The A.W.A.K.E Approach
to a Well-Balanced Life
Ep. 250 with Sunitha Sandeep
“Passion and purpose is more about what flows from you, no matter what you do.”
A transformative talk on fostering ease, redefining success, overcoming overwhelm, and finding inspiration. Lesley and Sunitha discuss the path to acceptance and how it leads to greater awareness. Tune in to discover strategies and insights for a more balanced life.
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In this episode you will learn about:
- How to foster ‘ease’ in life.
- Overcoming overwhelm for a more balanced life.
- Harnessing the transformative shift of her program A.W.A.K.E.
- Shifting from external motivation to internal inspiration.
- How to follow the path of acceptance.
Sunitha Sandeep: 15 years ago, if you had asked me if coaching was something that I wanted to do, like, as a kid or so I would say no, like, always kind of listen to somebody, and not the kind of a person like, you know, but that was who I thought I was. Yeah. But then, for me, what came out of this whole transformation is presence, consciousness. And I love to get other people present. And I love to be present, no matter what I do.
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.
Okay, so you guys, I am stoked for your ears to hear this. I, first of all, you’re just gonna love her voice, I found myself just mesmerized and like taking it all in. But our guest today is Sunitha Sandeep. She’s a TEDx speaker. She’s a transformational life coach. And she truly uses all of the tools that we have around energetics and Cymatics. And, and more than just that to help everybody understand kind of like why they’re doing all the things like hello are my overachievers that, Why are you doing that? And, and we went into a variety of topics. But first of all, get your notepads out, because there’s a couple questions she throws out there that I want you to save for when you are in a space where it was like, Oh, my God, everything is too much. Because it can really explain where your work needs to be. And also, we dove into passion and purpose. And as someone who my scope is not therapy, right. But as a as a business coach, and as a pilates instructor and a breath and habits coach. Something that like I’ve always been stuck on a little bit is how to help people this one area, and she puts it together in such an amazing package that I’m so excited for you to hear this, I will be sending people that part of the episode all the time, we’re gonna listen to this part of the episode go now, because it’s just so informative, beautiful, and while simple, complicated to do if you are not facing the stuff that comes before it. So all of that is gonna be here in this episode. I’m excited for you to hear this. I really cannot wait to hear your takeaways. You know, it’s so important to me. And and hopefully you enjoy the takeaways that Brad and I have. I really am already excited to do the recap episode with Brad about this because I think it can, I think it’s going to reveal a lot about why you do what you do. So here is Sunitha Sandeep.
All right, Be It babe. Hello. Welcome back. I am so thrilled to have conversation with today’s guest. When I came across what she does, and how she moves in this world and the things that she talks about. I was like, Oh, we must have this person on. I love anytime we have a TEDx speaker or someone who can talk about mindfulness and trauma and Cymatics because it’s something that I don’t think there’s enough information about we’ve talked about Cymatics before but it’s becoming more and more needed. I think it was probably always been needed, but more and more accessible. So Sunitha, Sandeep, thank you for being our guest today. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you’re rocking at?
Sunitha Sandeep 4:54
Yeah, thank you so much Lesley for having me here. And it’s wonderful to see what you’re doing especially spreading awareness, one of the big topics of trauma, mindfulness, somatic healing. And that’s exactly what I do. I’m a transformative coach and I help high functioning women who are going through a lot of inner struggles of whether it’s stress, anxiety, burnout, and then again, burn out can have lots of causes hidden traumas, conditioning, and so and take them through a process of both mental healing emotional healing, somatic healing a little bit more into the energetics and also to the consciousness level, so that they can have a higher professional impact. But what’s deep personal fulfillment, but I do.
Lesley Logan 5:39
Okay, obsessed. And also like, it’s you must have lived nine lives to have all this expertise and get into what you’re doing. But part of me my curiosity went to like, with these high functioning like these high almost like, overachiever, women, do you find that it after they work with you that that changes how they engage like, are they you know what I mean, because I’m thinking about the type of woman who like has these jobs, who is going into burnout for a variety of reasons, it could be from like, they overwork themselves approval, to prove that they’re worthy, or they’re avoiding dealing with the trauma they have, do you find that it changes them in a way of how they actually show up in their workplace
Sunitha Sandeep 6:20
Completely, completely, they will still, some of them even still get promoted. However, whatever they do, becomes more with ease a little bit more effortlessness. Because you see that something that is in wooden has changed. So the outer environment usually doesn’t change, or it changes for the better. But then the inner environment has changed. And some of them even add on more to what they were doing along with their job, they now start getting into more into their passion, their hobbies, and then they come up with other purposes that they feel a little bit more inclined to more coming from the heart. And some of them say like, you know, executive bonus, as executive job is something that I really drives me and I want to go further. And some of them will be like, you know, I’m fine with the with the job that I’m doing. And I want to give a little bit more importance to my family. And I want to spend more time with my kids. So it’s, it’s all very different. And it’s very unique to each person. But I think from the end results, what I see is they’ll continue to do what they want to do and even more, but with kind of an ease and effortlessness. And that’s, that’s the aim of my whole program. Yeah.
Lesley Logan 7:33
I actually love that word ease. It’s something I like. I remember years ago, because I was working for another company. And I couldn’t stop saying yes to promotions, like it was a definite, like hearing being promoted, like, Thank you, and, like, hated that first job. So it’s so funny, because I did it in the job previously, and I quit that job. Got another one. I was like, I’m not going to take a promotion the next week. They’re like, we’d like to promote you to this. And I’m like, Oh, my God. No. Here I am. Just like, because there was that overachiever in me like that person who was raised like straight A’s like, oh my gosh, you’re getting a promotion. Like, that’s such a great thing. Like, it was never like taught like, maybe you should see if you want the promotion. Maybe exactly right. Yeah, yeah, I was overachieving in this job that I didn’t actually enjoy. And I was trying to make something else for myself work. And I was in these like, two conflicts. And I was, I remember the word ease, being like, I just wish it was easy. I just wish there was ease around this. And it took me the longest journey to figure out like, well, you can’t have ease. The way you’re doing things you have to do something different. You can’t. I wish I learned it faster. But what are some ways that you explore people how to bring ease into their life? I mean, it’s not really a light switch because if there’s a driving reason for them to not to do something a certain way like just putting on the ease button doesn’t exactly fix anything.
Sunitha Sandeep 9:01
Yeah, it’s not a direct switch like as you said, it’s not like you know, taking this belief structure that I’m struggling with everything within and then okay, let me start doing everything easily. It’s a kind of an inner ease that happens because you first try to understand yourself at the mental level like you know, as you said, overachieving comes with a lot of perfectionism, comes with a lot of people pleasing, comes with a lot of wanting appreciation and recognition, because that literally drives our field. That’s the driving the motivation behind everything. And then just understanding where those things started coming from, why those things started happening. Growing up as kids, like any overachiever, kid, it’s like, oh, I got straight A’s. It’s like, oh, you’re great. It’s like, you’re such a good girl. You’re like doing amazing, you’re really smart or she’s such a perfect girl and she doesn’t cause any issues. You see these claimed of words, what they do is they build an identity over you, then you no matter what, whether you enjoy or not, whether it’s a struggle for you, whether or not you try to keep up to the identity, because that’s all, you know, that is your identity. And now what happens is like, as you said, you were not enjoying, but then you were getting things done, and you will continue to get things done. But the inner side of it, you’re completely unfulfilled, you’re not just happy, it’s not happening effortlessly, there’s more pressure, there’s more stress, eventually, if this continues for a longer time, it’s going to cause you a burnout. And then the burnout is not just like a physical exhaustion or so on. It’s not like an overloaded doing so many things. It’s a kind of soul burnout that we go through, which is kind of like, you know, I just don’t see the meaning in this like, it’s, it’s not, it’s not keeping your soul alive. And that is the kind of burner that I’m really concerned about. And if you don’t address that, it can go into into many deep pitfalls and cul de sacs and vicious cycle and the spiral downward kind of a spiral. And it can literally affect the overall life of a woman while with her partner with her kids. But who she is, as a person, even in her corporate world, or any kind of a job that she’s doing. It literally has impacts everywhere.
Lesley Logan 11:29
Yeah. You’re the first person to actually talk about that as a sole burnout, because we coach a lot of people. And they’re like, Well, I took a vacation and I’m still burnt out, I still it didn’t help. And it’s like, yeah, because the burnout isn’t because you’re over working yourself. It’s because of like the like, you’re you’re you’re not in your purpose. And the things that you’re doing on a daily basis are not actually aligned with, you know, how you the like the person you want to be like they’re on your soul level, your soul knows your incongruency there.
Sunitha Sandeep 12:02
Incongruency. And usually when somebody says that I asked them, are you overloaded? Or Are you overwhelmed, because there’s a major difference between overloading and getting overwhelmed. If you want to take a break, like if you just want to take a sabbatical going on vacation, it helps if you’re overloaded with meaning, you’re trying to accommodate too many things, within your span of 16 hours of your waking time, that’s overloaded. But then overwhelming is something that’s going on within and it doesn’t matter whether you’re working or whether you’re kids or whether you’re just being with yourself, you can be overwhelmed all the time, you can be overwhelmed even in a vacation, it’s like, I’m going to visit this vacation place, these are the 10 things that I need to do one after the other, like, you know, like let’s go finish seeing this particular place, let’s do this, this restaurant, and this is what we need to check out, you can still get into that mode. And that’s again, it might feel like it’s aligned, and I really wanted to do this, I wanted to explore this vacation place. But again, the way you do it from an internal process is just causing more overwhelm. When again, it falls back to that particular identity that you carry. I need to get things done. I need to finish that and things like a to do list that I need to check check. Check it off. Yeah, yeah. You can eat wherever you go.
Lesley Logan 13:24
That’s yeah. Okay. This is cool. I really liked how you broke that down because I can actually imagine a time in the past where I was overwhelmed versus overloaded. And it’s and it makes and now it makes me understand like, oh, that’s why that vacation was fine. And that’s why this one wasn’t. That’s why we know and so it’s definitely what a great question to ask yourself write that down everyone on my overload or my overwhelmed love that Okay, so here’s you know, we have a lot of women who listen I call myself a recovering perfectionist and overachiever because to be recovered those a little perfectionisty so we’re just in process. Yeah, so but one of the things that this podcast exists for is for that perfectionist overachievers, they can take messy action so they can stop waiting until things are like aligned and everything is perfect. So they stop over whelming themselves to be the person they want to be in this world. So I wanted to have you on because I really do love the topic that you’re talking about as a transformational coach and, and the way you help people. But I guess like my question where I feel the pushback of a listener is this. Well, I can’t just stop everything.
Sunitha Sandeep 14:36
Yeah, yeah, you can’t stop everything. That will definitely help you can stop everything but then you don’t want to stop everything. That’s where it is. If you can stop and if our if our lifestyle is such that we can just go live in a cave. If that works for you. There are a lot of people who have done that. But then the problem is we don’t want that way. We want too, we want to experience life with our kids, we want to have fun with our kids, we want to experience our life with our spouses, and we want to build our business, we want to make that impact to others, we want to, we want to work really well in a corporate environment, and then really bring that impact to others. We want all of those things, right. That’s what our soul is kind of craving also. And it doesn’t mean exactly the process, the way I wanted to it’s working as a professional doesn’t mean I need to hit this particular ladder, like these particular steps by this time, and this is the money that I need, see, when it becomes overwhelming. Instead, it’s like, okay, what are we what is it that I can give? What is it that I can give, when I can still be present, no matter what I’m doing, and then that will literally take you where you need to go. So if it’s possible for you to stop, try it out and see, it’s likely that it is not possible. We, we think that, in that, in that situation, when we are going through so much overwhelm, it’s like I just want to stop that’s what we feel like at the stopping is not the external activity, that stopping is more internally. And that’s the shift that we need to learn.
Lesley Logan 16:16
Yeah, how do we do that?
Sunitha Sandeep 16:18
It’s a multiple, it’s a multiple step process. It’s not a quick fix as just going for meditation, just going for some yoga practice, or just going to the gym or taking a stroll and like going for a hike or anything like that. You will have to go down to the level to your root causes. One on one, as we mentioned, just understanding your archetypal personality types of people pleaser perfectionism over achiever and understanding why you do that. Why do you really have to over achieve ramped over recognition? Success addicts, I call a lot of my women are success addicts, they’re literally addicted. Why do you need that? because that’s the way for them to meet themselves. They work they work, they achieve something kind of get a relief. And then they find themselves. That’s the only they that they have become close to themselves that they know of themselves. So naturally, you will keep doing certain things. Because you want to feel yourself, you want to be close to yourself, you want to feel intimate with yourself. But then the journey is first to understand those kinds of patterns that we are doing, both at the mental level at the emotional level, and at a somatic level, because lots of things are stored inside our bodies, or our mind can be tricked to like, you know, affirm something 100 times and say this is good, this is good ourselves, but our bodies cannot be tricked into it, we can trick our mind to do a lot of positive thinking. But the body is not going to listen to that. That’s why we often see, like, Oh, I know what I need to do, but I just feel stuck. And I don’t know how to just break the barrier and then go do what I want to do. And so all different layers have to be worked out. And then once the environment is clean and neutral, because we should not be building anything over the environment that is already carrying so much conditioning and so much negativity or so much trauma, a little bit of clarification of that. And a little bit of neutralizing will give you a little bit better foundation to build your next life. The other important aspect is one when somebody comes to me for the first one or two sessions, I asked them, what do you want? And then when I ask them what do they want in like the few final sessions it’s completely different. Yeah, because what you want was coming more from your condition way. What I wanted is what probably my mother wanted or what probably the society thoughts that I wouldn’t be successful if I had this. And it’s not coming from an inner place. Yeah, then. Yeah, once you clear there is there’s nothing blocking you from accessing your deeper place.
Lesley Logan 19:19
Yeah, I mean, I am picturing like, different people that we’ve worked with, or in our communities or even like, just in myself, and it is really interesting. Like, you know, if you like ask him like, why they do what they do. Yeah, so many of them can’t get past that surface level. Oh, I want to help people. Why do you want to help people? And they’re like, they’re stuck there. And that’s like, that, to me is like I’m like, oh, there’s some work there because part of what they want to do is what sounds good or what they think what they’ve been told they should do or whatever. It doesn’t have to be from their parents. It can even be from the industry that they’re in, like, oh or we’re all here to help people but really like, if you can, if you can get past that layer to like as you said it people the first use sessions I say this but by the time we’ve moved on, but they really want, they can articulate in such a different way and it might not look anything like it, but they finally got to get into that. So you said you do that with like energetics and Cymatics and different things like, What does that look like? And also for those people who don’t might not know what energetics or Cymatics is, can you just explain a little bit?
Sunitha Sandeep 20:22
Yeah, so I teach a program called the stick awake A W A K E and it’s an acronym for five separate transformational shifts that they get, a stands for awareness and then W stands for within a zone is a phase of transformative phase wherein we go way deep inside our conditioning. Inside understanding our deep held hidden fears, I take them through a process and then at the end of the process, the all the literally all the fears that are running humans as a whole, or even the men as a whole is the fear of being worthless, fear of being insignificant. Fear of being unloved, fear of being lonely and fear of losing either themselves or fear of losing the loved ones. Those are the top five fears that’s literally running every woman and just having an understanding and going deep within and letting something within speak because the only way you can, you can kind of transmute the trauma is not by suppressing it or not just by expressing it and dump all our emotional outbursts onto somebody is instant it is by a process called transmutation. When you sit with it, you give it the space for it to just come into the open, express itself in a very safe way, either in the coaching session or when they’re alone with themselves, and then release that into a process of presence. And that’s when you start tapping into so much energy that has literally stuck because trauma and conditioning is nothing but deep held pockets or dense pockets of energetic contraction. (…) an energy is using the contract something that the body feels is unsafe for the to feel a little bit expansive and relax. So it’s continuously contracting. And anytime that trigger happens within the body, again, goes into contraction. Now I’m not safe, I can’t be here, you can’t be here, because the body is protecting you. Rod body’s kind of protecting us. It doesn’t know that now we can handle things. It still is used to how we were handling things as a kid. And then it is still learnt those or maybe somebody went through some traumatic events in their life, the body has learned to contract, and it doesn’t want to let go. So in somatic and trauma healing practices, what we do is we give the safe space for the body and our nervous system to relax a bit. And feel like oh, I can be present here, even if somebody is triggering those events on me. Because usually I do a lot of inquiry based practices, and then we go back to the trauma and it has to be done in a very safe way. Because otherwise, otherwise the body will go into more contraction. And it has to be done in layers, like one layer after the other the second layer and it has to be done in a very, very compassionate way. And then the trauma begins to talk. Yeah, it’s trauma begins to release. That’s the that’s the deep work, which is the W and that is just a stage two the stage three is…
Lesley Logan 23:44
That’s a big stage! How long did that stage take? Can I be in that stuff? It’s like, it depends on like, what you’re the trauma you’re working with, or maybe the level of resistance of the person who like waited, whether they’re ready or not to go there, like, how long can that take?
Sunitha Sandeep 24:00
It’s so weird that I say this within two or three sessions, it can be done, it can be done. Because all it depends is how trusting the person is to if the other person can trust me, and I am the coach and I’m there and I’m helping them. Can you trust me? And the minute they trust something within kind of relaxes first of all, like, Oh, this is safe. And the minute the body feels safe, it’s literally a quantum shift that happens. It’s not a very linear process that goes okay, one after the other or so. It’s like as soon as the body is good, one layer has gone bang. Yeah. And then the other layer comes up and then the more they do, the more the body is like well, okay, I have been in the situation where I had contracted and now I’m letting go and nothing happened to me. So I can do this again and again. So it’s it again depends on how how safe the body and how safe the mind feels. That’s why it’s very important to work in that environment initially. I have my clients who also come from a PTSD background, a lot of PTSD, a lot of severe problems that they went through. And it’s the same process that I do, whether it’s conditioning, or whether it’s PTSD, or whether it’s trauma that the current trauma that they’re going through. And then the third transformational shift is action. A W A K E. So A is action. Action here does not mean an outward action at all, action is more, What does it mean to accept yourself? Not mentally. Not mentally, at all. Because we all know I need to accept the way I am. I need to learn to let go. But are you really letting go? Are you really accepting yourself? Are you really compassionate to yourself? Do you feel that when you give compassion to yourself does your heart open? Or is it mostly here? does your body feel relaxed? Right? So then I teach them what are the ways to tap into the acceptance, compassion and surrendering more from both body and from the heart. So the ultimately it’s keeping our hearts open. And and that’s where the deep us, the deep we, the deeper part of our authentic self, starts to communicate and starts to come out and starts to awaken and take part in our lives. And then finally, it’s the K. So k is the kindling. On this stage, now their heart is little bit open, then we kind of coax the heart and then kinglet and then say, What do you want? What is it that you want?
And what gives you that that inner inspiration? Even if nobody recognizes what you do, nobody is ever going to know what you’re going to do like what you’re going to be doing or writing a book. It’ll never get published, or you’re speaking on the stage, nobody’s there to listen. Or if you’re teaching somebody and then maybe there’s one person in the whole world that will be good, that that will be your client. Will you continue to do that? And then the answer is like, yes, because I want to do it, I want to do gardening, I want to write a book, I want to read a book or I want to go learn dancing. You see that’s completely different from I want to do it because somebody else thinks that this is cool. Or somebody else thinks it’s successful. And then the final part is the E which is engagement in life, no matter how much we learn and how much we coax our authentic self there is a part of engagement that needs to happen, a more conscious way of being, whether it’s as a conscious parent, as a conscious partner, as a conscious professional, conscious entrepreneur, conscious leader. So I touch upon those aspects as well. As a five step transformative approach.
Lesley Logan 28:19
I what I love about how you approach it, and it’s, you know, one of the things I tell people is like, you know, action is the antidote to fear. And what I love about your work when you talk about taking action, it is after you let go of things and it is also making sure the actions are instead of saying I need to be kind to myself, I need to love myself or I need to do this it’s, like, for someone who loves themselves so much or for someone who does, what actions do they take? What and so it’s like, um, it’s like a that that A is very much the being until they see it, so it’s not a shame or something that they’re like, forced upon themselves, but they’re doing it.
Sunitha Sandeep 28:53
I know, yeah, yeah, I think there’s a lot of shame and guilt with respect to loving ourselves, with respecting to practicing things like forgiveness and gratitude. For a lot of people, this doesn’t happen naturally. And it has to happen naturally, you cannot force it because gratitude, love, forgiveness, compassion. Empathy is something that is that is the first level of expression of your consciousness, the deeper most level, you can’t force upon it, because then if you’re trying to force upon it, it’s not like a fake it till you make it kind of a thing. You can’t do that. Because these are deeper, deeper levels of your consciousness, that if you try to do something from your mind, okay, no matter what, I’m going to forgive this person. That’s not what it’s called for. And I think that that is something that they need to know. Otherwise what happens is, I need to be grateful for the things that I have, but you know what, I’m not feeling that we wouldn’t, but I can’t tell it to anybody because it’s shameful. I feel guilty for feeling that way. You see…(Lesley: And then the person goes in a total spiral. Hey, I need to be grateful) Yeah, yeah, it is. This, that’s something that people really need to learn that these qualities are not something that can be forced upon at all. It happens naturally. And your role in that is to just keep yourself open.
Lesley Logan 30:24
Well, that and that’s all and also, probably the hardest things to do is to like, be open to receiving that, you know, I think that’s why people get really scared, because it’s like, I mean, some people can’t even receive a compliment. So let alone receive.
Sunitha Sandeep 30:41
Yeah, they can’t even receive the compliment. Yeah, because there is also something some other identity that crops up and say, No, you can’t be, you can’t be getting these things. You’re not good. Like, you know, you’re an imposter. You’re not even worthy of it. You see, because that’s probably something that they learned growing up. They would have learned about this. And that’s where it’s coming from.
Lesley Logan 31:03
Yeah, you brought up impostor. And so I wonder like, how many of the women that you that they come to you. And there are these like super successful, amazing women who have done crazy things, and how many of them feel like that imposter syndrome, all of them, some of them?
Sunitha Sandeep 31:19
Probably most of them, most of them. It’s a very common thing. It’s a very common thing because as overachievers we always try to compare ourselves. And then here we try to keep comparing ourselves with with ourselves. Okay, that’s, that’s not good. This is not good. And then people are going to find out that you’re fake or all these kinds of fear, fear based approaches. And yeah, and it’s a very common it’s and it’s very common, and with with high achievers, yeah. I find more so with high achievers than than people who, who usually take it easy and take it more like kind of laid off.
Lesley Logan 32:02
Yeah, I got into researching it for a few reasons. One, because I felt impostor syndrome. And I get all these like achievements. So I was like, What is going on? And I listened to Seth Godin answer a question on impostor syndrome. It’s like, well, if you’re new to something, you are an impostor, you should feel that way. If you are new to something, however. And he went off on another tangent, and then it’s like, well, if I’m not new to something, and yet, I’m feeling like an imposter than what does that look like? So I was doing some research with like five types of impostor syndrome, most of them have to do with perfectionism. Or if you were considered like a genius at a young age, like if you think things came really easy to you, all that stuff and so that those and there’s like, you did things on your own, like you like you were just lots of accolades compliments or, or even just like you had to for survival. So therefore, there’s these like five different ones, and I can’t remember all of them, but one of them has with perfectionism, one of them has just been, everything came very easy to you when you were younger. Yeah. And, and what ends up happening is like, you’re having imposter syndrome, because you cannot, it’s so hard for you to accept that what you just achieved was enough like that, that was really good. Or that even if you did it, because other people helped you that you’re still worthy, and you’re still valid. And it’s really interesting what we all have our communities we have a now on the podcast of Fridays is Fuck Yeah Friday, you must celebrate something that happened that you like a win of any size. And it’s what it’s so fun. Because the people been in the communities for years. You start to see them, they just do every Friday, they’ll do it all week long. They’ll go I have a one on a Monday, like they’ll do all they it took them a while, but they got there, right. And then there are some people who, like it is so hard for them to post in that way, a one win on a Friday at one time because like, well, it’s not good enough. Like it’s not enough.
Sunitha Sandeep 33:50
It’s not enough. It’s not Oh, yeah, that could have been better. It’s not enough. And what do people think that if I post about this, it’s not good enough to be posted.
Lesley Logan 34:00
Yeah. And I’m like, I might. So I started share, I said, I want to share your wins. Because I want people to see like, what a win can look like. And it can be really small. It could be like, I, I, you know, I asked one person this week to do this thing. Like that’s a win like you who cares what they said yes or no, the win is that you did the thing, right, like so…
Sunitha Sandeep 34:21
That’s the shift. And I think you brought up a very important point there. The wind, the definition of the success, the definition of the wind needs to change, because for us the definition of success is dependent on I asked somebody that they say yes or no, right? That’s the definition of success for them. And for whatever reason, that person said, No, it’s not worthy enough to go and post it as a win because they’re looking at more from a result perspective. But then the shift that needs to happen is it’s a WIN because I tried. I asked them, I did it. The action itself needs to be your win. That’s where you redefine your success. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that that’s a big shift. That’s a big shift. And it’s not easy for many overachievers, because achievement.
Lesley Logan 35:15
Yeah, no I have, we just had an episode come out recently where the guy asked him how he goal sets and he said, I never set the goal that I’m gonna get three clients I cannot control if I’m gonna get three clients, I can’t control three people saying yes, I can only control the actions I can take to get people to hear about the service I have. And that might end up being. So I can only control if I fix my website, I can only control if I like the things that are in my control. I actually have steps I can take. And I was it’s like, sounds so obvious. And yet, for the for the high achievers out there the over achievers to you it’s not that’s like they’re like no, the three clients is the goal, I have to hit this monetary number. And it’s like, we just don’t control that we can only control the steps we take that could potentially lend itself to that result.
Sunitha Sandeep 36:03
All right, correct. Right. And see that doesn’t motivate it. It’s like, oh, if I set a goal, like, you know, I need to, I need to have like five clients. I’ll do whatever it takes to get those five clients. And it’s, and if my motivation is not hitting those results, there’s literally no motivation for me. That’s the problem. And that’s where, that’s where the understanding, the motivation, and moving it into inspiration is needed. Because now when you’re working from a place of inspiration, whether you get five clients or zero clients, it doesn’t matter, because you’re doing it because you love doing it. That’s all, you just, you would just do it whether people pay you money or not. You would keep talking whether if there is anybody to listen or not, you would just keep posting your videos. Like you keep singing if you’re a singer, you keep dancing, if you’re a dancer, they keep painting if you’re an artist, you see, and but those are the real, real callings. Those are the real passions.
Lesley Logan 37:19
And also, like, as you’re saying all of that, it’s like, I, you don’t have to sell the painting to be the artist. And you don’t have to paint for a living to be an artist, you can actually…(Sunitha: exactly yes) because you’re called to. And, and the other things that you do, don’t have to have, like, whether or not maybe want to be an accountant, but like maybe accounting provides you with the time to be the artist. And so you can instead of like putting this pressure on, like who am I as an accountant? It’s like, How can I? How can I allow my, the thing that pays for the life that I want to live to do that and not stress me out so that I can do these things over here that are the reason why I have what I want is that.
Sunitha Sandeep 38:03
That’s a very beautiful way that you coach because livelihood doesn’t equate to your passion and purpose. It can’t be the same. It can’t be the same. For some people, it’s the same. But then what we forget is even when people say Oh, this is my passion, this is exactly what I wanted to do. And I’m also able to earn money, your passion and purpose changes. Within five years, after five years, like let’s say you’re earning, you’re like literally settled today with exactly what you wanted to do. If you’re holding on to the same passion and purpose, it’s a suffering again for you. So within some time, your passion and purpose will change because you have expanded as an individual. So if you’re trying to always keep your livelihoods with your passion and purpose, it’s again, a constant struggle and burnout and overwhelm, shouldn’t keep it separate. It’s like, I’m fine doing the job that I’m doing. But I’m finding the passion and the purpose because again, passion and purpose that result. There’s a misnomer that passion and purpose is something that you do. Passion and purpose is more about what flows from you no matter what you do. And it’s not easy to get this difference from many, because we usually Oh, I’m I’m passionate about dancing, so I need to dance. I know you’re passionate about expressing. Yeah. And dance is just one form of it. You can express it anywhere. For me, when I started like you know what is it that I really want to be doing in my life and so on then you really just go into the internet and social media. They’ll be like 10 questions, what is it that you want to do and what did you like doing as a kid and blah, blah, blah. And I wrote all of those things. None of them felt like they even close to my passion. I’m like, No, this is is exactly not what I want to do. And, and 15 years ago, if you had asked me if coaching was something that I wanted to do, like, as a kid or so I would say no, like, always kind of listen to somebody, and not the kind of a person like, you know, but that was who I thought I was. Yeah. But then, for me, what came out of this whole transformation is presence, consciousness. And I love to get other people present. And I love to be present, no matter what I do. So I take that passion, I take that purpose, into everything that I do, whether I’m teaching, whether I’m speaking, whether I’m coaching, whether I’m at my corporate work, or whether I’m at my, at my family, with my kids, with my husband, with my dog, or I’m singing, I’m also a singer, then, of course, it’s not that it’s so seamless and 100% of the time that I’m there. But that’s, that’s my pots.
Lesley Logan 40:57
Yeah. Well, and also, like, Thank you for saying that about the even if your passion and purpose are making a livelihood right now, in five years, it’s going to change and, and it may be a different timeline for some people, but I do believe you are correct, because I was very, I found myself very lucky that my what I loved to do very much supported me and it supported me and bringing my husband onto the team. And then, but there was this like this, that that inkling of over it wasn’t even overwhelm. I don’t know, maybe it was overwhelm. But I felt that this like thing like this isn’t, this isn’t fulfilling the thing it used to fulfill anymore. And it’s not that I wanted to do with because Brad was like, well, we could just quit that one that I always ask myself that question. When I’m feeling that way. I’m like, what if I just quit? And usually that makes me go, no, no, I actually love this. I love this thing that I’m doing. But my purpose had changed. And if similar to you, if someone had asked me 15 years ago, actually someone did they’re like, Oh, do you wanna run a studio? When I first started teaching, I was like, No, I don’t want to do that. I want to manage anybody. But I ended up running the studio. And then I closed that studio. Now I, you know, it was my husband, I run three companies. And I never wanted to do that. But the reason I do it now, is because the purpose that I have has changed. And the impact that I want to make requires this, this change. But where I get my passion has become even more clear. And it can happen through this podcast, it can happen to the coaching or it could happen when I’m walking my dogs or when I’m at the gym, like so it’s actually quite cool that like, It’s actually amazing. Because if you start to think, Oh, my passion and purpose in my life are the same. It’s gonna be really hard for you to not do them. Like what do you do on your day off? What do you do on a hobby? Yeah, like that becomes really complicated if you have them so a mesh and you don’t see how they can they can be outside of your livelihood.
Sunitha Sandeep 42:59
Yeah, imagine imagine if your passion purpose and livelihood everything is just a, even for some people that is fine too. If you’re talking to your kids, or if you’re being with your kids, and somewhere you will be like oh, this is not my passion or this is not my purpose. Imagine if that happens, how things are going to turn up for you as a parent. Yeah. So again, the passion and the purpose are we need to shift from going passion with an action to more from being perspective more and more like a feminine perspective. It’s like what do you want to be no matter what you do? It’s like maybe I want to express or maybe I want to be more present or maybe I want to heal or like you know these kinds so it doesn’t matter whether you’re in any kind of a relationship, whether you’re in a big corporate executive having 200 300 people orwhether you’re just being with your dog or with your kids that’s who you are like you want to heal people, you want to listen to them, you want to be present with them, that’s what is going to keep keep you going no matter what changes in your life.
Lesley Logan 44:12
Yeah. Oh my goodness, I adore you. I love everything you’re making my whole life makes sense to me thank you, but also I think you’ve given so much food for thought for everyone who is trying to make their passionate doing instead of a beam and you know are all about being it until we see it here so anything that can be being is perfect for us. Okay, before I let you go and take a brief break and we’re gonna find out people find you, work with you, learn more from you and also your Be It action items.
Sunitha Sandeep 44:40
Yeah, so everything is there my website, www.sunithasandeep.com I have a master class a free one hour masterclass. 15 minute masterclass that talks about my awake program. And many people have just got shifts by just watching this and it’s like, oh my god, this is who I am or this is what I need to do. And this is the way and so, so feel free to just go subscribe yourself to that and watch that masterclass. I also have a free ebook that I have on my website that talks a little bit more into my own journey as a as a trauma survivor. And I also have a TEDx talk that I have linked in there that you can go watch that will give you a little bit more hope, even if you have gone through any kind of trauma and and how you can use trauma as a catalyst for your positive growth. So there are a few articles and I love writing. So I write a lot of blog articles, and a very different way from the mainstream way of looking at things. So it’ll be a little bit contradictory what I write, but I think hopefully touches somebody who’s ready for that, for that change.
Lesley Logan 45:47
Yeah. Love all that. Thank you. For all those, we’ll put those in the resources in the show notes below. So you can easily click on them, they’ll also be on the website. So you can click on there before I let you go bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, what do you have for us?
Sunitha Sandeep 46:03
Number one starts from acceptance, period. Period, like acceptance from the mental level acceptance from your emotional level acceptance from your somatic level, accept and see how the world changes for you. A very, very deep acceptance. That’s all. Yeah, literally. That’s all because if you can accept your pain, if you can accept your suffering, you will get into to your evolution in like a quantum shift.
Lesley Logan 46:34
Yeah, it sounds simple and complicated at the same time.
Sunitha Sandeep 46:39
It is complicated, it is. It’s not easy to do. Sounds way, way simple. But again, to go through the path of acceptance is a multiple transformative shift and an acceptance leads to awakeness. You will feel alive, you will feel awake, you will finally feel like you have gotten up from from your sleep. And it’ll lead you to many places.
Lesley Logan 47:06
Yeah. Wonderful. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for your amazing words. I got so much out of this. I know those of you listening probably got some amazing nuggets, please make sure that you share them, put them on your socials, text it to a friend because the more of us that are understanding the difference between overwhelmed and overloaded and, and acceptance versus what we think we’re supposed to be doing and all the things you just said the more of us who can do that, the easier it is for all of us to do it. Honestly.
Sunitha Sandeep 47:35
Yeah. It just spreads.
Lesley Logan 47:38
Yeah. So y’all, thank you for listening. Make sure you tag at the Be It pod, when you share this tag Sunitha and let us know how this affected you in your life and until next time, Be It Till You See It.
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of the ‘Bloom Podcast Network’.
It’s written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.
It is produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velasquez for our transcriptions.
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.
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