How to Stop Playing Small

Ep. 129 ft. Kate Hutson

“Don’t confuse your free time with your availability.”

Kate Hutson

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Bio

After years of passionate work as a leader, teacher, coach, and mentor, I realized it was time to turn my passion into practical knowledge for the real world– skills that women can use in their everyday lives to help them gain confidence, develop leadership skills, and achieve their wildest dreams. Becoming a Certified Life Coach was my great gift of 2020. Now, I coach women to become courageous leaders in their workplaces and their personal lives. I’ve been in these women’s shoes. I want to be the coach, mentor, and cheerleader that we all need when we’re first starting out.

Being a Life Coach is all about helping my clients overcome fear to create the life they really want. It’s about helping working women take bold action and shatter glass ceilings across the world.

Show Notes

Y’all, it’s time to stop playing small, in your profession, in life, and in your daily routine! Tune into an insightful conversation about the habits you can start today to embody the confidence needed to excel in every area of your life.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • The best ideas from a jungle on the beach
  • Unlearn being agreeable, playing small, and being obedient to fully step into your power
  • The key difference between therapy and life coaching
  • How to create an intentional morning: how can you set up your day to meet your desired emotion by the end of the day?
  • The unfiltered era: letting go of being shiny, pretty, and perfect to everyone
  • Rock, glitter, and gemstones as the newest way to schedule!

References/Links:

Transcript

INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Hey, Be It babe, how are you? Okay, full disclosure, I have tried to do this intro like 17 times, I don’t know, I don’t know why it’s take… normally I’m a one take wonder. And it’s a big joke. If I can’t, if I don’t do in one take, it does take 17 takes. And I share that with you because it’s not, it’s not about being perfect though 17 the other 16 takes we’re actually not imperfect or bad. A couple times the water turned on, another time I dropped something, I sneeze on someone. And three of them, I didn’t even hit record. So it’s okay to be imperfect. In fact, it’s better. It’s way more fun. And some of the things I hear from you the most is how authentic I am and that’s what you like about it. And I share that not to be as like a braggy braggy person, but to give you permission, because I know myself. And I, I remember before I could handle being imperfect, I would let other people make mistakes, but I wouldn’t let me make a mistake. It wasn’t okay for me to make a mistake, but it’s okay for everyone else to make a mistake. And so, if that’s you, if you are giving full permission for imperfection to other people, but you are holding yourself to some sort of standard that is unachievable. Hi, there is another way. And you can be it till you see it. You can literally laugh about the mistake you made just like laugh about it just like (Lesley laughs) laugh about it, you can give yourself permission to try again, it’s called try. Don’t know why Yoda said there’s only do there’s no try. There’s so many tries, and I don’t I know my Star Wars, people are gonna get mad at me. But I please explain to me how he means something different because you can try. And you start again, you can start again, you can start again, you can start again, unless you’re a brain surgeon working on someone’s brain, you can start again. And maybe even they have like some sort of way of figuring that out. So, I love you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for your amazing feedback. Thank you for giving me permission to be authentic. And I hope that this gives you permission to be authentic. And I can’t think of a better guest for this intro to go for this weird trial and error intro to go with. But then our guests hey, Kate Hudson, because this woman is a life coach and executive career coach for women. She is helping women be themselves through their bold versions of themselves to help them see and have the life and career they want to have with joy. And I really I’m excited for you to hear her words because not only are there so many gems, like get your notebook out, okay. But also some great takes on some things that you probably have been doing in your life and wondering if why you do them and if they’re working. I’m talking like some really awesome stuff towards things that like we all do. And we’ve all been told to do and we kind of like us it’s working. And she’s also super authentic. She also is figuring herself out. She’s also been it till she sees it. I can’t wait for you to hear what she’s doing because oh my gosh, the stuff that came from that. Anyway, she’s my new friend. (Lesley laughs) I hope to hang out with her I gotta figure out where she’s in California. So when I’m in there and California can meet her in real life. But if she resonates with you, do me a humongous favor and hers to. Share this with a friend, texted to a friend, screenshot this, tag us both. It’s not only does it help other people get inspired and hear her words and get this podcast out but actually, it helps you remember and solidify what you just learned for this podcast. When you tell someone, “Oh my gosh, I learned X Y and Z from this podcast.” You actually just ingrain it to yourself. If you want to learn something better teach it to somebody. That’s how it goes. So let’s get to Kate because … you got to hear these words, you got to hear these words. And here she is.

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

EPISODE

Lesley Logan
All right, Be It babe. I am really excited because I found this guest. And I was like, “This girl is a being in it till she sees it,” like I am sure she did. And in fact, she has so many Be It moments, so a ways that she acted as if before, like to get to where she is right now. And I can’t wait to have her share her stories, but also how she did it. Because I know so many of you are like, “Yes, I can do it, but maybe not.” And then you kind of fall back at the wayside. So Kate Hutson is here. I’m so excited. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you’re up to these days?

Kate Hutson
Yeah, thanks so much for having me, Lesley. I’m Kate Hutson. I’m a Executive Life Coach and Owner of Shattered Glass Coaching. So in my coaching business, I work with professional women. And it’s kind of where life coaching meets career coaching. So about (Lesley: Cool) half the women I work with are corporate, the other half are business owners. And we’re working on showing up with confidence, taking control of your career, and really like stepping into that most powerful version of you, so that your life and your job can be joyful, fulfilling, energetic, and you can really make it what you want it to be.

Lesley Logan
Okay, that’s amazing. I have so many questions there. But before we go into the things that I’m really eager about, I would love … Was that something you like went to school for? Like, how did you just like, were you like, always, you’re gonna be a coach. How does, do you know what I mean? Like there’s this like point where you’re like learning to be a coach, and then your a coach. I know as a Pilates teache, I was like, “When am I a Pilates teacher?” So what was the journey, because you don’t start off with like a handful of executive women just like pounding on your door going, “Hey, help me balance all these things.”

Kate Hutson
Absolutely. So I’ve always been in like a leadership, teacher coach kind of position even since I was in middle school. And I was doing like assistant coaching for soccer. So I’ve always had this part of me that loves teaching, and helping other people and being that encourager, supporter coach. I was actually a teacher for two years straight out of college, I did teach for America, right out of college in rural Louisiana. So that education teacher piece has always been there. And then I joined to the corporate world in my 20s. And it took me so I was there for seven years. And I enjoyed my position. But I was seeing myself and so many of the women that I worked with, go through the same struggles and the same challenges. And I love being in that leadership position where I could help mentor and guide other women and kind of figure it out together. Then I started speaking at conferences across the country about some of the leadership and training that I was doing with the women that I worked with. And when I started speaking about it and teaching other people and educating and coaching, I was like, “This is where my heart is. This is where my passion is, I have to get out of the company that I’m at.” And I’ve got to start doing this full time, this coaching, speaking, educating piece. And I didn’t know what that looks like. I considered like going into HR for a little while, which looking back that that wasn’t it.

Lesley Logan
The moment you said that my face is like,”ew.” No no no, No offense, HR people listening, but like, it doesn’t like it doesn’t work for you. It’s not what you just described.

Kate Hutson
I know, I know, and so I was like, I don’t know what I want to do. But I know I want to do more of the mentorship, the coaching, the teaching. And I was actually I went to El Salvador on this, like soul seeking journey.

Lesley Logan
I love how, I love either Costa Rica, El Salvador, it’s like (Kate: Right) somewhere International, we all have to go to our eat, pray, love moment.

Kate Hutson
Yes. Somewhere with like a jungle on a beach where you can figure things out. And I’m sitting on a beach with this girl that I met on a surfboard. And I’m telling her like, “I don’t know what to do next in my career. I’ve got to get out of corporate. I want to help women in the corporate world to advance their skills step into their power. How do I do this?” And she’s like, “You need to become a coach, like a life coach or a career coach, you need to become a coach.” I’m like, “Okay, I’ll think on it.” (Lesley: Yeah) So I get home from El Salvador, it stuck with me. And I actually started researching just female coaches, but I thought looked cool on LinkedIn. And I reached out. And I’m like, “Can I borrow 15 minutes of your time and just like, ask you questions about what you do, how you got into it, what your day looks like.” (Lesley: And they said, yes?) Yeah. (Lesley: That is so crazy. That’s amazing.) Right. I know. And I started to kind of just like, build that network of other coaches and pick their brains and realize, like, “Yeah, this is a good fit for me. I can do what they’re doing, and I can do it well, and I would love it like this can be a real career.” And so from there, I was like, “I’m doing this.” I quit my full time job. I did get certified as a coach through the Health Coach Institute. It was like a six month online training. And immediately after completing the training, I launched my business online and the rest is history.

Lesley Logan
That is amazing. Okay, so What what did you do from graduation to first client to make yourself realize that you were what you wanted to be? Because I think a lot of people do a training, I see this in the the world that I’m in, they do a training, but they it’s almost like until they’re year five, they’re so like, well, “I’m, I’m a new, I’m new. I’m a teacher.” Like there’s just like shyness about it like this. Like maybe they’re, they’re not validating themselves yet. So what what was that process for you from going from graduation to client?

Kate Hutson
Yeah, and I think that I knew I wanted to work with professional women. So, I already have that as a baseline. But professional woman, like that’s kind of broad. And so starting to work with people who were my friends, people who were in my network, people who had worked under me previously, where I was their leader at a previous job, working with them kind of helps me dialed in like, okay, here are the specifics of what I think are most important. And I know mindset is such like a broad term, and it’s kind of a buzzword right now. But I think it’s so important, and realizing that the specific mindset of like a corporate woman, and how she develops this mindset of confidence and power, and then utilizes that mindset in her everyday career. That’s where I was like, “Okay, this is interesting.” If you can develop that powerful, bold, confident mindset. That’s where you become truly unstoppable. And it translates into other areas of your life. So I became obsessed with this idea of just like, confidence, being bold, being badass and applying that to personal and professional life.

Lesley Logan
That’s cool. I love this. So all right, this is like where you be, you’re the coach, now you’ve got your coaching all these women. What is it that you see, that is kind of holding women back from stepping into their full power? Because you mentioned that word and like you step into it. So like, what, what, what, is there, is there a common thread? Or is it like, it just depends on the person, but I feel like so many women kind of hold themselves back in everything that they do, like, whether it’s being it till they see it or like actually doing the thing that they that they’re, they they’re in the job, they always wanted and they kind of just feel like we play small.

Kate Hutson
There’s a few common things that I see. And number one, you mentioned playing small. I think that as girls, like we’re raised to play small, we’re taught to play small, we’re programmed to play small, to be agreeable. Like in school, we’re rewarded for being obedient for keeping our mouths shut. And as an adult woman in the corporate environment, or as a business owner, like that doesn’t serve you anymore. Being like agreeable and obedient, and playing small no longer serves you. So you have to unlearn those behaviors, which is easier for some people than others, depending on your environment, the people around you, the way that maybe the company you’re with is pushing you or helping you develop and grow. But coaching and having like a mentor, and that accountability, whether it’s formal, formal or informal, can help women unlearn those behaviors that perhaps you grew up with, that are no longer serving you. And it really is like teaching and training yourself in practicing how to be a risk taker, how to be bold, how to be confident, because that that mindset of I no longer need to stay in my lane. I can switch lanes, turn my blinker on anytime I want. Exit here, come back on. That is really powerful for creating change, and you’re in your career and your life.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, oh, I love that that analogy of like, you can just turn your blinker on, you can just change lanes, you can just exit the freeway, you can take the scenic route, you can come back on. Like, I’m a visual person so I just like pictured all of that (Lesley laughs) that’s so you’re so good at what you do. So, you know, one of, as you said, unlearn. Does that, I mean, as a life coach, I think that’s very different than therapy. So is that like more practical stuff that you have people do? Or is it like, they gotta go to therapy and work on that part? How do you, how do you work on that unlearning part.

Kate Hutson
That’s where it gets a little bit more personal and specific, depending on the person. And I think that with coaching, one thing that’s so great, it’s about being aware of like where you are now, and where you want to go in the future. So therapy is so wonderful for talking through things that have happened in your past and how it’s still affecting you, and how you can work through that it might be trauma, it might just be grief, or things that have impacted you. But coaching is more about looking ahead. And like okay, here’s where I am now, and I have that awareness. And now what can I do with it? How can I change my habits, my actions, my words, my behaviors, to get to this future point that I want to be at?

Lesley Logan
Yeah, that’s thank you for explaining that because to, I understand the difference between the therapy and the life coaching. Sometimes like Brad who listen to this and somebody says, like, “What is what is this life coaching thing? What is it?” Right. And like that is the most that’s the best explanation I’ve ever heard of like the difference between the two because I think it can get really muddy and people get a little confused. So if you’re listening to this and you’re wanting to work on the future, that you need a life coach and if you need to work on your stuff, find a therapist. So, okay, you mentioned habits, and mindset and things like that. What are with these with these women that you specifically coach? Like what are some of the habits that you are having them focus on? Or what are what are you seeing that they should be thinking about as far as habits go?

Kate Hutson
Yeah, so morning routines are huge right now in the personal development world, and you like hear about this from every professional development or personal development book you read. And I am so obsessed with helping my clients dial in an intentional morning. And that can be five minutes or 25 minutes or an hour. But first things first, like if you have something that you need to do in your day, any day, there needs to be some time, some kind of intention behind it. So waking up and starting your day with intention, whether that’s moving your body, journaling, meditation, personal reflection, time, whatever it is developing a morning intention that works for you. And that’s different from person to person. But starting that off and making it a habit is one way that you can move through your day with a lot more intentionality. Rather than just like putting out fires and being reactive, and letting your day run you, you can start to run your day instead. So in terms of habits, that’s where I like to start.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, okay. I like to call it intentional morning. And the big everyone who’s listening knows this. I’m a big morning routine person. I have a very like, I love mine and is now turning to this like three hour (Lesley laughs)

Kate Hutson
Your skincare, right? You have your skincare.

Lesley Logan
Oh, yeah, I have, I do that. I have, I mean, well, the morning routine, you know, starts the night before, really. So starts with a nighttime routine. But I do, I have I had this morning walk that like somehow just keeps getting longer. And then like depending on the day, there’s you know, other parts to it. But then there’s, there’s the time that I also put on the air… or the air purifier, there’s a whole thing, but I don’t think I’ve ever used an intentional morning. And the reason I do that is when I don’t have my intentional morning. It really does set me up in this reactive state. And specifically when we’re talking this is in the past when you’re listening to everyone. I was on my walk but I was totally breaking all of my rules of my morning routine. I was texting people, I was checking my work email. And of course, at eight o’clock, I see something that’s wrong in the business. And I had a complete reaction mode. And I was like, “We have to start this morning over.” (Lesley laughs) We have to start over because I really did not set myself up for how I like my days to go.

Kate Hutson
Exactly. I totally hear you. I noticed a few weeks ago I was getting the Sunday scaries really bad. Which is like pretty unlike me. Usually I’m in a good state over the weekend. But I was like noticing that I was feeling a little bit more anxious than usual on Sundays. And I realized it was because on Sundays I was abandoning what I would call, it’s like my typical morning routine. Like I’m a big journaler, that’s that’s like how I (Lesley: Yeah) set my intention for the day. I wasn’t journaling on Sundays and like sleeping in, coffee in bed, doing something different, just like letting the lazy Sunday get get to me. (Lesley: Yeah) And I’m like, if I would just journal and set that morning intention, then I probably could avoid some of this anxious feeling that I’m having and feel like I’m more set up for like a more joyful day. (Lesley: Yeah) And so I actually incorporated the journaling back into my Sunday. And I’m like, “Okay, that was it.” All I needed to do was like be intentional about it and not abandon the things that keep me centered and grounded.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. And I know, from many of the listeners who have reached out, they’re like, “But what do I journal?” And I, I’m personally a morning pages kind of person, because I don’t I’m a perfectionist, overachiever and recovery. And it’s like, I if you don’t know the story, my therapist is like, “Do you have a journal?” And I said, “I do.” And she’s said this is a couple of years ago. And she’s like,”Okay.” She’s like, “Well, I want you to journal every morning.” And it’s like, “Okay, no problem.” And then the week next week go by and I’m like, “So what am I supposed to journal?” Like, I know. I was like what like, “Do I, do I gratitudes do I …?” And she’s like, “Oh my gosh, just brain dump. That’s all I want you to do.” And it’s kind of crazy how amazing that is. But but I know some people have like set they have questions that they ask themselves like what is for the person who doesn’t like my morning pages. What else do, what else weather journaling prompts can you be doing?

Kate Hutson
Yeah, and my journal is all over the place. Like every day, it’s something different. But as our square one for somebody who’s just getting into journaling, you can simply write like, what do you want your day to look like and feel like? What emotions do you want to feel that day? And then what do you need to do throughout the day to create those emotions. So if you want to feel joyful, if you want to feel energetic, if you want to feel confident, write about how you want to feel and what you can do that day to set yourself up to feel like that. (Lesley: I’m borrowing this.) In that way … Yeah, go for it. In that way, you’re like stating your intention of the day and being proactive. They’re not just about like what’s happening and what you’re accomplishing, but how you want to feel. And if you can do that in advance, then again, you’re not just being reactive and putting out fires, you’re setting yourself up for success. I’m also big into gratitudes, as well. But sometimes, and I actually had one of my coaches who told me this sometimes on the other hand, if I’m like waking up, and I’m in a really negative headspace, for some reason, I’m tired, I’m upset, I’m frustrated about something, one thing I’ll do is get all the negative emotions out on paper. And it’s a bit of a brain dump, but it’s like a like fire on the page brain dump. And then I’ll actually just rip it out of my journal and like, throw it away, I’ve flushed it down the toilet before. And that (Lesley laughs) is so liberating to just like, get those negative thoughts down on paper and then flush them. I’m like, “Goodbye. You’re not staying with me today.” And I use that as a tool sometimes. So you can use journaling, however you need to, whatever you wake up at, like whatever headspace you wake up in, your journal is there as a tool for you. And you can use it accordingly.

Lesley Logan
Oh, I love that permission. Thank you so much for that. And, and I think that’s I think that’s a really good idea. I know some people somebody told me that they burn their morning pages. And I was like, “Wow.” I was doing something the other day, I was trying to burn my sage. And Brad has watched me and he’s like, he’s like, “Oh, my God, you are gonna burn the house down.” I was like, “No, I think I’m okay.” He’s like, “No, you did not play with fire as a child, you have no idea what you’re doing.” (Lesley laughs) And of course, I look around the house and it’s just like smoke everywhere. So so I need to be supervised on the on the flames. But I like the idea of like, ripping it out and getting rid of it. So it’s not you’re not carrying it with you. I think that’s really great. It also just gave like me 17 new things to try out my on my intentional morning. So, I would love to know, because you mentioned your coach, your life coach, I think a lot of people would probably put you up on some sort of pedestal that like, life is so good for you. It’s super, super easy. You’ve got it all figured out. Because I know we’re all imperfect people and we’re all in process. What are you currently like working on and being it till you see it in this moment, like what’s something that you’re focusing on in your career and in your life.

Kate Hutson
Like you, I’m also a recovering like perfectionist, people pleaser, getting over all of that. And right now I’m in what I’m calling my nofilter era. (Kate laughs) And I used to be like this person that wanted to come across as like shiny and pretty and perfect to everybody. And I’m working with my coach to let go of that. And I can be quite want when I want to be. And usually with my friends and family, and I’m working on just like letting that blunt side come across in an authentic way. That’s, that’s kind and is is you know, in alignment with my mission and what I want to do, but in a way that’s genuine, and is like who I am and not trying to please people and saying ‘no’ to people or things on my schedule in my life, in my relationships that like aren’t in alignment with where I want to go. And it’s hard. It’s so hard, especially when you’ve been saying I’ve been a ‘yes’ girl forever. And now I’m in my unfiltered era, (Lesley: I love this so much.) saying no. (Lesley: I know.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan
That’s … Okay. So and maybe, and maybe you’re still working on this. Because I love ‘no,’ I tell people and I’m like, “You think …” because you can always change your mind. You can always go, “You know what, actually my schedule reopen. You know, is it still available?” If it’s not that it wasn’t for you because I’ve been saying forever. And I really thought I heard it from someone else. But I looked it up. And as far as I can tell, I said at first. But if, if I’m wrong, people let me know. But it’s like whatever is for you will not pass you. And so when you say no, and then you’re like, “Oh, maybe I should have said yes” If it is for you, it won’t pass you. You know, like it’s gonna come back around. And it’s really, it’s really insane. There’s one opportunity, I had to pick from two things, one that I really loved the other one I loved, and it paid. And I was like, “Oh, I wonder the thing I really love or the thing that I love and it pays?” And I was like, “I kind of actually need to get paid for what I do. So I’m gonna choose that one.” And I was like, “I can’t believe I’m gonna, like, miss it.” And it was 2020. So I got to do both things online. (Kate: Oh my gosh.) How crazy? Because the way it worked out like I had to do it for my house. So I was able to go, “Hey, you know what, I actually can do both things. I’m only teaching at this thing on these times. I can teach at your thing on these times.” And I have to do both. And so it’s like, you know, be careful … (Kate: It was meant for you.) And it was totally meant for me and I’m so sorry for the pandemic. No, I’m kidding. I did not cause it but um but I use that as a thing. So I love that you’re saying no, I love I think a lot of women are well I think there’s a lot of people that are people pleasers, but a lot of women are because we want to be seen as being nice and being a team player and like we don’t want to rock the boat. We don’t want to anyone to think that we’re you know mean or anything like that. What are you doing to like not people please? Like what are you put… is there something you tell yourself? Is there something that you do like to give a pep talk to yourself, what is it because I know I got a lot of people pleasers listening.

Kate Hutson
Okay, so number one is I’ve learned to realize that when I’m saying no to something, I’m actually saying yes to something else. So if I think about like, okay, a year ago, I was like itching to get out there, you know, things, I live in California, things were opening back up, I wanted to be social, I want to just like, hang out with my friends all the time. And then I realized I was exhausted. And I, like, hadn’t read a book in a month, I was drained. And I’m like, “I need to start saying no to social activities.” Right. And it became a lot easier for me to start saying no, when I realized what it was that I was saying yes to. A good night’s sleep, a night in bed with a cup of tea and a novel. Quiet time with myself, like in the bathtub. I wasn’t getting those things, because I was spending too much time with friends. And when I started to see that I was saying yes to those things. When I said no, it made it a lot easier to say no. So I say that, because for anyone listening, if you’re like, I need to get better at saying no, and drawing those boundaries. If you can think about what are you saying yes to when you’re saying no to something, it makes it a lot easier to put your foot down and say no, and draw that boundary.

Lesley Logan
Brilliant. So brilliant. Such a great thing for anyone, whether you think you’re a people pleaser or not like just any and that… And you know, you may have to like, I know, for myself, I had to put in my calendar, some of those things that I wanted to be doing. So that when I went to when I was asked like, “Hey, can you go to dinner?” I could see it says read a book, walk the dogs, you know, like have those things in there until it becomes so ingrained in you, you don’t have to be reminded of the yes things you know, that might for those of you who need a little bit extra help. That’s what really helped me because I was like, oh, I’m going to be, I’m going to have to, when am I going to read that book? And when am I going to walk the dog, who’s going to walk these dogs? Because they’re not going sleep if they’re not walked. Then I’m not …

Kate Hutson
And not not confusing your free time with your availability.

Lesley Logan
Okay, well, then that’s another good one. (Lesley and Kate laughs) That is such, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, I really love that. That’s true. I have so I, I’m, I have a whole way that I do my schedule. So I have like rocks, gemstones and glitter. Because glitter is the stuff you can do it anytime, right? Like glitter, like a glitter like it gets on everything. So if you’re like, “What’s glitter?” Like if you can do it on the toilet, or you can do it in line at Starbucks. It’s glitter, glitter. You know, like, I know, you could probably sign for a mortgage while you’re out shopping the way everything’s digital. But the truth is, is like anytime you check your email, social media, that’s all glitter, paying your bills, you can do that from like automation, the rock, so these like appointments, that’s when I go to like when you go to bed when you wake up, it’s like when you like those things that are really important to you. And there’s like two kinds of rocks. And then there’s also the ones that like for work. So like when you’d actually do the thing that you do for like, those are rocks, or they’re harder to move, they’re kind of have a set time, they’re pretty big, they take up space. And that’s where they are. And then gemstones is the time that you work on the things that actually you want to have in the future. So these are the things that move your business forward or move your life forward, or things that help you grow into the thing that you want to do. And so I have and my team can see it, they have it has little like the actual emoji of diamonds on all these, like time blocks that are that would be during the day, like when I could be working, but I’m not available. That is my gemstone time. And so when they’re like, “Oh, when can I book these things?” I’m like, “You can book in the office hours,” but you can’t book it. And just because it looks like it’s available doesn’t mean it’s free.

Kate Hutson
That is genius. And it also shows me that you’re really clear on for you what are the priorities and values and things that matter most your WMI what’s most important for moving you forward? Because that’s another tip for saying no and pushing back against people pleasing is to get really clear on what is most important to you. What are your priorities? What are your values? What are the big rocks or gemstones that that are going to move you forward? And not what everyone else would think is wonderful if you are going to do but in your heart of hearts, like what is important to you. And then pushing back against everything that’s not that and being able to say no to things that aren’t part of your priorities and values and most important things in your life. And when you say no to other things. It’s almost this like magnetic no. Where you say no, and it’s a magnet for the things that are meant to be yours. And I love that because it’s such a good reflection of what matters to you, and when you can make your actions in alignment with your values that’s where the magic starts happening.

Lesley Logan
I love it, a magnet no. That’s great. We that’s amazing. I we need it that needs to be like an actual magnet, or something like that has to be something like physical for that. Kate, you need to have merch. All right. We’re going to take a brief pause and then we’ll find out where we can find you, follow you, learn from you, coach with you and all that.

Okay, Kate, where now that everyone is like, “I need to be a magnet for the yes stuff.” And you know, have these magnetic, magnetic propelling noes. What, where can they find you? Where can they coach with you? What do you got?

Kate Hutson
Yeah, my coaching business is called Shattered Glass Coaching. I’m all about the female empowerment. My website is shatteredglasscoaching.com. And that’s where you can read about my 90 Day one on one coaching program. I have offered group programs in the past and probably will in the future, but currently just one on one coaching and you can book a free call there. And then you can find me on Instagram at @shattered.glass.coaching. I release content daily, so you can find me there.

Lesley Logan
Oh, I love. Also, there’s a necklace. That’s a shattered glass. We’ll talk about it offline. I’ll put it in the show notes, everyone. Don’t worry. But anyways, we have to get to your BE IT action items that’s most important right now. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action steps people can take to be it till they see it, what do you have?

Kate Hutson
Once a month, for the rest of the year, try something new that you’ve never tried before. Can be something physical, like trying a kickboxing class or a Pilates class, if you’ve never tried it. It can be a new creative hobby, like trying out photography, can be going to a social or networking event that you’ve never tried before. But go to at least one new thing every month for the rest of the year. So as we’re, as we’re recording this, there’s six months left. (Lesley: Yeah) So six opportunities to do that. And when you do this, notice how it builds upon your competent mindset. And you might try something new and you might fail. Or you might try something new and you might succeed. And when you do that time after time, it starts to build upon your confidence and translate into every other area of your life.

Lesley Logan
Oh, I’m into this. I’m so into this. I like a good challenge. And I also, Brad and I did The Artists Way, we had to do a new thing every week by yourself. (Kate: Every week. Oh.) Yeah, it’s a little intense. It didn’t have to be nothing new but it had to be something by yourself. It’s not your normal thing. So like if you normally you know go see like walk around your neighborhood, like go to a garden and walk around the garden you know that kind of a thing. And it was for those of you who are taking on this action, it’s okay if it’s really hard in the beginning and it’s okay (Kate: Yeah) if you talk yourself out of. I remember driving to a bookstore I’m going, “Do I really want to go in?” I’m like, “Oh my gosh, it’s a bookstore like what is gonna happen to me this bookstore.” You know so so but I remember going it’d be so much easier if I could just go to the thing that I always do. But it you’re right it’s so bold and to try something else and then also you get used to failing or used to succeeding or used to doing new things and being uncomfortable. I love this so much. Kate, you’re amazing. Thank you for being here. Everyone, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Kate and I want to know make sure you tag us both on Instagram when you screenshot this episode. Send it to a girlfriend who needs to hear this. Right. Send it to someone who needs to be empowered to say no because that means they’re saying yes to something. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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