Don’t Follow Your Passion,

Follow Your Curiosity

Ep. 31 ft. Tina Tang

“To make one thing grow you can’t do two separate things.”

Tina Tang

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Bio
Former Wall Street trader and brick-and-mortar jewelry store owner and designer Tina Tang dove head-first into fitness at the age of 42, after some incredibly challenging life changes of a divorce and crashing economy. Now, seven years later, she’s coached thousands of training sessions, created the FS Formula to help mid-life women get stronger and leaner, and is a ‘Fit at 50’ coach.
Show Notes

Tina Tang is so real! Her life experiences of trading on Wall Street, quitting Goldman Sach’s to open multiple jewelry stores in Manhattan, going through a difficult divorce, and becoming an inspiring personal trainer in her 40s shine through in her vibrant and joy-filled personality. She’s recently started an online strength training program for other women in their 40s and you can hear her excitement for it in this interview.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • Age doesn’t mean anything anymore, but yet it still does
  • Growth comes from pain/rock bottom
  • The intimidation of going to the gym
  • Curiosity, self judgement, being present
  • Switching careers
  • The opinions of others
  • The side benefits women experience by lifting weights
  • Don’t follow your passion, follow your curiosity

References/Links:

Transcript
INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan
Hey you, how are you? Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast. Welcome back! If you’ve been here before, I hope you’ve been having fun listening to all these interviews, you know, I kind of have to pinch myself, every time I get to do an interview with someone because I, it doesn’t feel real, I actually had the mind to do a podcast for years. If you’ve been listening to some of the recaps, Brad and I talk about we’ve been wanting to do it for a long time. And, and now we’re like in it. And I think, I think it’s really you know, the Be It Till You See It mantra motto is, it’s challenging because it feels a little fake and can feel a little cognitive dissonance. That’s the word. And I, I want you to know that, like, you’re not lying to yourself, you’re acting as if. Right? And so you’re just stepping into that place. And so if you are struggling on some days Being It Till You See It versus other days, just know that on those days, you’re doing like you’re doing it and on the other days, it’s a vacation. (Lesley laughs) It’s a day off. But I do I do hope you continue to see yourself in other people’s stories, in these interviews and, and if something sticks with you, if something piques your interest or something like it makes you go, “What what is that?” you’re gonna love this interview, because Tina Tang is our guest this week. And while I don’t want to give away what her action step is, but you, you will love it. And it is so interesting, and it’s pretty against the grain, and I’m excited about that. But Tina’s interview is amazing, you’re going to see some vulnerable, her so much vulnerability, you can see it on YouTube. So, but you’ll hear it if you’re listening to this on your walk with your doggoes. She’s had a journey and she’s had a life and it hasn’t been all roses and unicorns and glitter, like no one’s has, right? And I think it’s really easy for us to see people on Instagram, see trainers or see influences on kind and think, oh, it must be nice or must be you know, like, so easy for them. You know, but what I love about this interview is you hear that it’s not easy, actually none of it is. You know, but but what we learn from each thing that we do is really important and really incredible and it takes us on this place. And and so I really enjoyed this conversation. I hope you do too. And you can hear more about Tina, not only on this podcast, but you can go into the show notes, check out her incredible career journey. So for those of you who are like, “Ah, I feel like I’m bopping around from thing to thing,” you know, that is divine and it’s an appointment and in your in your in you I think you’ll really enjoy it. She started as a Goldman Sachs person and then she owned jewelry stores and now she’s an incredible trainer. And so I really wanted to have her on for those of you who are thinking of joining the next thing to leap into something. And you’re wondering, “Oh, what people say, what people say”. Well guess what it is only matter what they say. But that’s a spoiler alert. You’ll get to listen to this whole podcast right after this message.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and business fitness coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

EPISODE

Lesley Logan
All right. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Be It Till You See It with Tina Tang. Oh my gosh, okay, y’all there are my friend Erika Quest has been a guest on our show talks about divine appointments and I feel like this is one of them. We I don’t know that we ever would have met had it not been for a mastermind that we are in together. But it’s so funny as she and I shared this like love for jewelry. And and also I think in a past life before the recession, we may have actually even been working a while in the same industry and not even known it. So it’s just really funny. So, Tina, I’m so glad you’re here. Will you tell everyone who you are and what you’re up to?

Tina Tang
Yeah, so my name is Tina Tang and how I like to describe myself is I’m a ‘Fit At 50’ strength coach because I got into strength training, you know, in midlife, so that’s why I guess I always like to point out age because people don’t like to think about their age, but I think it’s wonderful to celebrate age, especially as you’re working on, I guess, being a stronger person.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, I love that you said that 50 fit at 50 um, I also just feel like, when is midlife anymore? Because you know people are living to they’re a hundred. I just watched! There’s an Olympics for like people who are in there like, a hundred years old. There’s like an actual like race. And there was a 102 year old who’s doing a 100-yard dash. And I (Tina: Oh my God) I think they might run faster than me. I actually … (Lesley and Tina laughs) It was really impressive. So like, you know, I find it, I do understand, like, there’s such a weird thing about age and it’s so strange because I feel like, it doesn’t really mean anything anymore. But for whatever reason, (Tina: Yeah) it does mean things, you know, and in our lives.

Tina Tang
Yeah. There’s one thing that I like in powerlifting and I think actually, in some other strength competitions, when you’re 50 and older, you’re called the master. And I’m okay with that name. (Lesley laughs) And I’m like, “This is the masters.” (Tina laughs)

Lesley Logan
Yes. Oh, my gosh. (Tina: Yes) I love that. That’s better than like silversneakers, which is (Tina: Yeah) something that I really struggle with, because I’m like, but what if you … like I will forever have red roots died. (Lesley and Tina laughs) I will always have my roots died because y’all, this is not my real hair color. (Lesley and Tina laughs) So, well, anyways, so you got into fitness later in your life. And, you know, I I love that because I think so often people think, “Oh, it’s too late for me.” Oh, you know, like, “Starting anything new is so hard.” Can you talk about like, what prompted you to get started? And how did you overcome the idea of like, starting “later in your life,” which is still early – y’all in life? (Tina: Yeah, I agree with you) For the context of this? Yeah.

Tina Tang
It’s what I think sometimes, whenever we make a change or transition, it’s because we’re in some kind of uncomfortable place. Right? When I did a career switch, but for strength training, I was going through a divorce at that time, and it was a very difficult divorce. So I would leave my apartment to not be lonely. And I would actually go to the local gym, and I wasn’t a gym rat. I was it was just somewhere across the street that I could go. And I was like, “Oh, I’ll try taking classes.” And in those classes when I started strength training, like because the classes are there kind of HIIT, but it had a lot of strength, strength elements. And I’d always be asking the teacher questions like, “Well, how do you do this? And why are we doing that?” That’s how I got started. I mean, I eventually ended up taking a personal training course, but for self enrichment, but that’s how it started just being some in a position that was uncomfortable, and me just trying to figure stuff out for myself.

Lesley Logan
So that’s, you know, you’re so right, I think that we so badly want to get out of pain, that like we’re so focused on getting out of the pain, like, “Why am I in this situation?” And I can think of all the things that I’m so grateful for right now came out of those uncomfortable moments of like wanting to get out. And I think, you know, it’s so easy for us to want to, like save our friends from something that’s terrible, or family members, or I don’t have a kid, but I see parents like really worrying about like, the mistakes our kids can make. And like, obviously, there’s some things we don’t want them to make, but like, at the same time, like you can’t really take away people’s like rock bottoms or because like, that’s kind of where like beauty grows from, you know

Tina Tang
Yeah, that is very true. Yeah, it’s it’s hard sitting in those moments where, where you have to just be whether you’re feeling down, or like, or in pain, but without going through it. You can’t really heal. I know that sounds so squishy, but it’s always easier saying it after you’ve been through it, like, “Oh, yeah, I needed that.”

Lesley Logan
But like, I understand why because it’s like, “Oh, of course, I’d say that because they’re on the other side.” But like when you’re in it, it’s true. You’re in it, but you got curious and you’re like, lonely and you wanted to get out of the house and there was a gym and so you you took that first next step without being a gym rat without. What was that like the (Tina: Yeah) first time like you’re like, “Okay, I’m gonna go to the gym.” Was that uncomfortable? Was that weird? Were you excited about it?

Tina Tang
It is uncomfortable. I think a lot of women feel that way. Especially there’s that part of the gym where you see the dumbbell, the the giant dumbbells or even the barbells. So I think that’s why a lot of women probably take classes. It’s a it’s a nice transition where you feel like you’re guided there’s other women around. And then I guess and figuring out how you can go to the next levels when I get scared. That’s why I actually took the personal, it was like an intensive personal training course because I was like, I want to know how to use all this stuff that we don’t use in class, like the scary part of the gym. And, and unexpectedly, it’s what kind of launched me into my fitness career. But yes, it was it is scary going to that part. And then once you have a little bit of guidance, because I think sometimes when we’re younger, like younger, teenage boys might lift together, but teenage girls we’re not…

Lesley Logan
They don’t. No. (Tina: Yeah) I was in sports no one, you know, I went to the gym because I had been studying some other runners and I heard them talk about what they did at the gym and I’m like, “Wait, they don’t just run? They do other things?” And there was like so I did a lot of stuff to strengthen my whole body because when you’re running, it’s like, great strong legs, and then like your upper body is like dwindling. And, and so it’s true, but no one, like I was one of few girls that were there and the other women that were there I remember at my gym when I was a teenager in high school, they were like these big power lifters like, 80s (Lesley laughs) you know, like, there’s like the it was the whole thing. And I was like, “Oh, I don’t, that doesn’t look fun for me.” But now, now I know differently and I, you know, I judge and I have a completely different way and I love to lift weights. But it was such an interesting, there wasn’t anyone there, you know, to make me feel comfortable, because there just wasn’t a lot of women doing it. So (Tina: Yeah) Have you always been that kind of curiosity? You know, like, is that something because I wonder about, you know, were you always someone who’s like, “Oh, I’m really interested in this. Okay, now I’ll go do this,” or is it just something like because of the situation you’re in, you got curious and then you wanted to know more?

Tina Tang
I think, I think, I wouldn’t ever categorize myself as like, “extreme curiosity person” but I think if I’m interested in something, I’ll go try it out. I won’t necessarily know if what it might turn into but I’ll take a class or check it out. Or even if it’s a book or a podcast, or whatever, I want to take a little – dip my toe in. But I think that’s I think that’s natural for people. It’s I think it’s just going in without expectations.

Lesley Logan
You. No, you’re I actually because I used to think that maybe I wasn’t a curious enough person, which it’s … my my recovering overachiever at work y’all like this is litter. You can understand it’s recovering, overachiever and not recovered. Because I’m like, “Maybe I’m not curious enough. I wonder how I get more curious.” And I watch, like detective shows. I’m like, “How are they…so like, why are they think?” you know what I mean? And it’s, it’s I think a lot of it’s actually just being present versus not being present. I think that general curiosity as human beings, happens, just when you’re present versus not, and like, kind of going deeper than the statement or the judgment of your thoughts. But but I…

Tina Tang
Yeah, wait. Wait, that’s actually that’s so on point. I think we all are curious. But then it’s the thing that might stop us is the judgment, like your self judging, like, “Oh, I can’t do that, or I’m not good at that, or whatever it is.” (Lesley: Yeah) That will, we’ll be we stop ourselves.

Lesley Logan
… 100%. And I know that so you’re a trainer now. And so basically, later in life, you’ve started to go into the gym, because you were looking to be around some people and the classes were fun. And then out of curiosity, you took a training, but now you train (Tina: Yeah) women. And you know, I think a lot of people. Like I grew up with a family where my parents are still doing the same job that they did, like when my dad’s retired, but like, they just my mom’s a teacher. She’s been a teacher forever. Right? (Tina: Yeah) And I have I mean, I’ve been a Pilates teacher for 14 years. But like within being a Pilates teacher, then I got the business coaching and now I’ve got this and now I’m running this company. And it’s like, I think a lot of people struggle with that whole like, well, most of the people they ever saw just did one thing. And then there’s this like, judgment around when I’m supposed to find my one thing. And, (Tina: Yeah) and then but you like you had this amazing jewelry company. And now you have an amazing training business. What was it like for you to switch careers? And what was what was the impetus? Like what what drew you to becoming a trainer?

Tina Tang
Oh, that’s so… you know, again, it’s like situation and uncomfortable situation. So let’s see, I was I had my jewelry stores in Manhattan. And then that’s when I was starting to go through the divorce and then 2008 happened the financial crisis. And you remember this for also when you were in retail? …

Lesley Logan
We were in both in retail at the same time. Yes, so you own (Tina: Yup) shops, and I was managing them and it was (Tina: Yup), you could see it, you could like see the writing on the (Tina: Yup) wall. This is not going well for us. (Lesley laughs)

Tina Tang
Yeah, you know, what’s so interesting Lesley? Is at that time, it was like 2008 and then I think maybe not on purpose that was the rise of Amazon too. (Lesley: Yeah) So it was like people were shopping online and there was a financial crisis. (Lesley: Yeah) And that was like a double whammy for brick and mortar. (Lesley: Oh, yeah) So at that time, I was like, Okay, let me just a downsize. I’ll just have like a small booth within I don’t know if you know, in New York City, there was a place called Limelight it became like a little …

Lesley Logan
Oh, it’s like a mall without walls because that’s what Fred Segal was. I used to work at Fred Segal. It was …

Tina Tang
Yeah … it’s actually in an old church. (Lesley: Cool! So cool) … And that’s when I had taken the personal training intensive was like several weekends long and then it was actually with Equinox, and they’re like, “Oh, we if you’re interested, it was a theater into their into their gym.” So like “Oh, you can always apply to be a personal trainer at the same time.” So I somewhere in my mind is like, “Oh, I can do both. I can run my jewelry company and then also do training.” Which is actually not … to make one thing grow you can’t do two separate things.

Lesley Logan
I’ll tell you I thought the same thing as like, I’ll become a Pilates instructor on the side to pay for my Pilates habit and I’ll run this jewelry store over here. And then what ends up happening is like one of them is going to take more of your time. (Tina: Yeah) And I got so busy teaching, I had … like downsize my time at the jewelry store and then that wasn’t going to work. So I just ended up quitting and it was like, I was like, “Whoa, this is not the plan.” (Lesley laughs)

Tina Tang
Exactly, exactly. That’s how it is like funny how life is like you’re, you’re trying when the, you didn’t expect to go in this direction. But it’s kind of like you tried it, and then your passions are bringing you there are at that time your interest is going that way. Like you were transitioning out of the retail and being in that business for so long. Yeah, that’s totally (Lesley: Yeah) unpredictable.

Lesley Logan
So did you end up working for them? Is that what end up happening?

Tina Tang
I did. Yeah. So I was at Equinox for about three years. And it’s a great place to start as a young trainer because they do educate people. (Lesley: Yeah) They don’t pay well, but they educate you.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Well, I always tell people, if you are, if you’re in the States, where they’re also in London, like, and you have the opportunity, it is a great way to learn how to run your own business because you have to get new clients, but they’re all in a box. They’re all right there. You just have to stand there and smile, you know, like …

Tina Tang
You work there for a little bit or you …

Lesley Logan
I worked there for six years. Seven years.

Tina Tang
That’s right … Yeah, that’s right. Yep.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, I work I worked are there in 2009. I left in 2016. So just like two months shy of it’s been exactly on the dot. But yeah, I think it’s it. You know, if you are afraid of talking people on the street, your business, it’s a great place to, to get warmed up and get started. So so (Tina: Yeah) then so okay, so, you know, I think I think some of the things that hold people back from doing the next thing is like, what people will say, you know, what, how people perceive it like, “What if it doesn’t work?” Wha… how was that for you? Like, did did was everyone excited for you? Did you have people going? What are you doing, Tina? Like …

Tina Tang
I’ll tell you when I before doing jewelry I was, I worked at Goldman Sachs. I was a trader. And when I told I didn’t tell my parents, I was thinking of quitting. I had just called them like, after I quit quitting like, “Hey, just letting you know, you know, I, I quit Goldman Sachs.” It was completely silent on the phone, like so silent … had I thought maybe I lost connection. “Hello, hello.” So I think it’s hard and also, in describing like being a trainer, when I had been divorced and started dating, I you know, I even went out with someone who said, “Oh, I hesitated contacting you, because you were a trainer.” So I figured you would not be I guess he figured I might not be very smart to talk to you. So…

Lesley Logan
Oh my God, what a jerk. And also like, you need he needs to meet more people. (Lesley and Tina laughs) You know, like …

Tina Tang
… Yeah, yeah, I think people there’s just gonna be always some kind of judgment. Yeah, and he needs to meet more people.

Lesley Logan
I mean, that’s just that that’s on him and a loss for him because he, you know, but, but also, maybe you surprised him and change the stereotype around how (Tina laughs) some of the smartest (Tina: I hope so) people I know are trainers, like, you know what I mean? Like (Lesley laughs) So, okay, so obviously, parents were not super excited about quitting (Tina: Yeah) at Goldman Sachs. So have your own jewelry stores were very successful because you had multiple, but so how did they take you? Because I think a lot of people like … their parents opinion or thoughts, like really do keep them from doing that next thing or even just like their friends. And so how did they take it when you’re like, “Okay, I’m a trainer now,” like, had you worn them down? Like, were they like, “Alright, she’s obviously just doing her own dance,” or were they was there? Is there excitement? Are they excited that you’re a trainer? How’s it going?

Tina Tang
Oh, I’m not sure. Remember, they’re Asian parents. I’ll give you story. (Lesley laughs) I was visiting them last year. This is like, a little bit pre COVID. We went out to lunch, you know, to somewhere where only old Chinese people would go. And they saw some friends. The friends came over to our lunch table. And my mom was like, “This is my homeless daughter, Tina.” Because I rent, I don’t own a house. So I’m homeless. No, I think it’s just sometimes you’re just never gonna be … (Lesley: You’re right) what they want you to be…

Lesley Logan
You know, and I love thank you for sharing that story. (Tina laughs) And I’m sure people are like, “Oh my God, this woman’s parents,” but at the same time, like (Tina: but) they are who they are. (Tina: At the same time. They did say…) Go ahead…

Tina Tang
Yeah. That’s exactly it. Oh, no they say and say and then then she added on, “My other daughter, Dr. Tang is…” whatever she my sister was doing. So it’s kind of like, you know, you’re just gonna have …

Lesley Logan
But I again, I’m so glad you’re sharing the story because like, it hasn’t stopped you from going after what you are passionate about right now. And we aren’t going to please everybody.

Tina Tang
No. Yeah (Lesley: So…) I mean, it is really hard to, I think especially when parents don’t, because you know, no matter even if like, I’m 50 I still, like, I still like, “Oh, how come my sister’s birthday cards, my mom always make it to the wall and mine doesn’t,” you know, mine don’t. (Lesley: Yeah) But I learned that she likes a certain kind of card. (Lesley laughs) Hallmark cards are her love language … (Tina and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan
Okay, so so I guess like, how have you like, have you reconciled that so that you don’t, whether it’s your parents or anyone else? How do you reconcile that? So other people’s opinions of what you’re doing don’t stop you from doing it?

Tina Tang
Oh, that, you know, I don’t know, if there’s a formula, I think I just because I want to do it. So I just do. You know, and then sometimes, you know, I think it’s very human to sometimes question like, “Oh, if I had stayed with XYZ, would I be somewhere different?” But you know, we just have different paths, you know?

Lesley Logan
Yeah, no, we, you’re, you’re 100% correct. And I, um, I think it’s, I just I’m so glad you’re sharing this because I just I just know that some of our listeners, like, they have this dream, but somebody questions it. And it puts a doubt in their mind. And I think it’s like, you know, our friends and family their questions of doubt more, it has so much to do with them than it does with us…

Tina Tang
Yes. Yes. Actually, that’s really good point. So like, for my parents, they’re judgy is because they fled a war torn country. And so for them, it’s like security is a kind of job that has nothing to do with passion, but just straight up financial security. So yeah, anything they think is completely related to their own issues, exactly. And that’s a hard thing, I think, to try to reconcile that. Like, oh, anytime someone says something to you, or they make a comment about the way you look, it’s really like a reflection of what’s going on inside them. And we just have to remind ourselves that.

Lesley Logan
Right, right, that is, and that’s the hardest thing, because especially if the thing that they hit was something that you’re already self conscious about. (Tina: Yeah) That can be that can be, you know, I was talking with my therapist about something and she’s like, it’s, she said, you know, it was a situation and she’s like, well, you, you, you being you triggered something in her. And that is her thing. (Tina: Yeah) And you have your things but that is her thing. And I was like, “Oh, that is true. That is her thing.” And so when people are being themselves, and you being yourself trigger something in them, it is it is kind of okay to go. And that’s that’s her thing. And that’s their thing, and that it makes sense that they would think those things because they, they would they know, they fought so hard, you know, and (Tina: Yeah) they’re like, “This is what security is,” and they don’t know that there can be security in so many other things, you know? So (Tina: Yes) I want to talk about women working out and getting strong, you know, your passion is women over 40 or over 50. Who do you work with?

Tina Tang
Over 40 but I think a lot because I’m 50 like I understand what especially going through menopause, I might even be post menopause right now, officially. But knowing these struggles, but I in knowing these struggles, I see even more so how important strength training is, at least starting in your 40s. Because sometimes by 50, when there’s a statistic that that sticks out in my head, it’s 67% of women 50 or 50 in their 50s have either osteoporosis or low bone mass, and that really sticks out my head. I’m like, “Oh, that means also that in order to not be that you’ll have started have started some kind of weight bearing exercise before that age.” So over 40s, over 50s.

Lesley Logan
Awesome! So what do you think? Um, I mean, obviously, for so many reasons, bone health, and just general health is great. And that’s why you should strength training but like, what do you see most change when women start to lift weights and, and work out? Like do you see changes and how they see themselves? Do you see changes in how they engage or go after things? Like what are some of the other byproducts besides like, being strong or strengthening your bones?

Tina Tang
That’s such a, oh, such a that’s such a huge question. I love it. (Lesley and Tina laughs) I mean, it really is because especially since we’re we we are coaches, we see it, I can tell you, let’s see, I have a couple clients that are in their mid 50s. And they recently got to their first pushup. So literally, they’re like, “I feel like I’m seven” and telling my mom like, “Oh my god, I did it. I did it.” So I think it’s just like this excitement and because it’s something unexpected. They never thought they could do that in their 50s because they never did it before. So it’s like surprised at how, at how at what they could do even at an age where it seems like you can’t really you’re just going downhill. You know, like technically people think …

Lesley Logan
That’s they what tell us. All the media tells us … they are going downhill after a certain age, (Tina: Yeah) they stopped selling you anything they stop… Everyone over 50 are not going to get those ads anymore for clothes or anything tasty …

Tina Tang
Yeah, you’re saying “Hello, this is where the spending money’s at?” (Tina laughs)

Lesley Logan
Yes! Oh, there’s a woman that I’m hoping to interview soon, she has a whole newsletter on products and businesses about that are actually directed towards women over 40. Um…

Tina Tang
Oh, that’s so awesome …

Lesley Logan
It’s really cool.

Tina Tang
I can’t wait to hear that one.

Lesley Logan
I know, I know, I gotta get the information. I wish I could shout her out right now. But um, but I don’t have all of it. I just I’m excited about about talking with her. But it’s it’s such an interesting thing that there are so many women in that age group. That is where the expendable income is that the right word, like extra income is and, and people very few people target it, and they just “Oh, whatever, you’ve reached a certain age.” And so you just like, it’s, I love that. I love that they do a push up when they’re celebrating because it is so true. Like, we think because we haven’t done it. We can’t do it. But it’s actually like, well, because you haven’t done it, but you can’t do it. (Tina: Yeah, yeah) Um, so Okay, so, you know, I want to just touch base a little bit on anyone who might be like going through a divorce or any in something new I lost her job or something like that, because they’re all very similar. (Tina: Yeah) What was it aside from like, was it the working out that helped you with that? Or like, what was it that helped you kind of like, get over that experience in your life? Like, what were the what was the what was going through your head that you’re like, how did you feel about yourself? And then how did you get yourself to where you are?

Tina Tang
First of all, anyone that’s listening, that’s getting a divorce or divorced, congratulations. I know, none of us want to hear when we’re going through it. Nobody wants to hear “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Like, no, “Congratulations. It’s a new stage in your life.” And I have to say it is probably for most people is for me, is one of the darkest times. So assuming that you’re going to get through it smoothly is I mean, unless it was a very short marriage, you know, like, you know, like a quick mistake kind of thing like, “Oh, we should get married, oh nevermind,” I think it’s going to be the darkest time in most people, people’s lives, which is okay, because then you come out eventually on the other side, you feel sad, you feel lost. You question like, “What was I thinking when I made that choice?” But at that time when you said yes, and wanted to it was right, you know, it was right, and all the things aligned with you and this other person at that time. And then it just whatever it was the reasons, the paths that we went through, just kind of diverged. So I think, and I for women, this is going to be most relevant since we have such a good support system. I would not have gotten through that without my best friend. I think I even stayed with her in her apartment for a month during that time. I mean, I know he went to the gym everything but yeah, I think it’s just your your social support. (Lesley Yeah) Having an unjudging friend and most friends, I think best friends are not going to judge. (Lesley: Yeah) They’re there, they’re there for the, for everything.

Lesley Logan
Oh, thank you for saying that. I do think it’s like, I feel for people who go through it, because there’s just so again, so much that the outside world puts on us about a divorce, like it’s a failure, or it’s like, like the like, “How could you let this happen? You must have done something,” like, and it’s like, why we don’t look at them as successes. And like, that was the length of relationship and you did all of that with that person. And now it’s like, you know, the next stage, and I am always impressed. And I think I fall into this like as an interesting way. Like, when I hear people like, my friends who celebrate 25 years of marriage, I was like, “That is amazing.” But like, it’s also amazing. If you had a 10 year marriage, and it ended like it’s still an incredible time to be. So I think it’s great for us to acknowledge that it’s a celebration that you’re on this next journey. And (Tina: yeah) so like, your I love that you said, lean into your support system. I think that’s I think we withdraw. I think when we and I don’t know if it’s embarrassment, or just thinking that people might say something that they we have no idea what’s going on in their minds. But I know when I left my ex, thankfully, I had a few people in my life whose couches I could stay on. (Lesley laughs) Which is very helpful because it’s hard to it’s hard to untangle and unweave a life you had with someone to get going and the next thing it’s not like you just go, “Okay, I made this decision. And I could do the next thing.” (Tina: Yeah) Yeah.

Tina Tang
Yeah. Because there’s like, it’s like even and then I’m sure you think but now like when you look back at the relationship, like “Oh, God, that seemed like a different person too,” you know?

Lesley Logan
Right, both people. No, I am I share this a lot with people when they go through any kind of a breakup or like they will leave a job that they’re like, “This is like the worst thing for me.” It’s like, one of the I remember I went through I had a different therapist at the time and I had quit her during during my relationship and I called her up when I left him, and I was like, I got into the meeting and I said, “Okay, you could just say I told you so.” And she said, “Well, won’t say that,” she’s like, “Because I had no idea what was gonna happen.” She’s like, “But you have to ask yourself,” like, “What were the red flags you ignored in the beginning?” Right? Because there were … there were signs that you ignored. And, and so what were those, and then you just have to add that way, when you go dating, or you go looking for another job, or whatever it is, you just ask yourself, like, “How red is this flag? Is it orange? Is it yellow?” (Tina: Yeah) And you can like pull the strings like I remember, I was on a date, and somebody says, and I was like, “Ooh, red flag,” but instead of just judging it, I said, “Oh, tell me more about that.” You know, “Explain that to me. What is that?” And so, and so I got to learn so much more about myself in that and then also I can see why the me before said yes to those things. And I can see why the me before went into that relationship. And I can see what the me before stayed in that relationship because like we we don’t we forget that we were someone else, like we are constantly (Tina: Yeah) changing. We’re constantly learning.

Tina Tang
Yeah, it’s, it’s true. Like, whatever it was, at that time in your life, you needed that, whatever that energy was, or what they did and stuff. Like with my ex husband, I wouldn’t have had jewelry stores without him because he was a he was an electrician who could build he was like a union electrician. So he built out most of my store. So I wouldn’t have done that without him. You know what I mean?

Lesley Logan
Oh, you’re I wouldn’t have read my book without my ex because he was one who was like, “You have to write this book.” And I was like, “I’m not an author, (Tina: Oh, really?) like, who would read a book from me?” Yeah! (Lesley laughs)

Tina Tang
Yeah. So it was we made we made the right decision. We needed that at that moment in our life.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, everyone, like, you know, everything is happening for us and it’s all part of it. And you get to it’s easier to connect the dots when you’re on the other side. It’s a lot harder when you’re in it. So it’s just… (Tina: Yes) You know, (Tina: Yeah) so I’m just so grateful for you sharing the story. I really think that like, you, you’re you’re living such a full life and you are exploring, and you’re what you’re passionate about. And that’s becoming like, and that’s the world you live in. I think it’s really cool, Tina. I, I wonder like, What is, what are you? What are you excited about now? Like, what are you working on right now that you’re that’s getting you excited?

Tina Tang
Oh, I have, I have a, trying to think of the way to describe it… It’s an online strength class community that I founded with, actually this one woman I met also through our coach, our business coach, so we cofounded it together and it’s basically live strength classes. And a community called Straight Up Strong. And we just it’s been it’s our one year anniversary, and I’m really excited to keep it growing. Because it’s, it’s just really fun to watch all these women. I think our average is like women, they’re around 47. Like if you average out everybody, just getting stronger and doing all this stuff at home and feeling really good about themselves. So that’s I think that’s what I’m most excited about right now.

Lesley Logan
Oh, that’s so beautiful. We had on my guest Sandra Chuma and her father had said “You’re successful mean nothing if you don’t bring people with you.” And … (Tina: Oh, I love that.) Isn’t that so good? And so when you share it, you’re like… just knowing you and how passionate about bringing his own along and helping them strengthen you bring him in a group together. Like it just made me think of that, like, you know, like your because of how you’re doing with these women in a group. Like it’s just you know, your success is like unstoppable because of like you’re bringing people with you on this journey.

Tina Tang
Can I have you in my back pocket? So you can tell me good stuff like that all the time? (Tina laughs)

Lesley Logan
Yeah. This is recorded. So … (Tina and Lesley laughs)

Tina Tang
That’s why we are all listening to this …

Lesley Logan
Okay, where can people find you? Or can they stalk you? Or can they workout with you?

Tina Tang
Oh, I love it. On Instagram, I’m @ironstrongfit and then my group classes and you can find on Instagram or on the website but is called Straight Up Strong. So that’s the Instagram handle or the website is straightupstrong.com.

Lesley Logan
Love that so much. Okay, so we ask every guest because I love people’s stories. I think they’re super inspiring. Like, they’re, it’s, you know, there’s all lots of good stuff here. And then if people are sitting and taking notes, I’m sure they get some good things, but just in case, they need sound bites of like what are some things they can do right now, to prioritize Being It Till They See It? So I like to think of be it till they see it, I’ve made it bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps that they could take right now.

Tina Tang
Don’t follow your passion, follow your curiosity.

Lesley Logan
Oh, oh, (Tina laughs) I like that. Tell me but tell me more like what? Why why follow why why not follow the passion because a lot of people go, “Oh, do what you’re passionate about. You’ll be like rich forever.”

Tina Tang
Because I think it’s hard for people to sometimes know what you’re passionate about. Like as a kid, I’ve always been artistic. So it’s natural. I ended up designing jewelry but you know there’s a lot of people who are like, “I don’t know what I mean, I played this or I did that when I was younger.” But you won’t know what you’re good at, or passionate about until you kind of test it out. Like, you know, I mean so …

Lesley Logan
You’re 100% because whenever I hear those like memes about follow your passions, and you’ll be happy forever, it’s like, if you are on the depths of something like you just got out of a divorce, or you just lost your job. It’s really hard to feel passion about anything. (Lesley laughs) (Tina: Yeah, yeah) So I appreciate your honesty there. That is such a good one, I think, um, can might pique people’s curiosity.

Tina Tang
Like I’m always surprised when someone’s like, “Oh, I love pole dancing.” Like how did they find pole dancing? They, you know, they obviously were curious about it. (Tina laughs)

Lesley Logan
Right. That’s amazing. That’s such a good one. Well, Tina, thank you for that. I think everyone can start to be more curious this week. And just follow those and see where it leads you. And then do a huge favor a screenshot this tag @ironstrongfitness. That’s was your handles @ironstrongfitness?

Tina Tang
Oh, @ironstrongfit …

Lesley Logan
@ironstrongfit, excuse me, (Tina: Yeah) it’s in the show notes everyone, messy action over here. Screenshot this, tag @ironstrongfit, and @be_it_pod and let us know what you’re being curious about. Let us know what your takeaways were. So that not only can Tina hear what you loved about this, but other people can as well. And that’s how we get this podcast out. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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