Girl, Stop

Apologizing

Ep. 89 ft. Wild Honey Band

“Let things go and go with it”

Laura Cain

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Bio

What started as a desperate desire for comraderie and purpose became the all-female band, Wild Honey.

With eight daughters under the age of seven, Laura Cain, Jessica Niedermayer, and Shelby Knudsen decided they needed to find a reason to get together. Something that wouldn’t be so easily cancelled when things got chaotic, which was almost always.

After much discussion, they landed on a band. Shelby played some campfire guitar and Jess grew up surrounded by music and musicians, although she carried a deep fear of performing. Laura had an unspoken dream to play the violin. A band seemed perfect. It couldn’t be that hard, right?

Ten years later, and Wild Honey is going strong. Aside from the band, Laura has earned her masters in councelling and opened her own thriving practice. Jess became a pilates instructor and opened a private studio called Free Rein Pilates, recently deciding to step away from instructing to focus on her cattle ranch. Shelby published a novel called Mountain Girl, and has completed two more which are waiting for publication. She was the editor-in-chief at Kootenay Living Magazine prior to the pandemic.

In 2019 Wild Honey released their first album, Distant Skies. They are currently working on their second. They have faced moments on stage, back stage, and trying to get to the stage, that have almost broken them, but they have always chosen to continue. The vulnerability and raw fear of performing have humbled them to their cores, but after a good cry and a gin martini, they keep going.

The early days of babies, breast pumps, and peeling kids off their legs to go play in bars are over. Now they share beautiful stages with talented musicians who inspire them. They write songs about their journey as women and mothers. They have stopped apologizing. Period. For wanting something for themsleves and for failing at it long before they succeeded. For not being perfect. They’re not sorry. They’re grateful. They won’t tell you it’s easy, but they will tell you that you deserve to try. You deserve to try and to fail and not say sorry. Because that’s life, and while you’re lucky enough to be here, you might as well jump in with both feet.

Wild Honey plays annually with Barney Bentall and the Cariboo Express, and have been

honoured to share a stage with great talents like The Odds, Leeroy Stagger, Ryland Moranz, and many others. More info on the band is available on their website –

www.wildhoneyband3.com or follow them on Facebook and Instagram.

Show Notes

A band that was built from a group of women who finally stopped apologizing for taking time to themselves. Life gets busy. There are kids, jobs, and commitments that can make it hard to show up for yourself but these ladies show us the magic that happens when you finally do.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • Taking time for you, yourself as a mom
  • Letting yourself be vulnerable to do the thing you may not be good at yet
  • Importance of sisterhood
  • Figuring out the important people to begin taking action with

References/Links:

Transcript

INTRODUCTION

Lesley Logan 0:00
Hey, Be It babe, how are you? I can’t even wait for you to get into this interview. This is my first time interviewing three people at once. And it’s our first time having a band on here. And we have a special gift for you at the end. So please, please stick around to the entire thing, because we’re going to have an amazing song for you. We have the Wild Honey Band with us. They are three amazing women, moms of eight girls. So where are my parents at? And they like … I think one of them didn’t even play an instrument when they got together. And we’re been playing the violin for three months. And so I just when I hear… I met these women when I was in Canada, and I like went up to them. And I was like, “I need to have you on my podcast.” Like, I didn’t even say, “Hi, I’m Lesley like, this is who I am.” I just was like, “This is what I want. And this is why I want you.” And their story is freakin’ beautiful. They literally are being it until they see it. And they’ve been a band for nine years now. I mean, just like, so cool. And even if you’re like, “Lesley, I don’t want to play music.” I need you to see yourself like every time you hear a band, I need to hear, say book club or writer or, you know, maybe you want to be in knitting or maybe maybe you are not even trying to start anything else. But you’re just wishing you had more, more conscious conversations that were like, deeper, like beyond the surface of people, if that’s what you’re wanting, then this is the podcast for you. There are so many takeaways throughout the conversation. But when you get to the BE IT items, I mean, like goodness, these women are powerful. And in the shownotes, you’ll be able to see how you can listen to all of their music, and get to know them more, and I hope that you do, I hope that you do. And, you know, please give yourself the space and grace to, to just try. Right? To just like take the action. And I, when you listen to this, I think you’ll hear why I say, “space and grace” because it really does matter. It really makes a difference. And who knows nine years from now you could be on someone else’s interview, sharing how you got started. Right? So thank you for being here. And thank you for letting me bring beautiful humans into your ears each and every week. It is an honor that I do not take lightly and you give me like, I don’t know like a thirst to find the next person to inspire you in ways that are beyond your wildest dreams. So after this brief message, Wild Honey.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

Hello, Be It listener. All right. I have like a trio for you. This is our first actual trio. I am so thrilled. Y’all when I, I was in Canada and I was in Calgary and I went to this event and they had a band. And it was these women who one of them or maybe all of our Pilates instructors, or at least one of them what is and they started to play and then they started to tell their story. And I was like, “Oh, they have to be on the podcast.” I cannot wait for you to hear the story. If you are a mom, if you’ve ever thought you don’t even know how to play an instrument. If you ever thought you don’t have to do anything like this is the episode for you. I would love for you to see yourself in the stories of these women. So ladies, Wild Honey Band is here we have; Laura, Jessica and Shelby. Hi. (Wild Honey Band: Hi Lesley. Hello. Hello.) Oh my goodness, listen to these voices. So okay, I would love for you all to introduce yourselves. So we’ll just start, I got Shelby on the screen now. We’ll start with Shelby. Who, like tell us who you are? Like, what do you play? What, how’d you get here? And then we’ll just go through the whole band.

Wild Honey Band 4:27
Shelby: Wow. Okay, how did I get here? Give me an hour. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) At least… Well, my name is Shelby and I I’m … Okay, I got to tell you a little bit first because this is kind of interesting. Laura is my sister in law. So, Laura married my brother and Jess married the guy that I grew up next door to … (Lesley: Stop right now.) Yes. So, we’re living … (Lesley: Stop)

Laura: With my husband’s best friend. Yeah. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs)

Lesley Logan 4:56
This is amazing. (Wild Honey Band: Yeah) Oh my gosh.

Wild Honey Band 4:58
Shelby: So that is just to sort of start with where we all got together. But I grew up in Cranbrook, a small town in Canada, and I kind of went into the science stuff. I was always like a nerdy science person. And when I had my first daughter, the first of two, I sort of had this like epiphany of kind of wanting to do something artistic. And it started with writing. So I kind of became a writer then, and I’ve been writing ever since. But when the girls came into my life through the boys, because I grew up with eight boys on the street. (Lesley: Wow) And yeah, so I was definitely like a tomboy, kind of, like always trying to prove I was tough… And then I had my first baby, and then you realize, like, all the emotions come spilling out. So that happened. So I started writing. And then I was definitely like searching for. I think friendships that were sort of deeper, and where I could be more myself. (Lesley: Hmm) And I could be, be wrong and be failing and be struggling. And that would be okay. And then the girls, you know, kind of married into this boyhood that I was in a part of. And we very quickly realized that because we had all these kids, there’s eight daughters, between the three of us.

You all have, all only girls.

Only girls, (Lesley: and there’s eight …) only girls. (Lesley: Wow) (Lesley and Wild Honey band laughs) Yes, and all of our, all of our husbands were like, “What the hell happened?” But yes, we have eight girls. And so we kind of, we just needed a reason. We felt like, we were like always like, “Oh, we’ll get together, we’ll get together and then … blow that off. (Lesley: Yeah) It’s so easy to be like, “I can’t because I got to drive here and this is going on.” So we decided we needed like a real reason and something that would make us show up. And that’s where the band came from. So that’s sort of how I got here. I’m still a writer, I’ve published a novel, and I’ve got another one on the go here. And but for the band, that’s sort of where the band started nine years ago, and we’re still going strong.

Lesley Logan 7:11
That is amazing. Okay, so Laura, I want you to pick it up, tell everyone who you are. But also, I do, let’s make sure we put a pin and come back to that where women tend to do the whole, “Oh, yeah, let’s hang out. Let’s hang out and then we don’t.” Right? Wait, we’re gonna come back to that. (Wild Honey Band: Hmm) So Laura, tell us everything.

Wild Honey Band 7:29
Laura: Oh hello, I’m Laura. And I am the violin player in the band. And it’s funny because I still, when that rolls out of my mouth, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe that.” Because when I started with this band, I had been playing an instrument like period in my life for about three months. And it was a violin and I …

You even play only for three months. You’re like, some point, you’re like, (Laura: I’m like …) “I’m gonna play the viol… I’m taking violin lessons.”

Laura: Yeah. And usually you wouldn’t start with a violin, but ignorance is bliss. And I rolled with it. And yeah, it was, it was a bit of a convoluted way. I’ve always wanted to be a violin player. And so I signed up my daughter at the time, because I’m just gonna live vicariously through her. And I was sitting at her violin lessons, it was this sort of group lesson. And all us parents were sitting in the back row, like against the wall. And the kids were all playing and I’m like, “Why am I just sitting here? Like, I want to play the violin.” So I went down to the music store here in my, our little town and bought this cheap adult sized violin and brought it to our next (Lesley laughs) you know, children’s fiddle lesson (Wild Honey Band laughs) and pulled my chair forward from all the rest of the parents, far enough so I can see their looks because I’m like, “Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” And I just started to play along because I’m like, “This is what I want to do.” So that’s how I started and three months later, like, “Well, I could be in a band … (Wild Honey Band laughs) (Lesley: Oh my …) Kind of a bad idea, but a wonderful idea at the same time. So yeah.

Lesley Logan 9:15
Well, obviously, you’re listening to your brain and in your body. Like you’re being called into that and to like to take a seat away from where the parents are like that is like, oh, my gosh, scary and out of the comfort (Wild Honey Band: Hmm) zone for everyone. I was listening to a podcast today. This woman was like, “I’m doing adult tap les… lessons. She’s like, was like three ladies and a 14 year old whose mother just sat in the room.” And I was like, “Why didn’t mom… it’s an adult tap class. Why didn’t mom like …” But it’s true, (Wild Honey Band: Yeah. Totally) because sometimes we think, “Oh, this is for them.” And really, you’re like, “I want … thank you for sharing that. That’s beautiful.” (Wild Honey Band: Yeah.) Alright, Jess, you’re up.

Wild Honey Band 9:50
Jessica: Okay, I’m Jess and I play the guitar in the band. And, I’m also do vocals but I was… So I had, I grew up in Vancouver, BC. And then when I met my husband, we kind of lived all over the place. And then we settled back in Cranbrook where he’s originally from. And by the time we settled back here, we just had our third daughter, and life was going great. And I was like, “This is going amazing. I’m kicking ass being a mom and wife and doing all these things.” And then shit hit the fan. (Wild Honey Band laughs) And I was all of a sudden, like, “Oh, my God, I’m overwhelmed.” Overwhelmed with life, with the kids, with just like settling down, with so many things. And so when (Thank God, Shelby and Laura, were here,) and there was mention of this band, and so many things are going through my head, like, “I can’t do that. I had …” My dad’s a professional musician, my brother’s a freshman musician. I never went down that road. And I was like, I, like, “I can’t, I can’t do that.” Just thinking of imposter syndrome and all that, but I knew that I needed it. I was like, “I need this. I gotta make this work. I’m just gonna go to the first band meeting.” (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs)

Shelby: It’s another story.

Jessica: So, I showed up, and I was like, “l’ll play the drums. That’s what I’ll do.” Because I used to play the drums a little bit for my brother. We didn’t have drums. So I grabbed a cardboard box. So like I will start on the cardboard box and give you a little beat. And then from there, I got some bongos, I got a jombay. I got all sorts of different drums, and then settled on the guitar. But that might be a little bit of a better idea for me and, and just started playing and struggled a lot …

… Did you play the guitar before you were in the band? Like, did you even know what you were doing? (Lesley laughs)

Jessica: No. No. I’d watched a lot, like, I watched my dad a lot, I watched my brother a lot. I’d been around music my whole life and been around all parts of making music and playing and watching from side stage and all of that. So I had been around it a ton, but I was terrified to do it myself because I was terrified, you know, screwing up or sounding bad or whatever. And then …

Laura: Well, you’re brother told you, you sounded horrible.

Jessica: Yes, there was that too. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs)

Lesley Logan 12:23
Yeah, because people tell us … no one people say the thing that we already were thinking. Like, that’s just like, nail on the cot. Like that is the worst, right? Like when it’s and almost, like, I almost wonder if you would even have heard it had you not been saying it to yourself, but it’s like, you know, we like you know what I mean? Like, because it’s (Jessica: Absolutely) this thing that we’re already doubting when someone says it, it just becomes that thing. (Jessica: Absolutely) So that’s hard to get over.

Wild Honey Band 12:47
Jessica: Yeah, it was. And I think you’re right, like if I hadn’t heard that, or been thinking that if I just been, you know, out there, like, “Oh, I’m gonna start this band. I’m gonna be amazing.” I wouldn’t heard any of that. But all the things I was doubting, as soon as somebody said, said something, I was like, “Oh, no, oh, no, here it comes.” But we just stuck with it. And, and it was the most amazing thing for all three of us. But I you know, speaking, from my own heart, it was I needed it so badly. And it just helped kind of get my life, like, just feeling that I could still that I could still do things. That I, that I didn’t have to just sit at home and, and feel like I was kind of in this trap, I guess I felt trapped. And so this just gave an opening to, you know, I can still do all these things. I still can learn something new. I still can, you know, work at something. And I don’t know, just get creative. And and it just it opened, it opened a big door for me.

Lesley Logan 12:51
That’s beautiful. Thank you all for sharing that. And I want to say like, I want to kind of go back to you guys decided to have a band practice. Is that because you were having trouble getting together consistently or because you needed to have like, almost felt like you had more and more of a reason to get together than just like three moms hanging out?

Wild Honey Band 14:14
Shelby: Right? Yeah, I will jump there. Because I think for we, we just sort of felt like there was almost like a bit of a stereotype that as moms if we were going to get together, it was just, you know, all we could do if we got together was like drink wine and talk about celebrities or I don’t know. Which not that we don’t drink wine because we do. But it seems like like the bo… the men and the men in our lives are all they’re amazing guys, but they’re all, they all have a lot of different hobbies and they’re hunters and they go fishing and hunting and all these things. And we just didn’t have the thing that wasn’t … something that seems silly. And I think too, you fall into a trap I think as a woman where you feel so guilty, if you leave your kids for any amount of time with their father, to go and pursue something that might seem selfish at the time, that, you know, sometimes you almost feel like if someone cancels, you’re almost relieved. And even if it’s just to get together to talk, which is so important, and literally have a four hour band practice, we sometimes spend three and a half hours talking, and kind of working through things that we really needed to work through. But we showed up every time once a week for band practice, because it was this thing that we were doing. And, and I think, you know, it gave us permission to be like, “Here’s the kids. This is my time, and I’m going.” And I think as women, we we have a hard time finding that, that as moms.

Lesley Logan 15:47
I … you’re 100% correct. I hate when I hear people say like dad’s babysitting. Like that’s (Wild Honey Band: Yes) like, I don’t I don’t have kids, but like, nothing irks me more. (Wild Honey Band: Yeah) It’s like, parent too, also a parent also, (Wild Honey Band: Yeah) was part of that, big part of that. (Lesley laughs) (Wild Honey Band: Totally) So I, you know, I think that they, I think also, you said something about how guys have like a hobby. So they have, like, they have football that they watch or whatever sports that they get together. And like, with… it’s easy for us just to go. I don’t mean like even we don’t have kids and my husband’s like, “Oh, I’m going to my band practice.” And I’m like, “Okay, what do I do?” (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) (Wild Honey Band: Exactly) What do I do? You know, and like, it’s it is hard, like my girlfriends who what we get together? It’s like, “Oh, let’s have coffee.” You have like you never get together for coffee that is rarely happening, because that is the easiest thing to cancel. So I love that you ladies created something that can’t be canceled. You have to have band practice. (Lesley laughs)

Wild Honey Band 16:45
Shelby: Yes, yeah, we have a gig, we have to practice on it. And it really changed the priority of doing it. And, and when we did get … like, that was our time. And it wasn’t our time to be looking after the kids. I mean, a lot of times we did have the kids around. But it was something that we were going to like pursue this passion. And it really turned into that for us for sure.

Lesley Logan 17:10
Laura, and I would love to hear so you guys hear that you’re going to have a gig. And you’ve been playing the violin for three months. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) Can you take us back? Like what because obviously, like, practicing together and having band practice is one thing like drumming on a box. And like for your girls is like one thing, but actually like doing this in public? Like what was going through your head? And like, how did you get ready for that?

Wild Honey Band 17:34
Laura: Oh, my gosh, that’s yeah, what a great question. Because it was absolutely something that I I really struggled with. And I still struggle with it. Like I still, I still do. And I’m nine years in now. And but at the beginning, I think part of it, you know, I sort of I do sort of joke a little bit like ignorance is bliss, like I really, my ear wasn’t developed at that point. And I’m so thankful because I could just, you know, get up and just kind of like, “I don’t know if this is sharp or flat, like.” (Wild Honey Band laughs) So there is that. But I and you know, the thing about playing the violin too is when you when you’re nervous, like for me, your bow starts to shake down your violin. So it’s a very, you can almost you can hear the nerves is through the instrument. And so finding ways to, yeah, to sort of ca… and sort of talk myself, to talk myself down and just and and find this place of, you know, what we’re doing is really cool. And I had to really hold on to that and be really proud of us because what we were doing was really, really hard. And, and I and I knew that and so being in a place of having to accept that we are going to make mistakes, and we’re not going to by any stretch of the imagination be perfect. And, and so we very quickly, I think learned that as a band, one of the things that we really connect well, I think with our audience is, is by being vulnerable. And people really, you know, could see that in us, see, see how vulnerable we were being and and how scary it was. And I think there was some solace and in knowing that there was, there is beauty in allowing people into that part of us and to see it and it really … this this this unspoken connection between human, one human being to another of this you know, I can be vulnerable and so can you and you know, we are going to make mistakes and we’re going to get through those mistakes. And we’re going to take these as learning opportunities and you know, sort of cheer each other on and was the thing I had, you know, like, flanked with my, you know, two of my best friends and we were in it together. And so I think that also made it more tolerable. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs)

Lesley Logan 20:14
Yeah, you’re not up there by yourself. (Laura: No) You know, I love that you brought at making mistakes because I remember it was like the last Coachella before, you know everything shut down to tell us like a festival concert down here and (Wild Honey Band: Yeah) both Lizzo and Billie Eilish both forgot their words at the same concert. Like forgot the words to their songs (Wild Honey Band: Yeah) on a stage (Wild Honey Band: Wow) with thousands of people watching, thousands of people and like, the reality is is like, we’re all gonna make mistakes. How many times have they sung those songs? You know, and and I just think it’s like, … like we we think that people are expecting perfection. And you know what I watched in the documentary because Billie Eilish, her moment was on her documentary, and people were just singing the words for her. They just started singing for her. And (Wild Honey Band laughs) so I think we have to give people the opportunity to celebrate us and support us and you know, ((Wild Honey Band: Yeah) yeah.

Wild Honey Band 21:14
Laura: I think one of the things too, I’ve learned is people don’t really, it’s hard to be around a so called quote unquote, “perfect person.” Right? It’s not like super comforting. It’s not a great feeling to be around something that in your eyes is perfect. I don’t I just I think you know, your own faults just become so like highlighted then. And you’re just like, “Oh my gosh…” like, and so we certainly give people an opportunity to be around imperfection. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) (Lesley: Yeah) (Jessica: Yes, you do.)

Lesley Logan 21:51
Well, we always say like… (Laura: There’s the sound bite.) Yeah. You do. You that is a sound bite. Well, they’ll get a quote card on that for sure. But (Wild Honey Band laughs) I, we go, hear at the pod like nobody wants to be friends with perfect, like nobody. (Wild Honey Band: Totally) Nobody and I was on someone else’s pod. And they asked, they asked and I’m like, “I think about it.” Like when you go to a perfect person’s house. Like when everything is perfect. You’re like, “Are my, (Wild Honey Band: It sucks.) are my socks even clean enough?” To be honest… (Wild Honey Band: Do they match?) Right? Did they, probably not. I’m probably like, two ankle socks. It’s not a big deal. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) (Wild Honey Band: Totally) So …

Wild Honey Band 22:26
Shelby: Jess, I think you should tell Lesley just real quick what our first song was called.

Lesley Logan 22:29
Yeah, I need to hear this.

Wild Honey Band 22:30
Jessica: Yes. Okay. So our first song was called “Perfect ain’t real.” (Lesley and Wild Honey laughs) And we wrote it in Nashville. And it was all about not being perfect. And just about what we were just talking about. And we played it. My dad had us out to Vancouver to just help us with our music. And we played the song for him. And then after he just paused for a while, and and he’s like, “Are you girls, okay?” (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) … And we’re like, “Yeah, we’re actually great.” And he’s like, “That was awesome.” But yeah, that was our first song. And wow, we played that on stage a couple times. And yeah, it was … (Laura: It was in tears.) it was important for … there was tears. Yeah. And it was important for us to just write those words because I think at the time, we were all trying to be perfect moms and perfect wives and perfect in our jobs and perfect everywhere. And and then, you know, with that mindset, like you just, you start to become not okay with failure, and you start judging yourself and everything. It’s just a terrible mindset to be in. So as soon as we released that, and we were like, “Hey, we are not perfect. We’re not close to being perfect.” And that is what that’s really the beautiful part of us, you know, when we’re coming together and we’re, we’re okay, just being who we are flaws and all and we’re going to let other people know that that’s okay, too. And that’s where a lot of our songwriting has come from, and, and our message when we’re when we’re playing our shows.

Lesley Logan 24:08
So because you have eight girls, between the three of you is that like, I just imagine that how amazing it is for them to have three women in their lives because obviously like you’re probably two aunts, or some one of you is probably an aunt … (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) And to have all these women in your lives not trying to keep up this perfection. I mean, have you seen, is that affected your daughter’s childhood? Have you seen it be different than the way that you were raised? Like is it was that even something you were even consciously aware of when you were doing this or it’s like a great thing that’s happened?

Wild Honey Band 24:46
Jessica: Well, I’ll jump in quickly there. I was raised in a home that really was a very loving accepting home, so I, the whole perfection thing didn’t come, I was never expected to be perfect growing up. But I do, I put the own pressure on myself. And I think that, as I saw what that was doing, to me putting that pressure on myself, like I started to get really bad anxiety and really struggling with that. And I just decided, like, “I don’t want my girls to feel this way.” Shelby and Laura as well, like we all talked about that just wanting our girls to just feel love for, you know, between the eight of them, they’re also different, they all have different interests. And I think just sort of allowing that their own personalities to grow and giving them space so that they can be unique in their own way and not feel like they have to fit some mold that, you know, you’re constantly trying to be shoved into just what society. So our message, I think, it has been really strong to them. And, and has been, I think they just, they really admire what we’re doing. And they they’re really proud of us and to see them, you know, at our shows so we can … you know, they’re recently at a show of ours, and we’re sitting singing to them, and they’re looking at up at us, was just an incredible, incredible moment. (Lesley: So cool.)

Shelby: Yeah, I’ll just jump in, because the song that we sent to the show, I think you’ll might play it at the end, but it’s called “Blood Harmony.” And I wrote that song watching my girls, when they were little, because they had this amazing relationship as as sisters. And I think it’s something as women were, you know, they were they were the hardest on each other. But they were also the most loving. And there was so much forgiveness in the way they went back and forth. And I watched it and I realized that in our 20s and 30s, we might as women kind of lose that a bit. And then it just seems so precious to me this sisterhood. And this, like having each other’s backs and I actually had gone through during the life of the band gone through kind of I don’t know what you’d call it, someone kind of publicly attacked me. And it was really, really hard. And it took a major toll on me and on my family and my girls here, were always there for me through the whole thing, and I don’t know how I would have gotten through it without them. And it’s sort of like just kind of getting your people around you. And you don’t need to have that many but you’re special people that love you. And I saw that in my si… my girls. And I feel it with with these girls that I again, I didn’t have sisters growing up. So there’s this special bond with women when we when we like strip away anything that we’re pretending to be and just be who we really are, you know, so that that kind of came up in the songwriting and and we’ve watched the girls you know, we’ve we’ve looked after them through this whole experience when we started they were seven to zero. And now just today actually Anna, Laura’s oldest daughter turning 17 … (Laura: Yeah)

Lesley Logan 26:51
17 Laura? Your daughter is 17?

Wild Honey Band 28:13
Laura: She’s 17 today. It’s 10, 10, 10, years. (Shelby: Yeah)

Lesley Logan 28:19
Oh my goodness, you have a little Aquarian on your hands. (Laura: I do.) (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) I only know… a dollar only know the sign that I’m in. So (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) Like a true Aquarian … (Wild Honey Band: Totally) I just have to say Shelby, that is a I really want to, it is interesting thing because when we go back in time in life, and life how we used to be very tribal, as far as like the women work together, they cook together, they raised the kids together. And like, I had a guest on Jenn Pike, and I feel like it was her, it was I’ve talked to her three times. So it could have been a different conversation. My feel like in that podcast were you know, even when we were having our cycle, there were actual women who who cycle on purpose was on the opposite, so that they could care for all the women so that the women could actually just be in that space. And just take care and nurse because they’re like building a fucking organ everyone so like … (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) that they could like friends and I just think that like what you’re talking about is the thing that like, as glorious as it is to live in the times we do. One of the things we’ve lost and especially in women is this idea of like being together and and sharing truthfully and vulnerably. And, you know, even Glennon Doyle mentioned like she was at a park with her kids one day and some was like, “Oh, how are you?” And Glennon it’s like, “You know, you know how there’s all volcanoes that are dormant. But they could go up at any they could go at any time.” Right? (Wild Honey Band laughs) I feel like that. And the woman like looked at her like she was like crazy. (Wild Honey Band: What?) Like, we should remove your children. And she’s like, “Oh, we’re not we’re not doing that, we’re not doing that.” And what you are all doing with your, with your band, what you’re actually showing your daughters, and even the people who see you is like, no, you actually should get together and you do need to share your feelings. And you do need to have people that you’re with regularly. And so I think it’s just really beautiful, beautiful. And we will be playing that song at the end, everyone. So stay at the end (Wild Honey Band: Thank you) please. So we’re nine years in and and you know, really like, y’all were being it messy action all the way. Now that it’s nine years, do you all do have like a system? Are you still kind of just like, seeing how it goes? Like, what’s the what’s, what’s, what’s the new norm with it, now?

Wild Honey Band 30:42
Laura: That’s a really good question. It’s funny, because one of the songs that like, one of our songs that we’re recording right now is called, is is called “Let It Roll.” And it the song itself, those words mean something very different than I’m about to say right now. But that sort of version of like, let it roll, like you don’t know, I think we try to control so much as women in our lives because it’s the world is a scary place. And that things happen and, you know, scary stuff happens. And we you know, we can get hurt. And, and I think that sometimes it’s just letting go and, and letting things having this sort of faith to yeah, see where it takes you and not trying direct it too much, I think is is in the last few year. Well, of course, in the last few years, I mean, so much has been out of our control in the last few years. And, and we have such busy lives. And you know, things come out of the blue, like, you know, Jess has horses and all of a sudden, we’re like we’re slipping onto this gig. And now three of our horses are headed on a five hour trip to the vet, like you don’t know what happens, or, you know, somebody gets COVID, which is, you know, one of our kids, which is why we’re not all here together in person today. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) So you just kind of have to, I think find this place of faith to let things go and, and and go with it. And it’s funny that I am the person that (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) … (Jessica: It was like, “Go Laura.”) You two and I’m like, “Oh.”) In the band, I’m the person that doesn’t want to do that, like I am the more sort of plan or like let’s let’s have things kind of at the ready. And I think that you know, these two wonderful ladies are still teaching me this and I really see the value in it. Because now you know we have, I have lived it. I’ve lived it, you know alongside them. And I also see the beautiful places it can take you.

Lesley Logan 32:52
That’s beautiful. I, you know, I think we, I think Laura… I’m very similar. I’m very like, I’m like, “We can do this. I’ll let it roll. It’s gonna be fine.” I’m like, but did we do it on time, but (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) we do it on time because I’m (Lesley laughs) so but my husband is like, he’s like, “Lesley for five minutes, it’s not a big deal. It is a very big deal.” Like the time said this, people are excited. (Wild Honey Band laughs) You know, so I do think having people in your lives who, who, like remind you, that’s going to be okay, because I think deep down you and I know it’s gonna be okay. And we can’t control everything. And it is exhausting to do that. But it’s hard to let that go at the same time, people like you and I being there, things do get done at some time.

Wild Honey Band 33:36
Jessica: Oh, yeah. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) We also, we need our Laura in the band too. Because (Oh, yeah) there’s a lot of times where we had needed her to just be like, “Okay, ladies, let’s stay on task here.” That that also I just wanted to add on to to we’ve really made it a priority in our lives, the band. And we we decided on Thursday band practices, and we there on the calendar, our families know, we know, and we make it happen because it is one of those things that, “Okay, well, we’ll just you know, see you next time band practice,” if it’s not on the calendar, it can easily get missed for a few weeks. And then you know, that can roll into months or however long so we have really all decided to make it a priority and it feels so good. It feels so good to not only see each other on a regular basis but to really have that commitment level there. It really and it shows in our work and what we can produce and it it just it… Yeah, it feels good.

Lesley Logan 34:42
Yeah, so for the person who was like, “Okay, but I don’t, I’m not I’m not here to be on this planet to play music. I’m just saying we use band as like insert whatever it is ladies, you can be tap dancers. You could be you know, you can become mixologist in your practice.” But how did you get the families because this is like eight kids, spouses like it is what, was like the thing that got everyone to go, “Okay, you can go.” How did you get people on board so you can meet on Thursdays?

Wild Honey Band 35:11
Shelby: Yes, I love to jump this because I was just thinking about that I, I totally agree with you Lesley. And it’s interesting, I don’t want anyone to think that they’re here … Then, musicians or that like we weren’t. But also even, even if you don’t have any musical interest in you, or whatever, whatever it is, even let’s say it’s like … to read and this is your book club. I think that the key to it is, you have to believe that it’s really important. And as soon as because we had … times where we were like, “Ha ha ha. I think we’re gonna start a band. And ha ha ha, it’s funny.” And then we, we all the three of us sat down shortly after we started this. And we said, it’s not funny, it’s real. And if we don’t believe it, then everyone out no one else will believe it. Like that it’s that it’s important … So we had to decide that that was important to us and we did that. And then we said with we stopped laughing. And we just said, “We have band practice today.” And whether it’s, I have my book club tonight, or I have my writers group, or I have my tap dancing, or I have my torque class, whatever it doesn’t matter. But if that’s if you say it with conviction, then I hope that your family would respect that. (Lesley: Yeah) And we had to learn that. (Lesley: Ah…)

Laura: And it was the same for all three of us. We all (Shelby: Yeah) three did that exact thing. (Shelby: Yeah) (Jessica: Exactly)

Lesley Logan 36:37
That is the best. That is the best that is like you have, you have to believe it. And I think that is where a lot of people get stuck because they either want to control like, “Oh, if I’m not … It has to be like this for be… for me to believe it. Or when I have this and I’d like …” You guys, you all just had to go, “… nope, we’re having band practice. We believe in this, this matters.” And I just, I’m so grateful that our paths crossed, like nothing happens, your happenstance like that was meant to be meant to be, like, took me four different, five different COVID tests to get into that room. But I … (Lesley and Wild Honet Band) But we got there … (Jessica: Yeah, you did.) Yeah, I know. The other day, Brad was like, “We didn’t actually do like all any international traveling.” I was like, “We went to Canada. Don’t you remember?” That was … (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) So ladies, um, so I will have to have you back because I just, I think that our listeners could learn a lot from you. And so maybe we’ll have to get some questions in because I just think that the three of you have such different backgrounds. But and but you all have the same universal need that I think every woman does, which is like to feel like they belong, to feel like they do something that matters, and to be heard. And and I’m just so grateful that you three exist because even in your music, you’re sharing that with people and you’re opening those doors up. So we’re gonna take a brief break and then we’re come back so you all can find out you can listen to their music and follow them. So stay tuned right after this.

Alright ladies, where can people find you, follow you. Tell you howhow amazing you are and how you’ve changed their lives and they’re all gonna start a band. Where’s …(Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) (Wild Honey Band: Yes, do it.)

Wild Honey Band 38:28
Laura: We’ll be cheering for you. (Shelby: Yes, we will.) Basically, it Wild Honey Band 3 is how to search us up. So on, we’ve got a website wildhoneyband3.com. Instagram @wildhoneyband3, Facebook we’re Wild Honey Band. Our music is also on iTunes and you’d search it through Wild Honey – Distant Skies is the name of our album.

Lesley Logan 38:57
Cool. Well, we’ll have links to all of that in the show notes. I can’t wait to listen to the whole album. And after the show is over stay on. I know people like the bounce but there’s going to be the song and you’re going to want to listen to it, you’ll can save the episode in your phone and come back to it. Okay, so before I let you ladies go and it’s not Thursday, so I know you don’t have band practice but … (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) BE IT action items. This is where I really you know, it’s one thing to be inspired and it’s not I’m like but you have to take action and you can’t, you know I’m with you, Laura you and I have to work on we can’t control things, I have to let them roll. (Laura laughs) But we also have to take some action towards the thing that we want. So bold, executable, targeted, intrinsic things. What are y’all, what do you think listeners should do?

Wild Honey Band 39:42
Shelby: My first thing would be to, sit with yourself and identify who are the the women or men that you would want to do anything with. Or trust or and not that you have to do with anybody, but if you’re thinking that, I would say that, it sure helps to do it with somebody else. And I think that just sending somebody right now, if you can think of your if you’ve got a special friend or somebody that you think might want to do something with you send them a text, and just say, “Right now, I’m thinking that we need to do something. I don’t know what it is, let’s meet. And let’s, let’s do something.” And I think it has to start with that. I think it has to start … with somebody that you trust. And maybe that person hasn’t heard from you, in a long time and I don’t know. But I find those little texts where we just say, “Hey, you’re important to me,” are so important. And that little tiny bit of connection where you’re like, “I’m thinking about you.” And I know, I don’t know if that even is starts towards any kind of career. But for me, that’s, that’s huge.

Lesley Logan 40:50
I think that is so important. I do and I think especially, like, I love that you said, “I don’t know what it is.” Like, that’s okay, everyone in the transcriptions, you can just copy and paste what she said, you don’t have to rethink it, it’s gonna be down there. Copy and paste and send it to people because, you know, I think it is so true. And sometimes the people that we do talk to all the time are not necessarily the person that you might be sending this text to and that’s okay. But I have, I heard a quote today, you’re 30s and 40s are for letting the people go, that actually don’t light you up. (Wild Honey Band laughs) So send that to the person that you’re like, “Every time I’m with them, I feel good about myself.” That’s who that … (Shelby: Yeah) Thank you for that Shelby. All right, Jessica, what do you got for us?

Wild Honey Band 41:28
Jessica: I would say, show up. If you make a plan to do you know what you what you want to do show up. It’s very easy to cancel. It’s very easy to say, “No, or I don’t have time for this or I should be doing something else or I feel guilty or…” Get rid of all of that. And just show up for the thing you want to do it will be worth it. Believe in yourself, believe in what it is you want to do. Even if you think it’s a crazy idea. Just believe in it, show up and it’ll go from there.

Lesley Logan 42:01
Yeah, yeah. Well, I agree. Laura.

Wild Honey Band 42:05
Laura: See, that’s why I picked these girls, Aren’t they amazing? (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) I would say, I’m gonna piggyback on onto Shelby’s and take it one step farther. So find the people, yeah to find those people. And then I think the way that we speak to our friends flip it and use that as a as a voice for yourself towards yourself. Because I think we’re so hard on ourselves. But yet we’ll we will gift you know these words to our friends with ease. And I think we are our own selves the thing that gets in the way the most so if we can just start trying to speak to yourself once in a while as you would a friend it starts to create a whole new language … to yourself.

Lesley Logan 42:57
Oh my gosh, I am so in love with all of you. Like so … (Shelby: We love you too.) I, like like, Thank you for lining up. I mean, I swear these interviews are half this for me because I just want to have amazing conversations with people but you know it is on the day we’re recording this is my Friday afternoon and like if I’d been on Zoom for eight hours a day, five days this week in a training and I’m just like, “Whoo, here we go.” And you know, this conversation is literally like one of this is what why I created this podcast. This is this is it like because women like you are being it till you see it and you’re trying to change the women around you, trying to change the world to be that place and I think you know I’m just so grateful that you found each other. And like the universe went back pretty far to make sure that you three on each other’s path there was like many boys need to be born in one street. (Lesley and Wild Honey Band laughs) (Shelby: So true.) Oh my gosh, (Shelby: I love that) well, I can’t wait to connect and catch up with you all. Um, thank you for taking time out of your busy busy lives and happy birthday to Laura’s daughter and and thank you also for letting us play this beautiful song for our listeners and we will we’ll have you back. Everyone, please do us a huge favor, screenshot this, tag Wild Honey on Instagram, @wildhoneyband3 Instagram on and @be_it_pod with your takeaway. And even if your takeaways, “I love the song,” then tag them (Shelby: We would love that.) and everyone now can put links on Instagram, everyone can do it that there’s the people with all the followers so you have the power to like literally change anyone who follows you to make sure that they hear this beautiful message that these women are often doing. So tag them, tag us with your takeaways and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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