Experiences to Achieve
Your Dream Life
Ep. 105 ft. Michael Unbroken
“You have to be obsessed with the life that you want to create.”
From homeless to hero, Michael Unbroken, is the Founder of Think Unbroken, best-selling author, award-winning speaker, podcast host, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
At 4 years old Michael’s emotionally incestuous mother cut off his right index finger, she was a drug addict and alcoholic.
At 6 his hyper-abusive step-father beat and hospitalized him.
At 7 he was molested by a den mother in the Mormon Church.
From 8-12 he was often homeless and in deep poverty and did what it took to survive from stealing food and only bathing at school.
He got high for the first time at 12 and drunk at 13. By 15 he was expelled from school for selling drugs.
At 18 he found himself deep in The Vortex and began chasing money to solve his problems.
By 25 Michael was 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking himself to sleep, and attempted suicide for the second time.
Then he had his mirror moment and decided to stop being a victim of trauma and to be the HERO of his own Story!
Since 2016, Michael has empowered over 100,000 trauma survivors to get out of The Vortex, learn to love themselves, and become the hero of their own story. Michael has written multiple books including the best seller Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma, spoken in over 80 countries, won investments from Undercover Billionaire Grant Cardone, and is on a mission to end Generational Trauma in his lifetime.
Stop complaining and start changing. From personal experiences and overcoming extreme trauma, join this conversation with Michael Unbroken to learn how to stop living with regrets.
If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.
In this episode you will learn about:
- The impact of past experiences and the theft of identity.
- The process of evolving to the person you want to be
- Building confidence through uncomfortability is self care
- Complaining isn’t changing anything
- Be honest and understand yourself to step through the fire
- Agree only to the things that align
- The fixed vs abundance mindset
- TEAM – Time, Effort, Energy, Money
- How bad do you want your dream life?
Lesley Logan 0:00
Hey, Be It listeners, get ready. This guest, well, brutal honesty is exactly what you’re gonna get. And I am freaking stoked for you. I am so grateful that Michael Unbroken said “yes” to come in on this podcast. And I really need you to hear this, I really, really do. So if you’re listening to this podcast while you’re doing other things, you’re gonna want to save this and re listen and you’re gonna listen again and again and again. And I really, truly hope that you listen to the BE IT action item at the end with a journal in hand. Or go for a walk outside without your airpods in, go outside, but your feet in the ground and like answer the question, really, really answer it, and maybe have to answer it again tomorrow. And again, the next day, and then again, the next day, and if nothing is coming down. If you’re like, “Lesley, I’m stuck.” I’m gonna say, “Do it again, again. Do it again, again. Do it again and again and again.” And the reason is, is we like to tell ourselves a lot of stories. We get in our own way. And yeah, there’s obstacles and yeah, there’s tough shit. But we get in our way more than anything else. And so I’m not gonna keep going because I cannot wait for you to hear the words of Michael Unbroken. So after this message, here he is.
Lesley Logan 1:17
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.
Lesley Logan 2:02
Hey, Be It listeners I have an awesome guest today. I’m actually really excited. We’re going to leave fully inspired and ready to take on each and every day because we have Michael Unbroken here. And I have to say I listened to him on my friend Amber Shaw’s podcast – Wellness Revolution, and I was fired up. And there was also some moments was like, “ooh, I want to talk about this more” because I love the way you think. I can’t wait to dive in. And I also know so many people like, “But wait, what about this? But wait, what about this?” So Michael, welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you’re all about these days?
Michael Unbroken 2:38
Yeah, well, thank you for being here. It’s an honor. And I am me. That’s who I am. And, you know, my my thing is I work with adult survivors of childhood trauma. I’m an author, speaker, coach, podcast host do a little bit here, do a little bit there. But ultimately, my mission is to end generational trauma in my lifetime, through education and information, so that another kid doesn’t have a story like mine.
Lesley Logan 3:05
Well, thank you for the work that you do. And also, I think there’s a few questions people will have, which is just like on how did you get into this work? And what maybe even like, what are the effects? Like what do you see in kids when you see this generational trauma happening?
Michael Unbroken 3:22
Yeah, well, I mean, this is my life, you know what I’m saying? So, I got into this, because I was like, on my own journey, just trying to get my shit together, you know, after about 6000 rock bottoms. And one day, someone was just like, “Hey, man, when you coach me,” and I was like, “Fuck, no.” I have no idea what I’m doing. I barely know what I’m doing with my own life, I can’t help you. And they were persistent. And I was like, “Alright, cool. Well, it’s X amount of money, let’s go for it.” And that was six years ago and thousands of people later. And you know, the thing about this journey, as I mean, you know, you look at the fact that from just a statistical standpoint, and I would argue this number is actually too low. 83% of adults in America have experienced the adverse childhood experience. And I would say it’s probably realistically 95% if not more, if you consider non reports and homes like mine, where if you talk about it, you’re gonna get fucked up worse than if you didn’t. And, you know, it’s one of those things where I believe that unfortunately, because we live in a society of unhealed people, and you’ve heard the adage, hurt people, hurt people, you get a continuation of that. And so you see it everywhere all the time. You know, people always talk about trauma is this thing about this mental health aspect and they’re right, except they’re missing a piece of the puzzle. Like for me growing up, like my mother cut my finger off when I was four years old, she was drug addict and alcoholic. I was homeless as a kid. I lived by myself for months at a time. I stole food to survive, didn’t graduate high school, my three childhood best friends got murdered, like I can go on and on and on. But that’s still not even the thing. (Lesley: Yeah) The thing is the theft of our identity was stolen from us. And so you see all these people trying to live life, but they’ve never had been allotted of the space to be them before. You know, because growing up, you think about this, like, what’s the brain’s purpose, survival? (Lesley: Yeah) You doesn’t give a shit about your shirt, doesn’t care about your goals? Nothing. It’s like, “What do I need to take from the stimulus of this environment to differentiate safety versus danger so that I can keep my ass long alive long enough to procreate?” That’s it. And so when you recognize that as an autonomic response, your brain says, “Wait, all right, when I’m a child, and I try to be me, it’s unsafe. So because I need to survive, I’m going to stop being me.” That becomes the real thief of (Lesley: Yeah) identity. And that leads you to this place where you’re an adult, you have no idea who you are.
Lesley Logan 5:56
Yeah, and I think like, thank you for sharing that. And also, so many people can be listening to this and going, “I don’t know who I am.” And they might even be caught up that they didn’t have a childhood, as tramatic as yours. But I think you’re correct. So many unhealed people parenting, there’s a difference like it… it’s okay, if you don’t know who you are, and your childhood wasn’t as tramatic. It’s still you still don’t know who you are. And you still have to figure that out. You know, and I think a lot of people might even hear this and even think, like, “Oh, I didn’t have it that bad. So I just, it’s gonna be fine. I’ll just, I’ll just keep doing it the way I’m doing it.” But you’re on this mission to make sure that everybody is living the best life that they have that everyone is being themselves, right?
Michael Unbroken 6:38
Well, and look, I’ll say this, like people will say that all the time. And it’s funny if like, when people come into coaching with me, I’ll be like, “So what’s your point? Like, this isn’t a competition. I don’t live for you. I don’t breathe for you. I don’t love for you. I don’t get up and go to work for you and build your life and raise your kids and have intimacy for you. I don’t do that for you. So what does that have, what does my story have to do with you? Nothing.” (Lesley: Yeah) You know and so the thing here is like, people have to realize like, that comparison game that we play as a cop out. Somebody had it worse than you, somebody had it worse than me, somebody’s eating filet mignon on a yacht right now. What does that have to do with me? Nothing. And so the thing about this journey is, you’ve got to be willing to come to this place in your life, where you just simply first and foremost, just acknowledge, like, something’s wrong. Like, I’m not living life into the potential that I have, then you recognize something very important that people miss out on and that’s causation and correlation. See, we’re the sum total of all of our experiences leading up to this moment. That means every single thing that’s ever happened to us matters, it impacts as it does, whether you like it or not, you know, think about this, you’re in third grade, your miss, miss class, and you’re like, sitting there, coloring a house, and you make the sun, purple. She comes up to you and put her put their hand on your shoulder, she goes, “You know, Lesley, the moons and the sun are not purple.” And you’re like chastised in front of the class, you’re embarrassed, they all hear it, they laugh, your brain goes, “Oh, wait, that was super dangerous. I don’t ever want to be me again.” Right? And so that’s this game is like recognizing that there is a reason behind all the actions that we have, and all the behaviors of our life, and having the willingness to recognize the truth, that the only way that changes is you have to foundationally and fundamentally challenge the belief and narrative that you have of who it is that you think you are, because you actually don’t know. And in that process, being willing to step through, honestly, the hell in the struggle of self discovery, because that’s the only way it changes.
Lesley Logan 8:46
Yeah, cuz it is the hell of the self discovery it is, it isn’t the easiest thing you could do. Otherwise, everybody would have done it already. It’s almost easier to not be yourself to go through and play the comparison game, even though it’s painful. It’s easier because you don’t have to go through the depths and figure out like, when were the spots? Who are the people? Relive those experiences. So, you know, for yourself and for you, do you coach people with this? Like, what is what is that first step? Is it just recognizing that you’re, you’re not who you want to be?
Michael Unbroken 9:19
Yeah, 100% and acknowledging it and being okay with it and giving yourself some grace and compassion, and people will hear my voice and they’re like, “Oh, this guy’s super intense.” Yes, that is correct. But I’m also very kind. I’m very compassionate. I’m very patient. The truth is like, you have to kick your own ass at points and times in this journey. And I think we’re, we’re so unbelievably afraid of doing that, because everyone only tells self care. And I’m like, “Don’t you realize that the greatest form of self care is in the moment of struggle by doing the thing that you know, you need to do to make your life better?” Journaling ain’t gonna fix your problem. You know, yes. Do I do I subscribe that? Do I do it for myself? Of course I do. And meditation and yoga and working out and name it, I do it, I swear to you this is true. But in the true moments of growth, you must be willing to nakedly look at your life and go, “I’m not doing as well as I could, because of the choices and decisions I’m making,” while simultaneously reconciling the fact that you’ve been set up for failure, and that the only way that you’re going to overcome this is to build confidence. And the only way to actually build confidence is to consistently do incredibly, uncomfortable things.
Lesley Logan 10:34
Yeah, that is, so that’s the number one question I get all the time, “How do you create confidence?” And I believe it is consistency. And I want to go back, because you mentioned going to the gym, and you mentioned like the hard things and self care, we do think of it as like, “Oh, massages, journaling,” you know, maybe some other things in there. But even the way you built like when we build muscle, where we’re stressing the muscle or breaking it down to build it stronger. And so that, to me, is really important because going back to what do you say like, you have to like go through the hell the depths of it, figuring out who you are. All that pressure, there’s good pressure, too, there’s good stress, too. And I think we tend to go, “Oh, if I need to take care of myself, I have to avoid all of that.” But there’s a balance in there that we have to maintain.
Michael Unbroken 11:20
I am such a proponent of forcing yourself into discomfort. I mean, and I practice what I preach, you know, it’s from getting up early to training for marathons, and doing CrossFit to sitting in silence, like that is so fucking uncomfortable. Just sit there and discover the truth about who you are. And in that, you will build that muscle, you will create a sustainable ecosystem to survive in. But you’ve got to be willing to push yourself there. And, you know, I wish there was an easy solution for this that didn’t involve like this moment of, like, honestly, like figuring out who you are through the pain. But but it’s true because when my life, I’ll paint you a picture, when my life was me, not addressing the reality of my potential. I was 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking myself to sleep, cheating on my girlfriend, making six figures and 50 grand in debt. (Lesley: Hmm) Life was easy. And we think about that, it’s like, “Alright, cool. What do you want? Who do you want to be create yourself?” And in that it’s about you have to be willing to look at the bullshit that you sell yourself as truth. (Lesley: Yeah) And that’s hard. Like, it’s hard because we want to avoid it because it’s, it’s uncomfortable. It should be because look, and I’m gonna say this, and people need to hear what I’m about to say. You’re not good enough to be the person that you’re capable of being yet. And the only way that you’re going to get there is by making a decision of who it is that you want to be, and diving in, like, figure out who you are, and commit to it. Because on a long enough timeline, you will become that person. 11 years later, from the moment I went and looked in the mirror and asked myself, “What are you willing to do, I’m here speaking to you? (Lesley: Yeah) And I’m still not even remotely close to the person that I want it to be because I haven’t learned the right skills, met the right people, went to the right courses, read the right books. And it is a progression, just like building that muscle because I know who I want to be in 37 years, and I’m not good enough to be that person yet.
Lesley Logan 13:45
Right? Because it’s a I think we easily think, “Okay, what do I have to do to get there and then I’m there. And then I’m there.” But there isn’t a there there. It sounds like it’s right. It’s like, this is what you want to be and you’re working towards it, in 11 years, and like, look where you are. And yet there’s still more to get you there. And it’s not a perfectionist thing. It’s a constant discovery and a challenge thing and a perfectionist thing is like, “Okay, now that I’ve got the outfit and now that I’ve got the job and now that I’m doing the journaling, and now I’m going to the gym and so now I’m there.” And so I think that’s you know, yet is such a powerful word that we don’t often remember to put on the end of a sentence. The the question I know that listeners are having is, “Okay, so I’m wanting to work on myself. I want to actually get to know who I want to be. And that yet I’ve got this partner, these kids, this job.” Obviously, I mean, like is it that they let it all go? Is it that they try to like see who they become and what stays, stays? Like where what happens when you’re in the middle of a life that isn’t the life you want? Where do you go?
Michael Unbroken 14:52
When are you never in the middle of life? You’re always in life, this is it, this is the game. Right? So here’s what I think about two things come to mind. There’s so much context. And even with your question, it’s still quite vague. And there’s so much context in this, right? Because the thing that you have to take into consideration is, everybody has something different going on. But the one thing we all have in common is the ability to make decisions about what we want in our life, (Lesley: Yeah) and to recognize the cold, hard truth, that at any single moment in which you are negotiating with yourself about what you want, you are going to die with regret. And that is the thing that people get trapped in, because they’re like, “Oh, but I have the job. And I have the relationship. And I have the lease.” Do you how many times I’ve heard somebody say, “I want to travel the world.” And I’m like, “Cool. I’ve done it, too. I’ve lived in 12 countries, let’s go.” And they’re like, “Oh, but I have a lease.” And? Keep making excuses and keep watching your life not be different. You know, you want to change, I want to change, do you want to change? (Lesley: Yeah, yeah, yeah) I want to change. I don’t want to be this me tomorrow. That’s not the point of this. I want to evolve, evolve and evaluate where I’m at, and do what it takes to go to where I want to be. Jay Z has one of my favorite quotes of all time, says, “People around you saying that you changed. Why didn’t do all this work to stay the same.” You’ve got to recognize as you’re in this journey. You shouldn’t be changing. You shouldn’t be different than where you are. And the truth is, some people are going to come with you and some aren’t. There are seasons here, right? (Lesley: Yeah) So people are here for a season. Some are… Now I definitely don’t want you to abandon your kids, right? No, I think that’s chaotic. And then they end up getting coached by me, it’s not the greatest deal. (Lesley laughs) But but what I will say is like, “Is your partner bringing value to your life? Is that career that you spent 20 years on fulfilling you were making you want to contemplate shooting yourself?” Like this real talk shit, right? And you’ve got to get really, really clear about what you want. And be brutally honest with yourself. The one thing that I know to be true about anyone that I’ve ever coached that has seen success come through these programs is massive honesty.
Lesley Logan 17:07
Yeah. (Michael: massive) And honesty, I think and that’s where a lot of people get stuck is that massive honesty. Because there’s a story they’ve told themselves so much that it feels true. Yeah. So something that I know you, you do is they know a lot. Like you love boundaries, you say no, you don’t do things you don’t want to do. Was that easy for you to do? Or like, did you also struggle with that too, because I, I am a big fan of boundaries. I love them. It’s not really hard for me. However, something I hear a lot from our listeners, it’s really hard for them to say no, it’s hard for them to back out of plans they’ve made it. They don’t want to let people down. What do you got for them?
Michael Unbroken 17:49
Yeah, well, I mean, look, keep complaining, not changing things. And nothing’s going to be different. Like, I know, that’s hard. And so you’re in this position in your life where like, I’ll give you a perfect example. Like if you invited me, let’s say you called me like, “Hey, man, you want to go to see Travis Tritt? I’d be like, “He’s country, right?” You’d like, “Yeah, he’s great.” I’m like, “Hell no.” Why? Because think about this growing up. Well, let’s create some real context because I want to give people something a foundational understanding. We learn to bend who we are for safety. Right? Going back to what we were talking about earlier, this there’s causation here. One of the things that I discovered very young, and I knew I was actually cognizant of this as a kid, is that I would do whatever it took to fit in. I’d listen to the music you like, go to the classes, you wanted to go to, dress like you. I used to have kids call me out like, “You’re a copycat.” I’m like, “I know, because I don’t know how to be me. So I’m a chameleon.” And what happens is, you recognize that, eventually, that doesn’t serve you. And you’re in this position where you have no idea who you are. And so now you have to challenge that. And I believe that the greatest form of challenging the understanding of who you are, is by learning to say “yes and no,” based on your wants, needs, interests, values, moral character, and boundaries. And so when I think about this, you know, at 26 years old, I had this really pivotal change and shift in my life. And in that the next three years, were the most incredibly difficult years of my life way more than anything else, because these were the beginning of this year as of self discovery. And so it was me doing a whole bunch of different things to figure out, “Is this who I am?” Then in that the thing that I want folks who are listening to take away is the only way you’re going to discover who you are is by discovering who you are. And so that means when your gut is like, “Yo, I don’t want to do that say “no’.” And when you’re like, “Yes, I absolutely want to showing up and going through with it,” even if it’s scary and uncomfortable, you know, there’s something to be sad about that moment in which you chase your dreams as an adult. Like (Lesley: Yeah) our imagination is stripped so way not only through abuse, if that’s the case for you, but hell just living in a society that says, “Don’t chase your dreams, but watch everyone else has theirs.” And you see the change makers in the world, they’re the ones who are willing to step through the fire anyway. (Lesley: Yeah) Like, like, I think about that moment in which you’re at the precipice of walking through the doorway, right? Think about this, you know, this person, you’ve probably had this experience yourself, where you like, you pack the thing that you needed, you got in the car, you drove there, you’re outside of the building, you’re gonna go and do that thing, whatever that thing is, it doesn’t matter. And then that moment, you make a decision, that’s where life happens. And so for me, I only and when people understand this, it will change your life. And this is not hubris. I’m not being crass. I literally mean this, I only do what I want to do. And I never do what I don’t want to do. Now that’s framed through my values, my moral character, my wants, needs, interest and boundaries. So if you hit me up, and you’re like, “Hey, I heard you in Amber Shaw, you’re great. And I go and check your shit out. And we are not in alignment. I’m not coming on the show.” (Lesley: Yeah) Even though you want me to.
Lesley Logan 21:28
Yeah, thank you for being here. (Lesley and Michael laughs)
Michael Unbroken 21:32
Well, obviously, we’re in alignment.
Lesley Logan 21:34
We are. Well, we are. And like I, I, you know, for the cynic …
Michael Unbroken 21:40
Good. (Lesley: bills …) I like them.
Lesley Logan 21:43
Bills, how do you like, who wants to pay those? Are you pay them because they’re part of the value system that you have? Like, do you know what I mean, these people who are, there’s people out there who are going to be they’re gonna challenge you on this? And they’re like, “Yeah, but what about, you know, taking out the trash? What about these things?” Like, I’m, like, I have a hire housekeeper because I hate doing the dishes, and I’m not going to do them. That’s just not how I it’s not lighting my fire. It’s not making me happy person. It’s not making me want to coach anybody (Michael: Perfect) you know, so but what it like, you know, in case people are like, “Yeah, Lesley, it must be nice for you.” What do you, what do you think?
Michael Unbroken 22:13
Work harder. (Lesley: Yeah) (Michael laughs) I mean, I’m not being crass in that, like, you know, no, but seriously, there was… there’s the the mundane of life, you don’t get out of that. Nobody gets out of that. My mentor is a freaking billionaire. And sometimes that dude has to wash his own dishes. (Lesley laughs) I’ve seen him do it. You know what I’m saying? Like, like, let’s not be stupid about it for real, like, you’re gonna have to do shit you don’t want to do. I don’t want …
Lesley Logan 22:38
But you’re saying you don’t say ‘yes’ to things you don’t want to do. So like, you’re not saying ‘yes’, because “Oh, I should do that. You’re not saying, you’re not doing anything out of like …”
Michael Unbroken 22:46
Let me, let me frame it this way very simply. And I think you’ll understand and comprehend exactly what I mean by what I just said. If at any point, I feel like I have to bend or placate myself and chameleon, who I am and the only reason why is so that I feel connected to you. I refuse to do it.
Lesley Logan 23:07
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.
Michael Unbroken 23:12
But I gotta do the damn dishes. (Michael and Lesley laughs)
Lesley Logan 23:13
Yeah. Well, thank you. But thank you for being honest. And also thank you, thank you for the challenges because I do I love what you said earlier. And it makes sense here it’s like the negotiations and and bending around is just keeping the complaints is just is making you stay where you are and not live the life you want to live. And you’re saying you don’t want to live your life with regret, but I also feel like you don’t want anyone, too. You’re like, “Let’s all, we all do this.”
Michael Unbroken 23:41
Yeah, but look, I mean, like, honestly, in you know, this, you coach people, right? 7% of people ain’t gonna do shit with any of this. (Lesley: Yeah) I can’t help you. I can’t. I’ve never saved anyone’s life. I get, I get emails literally every day. Somebody’s like, “You changed my life.” I’m like, “No, I didn’t. You did. (Lesley: Yeah) I just handed you a roadmap. You drove the car.” And so you know if you want to be a cynic, and you want to complain and you want to, you want to blame the world for your problem. Look, and I will say this, “I get it. I get it. You deserve to blame the world. Play the victim, own it.” I was the victim for a long time. I blamed everybody it was everybody’s fault. It was your fault. My mom’s fault, my my community’s fault, teacher’s fault, Obama’s fault. It was everybody’s fault but Michael’s fault. Everybody’s fault. And on the day that I hit rock bottom, I’m laying in bed after putting a gun in my mouth the night before because I was playing the victim. And I’m laying in bed. So 11 o’clock in the morning and 350 pounds, eating chocolate cake, smoking a joint and watching the CrossFit games. Nobody put me there but me and it was in the moment that I got my ass up and I went and I looked in the mirror, and I got truthful with myself that things changed. You want to play the victim? Own it. Okay, that’s your choice. (Lesley: Yeah) That’s your decision. I know it’s fucking hard. I know it is. I’m, I’m a guy who is an orphan, who grew up with the most abusive parents you could ever possibly imagine. Who stole foods to survive. Who did not graduate high school, who has no formal education, who has written number one best selling books. I have one of the top podcasts in the world. I’ve coached hundreds of thousands of people. And I feel very good about who I am today. (Lesley: Yeah) You make a decision. Nobody feels sorry for you. I’m sorry. I’m not being an asshole. I swear to God, I’m not. Nobody cares. They’re not thinking about you. And there’s no Disney moment. Nobody is coming to rescue you. So if you want what’s next in your life, as much as it pains me to say it, you gotta go earn every fucking inch.
Lesley Logan 26:06
Yeah, that’s the I mean, that’s the truth. And that’s an it’s it is. What do they say that the truth is hard to swallow? (Michael: Yeah) (Lesley laughs) (Micahel: It is) It’s because we know it’s true. We know we need it. And, and you are correct. There, I’ve been in many a situation where I was like, “No one is coming. This is all me. I gotta figure this out. I gotta, I gotta get off this …” And I think I think that I think the that more people need to be honest, like you are. And it’s, you know, because even if, even if you’re listening to this, and you’re like, “Michael’s not the coach, for me.” That’s fine. But if he’s got you at least thinking, “Okay, what am I going to do next? Who am I?” And looking at yourself in the mirror, like, that is a domino effect that I’m so grateful you can have, because every single person I know is on this planet for a purpose. They really do have something to give the people around them deserve to see who they are, and have the real person in their life. And we can’t, it it for every day that they’re not doing that they’re actually affecting all the people around them from having an experience, that could be the best experience I could have with them.
Michael Unbroken 27:12
Totally. And I want to say something important that most people are not going to pick up on. You said, some people are probably saying, “Well, Michael is not the coach of me.” If you’re coming into this conversation with that mindset, you already lost. That kind of fixed mindset. But I’ll tell you the most dangerous words I’ve ever used in my life. That’s just how I am, the ultimate fixed mindset. If you’re already pre determining the outcome of what is in front of you, because you’ve made that decision, before you will absorb what is there for you, you have lost. And that’s one of the more difficult parts of this life is that you have to actually let your guard down for a moment and receive the information from the person on the other side. No, I’m not your coach. But that doesn’t mean there’s not something here that might change your life.
Lesley Logan 28:01
Yeah. Yeah, I think I found myself there’s been a couple times my podcasts have come up, and I’ve seen other guests, and I’m like, “Ah, I’m almost that person.” And I’m like, “You know what, I’m gonna go listen, that person, something about it bothers me. And I’m gonna learn something about myself right now.” And I have found that to be one of the most amazing challenging decisions you can make is to put yourself in a room you think isn’t for you, or a person is not for you. And it’s still, it’s still not might be the person that you’re, you’re going to hire or you’re going to go follow or you’re going to listen to again. But every time I’ve learned something about me, and me, and it’s made me a better person, more understanding person, a person who challenges herself more like it’s pretty awesome. So I agree with that. And I think, um, I wish, I wish somehow we could teach kids when they’re in kindergarten, what fixed mindset versus what an abundance mindset? You know, I feel like that is like, way more important if you don’t you, sometimes you don’t even catch yourself doing that fixed mindset stuff, even when I was where I wanted this house that we’re in. And I literally said to my therapist, “I’m really nervous. Like, what if we don’t get in.” And she’s like, “Well, that’s not the abundance mindset you have.” And I was like, “Oh, my God. How did I just do that?” So it’s this one, we it’s a, it’s a mindset that we almost need other people to call us out on sometimes if we can’t call ourselves out.
Michael Unbroken 28:04
Yeah. 100%. And you’ve got to be paying attention too. You know, I’ll give you a great example, I was with my mentor the other day, and we were talking about money. And I was telling him how much money I was spending on something. He goes, “Man, that ain’t your problem. You don’t, you don’t have a five figure problem. You got a million dollar problem, and you need to go figure out how to get it.” Because I was like, I’ve limited myself financially for so long. Like, even though I’ve done very well, I made my first 100,000 at 20 years old, like I know how to make money, but he was like, “Look, dude, the reality is like, you need to understand the abundance of money being your friend.” And I was like, “Damn, son, that was good” because I booked a hotel. It started because I, the whole conversation started because I was like, “Hey, I booked this hotel.” And I go, “Yeah, it was pretty cheap.” And he goes, “That’s your first problem.” And I was like, “Yep.” And I cancelled the hotel immediately. And I got a nice hotel, right? Because it’s like, even changing that mindset of that is like, you have a difference between $7 isn’t gonna make or break you (Lesley laughs) that you come from this, like, poverty mindset, and you need someone there for you. (Lesley: Yeah) That’s why we have coaches, we have mentors, because I need somebody to like kill that was a dumb fucking decision that you’re doing based off of the experiences of your past. Thus, the same thing I talk about is the same thing I go and learn from people, causation and correlation. Why am I cheap? Because growing up, I was poor, and we were homeless, and I had to steal food to survive. And so I’m freaked out about money. And then I’m like, “Wait a second. Last year, I spent six figures on my own personal development.” And now I’m thinking like, “How do I spend seven?”
Lesley Logan 30:56
Yeah, I so understand the money mindset. Because my husband and I grew up poor in different ways. His parents actually are accountants. So they’re very good with money, and very frugal with it. And they have lots of things because they did work. I was I grew up elder millennial. You screen the phone calls, because it was the bill collectors and you would wait and see if it was your friend or if his grandma, “Oh, nope, it’s discover.” And so I, to this day, still have a problem answering the phone because I’m like, it must, “I owe no one money.” And I’m like, “It could be a bill collector though.” Like I it’s just it’s a thing and it’s awareness I have but (Michael: Totally) something that I started in 2013 when I was homeless again. And some of my friends were like, “You were homeless?” I’m like, “If you didn’t know like, where are you? I was couchsurfing. I probably slept on your couch.” Um, but but I learned like, never again, am I gonna get the cheap apartment, I’m gonna get the apartment I want. Never again, am I going to get the cheap car and make the car I want. What if that means I have to ride the bus until I get that car. That’s what we’re doing. (Michael: Totally) And today, I still don’t have a car because I want a different car. I want a G Wagon. And until I can have that G Wagon, I’m going to ride my bicycle or borrow my dad’s car because I want a G Wagon in my driveway. And that’s what I’m saving up for. And I’m going to have it and it’s going to be there. And it’s not because material things make me feel good. It’s because I know that I when I show up in a space that it feels like it’s my surroundings, I show up as fully me, you know, so …
Michael Unbroken 32:30
Yeah. Let’s talk about that for a second because (Lesley: Yeah) I think it’s really important, right? Because like growing up, I was the same my mom would freak out if you answered the phone at my house, because of bill collectors, she would be like, “Don’t you ever answer the phone.” And now I look at my life and I think to myself, like those things that happen to us, like they matter. Like and yes, we can laugh about it. Like I’m gonna write a dark comedy about my childhood one day. (Lesley laughs) But you know, you can laugh at it. But the truth about it is those things impact you, and I’m in full agreement with you. Do not settle. Do not settle the life that you want to have. Now, look, if you you aren’t making fucking $20,000 a year, you’re not going to G Wagon. Like go figure your shit out, (Lesley laughs) right? But but also put yourself in a position to be able to do that education, information, be in the right rooms, have a mentor, get a coach and commit, like commit, put the money on the line. Like that’s the thing like I think about this all the time. If you want your life to change, you’ve got to adapt this acronym I created called TEAM – Time, Effort, Energy, Money, You’re gonna have to invest one, but you’re probably going to have to invest all for, like, pick the direction of the thing that you want in your life and commit to it. And do not negotiate with yourself until you get it. Like I remember this a couple years ago, I was like, “I want Grant Cardone to invest in one of my businesses.” Grant Cardone invested in one of my businesses. Like, “I want, I want Tom Bilyeu to be my mentor.” Tom Bilyeu is my mentor. “I want to write a best selling book.” I’ve written a best selling book. “I want to have a top podcast.” I have a top podcast. “I want to have the greatest minds on planet earth come and speak with me.” They do it. Why? Because as I went through the hell of building the life that I want to have, that’s what this looks like, and that committing to those dreams, you get, we get so scared, right? Because we go, “Oh man, if I get the house, and it’s $800 a month, well then I’ll stop eating Starbucks.” But that that doesn’t solve your problem. The thing that solves your problem is putting yourself in a position to be more successful than you’ve ever been by committing harder than you ever have. And eliminating all things that are not moving you towards your goals. That means (Lesley: Yeah) no fucking Netflix. That means no brunch with the girls on Sunday. That means getting your ass up at 4:30 in the morning because you got kids who get up at six and working on building your life until the moment that you go to bed every single night. You don’t want it bad enough. Like that’s the problem, people are hearing this and they’re like, “I want this life.” Show me your calendar. Show me your calendar. And I’ll tell you if you want this life or not.
Lesley Logan 35:15
Yeah, that’s you or that’s that’s it. It’s you don’t want it bad enough. I think I had on a woman who Hazel Ortega shucks at miracle goals. And what was really cool about that was like challenge that she made. She’s like, “Don’t just create goals. I want miracle goals. I want goals that are so God sized.” So you could your brain couldn’t logically figure out how to get them. So you can’t talk yourself out of them. Because it’s a miracle, then then you can believe in miracles, and then things will happen for you. But so many people make their goals, something that’s attainable. And then, because it’s like, hmm it makes their life this much better. They don’t actually change their life to have it because it’s not big enough. You have to, I really do believe that you have to make them big enough that you want it so badly that you show up at 4:30 in the morning. I did. I remember when I had my full time job that paid the bills with the health insurance and all the things and I had the side hustle and I had a private clients. And I slept three hours a night. And I know a lot of people thought I was crazy. A lot of people thought something’s wrong with her. And now I get to sleep more. But it’s still work every day, you still have to show up every day, you still have to change not just yourself, but how you think about things, how you how your day has made you change your location, you know, like there’s things people have to do. And those are hard decisions to make. But if you want it bad enough, you will.
Michael Unbroken 36:28
Yeah. And look, and I’ll say this too, like I’m not about that hustle culture life. I’m not about it. I’m about doing what I want. That’s it. And if I don’t want to, like I tell people all the time, you know, I’ve built this business. I’ve done so much to help people. If I wake up tomorrow, I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s all gone. I promise you it is. It’s gone. Why? Because life is about doing what you want. Have fun, enjoy. I love doing this. I love it. I love being on stages. I love writing books. I just finished writing my third book just today, like do what you want, do what makes you happy. But I promise you, I have to get up at 6am to write the damn thing because I’m busy the rest of the day. And like that’s the thing about this, like, you know, there, I think there’s something that like recognizing the truth that you have to be obsessed with the life that you want to create. And if the people around, you’re like, “Oh, you’re a workaholic,” I promise you, you’re around the wrong people. Because they don’t get it. They don’t get it. They’re not ready for the truth. They don’t want the reality of the truth that you are gonna go and be fucking great. And you deserve it. But it ain’t gonna fall into your lap. And the secret ain’t real. You got to put in work.
Lesley Logan 37:35
Yeah. And I like when you say that you’re not about the hustle. It’s very different. You’re not doing this for the hustle sake of it or for the busyness of it or for the things it’s, it’s these are the things you want to do. And this is how you have to structure the day to get those things that you want to do done.
Michael Unbroken 37:51
Yeah. And I’ll tell you this, do I want to be wealthy? Yep. 100%. One of my biggest goals is to make this company a $25 million a year company. I’m nowhere close, yet. Do I want to own a hel… helicopter? Uh huh. Yep, sure do, can’t afford one, yet. Will… Right? Do I want to speak on the biggest stages in the world? Fuck yeah. Like one of my biggest goals is speak in front of 50,000 people, the biggest stage I’ve ever spoken is 10,000. I’m only a fifth of the way there. I ain’t there yet because (Lesley: Yeah) I’m not good enough yet. I haven’t learned the skills yet to put me in that position. And all the people around me over the years who have called me a workaholic, who have said I’m crazy, who say I work too hard. Those people aren’t even my friends anymore. And you know why? It’s not because I don’t love them or cherish them because many of them I do. But I can’t be aligned with people who want to bring down my dreams, because I’m not going to sacrifice my mission for anybody. And on a long enough timeline, like the truth about it is like you’ll you’ll look at your life. And you’ll go on you’ll see those people. I looked up a friend the other day on Facebook. I haven’t seen him in like 10 years. We were best friends growing up. Do you know what he was doing? The same shit we were doing 20 years ago. And I want to be clear about something. If you’re happy, if you’re content, if you love your life, if you’re not complaining, you already won. Don’t change anything. If your content make them 30 grand a year, fucking awesome. That is great. But if you lay in bed at night, and you’re like, “I want to go and build this thing.” And you weren’t willing to do it. I can promise you, on your deathbed. Right before that last gasp that like right before it’s over. The word ‘regret’ is going to come into your head. And this will have been a life unlived.
Lesley Logan 39:46
Oh, Michael, you are amazing. I could talk to you or listen to you for hours. Thank goodness you have a podcast. Okay, Michael, where do you hang out? What’s your favorite social? Where’s your podcast at? So all the places where can they find you?
Michael Unbroken 40:02
I don’t have a favorite social but I’m everywhere at Michael Unbroken. Literally everywhere and the podcast is Think Unbroken Podcast or thinkunbrokenpodcast.com or just search ‘Think Unbroken’, it’s not that hard to find. Literally, everything I teach is there for free. The books are on there for free. The programs are on there for free. Everything is for free all the time, 24/7 because my mission is to end generational trauma in my lifetime.
Lesley Logan 40:27
Yeah, well, we’ll put all the links in the show notes below. Okay, I asked everyone this, you’ve given us plenty of action items, but just in case someone needs it wrapped up in a bow, bold, executable, intrinsic or target steps people can take to be it till they see it. And for you, I know it’s that you just do it every day. But like what we got.
Michael Unbroken 40:47
Well first, and I just want to say thanks for having me because you are allowing me to share this space with you. You’re a part of my mission. And that means the world to me. Look. The truth about it is this, the life that you want to have it’s it’s fucking right here. It’s right here. It’s like literally, you can reach out and touch it. But nobody’s gonna hand it to you. And if you ask yourself this question, and the answer is anything less than no excuses, just results, you will never, ever have the life that you want to have. So you need to ask yourself, “What am I willing to do to have the life that I want to have?”
Lesley Logan 41:32
That’s a great question. That’s great. Ouf. Well, I love it. I love it. I love that question. I almost, almost want to have it where I can see it every day. Because I think it’s a good one to ask yourself each day. Michael, thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your mission and sharing your journey and sharing your truth. It’s beyond and I’m really grateful, really, really grateful. So you all how are you going to use this in your life? What are you going to do? We want to know. So screenshot this, tag @michaelunbroken, tag the @be_it_pod and actually let us know because I know that, I know for myself when I see those things. It just shows how much action you’re taking. And for those of us who are trying to change the world, it lets us know that’s working, or doing is helping and so let us know. Share this episode with anyone that you know who needs it, who needs what Michael is saying, who needs his resources, and until next time, Be It Till You See it.
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.
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