INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Hey you, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I’m so glad that you’re here. I know that there’s a lot of podcasts you can press play on right now. There’s also like a billion things you could be streaming right now and I, and I just I’m so glad that you pressed play on this so I can drop some gems. And actually, so our guesses we can drop so many gems. Oh my gosh, I have Hilary Hartling here and y’all, I met her through one of our other podcast guests who’s my photographer, Monica Linda of Girl Squad. I’m sure you remember her and her amazing story about how she got started and how she was like, being it till she saw it, until she had this great business she has. And so, I asked her for some guests for my agency group, I said, “Hey, you knows some amazing thought leaders and business women and I would love to showcase them to my group. And she introduced me to Hilary, and I didn’t even know her when we didn’t never even talked to her before. She spoke to our group, actually and she’s brilliant. Brilliant. And also, just so engaging. And so anyways, had her in the group and I was like, “This woman has to be on my podcast, this woman has to be my best friend, this woman. (Lesley laughs) This woman needs to be like in my I just want to be in her orbit.” Right? So um, so anyways, this, there’s so many so many juicy gems in this podcast, I promise you just hit save already, so that you can come back and listen to this episode whenever you want. And I really … when you see that she is a branding specialist, branding expert, branding strategist. You might think this isn’t for you if that’s not what you’re interested in. I promise you women. Ladies, keep listening because there’s just so many life gems in here on like, how to understand what you want on this world. You know, so so I know it’s easy to go, “Oh, this is one of her business ones.” No, this is like life one. (Lesley laughs) And you are going to want to repeat press play again on this one. I swear it’s just we went to different … too many amazing places and it all will make sense in the end. I know it. I just I could have kept going but we like to keep these in an amount of time for commute, a dog walk, you know, a run on the on the beach, or whatever it is you’re doing. So, take a listen, please do us a humungous favor, screenshot, tag Hilary Hartling, tag @be_it_pod with the gem that you’re taking away from the podcast because I know it will warm her heart to see that. It will totally warm mine. And it’s also how this podcast gets out there to other people. So here you go.

—

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and business fitness coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

—

EPISODE

Lesley Logan 3:23
Oh my gosh, Be It listeners. I mean this woman Hilary Hartling is going to become your new best friend. She is freaking awesome. I’m looking for different reasons that we can talk every week because I just love her, her glowing smile and her like outlook on how life is done. So, I can’t wait for you to hear her story. Hilary Hartling thank you for being on the Be It Till You See It podcast. Tell us who you are, what you’re excited about right now?

Hilary Hartling 3:49
Oh my gosh, well, first of all, thank you for having me. It’s so fun to be here because like after we met, I feel like we’ve become instant best friends. So, it’s just like two friends having a conversation, which is exactly the kind of podcasts I like to listen to. So, this is awesome. First of all, I am a former Disney movie marketing executive. I was there for 15 years working with global powerhouse entertainment brands. But now for the last five years, an entrepreneur myself starting my own business and helping other entrepreneurs, build brands that resonate. So, I’m a brand and messaging strategist for entrepreneurs and really helping them infuse meaning into their brand. Define what it stands for, power it with story, and really strengthen it with value, so they have something clear that they can go out into the world with feeling confident about it. And attract the right people so they create a dream business for themselves.

Lesley Logan 4:40
Okay, love this. And I I mean, the fact that you worked at Disney, I do wonder if like you just like every office is lined with like Disney characters and princess costumes. (Lesley laughs)

Hilary Hartling 4:52
It’s not, it’s not foreign to see that at Disney (Lesley laughs) In fact, it’s what’s funny is I should have kept more. But when you’re there for so long, you don’t think like at one point that I was friends with everybody. So like the movers on the studio lot, my BFF. They would bring me old art prints from animation of like a Tarzan painted print that I would have my office for a while, but then I was like, “Okay, I’m over that for right now.” But I should have kept that.

Lesley Logan 5:18
Right because that’s like, you could be auctioning that stuff (Lesley laughs) (Hilary: I mean or put it in the baby’s room or something. Right?) (Hilary laughs) Oh right. Put it in Ruby’s room. Yeah, oh my God. Okay. So, I think for people who are listening this, they might be like, “Okay, branding, I you know, I’m not starting my business yet, or I don’t I don’t know, if I’m ready for branding. ” I think it’s easy to for people to either a get so wrapped up on branding themselves that they don’t build the business or not build the business because they’re not branded yet. Like, can we talk a little bit about like those scenarios? (Hilary: Yeah) Like, how does a brand like how would someone like take the next step without like, (Hilary: Yeah) perfectly being branded in a box?

Hilary Hartling 5:55
Well, here’s the thing, too, you are a brand, even when you don’t have a business, right? Because your brand is the experience that you leave behind, right? It’s how it’s what people expect of you. It’s how you’re known. It’s your reputation. And it’s, you know, so thinking about it intentionally is what you want to start to do, whether you’re in a career, like at corporate Disney, or whether you’re starting your own business. It’s really coming at it with intention to say, “Who am I?” I mean, it’s a brand is having a strategy for your business. (Lesley: Yeah) So if you don’t have a strategy for your business now, here’s the thing. Some people might not understand that because they don’t understand what brand strategy is. They think of a brand, and they think of a logo. They think of a brand. They think of their colors on Instagram. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah) Right? (Lesley: Yeah) And like, how do you navigate Canva to make it look like a brand? And that’s a small, itty bitty part of it. But really, it’s about what experience do you want to have your audience have? And then what are the, what’s your secret sauce? Like, what’s your unique brilliance that you bring to the table that nobody else does? And that’s the beginning of your brand.

Lesley Logan 7:03
I I love what you said, it’s, it’s like, how you how people feel, or how you leave people feeling as you said. Right? (Hilary: Yeah) That is, I think that’s actually something it’s easy to think about, like, you know, it’s easy to think maybe you can’t think of what you’re gonna make yet or create yet, but you can think like how do I want people to feel. So, I’m about to create something, a product for people who want to take their teaching to the next level. And and I was getting, like, my team was asking me all these questions and stuff and I was like, “Hold on, I just really need to figure out how I want them to end,” like when they leave it, I need to know what they who they are afterwards and then I can work backwards and they’re like, like just you know, one moment. (Lesley laughs) One moment …

Hilary Hartling 7:44
Yeah. It really just starts like if you actually started with your brand and you just started with the vision for where you’re headed. Right? Vision for where you’re headed so you can then back out of that and say like, “What do I do need to do on a daily basis (that equals your mission). Daily basis to get me closer to that vision?”

Lesley Logan 8:00
Oh my gosh, I think that is the best like that it couldn’t be more be it till you see it than that right there. (Lesley laughs) What is your vision? Right? And then the mission is how you act each day to that. That is, (Hilary: Yeah) ah, that is …

Hilary Hartling 8:13
And I’ve done this in so many ways, in so many fashions throughout my life. The Be It Till till You See It is literally without that being my exact mantra that’s how I live my … it’s how you manifest it. Right? (Lesley: Yeah) Like, I was in a job right after my undergraduate, so Bachelor’s in Business. And I went worked at ad agency in Seattle. And I could not have been more bored. I was doing print media insertion orders for Boeing and Silicon Graphics International (Lesley laughs) and so I was like placing ads and like Aviation Week and Space Technology Magazine like (Lesley: Whoa) something I would never read it was like, it’s so nice to have a job but I was so bored. I’m like, I’m not inspired. This is not exciting. So, what I did was I took a step back and I said, “Well, who am I? Who do I want to be? And what do I love?” Because you can market. I was in marketing advertising. You can market or advertise anything. You can brand anything. (Lesley: Yeah.) “What do you want to work on?” So I just made a list, even if it didn’t make sense and movies was always the top of my list. So movies became my vision. I knew nothing about the movie business. I didn’t even understand that like Touchstone Pictures belonged under the Walt Disney Studios banner, right? Like there’s all these things about the movie business. But I went and got my graduate degree because the program had specific ties back to Hollywood. And I was going to do my internship there. But so what I did that entire year, I was in Boston at Emerson College, I papered my entire apartment wall in movie studio posters. (Lesley: Oh my God) Ones that inspired me. I decided I want to work for one of the major seven motion picture studios marketing department, I was that clear. I told everybody about it. Everybody knew what I wanted to do. Whenever we got to choose a project to do in school, I was always like, “I’m marketing this movie in China. I’m going to figure out how to do that.” Right? I always use it as an example. The one book I read was “Work in Progress by Michael Eisner,” who at that time was the CEO of Disney, I didn’t even have a desire to work specifically at Disney. It was just one of the major motion picture studios. But I kept that vision, so clear, so defined. I got an internship at DreamWorks. And then two months after that a job at Disney and then I made that job my own for 15 years.

Lesley Logan 10:29
This okay. My friend who’s listening while walking your dogs, I hope you just heard, like literally the roadmap of being it till you see it without even that that’s the thing. You we have to have that clarity, we will have to go get really granular in what that looks like. Because that becomes really tangible than you know what classes to take, or what books to read or (Hilary: Yeah) what to look up. Like, I have people who are like, “Oh, I want to be on X, Y and Z platform.” I’m like, “Okay, are you a member of their thing? Do you watch their classes? Do you follow their instructors?” (Hilary: Yeah) And me like …

Hilary Hartling 11:01
Who to network with? Who to seek out? And like, find a group or some… like something like in, it this is an anything you do but especially in Hollywood. It’s who you know, (Lesley: Oh yeah) to not knowing anyone going to that that market. I’m like, “How am I gonna do…? So internship was the best way to get your foot in the door. And then the whole time I was there, I was super intentional. The work I did as an intern, like as a graduate intern was not super challenging for me, (Lesley laughs) however. What I learned was how to navigate a studio, who were all the important departments, what kinds of departments I might want to work for in marketing, at a studio, right? I learned and then I made connections, and I networked and then all these people at Disney had lunch there every other day. Like, that’s how you do it. It’s the people that will bring you in.

Lesley Logan 11:46
Yeah, you’re … you’re 100% correct. I think so many times we get caught up on like, what we don’t know, like, “I don’t know enough. I don’t know, I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know enough.” But it really is who you know, like, (Hilary: It is) because the pe… (Hilary: You can learn anything) you can learn anything. I mean, I always tell people, if you can hire her personality, you can teach skill. Like, if you think someone is amazing, and they totally fit your vibe. You can teach them anything you need them to know. (Hilary: Yeah) But you can’t …

Hilary Hartling 12:09
Yeah, my first job at the ad agency in Seattle, they literally told me on my first day, I was up against this other woman who had way more experience with me, but they liked me better.

Lesley Logan 12:19
Oh, yeah. I think I’ve told us, either told this to you or I told on another podcast. Oh my God, Brad gets me every time because he’s like, “Lesley, you talked about in podcast,” and I was like, “I know,” but this all happened out of order. (Hilary: Yeah) So forgive me. Um, but I, I was a commercial actor for a very short period of time in my life. And I got I booked my first audition. And it’s not because I was talented at all. It’s just that they liked working with me. (Hilary: Okay) They, they were talking about when I walked in, I overheard them talking about a restaurant who has the best gluten free pancakes. And I said, “I know it’s lunchtime, but someone has to order the gluten free pancakes. I promise you with this on it and this on it, you’re gonna love it.” And they are like, “Okay, thanks.” And then they’re like, “Okay, do you want …?” Like, they asked me to have my audition. I had to be a chef. I can’t cook anything. And I was just like, I was just like talking and acting like I was like, I don’t even know what I was doing. I was just doing stuff with my hands, and talking and making fun because I was like, “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.” So anyways, (Hilary: Yeah) I got a callback, I did the callback, I actually learned how to chop something for that callback. (Hilary laughs) And I booked it. And again, they said, “Welcome to your first commercial.” And I said, I said, “Thanks so much.” And I was like, “I’m really excited to work with you. I’ve no idea what I’m doing. I think it’s gonna be a lot of fun.” That’s why they hired me because I was a lot of fun, you know, and I did fine.

Hilary Hartling 13:37
And I think it comes with the confidence, right? (Lesley: Yeah) it’s it’s trusting yourself that no matter what situation you’re put in, you can figure it out. And that if you just bring your whole self, that’s good enough.

Lesley Logan 13:48
Yeah, can we talk about that for a second? Because that is what a lot of I know a lot of listeners, they asked me about my confidence all the time. And as you just heard in this story “I don’t know what I’m doing,” but I do trust that I know that I can have fun, I can talk with anyone like those are things. How does one trust that? I think maybe it’s a lack of self awareness, I’m sure. Or maybe it’s just that people aren’t giving themselves credit. But do you what I mean, (Hilary: Yeah) how so (Hilary: Yeah) many women don’t have that confidence in themselves to like, figure it out?

Hilary Hartling 14:15
It’s true, I think, I think it comes to I don’t know what it is with a female’s growing up in our society. But um, number one, we are all tend to be some version of a people pleaser, right? We don’t want people to be mad at us, angry at us, awkward with us. Like, we just want things to be smooth. But also like, there’s this like gray area of like, “Oh, I’m bragging about myself. I think I’m so good at something” versus like self deprecating. And that being almost like the norm for that’s what we should do. I don’t know what that is but I feel like confidence comes with competence, too. (Lesley: Yeah) Like, when you feel like you know how to do something. And for you, it can be like, here’s the thing, you know, how to network and talk to people. And that’s what you actually needed for that job. (Lesley: Yeah) You didn’t actually need to know how to be a chef, because you’re going to learn that for the commercial. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right? And so you just needed those other skills. So it’s like almost defining, like, for each situation, like, “What’s necessary for you to feel confident in this this situation?”

Lesley Logan 15:21
Yes, yes. That’s so that that is that is very something tangible, and something people can think about, like, you know, and, and we had Rob Mack, I think he was episode three, y’all. So he talks about having confidence hill, like a valleys and confidence islands and like, the knowing that like, what are your confidence valleys? Likke the things that don’t make you feel confident, because if you spend a ton of time in those valleys, of course, you’re not gonna feel confident. But if you know your islands, then before you go into something, you’re going to feel less confident. And like spend a little time on the island and take (Hilary: Yeah) that with you.

Hilary Hartling 15:52
Well, I’ll tell you this, too, like. So most of my younger years, I was a dancer, it was actually my scholarship for my undergrad, I was on a dance scholarship. So, I was on the dance team (Lesley: Cool) and practice makes perfect. So no matter what it is dancing, business, speaking, if you practice it enough, you’re gonna feel confident when you do the thing. So when I would go out and perform, I realized when we switched, like team captains or whatever, she didn’t have us practice as much as the last one. And I remember getting into a performance like, “Oh, do I remember the next thing I’m supposed to do?” Because in the with all the practice, it was just ingrained, (Lesley: Yeah) it just came naturally. And I think that’s true with everything is like people don’t put give themselves enough runway to practice the thing that they want to do.

Lesley Logan 16:39
Yeah. Well, that that comes with a couple things like needing instant gratification, or like thinking it has to happen sooner, that’s probably the same thing. But like, you know, I do, I do understand that because when I started my business, I’m like, “Okay, I want to, I want to launch something, I want to have these big launches, I want to have this stuff.” But it’s like, really, like, you just gotta at least get people to know what you do first. And like (Hilary: Yeah) giving yourself that runway. And I think people do have that lack of confidence or that nervousness, (Hilary: Yeah) because they haven’t enough time doing the thing before they put it out there. Of course, it’s not gonna feel good.

Hilary Hartling 17:14
I agree. Yeah, and I think part of it is, and I would say this with your branding, too. It’s like finding your superpowers, like, what are those things that you are so good at, that you do feel confident at? And how do you infuse that into the thing that you want to do? Right? So like, one of my I guess superpowers is knowing my audience, but not just knowing them. But like, whatever room I’m in, understanding what’s happening in that room so that I can, so I’m not just rehearse with like, “I’m going to give you this marketing spiel for what I’m doing to support your movie, such and such director.” I’m going to listen to everyone who’s talking in the room, see what the filmmakers are really zoned in on and concerned about. And then I’m going to adjust how I talk about the thing I know that like the back of my hand, but I’m gonna alter how I fit so that it hits home with them. (Lesley: Yeah) Does that makes sense. Right?

Lesley Logan 18:10
100%. I ended up at a styling party, like a stylist party, it was really hilarious. (Lesley and Hilary laughs) Just a day in the life of LA, you know, you end up at a party at the top of the hill, and there’s all these fancy outfits. And, um, and so obviously everyone there’s a stylist, I am not. But, you know, I was listening to conversations and then of course, I was able to somehow insert what I do into a conversation with stylists. And it was, you know, it was really funny. I was like, “Oh, look at me. I can still do this.” (Lesley laughs) (Hilary: Yeah) Yeah. I think that I think that’s really key. So okay, we can talk about so many different things but I want to go back to, you left Disney to create your own thing. And I feel like that’s not an easy decision to make. So how did you leap into doing your own thing, you know?

Hilary Hartling 19:01
Yeah, well, this is an interesting story, too. So, a couple years before leaving Disney, I sort of kind of reached the ceiling of where I could go in my current position. So, I was a VP of Integrated Marketing and Synergy. I had my own department, my own team. It’s what I had had in my vision to create for myself when I was there. And then I think once I reached it, I knew I couldn’t go further in the position I was in. And then when I looked around, I was like, “Do I want any other kind of position? Do I want to move somewhere else?” And because I had created my own dream job, because I put things together my own way, and just had the audacity to say, “This is my job.” And people said, “Great.” (Lesley laughs) It was good crazy. Um, I automatically when you don’t, when you know, you can’t grow in that way, you start to feel stuck. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? And so it just felt like, “Oh, it’s just another movie, or I’m having to remarket myself to all the upper echelon senior executives who keep coming and going, and I have to train them about what I do and the value that I bring.” And that just became just not fun anymore. So while I loved working on movies, I was like, “I feel like I’ve been there done that. It might be time for the next thing.” And the interesting thing is, I spent so long on that vision and on that one dream, I forgot to dream about what was next. (Lesley: Right) So you get to have a bigger dream, you get to have multiple dreams, you don’t get just one dream. (Lesley: Right) Right? And so the joke at Disney is, “If you decide it’s time to go, if you’ve been there for a while, stick around, you’ll get caught in an organizational restructure or voluntary separation package, and you’ll get a really great package.” That’s what I did. (Lesley laughs) I waited. And what’s funny is it was on January 1, 2015. And I decided on January 1, because I’m writing my New Year’s goals and stuff. I said, “You know what, regardless of like, I’ve waited too long. I don’t want to feel stuck anymore. Let me just see, I’m gonna, I’m gonna leave Disney and figure out what’s next.” So, I start Googling I don’t… something about mid career transition or change. And the first thing that popped up was a questionnaire. And the first question on that questionnaire was, “What would you do if you were 10 times bolder?” And I instantly knew the answer. I said, “I would leave Disney, I would not have another job, I would take a whole year off, I would start writing, I would travel, I would get reinspired. I would figure out what that next dream was.” Right? And so two weeks later, on January 15, I got called into a meeting at 9am. And at 9:22, I had gotten laid off in an organizational restructure, and they paid me my whole salary for an entire year. So I got my year off. I …

Lesley Logan 21:46
Oh, my God. I have chills, I have goosebumps, I have so many, this is amazing.

Hilary Hartling 21:53
When you get clear on your vision, even if it’s a vision to say, “I need to figure out my vision.” It happens. So I had that year off. My dad was like, “Oh my God, get another job. You’re gonna have double the salary.” I’m like, “You don’t understand. I need a year.” (Hilary laughs) (Lesley: Yeah) I took the year and I got reinspired. And I figured it out. And, you know, starting my own business was not the top of my list. I needed to like decompress after that many years at such a high octane position. (Lesley: Yeah) I was like, “Oh, there’s a whole world out here, I didn’t realize. Oh, there’s so many people who don’t care about movies, what” (Lesley laughs) Right? Yeah. So those are their people never go to the movies. It’s hilarious. So …

Lesley Logan 22:36
This is so cool. That is really, that is really cool. I mean, that’s when you just know everything happens for you. But also (Hilary: Yeah) like, I mean, would you have been excited about that package? You know, or seen it as a gift? If you hadn’t taken that done that question where you’re like, “I would do this, I would do this.” You’re like, “Oh, look at this gift. Thanks.” (Lesley laughs)

Hilary Hartling 22:57
And I’m sure you know, the universe is always working in your favor. So as soon as you start to get clear, they’re there to support you.

Lesley Logan 23:02
Yeah, yeah, I think that’s I think so true. I think a lot of times people like, “Oh, no, it’s not.” And it’s like, “Well, it doesn’t know what to give you.” It’s like you’re, you’re in limbo and …

Hilary Hartling 23:11
If you’re confused. They’re confused.

Lesley Logan 23:13
Yeah. Yes and everything including … (Hilary: Branding, too.) Yeah. So branding, business, clients, your life.

Hilary Hartling 23:20
Yeah. If you don’t narrow your your message and understand what it is be able to articulate what you do and how it helps and the value you bring. The confusion will lessen the power of your message. And then you’re basically you’re kind of spinning your wheels. Right? You’re doing … you’re expending a lot more energy than you need to to get the thing done that you want to do, because you haven’t taken the time to really focus and get clarity on where you’re headed with your business. So it’s the same in life. It’s the same in business.

Lesley Logan 23:49
Yeah, that is so true. So what are you super excited about right now? Like what are what now you because you’ve had your business for five years now?

Hilary Hartling 23:57
Yeah. So I’m so I all those entire five years, I was also working to manifest Ruby, who is my adopted daughter, she’s two months old right now. (Lesley: Oh my God) Um, she she’s just was a surprise thrown on me at the end of July … she’s amazing. So, I think honestly, one of the things I’m most excited about right now is design… redesigning and being the architect of my work in my life, to create the lifestyle I want, doing the work I love. So it’s not that that wasn’t the priority before, but it’s even more so now to really say like, “What do I prioritize? What’s most important? How can I impart the biggest value in the work smarter, not harder kind of scenario?”

Lesley Logan 24:43
Right. So that you can spend time with her.

Hilary Hartling 24:45
So, I can spend time because she’s my biggest why now. Like, you need to know your why. And she’s the biggest why.

Lesley Logan 24:49
Well, also like, just going back to what we were talking about with women and not like make sure we’re humble, make sure people pleasers and all this stuff like, wouldn’t it be so cool if she was raised in a house where she just saw a bold mom who didn’t worry about like, hurting someone or not that you’re gonna be mean, but like, (Hilary: Yeah, no) “Maybe I’ll say no to something” instead, so you can do what you what your why is.

Hilary Hartling 25:13
Yeah. I’m there, I’m very good. I think even more so since leaving Disney, I’m very good at figuring out the things that lift my energy and the things that drain my energy, and even whether it’s people, projects, opportunities, I say “no” to a lot. And in fact, even on my own discovery calls, my sales calls for one on one clients, I will say to them, at some point in the conversation. I only say “yes” to people who I’m inspired by. So not everybody gets on my calendar, just because we have a sales call doesn’t automatically mean that it’s a “yes” for me. So that makes them work a little harder to say, “Why they want to work with me as well?” But it’s true. Like I do my best work when I’m inspired. And if we go back to what we said in the very beginning, that your brand is this feeling – How do you want people to feel? Why do you think I worked in the movies for so many years? I’m inspired by evoking emotion and that’s what brands do. (Lesley: Yeah) The best brands evoke an emotion and make you feel something and inspire you or motivate you to do something that you never tried before.

Lesley Logan 26:13
Oh, okay. I’ve … like there’s so many things. You’ve said something about being really clear on what you’ll say “yes” to and what you’ll say “no” to. And like what brings like what your energy things are. (Hilary: Yeah) And I do agree like probably while you’re at Disney, that’s a little harder, because when you’re in that high octane environment, you you’re, it’s almost like barometer is off. And so you’re, you’re not really sure at that level. But when you … how did you how did you recalibrate your barometer? And like, what, what are some ways that people can understand like, what they should say “no,” or “yes.” Do you have advice on that? Like, how did you come up with that?

Hilary Hartling 26:45
Yeah, I mean, I mean, that’s part of kind of really knowing your boundaries, your definition of success for you, and what excites you, right? And so like, even I will say, at Disney, um, it wasn’t like, I loved my time at Disney. And there were certain moments in my career at Disney that were like, highlights, where I’m just like, “How did I get here? This is amazing. I’m so grateful to be in this room.” And I would create situations that reinspired me, or like, if this filmmaker came and inspired me, I would make sure that now I’m gonna like, know that director better because the approach he has for talking about his film is exactly how I want to market this movie, or how I would want to brand something. Like I pulled from all of these thoughts and experiences and the amazing people that I got to meet like, I worked with the best storytellers in the entire world. While I was at Disney. It’s people from Marvel, to Pixar, to Disney, to Steve Jobs. Like, you name it, like it was insane and amazing. And still high pressure and high octane but I loved it. But knowing when to say “yes”, and when to say “no,” first of all, you … it does come back to feeling because you have to see how does that feel in your body? When you think about doing that thing? (Lesley: Yeah) Right? If you’re dreading something, “that’s a no, that’s a no.” (Lesley laughs) Right? Now, there’s a different difference between I’m a little bit scared to do something, but it’s challenging, and it’s good for you. (Lesley: Yeah) Like, this is like a full body, “No.” (Lesley: Right) Right? So you have to kind of get back in tune with your own body and your own internal wisdom to understand that. But also, if you’ve kind of defined like, “This is who I am. This is where I want to go.” Like if you ask people, “What do you want?” Not a lot of people know how to answer that. (Lesley: Yeah, that’s true.) Like its a big no.

Lesley Logan 28:35
That’s really true. You know, and I think, a couple years ago, I it wasn’t like I was unsure of what I wanted, but it was just like it for whatever reason it didn’t feel I felt like I put on a coat that wasn’t tailored for me like it (Hilary: Yeah) fit and I could wear it. But I didn’t feel red carpet ready. (Hilary: Yeah) And when the pandemic happened, and we did a whole relook on our goals, and I was working with my coach, I said, “I’m only doing it. I’m only doing what I want to the end of the year.” (Hilary: Yeah) That’s it. That’s as far as I can go. And so then we did that and six weeks later, we moved and we had this whole thing cuz when you know what you want, boom, it’s just like that, like nine days, (Hilary: Shows up) here’s the house, it shows up. (Hilary: Yeah) So then we decided, “Okay, let’s do a big dream. What do we want?” And we have a guest coming up, Hazel Ortega. She does these like big, like miracle, like miracle goals were like, you know, they have to be so big. Like, (Hilary: I love it.) you know, like not, there’s no logical way that that’s gonna happen for you today. But she’s that’s how she dreams. (Hilary: Perfect) And she’s living her life that she wanted. So, I was like, “Let’s go on a walk. Let’s do this.” And now I like literally think about I’m like, “Oh, that’s actually that’s exactly a yes.” Because that is this person did it like because I know my my big thing, (Hilary: Yeah) and then we’ve like, “What do you want?” Like, “Oh, this is what I want?” I’m not gonna share it here because y’all, it’ll come up soon. But … (Hilary: Yeah, it’s okay. Yeah) it’s that it’s, but it’s like you have to know and oftentimes, you’re right. They don’t know and so then you feel a little lost. And I also think you have to listen to your body. I think so many people are looking for a logical reason to say “yes” or “no.” But like “Malcom Gladwell’s Blink,” and then the book “The Gift of Fear,” it’s all about like, your gut, like, like your actual body knows, before your brain …

Hilary Hartling 30:21
… and it’s, it’s less in your head, it’s more in your heart, because your head will take you on all the different … your head will be trying to figure out the answer and giving you all of the scenarios, right? And it’s your heart that’s gonna give you what you really want. (Lesley: Yeah) Yeah … And like, I think, to live your life in like, boldly, you have to have courage to do it, right. And I love the word courage, because the core root of that word is the cor, which means heart in Latin. And so courage just means speaking your heart’s truth. Right? And so if you think about, like, “What do you have the courage to do?” And not a lot of people speak their truth. Like, what it does that really mean? Right? It means being your most authentic self. (Lesley: Yeah) Saying what you want, regardless of what other people might think of what you want.

Lesley Logan 31:08
Yeah, that’s (Hilary: Yeah) beautiful. And also, like, I think people think that courage is like doing things without fear. But it’s actually like not, that’s not at all like, your people are courageous, and they’re doing the (Hilary: Yeah) thing that makes them scared anyway.

Hilary Hartling 30:21
It’s like, it’s actually identifying the fear and facing it. Right? It’s walking through the fear, and you have to go through it. (Lesley: Yeah) Because all the good stuffs on the other side. (Hilary laughs)

Lesley Logan 31:32
It’s all on the other side, it is all on the other side. And for whatever reason, we’re like, “No, I’m just gonna sit here in this fear pool and wait around.” (Lesley laughs)

Hilary Hartling 31:41
You do. Did you know why? The fear pool is, is a feeling we’re used to. (Lesley: Yeah) We’re not actually used to getting everything we want. When you start doing littler things. It’s as easy to manifest big as it is to manifest small, but people need to do the small things to see that it’s possible.

Lesley Logan 31:55
Yeah. How, okay, really quick. So, how did you get used to getting what you wanted? Was that weird for you or were you born that way?

Hilary Hartling 32:03
I was born that way. I think I have a very strong mom, I have a very supportive dad, I had a fabulous, you know, childhood. Not to say that you have to have those things to have, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) to get to have that quality. But I feel like I was always confident in my abilities, and just what I was capable of. And I knew that even if I didn’t know how to do something, I could learn it. And if I was, I learned that if I was one of my sayings, that I say to all my clients, “Is follow your excitement.” Right? Your excitement is the universe, nudging you in the right direction. And when you follow your excitement, that’s literally your heart’s calling. That’s what you’re meant to do. And so if you can start to trust yourself, that actually breeds confidence.

Lesley Logan 32:51
Yeah, that’s 100% true. And I do agree, like you don’t have to have been raised that way to have (Hilary: Yeah) those feelings. (Hilary: No) I think it is, it’s a choice of like, “How do you want to live your life?” Like, “Do you want to live it believing that you can have the things you want? Or would you prefer to live in the place that you don’t.”

Hilary Hartling 33:11
And often they don’t, remember their wins, right? So like, look back at the proof you have in your lifetime of things going the right way. We tend to think of the things that went wrong. But what went right? What did you go after and what happened? What what things showed up and you’re like, “Oh my gosh, this is amazing.” Like those are your wins. And that’s actually your evidence to say that what you desire, what you want to manifest is possible because you got I mean, even if like you have a husband, you manifested that husband.

Lesley Logan 33:41
Oh, when I 100% did and anyone who wants to know, like happy to tell you, but I …(Lesley laughs) I was like intentional about that and I was like, “No, I want this in a partner, I want this.” And if I don’t have those things, I’m not settling. And I think it I think it’s just like, it’s all the wind part is like, I ha… in my coaching group, I have a wins channel. And it is so hard for people to post in there. They feel like (Hilary: Yeah) they don’t wait until the this thing and so I some people and I’m like, “It’s your homework. Every Friday, you must have a fuck yeah, Friday, and you have to list everything that happened this week. That was great. I don’t care how small it was.” And it’s crazy how the more they do it, the more fun they have doing it. And in OPC and in our Pilates group, you know, on and off because people are like, “Oh, I can’t do this exercise. I can’t …” Like, “What did you do? I want to hear what you did. I want to hear what you did. And I want you to celebrate that because I want you to celebrate that you showed up,” because our brain really does pay attention to what makes us feel good and what doesn’t make us feel good. So, I think you’re 100% correct. Like just focusing on what our wins are. Maybe having a little wins journal, you just like type in win (Hilary: Yeah) wins. Maybe …

Hilary Hartling 34:48
You know what I do, I actually take my to-do list and turn it into a ta-da list.

Lesley Logan 34:55
Stop. (Hilary: Yeah) Hold on. Ta-da list? Aaah! Are you going to make journals for this? Like you should make it ta-da list. (Hilary laughs)

Hilary Hartling 35:02
I should. I posted it on social media before. And I think I do it on my Facebook group sometimes. But but yeah, it’s it’s like such an easy thing, right? It’s like, “Okay, what were your to-do today? and now how do you celebrate that as a ta-da?”

Lesley Logan 35:15
Oh, my gosh, Hilary, (Hilary laughs) I really do want like I want my …

Hilary Hartling 35:20
I’m a branding person. So, you know? (Hilary and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 35:22
I do. I do. I want I want the … I want the thing that’s sounds like my kitchen refrigerator, that’s like “ta-da!” (Lesley laughs)

Hilary Hartling 35:30
Right. It’s a good checkbox to be like, “Yeah, ta-da.” Right?

Lesley Logan 35:35
Yeah. Yeah, no, for sure. I was doing my I started writing my … my ta-da’s, daily to-dos … and my team is like, “We have Monday, like just put it in there.” And I’m like, “No, I like to, I like to write it.” (Hilary: Yeah) And yeah, when I hit “Done,” it does this little like, glitter thing. It goes “peww”. (Hilary: Yeah) And you know it’s so fun. But I just I like I like to do the check mark. I’m an elder millennial, like, I like to write it down. So, I couldn’t read my own writing. So, I was like, “We’re gonna call that a done anyways. Win!” (Lesley laughs)

Hilary Hartling 36:02
That’s awesome. When you do and you’re like, “I don’t know what this is but I feel like I did that.” (Lesley: I did it.) (Hilary and Lesley laughs) That’s so good.

Lesley Logan 36:09
Oh my God. Okay, Hillary. So where can we in the best way, stalk you? Where are you at? Where do you hang out?

Hilary Hartling 36:15
I hang out most on Instagram. So it’s at @hilaryhartling. It’s Hilary with one L and then it’s H a r t l i n g. So you can find me there. And then that’s also my website, if you want to just check out all the things that I do and offer and that’s just totally hilaryhartling.com

Lesley Logan 36:29
Amazing. Okay. You gave us so many awesome little things, little nuggets gems in in our conversation already. But to me BE IT is, bold, executable or intrinsic, targetable steps like ways we can prioritize ourselves. So, what would you tell someone listening to this? It can be one thing or whatever has many things did you want (Hilary: Yeah) to to be bolder.

Hilary Hartling 36:54
Yeah, I actually think to live boldly it you need, I think there’s five steps. Okay, the first one is trusting yourself. And I think I mentioned that before. So trust yourself, find a way to regularly get steel so that you can actually listen to and hear your inner voice because it’s there. And that’s when you start trusting it more when you know how to access it. I think number two I mentioned this before too, is follow your excitement, right? That’s how you know you’re going in the right direction. So do that. And then number three, stop comparing because your journey is going to be different from anyone else’s. And you’re going to get farther faster by staying present with your own goals, your own desires, and getting that clarity and vision that you have for your life. Four, I would say redefine what success means to you, right? So this needs to make sense for you. But then to create goals, from that point of view, right? They don’t have to make sense to anyone else but you but redefine what success means to you. For me, success means feeling good. That’s literally what success means. And then I would say the fifth thing, to BE IT you have to be you. Right? You’re always the secret sauce to your personal brand. And when you show up as your like full body, totally authentic self. The right people are going to be drawn into your universe like you are the light that they’ve been searching for. Five steps.

Lesley Logan 38:16
Those brilliant, brilliant, really Hilary, you are amazing. Everyone you can see how you can follow Hilary in the show notes below. This is definitely a podcast that I would put save on and relisten to because this is gold, it’s amazing. I’m just so glad we met and I will come up with a new excuse for us to talk next week. (Hilary: I can’t wait) (Lesley and Hilary laughs) I I just adore you. I’m so excited for you and for Ruby like just that she gets to grow up with a mom like you. Oh my God. (Hilary: Thank you) She’s gonna be unstoppable, like unstoppable.

Hilary Hartling 38:49
She is. She, that’s the word (Lesley and Hilary laughs) Thanks for having me, Lesley.

Lesley Logan 38:55
Oh, a pleasure and we’ll have to do it again. Thank you everyone for listening. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.

—

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

—

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.