Work-Life Balance,

the Seasons of Life and

Coping with Rejection

Ep. 109 ft. Roxy Menzies

“If you don’t ask, it won’t happen.”

Roxy Menzies

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Bio

After years of teaching, treating, performing and presenting around the world, Roxy has returned and is now based in Toronto, Canada. Continually curious about the capabilities of the human body, mind and spirit, she is a lover of movement with an affinity for Women’s Health and being an advocate for your own well-being.

With a background in dance, Pilates, GYROTONIC® and Yamuna® Body Rolling, she infuses artistry, knowledge, soul and a “fierce sense of humour” into her sessions. She has taught in the Canadian Educational system, professional dance companies, Cirque du Soleil and European corporations.

She still dabbles in the dance world after an extensive career in commercial and stage work including representing women for Nike Dance in Europe, training with The National Dance Theatre Company of Jamaica, dance pioneer Katherine Dunham and an original member of Toronto’s first all female Hip Hop dance group.

Roxy’s vision is to guide, educate and create safe spaces for individual’s to explore their own movement potential. She is an accomplished freelance writer for various publications, copywriter for wellness professionals, and has been a regular contributor to Pilates Anytime and Healthline.

Show Notes

Is the work-life balance real? Can you raise a toddler, chase your goals, and overcome rejection all at the same time? Roxy Menzies would say yes. Listen to hear all her wisdom from her years abroad teaching, performing, and presenting to now returning to her hometown and finding ways to inspire others to love movement.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • What kind of stories are you telling?
  • The balance of work and family
  • It’s not always easy or sustainable
  • Naming the role models for balance
  • Finding the people in your corner to support who you want to show up
  • Persistence over patience
  • The indoctrination of rejection

References/Links:

Transcript

INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan 00:00
Hello, Be It listener. I have a very special guest for you. Yeah, we have lots of special guests. But I have a very special guest for you. Her name is Roxy Menzies. And I, you’ll hear my introduction to her how long we’ve been in each other’s paths. And it’s just, do you ever those people that you like see from afar, and you’re watching them, and you’re seeing what they’re up to, and then your paths cross, and then you might not even know what things you have in common or how you’ll affect each other. In fact, you probably won’t. That’s kind of how you, we’re not psychics. At any rate, what’s really cool about this woman is I have been able to see different chapters of her life over time. And it is incredible, it’s amazing to see the strength and power this woman has and to watch how she has used that strength and power in different areas of her life, in different chapters of her life. And for those of you who are like, “Things aren’t happening fast enough.” For those of you who are like, “I’ve got, I’ve got young kids right now. I can’t do all the things I want to do.” This is episode for you. This is the episode for you. There are so many gems along the way. I want you whether you’re washing dishes, walking the dog, pay attention, just listen to what she’s saying. Because I think you’re going to easily see yourself in her story. And we talked a lot about writing. And if you don’t want to be a writer, I still want you to listen, because you can replace writing for anything that you are wanting to do. And I have a question about patients in there and the revelation around that is actually extremely important. I want you to hear it. And I love of course, I love the BE IT action items at the end but I really love her’s. They’re something you can do. They don’t cost you any money. So y’all, here she is Roxy Menzies.

Lesley Logan 01:21
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

Lesley Logan 2:41
Hey, Be It listeners. All right. I have Roxy Menzies with us today, and I am really thrilled to actually to get to see her face. We DM a lot. I have been watching her journey for a long time actually. She’s a bold, incredible woman. She actually approached me many years ago when I was a baby blogger just trying to get my words out there. And her blog posts for traveling instructors is still one of our top blogs on our site. And I got to follow her from her life and in Turkey into Canada and then being a mom. And now she is this really I mean, she’s always been writing but she has made it as a writer is doing some incredible thing. So Roxy, how’re you doing? Here …

Roxy Menzies 3:23
Hey! (Lesley: Thanks for being here.) Oh my gosh, what an intro. Thank you. (Roxy laughs)

Lesley Logan 3:28
I’m … I’m being it until I see it in my next life. I’ll be like an edification person, be that announcer through the stage. (Lesley laughs) And … next we have. Roxy, can you tell everyone who you are, where you’re at? What you rockin right now? What are you up to?

Roxy Menzies 3:43
All right. All right. Good question. All right. So basically, I am a teacher of a Pilates, Gyrotonic. And yeah, I’m in a body rolling. I come from a background of dance. I’ve been traveling around the world teaching, presenting, performing and all of that, and I’m back in my hometown of Toronto, Canada. And I’m also a freelance writer and a storyteller, mostly for the writing is mostly within the realm of health and health and wellness for now. And I’m a mom of a rambunctious toddler. (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 4:17
She’s, is she one, two?

Roxy Menzies 4:19
No. she’s, she’ll be two and a half in July.

Lesley Logan 4:22
Oh my gosh.

Roxy Menzies 4:24
So she’s almost reaching that independent stage. So I’ve been told. (Lesley laughs) But I have to be honest, I’m happy that she’s quite energetic. You know, I don’t think I’d want a kid that’s just like, blahh, you know, (Lesley and Roxy laughs) no energy and not doing anything. So, so yeah. (Lesley: That’s so funny.) Okay, she’s my ride or die …

Lesley Logan 4:24
She’s amazing. She’s so beautiful. And she’s so smart. And I love I love all the videos with her. I met a woman yesterday who, she’s a school teacher and she has two boys and and so the doctor said, “You know your second son, he’s he’s an orchid. He’s just an orchid.” He said he really, you just you have really precious with him. And she’s like, “I understand. I am a school teacher.” So, um, so you, you, you, as you mentioned, you write for health and wellness right now and I think a lot of people probably wonder like they, I think a lot of people want to write. I think they think they’re gonna write a book someday or maybe they’ll write a story someday. What made you start writing, have you been writing your whole life? What what got you into it?

Roxy Menzies 5:27
Ooh, good question. I feel like, I’ve always been writing. I’ve always loved stories, whether it’s, you know, oral stories, I mean, my mom’s a great ghost storyteller. But yeah, I love stories, I’ve loved reading. And, you know, I was I was very much into creative writing from a young child. But I never pursued it. So, so I just did little bits here and there. And then after high school, not so much. And then kind of sprinkled it in, throughout the years with, you know, not so much blog posts, but there were printed editions of, you know, community based companies and programs, and I just do one off here or there. And then, but I always want to do it more, I would probably say in the last six, six to eight years, it was it was a goal of mine to be doing more writing, (Lesley: Yeah) whether it was, you know, eventually a book of some sort. And just articles in general. For me, it’s also therapeutic. I get a lot of things out of my brain and emotionally off of my chest, (Roxy laughs) from writing. (Lesley: Yeah) But yeah, I would say it’s kind of always been there. But I’ve been growing with it. And I sort of, and how it became another income stream, wasn’t so much on on purpose, I kind of fell into it. I just wanted to write and get my voice out there thinking that it would come back to, to my website and what I was doing, but then it became it became something else. And from there, I can see other pathways growing.

Lesley Logan 7:08
Yeah. I think that’s really cool that you mentioned that it wasn’t necessarily the thought to do it as a living, it was more like it was just in you to do it. And I do think a lot of people might feel like, “Oh, if I’m not going to write for people, for people to pay me, maybe I like what’s the point.” But I love that you point out is is therapeutic, there is something, I do morning pages, and it’s therapy. It’s like, “Wat’s on my mind right now?” And it’s not for anyone else to read and then writing for things for people to read is is for me, I don’t know about for you. It’s like, this is something I feel like needs to is the question I’m hearing and I need the answer to be out there. And, and so I wonder though, you yes you mentioned you weren’t like writing forever. So it’s like you took a pause. And then you were like, “I really want to start doing this more.” As it became an income stream. Was there anything that was like key, like holding you back? Or were you just like now like, there’s no stopping me now? Like, was there any, you know, things you were kind of weighing, like, as an imposter syndrome around there? Because this is just like in the world of writing. And like, do you start to wonder about writing for other publications? What’s the process that you go through as you’re trying to get your work out there?

Roxy Menzies 8:17
Oh, sure. Yeah, for sure. I’m sure I had impostor syndrome, I still do at time, because something that’s come up a lot is people will say, “Oh, my grammar” and all that. And I am terrible with grammar. So that’s something that I always felt, you know, could hold me back or I’m not as good of a writer because of, you know, these grammatical things. I don’t have a journalism degree, you know, things like that. But, but things just kept coming up. And I also remember reading, I have a writing mentor, now, actually, and I read something that she had written, something along the lines of writers don’t have to worry about grammar. That’s what editors are for. Like you, as a writer, you are meant to express yourself and creatively get whatever story needs to be out there. And that really hit home. And that was almost like a huge relief for me. And the same was some of the editors I’ve had there. They say, “Don’t worry about that. You know, that’s my job. I take care of that.” (Lesley: That is so cool.) And I guess it’s not too too bad. (Lesley and Roxy laughs) You know, because I hear some horror stories about some editors out there, but so far, I’ve I’ve been pretty lucky.

Lesley Logan 9:31
Yeah, I think I love that you heard that and I love that you say that because I do think that holds people back. A lot of people think they’re not a writer or they think their grammar isn’t good enough. And same, it’s not for me either. I’m like, I feel like, “I, how did I miss, did I miss years of classes?” Like where did I get… (Lesley laughs)

Roxy Menzies 9:50
I know like some people they talk about these, you know, grammatical things. So I’m like, “I have no idea what they’re talking about.” (Roxy laughs)

Lesley Logan 9:56
When I was doing my flashcards, the Mat flashcards. I had one of the Agency members, who I know is like, she’s like us like she’s the person who’s like, “Um, you missed the, it’s a PDT, not PST,” and it’s like, “What is the difference? Is there a difference?” Like you know, like, doesn’t matter. We all know what’s going on, right? Anyway. So I was like, “Hey, can you read these?” And she’s like, “Do you guys want to have an Oxford comma? Or are you guys not Oxford comma people?” And I was like, “What is an Oxford comma?” So then I like look up Oxford commas. And then I was like, “Oh, my God, it was a massive lawsuit, put the Oxford comma and because I don’t want to get sued.” (Lesley laughs)

Roxy Menzies 10:31
Yeah, and those are funny things that come up. I mean, that’s something that I mean, if we talk about it later, in the writing course, for Profitable Pilates, I talked about that. And usually, every publication will give you a guide to how their style is, and it will say, and like, some will say, “We don’t use the Oxford coma, comma.” Some will say, you know, “We do, we don’t” and you know, other guidelines, like how many sources you can have, and, and they kind of guide you in that sense as well.

Lesley Logan 10:59
That’s so cool. That’s so great. I mean, I think (Roxy: Yeah) there’s the fear of the unknown, right? And also, maybe even the fear of what happens if it works out, like what happens if you all of a sudden start to write and then you know, what does that look like? What is … So you’re you weren’t writing as an income stream, you were teaching dance and teaching Yamuna and Pilates. And now, do you only write or is that the main focus right now? Did your career just completely shift?

Roxy Menzies 11:28
Um, it kind of felt like a did for a while because I did stop teaching. I mean, I, I would say probably from summer of 2019, I, I really started downsizing on the teaching, because we were moving abroad, and I was pregnant, and there was so much to do with that, like, my husband is not Canadian, so we had to get his papers. And, and you know, when (Lesley: That’s a process.) me coming back into the country full time. Yeah. So there was so much and then of course, we know, the pandemic hit. So a lot of things shifted. And then by August of 2020, I stopped teaching completely. So I just, I couldn’t manage all of it. I didn’t have the energy, and I didn’t and I didn’t feel like I could give it, I could give clients or or, you know, group classes enough at that point. (Lesley: Yeah) Do you know what I mean? Like, I felt like I was being pulled in too many directions.

Lesley Logan 12:23
Well, and also like, gosh, I mean, back then you had and a newborn, right? You had a newborn, you were back in a country you hadn’t lived in personally for a while. You’re trying to get your husband set up. There’s a pandemic, it’s a little hard to be teaching someone on Zoom when there’s a baby crying in the background, like (Roxy: Definitely) I can, I think a lot of people listening are probably going, “Oh my God her too?” Like, they probably don’t feel as alone. Because that especially that first six months to a year, depending where you were lived and what your kids ages were, it really did probably feel like for a lot people they had a pullback or or, or to understand that you only have so many priorities.

Roxy Menzies 13:00
Oh, definitely. I mean, I think some of the stats have come out in regards to how many women left the workforce. (Lesley: Yeah, so many.) You know, and they’re just slowly coming back into it. But it was actually good. It was it was a break. And I just started getting back into teaching, I would say February of this year. Yeah. So and that also is very minimal, how much I’m teaching because again, I have to balance everything out. Jazz, my toddler, she is only going to daycare part time. (Lesley: Yeah) And I’m, and I’m still trying to do some other things. And still, write. So I have to I have to watch how much teaching I take on. But it feels great. Like having that break was was amazing. And I feel like I’ve I’ve come back and I’m exploring, possibly a new way of teaching, (Lesley: Yeah) just because, you know, I do feel different in many ways, like, physically, emotionally. I mean you just grow.

Lesley Logan 14:00
Yeah, I think that’s, well, I think whether or not you had a kid the last two years, it’s pretty hard to be. I feel like it’d be really hard to have been the same person that I was before (Roxy: Sure) the pandemic. You know, a lot of time spent with myself. You’re like, “Why do we do this? How are we doing this?” I love that you are talking about that balance, though, because I do think a lot of moms particularly but parents in general, there’s a balance there, right? It’s like how much can you do have one thing while also spending time with your child? And is that a difficult conversation for you to have? Or are you is it easier now that it’s been two and a half years with her? Is it …

Roxy Menzies 14:44
No, (Lesley and Roxy laughs) I can tell you this it is constantly changing. I feel like it’s constantly changing because the I don’t know I I always used to think there was a way to find a balance and lately I’m questioning that. (Roxy laughs) But maybe, maybe there isn’t. And really, some things have to be like, I learned this from you, parking ideas, and parking things for now and coming back to it later. And, and I’ve really recognized that there really are phases in our life. And there are times where you have to put a focus on on certain things and other things have to be by the wayside. And, (Lesley: Yeah) and then it’ll change again, you know, they say, like, the seasons change. (Lesley: Yeah) So so I think that I’m still striving for a balance, like the the next thing for me is going to be like really self care, like when she, like I know, she’s going to day… daycare full time in the fall. And I already know that I’m not going to be taking on too much, because it’s going to be ‘me time’, it’s going to be taking care of me. (Roxy laughs)

Lesley Logan 15:49
Thank you for sharing that. You know, first of all, I used to listen to lots of podcasts about balance, and I heard people call it the work life blend, and then they are like, “No, it’s the life work balance, because that’s more alphabetical and we shove life before work anyways.” And then my, like constantly I think about my yoga teacher, who would teach these balance workshops. And he said, “Balance is actually just controlling like, it’s like, basically the space between falling.” So when you are balanced, like in a handstand, you are working on not falling either backwards or forwards. It’s (Roxy: Right) not like you’re just up there. And it’s like, chill beans, like it’s work. (Roxy: Yeah, work of the balance. No.) (Lesley laughs) Nailed it. Where’s my gold star?

Roxy Menzies 16:31
You’re constantly, it’s constantly, you know, like, you’re moving around, faltering, figuring it out.

Lesley Logan 16:37
Yeah, like your, your fingertips are taking more weight than the heel of your hands, you’re, you’re contracting more muscles. And so I have stopped thinking that balance is easy. And nor is it like something that is sustainable, because, you know, eventually there’s going to be something that tips the balance in one direction or the other. And it doesn’t mean that, like, I’m not looking to have balance of some kind, but I think it’s like, for me, and I love what you’re saying for you. There is a season, you have a self care season ahead for you, you know, and …

Roxy Menzies 17:08
Yeah, that hopefully will stay, (Roxy laughs) forever. Forever in my life.

Lesley Logan 17:13
Yeah, well let me know how that goes. But I and it’s like, there are going to be seasons like, where you can actually for people listen, like you can work more towards whatever your work goal is because maybe the kids maybe your kid is in school, or maybe you have an extra time or you just have a flow, you know. Kareen Walsh did an episode like, it’s okay for you to hustle. It’s just what your hustle becomes a hassle. Right? When people are like, (Roxy: Yeah) grinding it out. And so, and thank you for sharing that because I …

Roxy Menzies 17:37
Right. And that’s a season too, right? (Lesley: Yeah) Because, and that’s the thing, you know, I feel like we get so many conflicting bits of information, right? Because because you’ll get the you know what? Life shouldn’t be about the grind. And then we get in, then we get the other one that’s like, “Yo, I’m hustling, and I’m making it.” And there are going to be times in your life. Like she said, like, you have to hustle. And you just know that okay, for this, whatever, 10 weeks, it’s going to be tight. This is going to be I’m not going to be able to do this as much. And I’m gonna have to focus on this. But it can’t. It’s not sustainable, like you said, so it can’t go on and on and on. It has to change. And that even goes back to what you were just saying about the balance. Right. (Lesley: Yeah) So so it’s really interesting, but I want to share something with you, (Lesley: Tell me. Tell me. I love it. I love it.) On the round of be it till you see it. Well, there’s two things I want to share with you. (Lesley: Yeah) So, I think it was a couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch. And I was just thinking and I was like, “Oh, I know what my next be it till you see it is going to be.” (Lesley: I’m so excited. What is it?) Because I’ve been feeling very, oh speaking of balance just a bit all over the place. And the house is messy. And I don’t feel like our routines are set with with a toddler. And I was like, “You know what, I’m gonna be the organized mom until I see it.” So that is the thing that I’m working on. And I’ve tried to have an image of who you’d like to have, like a role model and (Lesley: Yeah) it is so funny, because the things that keep popping in my head, you want to talk about things that are ingrained in you from society. Is that sort of not maybe like Stepford wife but like the homemaker like 50s with the apron and that’s not the image that I want. Something like, “Who is a mom role model?” And just today I went Michelle Obama. (Lesley: Aah) Yes, that is that is the be it till you see it mom role model that I’m going for.

Lesley Logan 19:31
Oh, yes. And and because she definitely to me represents organized mama like she really and she had clear boundaries and she felt like she wasn’t (Roxy: Yeah) because I when I think of like those Stepford wife person, it’s like, they’re doing everything for everybody and she was like, “No, Mr. Obama President you will have dinner with us and actually …” (Lesley and Roxy laughs)

Roxy Menzies 19:53
Yeah. Exactly, you’re gonna have to rework your schedule.

Lesley Logan 19:55
Yeah. You know, I love this. I’m I’m trying to think of the book because there is one and I can’t think of the name, but it will come to me and I will send it to you. It’s about a guy who talks about how we do have these different roles that we can play. And he talks about how even Martin Luther King, he brings them upside. So he puts a glasses on when he would write. And it was kind of like his Superman kind of like, glasses thing, but becasue he didn’t need them to write.

Roxy Menzies 19:55
Yeah. We just to talk about that back in the day when I was dancing. You know, we used to say, because I was in this, we were like the first all female hip hop group in Toronto. And I remember a friend of mine saying one time, like, “You know, how you dress is gonna affect how you dance and the attitude,” you know. So, so we were doing like, you know, really grounded, gritty, hip hop dancing. And she was like, “You know, we can’t come in with your ballet tights and leotard.” Like, you’re not going to have that same, you know, feeling so so I get that when you say about the role or even sometimes, you know, especially like, you know, this whole work from home phenomenon that’s gone on, and people are like, “Well, you know, what, you still wake up and you still put something on.” (Lesley: Yeah) You know, or people just put on their lipstick. And I (Lesley: Yeah) get to work because that signifies that change …

Lesley Logan 21:11
Yeah, I changed my clothes. I’ve been changing my clothes after I try, if I’m like, today, I’m filming. So I’m completely in workout gear for this podcast. But typically, I will change out of workout clothes into real clothes. So that I’m like, real clothes. It’s like they’re all clothes. But they are like, (Roxy: Yeah) clothes people … (Roxy: I got what you mean.) Yeah. So then I’m like, oh, so when I got, it… you show … I show up differently. I show up for like, I’m, I’m here to work. And then when the workday is over, I’ll change into like the clothesI walk the dogs and like it put those different things on. Amy Ledin, who I think you remember her from, she did the DACs. Remember her?

Roxy Menzies 21:46
Yes. She’s the one with the cards or the (Lesley: Yes) four things? (Lesley: Yes) Yes.

Lesley Logan 21:52
Yes. So she actually has different names for different things. She has her health person, and she has a name for them. And she had her religious person, which was actually called, I want to say her name was Jane Maxwell after like a famous female minister and famous male minister. And like she met the names together, she ended up meeting John Maxwell. (Lesley and Roxy laughs) Because of this …

Roxy Menzies 21:52
Is like a confusing when you have too many though? (Lesley: Yeah, I mean …) I would get, I would get confused and overwhelmed.

Lesley Logan 22:20
Yeah, I know. But I think um, I really love going back to your like you how it’s like, what would what would Michelle Obama as a organized mama do like right here. And that has been what helped me. That’s why this podcast exists. It’s what helped me be a CEO of my company, when I’m like, “I don’t know how you grow company.” Like, I know how to get clients. I don’t know how to like scale a company. I don’t know how to hire all these different team members. I’ve never thought about a corporate structure, all these things. And so I was like, “Okay, well, who do I need to be like, who is a female founder? Who I, who does this? What would she do? If she was …”

Roxy Menzies 22:57
Well that … Yeah, sorry for interrupting you.

Lesley Logan 23:01
No, you’re fine. Go ahead.

Roxy Menzies 23:02
I was gonna say it’s, it was the same with writing. You know, I was like, I don’t, I don’t know how to do a blog for someone. Do I have to do, choose the pictures? Do I have to actually go into your website and put it into. I just send you the doc, like, there was a huge learning curve. And now I’m in this, this writing mentorship for a year. And I’m with this amazing cohort of women writers, and most of them are, they’re all writers or publishers, or they have their own publishing house. And there’s so much information. Again, so much stuff I don’t know, like about the contracts or you know, if you want to self publish, how do you do that? What to look for in contracts? Like, the whole thing about the publishing industry. You know, there’s so much there. And if you don’t know where to start, you’re, you know, you’re swimming in unchartered waters, so to speak, (Lesley: Yeah) you know, so, so one, it helps. Yeah. I mean, you go for it, and you and you find, you start researching. But then also, it’s like, you also need other people in your court. (Lesley: Yeah) You have to find the support or they find you and I think that happens when but like you said, when you be it till you see it, like if you’re when you’re solid in that and you’ve put out what you want, things will start coming to you (Lesley: I agree) that support that.

Lesley Logan 24:26
I agree. I think like, a) you can put yourself in the rooms, like you put yourself also in a writing group you were writing before this group, but have you … (Roxy: It fell into my lap, actually.) And that’s because you were already out there writing like, it probably wouldn’t have (Roxy: Right) fallen into your lap if you were just hanging out, wanting to be a writer.

Roxy Menzies 24:42
No, not at all. And to be honest, I mean, I say that it kind of fell into my lap, but there are very few things I have like, because some people will look at the amount of writing I’ve done and just be like, “Wow, like, how did you do that?” And it’s so much and I go listen. I am a person, I have had to almost push for everything. I do the following up, I check in. I mean, I was in touch with Pilates Anytime, from the first time talking to them about about writing. It was a full year till something was actually published under them. (Lesley: Thank you for saying that.) You know, so things take time. And it doesn’t mean I was added every single day because I had other things going on, you (Lesley: Yeah) know, but, you know, a couple months later, and I was just like, “Hey, you know, checking in. Hey, what about writing for you da da da.” And I’ve done that with so many things. That Balance Body blog, the conception of that was a year ago until it actually came out. And that was like finding the right place for it to be published. So so I don’t want anybody to think that that there isn’t work involved. There really is. (Lesley: Yeah) There is. And it’s like you said, it’s the preparation meets opportunity. (Lesley: Yeah) You know. (Lesley: Yeah) And you put things out there, but sometimes it does take time.

Lesley Logan 26:02
Ah, thank you for sharing this these both those stories, because it is true. I think people go, “Oh, how to rock to get it. She must have just asked and then she got it.” Nope. There’s like waiting for crickets. I have to had to follow up with certain companies seven times, like, “Hey, just fallen back on this. Get back on the top of the thing.” Like, and, you know, also, we talked about this before we hit record. But I had told Roxy, I’m so excited. I’m really excited. I had asked someone to be on this podcast, and they didn’t respond. And I actually didn’t even realize that they didn’t respond until I went to ask him again. But I thought I was asking, I was asking but I guess I had, I had had her on my like dream list from when I was launching. And just so y’all know, when you’re launching a podcast, the big names don’t want to be on you unless you’re a big name already. Because why (Roxy: Yeah) there’s no audience to take from, there’s no audience to glean from so you have to kind of earn your way to a place where you can get these people to like pay attention to you. That’s why, hello, aka reviews matter people. (Lesley and Roxy laughs) So, their publicist is looking. So um, so anyways, I was, I was like, “Okay, I’m going to ask her again. We’re headed over 100 episodes and asked her.” And so I send the DM and then I after I hit send, I saw I saw that we’d asked her the first time and she didn’t respond. And I was like, “Oh, my God, maybe I should take it down.” And then I was like, “No, I’m gonna leave it up.” And you know what? She responded with a ‘Yes’, that was a year long, yes, I waited for. And you have to follow up. I mean, I think a lot of people think that if somebody doesn’t respond or says no, it’s never. And it’s like, you just don’t know when they, when what you have to say, aligns with what they have going on.

Roxy Menzies 27:42
Yeah, definitely. There’s so many different things and sometimes messages, emails, they just fall through the cracks. (Lesley: Oh, I’m notorious for deleting emails.) You forget you go back in and you’re like, “Hey, oh right, I forgot about that.” I mean, people have so much going on as well. (Lesley: Right) I mean, even relates to business. I mean, I don’t know how many how many sales points are there now? Like you have to …

Lesley Logan 28:04
Oh, yeah, it was I read it. I heard it the other day. It’s over 20, now. Girl, it’s over 20. So what she means by that is, you pre pandemic was 7 to 17 touch points before somebody would click doesn’t mean they buy, it means they click and they know this from ads. It’s like how many times does someone have to see an ad before they click on it 7 to 17. It is over 20 now. It is in there’s just so much going on. And it’s so easy for someone opened up an email their kid to tug on their shirt, there, they spill their coffee, then they didn’t even read the email, then they go to open their email, it’s gone. It’s already unread. So worth the following up, worth of following up. Okay, let’s talk really quick because I am obsessed with your approach to things. And I’ve been in awe and read. I’ve read every blog that has ever been shared by you, to me, and I love your words. And I’m all I always find myself going, “Yes, yes.” So I … (Roxy: You’re the best cheerleader ever) (Roxy laughs) Oh, I like, I’m like, “Yes.” Well, especially, we’ll put the link to the the recent core article you wrote. Because I’m I’m really am obsessed with it.

Roxy Menzies 29:11
I think part two is out today, actually. (Lesley: Oh, great.) So as we speak, it’s been it’s been put up.

Lesley Logan 29:16
Great, because then when this airs, we have both links in it. That’s amazing. So um, so I think it was … I have we had talked about you doing a course a lot for a while. And there was like, you know, it was (Roxy: Yeah) it was not a no, but it was like, “Okay, I’ll think about it.” And I was like, … (Lesley laughs)

Roxy Menzies 29:33
That’s how the best things have happened. I mean, this studio, I’m working at downtown. It was the same thing. This girl used to dance with. She sent me a DM. She said, “Are you ready to start teaching?” This was back in late November, early December. And that I mean talk about snob. I was kind of like, “Hmm. I don’t know but I’ll check it out.” (Lesley and Roxy laughs) And then it was the weirdest onboarding process and I love this place. Like it feels like home and my husband, I haven’t said because you never say that about any place in studio. So it’s, it’s, yeah, I mean, things can kind of pop up. And I remember when you you mentioned that to me, and I think Jazz was really small at the time. (Lesley: Yeah) I don’t even think she was quite yet a year. And I was kind of like, “Yeah, maybe blah, blah, blah.” But you planted the seed. That’s the point. (Lesley: Yeah) And then things I started thinking about, “Oh, well, what could that be? That’d be interesting.” And then I was getting all these questions in regards to writing. So I was like, “Oh, this could be something interesting.” And then it kind of grew from there. But yeah, but I mean, that also took time, right?

Lesley Logan 30:38
Took time, it took a long time, I think it was almost a year as well. And so y’all we’ll put it in the notes but if you are, if you’re listening to this, you’re like, “Oh, I wanted to write. Oh, that’s I thought about that.” Roxy actually created a course for Profitable Pilates, which is our fitness business coaching company. And it is, I have to say like, first of all, I think it puts my courses to shame, it is so thorough, it is so robust. It is incredible how helpful and supportive it is, for people who are wanting to write, you really thought of a lot of things that I didn’t even think you would like even think to ask you to include. And I’m really grateful, because it’s so funny. On the last day, we did a promo for everyone, just as like a launch promo, and it’s a very affordable course. So you can just go get it. But on the last day of that promo Pilates nerd had read, had been a post, did you see this comic post? (Roxy: Oh …) It was like a guy who looks like he probably has never worked out just like hanging out in a chair. And he’s like, to… like all tired. And he’s like, “Oh, I’m writing, ah, wellness article.” (Lesley and Roxy laughs) You know. And, and the whole idea was like, “We need people, too who are in wellness to write wellness articles.” And that’s why your course exists. Because so many of us get upset by the articles we see, you know, case in point, and somebody texted me last week, like, “What’s this?” And I was like, “Why don’t you just contact the writer and of the at the newspaper and say, ‘Hey, have you ever thought about interviewing someone who actually teaches?'” Like, (Roxy: Right) you know, because (Roxy: Excuse me) they’re only there, the articles that are out there are from the people who pitch them, they can’t pitch, they can’t, they can’t publish articles that don’t exist and aren’t being pitched to them. And so I really am grateful for the course that you have, because as you …

Roxy Menzies 32:28
You are so right about that, because since since this, I’ve joined a couple of like freelance writing groups. And I’ve seen job opportunities come up, I mean, in things that I mean, all kinds of subjects. And, and there are writers out there, I mean, they, they have no experience in it nothing. And they’re just like, “Oh, I can write about that.” There was one that really bothered me, because cuz she was specifically looking for diversity and inclusion, paper and writing. And that should literally be people that are (Lesley: Yeah) that are experienced and, and know about that work and (Lesley: Yeah) all kinds of people from the woodworks, like, “Oh, I can write, I can write.” Because they’re just looking for writing gigs. So they just figure they can research whatever. (Lesley: Yeah) And, and it can come up.

Lesley Logan 33:17
Yeah, and you know, that’s the difference. I mean, I can read article, and know, like, “This person has never done it before. They don’t know.” Like I can, (Roxy: Yeah) because I am in the wellness industry, or the business industry. But people who are not are gonna read the article. And they’re gonna go, “Oh, that’s, that’s the yoga and Pilates. The difference is breathing.” And it’s like, ah huh, it’s a little bit more complex on that. (Lesley laughs) (Roxy: Definitely) Well, y’all …

Roxy Menzies 33:45
I’m actually writing something about Gyrotonic. And that’s taken a lot. I’ve been pushing for that for a while, because I’m like, “Hey, you know, everybody knows about Pilates and yoga. Let’s try and cover some other modalities as well.” (Lesley: Yeah) That’s finally coming. So again, that’s I pushed for that, kept reminding. Hey, you know.

Lesley Logan 34:00
Okay, so I feel like the common theme is following up and patience. (Roxy laughs) So (Roxy: Yeah) so were you always just because I’m curious now. Were you always a patient person? Or did you learn that through this career that you’ve created? Or is it in the last …

Roxy Menzies 34:19
… I wouldn’t use the word patience. I would not use the word patience. (Lesley: Okay) And I’m sure my husband be like, “She is not patient at all.” (Lesley and Roxy laughs)

Lesley Logan 34:27
You’re persistent then.

Roxy Menzies 34:29
Yeah, persistent would be a better word. (Lesley: Okay) I mean, there are some things I just like you feel called to do. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, like, like, even with this one that came out with Balance Body. I pitched it to another big Pilates place. And it didn’t go like like myself and the editor. We’re just on very different trajectories. So then I was able to like I checked in with people I was like, “Anybody connected to Balance Body. I think that would be a great company to to get this piece out with.” And, and yeah, and it took some time to get through the channels and get in and pitch this idea. And then they were like, “Oh, we love it, we think it would be great actually.” And for it to go. So it’s really yeah, I would say I’m more driven and (Lesley: Yeah) persistent than anything else. I mean, they’re there obviously, for some things, there comes a point where, you know, you have to stop or whatnot. (Lesley: And you just know … feeling?) Like, I don’t, I don’t call them every single day or anything like that. But I will, I will ask, I think if you don’t ask, it won’t happen. You have to be willing to ask (Lesley: Brilliant) and put yourself out there.

Lesley Logan 35:43
So so then, so then people are gonna want to know, how about the rejection? Like, how often does that happen? How does it hurt? Do you just move on to the next thing, because it’s part of the gig. Like, I mean, rejection …

Roxy Menzies 35:54
Well, it happens all the time. And also, you know, I’m also coming from being a dancer. So I mean (Lesley: Yeah, you’re used to be.) … talk about rejection. (Roxy laughs)

Lesley Logan 36:04
That’s how they indoctrinate you with rejection. And that because I’m in a group with a girl who’s a dancer, she’s like, “Rejection?” She’s like, “You get rejected for being you.” That’s like, it’s like, (Roxy: Oh, totally) at least with your writing you can go, “Well, it’s a blog post is not actually me.” But like with dancing. It’s like, “hmm, I don’t like that your hair …”

Roxy Menzies 36:21
You’re too tall. You’re this, you’re that. Yeah. So rejection, but does it hurt? Of course, it’s still, it’s still, sometimes it’ll sting. And it depends, I think on on so many different factors, like what else is going on? Like, you know, “I’ve I’ve been sleeping enough? Am I sort of grounded?” And, you know, because if you’re in a in a pretty decent place, you can handle rejection a lot better. But I’m also somebody who I will feel the feels, I will give my ego a moment to have its little temper tantrum, not in public. You know, like off to the side privately or I talked to a friend and I’m just like, “Oh, my gosh, blah, blah, blah.” I have that moment and then I move on.

Lesley Logan 37:02
Yeah, (Roxy: You know) I think that is, I don’t think enough people allow themselves to feel the feels like and I think that you, you have to because all the studies have been like, you know, there’s the body keeps score, there’s a book called Burnout, like keeping all of that inside and just acting like it doesn’t bother you is also the opposite. And, you know, I am I’m hoping to get this person someday I want who wrote the book on rejection on the pod, because fear of rejection is real. But also something he said is like, you will be rejected more times in life than you will not. Like it’s just part of life. You like, (Roxy: That’s true) it’s impossible for you to be rejected less than not, because there’s only so much time in the day for you to do things.

Roxy Menzies 37:46
Well, yeah, that’s true. That’s true. And then you can usually, I don’t know, I like once I passed the little ego part, there’s usually the moment where you can find the positive in it, or sometimes it’s really a blessing in disguise. Like, there have been things where something didn’t work out, and it bummed me out, or, you know, or somebody ghosted me about a possible job. And I was like, “What happened?” Like I still I don’t understand and it was a blessing, because I thought if I did work with that person, that would have been a nightmare. (Lesley: Right) You know, so sometimes you have to, you have to trust in how, in how some things end up. There’s always gonna be other doors that, that open. You but you still have to keep putting yourself out there and being driven. And when I was when I first came back in 2019, I was pregnant, I was just like, “I’m gonna audition for every pregnant thing out there.” You know, before I give birth, thinking that there would be a ton of jobs there was literally because I didn’t have an agent. There was literally like three pregnant jobs that came up in the span of four months that I booked the last one. And, and it was just nuts. And again, you wouldn’t get it you know, you feel rejected, but I remember listening to I don’t know, it was some podcasts about this actress and she had said that she’s pretty well known. She’s not like, like, you know, one of the Avengers (Lesley: Yeah) like known but she’s like a really well known actress. I can’t remember her name right now. But she had said that when she started auditioning her grandmother who did acting had said to her that it takes 60 auditions before you book one. (Lesley: Wow) Yeah, so she, so she literally kept score. And even her agent was like, “How are you still here? Like all these other actors and actresses given up by now?” She goes, “Because my grandma told me it would take 60.” And I think she said it was in the 50s like, audition that she finally booked this role that jump started her career.

Lesley Logan 39:52
Yeah, it is. I think you’re I think the theme and it’ll be in the recap is like persistence. This is a persi… like that it is the key to anything because also, it goes with like Seth Godin – The Dip, right? In every career, there is a dip where like a bunch of people bow out, they quit, they get out of the game. If you can get through that, you get to the other side, and there’s very few people. And so for (Roxy: Right) by her 50th audition, there’s very few people who’ve kept going. And so now she’s auditioning against a few people with experience in auditioning that (Roxy: Right) are good enough to get it, you know, and I think Brad has his like 200 rejections, he’s like, really like, he doesn’t he doesn’t he doesn’t mind a rejection because he’s like, “Okay, that’s one down. That’s one down.” He’s gotta go. (Roxy: Right. He’s keeping a tally.) Yeah, yeah. And I think like, if we can maybe the moral for everyone is like, maybe you have to get 60 rejections before you get one. But like, so (Roxy: yeah) count them and go, “Okay, that’s, I’m getting closer. I’m getting closer. I’m getting closer.”

Roxy Menzies 40:54
I would always say to though, I mean, have other things going on as well. Like, I’m somebody who was never put all your eggs in one basket. My problem would be I probably have too many baskets. (Lesley laughs) I’m working on like narrowing the basket.

Lesley Logan 41:08
You know, I understand that I had to narrow … a whole team that like, “You have to narrow down your baskets and here is an ideas parking lot.” (Lesley laughs) And it’s I’m very grateful. Like I’m very grateful for those things because they have allowed me to do what I’m doing now. Roxy, you are just amazing. Y’all we’re gonna come back in just a second. But Roxy’s course is available on Profitable Pilates, we’ll put the link below. When you buy that course, not only do we pay our course contributor, you also we donate a percentage of every sale to the Cupcake Girls Organization, which is actually helping stop human trafficking and also allow sex workers to have rights. So I’m really excited about what they are doing. They’re incredible. Alright, Roxy, where can people find you? Where can they read your writing, stalk you, hire you for work? What’s going on?

Roxy Menzies 41:55
All right. All right. Well, you can start with my website, which is my name, roxymenzies.com. I have my full writing portfolio on there. And it’s, as everyone knows, a website is a work in progress. So it’s constantly being like updating and adding things in. And you can also find me on Instagram at @roxyspiral. And it’s a r o x, y. (Lesley: Yeah) I can’t stand that are r o x i e, personally … It’s r o x y. And please check out Wednesdays because I do Writing Tip Wednesdays.

Lesley Logan 42:25
I love your Writing Tip Wednesdays. I’m so glad you started that. And it’s I mean, you’ve been doing it for several weeks. And by the time this comes out, it’ll be you know, probably a couple months, but it’s, I am reminded of something like, “Oh, yeah, that that’s great.” Like, I love it. So it’s sometimes it’s a confidence builder, sometimes the lightning and you’re just wonderful, and generous. And and …

Roxy Menzies 42:44
Thank you. You too, my goodness.

Lesley Logan 42:46
Thank you. We try. We’re trying every day like, how do we help more people that just be successful what they want to do, and I’m grateful for you being on this podcast. Before I let you go though, you must. I know we’ve talked a lot about things but just to wrap it up in case people do the TDLR whatever. TLDR – too long, didn’t read and they just swipe till the end. BE IT action items – bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?

Roxy Menzies 43:13
It’s gonna be a real shocker, write it down. (Lesley: ooh) Right? I mean, there are studies out there that show once you write something down, it has a higher chance of being achieved. Plus, it creates more bandwidth in your in your head. So that would be my number one thing, whatever it is that you want to be or whatever your dreams or goals, write it down and keep it somewhere. You know, for everyone, it will be different. If you’re if you’re a visual person, you need to see it. That would be the one thing I would say. And of course, it’s coming from a writing perspective. (Lesley: Yeah) And other than that, I would say just getting really clear on your ‘why’ and your ‘what’. Like, ‘what is it that you really want’ and ‘why do you want it’ and be and know that it can change and it will change and allow it to change, periodically.

Lesley Logan 44:10
Yeah, yes. That’s the … allow it to change is so key. Roxy, you are a wonderful person. I know I said that. But I gotta say it again before I wrap this up. Now please check her out. Follow on Instagram. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Screenshots this episode, tag @roxyspiral, tag the @be_it_pod with your favorite takeaways. Do yourself a favor if you have a friend who you’re like, “Oh my gosh, they need to hear this.” Text it to them. You know, a lot of things in my life have changed because someone sent me a podcast and it’s like, “Oh, that’s exactly what I need to hear today.” And you don’t even what we often think we have to buy people gifts or do things like this or sit down have confident you could just send them a podcast episode. And rate and review the podcast so more people hear about it. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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