How to Be Happy
Ep. 4 with Lesley & Brad
“The practice of showing up for myself is actually the most helpful way to know what I want to do (in life!)”
In today’s episode, co-host Brad Crowell joins Lesley Logan to talk about our last episode interview with happiness coach, Robert Mack. Rob’s wisdom and life-perspective are contagious, encouraging, supportive, and tangible. Join us as we deconstruct the action items that Rob recommended in the last episode, and find out a little bit more about Brad & LL…
If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected].
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In this episode you will learn about:
- How “being in the now” can change your happiness completely
- When did LL and Brad start working together?
- Brad had a website building business
- Lesley already knew she was going to marry Brad
- We project managed our wedding
- We forgot ONE THING at our wedding….
- You don’t need to know the whole staircase to take the first step
- How you define yourself, giving yourself a title
- The power of journaling
- Suicide Prevention Lifeline suicidepreventionlifeline.org
- Rob Mack’s website: http://www.coachrobmack.com/
- Rob Mack’s book, Happiness From the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment https://amzn.to/33K3UED
- The Artist’s Way Morning Pages Journal: A Companion Volume to the Artist’s Way https://amzn.to/3hvjfB4
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and business fitness coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to out yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.
Lesley Logan 02:10
Okay, here we go.
Brad Crowell 02:12
Are you excited?
Lesley Logan 02:15
I am! I am so excited. Okay, this is all part of it.
Brad Crowell 02:18
Lesley Logan 02:19
Leave it in.
Brad Crowell 02:19
We’re leaving it in.
Lesley Logan 02:21
We’re leaving it in. Hello, listeners. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the profound conversation I have with Robb Mack in our last episode. If you haven’t yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back to listen to that one and then come back and join us. But what you can’t see, everyone, is Brad telling me to slow down.
Brad Crowell 02:43
I’m actually, we are currently already at double time. You don’t need to speed this up.
Lesley Logan 02:49
Well, you actually. So yeah, that’s true. This is a podcast you can bring down to one-point-o. Anyways, thank you, Brad. I’m a fast talker, everyone. And that is one thing you’ll learn about me. So first, Brad, we had an audience question to respond to, didn’t we?
Brad Crowell 03:07
More space. More space. Yes. Yes. Yes. Lesley, we did have an audience question.
Lesley Logan 03:19
Okay, well, what’s the question? Oh, me.
Brad Crowell 03:23
Lesley Logan 03:24
All right, everyone, this is real. Just so you know, we leave it all and welcome to working with us, actually, which leads me into this question, which is, right, when did we start working together? We got this question and a DM on the be_it_pod Instagram. And people wanted to know if (the person writing wanted to know) if it was before or after dating.
Brad Crowell 03:45
Before or after what?
Lesley Logan 03:47
Did we start working together before or after we started dating?
Brad Crowell 03:51
Did we start working together before or after we started dating…
Lesley Logan 03:57
Such a complicated question only because the window of us actually dating and not dating was quite long and maybe not a clear line. Then I broke my leg. And then that was after we were officially together. We still weren’t working together though.
Brad Crowell 04:14
Yeah, but I built a website for you right out of the gate.
Lesley Logan 04:17
Right, but right out of the gate we got together because I broke my leg and then you made the website, so we were dating. We were officially dating. You did not build a website for me before you committed.
Brad Crowell 04:27
I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t have happened.
Lesley Logan 04:30
Would never have happened. So even then you go to, so you build a website for me but that was not working with me. That was like showing off.
Brad Crowell 04:39
Um, it was kind of. It was kind of a little bit showing off. I think that’s fair to say. Also, (Lesley: Thank you for watching) also, too, I knew it was something that I could do to win you over even more. So yeah, showing off. But it was something that I was already doing. I was building websites. (Lesley: Yeah) So it was a very, like normal thing for me to build another website.
Lesley Logan 05:17
Yeah. We have dogs, you all may hear a bark in the background, there’s three of them. If you’ve got a dog, we’d love to know what your dog is like. I agree. I think you know, you already had a business in building websites because you were building websites for your band. So it wasn’t like you learned how to build a website. It was something you already did. (Brad: Yeah) And I already knew I was going to marry you. So you building me a website was just a perk. You didn’t know that. But I did. I think it was pretty organic you doing other websites stuff for me, building many websites before we got married, I think. But you and I didn’t actually officially work together.. I think maybe the retreats were when we finally were doing more projects together. It’s really hard. It was everything. This is the cool thing, y’all, we’ll get into it as we talk about Rob’s points, but like everything kind of led after the website then that led to something that led to my try at a membership.
Brad Crowell 06:21
I think the first time we worked together was our wedding.
Lesley Logan 06:24
Oh, you’re right, we project managed the heck out of that wedding. Well Brad did, I just checked things off.
Brad Crowell 06:33
But that was the first time that we, we like, you know, tried to tackle a project as a team.
Hey, yeah, buddy. August. That’s definitely not gonna work.
So, but I think we had a goal. And we essentially broke down the tasks. And we use the project management tool. And we, we fucking nailed it. (Lesley Logan: Oh yeah) It was such a cool wedding.
Lesley Logan 07:06
Y’all, we planned a wedding in four months in LA. And six weeks before the wedding, we even lost the venue. And we still like slayed. There’s only one thing that we messed up at our own wedding. And that was because it was not in the project management tool, which was who was going to bring the wedding license to the wedding. But yeah, I think that was the first actual thing we worked on together.
Brad Crowell 07:31
I think and the thing was, it was actually really easy (Lesley: Yeah), to do that as a team. And so it was very organic when we finally or like tackling work projects as a team, even though, you know, I was kind of treating the stuff, except for the retreats or when you were traveling, like the any of the work stuff until I formally came on full-time, I was treating it like a client, (Lesley: Yeah) We only had a little bit of time, you know? And then eventually I got rid of all those clients. And that was just about when we started working together as a team.
Lesley Logan 08:07
Yeah, no, you’re right. The wedding was definitely where we worked together as a team. And that was the first real step. It also made us realize how good we could do that. So to answer this amazing question of when did we start working together. Was it before or after dating? Was it after dating? It was when we were engaged. I think we got married in 2015.
Brad Crowell 08:29
Yes, we got married in 2015.
Lesley Logan 08:33
That’s fascinating. Anyways, we never kind of remember when we got married, so we’ll get there. Alright, so thank you for that question. You can send in your questions to the be_it_pod on Instagram. So alright, before we get into our next part, we just want to say… you may or you may not know, like maybe you’re sitting there going LL like thank you for the podcast, but I don’t even know how to make time for myself to be it and how to prioritize that. And I really feel like for me, there are times in my life I actually don’t know the answer. Like, I don’t know what I want to do. And the practice of showing up for myself is actually the most helpful way to do that because when you connect more to yourself then you can connect more to your goals to others to anything, right? So I want to offer you all a free class at OnlinePilatesClasses.com slash b e i t so OnlinePilatesClasses.com/beit. Get a free class from me. Take it as many times as you want. Notice how showing up for yourself for 30 minutes, I would love you to multiple times a week, but even once a week allows you to practice prioritizing yourself and your time in your life. All right!
Brad Crowell 09:39
Yeah. Awesome. Why don’t we jump into kind of talking about the last pod’s conversation with Rob Mack that you had. I really enjoyed the interview. If you haven’t had a chance to hear it yet, feel free to pause this now jump back one episode take a listen to the great convo that Rob and Lesley had together. They talked about a whole host of things. But first Rob is an Ivy League educated positive psychology expert. He’s a celebrated happiness coach. He’s also an executive coach and an author. And I found the conversation really, actually, kind of shocking, because he came right out of the gate, talking about suicide. So we’re going to talk just a little bit about suicide here. And we want to also tell you that if you are, have ever considered anything, when it comes to taking your own life, there is help available to you in the United States, and I want to say abroad because they have a 1-800 number, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. And they are saying that we can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you and for your loved ones. and best practices for professionals. They have a 1-800 number that you can call 1-800-273-8255, 1-800-273-8255. They also have chat support right on the site. And you can find that at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. So that said, when Rob was talking about his experience with considering suicide and it was right out of the gate. I was, I didn’t really expect that I had no idea that, you know, as a happiness coach, that, that was something he was, that’s where he was coming from. And well, I mean, you talked to him so…
Lesley Logan 11:57
Yeah, I totally agree with Brad. I mean, it is part of his story. And it is really what made him who he is today. So, I actually appreciate that he so willingly shares that story, because I think it’s a topic that is often, people don’t talk about, you know, and or they avoid talking about or they’re ashamed of it, and he shares it in a way that really makes you realize that it can, it can be anybody and so please use that information should you need it or if a friend does. So our first my I want to go into a takeaway that I had because it’s something that’s really personal to me. In the interview, Rob talks about being okay with just seeing the first step of a staircase and not seeing the whole staircase. So he talks about moving to Miami and only just knowing that, like he’s going to move to Miami and not really what’s gonna happen next. And I love this because it’s such a simple idea. It’s like, Oh, yeah, let’s just be okay with that first step. Just see the first step in a staircase. Take messy action. Y’all, I’m a ‘take messy action’ kind of person. I have been practicing this. Like your mess is your message, everyone. I’ve been practicing messy action and just being okay with the first step. You should know something about me. When we watch The Crown, I will literally Google what happened in real life, just so I can watch the whole Crown, knowing what is going to happen. So for the record, this is not the easiest thing for me that I practice. But I couldn’t agree more with him. I think it’s so important that we don’t get hung up on having to have every step of a staircase planned out to what we’re going to be before we go, like, before we practice being it. And so, I don’t know, I wanted to, I really wanted to bring that home because it is so simple and yet so hard. And people rarely do it. They’re like, Okay, I have to have it all mapped out. And I don’t know if this comes from like an American, like, pretty good High School, did you go to college, then you get this degree, then you did this thing. And like, I did all that stuff. And I never even got a job with the degree that I have. So knowing all the steps of the staircase has yet to help me. And I will say like this podcast, you know, we really had very few of the steps even thought through before we started it. My business, you know, I was blown away, like, okay, we’re gonna do this right now and see what happens.
Brad Crowell 14:14
No, I think also there’s a sense that, you know, you can’t just wing it, right? You’re not, you’re not just like, (Lesley: No) trying to hope it into fruition, you know. There are steps, there are actions, there are, but there is this bigger picture that we are working from. We know where we want to go. Right? We know where the staircase goes to, (Lesley: But we don’t know all the stairs) but we don’t know all the stairs in the staircase, right? (Lesley: Yeah) So I think that as long as you have this bigger picture your vision for what you want for your life, then maybe you can only see two or three stairs ahead at a time and that’s like with goal planning and methodically thinking ahead three, six months, whatever, you know, but you’re still not seeing the grandiose. You’re not seeing the entire staircase and all of the steps.
Lesley Logan 15:11
100%. Thank you. Brad’s always here to summarize my long winded answers. And here’s, I’m working on a course for y’all. I’m really excited about it. This part will be a free course where it’s like, knowing the vision, knowing where the staircase ends up, where the top of the stairs is, and then actually like taking the action of the first step, because that’s where clarity comes through. You got to take the action. So that really resonated with me. And if you find that very difficult, because you really want to know every step in your staircase, I promise you, it’s so freeing to just know the first two, I know where the staircase ends and have fun taking a step and see what happens.
Brad Crowell 15:46
Yeah, I also think that there are very few, even in science, right? There’s very few times in life where you know exactly every step before you’re going to take them. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? You know, you’re exploring, you’re experimenting, you’re trial and error, maybe you take a step up and realize that’s the wrong step. And you take a step back. (Lesley: Yeah.) So you know, I think, I think for the Type A personalities out there, who know that they need to have everything in front of them before they even get started, you’re actually doing yourself a disservice. Because you don’t necessarily know you might get into something and then realize, I hate this.
Lesley Logan 16:38
Oh, yeah. And that’s so cool. Because guess what, like, you can, you can go back down the steps and stuff. Or you can, you can find a new staircase like, or you can, or there’s like, you can wind the staircase to the left, you know, which Rob talks about left turns. And that was really a fun part of the conversation. But anyways, we can talk about staircases for the rest of this episode. But Brad, I really, I really liked your takeaway. So I want to dive into it.
Brad Crowell 17:01
So after listening to the interview, the thing I took away was, I found really interesting is the idea of defining yourself. Right? And giving, you two were talking about giving yourself your own title. At first I was like, Man, that’s kind of silly, you know. Cuz I come from the startup world, right? So when we’re like a startup company of four, and it’s like, well, I’m the CEO, and I’m the CEO, and the CFO, the CTO, and it’s like, we were all four of us are doing all the work. Like, it seems ridiculous to be defining ourselves in that manner. Or, like, I’m sure you’ve gotten a business card from someone and you’re like, right. There, the president of a company of one, like whatever. Right?
Lesley Logan 17:48
I definitely felt that way when I was the CEO of my own company, I was like, this is so lame. I’m the only person in it.
Brad Crowell 17:56
That’s where my head went to immediately. But as you two were talking about it, I thought, you know, maybe defining yourself isn’t necessarily like a job title defining yourself. Instead, it’s a way… it is you. It’s part of your elevator pitch to people, it’s part of how you describe yourself in who you are, and what you are. And I thought, well, this is actually completely tantamount to like success. If you don’t have a definition of yourself, you know, because you are your very first client. Okay, you’re selling yourself first. And, you know, so for example, if you say, Well, I’m just a Pilates teacher. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right? Like, that’s a tragic definition of yourself. “I’m just a Pilates teacher.” Right? Because like you just said, so small, but also you’re setting yourself up – you’ve ceiling-ed yourself.
Lesley Logan 19:03
Yeah. Where on the staircase you can’t climb anywhere. I really love that, Brad. You know, even you know, going back to the CEO, all that stuff. Recently, we changed the titles of ourselves, because we do have a team. That’s more. It’s not just me. (Brad: It’s finally growing.) Yeah. (Brad: Yes) And when we changed it from me being the CEO to you being the CEO, even that definition switch changed how you show up in the business and how I show up in the business. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) And so, but he defined himself as a happiness coach, like, so. I mean, like, just right there, A – I want to know more. And then also, it really does help him filter like what he does, and what he, what he says yes to based on that. And so the definition of yourself is so powerful because it can literally uplift you and expand you or you could box yourself in and make yourself small. So I think I would, I would challenge people. I love the stigma. I would challenge you to tell someone who you are. Tell us, what’s your definition? (Brad: Yeah) I’ll listen.
Brad Crowell 20:08
Yeah. Tell us how you define yourself. And you can just DM the pod on Instagram. But, I found it really fun to think about your new definition of yourself, your new title as it were, which is CPO.
Lesley Logan 20:31
Oh, I know I was like…ooh.
Brad Crowell 20:33
What’s a CPO?
Lesley Logan 20:34
Well, and that’s something I didn’t even know was an existence, y’all there. This is the thing. If you, first of all, if you don’t define yourself, other people are gonna define you. So you may as well come up with your own, just side note. And then, but we were doing this whole thing with our coach one time, and she’s like, “Yeah, Lesley, you are in charge of all the ideas and art. And so you’re the CPO.” I was like, tell me more (Brad: product) I’m the product officer. I’m the Chief Product Officer. So
Brad Crowell 21:03
But that’s, that’s funny, but that’s (Lesley; Oh she’s a Pilates Officer) Yeah, how you define yourself is the Chief Pilates Officer of the company. And that’s funny and fun. And you know, exciting. (Lesley: Yeah), you know, and yes, it still comes with responsibilities. But, you know, it’s obviously our play on words – her CPO, she’s the Chief Pilates officer.
Lesley Logan 21:27
Chief Pilates Officer, Chief Positivity Officer. I mean, it’s a Chief Pod Officer right now. But, but I think, I really think the power of the words you say about yourself matter, because here’s the thing, your brain and your body are listening all the time. So if you go around telling people like Rob is, “I’m a happiness coach” Boom. But you start seeing all the different ways you can coach people on happiness, you can be happy, like you can search for happiness. But if you come lower on talking about yourself, it’s like, oh, I’m, I’m just a trainer, or I’m just, I’m just an assistant or I’m just, you know, working on this. I have a side hustle while I go to school. I’m just a student that word ‘just’ is terrible. And also, you are limiting yourself. And so have I think have fun coming up with your title. (Brad: Yeah.) Isn’t it Tom’s the company where people can make their own job title up?
Brad Crowell 22:27
I want to say it can be tough.
Lesley Logan 22:31
It could be tough. Also, I do know that there are people who at Google, somebody made themself the chief, like the (Brad: Chief Happiness) Chief Happiness. Yeah. Happiness.
Brad Crowell 22:40
He was appointed. (Lesley: Yeah) Yes.
Lesley Logan 22:43
Yeah, Anyways, that’s your homework. Okay. So now in every podcast, I like to ask our guests tips on how you can be it because, y’all, it’s not just about inspiration, like you can get that anywhere, I want you to have transformation, I want you to really, truly like sort of see yourself in the thing that you are wanting to do you want this planet. And so, Rob actually, like went to town, he gave us so many. So you got to listen to all of them. But my favorite was journaling. And here’s why. And we talked about this, I believe in his podcast, which is like, my therapist told me I needed a journal. And just so you know, Brad knows this. I have like 17 beautiful journals. And I don’t write any of them. I buy them. Who, if you’re listening, raise your hand right now but if you’re driving, keep hands on the wheel. Who buys journals, because like their higher self is going to journal someday? That’s me. And I keep them and I don’t write anything in them. And so she’s like, I want you to journal. A week later, when I came back for therapy. She’s like, how’s the journaling going on? I’m like, so I want to actually know what you mean by journaling. Is there a prompt I should be answering? Like, Hello. Recovering overachiever and perfectionist over on this end of the mic. So I do journal every single day. I do what’s called morning pages. And there I’ll talk about it a lot on this podcast because it’s really, truly, it changed my world. You do it first thing in the morning. So I’ve had people tell me Okay, I do it in the afternoon but that’s not morning pages, like, it specifically says morning. And the idea is that you brain dump for three pages on a legal pad and you never read them again. So if you are someone who wants to read your thoughts later on, this is not for you. But if you are someone who is like I hear you to journal, I don’t know how to do it. You can take the LL route which is morning pages all the way. It’s from the book the Artist Way so if you really need to know how it comes down, but I promise you having like getting your thoughts out of your head onto paper really does help clear the mind. Anyways Brad, what was your favorite takeaway?
Brad Crowell 24:39
I? So I love how tangible and physical the idea of journaling is. Mine was a little more esoteric.
Lesley Logan 24:52
That’s good. Everyone’s got a different kind of thing. So for the esoteric here you go, Brad’s got one for you.
Brad Crowell 24:58
Rob said something that I thought was really ridiculous. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought, the more I like it. He said be the happiness that you’re chasing. And I was like, come on, like, How does it even work? Right? Like you can’t just be the happiness that you’re chasing. And then I thought, well, that’s really funny because it’s perfectly applicable to our podcast of being it.
Lesley Logan 25:33
I love it. He just missed that. And it was like, basically what I’m doing.
Brad Crowell 25:35
Right? But I thought, how ridiculous to just do it, just be it, whatever. Right? (Lesley: Just be it) But then he took a second and he quantified it. And he said, he said, You can, you know, the happiest that you’re chasing is obviously that quote unquote, happiness is in front of you. Right? Like, obviously, that’s where you quote unquote, want to be someday, right. And he said, however, if you can be in the now, if you can focus on the present moment. And you can dwell on happiness in the present moment, then you can be the happiness that you are chasing. Right now.
Lesley Logan 26:25
So you have it. That made me think of two things. First, it makes me think of the quote, Be the change you want to see. Second, it makes me think of all that talk about being in the present. And a lot of people are always chasing the dream, chasing the thing. Like, Oh, well, when I lose weight, then I’ll be happy. When I have this job, I’ll be happy. When I have this significant other then I’ll be happy. When I get that new lipstick, it’s gonna change my life. Like, there’s always these, like, there’s always a next thing. And I agree, like, if you can actually be the happiest you wish to be in the future in your present moment. Then you’re not actually chasing anything and instead – not only are you being it until you see it (what, what, thanks, Rob for that) – but I think you’re just gonna end like you’re gonna see all the things around you that are already there supporting you on that journey that you’re gonna go on.
Brad Crowell 27:27
Yeah, I mean, I think that it’s a fascinating idea. And I think that it’s worth exploring in your own life.
Lesley Logan 27:40
I think I’m going to try and do that tomorrow.
Brad Crowell 27:42
Yeah. If you can, like, for example, just sitting here in our new podcast space.
Lesley Logan 27:51
I know, it’s so pretty
Brad Crowell 27:52
Enjoying the vibe that we created in here. And this moment, you know, this this time. Imagine if this was our life moving forward, I would love it. (Lesley: Yeah) It would be amazing. It is amazing,
Lesley Logan 28:11
Right? Instead of us like going, Okay, how long is this gonna take? We gotta order that sushi before they close. Like we’re actually being the happiness, being the thing in the moment. It really does make, I think it also helps you expand time, to be honest.
Brad Crowell 28:26
Yeah, we’re getting metaphysical here.
Lesley Logan 28:29
Well. You know, Brad, I think that’s a great takeaway. And I you know, what I love about you. There’s many things, everyone, and you’ll get to know them. But he is the most curious person. He asked. Like, if something is said in a podcast that he hears not just mine, but like others. And he is like, Huh, I don’t agree with that, or that’s interesting, or how does it even work? He goes down the rabbit hole of researching it and I learn so many things, whereas I may go, No, that’s geez. Like, he puts a question mark on it. And like really goes through it. So it’s really fun to, for that to, for you to be here. Because otherwise we’ll only do the things that are tangible strategic, like, let’s get into it.
Brad Crowell 29:14
I might say that I find that ironic, because usually our roles are very reversed in that sense. (Lesley: Yeah, but) I that I’m the action taker.
Lesley Logan 29:23
Y’all, welcome to being in the Chief Pilates pod officer room. The roles are reversed.
Brad Crowell 29:28
I love it.
Lesley Logan 29:31
Well, anyway, everyone, and anyone listening to this, just favor and let us know what your favorite takeaways of Rob’s podcast interview were. You can screenshot this and post it in your stories and tag us. Also, if you have questions that you want to.. (Brad: Tag Rob, too) Tag Rob Mack, too. And if you have questions that you want us to answer, you can DM the be_it_pod, all that stuff, all the information is in the show notes below. I just want to say thank you so much, and I can’t wait to hear how you use Rob’s tips to change your life and Be It Till You See It and I will see you next time. Thank you.
Brad Crowell 30:06
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast!
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Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.
Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.
And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.
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Curiosity – the word of this recap with Lesley and Brad. Together they recall the curious convo that LL had with Tina Tang in the previous episode, reflecting on the opinions of others, how w...
Tina Tang is so real! Her life experiences of trading on Wall Street, quitting Goldman Sach’s to open multiple jewelry stores in Manhattan, going through a difficult divorce, and becoming an ...