How Do You Skip
the Dieting Vortex?
Ep. 47 ft. Amber Shaw
“You are in the right place at the right time.”
Amber is a Body Transformation Expert and Founder of The Wellness Revolution, a leading global movement for thousands of women to empower them to rediscover their confidence and create a body that looks as good as it feels (inside and out)!
She has extensively coached thousands of women 40+ from all across the world to get off the crazy train of dieting and find true food freedom so they can feel empowered, confident and sexy.
As a Nationally Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach and a Certified Personal Trainer, Amber is committed to overhauling the diet culture. Her mission is to help millions of women worldwide heal their relationship with food and themselves while empowering them to transform their lives, love their bodies and create lasting results.
Are you stuck in that dieting cycle, jumping from one to the next? Is your relationship with food constantly something you are obsessing over? Meet Amber Shaw, a health and wellness expert. She and Lesley dig through finding food freedom, skipping the dieting vortex, creating consistency, moderation and satisfaction in your food choices.
If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.
In this episode you will learn about:
- Finding food freedom
- Skip the dieting vortex
- Not eating enough calories
- Turning 40
- You are at the right place at the right time
- Putting yourself first
- Stop looking at food as calories in and calories out
- Constantly dieting
- Amber on TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@msambershaw
- Amber on IG – https://www.instagram.com/msambershaw/
- Amber’s website – https://ambershaw.com/
- Ambers’s podcast, The Wellness Revolution – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wellness-revolution-podcast-with-amber-shaw/id1577282350
Hey you, welcome back to Be It Till You See It. Aahhh. I can’t get over that I get to do this as par… as like part of my living. I love talking to you, I truly do. I also am obsessed with the takeaways that you are sharing with me on all the things, whether it is on Instagram and tagging @be_it_pod or it is on our YouTube channel, or it’s on Facebook. And you know, however you want to get a hold of me to share with me your takeaways, I will take it because I want to make it easy for you. And, I also believe that when we write things down that it sticks with us, and so thank you for being a listener first and foremost. And if this is your first podcast, you’re listening to us. Well hello, and welcome to Be It Till You See It. Today’s guest is an epic woman and I cannot wait for you to hear her strategies for you to Be It Till You See It. Oh my gosh. I literally, I literally hung up with her and I went and did one of them. And so you’ll have to guess which one I did. I’d love to hear it. But her name is Amber Shaw and she is someone that I think so many of you will resonate with. She was in corporate sales for 16 years. She is a mom and she went through divorce right before her 40th birthday. And she used all of that to propel her on this journey and this mission on this planet. And it is so filled with purpose and she is such an awesome human being so I can’t wait for you to dive into this episode. Please do us a huge favor and after you listen to it, share us your takeaways. I know it will not only make Amber’s day, it’ll totally make mine and you never know who’s going to see that post you do and it’s going to light a fire under them and it’s going to be the sign that they needed to do the thing which is Be It Till You See It. So here comes the amazing interview with Amber Shaw right after this message.
Hey, Be It pod listener, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thanks for watching our podcast here on our YouTube channel. I’m just so grateful for you. I have a big favor, and I’m, I mean, like, let me just say, “It’s not easy for me to ask for help,” but I need your help. I’m on a mission, I really want to change as many lives and help people be it till they see it all over the world, and I need your help. We have been so grateful. The amount of downloads our podcast has had in just a short period of time is, it’s amazing. That’s insane. However, we also need more written reviews. So, and specifically on Apple. So even if you are watching here on YouTube, or you listen on Spotify, or you listen on Google Play, Apple podcast is where everyone looks to see which podcasts they should send people on for interviews. And, so we need lots of reviews to be there like a hundred written reviews. So, big huge favor if you could use the link below, go write a review, rate us, give us all the stars you love and let me know. Screenshot it, send it to me on a @be_it_pod. I just want to thank you for the bottom of my heart. We are truly, truly can’t do this podcast without you. And, I’m just so grateful that these words hit your ears. And if you wouldn’t mind writing us that review that would be amazing. And, I will be so forever grateful. Thank you and now here’s the podcast you wanted to listen to.
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and business fitness coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.
Lesley Logan 2:36
Alright. Welcome to Be It Till You See It. I’m so thrilled to have Amber Shaw here. Y’all, she is someone I don’t even know if we would ever met had I not been like, “What’s this thing? Who’s this person? Okay, I love her. I’m going to sign up for this mastermind,” and then got my booty down to Austin, Texas and got to meet her and definitely left her on a night on the town with my husband and some other people that go karaoke, but that’s who she is. She’s so much fun. She’s full of life and I can’t even wait for you to know her. Amber, welcome to the podcast.
Amber Shaw 3:10
Oh my gosh, I am so fired up to be here. Yes, that infamous night in Austin. It was a blast, you I think you got out in the nick of time. (Lesley: I did. I’m really good at that.) Well like you did like yeah, I woke up the next day. I was like, “Damn, I should have gone home when Lesley went home.” (Amber laughs)
Lesley Logan 3:26
I’m like the queen of Irish goodbyes. I started my 20s and I mean, I guess now I do say, “Bye. I’m going.” (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Yeah, yeah) I’m definitely known for we’ve been out at karaoke and I just call an Uber and I’m like, “Gotta go, my driver’s here.” (Lesley laughs)
Amber Shaw 3:42
Yeah. Like that that’s not me. Like I’m like, “Where’s the next party?” Like, “I gotta I gotta get this going.” Hahaha …”
Lesley Logan 3:47
Well, Amber. So tell us aside from like being amazing life lover and a party queen. Who are you? What do you do? How what are you up to right now?
Amber Shaw 3:58
Yeah, love thank you. So yes, I am a nationally board certified health and wellness coach. I’m also a certified certified personal trainer, and I’m a body transformation expert for women over 40. Really my mission in life is to help women really get off the crazy train of dieting and heal their relationship with food and themselves so that they can really be the most competent and sexy version that they can. So, it’s my life’s work.
Lesley Logan 4:28
Obsessed with that as someone who grew up with family members who dieted constantly (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Yes) and so my relationship with food was not super awesome. Again, you know, I had to like really rework that and rework how I thought about food with my body, how it was, became fuel, and it’s definitely difficult and I think that it’s really one of those things that stops women from doing things in life is this constant obsession of like, “What I can eat? What I can’t eat? What is the scale say?” Like that constant whirlwind in the brain is taking up space that allows them to show up on this planet and do what they’re here for.
Amber Shaw 5:08
Oh, my God, I mean, absolutely, you know, I talk so much about this with my platforms my different platforms. And then when I coach women about really finding food freedom, and if you are somebody that’s been in that dieting vortex for most of your life, when I say food freedom, you understand what that means. Because I think so many of us have been a slave to food and just our body image issues and a slave to the scale. And it’s yeah, it’s definitely, it absolutely stifles your growth that absolutely, like you said, prevents you from being who you’re meant to be. And I can tell you that it wasn’t until I really took that bull by the horns and tried to heal that piece of me – because of you know, years of having eating disorders and being on every diet on the plan and all of that – it really wasn’t until I was able to heal that part of me that I was able to fully step into my power as a woman, as a coach, as a mentor, as all of these things. So yeah, absolutely.
Lesley Logan 6:11
So how, so tell me how you got into like, even wanting to be on that journey and how you got into doing it for others? Like what was what was the impetus? What got you to go, “I’m really over this right now.”
Amber Shaw 6:23
Yeah, you know, so how do you say like, my story, I think, like my, how I got here is really kind of it started when I was a kid, it’s kind of like a, it was like kind of the whole journey since I was a kid. And then there was an event that happened later in life that really kind of triggered it and sent it over the edge. And I will say that, you know, I know you mentioned growing up you had like family members that, you know, always were talking about dieting, and I had a very similar situation, no fault of their own. I think there’s a lot of, you know, not as much awareness now about talking about that sort of thing in front of little girls. But so from the age of 10 years old, I was a lot bigger than a lot of the other girls not overweight, but just I mean, my 13 I always say I was like 5’7″, I had boobs. Like, I looked like I was 18, right? And so, I just, I always felt, I just… I felt not very comfortable in my skin. And this really, really progressed, you know, to when I was 15 being on my first calorie restricted diet that I didn’t even know I was doing. I just I knew that like the foods I was eating were very low in calories and apparently that’s what I thought I had to do.
Lesley Logan 7:24
Oh, when I was a teenager, it was when like the 100 calorie snack packs. Were really like the Snack Wells. You know, that was the whole thing. Yeah, I was like, “Ooh.”
Amber Shaw 7:31
Yeah, totally. Yeah, like going to like, you know, Subway and getting like a veggie sub only because that was the smallest amount of calories on the thing, like, and it just really continued to progress for me until I got into my 20s. And I started, you know, with bulimia and I always say like, I was very fortunate that I could, I had access to the resources, professional resources to really get, you know, stop the physical act of the binging and purging. But I never really healed I think that the mental piece of that. And I by that point, I was just very, very unhappy in my skin, and just really always bouncing from one diet to the next. (Lesley: Yeah) And always searching to be something a body other than my own, like whether it was I was chasing five pounds, whether it was chasing 10 pounds, whether I was wanting to be, you know, this, whatever it was, right. And so this really progressed even more so, even all the way through to where I had kids and I gained a pretty good amount of weight with both kids about 65 pounds with both. And I got the weight off, but I was just really, really unhealthy in my body. And just really just not just unhappy, very unhappy.
Lesley Logan 8:47
Yeah, I resonate with that, because I definitely did not feel comfortable in my skin most of the time. Like, I just, I exercised as my way of like, because I didn’t want to be on a diet, so I exercised. (Amber: Yeah) And I thought that was healthy. And it is like but I also, you know, I think I was using exercise and athleticism in a different, like different way, you know. And so even though it wasn’t hours at the gym, or hours working out, it was definitely like, this is my reward or this is what I do, you know, as opposed to that’s not how I work out now. I work out now because it fuels me, gives me energy, it like … I love the dopamine, here I’m like, my brain is like, “Wooo,” you know, I’m and I don’t see it that way. But I feel like, I look back and I go wow, I just really was not comfortable in my body and I grew… So, I was so tall and I think that’s part of it. I was like 5’9″ as a 14 year old. (Amber: Even I) And so you just don’t feel like you’re like, “I don’t even know what this body is. It’s so uncomfortable.” And like, you know, bless my family, but like one of them’s like, “Oh, you got boobs” and it’s like, “I don’t actually want you to see that.” (Amber: Yeah, yeah) Like I, “Who said that’s okay to say?” (Lesley laughs)
Amber Shaw 9:56
Right, right. Yeah, I mean exactly. I mean, I think at that age you want so badly just to fit in. And so, you know, you don’t want to be bigger than the boys or bigger than the girls and so yeah, it starts to mess with you for sure. So, you know, for me, right around that time in my 30s, I got married. And, and, and I was, you know, things were I had two children, had a great marriage, and right about 2018 my marriage completely fell apart. And I was at that time, I was 39 and so right around the corner was my 40th birthday. And so I found myself in this period of my life where I, and I didn’t realize at the time how unhappy, I also was… unhappy with myself. But I knew I but I was in this this, this time, where I’m in this very tumultuous time in my marriage, I’m getting ready to turn 40. And I’d also at this time, been in a very successful career as a salesperson and in corporate America, an inmate for 16 years at that point and it’s been a great career, but I just did not feel fulfilled at all. I mean, it just, I could do it in my sleep. I mean, yeah, I mean, as an entrepreneur, now, some of those just tell one friend of yours, I was like, “God, sometimes I just … wish I could go back to work in two hours a day,” like and I was making lots of money, and I work two hours a day and, like, now I bust my ass and I feel like my hourly rate is $2, I’m like … (Amber and Lesley laughs)
Lesley Logan 11:22
I know, I know there’s something there’s but you know, it’s right. Except for that you weren’t fulfilled and that’s why you’re not there.
Amber Shaw 11:29
Exactly! I mean, exactly. So, I say that jokingly but yeah, so so, I started really just going inward, I started really started reflecting, you know, “My God, I’m getting ready to turn 40. I’m in this position with my life,” and I was in so much pain from just the my marriage and everything that I just was really trying to find some like light at the end of the tunnel. I’m such a believer that you’re just you are in the right place at the right time. And so I just wanted to, I was just so desperately seeking what was the lesson like, you know, what, what was the lesson here? And so,
Lesley Logan 12:07
I love that. I love that. So basically, like, here you are in this like daily onslaught of like, “This isn’t working, and I’m getting older, and this isn’t working and I’m not fulfilled.” And you were seeking out the lessons for that. How do you do that?
Amber Shaw 12:22
Well, it’s a lot of therapy… (Lesley and Amber laughs)
Lesley Logan 12:25
We’re big fans of therapy around here. I’m like, “You should get therapist … needs a therapist,” you know, we have to rebrand therapy is what I think we have to do. (Lesley laughs)
Amber Shaw 12:32
Oh my God, are you kidding me? Like I’m like such a believer that anybody if you have access to a therapist, like everybody needs them on their roster, just like as preventative like, I think the problem is, is we go to therapists after the shit’s broken. And I will say that it’s really we need to, like, it’s before – that’s what needs to happen. So yeah, I will say it is. Yeah, a lot of therapy, a lot of self help books, but it would also required a lot of me just going inward and literally spending time with myself. Where no, I was just shutting out everybody else, whether that was through some breathwork, whether that was through a little bit of like meditation, whatever that looked like, you know, I think as women as busy women, especially the moms out there, we spend so much time just, you know, doing for others and and taking in, you know, all the noise from everybody else. We just forget what the hell we want. We forget our own voice.
Lesley Logan 13:29
Boom! That is, I’ve chills. That is exactly why this podcast exists. It is all about like, “How do I get women to prioritize themselves?” (Amber: Yeah) Because for whatever reason, we think if we don’t do things for others, then we’re a bad person. And it’s like actually, if you are not taking care of you first, (Amber: Yeah) you can’t do anything for anyone fully. And then you’re upset at yourself for not being fully there. You feel guilty and then you’re resentful that that thing that you said yes to is taking me away from like doing anything for yourself.
Amber Shaw 14:02
Yes, yes, absolutely. I mean, and so that kind of that journey of that really like introspection and really just trying to figure out like, “What what is my voice here? What What is this going to look like long term?” I decided to take a trip to Costa Rica for my 40th birthday. It was a yoga retreat. And I wanted, it was so funny like I was telling a story the other day that my my original plan to go for my 40th was to like get this whole group of people, we’re going to go to Cabo, we’re going to get a house, you’re doing all the friggin’ things. (Lesley: You’re gonna party like it was Austin) … (Lesley laughs) It was happening. And you know as I got closer and closer to it and in the middle of everything that was going on in my life, I was just like that’s not that’s not what I need right now. I need to just figure some stuff out and so I ended up going to, yeah, I ended up going to Costa Rica and I really wanted to use this time as like just some time to just really think and so I I’ll never forget and I was tell the story because it was really just a, you know, I’ll say I think that there are pivotal times in our life that we look back and we’re like, boom, like that mess… that was like divine intervention. That was a message that I heard loud and clear, if you’re open to receiving (Lesley: Yeah) that message. (Lesley: Yeah) And so, on this trip, I was sitting on the beach, and I was meditating and I was just journaling. And I was brain dumping and I was thinking of like, just all the things that you know… and I was really centered around like, also with my career, like, what did I want to do for my career, and I’m just writing down all the things that I was good at, and that I loved and that, and all of a sudden, it sounds like such a simple word. But it was so loud and so clear, I couldn’t deny it, all of a sudden, the word “coach” just hit me. I was like, “Coach,” I was like, “Coach of what? Like, what the f…, what am I going to coach? I gotta…” You know? And I just sat with it for a while and the rest of the trip. And I decided when I got back that I’m so fascinated by integrative nutrition, because I’d lost my father several years back to cancer. And so I really became very fascinated with holistic treatment, Eastern medicine and all of that. And so I was like, “You know, what, I don’t know what this looks like, but I’m gonna get back, I’m gonna enroll in this program.” And, and I also true for me, I think it gave me a little bit of relief, because I needed something that I could start focusing my attention on as well, because I was so consumed on like, what was going on with my marriage. (Lesley: Yeah) And really, like things, just the things just evolved with the, you know, reopened my personal training certification and the nutrition and all of that. And then one came TikTok, and then that then that was the end of it. (Amber laughs) Because my I got on TikTok, when the pandemic hit after I launched my business. And that’s really how things got going for me, I just started, like, really putting out content that talked about my struggles and really identity like, you know, related to women over 40. And the things we go through and like random stray hairs on her chin and hormones. And you know how hard it is to keep the weight off. And all these things, and women just started resonating with it. And it just, yeah, kind of started building a community.
Lesley Logan 17:02
This is so cool. I actually, I completely agree that there are moments in our life that like are really transformative. They’re very pivotable, pivotable, pivotal… I don’t know, whatever (Lesley: You got it) that’s a great word. Anyway, no one’s here for the English lesson. Um …
Amber Shaw 17:16
I’m a queen of that by the way, I make up words all the time. And like my ex husband is like in he’s like the master of English. And I’m like, he’s like that, you know, it’s not a word, right …
Lesley Logan 17:23
Oh, oh, Brad, I I’m the queen of double negatives, really and Brad hates that. But if y’all want to see blooper reels, my team secretly edits out, you know, all of my YouTube videos where I do things, and I’m like, “Da, da, da, da” (Lesley and Amber laughs) and they did put a compilation. I’m like, “Eww” (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Say what…) Anyway, people love it. But going back to that, I think we, I think it’s so easy to go, “Why is this happening to me? How did I let this happen?” We end up taking like this, like we’re supposed to have seen this train coming. And, and really like, those are the moments that really transform us and put us on the path we’re supposed to be on. And actually those those rock bottoms or obstacles are what people relate to us as. Like people, you are able to share those struggles with people people go, “Yeah, I feel that way too. I went through that too.” And so I think sometimes we’re like, “Let me bury that, let me not think about that. I want to go as far away from that as possible.” And really like those are the things that build us up for what’s to come and who we’re going to be and like what we’re supposed to do here. So thank you for sharing that. And I hope that like if you’re listening to this, and you can think back, like, at a moment where you heard something so clearly, and it changed something like, I I am doing what I’m doing today, because people asked a question I just happened to go, “Huh! That’s an interesting question. I just, I just suggest that that’s” so you know what I mean? So I’m with you.
Lesley Logan 18:51
When it comes to, let’s talk a little bit about health nutrition for a second because I, we’re here about being until we see it. And I definitely want to get more into your story on that. But I feel that there are things that we eat, do, or don’t do, or don’t eat, that are actually keeping us from, from being that person. Like I actually feel that sometimes we are could be the most confident person in the morning and by the end of the day, we’re not… and it’s not as because we’re like talking negatively to ourselves. Sometimes it’s like sugar or something else. Is there are there things that we are eating or not eating that are actually causing us to not be able to be that confident, strong person, we’re all trying to be in this world?
Amber Shaw 19:33
Man, there’s so many there’s so many like different ways I could take this one. So like on a physiological level, like and I think this is something that definitely plagues a lot of women. And then I want to get to kind of the mental level on that. But like on the physiological level, like one of the biggest things I see is women that under eat and you just have no idea when you are starving your body eating less than 1200 calories a day. Um, because you think that that is what’s going to help you to lose weight which in actuality, it’s actually the thing that’s preventing you from losing weight because you’re starving your body. But yeah, I mean, that’s absolutely just gonna affect your energy a lot, you know, you’re usually not your best self, when you’re in, you don’t even realize what your baseline is. Because you’ve been in, you don’t even realize where you’re at, because that’s been your baseline for so long. So, you know, definitely, I’m just like a physical level, I think that yeah, like, definitely under eating, I also think just even getting too much sugar in your diet, I think definitely affects you, you know, by having, you know, crashes, sugar crashes, where you again, lose your energy, you know, increases your brain fog, I mean, there’s just lots of things when you are mistreating your body and not eating a lot of whole foods, you know, I always talk about the power of I’m using food as medicine, that’s one of the things that I talk about, especially for my, my ladies and even the 30s, 40s and up is that, you know, we really do have the opportunity to heal our bodies so much, so much with food. And so one of the most important things you can do for your body is stop looking at food as calories in and calories out, you know, like, really start to pay attention to the power of food. So, I would say that. And then you know, what I would say too, is at least from a mental game, and you asked, like, are there things that we’re, you know, eating or not eating or whatever, that really affects us from being our best self – is that kind of what you’re… yeah… (Lesley: Yeah), you know, I think the that constantly being on a restrictive diet absolutely affects your mental game and the way that you feel about yourself and because so much of what, you know, goes hand in hand with constantly being on a diet and constantly looking for that quick fix. You know, to shed the weight is, you know, the the cycle of restriction and bingeing right, and, and what happens, anybody that’s ever been on a diet or restrictive diet, where, which you can’t stick to because nobody can, because it’s not real life, then what happens you either binge, or you kind of like, go off the program and you feel terrible about yourself. (Lesley: Right) And you feel terrible about how the way you look at yourself in the mirror. Now, you don’t want to go to the pool, because you don’t want to you know, you feel terrible, you’re by yourself and not confident in your clothes. I mean, so I just definitely think that yes, I mean, so much of food and our relationships, our relationship to food dictates our ability to be our best selves on so many different levels.
Lesley Logan 22:24
Couldn’t… I agree so much because I, you said, well, I still have stomach issues. They’re pretty much on the mend. But when I was trying to go and figure out what my stomach issues were, I was put on all these different diets. I had an elimination diet, which went on way too long. Someone let me be on that for 90 days. It was terrible, it’s … it was awful. And you just like I was so consumed with like, “Can I eat that? Can I eat this? Can I eat that,” that I wasn’t able to work on the things that I was really wanting to work on? I wasn’t able to work on my book. I wasn’t able to work on my courses. I just because you’re just so much like you only have so … many decision. Right!
Amber Shaw 23:02
And it’s decision fatigue. (Lesley: Correct) … Jill you know, Jill Coleman talks a lot about this in her you know, Moderation 365 which teaches a more sustainable lifestyle. But there really is such a thing like decision fatigue and it’s like if you you don’t even realize that but you when you are putting so much of your brainpower into like, “Can I eat this? Can I eat that? How many macros are in that? How many calories are in that?” You don’t even know, you don’t even know how much it is really detract you know, taking away from your living, your life, your joy. I mean, it’s until you get out of it. (Lesley: Yeah) You get out and you’re like, “Damn, that was a lot.”
Lesley Logan 23:36
Yeah, I agree. So how, so… How have you helped women get out of this? Because I feel like they’re like, “Great, ladies. Okay, how do I get out of this?” Like, how do what is your like, what what do you suggest people do? Because it’s not easy to do on your own. Like if you you know, because it’s a pattern … it is a it’s a habit almost, you know,
Amber Shaw 23:54
No, I mean absolutely. And I think why it’s it is so hard is because there’s so much information out there. There’s so much misinformation out there and then you couple it with the fact that people want results now, because we’re up against you know, body manipulative diets like keto and you know, all these other things where you’re cutting out whole food groups, and all of that is that so yeah, it’s hard to stay consistent. But I have to say that really, consistency really is the name of the game. Like if you are somebody that is like tired of dieting, you are wanting to you know, create a lifestyle where you have food freedom, where you can go on vacation and not worry about every morsel you put in your mouth, all these things. It really does start with a more consistent lifestyle. So when I teach women, women come to me and they’re ready to raise up the dieting like they want, they want to eat more food, they just want to be happy. You know, I do educate women, I’m more of a clean eating lifestyle, which is basically just eliminating a lot of the processed and packaged foods, not cutting them out completely… that would be restriction and that is not possible, right? But for the most part, really relying more on a whole food diet eating foods again, less process less people. Paying attention to the sugar in your diet, getting more vegetables, more good fats like, what I would say is the way that I teach nutrition is not really rocket science, it makes sense. It’s things you learned when you were in like the fifth grade. But it is like it is really more about learning that. But then learning how to couple it with moderation and satisfaction, because the two of them like that those two together clean eating and like moderation, satisfaction in like what you’re eating and not doing the bingeing and doing this all the time with being on a diet on Monday and then gorging on the weekend and all that, that is really when you can develop a lifestyle where you’re going to keep the weight off for good. So, I really, because if you don’t, if you don’t teach yourself, how to trust yourself around food, again, how to be able to go out in a Friday night and have pizza and beer and all the things you like, and then just, you know, kind of get back, you know, your to your normal routine on Saturday. Like if you don’t learn that, then you just do clean eating. It’s just another diet, (Lesley: Yeah) like that’s just another day. (Lesley: Yeah) So the secret sauce, I think is really learning, again, how to kind of that moderation satisfaction factor so that you can stay consistent because you know, Jill always says, and Jill Coleman is a mentor of both ours and Jill (Lesley: Yeah) and always says, “That a little less perfect, makes you a lot more consistent.” And I’m like, …
Lesley Logan 26:24
Oh, I love that because our big thing around (Amber: Right?) here is, “Perfect is boring.”
Amber Shaw 26:27
So okay, so see, like, … and it’s so true. We focus so much on being consistent. I mean, perfect all the time. That not totally jacks up our ability to be consistent. So yeah for sure.
Lesley Logan 26:39
Oh, you’re 100%. So okay, I love that. And I just want to quickly get back to something because I’m sure a lot of people like okay, so you are a mom, you have two kids, right? (Amber: Two kids. Yeah) Two kids and you switched careers. (Amber: Yeah) And you went through divorce. So (Amber: Yeah) all this happens. So they’re wondering, how did you do this? Like, how did you how because that’s a lot of change. And that’s a lot of I feel like that’d be a lot of pressure. I don’t have children but like, I feel like going through all of that with two kiddos is probably like extra. So what what what were you telling yourself each day? How did you do that?
Amber Shaw 27:15
You know, I think and I’ll give the overall answer and then I’ll kind of go back and kind of break it down a little bit. But I think that the universe or God or spirit or whatever, if you believe in a higher power, what you believe at that. But I think the message from God was so loud to me that I couldn’t deny it anymore. And to deny this path would be to deny myself and so I couldn’t, He had opened up us here to open up so many doors for me with this coaching in such a short amount of time. Because you’re right, I was at that time I was in at that point. I started the coaching it really is like a side hustle because I was like, “Okay, I’m going through a divorce. I need something that will take my attention. This will also be extra income for me,” because I mean, I was making multiple six figures at my sales job, very cush shell sales job. (Lesley: Yeah) Okay, to do it in my sleep. (Lesley: Yeah.) But I had a very, and it was actually just that just probably about eight months ago, I had a very good conversation with my brother. And you know, because I was like, because for most of last year, I was doing both (Lesley: Okay) I was doing coaching and my sale… and I was dying. (Lesley: Yeah) I was literally dying. I was like, I can’t, I’m working unbelievable amount of hours. And but you know, like I said, my… this conversation with my brother. And also a lot of time going inward and really, you know, thinking on this, but, you know, we had just decided that again, I had had so many just things that have just happened that I did not feel were coincidence that it was like “Okay, I’m gonna trust this” like, I can always this is scary as hell, this is scary as hell. But I can always go back to being a salesperson, right? Even if I’m like, sell, you know, no, even … sell and making the a $30,000. I don’t care. Like I can always go back. I know that I can do that. But I feel like I if I walk away from this now, I will always wonder if this could have been my thing. And again, like I said, I mean to at that point, it was like to deny myself of this was to just really deny, I think, my soul’s work. I really feel that.
Lesley Logan 29:16
Oh, that’s amazing. Thank you for sharing that because I do know that there are someone listening to this going. They’re wondering, you know, like, it’s hard. Like I had a job that was salaried, vacation, health insurance, all the things and I could I just was struggling so much because I knew that I wanted to do other things. I wanted to get my retreats going consistently. I wanted to coach people. I wanted to have more freedom in my decisions without having… it felt like such a hard thing because of the safe job that made me really good money (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Yes) and all these perks and benefits. But I remember someone said, you know, it was not even having to do with me, she said it around something that had to do with how it was a Pilates classes, she even know that she was saying something. But she said, “You can’t have one foot an island and one foot on a canoe.” Like you just can’t. Doesn’t work. (Amber: Right. Right. Absolutely) And I was like, “Oh my God, I have one foot on an island and one foot in a canoe,” (Amber: Yeah) and like, I don’t have the ability to do the splits, like, I’m just, that’s not how I’m built. (Lesley laughs) Okay, Amber, how do people follow you? Obviously, TikTok is one of them. Where are you there? What’s your favorite places to hang out?
Amber Shaw 30:28
Yeah, so definitely on TikTok. That platform is my jam. Yes, I’m Ms Amber Shaw. I’m Ms Amber Shaw on TikTok, also the same on Instagram, I’m ever on Instagram. And I also have a podcast. (Lesley: Yes, she does.) Yeah, The Wellness Revolution. I’m so excited about it. So um, you can find that on Apple or Spotify. And then of course, my website, ambershaw.com.
Lesley Logan 30:51
Amazing. Okay. Y’all, make sure you follow her, check out her podcast. I’m also on it. So you know, (Amber: Yeah.) (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Thank you) So, here’s what I love to do. All this is really great. I know, we got so much inspo going on. But I really I’m an actionable strategy person. I like people to be able to take action because I know action brings clarity. It’s the antidote to fear, it also helps us remain too perfect. I don’t like to plan too much. You got to just try things on. So what, what do you have for us? What are some ways that people can be it till they see it?
Amber Shaw 31:23
You know, I think the first thing is that when you are going through something, I think it’s okay to ask yourself, “Why, why am I going through this?” But I think the most important thing is to not stop there. I think then it’s to flip the script and say now, “How can I turn this into something good?” Or or what ask the question, “What is the purpose in this? What kind of what lesson can I learn here?” And I think that really is where your growth is going to happen. So I think that’s that’s one thing. And then I think the second thing is, and it is actually you know, goes along with that. And when you’re asking yourself these questions is take some damn time to yourself. I don’t care if it is not everybody has to go to a beach in Costa Rica. I don’t care if it’s going in your closet and putting some earplugs in for five minutes – all you moms – you just do it, give yourself permission to be with your own thoughts. I can tell you that I have worked out some of my biggest decisions of my life during those quiet moments. So don’t deny yourself of those.
Lesley Logan 32:27
Oh my God, I’m in love. I’m in love. All of … those are so great. These are so great. I can’t wait to hear what which ones y’all do, so do us a massive favor, screenshot this podcast, tag @msambershaw, and @be_it_pod with which takeaway you have from this podcast and share it because not only does it tell Amber and I what you loved about this, but it’s going to change people’s lives. I know that if all of us are be it till we see it, we change this world. So thank you, Amber for being here. (Amber: Thank you) Thank you for listening everyone and until next time, Be It Till You See It.
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast! One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.
Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.
And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.
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