It’s OK to Leave

Things Unfinished

Ep. 39 ft. Jessica Valant

“One of my biggest lessons in life now is, ‘Never say never.'”

Jessica Valant

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Bio
Jessica graduated from Regis University in Denver with her Master’s Degree in Physical Therapy in 2000. She received her Pilates training in 2001 through Polestar Pilates and is a Nationally Certified Pilates Teacher and PMA approved continuing education provider.

She has worked with thousands of clients of different backgrounds, ages, injuries and abilities, to help them reach their ultimate health goals.

Jessica is recognized as a leader in the Pilates industry. She has a successful YouTube channel, membership site and blog. She has been named a top 10 finalist in the 2015 Pilates Anytime Next Instructor Contest and a Creator on the Rise by YouTube and has been featured in Pilates Style Magazine (including as a cover model in 2020), Shape, Buzzfeed, Yoga Journal and Thrillist. She teaches popular workshops and courses to other health care professionals and Pilates instructors and is considered an expert in the women’s health arena.

Jessica and her husband, Brian, founded Momentum Fest, a three day Pilates and movement festival, in 2017 in order to create an inclusive, loving and fun place for all people to celebrate movement together.

She is married to her best friend and their days are spent in Denver wrangling two young kids, being in the sun, living their passion through work and drinking coffee.

Show Notes

Please welcome Jessica Valant, creator of Momentum Fest, former Pilates studio owner, and mom of two! Jessica and Lesley dive headfirst into knowing or not knowing when something is finished, leave other things unfinished, and the inner dialogue you have with yourself. After that they talk about priorities, dealing with the overwhelm, and deciding what you actually want.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • Being reminded of your bravery
  • Being unwilling to wait
  • Planning one step at a time
  • Going back to your “why”
  • It’s okay not to know if you’re done or not
  • Having an inner dialogue
  • You can only have so many priorities
  • Brain dumps

References/Links:

Transcript

INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Hello, welcome back. I’m so excited you’re here. I’m, I’m so excited for you. One of the things I love about this podcast is I get to meet lots of new people that I’ve never talked to, and really hear their story. And then another reason is that I get to talk to some of my friends and share their stories and also hear things about them that I probably didn’t know, because I would just talk to them as a friend, I wouldn’t actually go, “Hey, why do you do that? Why why do you ask yourself so many questions?” And that is something I got to do here today with our guests with who is Jessica Valant. Find her at Jessica Valant Pilates, everywhere and she is. First of all, she is such a beautiful human being inside and out. I am honored to be a friend of hers truly, you get to hear how we meet, or how we met, and where our friendship has grown too and also just where she is right now and where she used to be and for my moms this one is for you. She has so much advice for you. And if you’re not a mom, still listen, because if you are a busy person like me with three dogs, and you feel like, “Hey, they they demand my attention too and I have so much going on.” There’s still a lot to take away from this. You’re going to want to take notes while you’re listening. She threw out some awesome questions asked herself and her strategies at the end just I can’t even wait for Brad and I to dive into this podcast and I can’t wait for you to dive into this podcast. So check out the show notes to her links to check her out. Follow her you’re going to want too and also learn more about who she is, why she rocks and listen to this, listen to this interview and enjoy.

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and business fitness coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

EPISODE

Lesley Logan
All right. Thank you so much for being here. Today, I have Jessica Valant. Who I can’t… When I met her first of all, she was wearing a Fiona, Princess Fiona dress. I’m just gonna say that right now. She she actually texted me, which is something that I I really love that she did because at the time in my life, I was less good at texting random people to be friends with even though I wanted to be friends with them. And she was like, “Hey, let’s meet for a drink.” We were at a conference together and let’s get to know each other. And so when I met her, she was dressed up as Princess Fiona. And she acted like we’ve known each other forever, which with social media, may we’ve followed each other for a long time. And, and then we’ve been we just … like slowly became friends over time. And I know as adult, it’s not easy to make friends. But you are someone Jessica, who I just am so grateful to call a friend and you inspire me every day. So welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast. Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself?

Jessica Valant
Yes, and thank you for that and for that reminder, actually, because sometimes I forget that I did that. And when you tell me I’m like, “I’m so proud of myself for doing that.” Because I might have missed out on really one of the most important relationships professionally and personally, you and your family and Brad. But um, I think it’s important to be reminded of times we were brave, because we forget. And right now in the world, actually, I forgotten that I can be brave. So that was a nice reminder. (Lesley: Oh) Thank you.

Lesley Logan
You’re so welcome. I, I, you’re right, I think we do forget if we remember more times we made mistakes. Then we remember like we were brave, probably many more times than that.

Jessica Valant
Right? And what’s the worst thing that would have happened that you said, “No, I’m sorry. I’m busy. I can’t but thanks so much.” Like that’s the worst thing that might have happened, right? (Lesley: Right) But yeah, I’m Jessica. I have been a Pilates teacher and physical therapist for a little over 20 years and I live in Denver now. I have two kids, eight year old, three year old. I’m married. I have a couple businesses and and then I have a whole journey that has brought me here and that’s me. That’s what I do.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, well, y’all. I can’t believe your kids are eight and three because I mean, like, (Jessica: I knew you when I was pregnant with both of them. I know.) (Jessica laughs) Yeah. Like I know. And when and you also put together, y’all when I say an event, like a massive event with a newborn. Like when you DM me and said, “Hey,” we were in a group DM and you’re like, “Hey, y’all, I think I’m gonna do this like, festival like thing.” And you had just had your son I was like, as someone who put on retreats, I was like, “Wow, you go girl,” like, I don’t know how you did that. But I want like, let’s talk about that. And we can talk about other things in your life too. Like, what prompted you to go now is the time to make this thing happen?

Jessica Valant
I, sometimes I really don’t know. But um, I so he was our second, so I think that’s something to keep in mind for anyone planning something I kind of, I kind of knew a little bit what we were getting into, you know, having a second one. So that helped a little bit. So I remember very distinctly, I was pregnant with him and we’re talking very pregnant, like eight months pregnant, and walking the lake, beautiful day here in Denver. And my husband and I have been throwing around this idea about this possible festival for years. And we had recently just that summer moved back to Denver. So I was probably feeling a little bit, um wanting something, you know, how do I create something? We’re in the city that we know, but we haven’t been here for a long time. And I want to create something that’s maybe for me, I was probably feeling that a little bit. But I was literally walking around the lake and it hit me, well, in our industry was also in a tough time, there was a (Lesley: Yeah) lot of infighting. And it was hard for me to see that. And like, “I don’t want that we need community and so how can we do that?” And it really hit me. I’m like, “I think now’s the time.” And I call I called him on that walk and I said, “I think now’s the time that we do it.” And I don’t know, we just started meeting, we literally just moved into our house, we didn’t have Wi-Fi for months. So we were meeting at a local college library, he and I while our older daughter was in preschool, we would meet in the afternoon and use their Wi-Fi in the conference rooms and just talk. And that’s when we decided first that we needed to have teachers. And so I reached out to you and a few people like, well, I know a few people. And as soon as you guys said yes, like, “Okay, I think we need a venue. I think we knew the name.” And literally I went in the first stages of labor at the library. Like that’s how we were yes. I’m like, (Lesley: Oh my God) I think the baby’s coming in the next two days and he did. And so we just, I don’t know, like, I still can’t put my finger on why that felt like the right time. Except that I knew if we didn’t, it really just hit me. If we don’t do it now, we probably won’t. And I think somebody else might and how am I going to feel if somebody else does it, instead. Like how would I feel? I’m like, “I think I want to do it. I think we shouldn’t be the ones to try this.” And that’s what made us do it.

Lesley Logan
Okay, there’s so much to unpack there that I think people can see themselves in. So y’all. I love that you were like, “We don’t have Wi-Fi.” So instead of going, “Well, I’ll wait till we have our internet here.” You’re like, which, by the way waiting for the internet people to come. It’s like, “Okay, we’ll be there in three weeks between 9am and 12pm.” And it’s like, right. And so you’re like, we’re just you you took messy action, you we… you did what you could and then you, I love that you went with the teachers first because I think like that was I got to be one of them. And as we were so excited, I’m sure that that really helped. It’s like instead of going, planning this whole thing and then going, “Okay, well anybody want to teach at it,” you’re like, “Well, let me just see if I can get people to do this.” And so, I love that it’s it’s, you did it one step at a time. And I also love the question. If you, how would you feel if someone else did it? I do like that question because sometimes I asked myself like, “Well, what’s the worst case? What’s the worst thing that can happen?” (Jessica: Yup) But I love that second question. If like, “How would I feel, if someone did it before me?” Oh, that’s so good. So this I want to talk about it, y’all. This is her events called Momentum Fest and it’s actually not just for Pilates teachers. It’s for like, anybody who loves movement, and it’s also not even just Pilates. So, um, so you you truly went and did something so unique that’s not really been done before. Like, I don’t I don’t think it’s ever done before. Now that it’s in its fourth year, fifth year, (Jessica: fourth) fourth year. How do you and maybe you haven’t even talked about this yet or thought about but like, how do you figure out like, what’s the next thing, right? Because sometimes I think the first one is the easier one …

Jessica Valant
Right, exactly and I agree. No expectations. First one was really just proof of concept. Like each teacher that texted me, “Yes,” I was shocked. Like, Brian, that’s my husband, like, “Brian, they said yes.” Like, “They’re gonna come.” I mean, and Grace Hurry is someone who I hadn’t even known professionally at all just through social media. And I’m like, “She’s a great teacher. I’ll just reach out.” I’m like, “Brian, she’s coming from the UK.” I mean, so that’s first off for people wanting to do something hard. Don’t assume people will say, “No”, they might, but people might shock you. (Lesley: Yeah) I mean, they’re, it’s it’s truly amazing. So when you all said, “Yes.” We knew there was a possibility so you’re exactly right. First year was just proof of concepts. You know, we knew, we didn’t want to take loans. Yes, some specific things in mind, boundaries for ourselves. I mean, this was just me and my husband. So we weren’t going to put our family in financial stress. We had to figure it around our other businesses. So we really had boundaries and numbers in mind, how many people do we need to hit, you know, at least to break even? And exactly the next thing was just oh, this was proof of concept cool. The second year, could we possibly either make some money, grow the business and bring in more exhibitors like I really wanted to be able to promote other teachers, I think we doubled the amount of teachers the next year for exposure for more teachers. And then we did have some grand plans in mind to keep growing and then 2020 hit and our entire event was canceled. And so I think that’s one lesson that yes, we had big plans in mind on what might be next and then everything changed. And so now we’re changing goals, changing boundaries, changing all of it. And it really is sitting and thinking, “Okay, is this the goals we set? Are they still realistic?” The vision we had just even the goal as a business, does that still make sense or not in the current world, because we have different things we maybe want to promote now and Pilates has changed, the industry has changed. So it’s definitely a day to day right now, which is a struggle for me. I’m a planner, like, “I want to plan things, I want to know, I work so well within that.” (Lesley: Yeah.) And so to try to plan something in a new unplannable world is not easy for me whatsoever. But I think if you just go back to your why, and that was it was kind of that question again with this year? Do we keep it or do we not? And it was, “How would I feel if we didn’t,” and I just knew I wouldn’t feel right. Like that is really what it comes came down to is, I will not feel right in my soul if we don’t have an event this year, because I feel like people need it. I need it. We need a full circle moment. And sort of it was it just came down to them.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, that makes me think of I could be wrong. But I swear I was on a run years ago, and I heard Brené Brown on a podcast talking about how she hates the bumper sticker. Like, “What would you do if you didn’t think you could fail?” (Jessica: Oh yeah) she sle… and she said like, “What would you do even if you could like, even if you did?” (Jessica: Yeah) and I feel like with you, you’re like, you’ve just it keeps going back to like, “I ju… I’m not done yet.” (Jessica: Yeah) Like, “This isn’t done yet.”

Jessica Valant
That’s exactly what it is. I just am like, “We’re not done yet.” And we might be and at some point with anything in life, like when I sold my studios, that was a hard place to get to. Also I didn’t know I was done yet until it got to a point. I’m like, “One past done. Oops, (Lesley: Yeah) I missed the turn off like … past done.” And I just kind of woke up and knew that, but I think sometimes we don’t and it’s okay not to know if you’re done or not. I just listened to a podcast the other day and actually, it might have been Brené Brown … (Lesley: She’s so good) I know …

Lesley Logan
We can probably just give it to her and even if she’s not, she’ll just actually tell us who it wasn’t her. Because I heard her on a podcast, people kept saying that this quote was from her. And she’s like, “Actually, this is Sonya Renee Taylor.” And I was like, “She’s amazing.” (Jessica: Yeah) So, we attributed to her, she’ll let us know. (Lesley laughs)

Jessica Valant
But it was, it’s okay to leave things unfinished. And again, for my planning personality, like, “No, it’s not, (Jessica laughs) I can’t leave it anything unfinished.” But I thought about that a lot. That I think that’s some grace, we need to give ourselves that it is okay. And I don’t feel that with the event at all like, I love where we are right now. But just other things in life that’s a good lesson for me to realize, you know what it is okay? If you suddenly realize a project you’re doing, a new business relationship you’re in if you suddenly realize, “Gosh, this really isn’t right for me.” I don’t think we have to feel like we have to finish it out for the next year. I mean, you can pivot you you’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to do that.

Lesley Logan
I I love this because I think like you say, as a planner, I think a lot of people don’t want to leave things unfinished, because there’s like, well, then it’s not perfect. Like, “I didn’t do it ‘right'”, in air quotes, you know, and you know, we… let’s I want to talk about your your studios, because I think that a lot of people can resonate, like with ending something. For me, you know, I really struggled, going… before 2020 started, I was struggling with like, “I have the studio, I teach all these people, I love them so much.” But I really, really and being called to OPC, I’m really called to expand this and 10x and bring in more people and with a focus of just connecting and community and not a not and that’s also probably why we’re really good friends, it’s the same thing with Momentum Fest. It’s like, how do we get people who aren’t teachers to also connect and have community and not be perfect and not be like is this exercise, right? And I struggled because I’m like, well, I couldn’t see how I ended the studio. (Jessica: Yeah) I couldn’t see that and when and when and so I just kept going, “Gosh, I wish I had time, wish I had time.” And so when COVID hit, I was like, “So next time we wish were more specific.” We’re like, … “I wish I had time and a plan.” (Lesley laughs)

Jessica Valant
And maybe that coffee shops were still open, maybe …

Lesley Logan
Yeah, and maybe, and maybe that my husband and I are in a one, like a studio apartment working from home together. But, um, I, I, because of COVID I left, you know, that whole studio unfin… like the exit was very unfinished. And it was, it was not how I first saw it happening. And what was a blessing was I had the excuse, like, “Well, the pandemic kind of made me do it.” And what I realized is, “Actually, like, I don’t need that excuse,” like that might work as like, on the surface, might sound really good to other people, and they can understand that. But I also if there wasn’t one, I don’t think I need that.”

Lesley Logan
And so, you know, when you had, so you had two studios in Hawaii, so before Denver before you lived in Hawaii. You know, when you started those, what was the vision? And then how did you know when you were like beyond the exit?

Jessica Valant
Um, I think it was just talking to someone about this yesterday, I think one thing is, in our industry, at least, the pinnacle is, or at least was back 10 years ago, to own your own studios. I mean, that was in Pilates, especially in physical therapy the same, you own your own clinic and studios, and then you’ve reached it. And that’s all I’m like, “That’s it. I’m here, we have two, we have a staff of 19. This is amazing.” And so we ended up leaving Hawaii, which I never thought we’d do either, like one of my biggest lessons in life now is, “Never say never.” Because you you just I never thought I’d own my own business like I never wanted to, you just never know. So we left Hawaii and so I was managing them from afar. And I just was feeling that anxiety every day. I mean, I was looking at the schedule and counting every highlighting are we making our numbers, we’re doing this, it had become very anxiety riddle to me instead of the part I love, which is the community and all of that. And I remember the moment, but I still never thought I would sell whatsoever. But the moment for me, like there was a very clear moment. My husband was out of town so I was with our one year old daughter on my own. And she was at my feet wanting to be held and she was crying to be held but I had to put her down because I got a call from Hawaii from one of my instructors who was locked out of the class and she had a full class in the hall trying to get into she was locked out because the key was inside, the previous instructor had locked the key in the door. So they needed me. I mean, both needed me they needed me desperately, and there was nothing I could do. And my daughter was crying, my feet needed me desperately. And it just hit me, I can’t do both well, I just can’t, some people can but I can’t. And and that was what kind of did it was I think I need to let something though. And I knew myself and one of my top priorities was I didn’t want to let her go. Like I (Lesley: Yeah) thought I’d be a mom who did full time childcare, I always thought that and then she came and I’m like, “No, I want to be home.” I want to at least have the option to be home. And so that was whenever I feel like I’m not doing well enough or I need to make a decision, I kind of have that touchstone I come back to because that for me is what it is, is can I give the kids the time they need and I couldn’t give her the time she needed. And I was going crazy. And so that meant it was time to let someone else do something really good with the studios because they were suffering. Everybody was suffering because I couldn’t let something go. So, man, once I did and handed that key over, I never looked back.

Lesley Logan
Wow! So what what keeps coming up is like you ask yourself really good questions. Do you do this in a journal? Do you do this, um like it just out loud on like, you wanna walk around like, where does this question? Are you just someone who asked good questions.

Jessica Valant
So, have you done any studying of the enneagram at all?

Lesley Logan
I get a little bit and I need to figure out what I am because I hear too much about it.

Jessica Valant
So I decided when COVID when all of this started, and I was in the anxiety place and like, “I have to get myself out of it because I need to serve people better.” So, and I’ve been in therapy a long time ago that served me really well. And I’m like, “This, I need to learn more about myself.” And like … enneagram stuff’s interesting to me anyway, so I dove into it. And I’m almost positive. I’m a six. And one of the biggest things about the six is we have a constant internal dialogue. And I could never put my finger on what that was called. I just assumed everybody does. But literally they describe it as the board meeting going on in your head at all times. So I kind of do have that like, I’m the CEO and then I have another voice who’s doing another voice. And it’s constantly talking which can be very hmm sometimes but also it does. It helps me lay things out and ask myself, “Why I’m doing something? What my motivation is? What are my goals?” and I think the therapy I went through 20 years ago helped with that too. I just I don’t want to go back to that place I was. So for me, it’s important to talk it out. So I usually do just talk it out in my head, I’ll go on a long walk and think it through, really figure out why I’m trying to make a decision or not make a decision. I don’t always do that well, but …

Lesley Logan
That’s a good question, “Why am I not trying to make a decision?” I feel like a lot of people can put that on their like, questions list. If you’re not a six, and you need, (Jessica: Yeah) you need … need a list and there’s about four good ones in here. I’m gonna, I’m gonna take it, so by the time Brad, and I do the recap, I can say, cuz maybe that’s what’s going on. Because I totally feel like I have got a whole conversation happening then I got to talk to Brad. He’s like, “I don’t even know where … like, where are we starting in this conversation?” (Lesley laughs)

Jessica Valant
Brian says that, too! He’s like, “Are you really talking to yourself?” Like, constantly in my head.

Lesley Logan
Yes. Yeah. And so when I actually asked you a question out loud, I just assumed you were with me on that whole dialogue that I just had (Lesley laughs)

Jessica Valant
Exactly, like, “Didn’t you hear all of that? I’ve already made the decision for us, because I’ve been thinking about it for a week.” (Lesley: Yeah) Like, do you not know? (Jessica laughs)

Lesley Logan
Yeah, yeah, I definitely thought it was more my aquarian, but maybe it’s, maybe it’s my enneagram (Jessica: Right) number. So I’ll have to, have to dive into that. So okay. Um, now you’ve two kids. And you, being in Denver, you now work from home, you have an online Pilates platform, you have this festival. What, when you work when you work, when you work for yourself and you’re like, at home and you’ve got kids. I feel like it could, I feel like as an outsider looking in, I wonder, how do you structure a day, because, you know, if there’s a child who’s like, under five, they’re not in school, they’re like asking you for things while you might be wanting to like, do the thing for yourself. So for the moms listen to this, like, how are you structuring a day?

Jessica Valant
I, and right now, it’s like all bets are off since March of 2020 because then the kids were suddenly home. So I will be honest, that it is. It’s just I’m hoping in the fall to have more structure because I do not have enough at all. So I think if you don’t have structure, whether it’s kids or pets, or you know, you’re taking care of elderly parents, whatever it is, it is okay if you don’t have structure, because sometimes we just can’t. So for me, like when the structure itself went out the window, again, I had to kind of go back to what are my main goals because like you, I have an online community, I really want to make sure I’m serving them. So I realized, okay, if I need to not be getting new clients, right now, in order to use my small amount of time to take care of my current community, that will be my goal. So I kind of made sure I knew my top top things, you know, that needed to be done, so that I wasn’t spinning my wheels all over the place. That helped me a little bit. And then for the days, I try, so if you do have, our kids are both in school, like two days a week. So those are the days I do zoom calls, I do my filming the things that I absolutely cannot be interrupted, I will block and batch on those days if I can, as much as I can. And then when I have them, I try really hard not to do both. But it’s not because they don’t I think kids should see you’re working. I mean, my kids absolutely know what I do. They’re a part of it. Everyone who’s a part of my life knows their at Momentum Fest in my videos half the time, like they know what mom does, and that I love it. But I don’t do a good enough job at either if I’m trying to watch them and do social media on my phone, like it just doesn’t work. I’m not serving anybody. So that’s one boundary I try hard to have in place, if I’m with them. If it’s mom time, like when school is over, or whatever, then that’s what it is. And then they know if it’s work time, okay, it’s work time, either my husband’s home, or a lot of times, it’s just after they go to bed at night. And when I’m up till midnight a lot. I don’t love it, but it is what it is right now. So that’s the that’s the few ways I try to structure. It’s not always perfect.

Lesley Logan
Well, thank you for the honesty. And I think that that’s important and it’s true, like right now and tell kids are back in school, the normal amount of hours that they used to be, it’s just really hard. But also, you know, you went back to what your top priorities are. And I think that there’s a blessing and then this disguise of unplanned and not enough boundaries, it’s that you can only have so many priorities. And so you’re only able to do those, you’re not actually able to get distracted by other things, which is probab… it’s actually a good thing because I think too many people are like, “Oh, I’m going to do this social media thing over here. And I’m also going to plan this thing over here” and you’re like, “No, I’m actually going to be doing these things right now and that’s it (Jessica: Yeah) and I’ll be okay with that.” (Jessica: Yeah)

Jessica Valant
And I think it’s okay to drop like I do grocery order only. And I refuse to feel bad about it because that’s something I had to drop. Like, I don’t feel like schlepping the kids. If I have that either. One if the kids aren’t here I have, I’m working and that’s it. I’m not cleaning the house. I’m not ordering groceries, like, I have to use the time for work. And if I do have them, I don’t really like to go to the grocery store at all. So I think unloading the things that you can unload is really good. And then what I try to do is always, like my little shame voices will come out at night, like after the kids go to sleep. It’s “Oh, I didn’t do enough today. I snapped at them, then I wasn’t a good enough, this, I wasn’t good enough that” and so I try to remember that and just do, like, whatever during the day is going to help me at night feel like, “You know what I did my best to serve people today.” That helps me and I have found it’s when I can kind of separate them and just not do them at the same time. I’m either in mom mode, or I’m in work mode. And if I didn’t get something done, it’s okay – but I, at least, was present for those people in those moments.

Lesley Logan
So you, we had another guest here on the podcast, her name is Amy Ledin, she’s a friend of mine, I got to introduce you two actually, you… she has five kids. So and she runs an online business and she actually talked about how at night those voices are the ones that are like, telling you like, “You’re didn’t do this right, you didn’t this right, you didn’t do this right.” And that’s actually how she has this thing called DAC, how she actually plans her next day. Her goals for the day are to like if she’s like, “Oh, I wasn’t present enough as a mom today.” (Jessica: Yeah) She’s like, “Okay, so intentionally, like, I’m gonna spend 15 minutes with each kid just doing whatever they want to do,” right? And so she uses those, like shaming voices to actually, like, dictate how she’s going to show up the next day. Because they’re just the things that we wish we’d already been doing we hadn’t, we promised ourselves we would have done.

Jessica Valant
Yeah, exactly. And I think the other thing, I think that’s perfect. And the other thing that helps me, and maybe it’s because of that constant voice in my head, I will also start to be over…, it just happened this morning, overwhelmed with what I think or how many things I have to do, like, “Oh my gosh, there’s so many.” So I will just sit down immediately, or the next chance I have and I write them all out like, so here it is, I write them all out and get a brain dump from Marie Forleo calls it a “brain dump,” and I dump them all out of my brain and then I can move on. It’s amazing to just get them down on paper, be like, “Okay, now I can prioritize them.” Or if I do, you know, the kids are happily playing for 20 minutes, I’ll look at my list, “I’m like, great, I can get that done, I can check that off, I can check that off.” And that helps me a lot.

Lesley Logan
So I’m my my therapist, who is also a somatic leadership coach. So it’s kind of nice, because sometimes it’s actual therapy. And sometimes it’s like helping me as a leader, I’m like, “Thank … I’m glad you’re both because I don’t have time for more appointments.” (Jessica laughs) But she talks about when you’re overwhelmed, she’s like, she has me write down when I’m overwhelmed all the things just like you do. And then she’s like circle, the ones that are actually like a mental overwhelm. Because then we can talk about that separate because a lot of a lot of us have a pattern that like when something is happening, good or bad. We have a pattern in our brain that we go and do that we go through this like overwhelm rehearsal like a loop. And she’s like, “If it’s serving you, then there’s that’s something different. But if it’s not serving you, then it’s like, we have to redefine that pattern.” We have to like I said, the new pathway in your brain.

Jessica Valant
Yeah, know for sure. And I think for me, the pathway is I’m not doing enough. I’m not good enough. I’m not doing enough versus you’re right. I could probably redefine it as maybe a lesson like, “Oh, I’ve overextended myself, okay, I’ll learn from it.” Or sometimes I write it down like, “That’s not really that long, Jesscia,” like … (Jessica laughs) “You could get that done in an afternoon if you just buckled down.”

Lesley Logan
Yeah, I do the same thing too. I put some things off and I let them like, like, linger in my head is like something I have to do. It’s I don’t know why I do it to myself. But it’s like, it’s a pattern. And then I sit down and do it. If it’s an interrupted, like, I can write a newsletter in 15 minutes. Like, this is not hard. Why did I say like, “Oh, I have to do that. I don’t have enough time for this.” It’s like no, if you just turn your phone over and (Jessica: Yeah …) Yeah, (Jessica: … exactly.) So, what are you excited about right now? Like, what are you looking forward towards? Or what do you what’s on your brain of like, because you’re such a creator. What are you working on?

Jessica Valant
I’m excited for summer, to be honest, like be in Denver. I’m really excited for summer for a little bit of hope. Like, that’s what I feel right now is a little weight off my shoulders, which feels really good and then really Momentum Fest. I mean, we’re on like the five week countdown. (Lesley: Aahhh) So, … like seeing everyone’s excitement and realizing that I can that I can be a part of that, you know, instead of being the creator of it, I’m like, “I just want to be a part of it.” I mean, I think that’s where Momentum Fest comes from is, I it was what I always wanted as a teacher and as a student. So I just love being a part of it like I, I just love being able to lift people up and bring people together. And so yeah, being a part of it and having people excited now that it’s coming, that’s what I’m really excited about, to give some hugs actually …

Lesley Logan
100%. And I think, you know, during during the pandemic, there was a window, where my friend got to have a very small outdoor wedding. And we were, I mean, Brad and I work from home, were essentially quarantining all the time. But we like we’re very intentional for two weeks, like even my brother came to walk the dogs, we’re in our office, because he goes out into the world and so we could go to this wedding. You know, everyone was wearing masks outside anyways, but we wanted to make sure that everyone could feel safe. No one wanted to be the wedding that caused an outbreak. And I didn’t know how much I needed something to look forward to until I got there. And I did not cry at weddings, I was in like, tears at this woman’s wedding. And what I when I think about Momentum Fest this year, is that like, it is something that so many people needed to look forward to like, it’s almost like, like a lighthouse. You know, like we’re all on the ship, we’ve been at sea for a long time and there’s this lighthouse of hope, and of what can be after all of this. And so, I mean, I have so much like love and adoration for you because it’s not easy to… you don’t have all the answers. And you are one of very few people are like, “Okay, I’m gonna do this” during a time where there’s a lot of unknowns and that’s a lot. And I’m glad to hear that you are taking the time to enjoy the excitement around it to.

Jessica Valant
I think I’m just there … (Lesley laughs) because you’re right, it’s been a lot of, “I don’t know, I don’t know,” but really seeing everybody’s support and excitement. Like, “Wow!” it’s really, it’s really good. And yeah, if I get some hugs out of it, I’ll tell you what, (Lesley: Yeah) that’ll make my year.

Lesley Logan
Oh, Brad and I will be the first. We’re gettin’ there early. Okay, Jessica, now that everyone’s in love with you. And I’m sure so many women with children or lots of dogs like me are like, “Oh, thank goodness, I’m not the only one.” Where can they find you, follow you? Where can they connect with you?

Jessica Valant
I am @jessicavalantpilates everywhere. So, YouTube is a great place to go. If you want to find free workouts. I do a lot with women’s health. So, anyone prenatal, postpartum prolapse, hysterectomy, you’ll find a lot of resources if you need it. And then I have a website with a lot of resources and Instagram is always a great place, DM me, email me. I’m all over the place.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, we didn’t even get into all of the women’s health stuff. We’ll have to have you back because I think, you know, one of the things I want to get into with this podcast is like, “How our health can really keep us from be it till we see it.” So well, we’ll have to dive into that um more with you for sure. Okay, so I always ask everyone this question, because it’s so nice to be inspired. It’s so ni… I mean, you also gave some awesome questions and strategies already, but just in case someone is like skip to the end. And they’re like, “Tell me how to Be It Till I See It?” What, what are some strategies that they can do right now that that you would think of for be it till they see it?

Jessica Valant
I think one is to just decide what you actually want and you don’t have to put definitions on it or anything like that. And it can be so out there, I mean, don’t limit yourself. But don’t like don’t see someone on Instagram that you think is awesome. And be like, “I want to do that” without asking yourself, “Oh, do I actually like fashion?” Like I actually that happens to me, I see fashion bloggers and I’m like, “That looks so awesome. I want to be with her.” Well, I don’t even know anything. I don’t like fashion. What would I want to do that. So first is ask yourself truly and be honest and own it and be excited about it. Like what lights a fire under you? What is your dream about what you love, and stay in that lane for now and don’t limit your dreams on that. But don’t try to be somebody you’re not just because you think you should definitely decide what you want … For me, it’s getting out there. Like one, this is so funny when I was thinking about this podcast this week. Zillow and owning a house is one example I have, so we bought the house we’re in a year ago actually in the middle of all of this craziness. But for a year prior maybe two years prior, I had really wanted a house for our family like a house. We were in a walk up with a rooftop and stuff but no yard. I’m like, “I want a house. I want a house” and I just didn’t see how it whatever happened in our neighborhood and everything going on. But I would lurk Zillow, and I’m like, “I’m just gonna get on here and I’m gonna look at houses and save them.” And I knew that just by learning like about houses and what house was going on the market fast and what wasn’t like that information is going to help me I don’t know how, I have no idea how, I don’t know how we’re gonna buy a house here. I don’t know how that’s gonna work. I don’t know how this is gonna help me but it is. And then truly when we came to look at this house, all of that helped because the house didn’t show great, but we knew it was a great buy in this neighborhood that it was rare to find. And it’s been a dream house for us and our family. And so that’s one thing is like, even if you don’t know how something’s going to happen, if you know what you want, and you know what your passions are, just start either following things on social media or getting on Zillow, or doing Pinterest boards about your dream office space, or finding YouTube fitness folks that you love and just follow it and see how they do things that you like, or don’t just be open to getting information because it will serve you when the opportunity comes like prepare yourself so that you’re ready when the opportunity comes because it will you just don’t know how or when.

Lesley Logan
Oh, I have chills and I I can’t wait to dive into this conversation with Brad because he’s gonna have so much to say about that because we have a very similar story like the “How” is for us we moved a year ago as well. The “How” is and like couldn’t figure out the “How” but so, y’all, I really hope you take those two tips and use them and what I’d love for you to do is screenshot this podcast, write your takeaway tag @jessicavalantpilates, tag the @be_it_pod. Let us know so we can cheer for you, root you on and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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