Letting WHY

Lead You to HOW

Ep. 109 with Lesley & Brad

“The rejection is part of the lesson.”

Lesley Logan

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Show Notes

How have past rejections continued to influence the path you are on? What if you used the rejection instead to guide where you are headed? Listen in for LL and Brads thoughts on everything from turning rejection to success, distinguishing your balance role models, and defining a “pause”.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • Updates and challenges for OPC
  • Defining a “Pause” and acknowledging obstacles
  • Naming the role models for balance
  • From rejection to success
  • Letting the Why lead you to the How

Episode References/Links:

Transcript

Lesley Logan 0:01
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

—-

Lesley Logan 0:46
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad Crowell and I are going to dig into this persistent convo with Roxy Menzies in our last episode. Oh my God, I love her. If you haven’t yet, listen to interview, feel free to pause this now, go back, listen to that one, come back on over and join us on this or listen to this, then listen to that. It’s okay. There’s nothing there’s no perfect order. I am really excited because a couple things have happened. We have wrapped up our Control Your Balance Challenge, which was a lot of fun. We’ve had so many people sign up. And I just really love helping people realize that you don’t have to actually get the exercise, you can actually replace the exercise with any exercise that builds you up along the way.

Brad Crowell 1:28
But this one was still a fun one to dig into. I mean, this is like one of the the, I always just compare it to doing a handstand for Yogi’s. Right? (Lesley: Yeah) Like that’s like the, the, the pinnacle that’s like the you can do everything from that point. Not necessarily true. But that’s what everybody thinks about, “Oh, man, you know, you’re not a good Yogi until you’ve nailed this move. We tried to pick the same one that people have that view for Pilates, (Lesley: Yeah) which isn’t true. But still, it’s the big, it’s like a big pose people avoid.

Lesley Logan 1:56
Yeah, either either scares people and they never do it, which is fine. If you’re never like, there might be reasons why you are never going to do it. There was a person Instagram was like, she used to love it. And now because of something going on her body, she can’t do it anymore. That’s fine. (Brad: Yeah, yeah.) Because I believe it’s brave and courageous to just replace that exercise with another one you can do. So that’s what we really help people do like whether they if they whether or not they did that exercise, control your balance, control balance off, they have now an exercise they can do during that time to get them there. It’s like it’s like people doing handstand on a wall (Brad: Right) or doing what someone where you put your feet, L pose … (Brad: Yeah. L pose.) Like you get to do that instead so you don’t feel like, “Oh, I have to sit this one out.” Nope, you keep moving. So

Brad Crowell 2:35
Well either way, I mean, having, you know, all the community in the Facebook group, and then everybody on Instagram, you know, really supporting each other. And, you know, encouraging each (Lesley: Yeah) other to work through this challenging pose was a lot of fun.

Lesley Logan 2:53
Yeah, it was a lot of fun and thanks to my OPC teachers, Rachel, Tammy and Mindi for helping me encourage everyone and give them tips and strategies along the way. We are also packing the van backup because we are leaving for Momentum Fest.

Brad Crowell 3:07
So if you want to join us for the Full Body in 15 challenge, just click the link in the show notes here. And you’ll be directed to get on the waitlist for that.

Lesley Logan 3:16
Yeah, that one’s really fun. It is a full body workout in 15 minutes. All you need is a mat so you don’t have to have access to reformer like our last one.

Brad Crowell 3:23
Yeah, and if you’re if you’re new to Pilates, that one is perfect for you. We’re going to (Lesley: Yeah) be starting with the foundations.

Lesley Logan 3:28
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so clearly I’m really excited about our trip. (Brad: Yeah) I’m really excited because this is, so we love Momentum Fest. If you listened in our last recap, we talked about how much we love Momentum Fest. If you haven’t heard that, go back and listen to it. But really what I’m so excited about is we have made it a new tradition on our way to Momentum Fest. We take a little pause, (Brad: Yeah) and we like see some sights, then we work and then we see some sights on my home. So this time we are gonna go we’re not camping. But we are staying in the Mesa Verde cabins overlooking this incredible National Park. We’re gonna get a nice pause. A lovely relaxation. (Brad: Yeah.) Some hikes in. And we’re gonna and then on our way back. I think we’re gonna try to dig up our own crystals. I think (Brad: That’s a…) I think Brad is researching that.)

Brad Crowell 4:10
I’m working on that in, so the Mesa Verde National Park is in Colorado. And if you haven’t seen pictures of that, just Google that really quick. They have like a full blown city was carved into the Butte, the site of a Butte by the first tribes here. Back in the day, like I don’t know, thousand years ago here (Lesley: Yeah) and I didn’t know that we had that in the United States. I have been chasing temples all around the world. And then we had it in our own backyard. (Lesley: Yeah) So we’re staying there and then on the way back in Utah, we’re working on hopefully finding a spot where we can possibly dig up some crystals ourselves. (Lesley: I know.) That’d be really fun.

Lesley Logan 4:52
I know. So anyways, which kind of leads into this week’s audience question.

Brad Crowell 4:56
Oh, great. Yeah, so that question would be, “How do you take a pause when you don’t have time or money?”

Lesley Logan 5:08
Yeah. So I am really glad that this question was asked, because first of all, it takes a lot of vulnerability. Because it (Brad: Yeah) takes it takes you acknowledging that, you know, you need the pause. And also you acknowledging the obstacles that are in your way from doing it. (Brad: Sure.) And part of those obstacles are not going to, I think some people would say, “That’s the story you’re telling yourself.” And I can understand that the stories we tell ourselves, I also think that that is a little flippant, and not acknowledging that some people, and I was one of those people. I didn’t if I had the time, I didn’t have the money. And if I had the money, I didn’t have the time. (Brad: Sure.) And so if you find yourself in that position, we’ve been there, sometimes we’re there. And so I really am grateful for this question, because I think you’re not the only one, wondering how to take a pause when there are restrictionsin your ability to do that. So,

Brad Crowell 5:57
So, I think first we need to define a pause. (Lesley: Yeah. Well, what’s the pause to you?) Well, I think in the context, here, we were just talking about our drive. So obviously, that requires the ability to take a day off. (Lesley: Yeah) A full day off. Right. So that may not be an option. And so I think that we can change the definition of what we consider a pause. I think once a year, getting a true proper vacation, disconnecting from the way we run our lives and whatnot is really important to do. And maybe that’s camping. And (Lesley: Yeah) because that’s, like financially viable. If that …

Lesley Logan 6:39
That’s what my parents did, we couldn’t take vacations, we didn’t have, I think they got us to Disneyland once. But like (Brad: Yeah) we went camping because it was $5 a night.

Brad Crowell 6:47
Right. Yeah, same for us. We might, I grew up absolutely camping up and down the East Coast. Because my parents didn’t really have money to take us the places.

Lesley Logan 6:59
I’m picturing some of our listeners right now and going, “No way guys that cannot be the answer to my question.”

Brad Crowell 7:04
No, but I think the idea there is it’s something that’s not financially, like a huge financial burden. You know, but but what I was gonna say is, I think it’s important to take a a true, like multiple day disconnect from the life that we’ve built for ourselves once a year. But your disconnect your pause could be much smaller than that.

Lesley Logan 7:27
Yeah. And also so I think I love that question you posed like, what is a pause? I think first of all, that is like the definition of success. You need to define what a pause is for you first, (Brad: Yeah.) And then you need to look at the time and or money aspect of that pause. For me, I strip it down to a pause is you can’t get a hold of me. I’m not expected to do what I do. Like if I don’t want to do my morning routine. I don’t need to do it. If I don’t want to look at my email. I’m not expected to do it. Like a pause is everyone knows. LL is unreachable in this moment. And, and sometimes it’s two hours. You know, sometimes it’s like literally, (Brad: Right) like, my week got too busy. And I’m like, you know what, if I have to do that thing on Saturday, guess what? Friday afternoon, I’m done at one. Do not ask me to do anything. And I put a pause in there. So they don’t have to be multiple, I do agree that everyone needs once a year where you really do get out of your like really get out of it. We we’ve definitely had the times where we’ve had the money but not the time or the time but not the money. (Brad: Sure.) And so here are some ideas for you, swap houses with a friend like (brad: ohh) literally go like go swap houses. So it’s like an Airbnb, but you didn’t have to deal with it. You can check in whenever you want. You can do, you can bring a dog if you want. You can have more …

Brad Crowell 8:37
Did you say swapped dogs? No, no.

Lesley Logan 8:39
No, no. Swap houses. Swap houses. Some other things I would say is like, you know what we’re doing to go Momentum Fest. We have to work on Momentum Fest. So that’s not a pause. But we can actually make the time there. And the time back a pause …

Brad Crowell 8:51
Yeah, we can add an extra day to our drive one day on each end so that we can have time for ourselves. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 8:58
Yeah. So and also, like, just when we’re recording this podcast, I, I did not have five days in a row to pause. There was work that needed to get done, like recording this podcast. So I had a couple days paused. And then I had a day where I’m working here. And then we’re going into pause again, (Brad: Yeah) like and it’s so, just being clear on what that is …

Brad Crowell 9:18
For me when I was working my job, which was really high stress all the time. And it was like a lot of difficult energy to be around. I would take a pause every single day during my lunch break, and I would walk twice around this massive block. First off, it gave the dog the chance to get out and walk around. But also it was a, it was a relief from the intensity of the surroundings that I was in. And it was my moment of like big, (Lesley: Yeah) big deep breath so that I could prepare myself to go finish the rest of the day.

Lesley Logan 9:51
I love that. So I think first of all, first thing figure out what a pauses is for you. Second, figure out what is like get creative. Maybe it’s you go on a hike in a different hike each week that you’ve never done before, even (Brad: Sure) each month, maybe like, I really do think a pause is like you don’t have like people can’t get a hold of you like that, to me is a true pause. (Brad: Yeah) Leave your phone behind and go on a walk around the block. Just some other things, there are utility bills and bills, you have to pay every single month, I highly recommend putting them on a credit card that you pay off each month for utilities that allows you to get points, that allows you to apply those to hotel rooms and flights. (Brad: Sure) Because if you don’t have money, or like the money aspect, a lot of the times you see me a hotel room ‘points baby’ points. (Brad: Right) And that’s because, you know, I, I need I need to change my surroundings to get creative. And yeah, I don’t always have the means to change them with with actual money, but you’re always paying your Netflix bill, you’re always paying your utility bills, like just put them on one of those things, and then rack them up and then treat yourself.

Brad Crowell 10:55
Yeah, and I was gonna say, you know, changing your environmentc a lot of times. I used to do this all the time, I would go work from a coffee shop, (Lesley: Yeah) you know. And it might …

Lesley Logan 11:06
It’s not a pause, but it’s a way of pausing.

Brad Crowell 11:09
It did, it was a it was a it was a change up of my work environment. (Lesley: Yeah) So, you know, and that, you know, still cost you 15 bucks or whatever if you’ve had a sandwich and a coffee, but you could sit there for a couple hours and you’re (Lesley: You’re changing environment.) changing environment.

Lesley Logan 11:22
So homework, I want to hear from you listeners. (Brad: Yeah.) What is your definition of a pause? (Brad: Yeah.) And then what are you going to do in the next three weeks to make that version happen.

Brad Crowell 11:34
In the next three weeks, literally making a decision (Lesley: Yeah) today that you’re going to (Lesley: Yeah) incorporate a pause in. (Lesley: Yeah) We want to know about your pause.

Lesley Logan 11:41
Yeah. Tag us in your pause. (Brad: Yeah) Yeah. I love that. (Brad: Yeah) Oh it’s a fun game, we just made up. Okay. (Brad laughs)

Brad Crowell 11:49
Okay, now let’s talk about Roxy Menzies. From traveling the world teaching and presenting and performing, Roxy is now back in her hometown of Toronto, as a freelance writer and a storyteller in the realm of health and wellness. She is a mother of a cute rambunctious toddler (Lesley: Oh, I love her.) and is making it her mission to guide, educate and create safe spaces for individuals to explore their own movements.

Lesley Logan 12:16
Okay, one thing I love that she said is naming the role models of balance. So this is, she was we were talking about balance at the time and like finding balance and as like, “How do you find balance, you’re a mom?”

Brad Crowell 12:25
When you say balance, you know, like a work life, work life balance (Lesley: Yeah) kind of thing? (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah, yeah.

Lesley Logan 12:29
Life work balance is more alphabetical. And also more intentional. But yeah, she so she talked about naming her role models of balance and like, what what, like Obama, Michelle Obama do and like all this stuff, and I think (Brad: Right) like insert any, anything you’re wanting more of in your life, and then pick role models for, let’s say, what was I listening too? Maybe I was talking to someone. Anyways, oh, there was something there or someone’s like, I have a board of directors, oh, I was listening to another podcast and they’re talking about Napoleon Hill. And he had his own, like, board of directors that he would talk to, they’re not a real board. They’re like a made up like mastermind (Brad laughs) of like people and it was like Napoleon Hill. So from, like, 100 years ago, so it was like, like, hoover and rows of and I’m gonna go like people (Brad: Right) like, like, think about who are the people that you’re trying to aspire to have? What they have in that thing? Balance, success, love, money, mindset, things like that. And then have those people like actually, like, think about, like, what would they do? So that would help guide you and what you can do. I fucking loved it. I thought it was great.

Brad Crowell 13:33
I love that. I but I also think the role model, you know, she was saying, “I’m a mom, and I’m a writer, and I’m a teacher and a spouse and I’m,” what are all the all the things, right? And she’s like, “I, I decided, I needed a role model.” And so she chose Michelle Obama. And what a role model, right? Because, (Lesley:Yeah) wow, First Lady, being a mom, to the Pres… you know, like married to the President and raising kids in the White House with (Lesley: How does she balance?) like, how could you have any balance in that in that role? And, you know, they they made it through eight years of that and that’s incredible. So what an inspiration, what an inspirational person to choose as a role model. So, you know, you can name your own role model too and and then you can be …

Lesley Logan 14:24
lt’s like Hazel Ortega, like (Brad: Yeah) J.Lo is her, J.Lo is her mentor. Like …

Yeah. J.Lo is her mentor. Sure. Exactly.

Yeah. I loved it. I think it’s great. So anyways, I’m into it. And I think we should all be like creating our own like, little board of people that we’re going to act as if.

Brad Crowell 14:40
Yeah, one thing I love that she said was that you will be rejected in life more than not. (Lesley: Yes, that is so true.) And I never think I’ve ever really thought about it, although it’s quite logical because I’m such a huge fan of of getting rejected to success.

Lesley Logan 15:00
That’s so and everything’s a numbers game anyways, and like (Brad: Right) you put it, you couldn’t keep, you think you’re busy now, you couldn’t keep up with all the, all the, all the getting everything you ever wanted all the time, you just couldn’t keep up with it, it wouldn’t be possible.

Brad Crowell 15:14
Right. Totally well, even even so just the idea that we will be rejected more than than accepted. She was specifically talking about it as a writer and submitting her articles and, you know, connecting with, with the editors and all that kind of stuff. And she, I mean, just saying this out loud, should be a relief, right? Like, “Hey, the here’s, here’s the reality, will be rejected more than not.” And so it kind of allows you to reframe that and look at it in a different way with a different mindset. (Lesley: Yeah) Where, okay, cool it, you know, yes, this probably sucked in the moment, and I’m really disappointed and frustrated. But it’s, you know, this is not, this is this is normal.

Lesley Logan 16:02
Yeah. And also, you’re gonna reject more things than you’re gonna say, ‘yes’, so just like, (Brad: Sure) just know, like, you know, I have to, I have to reject people who want to be on a pod. And I’m like, I feel like, I feel like an asshole because I know how it feels to be rejected. But also, that’s part of the lesson that we all, the rejection is part of the lessons we have to learn in this life to get us to the next thing we have to do, and we just have to reframe how we think about it.

Brad Crowell 16:23
Yeah, yeah. And she specifically said, she allows herself to feel the feels. And I thought that was really cool because, you know, she said, “I don’t do it publicly but I leave myself some space to get frustrated and be angry and say, ‘I’m so upset about this’, and then move on.” (Lesley: Yeah) You know, but feeling the feels is important because well I mean, I know you have spoken about this before, but, you know, if you don’t allow yourself to actually feel it and express it, it doesn’t mean you didn’t, it’s just going to be bottled up inside. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. And, and like, (Lesley: Yeah.) paying attention to that frustration, that stress, that fear, that anger, that whatever, in, you know, for a moment in the moment, will really help you work through that energy.

Lesley Logan 17:18
Yeah, and, and, y’all, you don’t have I’m not the science behind this. But there is a book called The Body Keeps the Score for a reason. You have to feel your feelings, otherwise your body is going to hold on to it. So just (Brad: Yeah) it’s important. Okay, I love her. Let’s go on to the BE IT action items.

Brad Crowell 17:37
All right. So what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Roxy Menzies? I will start off she, she said, “Get really clear on your why, and your what?” Now, of course, she again, the context here is she’s becoming a (Lesley: She is a writer.) she is a writer, so but she, like in the process of becoming a writer. She said, it didn’t start off that way. Where she was like, “I’m going to pursue this as a career goal.” And then suddenly, there was like, a light bulb moment of like, “Oh, this could be an actual decision for me to pursue.” And so she began to get clear on she on the ‘what’, like, she loves writing, always enjoyed writing, and then started writing, even though she’s not like, didn’t go to school for it or any of that stuff. But once she landed that first gig, it was like, “Oh, this could be a real thing.” And then the ‘why’, you know, for her just guessing here, but she can be home with her, you know, two and a half year old (Lesley: Yeah) or be traveling anywhere on the world because I know that she used to do a lot.

Lesley Logan 18:49
And she can influence more people with her words, and she could with her teaching and so like I what I loved about this too is like, notice the word how isn’t in there? I think most people (Brad: Right) focus on “How am I going to do that?” But if you can’t but how everything I learned the ‘how’ comes, you have to focus on the ‘why,’ you’re doing it and the what it is you’re doing and the ‘how’ kind of reveals itself.

Brad Crowell 19:12
Yeah. Wow, that that, I’m going to take notes on that for me, (Lesley: Yeah) for me personally, that’s, that’s some …

Lesley Logan 19:18
Oh, made us influence Brad right there. (Brad laughs) All right, what about you? I mean, my biggest takeaway is don’t let the rejection keep you from other goals. So this kind of goes on to like, she fills her feelings and then she moves on. I really have seen too often and myself included, we get rejected, and then it stops us from working on other things. (Brad: Oh, shuts shuts us down.) This is like a big extreme version of this as the people who get rejected and they just don’t leave their house again. Or they like, do you know what I mean? Like they stopped showering and they stopped taking care of themselves but like (Brad: Sure) like even on like you might not be that person because you have other things you have to do that keep you getting out the door. But I think a lot of people get rejected and then they just don’t put themselves out there again. (Brad: Yeah.) And so like, like they talked to someone at a coffee shop about doing something because it’s like, no, and like, it didn’t work. And it’s like, well, it didn’t work in that moment. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t work ever, you know, and I think reject… rejection, as you mentioned, is like it’s gonna happen. And I’m really hoping to get the author of Rejection Proof on here someday, you know, because it he, he really inspired me. I had a lot of noes from a lot of people that I found really important and influential on my life that I actually know. And they told me ‘no’, and I, so I hadn’t reached back out to them. Well, it’s been a year, I have 100 episodes, we’re in the top 2.5% of podcasts in the world, like, they should want to be on my show. (Brad: Sure.) So I should go ask them again. And and so, you know, I realized then that their rejection had stopped me from pursuing them again. (Brad: Yeah.) And or pursuing people at their level again. And so I think it’s really important that we don’t let a rejection of something in a moment stop us from other moments and other things.

Brad Crowell 20:57
Yeah. You know, and I think, well, I think you summed that up, actually, really nicely. I was, I just wanted to say before we sign off here, when Roxy was on the episode before this, she mentioned the course that she wrote for Profitable Pilates, (Lesley: Yeah) and if writing for a publication is of any interest to you, and that’s something that you know, to actually go get paid for. Wow, what a course she has, it’s incredibly detailed. She goes through a lot of the …

Lesley Logan 21:32
It is the one of the best course we have on our site. Hands down.

Brad Crowell 21:34
Yeah. She she has gone through all the challenges of starting off as someone who has had an aspiration of being a writer to actually like, going through all the steps over the past couple of years. And she she kind of lifts the lid on on on it and like how it works and what you can do to participate. So can’t recommend this course more. Just go to profitablepilates.com/courses. And you can find it in there.

Lesley Logan 22:02
Yeah. Well, I love Roxy. Thank you so much for being on. I’m Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 22:06
And I’m Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 22:07
Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know, inquiring minds, really want to know. So … (Brad: These two inquiring minds.) These two and I know Roxy, too. So what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna screenshot this episode, you’re going to post it on your social, you’re gonna tag the @be_it_pod, you’re going to tag @roxyspiral. And you’re gonna let us know what your takeaways are. And if you’re like, “I have no idea how that even works.” I get it. Not everyone does Instagram for a living. So you can just text it to a friend, (Brad: Yeah) that’s fine. And you can just write into the show if you want that, all those links are below. But it’s really important to us that you are taking some messy action, you’re ditching perfection and you are Being It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 22:44
Bye for now.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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