Shownotes

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In this episode you will learn about:

• How hitting walls helps transform us into the people we are supposed to be
• What’s the significance of 208?
• How we collapse the gender gap
• Where you can find resources to increase finance and money knowledge
• Check the data of how far you have come and how you want to feel moving forward
• The reflection of worth in your aspirations
• Making your worth reflected back in what you’re doing
• Answer the question: I am the type of person who….
• What’s stopping women from building wealth
• How money is used as energy in your biz

References/Links:

• Website: https://www.allowlist.vip/

Transcript

INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Alright, loves. So this episode, I’m really, truly grateful for our guest to be on because I have been wanting to talk more about money, money mindset building wealth. there’s so much more I can go into this topic. So if you really love this topic, I do want to hear from you. You can go to the beitpod.com/tellme and fill out the survey and let us know or you can just DM me. But if you really are loving this topic, and if money is keeping you from being it till you see it, then we need to talk about it more. That’s what this podcast is for. It’s just bringing on experts that can help you be it till you see it. And so besides inspiring stories, I think it’s just really important for you to hear information that helps you get out of your own way. And the reality is, is I talk a lot about this a lot with my Agency members, my coaching members, is that money is energy. And as a teacher, you are giving so much energy to your clients. You are pouring into them making sure that they get all the right exercises for their body. And then oftentimes under valuing yourself and under earning. And so therefore, people are paying you what you said, but you’re not actually getting the energy back here because it doesn’t it’s not equal. They can’t teach you by the way. I mean, so like they have to pay you for the energy so that you can keep doing what you’re doing. And if you are under charging, then of course you’re going to reach burnout, and of course exhaustion or just the resentfulness of like, people just not valuing you, but you’re not giving them the opportunity to do that. So I’m really hope as you listen through this interview, as Stef and I have what I hope is a conversation that helps you understand not only wealth, why you need it, and how like things you could be doing right now to help you with those thoughts with that, with that mindset, and with the actual action steps to building it. I really hope you get all those. So bring out your notepad, this is gonna be one you want to save. I know I I actually like wrote notes, I you know, I can’t read my writing. So I’m gonna have to re listen to see what notes I wrote down. But there’s so many great books, you’re gonna just like build your book list with this. And you’re also gonna get some great quotes that you can remind yourself of just how fucking worthy you are. You are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it, you’re it. And if we do not make sure that you are getting paid the money you need to get paid, then how do we keep you showing up the next day? Like let’s just be real, I don’t care how amazing of a human you are. If you’re not getting the energy repayment back, it’s going to be really hard on those tough days to show up and do the thing that you know you’re on this planet to do. And when you make money. Right. One of the coaches that I work with Chris Harder. He says “When good people make good money, they do great things.” … Like please remember that because if you are feeling guilty around the money that you’re making, we have to shift that because you making good money and then putting it towards the things that matter the most to you. I know for a fact you’re going to benefit the people around you. I know not a single person listening to this podcast is a selfish asshole who’s just going to hoard it all for themselves. No, you wouldn’t listen to this, you would not there’s no way you listen to this because I’m all about abundance and that is not being abundant, like hoarding. Right. So, I really hope that this conversation, enlightens you, inspires you, helps you take action. And may we all be part of collapsing this massive gap in women having equal wealth to men. So, Stef Caldwell is our guest this week, take a listen and then please subscribe to her podcast because she’s got a really awesome podcast that I’ll let her tell you all about in this episode.

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Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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EPISODE

Lesley Logan
Okay, Be It listeners. So you know how I say, “Perfect is boring.” It really, really is and it’s also hilarious and embarrassing sometimes when you do it right in front of someone you’re so excited to talk about. And I share all this because Stef Caldwell’s here, and we got to talking and we got so excited. And then I looked at him as like, “You know, something doesn’t feel right. Something’s wrong. Oh, I didn’t hit record.” And I share that with you before I introduce Stef Caldwell. Well, because you’re gonna make mistakes, you’re gonna make mistakes. And you’re gonna be like, “Oh, my God red in the face.” And you know what I say just make them more often and it’s really les… that’s uncomfortable. So Stef Caldwell, is someone I had to have on the show and she’s already heard. And now you’re hearing. I was listening to her on the Laurie Harders podcast, I was getting in the shower. And I made the podcast stay on just on full blast. And I was agreeing with everything, loving everything, taking notes. And then I DM her. I was like, “You have to be on my show.” I have to have you on here. And so Stef Caldwell, you are you are amazing at helping build women, helping women build wealth. And I actually want you to share everyone who you are and why you rock it that.

Stef Caldwell
Well, seriously, I’m so excited to be here. And for the listener, I mean like failure, failure of messing up, starting over. That is the point like if you think the point of any of this is anything different than that than the point that you think it is, is wrong. (Lesley: Yeah) So hello, everybody, I’m Stef Caldwell, Personal Development Author, Angel Investor, Tech Startup Operator and I like to say fun-haver because again, like you only live once. What is the point of any of this if it’s not a total freakin blast along the way.

Lesley Logan
I, you know, you’re exactly right. And thank you for also saying that because it’s like, I think I know that everyone listening to this and maybe even I don’t know about you. But for me, I grew up everything had to be perfect before I could even get started like it just had to be like this. And that is the opposite of having fun. You cannot (Stef: Absolutely.) you cannot perfect having the fun time. So you can’t live in both places. So I’ve just I’m grateful for that. And also, what is your what’s your favorite way to have fun?

Stef Caldwell
Oh my gosh. I mean, I love a good hike with a girlfriend. I love a good boating day. I love, like last night I went saw Joe Rogan stand up. I like I would see stand up every night if if I could (Lesley:same) laughing like just laughing for the sake of laughing and like scewing around. I was listening to another podcaster or some gal and she’s like, “Never lose the art of just screwing off. Just to screw off.” And like I that’s you know what I typically do on a Sunday when I’m not doing this.

Lesley Logan
Well, first of all, I love that. Second, I would also I wanted to be in stand up. I really like thought like, “Oh my God, that’s the thing I should be doing.” But (Stef: Yeah) I can’t stay up past 10 o’clock if like I really can’t. I have like really try and there’s occasional moments where it happens and like, “Wow, see, I could do it.” I can’t like I need to be a lunchtime comedian like people who want to be like 2 pm. (Lesley and Stef laughs)

Stef Caldwell
Can we normalize lunchtime comedians, (Lesley: Yes) because I will share this. When I was early in my career, I had read that learning improv and stand up can be really good for a sales career. So I went and I we’ve got in Chicago, this school called Second City, Tina Fey trained there. You know, I think like Bill Murray trained there, right, like notable comics have trained there. And went took lessons and everything was so late at night. I was like, “This crew is not going to be for me. I like bedtime by eight.” You know, this is just (Lesley: Yeah) kind of the table this one for future life.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. No, same. So like, that’s what happened. I was in a comedy class and I literally stopped going because I was like, I am falling asleep driving home like this (Stef: Right, right.) is not working for me. (Stef: Same.) So since we’re not actually professional comedians, (Stef: Yeah) because clearly, we weren’t born with that, that body clock. So when you’re not ha… like the times that you are not having like the fun or hiking with a girlfriend like hopefully your work, it’s fun. But what are you doing because you got your prof… your profes… Oh, my God. Hello, Lesley, Personal Development Author, like what made you get into these things and what are you doing on your daily basis?

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, yeah. So as in terms of my career, I have always worked in tech startups. And that’s been, you know, a multi decade journey doing everything from selling products to marketing products, to working directly with customers to keep them around, to use those products to actually building the products themselves. And about six years ago, I woke up in a tech startup days after I didn’t get this promotion that I had raised my hand for. And, of course, you know, like, if you work in tech startups, like they are traditionally run by white men and there’s nothing wrong with my white men. I love them. I’ve got two white men brothers and a white dad. But I was like, “You got to be kidding me.” Like the glass ceiling that everybody told me about. I finally ran smack into it and this really, really sucks and so I remember at the time, you know, reading reading some some quote that like, in terms of like, overall gender equality were 208 years away from like, when women will be equal with men. And I was just livid. (Lesley: Yeah) I was like, “What?” And so it really just set me on this journey to be the best that I could be to turn around and help other women, you know, be the best that they could be, and ultimately to, to write a personal development book while still kind of maintaining my career in technology, because I believe that women have a space there and, and that there’s a lot we can do if we continue to participate in that environment.

Lesley Logan
Okay, so first, what’s the book called? So, I can go read it..

Stef Caldwell
Yeah. The book is called ManifestHer. And there’s a subtitle, which the essence of it is like, helping young women manifest their biggest dreams and lives.

Lesley Logan
I love that. I, you know, people hearing the part where you didn’t get the promotion could get upset at that. And then there’s like, obviously, like the looking back up, like, at least for me, I’m like, thank goodness, you didn’t, because it made you go read this thing and go, “What the fuck like, like, I’m here.” You know what I mean? Like, the frustration of that is what really put you on the path to where you are right now. And like the things that you’re doing today. And so like, while I wish for you to always have the success you want, like, there’s something about hitting those walls that really helped us become who we’re supposed to be. (Stef: Yeah.) So for the, for the person who’s listening to like, like, when you hear that number, 208 years, it feels like, it just it kind of can feel like an overwhelming and a little bit debilitating, like, what are, how are we supposed to get to 208 years to be now. (Stef: Yeah, yeah. I mean …) I don’t want to wait to 208 years. I’m not gonna live that long.

Stef Caldwell
Literally, I think every single day, how do we collapse that. And there’s so many ways, I think the easiest ways are like looking inside of ourselves, and really getting a sense for our worth. And what that translates to in terms of our hourly rate, or annual salaries, and making sure that the worth that we feel is the worth that’s reflected in the paychecks that we are, you know, either getting from our employers or getting, you know, by building building our businesses. I think the second thing that you can do is take that wealth and instead of spending it or giving it away is investing in it, or investing in your future investing in the markets. I joke oftentimes that like we can go and we can blow you know, 200 bucks at Target. But do you own $200 worth of target stock? My guess is that if you put the same amount of money that you’re gonna go blow your favorite publicly traded company into their stock, that you would feel, feel and realize gains over time. And that’s like a really specific example, don’t go invest in target stock. There’s definitely better mechanisms for you …

Lesley Logan
Don’t take stock advice from a podcast. (Stef: Right, right.) But particular with ones that we don’t know what day you’re listening to this. But okay, so first of all, like I’m like, yes. Okay, invest and then it’s like, right, how, like, what, like, how do you know which, like, how, like, what’s the first step to like doing that? Because I think that that’s totally wise, because then every time you go and shop at said, Target, you are at least like benefiting your personal interests. But um, for the person who’s like, “Yeah, but I don’t actually even know how to do that.” Like, where do they need to go to learn? Is there a class there supposed to take?

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, I mean, there certainly are classes that you can take, I think it just starts by getting curious. Asking, you know, “For every dollar that I’m earning, how can I put this dollar to work for me.” And you’ll find there’s so many different thought leaders in the space that I’ve like, looked to over the course of my financial journey from I remember, like getting out of college, and like Suze Orman was like, the person that I’ve admired, recommended. And she’s just like a women’s kind of like, personal development meets money, money, you know, mindset guru, then there’s like the Jen Sincero of the world that will really help you step into mindset, there’s the Tony Robbins of the world that will help you, you know, build kind of some structure around how to treat and handle your wealth. And then there’s also like people that you can pay that literally for a living can help you maximize your total earning potential over the course of your life.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I highly recommend it. And also, like, Suze Orman helped me like, actually get out of credit card debt from after college, because like, who was charging her books on credit cards, that’d be me. I was like, “I need this book for this class.” And so I like read her a little note about, like, how to pay off your credit cards faster. And it actually worked. Like it was like, take pay off the smallest one and then go on to the biggest one, you’ll have more money. And I was like, “Oh.” But I, I know that, you know, we’re all I was often raised, like, just save the money and don’t spend it and I love that you follow that up with like, invest it, because (Stef: Yeah) it’s not about not buying the lattes, ladies. It’s like, it’s like, you know, using that money to go work for you. (Stef: Yeah) It’s very different than just like holding on to it and not doing anything with it.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah. So I mean, there’s, there’s stats out there and I might butcher these a little bit, but we’ll give you guys the essence. So right now, let’s say you got $100 in a bank account inflation’s at like 9% so that means you know you’re from today. If that $100 is worth $90, you can put that in the markets and the markets, you know, don’t don’t you know, generate these returns always. But let’s say that you generate it that same 9%. Now you have $109, or, you know, whatever the math on (Lesley: Yeah) that is. It’s really important to be thinking about, like, by keeping this just as cash in the bank. Am I gaining money or am I losing money? And if you lose money every single year, for a lifetime, you’re gonna wake up in a much different spot than if you gain money every single year for a lifetime.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, yeah. So I want to go back to what you were saying earlier, and there was a couple things you talked about there was investing. There’s also your book ManifestHer. (Stef: Yeah) So um, and then there’s a 208 years we’re trying to collapse. There’s a lot of things that you’re doing and which I’m really obs… I’m obsessed with. When it comes to when it came to like writing your book and helping women manifest. What was the difference between like, just manifestation? Maybe this is in your book and like act… like the action towards getting the thing that you’re manifesting? Is there steps for that? What do you normally do for that?

Stef Caldwell
Yeah. When I was graduating from undergrad, I remember waking up and for my entire life, I’ve been an athlete and being absolutely terrified about life after college, because all of my identity was tied up in like, the environment that is like the academic world. And this is so random, but my then boyfriend now husband bought me a purple Zippy from Lululemon. And I was like, “What is this Lululemon company?” Right. Like, at the time, I’d only wore Nike. And anyway, I went to their website, and I found this goal setting program manifestation program that they had at the time. And what they recommend you do in this program is a few things. First, is take stock of your life as it was 10 years ago, and show yourself, remind yourself how much growth you’ve experienced over the course of a decade. And it’s actually mind blowing when you do that exercise. And then the second is to project out your life 10 years and envision yourself in the environment that you most desire to be in, if you could create everything in your life that you wanted. And again, you’re reminding yourself of all the growth you’ve experienced in the past 10 years can really like an uninhibited you from envisioning where you could be in the next 10 years.

Lesley Logan
This is amazing. This is so cool. Because, you know, so many people are like, “Okay, what do I want to be in the next 10 years?” And that’s like, I don’t know, like, depending on the day, you might be like, I know where exactly where I’ll be.” (Stef: Right) And they’re like, “Everything is against me, I don’t trust me right now.” But to actually take the data of how far you’ve come in the last 10 years, you probably wouldn’t even have believed that you’d be where you are now 10 years ago. (Stef: Yeah) So that is really cool Stef. I am going to do this homework assignment when we’re done.

Stef Caldwell
Well, let me let me raise you one. (Lesley: Okay.) So when they talk about the next 10 years, it can be really, really challenging to be like, this will be the job. And this will be the salary. And this will be you know where my house is like your address. But it’s a lot easier when you abstract out that specifics, right. This is how I want to feel in my career, this is how I want to feel in my home, these are the types of things that I envision. And so they would recommend, and this is what I recommend in the book is that you kind of break down your life into three component parts, your personal life, so the relationships that you have, your health, you know, like literally your being and like how you’re treating your body and your career, which I think you know, translates directly to financial, and then reverse engineer where you want to be when you’re envisioning that 10 year you to where you need to be in five years to be on track, or you need to be in one year to be on track. And then my recommendation is like, keep pulling that back. What could you do in the next 30 days? What could you do tomorrow, and then you end up with a roadmap for everything that you need to accomplish in order to manifest that life.

Lesley Logan
I love that. I love that a lot. I I have done this. Well, this is how I do all my goals. Everything is a reverse reverse roadmap, something because I used to take a maze and like start at the end and like work my way backwards. I just my dad says is cheating. (Stef: Which is so smart. I love that.) Thank you. And he’s like, you’re, they’re cheating. I’m like, why wouldn’t you be …

Stef Caldwell
Right. You’re like “No dad. I’m just a manifester. Okay”?

Lesley Logan
I know it is preparing me for this. But it is true when you do it like that. It does feel like more tangible. And you can actually you can’t, what it does make you do as you can’t go, I don’t know how to do that. I’m like, I’ve get to be stuck, you actually do know the next action step you can take and so it helps you like kind of get that ball rolling and get out of your own way. Sometimes, you know, because I think we can be the first person in our own way before other obstacles show up.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah. And I think oftentimes, like the first step is a conversation. Or it’s like a Google search, right? It’s the most simple things.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, yeah. Thank you for … because it is it shouldn’t be that simple. If your first step is not as simple as a Google search or conversation, you can break it down. Another a little bit, everyone. (Stef: Exactly.) Okay. you mentioned women, their you said ‘worth’ and making sure that like, if they’re working for themselves, or they’re working for someone like is their worth reflected in what, they’re what they’re getting back. I feel like, at least in the communities that I’m running, a lot of women can have a day where they feel like they are definitely worthy. And then they feel guilty of the work that they’re demanding of that they make. Right? How do we, I feel like that is a big step that we need to figure out if we want to collapse the 208 year situation that we’re in, because if like, when I coach, the male teachers, I coach, they have no problems. Like, I’m like, oh, yeah, that they want to make this much no problem. And they go ask, like, they don’t actually ever feel guilty about that. And other people, like when I coach women, they’re like, I know about, like, one of my clients gonna say, like, if I can’t like that, like, I don’t know why we’re so concerned. Am I making sense? So like, what is it that you found and what can we do as women to kind of get the guilt and the worth to not be competing against each other?

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, I think it’s, I mean, it’s challenging, it’s really challenging to step into the version of you that can demand that, because there’s a lot of emotion and complexity tied up with money. So oftentimes, when I feel like emotionally tied to a situation, I try to be more objective, literally take a step back and look at the skills that you have, and how much the market pays for those skills, and how good you are at those skills. And that will show you that you’re either on the bottom side of that market, or the top side of the market. And my guess is, if you’re listening to this podcast, you really give a crap, you’re probably doing a ton of self work, you create tremendous value for the people that you work with the organizations that you work in. And the the work that you do reflects that. And so, why why conflate how you feel about accepting money with the objective reality of your worth being being more and, and then try to expand your container to be able to receive that. And now that’s, that’s kind of it. I don’t know how useful that is for somebody, but that’s what’s worked for me.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, I think like when you said, expand your container, it’s almost like I had to like, I’m a visual person. So I like this close, like, think about like closing your eyes and like, like allowing yourself to be big enough to have to receive all of that. And I (Stef: Yeah) think sometimes we are so used to playing small, we’ve made our container so small that it gets filled up really quick before we’ve reached our worth.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, yeah. James Clear, wrote a great book, Atomic Habits. And there’s something that he says in the book that has really stuck with me, and that I constantly find myself going back to, and it’s, I’m the type of person who, and then fill in the blank at the end of that. And I think it’s like, I’m the type of person who makes half a million dollars a year or a million dollars a year, or $10 million per year. And then like, again, like envisioning and stepping into, like, who would I have to be to actually be able to receive $10 million a year? Like, what, like, I’d probably have to be a different person. Like, that’s not my income level. Um, but again, like just going through those mental exercises, like who would I have to become to be able to receive in that capacity can really help you figure out like, where you need to do the work to be able to receive in that capacity?

Lesley Logan
Yeah, that couldn’t be more be it till you see it if I you know, if I told you to say that. (Lesley and Stef laughs) But you know, what if so, I was talking to one of my friends who owns a business in town, and I was going to teach a workshop for her. And I just said to her, “I love you, I, I’m saying no, right now. And it’s not you. It’s just I need some more time to be with myself.” And I said, and I ran into her person, I said, “Thank you for understanding most people be like, oh, when can you do it?” And she just was like, “No problem.” That’s so amazing. And she said, “Lesley, she’s like, I am working on something right now. And so you saying that this gave me more time to work on that thing.” But what it was, and this is where I’m gonna get your point is writing down like the person you want to be or the thing you want to have, and then making sure that the next thing that you write down or the next thing you think, isn’t conflicting with that, so who like I’m the type of person makes half million dollars. The next thing is, like, you said, like, what would I have to do to to be someone who can make a half million dollars to someone who makes a half million dollars? And she says, oftentimes, we write down like, but I don’t have that and I have a job that only pays me $115,000. You know, like, we start to like, we erode the manifest that we erode the vision and really what it’s mostly is like, okay, if I may make a half million dollars, what is the person what makes a half million dollars do in the morning? Where does a person who makes half a million dollars go to work? Where do they work, right, like, (Stef: Yeah) that kind of thing. And so I I have been working on that, because I stopped doing one of my morning routines of journaling, because I was busy. I convinced myself, we’re so good at this, even those of us who have like a really strong morning routine can convince ourselves like, I need that extra 15 minutes. And I remember I was at the bank yesterday. And as it was a little frustrating thing to do at the bank. And I was like, you know, people who don’t have problems at the bank, probably also make time for journaling. And they don’t feel guilty about it. And they don’t like all these things, like as I made up my own version of it, but like, it’s, we keep waiting until we have the thing to be the person want to be as opposed to like, who is that person and what are they have to do? And how do we add that in right now. And maybe you only are making $115,000. But if you start taking the steps that a half million dollar person is doing, you can have that life sooner. (Stef: Yeah, yeah.) You can have that million dollar life and working your way towards making it.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, and I think two things to that. First is our de facto response to anything that feels uncomfortable is I can’t and I would just encourage your listener every time like that thought comes up in your head like override doop, doop, doop, how can I? Right. And then ‘how can I’ is just more expansive question ask yourself. The second thing is know that there has been plenty of research executed that would indicate to you that just by having that goal of hitting that, you know, half million dollar per year mark or million dollar per year mark, or whatever it is for you. You are, I think it’s like 10 times more likely to achieve it just by having that written. So there was like a Harvard Harvard research study done in the 80s. Look this up, it’ll blow your frickin mind. But basically, like 3% of people graduating Harvard that year had both written goals, as well as plans for achieving them. And when they were revisited years later, they were making 10x those of their peers that have either, you know, written goals or no goals at all.

Lesley Logan
That is incredible. That, first of all, I love that. It’s also so believable. I mean, maybe the listeners remember this story, but maybe not remind you. When Brad and I decided to move to Las Vegas. First, it was December 2019. We’re like, “Hey, maybe we should maybe we should actually think about moving to Las Vegas.” And Brad said like, “Yeah, like in 2022, or 2023.” This is 2019, right? Because we had so many plans for 2020. And we had to like kind of change the life if you’re gonna want to move and buy a house like we were living in California without the goal of buying a house. So, you have to make a lot of life decisions that are different everyone, when you’re ready to buy a house, and you were living in California before. So fast forward March 2020, our entire count calendars, cancelled everything. Like I’m just like, literally refunding retreats and workshops and all this stuff. And I had a client who said, she worked at Google and she said, “We’re going to be home until June of 2021,” is what they said. This isn’t April of 2020. And I was like, “If Google’s going to be at home remote, every tech company is going to a remote and space is going to become a commodity.” And so I told Brad, we need to move to Vegas now. And he’s like, “Okay, well maybe like this, like later this year.” And I’m like, “Nope, June 1st. We’re moving June 1st.” And so we did this whole thing we wrote down like how many rooms will the house have? How like how much will can we spent? Like, what how much we want to have a square footage, what does it have? We are very specific. And then we put that away, we started doing some stuff did a couple work things. And sure enough, when we found this house, it was all the things we wrote down. It was a better price point than we thought and we moved on June 1. Like it was all these things and so havin not written down having like, “Oh, we’re gonna do that whatever.” We’re not like actually gotten specific about it. I don’t I can tell you right now it probably wouldn’t be here because I wouldn’t have known what I was looking for. I wouldn’t know I found it.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah,yeah. There’s so there’s so many things and that one is I have to reference a woman’s work who I just adore Dr. Tara Suat Swart. She is like a neural manifestation guru. So she talks about like the brain science behind manifesting and then the second thing so go and read her book The Source (The Source? Yeah, The Source.) So go and read that if you like this conversation. Second thing is the universe loves clarity, the universe does not love wishy washy. Same exact thing happened to me and my husband. It was last Christmas, (unfortunately we didn’t get the house which I’m still grieving) but we started asking ourselves if we left the city because we were city people. Then like what would the dream house look like for us? Number of rooms, walkout basement on a lake with a boats with all these things? Can I swear on this? (Lesley: You can totally. Yeah.) I shit you not I get on Zillow the very next day and I’m like, “Oh my God, this is the house in our price range.” You know what all these elements it’s like, by having that clarity you can attract and find that thing because you’re aware that that’s what you’re looking for.

Lesley Logan
100%. So you let I’m gonna put I put the source down because I got a I got a credit on my book thing to read. But I am rereading in paperback Pam, I think her name is Grout, Pam Grout’s book E-Squared. And she also did some science behind things and everyone who’s like, “Oh my God, these two girls are talking about manifesting and getting clar…” Do that, if you are a doubter. This is the book for you because she (Stef: Yeah) has nine experiments. All, seven of them only take 48 hours to do or less. And it’s you have to be specific, but you are she literally has you test the universe to prove that it exists and that it brings you things. And I did this book, gosh, in 2013 20… No 2014, I did this book and I wanted to experiment I wrote Brad’s name down and we were not dating and he was not calling me and nor was he texting me, but I wrote his name down as someone who’s going to call me. And the rule was it had to be someone who knew your information, but you would not say, “Oh, call me later,” like, couldn’t be like, we hadn’t talked in like three months. So I wrote his name down and within 48 hours, he had texted me and like the rest (Stef: Wow!) is history. So (Stef: Wow!) so like, I, I’ve been feeling a little bit like, I’ve been feeling a little unspecific and things and I’m just like, “I, want?” Like, insert generic goal here. And so I’m like,” You know what, we have to get back on that book, we have to get back on the specific bandwagon.” So so everyone two manifesting books with science behind it. (Stef: Yes) I feel like there’s a better house for you, there was a thing, but but as a city person, you have to be specific if you’re gonna leave.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah. I know. (Stef and Lesley laughs) I’m been checking out Zillow every day. So …

Lesley Logan
My advice, because that was a really weird to leave the city of LA like, like in UCLA to like, Vegas, and I were we are by the Strip. So I’m like, “Oh, look, city skyline.” (Stef: Yeah, yeah.) Okay, so back to women and building wealth, (Stef: Yeah) and feeling worthy. What, what do you say to the woman who, who may be like, oh, it will just use me as example because I know, we have a lot of listeners like this. I wasn’t raised with money. I was raised with parents who like, well, one parent who would spend the money, lose the game. And I kind of felt like it’s because I didn’t feel worthy. And that’s why the like getting rid of the money. (Stef: Yeah.) You know, sorry, Mom, if you’re listening. But just an observation. And then you know, so no money is always gone. The answer to everything was no, we don’t have any money. And then to fast forward, where I make way more money than I ever saw an adult member of my family make. What do you say to that person as they are trying to even build more wealth or feel more worthy of things like when around them, they never had that as a model? Is there, is there a mantra, is there something they could think of? Like, what is it because that is also stopping us from bridging that gap.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, I think the first thing is, in any area of your life, when you start doing work, results come, right. And we have been trained in how to have relationships with the people that we work with, in our careers, we have been not trained in how to have a relationship with our money. And so there’s tons of money experts out there, there’s a woman that I really adore, whose work has really impacted my life, Jocelyn Kelly Reid, who teaches us to look at money, like a resource, just as air is a resource that is abundant that we breathe, and we don’t think about, imagine money being the same, it can come into your life, it can exit your life, it’s literally just kind of this ebb and flow of how you exist. And for me, you know, similar situation like middle middle class, you know, but but my parents didn’t have tons of acculan… affilance, affluence.

Lesley Logan
It’s okay, Sunday’s bring on the worst words.

Stef Caldwell
Right, right. And so, um, you know, even just like getting around, getting centered around things like debt, right? Like, I think debt can like be this major shame spiral, especially for women, because we’ve been told it’s bad. But in reality, like debt is just a means to afford a future that we may need to step into more soon than we’re ready. My husband, I bought a home, you know, a number of years ago that we invested into as an Airbnb property. And I took on debt to make that investment. But that investment has paid back tenfold, maybe 30 fold at this point. And so while I had shame around the debt at the time, now I look at it and I’m like, “It was the best decision I ever made.” And it accelerated the future that we’re now living in. And so again, you know, there were you put forth effort results follow, I would encourage anybody listening to this, if you have money, shame issues, if you have a belief system that makes you feel like you’re not worthy of accomplishing the financial success that is available to you, if you just simply want it, go and put in the work there.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, that is, I like that. I also I like the way you put that together, because it is where you put the effort, it does expand and (Stef: Yeah) you know, so and if that’s where you need it, and, and thank you for bringing up the debt thing, because I do think there’s a lot of shame around that kind of stuff. And one thing you’ll that you don’t know is like pretty much everyone has it. (Stef: Yeah) So you’re not the only one. (Stef: Right, right.) And also something that I remember, because I would say this to my clients who like didn’t like the number on the scale and I’m like, “Well, you’re not walking around with your scale number on your shirt like no one actually knows what you weigh.” (Stef: Yeah) The same really is for your bank account and you walk around thinking that everyone around you who looks like they have money has more than you, you don’t know, they might have tons of debt that goes along (Stef: Right) with the money that they have. And so I think like, I remember, I heard a speaker, and oh my gosh, her name is escaping me. And y’all if I remember, I’ll put in the shownotes, or we’ll talk about in the recap, but she was very clear, like one, the energy of what you spend the money on your bills matters. So like when you like to have a lot of positivity around paying the taxes and paying the bills, and the word you use and then two like, credit is a good thing. (Stef: Yeah) Like having having that ability to use that to expand the business that you’re growing or the the work that you’re doing. It’s very different than just like going to Target. (Lesley laughs) Again, there’s a difference. So I really, really enjoyed that. Okay. So Stef, like with if somebody is wanting to start today to have more of an idea around welcoming wealth and I mean, obviously, we have your manifestation tips, and we can and wanting to get into the investment world, what what other things need to think about when it comes to building wealth? Is there like an obstacle or something we may not have discussed yet that could be like, hindering women from actually making the wealth they want to make?

Stef Caldwell
Yeah. So there’s a book that I read a couple of years ago, that just the title alone is Epic. It’s F word being humble. So being humble. (Stef and Lesley laughs) And I remember, I remember reading it and being like, “Who would I be, if I was the boss’s version of me that had no humility whatsoever?” Right. Like, take all the humility that has been like entrained in you from being a woman and playing small and all these things that society kind of like forces on us. And just strip that away for a second. Don’t gotta do it for a long time. Maybe just go get in the shower, and be the boss’s version of yourself and talk about your accolades, and your accomplishments, and how far you’ve grown, and how incredible you are. And what a great you know partner you are and the people in your community, like literally go to the most expanded, pompous, like proud version of you. And just let that out. And now the next time you’re going into any money related conversation, whether it’s raising your rates, working with clients, whether it’s raising your rates, you know, going into the next career opportunity, if it’s right for you. I want you to remember, every single thing that you stated when you were being the least humble version of you, because that’s who you really are. And like when you accept that, you’ll realize that in many ways, like you are underpaid or undervalued or undervaluing yourself even. And so, yes, so much of how we are able to receive is based on like, what we are available for, and so just go increase your level of availability, and then you know, money will flow to you.

Lesley Logan
Oh, I really love that. I really love that. And I I was thinking as you’re saying that, like no one has ever like said, “You know what, go see so and so they’re the most humble, aka cheapest place in town.” Like no one’s saying that. (Lesley and Stef laughs)

Stef Caldwell
Yeah. Like, I imagined, like, going to, like work with, you know, fitness provider. And they’re like, “You know, I’m like, actually not very good at helping you accomplished your goals. Like, I’m mediocre at best.” Like, “No way.” Are you gonna, like I want to go to the person to be like, “You’re gonna leave your with a six pack, a totally new diet, and be absolutely ripped, just like you want.” Like, that’s who I’m gonna hire. (Lesley: Yeah) So be their version of you …

Lesley Logan
Well, isn’t it isn’t it Tony Robbins is like the most certain person that wins. They win all the time. (Stef: Yeah) Like I’m most certain person wins. And I also think like, if you’d follow that up with like, “I’m going to do all this super, super confident. How much do you charge? Oh it’s $50?” (Stef: Right) Like, with a question mark. They’re be like, “Ah, wait, what? I was about to pay. That sounds like a $200 an hour thing. And now it’s like, I’m gonna wonder what’s wrong with it, it doesn’t match. (Stef: Yeah) Like your most bosses, like badassary, doesn’t matter the price you just told me?”

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, when people pay, they pay attention. And you’re the price that you you request is more about the transformation that you provide your customer than it is about what you’re able to receive. So like think about this, when you pay $50 for a service, you show up and you treat that $50 service those same way you treat a $50 service. We pay $5,000 for a service, you show up is a very different person. $20,000 $100,000 Right? Like know that your customers will get more value out of you when you you know demand a price point that forces them to show up as the best versions of themselves.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, yeah. And you also will like them more. You won’t resent them for… (Stef: Yeah) Like because you know when we resent something’s because we broke around with ourselves and if you’re under charging, of course you’re gonna resent that yourself or you’re gonna be mad at you because you’re, they’re blowing off the thing that you think that they should be valuing but you didn’t charge them enough for them to value it? And then you’re pissed because you’re also not making enough to do the thing, but they’re not valuing.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, yeah. And there’s so much to unpack in our feelings around money too. Like, what revenue do you bring into your business that like, feels like hell yeah, revenue. And what revenue do you bring in that you’re like, “Oh, I do not even like this.” Then find ways to get more hell yeah revenue and less revenue, and ultimately, you’ll grow over time.

Lesley Logan
Okay, well, that that is I can’t, Brad’s gonna love this. But I already know Brad’s gonna love that because that is that is also the one of the most simple ways like I think some people can complicate it like, “Oh, this is the thing that I make the most money on, or this is the thing I sell the most.” But it’s like actually ask yourself like, which one is like hell yeah money, and which ones like uh money. And then how do you make more hell yeah money. (Stef: Yeah) And what do you have to change in your business or in your day or in your schedule or your life? Like that’s oh, yes. Oh, I love. (Stef: Yeah) Okay. Well, Stef, I mean, I feel like it can keep talking to you forever. But we’re gonna take a brief pause. And and after that, we’ll find out where people can just hear more of your words.

Alright, Stef, where are you hanging out? Where are you giving this amazing advice? Don’t and you have a podcast coming out? Yeah.

Stef Caldwell
I do. I do. So because you’ve been listening, you know that my whole thing is how do we compress time? How can we help women have more wealth more quickly? There is an emerging economy and emerging industry that I’m really excited about. You may have heard the words Web3, you may have heard the words, Crypto. I’m really passionate about this space, as it’s opening doors to new wealth creation for women and not enough women are leaning in. So where people can hang out with me. On September 7, my new podcast Allowlist is launching along with my co host shout out Lauren Tierney, you’re amazing. It is a podcast focused all around Web3 and Crypto. I know you might be listening, and you’re be like, “Oh, this is so weird. This took a left turn.” Trust me. This is an incredible industry. And I would love to have you guys come and listen to that podcast.

Lesley Logan
Well, I think it could sound a left turn because when people hear Crypto. They think, “Oh, God, that’s just like, I don’t even understand stock markets. And I have to understand like that.” And then also everything that they’ve heard about Crypto. But can you like in layman’s terms describe what Web3 is? Because I think that that’s a word that they’ve heard less.

Stef Caldwell
Yes. So if you think about the internet, something we all know and love. In the early 90s, the only thing you could do on the internet was read stuff. That’s Web1. If you think about your experience with the internet, right now, you can both read things on the internet, as well as interact with people on the internet. So it’s read and write. Web3 is a new iteration of the internet that allows you to read, write and own your experiences in your digital life. If you think about things that we’ve talked about on this podcast, envisioning where this world is 10 years from today, my guess is that we’re spending even more time and digital lives than we have been historically. And Web3 really enables the ownership of our digital lives as opposed to being owned by the public utilities that are available to us. I …

Lesley Logan
Are we talking about the metaverse? Are we talking about like living in a like a like a an like a what does that virtual reality is that what we’re talking about?

Stef Caldwell
Metaverse is one component of Web3, but certainly not the whole story.

Lesley Logan
Thank God, thank God, there’s another part of the story because I was like, I just not, I don’t want to be part of that world as much. I’m already there. They already have three apps for me. (Lesley and Stef laughs) I thought you know what, first of all, like, I hope you all download it and go and listen, and at least at least listened to all their launch episodes. Because here’s the deal, women historically, we’ve not been able to be part of the first steps of any creation, like this, even in the 90s. Like how many women were in tech companies, right. And now you are part of tech companies. You can tell people how few women are there. And this is like an opportunity for all of us to actually be part of it, be part of what’s being curated. And we already know when women are at the top we do way better decisions. (Lesley laughs) (Stef: Which is completely true.) So there’s science everyone. But I like I think that this is this is not something we should avoid because this is though an awesome opportunity. We could be part of it at the beginning and we should be. So I’m excited that y’all are doing it. I can’t wait to tune in and actually learn about something I know this much about. And Brad is like, “Lesley you know,” he he talks about it all the time but like I think I’ve been like you know, blinders on blah, blah, blah, but we can’t do that anymore. We need to be part of it if we want to make the changes and we want to also be in charge of the experience we get to have which we all should want to do that. So thank you for sharing that podcast. It’s Allowlist?

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, allowlist.vip is the website and @allowlist.vip is the Instagram, Twitter, TikTok you know all the places.

Lesley Logan
Wonderful. Okay, so we asked everyone and you’ve given so many great action steps already. So, I totally understand if you’re highlighting the best ones, but Be It Till You It action items. Bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps women can do to be until they see it.

Stef Caldwell
Yeah, I was really excited about this question when I was preparing. So I wrote down four principles that guide my life. And these are quotes from other people that I’ve picked up and other personal development books along the way. The first is, there’s a statute of limitations on all childhood traumas, I think in many ways we let trauma, hold us back, work, do the work, and then choose to hop, skip, jump past it. I think that that’s just a choice we all make. I have my own trauma, you can hear about that on plenty of other podcasts. But that’s a guiding principle for me. The second is that you have to say ‘no’ to what you want to do, in order to do what you really want to do. I think the power of ‘no’ is so undervalued. But the more you start saying ‘no’ to the things that you want to do, the more you can start saying ‘hell yes’ to the things that you really want to do. And sometimes it’s harder, but it’s better. (Lesley: I love that.) The third is you can have your excuses. You can have success, but you can’t have both. So make a decision. Who do you want to be? And then the fourth is ask yourself every single day. Are you willing? Are you willing to be that person that person that takes action, the person that has the hard conversations with themselves and with others, the person that can step into the life that you most desire. And so that’s it.

Lesley Logan
Oh my gosh, saving all those, saving and putting, I’m like gonna put them where I can read them from my desk. I’m one of those people who needs a little reminders all the time.

Stef Caldwell
And I will say this I have to give you the names of the people that said those … (Lesley: Okay) because those are not my original words and I don’t want anybody to think that they are. (Lesley and Stef laughs)

Lesley Logan
Let’s give the credit and where are they from?

Stef Caldwell
Yeah. Statute of limitations is Alex Banayan, Third Door. Saying no to what you want for what you really want, Amber Amber Rae, Choose Wonder Over Worry. You can have your excuses, but you can have or success. That’s Jen Sincero. And then are you willing is Gary John Bishop.

Lesley Logan
Okay, The Third Door book everyone that’s an put that one on your list. That is a phenomenal book. That is such a good book. And it is, I think I can look back at my life and see that every success I’ve had is from the third door. (Stef: Yeah) Like it’s never, it’s never been the first door. It’s always been this third door. And whenever I try to go the first or second I’m always rejected. I’m always like, “Oh.”

Stef Caldwell
You’re like, “These stupid doors.”

Lesley Logan
Oh my God, these are, okay, I could have you on forever. You are amazing. You have such great advice. Thank you for being so willing to share it and and also, I hope to have you back. So if you all loved her, and you love what she said. Let us know screenshot this, tag her on Instagram, tag her podcast, go listen to it and say which part of this was your best takeaway? Which one of these things are you journaling about or thinking about or gonna do right now? Not only does it help the @be_it_pod, thank you, but it also helps Stef with her mission, which is really helping women build wealth and collapsing that gap. And I think that we we can do this together. So thank you so much for being here, everyone until next time, Be It Till You See It.

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Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

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Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.