not exactly right. Right? So(…)

Lesley Logan 17:25
I know, because I took the test, because I was like, oh, I need to know my number before she gets on. And it was like, yeah, I totally took it. And it was like, Okay, well, you could be a three, you could also be a seven, you could be a one. I was like, What do you mean? Right? (…)

Brad Crowell 17:40
So, yeah, the way that she runs it, because she’s been doing this for decades, you know, she, studying behavior, I mean, for decades, and then she really went deep into studying the Enneagram. The way she does the test is by having a conversation. And at the end of it, she effect effectively makes like an assessment of you and says, Hey, based on the conversation that we had, here’s what I’m thinking where you land on the scales, you know…(Lesley: and then they try it on) Yeah. And then she told me, she actually literally told me, she’s like, read more about this and don’t share your results to Lesley. I want you to think through this before you’re influenced by, by especially someone who knows you so well. And I kind of had a laugh about that.

Lesley Logan 18:26
You guys, Erin, he like literally wouldn’t tell me until we got around these friends were throwing numbers around. And then he said his number. I was like, oh, what?

Brad Crowell 18:35
It’s true. Well, one thing I love that she said, is that, she said, the work for her became recovering, recovering it as opposed to being it in a way, because of who she is. She is an overachiever. And she feels safe when again taking action. Right? So she was a high powered, you know, corporate track, on the VP track. And she basically quit all that. And she in her head decided, well, in order for me to have a reason to quit, to tell all my colleagues, I’m just going to go get a PhD now. And she had recently had a child and her child is neuro divergent and requires a lot of attention. And so she basically like stacked on this reason to go do this PhD, which allowed her to quit but also put her in a really difficult position of trying to, you know, do family and go to school. And she realized that she wasn’t winning on this and she decided she needed to change the reason. So, you know, that’s where the recovering she needed to recover the reason for why she was doing the PhD. instead of like, she obviously left her job. So she’s no longer doing the PhD to have an excuse for her old colleagues. So why is she doing it now? You know, and so (…)

Lesley Logan 20:10
I love that, it’s like how can, like, if you are struggling with something like that, it’s like a reframing of it. It’s like, like, maybe why you started to do something that no longer serves you. And if you’re not willing to let go of whatever that thing is, you need to reframe why it is that you’re doing it. That allows you to show up to it in a different way. And be less resentful of the thing.

Brad Crowell 20:31
Yeah, actually, I think that, you know, she definitely talked about, she had to reevaluate her commitment, she decided to change the flow, the process, in fact, she decided, I’m doing this for me. And if I’m doing it for me, then I don’t need to do it on the same timeline as the school. So she took six months off, to focus on family, and then she started doing it again. And she said, you know, if I need to do that again, that’s okay. And it sounds to me like she’s enjoying the process a whole lot more. And it’s not stressing her out, which is really interesting, because her natural inclination is the overachiever of like, I gotta be perfect. They’re gonna get it all done, I gotta get it all. Like, there’s a timeline, you know, and it’s an arbitrary timeline, generally speaking.

Lesley Logan 21:19
I know, after I didn’t know, I was a seven until after I met with her. And I also didn’t know that she was a seven until we did the webinar. And this whole interview is so, I understand all of it in so many ways, I understand so well.

Brad Crowell 21:37
Yeah, so for her, it was what I found interesting is that, you know, you talked about that sense of feeling safe, like, what makes you feel safe, for her working hard, or continuously working is like, I must be doing something and that makes her feel safe. Right? And so that’s where it like, you know, when she originally was working the job, like, what is she going to not work anymore? Right? So she added this PhD into the mix, while also started to do coaching. And that, for sure, will keep her working. You know? And so it’s been an interesting understanding of herself going, Oh, I did this. I did this. Okay, we need to, we need to slow down, you know? and so, anyway, that that’ll really allow her to kind of rediscover…

Lesley Logan 22:27
yeah, herself. And I think like, I want to bring up this one point. That’s, that’s in your notes to talk about, but I want to talk about it. So, you know, when you start to discover, when you start to dive in, and like going, what, well, like, who am I? Why do I do it the way I do? Why am I performing like, behaving like this? You, a lot of times, people want to take the big change, because it’s like, ah, like, I know it now. That’s the thing I have to do. And I’ll go do it. I’ll go do it in the most unsafe place. For example, she had, she talked about that client she had, who was like thinking to change her job. And because she wasn’t speaking up and no one was listening and dadada. And when she discovered, like, when they reached, when they talked about, like, well, what do you mean? No one listen,why don’t you speak up? And she’s like, I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I don’t want to make a mistake. Her perfectionist tendencies was actually created this critical inner voice that told her she wasn’t good enough. And, so, it was like, well, let’s not go do this out the job. That’s actually going to put you in feeling even more unsafe, and it’s actually going to, like, exacerbate your problem. Instead you need to do it in a very safe place for habit change. And you know, we talked about habits all the time, like we talked about, like unraveling the habit no longer have you can’t just like create a void. You can’t just go big or go home, you have to do something small. So she talked about her labor two and four year old put the dishes away. And even if they just like threw the dishes in the drawer, she just had to like, shut the drawer.

Brad Crowell 23:55
Let me chime in here because this is one of my biggest takeaways effect from her interview, is that she said her client who is in the decision making of her job like, like, high level C level exact wasn’t chiming up, chiming in, and when they identified why, which was fear of making a mistake, was debilitating for her. So she wouldn’t ever even propose anything that could get rejected, right? And so this mistake, the control, the perfectionism, all that stuff kind of rolls into one. Then, what’s the obvious, like, natural next step of that is, well, why don’t you try making a little, you know, proposition or and then seeing whatever and Erin actually said, that’s wrong. Don’t do that. That’s not what you want to do. Because that’s the behavior. Right? And that yes, like, like, basically, you need to understand the changes need to start with the why. And then the behavior comes after that. And that to me was like, oh shit, we just change, we just immediately try to change our behavior. Like imagine quitting smoking, I guess I just won’t do it. Right? but it’s not the why behind the, why do you want to smoke, right? Like, that’s just the the actual act of smoking, right? and so in this case changing, like throwing in a my small concept, which could still get her shut down could still get her like back into fear. Just as quickly as a larger idea getting shut down. It’s, that’s actually not going to benefit her, she needed to work on the root of that. And that’s where that control that perfectionism and allowing her kids to make a mess. That was the root, that’s the beginning of allowing her to actually make a proposition in the boardroom later. Crazy, right? Like to think about that kind of stuff.

Lesley Logan 25:52
Yeah, I love it. I love it. I want to know from everyone who’s listening, like, I want to know what your number is, if you know it, I want to know like how you’re trying to use this in your life. Like I think that this is like one of the most powerful pieces of information to help us understand how do we be it until we see it because it’s true, you cannot go be something that could like actually, like the behavior could actually affect you in a way that would like take you back a notch and put you more in an unsafe feeling place.

Brad Crowell 26:23
Yeah, so if you’re watching this on YouTube, leave us a comment below with your number. If you’re on the gram. Leave a comment on the posts. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. All right.

Okay, so finally, let’s talk about those Be It action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Erin Baute. So, she said, relationship, research 69% of the problems that we face are unsolvable. Which I was like, I really wanted her to go more in on that because it didn’t quite unlike. I was like, really? Okay. She said we spent too much time looking for fixes and not enough time, learning how to manage who we are. And cycle through (…)

Lesley Logan 27:19
I actually think that goes back to Dr. Bender stress thing where we just are always trying to find a reason

Brad Crowell 27:25
Hold that thought. She said, This is what, this was like the culmination of what she said, I don’t need to be fixed. I’m a person. I am who I am. Right? So that was like, Whoa, that’s pretty powerful. Okay, sorry.

Lesley Logan 27:41
So, if y’all remember Dr. Bender second episode with us about like this undue stress we put on ourselves, like oftentimes, because we like our reasoning, we’re trying to find a reason for why we feel the way that we feel. And that oftentimes, because we’re trying to find a reason we come up with a reason. And that reason is probably not even accurate. And then we’ve created another problem for ourselves. And so what I love about what Erin just said is like, if 69% of our problems are unsolvable, then that means that there is no reason. There’s nothing to be reasoned with. Like, it’s just, it’s managing the behavior. It’s understanding, like (…)

Brad Crowell 28:13
it’s identifying what is happening and why. And that, again, the Enneagram really helps with understanding the why. So, I think that makes total sense about what Dr. Bender mentioned. So Erin said, understanding those things, she recommends practicing these four steps. So step one, and two, is to notice and name. The step she said, noticing is paying attention to oneself or me. Self awareness, this is like recognizing your Enneagram type. Ask yourself, who are you? who you are, right? Pay attention to the behaviors that you have. And that’s all the noticing, right? And then there’s the naming of it. She said, this is making meaning out of what you do. Right? And that’s your behavior, right? So how does it tie into your identity? Because you can’t change something that is tied to your identity, if you cannot name it, right? so, she’s talking about being able to change your behavior, right? But the behavior isn’t like you have to notice who you are and why you’re doing something before you can understand what you’re doing with the behavior and then that behavior, then you can start to make those kinds of changes. Yeah, but there’s two more steps Yes.

Lesley Logan 29:33
And those are recover and repair. So you have to hit, y’all have to be into your bodies. You have to be with yourself, you actually have to meet your own needs and I think that goes back to that, like, we tried to like meet Oh, this person’s my other half and they’re gonna meet my needs. It’s like, you didn’t meet your own needs you have it because also if you can’t, you can’t expect other people to read your mind you got to be able to like, even if you are unable to meet your own needs, but you have to know how to be meet those needs, if someone can help you with that, you can’t just expect it to happen. So I really, really love that when she came into the webinar, and she was showing that Impala like shake off the stress of like being attacked by, I don’t know, she does something. And I, it was just like, so cool to like, watch this animal, like, meet its own needs in that moment and to recover and like I watch our dogs, like when they want to stretch, they stretch, they don’t, they don’t go stretch, you know, so like they meet their own needs. It’s kind of amazing. Just August is very demanding, He lets us know. And then and then. And then she said, and then the fourth one is repair. So which can equal change in your behavior, but you just set a boundary, she also uses her voice. In fact, you gave the example of like, I have a conversation with my spouse or my kiddos. And I say I want to do this differently. And that’s what this looks like. And then that’s how she can kind of cyclically move through things. Because she can’t solve. It can’t assault like (…)

Brad Crowell 30:59
She is not a problem.

Lesley Logan 31:00
She’s not a problem to be solved. And I think that that is a really cool, you know, four step process that we can all try to do with ourselves and like, take action towards these things. Because my goodness, like, what if you stopped trying to solve yourself as a problem? What if you just saw yourself as like this amazing puzzle, which you could figure out and understand and use it to communicate and like shine bright, you know, like, we all have these. That’s what’s so cool about the, ultimate the Enneagram is, like, each person has like these incredible strengths. You know? Like, I mean, when we were talking with Jake, he was like, Oh, my gosh, you two need a one in your business. And I’m like, I think we have one we have to get our team tested. But you know, like, you’re able to like see that. Alone, you’re awesome. You have amazing skill sets. But like we all have these different skill sets we bring to a table that can really make things work better. So I loved Erin, I loved this so much. I’m like nerding out on my seven with an eight wing and seeing like, where like where I can work on some things and explore more. And also, it really helped me understand, like, why you do things the way you do, which is nice.

Brad Crowell 32:05
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I hope you enjoyed this. Definitely an interesting introduction to the Enneagram. Obviously, we didn’t cover any of the actual explanations about any (…)

Lesley Logan 32:19
Because you got she’s, she’s, she’s a seven. So she’s, I was just gonna gas pedal. She’s got it all there.

Brad Crowell 32:25
Just gonna say we’re gonna have a link to Erin’s site in the show notes. So if you were interested in figuring out that, connect with her, we, you know, we’re excited that we had a chance to do that with her. And so that could be really a great resource for you. And she could be a really great resource for you and then you can get to know her as well.

Lesley Logan 32:45
Yeah. All right, loves, I’m Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 32:47
And I’m Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 32:48
Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful that you’re here. We want to know what your number is. Not your phone number but your, you know, your Enneagram number. And I don’t even know (…) you can also send us a DM on the pod, if you have a question you want us to answer please send it to us, so we can share some support your way and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 33:10
Bye for now.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘Bloom Podcast Network’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
It is produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velasquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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