Shownotes

A man who knows the grit it takes to make a sustainable change, Dai Manuel joins the podcast to talk about what it takes to shift your lifestyle. He is a proponent of mentorship, celebrating your wins, and doing hard things for maximum results.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why we need help navigating change
• How to support people in their change
• How to sustain change
• Celebrate the wins
• Why you need to start doing hard things
• Where you should start to make change

Episode References/Links:

• Whole Life Fitness Manifesto: https://amzn.to/3HcqZUQ
• Website: https://www.daimanuel.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daimanuel

Transcript

Lesley Logan
Hey, Be It babe. Get ready to have a dose of like excitement, enthusiasm like. If you are feeling like your vibration is low, it is not going to be low after this interview. I am definitely so pumped. And I just finished talking with Dai Manuel, he is an incredible human being, he is a trainer, he has been dating his wife for 22 years. He is a father of two amazing daughters who are almost out of the house. And we go through a lot of things about change. And like really welcoming change, and then also celebrating your wins. And I don’t I’m just I don’t want to keep going because I want you to hear it from his perspective. But it’s so fun. It is I mean, it’s one of the most fun conversations I’ve really had and I really enjoy his like zest and zeal for life and so you’re you’re gonna love it too. Also, also the end of course, you know, every week I said the BE IT action items but seriously the BE IT action items, seriously the BE IT action items. There’s so much fun and I know you’re going to just really nerd out with with Dai and all he has to say and then you’re probably going to buy his book because I’m going to, I want to read it. It sounds really exciting to me. So anyways, without further ado, well there’s that little ado that happens and then Dai Manuel.

—-

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

—-

EPISODE

Lesley Logan
All right, Be It babes. I have an amazing guest for us today. Dai Manuel is here. He is from Canada right now, currently, but I think we’re gonna get into an amazing story of how his life has gone an amazing journey around this world. I’m really excited because we, you know, I was reading about what he does in this world on how he dates his wife for 22 years like and you know, I was just like, anyone who can say they’re dating their wife that long. I think we have to have on because I definitely think you’re gonna inspire all the people listening to maybe date their partners more. Or maybe we’ll go into some other thing. So, Dai can you tell everyone who you are? What you’re what you’re rocking out these days?

Dai Manuel
Well, thanks, Lesley. Well, let’s see. Yeah, I’m rocking it out in Vancouver, Canada. And it’s a nice place. It’s a nice place. It’s a nice place to call home. It’s always been a home base for us. And I’m a dad first and foremost. I have two teenage girls while okay, they’re almost 20 and 18 now. So, as I say it’s karma. And I’ve been dating my wife. We’re going on 23 years. And yes, I’m very intentional with that language around that, I’m sure will unpack that in a bit here. But yes, dating my wife and, you know, I just help people navigate change. I like that, you know, like we all I, as you can tell, I got some of the posters and stuff behind me. I’m a kind of a movie buff, comic book guy. But Indiana Jones remember Raiders of the Lost Ark? (Lesley: Yes.) You remember the beginning scene where he’s got like, you know, Harrison Ford is barreling down that cave, and there’s that massive boulder chasing him? (Lesley: Oh, yeah. Oh, totally.) Most of us feel like that boulder has changed in our lives. And we’re running from it. And we’re like, “Yeah, I gotta get out here.” And so I tried to put the script on that and make people be more advocates, or champions of change for their own lines, you know, and, and so because often we feel like victims, you know, we get bowled over. And we had nothing to do about it. And it came at us whether we liked it or not. And, and so that relationship was changes what I really helped support people with and yeah, that’s me in a nutshell.

Lesley Logan
That is so cool. That’s a beautiful description and a great visual. I love going to Disneyland. And then there’s Indiana Jones, right. And they have that boulder moment. And when you said that there’s another thing that like that I’ve heard people say like sometimes they like see a light at the end of the tunnel. But sometimes that light is just a train coming at you. (Dai: That’s right … Yeah, yeah.) Sometimes I and it’s and you’re kind of like, I feel like people can be like this again, like, “Why is this happening to me again?” You know, and I think especially, especially I think 2020 definitely was like, and this happened, you know, all my millennials listening, Hello, I’m an elder millennial here. And we’re like, then there was 911 went to college, there was a recession, we got out and there’s COVID when we got back on our feet, and it’s like, yes. And I think my, I think everyone’s generation can pick like all these devastations. So they don’t actually have to be these boulders that are following us down the road. How did you get started in helping people like champion change? Like I don’t even know how you how did that become a job for you.

Dai Manuel
Let me give you the short version, you know, and okay … So I have my first really big change in my life that felt like it was that boulder that ran me over was when I was like nine, you know, and I’m not here to talk about trauma and all that stuff and trauma release. Trust me, I’ve worked with therapists and my psychologists for a bit to work through all that. And I the big proponent for that, by the way. But all being said, at nine, you know, my parents, which I thought I lived in idyllic life, you know, and, and I remember this one day coming home from after school, my dad’s like home at like three o’clock. And it’s like dads go home at 3, really like what’s up, and they lead us into the living room. And my mom and dad sat down, you know, on opposite ends of the couch and basically just said, we’re getting a divorce, you know, and I’m gonna date myself right now, you know, this is back in the mid 80s. You know, I’m like, not even 10 yet. And back then. I mean, we don’t have the internet. We don’t have support groups, we don’t have resources that really talk to that aspect of life, you know, because back then, you know, I was in a class of 30 kids, and there was only one other kid in that class. It didn’t have his original parents together still. So, you know, (Lesley: Yeah.) a minority situation. And …

Lesley Logan
Yeah, now now people are like, most of the kids parents are divorced …

Dai Manuel
It’s true. No, it’s true. Which is, you know, that’s a whole nother conversation, obviously, to say like, what’s going on? But but yeah, it was it was a bit of a bomb, you know, it was that boulder that ran me over and, and at that time, I didn’t know how to handle it. I really didn’t. And my dad was already working a lot. So he wasn’t around a ton. He was just a workaholic, to be honest. And, and, but he had lots of enduring and loving qualities. And I know that he loved us, you know, and but after, you know, the divorce, it’s like, you know, the every other weekend often would turn into once a month, or sometimes longer, you know, so just I didn’t have that strong male figure around me, which I can unpack later. Because just means lots of other changes that I wish I didn’t happen, but would have been nice if I had some more mentorship in my life. And but, you know, I sort of spiraled a bit. I figured out how to escape some of the pain that I was feeling and some of that loss and that isolation, and I did it through food. And I also did through video games and movies, you know, so I was chasing dopamine, you know. (Lesley: Yeah.) I was chasing instant gratification and yeah, emotional stress eating you call what you will. I did that for about five years. And by the time I got to 14, I was at doctors offices in my own, the doctor’s like … that’s morbidly obese. And I’m like, I didn’t know what morbid meant nor than I know what a obese meant, but I figured that can’t be good. You know, (Lesley: Yeah.) I knew how I felt inside, you know? (Lesley: Yeah.) Anyways, one day, I just had sort of a moment, and I won’t go into the full gory details, but there was this realization that I was more afraid of not changing than the idea of changing. You know, I was I was 2015 and I was like, gosh, man, life sucks. Everything’s hard. And also, you know, kids were mean as you know …

Lesley Logan
Oh they’re all mean. I was a kid at 80s too. I mean, they were they said some mean things.

Dai Manuel
Yeah nasty, you know, but But you know, what’s even worst is like, as I got into high school I was like, man, teenagers are cruel. You know, like it was went from one extreme to another and, and I just wasn’t enjoying life, you know. And obviously I can talk about the depression and social anxiety and other things that stemmed from that. But, you know, I wanted to rise above all that I didn’t want to be where I wasn’t even. I wanted change, and I had no idea how to get it. But I knew that I didn’t want to stay as I was, because I was like, okay, well, it took me five years to get to this place of not feeling very good. And if I’m honest with myself, in the next five years, that’s I’m 20, if I haven’t done anything different, it’s not gonna be better than it is right now. (Lesley: Right.) You know, and, and so, I just came out of the bathroom, like, literally after bawling my eyes out and found my dad in the living room, we were at his place for the weekend, that weekend, and I was like, dad, I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to be healthy, I want to be fit. You know? (Lesley: Yeah.) And, and also, you know, people say, what is the motivation and like, I actually wanted a girlfriend, you know … (Lesley: The things we will do for love.) Listen full disclosure and I mean, we can unpack that I really did want to feel that someone saw value in me that somebody (Lesley: Yeah.) for me, and you know as a kid I couldn’t have articulated that way. But you know, in retrospect, now, you know, we’ll unpack that, you know, 30 years later. Yeah, I totally get it. You know, and, (Lesley: Yeah.) so I set in motion. I went to the library, got books out on fitness and nutrition, and my kids are still like, “Why don’t you just Google it, dad.” I’m like, “I’m older than Google.” You know, like, so those are listening. Yes, I’m old. But but it was cool, right? Like, I started to educate myself. But I also took immediate action. I you know, I asked my dad, he was like, “Hey, what do you want to do?” He’s like, “Gym membership, you know?” And I’m like, “Hell no.” I’m not going in that place. It’s all that steel, all those mirrors and back in the 80s. They …

Lesley Logan
Oh, mirrors everywhere. Yes.

Dai Manuel
… spaghetti strap like, tank tops.

Lesley Logan
Yes, the tank tops that don’t cover anything, even though they say they have to cover something. They still do it in West Hollywood gyms because I actually had to work at one. So it’s still there as like eyes like I I’m a teenager against the same things. But yes, I think gyms are very intimidating for most people because of the mirrors and because you have to know what you’re doing. And so then when people do they just get on the treadmill, and they just walk.

Dai Manuel
That’s right and and then you wonder why you come back to after a day and they’re not seeing the results. Right. (Lesley: Right.) And that’s the one thing that’s always frustrated me that I tried to support people with not falling into that trap. Right. But but I get why they fall into it. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah.) Especially when we just, gosh, so much misinformation out there. Right. So I mean I get it, people are doing the best that they can with what the … (Lesley: Yeah, yeah.) And you know, so I said, I like to have a bike, can we get me a mountain bike? Because I used to like biking as a kid. That was one activity, I knew I used to love doing and I would do it for hours. I go in the backyard and I just cycle around, you know, and and so he said, “Sure.” That and literally that afternoon, we went got me a bike. And when we got back, I went for a bike ride. I just went up for cycle because there’s also I lived in rural Ontario, so just outside of Toronto a couple hours. And it was literally farm country. You know, it was like all apple orchards and stuff. And so it was very remote.

Lesley Logan
It’s also the 80s so you could your kids were allowed to go on a bike.

Dai Manuel
That’s right. I mean, we were practically like, I think we had two traffic lights in the town. Right? So I mean, now it’s like a booming metropolis of at least 80,000 people, you know, (Lesley: Yeah.) like. So, it’s different now 30 years later, but back then, you know, I had the opportunity to just get out. And my dad and this is really funny. Okay, I’m totally dating myself here. So for those that aren’t familiar, Sony used to have a thing called the Walkman.

Lesley Logan
Oh, yeah, I didn’t even get to have one of those. They were too expensive for my family.

Dai Manuel
My dad had one. And but he lent it to me, he let me borrow it. And this is the cool thing about the Sony Walkman. You put a tape in there, and it would get to the end to one side, and it would automatically flip to the other for you. You didn’t have to take the tape out and flip it, it would do the autoplay so you can literally put a 90 minute tape in there we’ll play 45 minutes and this is one side and it would start playing the other 45 and this is how I knew when it was time to go back. One way I would listen to Tragically Hip and on the way back and listen to Alice in Chains, you know and like this is like the one tape that I had and I would just do it. I know that 45 minutes out okay, I’m at the end I gotta turn around go back now. (Lesley: That’s so cool.) Yeah, and that’s what I started doing it and then I just started changing our feeled about myself and literally it took about 20 months ish (Lesley: Yeah.) to release that way to get into a healthier lifestyle, healthier mindset. But took 5 years to put it on but you know less than half of that take it off. So you know change can happen pretty quick. We (Lesley: And also …) when you try to make it happen. You know.

Lesley Logan
Also what I love is it like you did what you could with what you had and also in a way that made you feel safe and feel comfortable. And I also love that like the person that your father was there to go, “Let’s go do that. You want to change it, we’re gonna change it.” And like, I think that like, what a great for all the parents listening like he didn’t go well we’ll do it next weekend. Like he said we’re gonna go do it right now and I know that like kids want a lot of shit to I don’t even know how people are parents now it sounds very expensive. But when it comes to encouraging things that are actually behaviors that you want like for them to follow through with a goal that they have, or for them to feel seen and feel confident in their bodies, like those are worthwhile, like, at least find a way to take action in a moment, it doesn’t have to always be buying something, maybe it’s just like, let’s look it up, let’s Google, where can we go get this thing before we go and get, you know, just get like giving taking that first action is like such because your it is how is clearly how you got used to like taking action and seeing change and welcoming it. Whereas other people where it’s like, oh, maybe we’ll do it another time? Ah, you know, no, we can’t do that right now. If you don’t encourage that next step of action, then people just become pretty, like complacent and okay, well, I’ll just do it someday, there’ll be some day.

Dai Manuel
And you know, full disclosure. My parents, you know, over that five years, they obviously saw that I was hurting. They saw the sadness, they saw that withdrawal. They just saw that I isolated a lot, right? Like, I wasn’t a very outgoing child a lot of times and I would avoid really big social situations, especially with people I didn’t know because they felt so subcon… subconscious, (Lesley: Yeah.) self conscious, and, (Lesley: Yeah.) and just low self esteem. Like just all the usual cliches or stigmas that we attach to someone in that state of unhealth, trust me, that’s just what I was living in, and, but they would often come to me, and they would offer different strategies and things to help me, but you have to understand they were coming to me and offering these these ideas, you know, like, my mom wouldn’t be like, I’ve got a good friend, this nutritionist, we can have you sit down with her, you know, and I remember my dad, like, “Hey, why don’t we get into karate classes.” You know, and, or, my mom at one point is like, “We can get you a personal trainer.” You know, and this is like when personal trainer is kind of a new thing, right? Like, (Lesley: Yeah.) your own trainer. And but here’s the thing, every time they came to me, and they made that offer, I was like, “You think I’m not good enough the way I am.” That’s what I thought like, now, you know, that wasn’t their intention. But I took it as like someone’s trying to force change on me. (Lesley: Yeah.) And and I would act out accordingly. You know, I would not be very nice. And but this is where the things switch, when all of a sudden it came to my dad, you know, and I’m like, “Dad, I want this. I want to do it.” And I think he saw them. I was like, “Okay, we got to strike. This was hot.” You know. Let’s do it. (Lesley: Yeah.) And I think that’s the thing, we have to remember that we especially as parents, and this is something we’ve my wife, Christie, and I’ve tried to take note of with their own kids like, of course, of course, we tried to encourage good behaviors, and try to catch them doing things right. You know, and make a point of applauding that. But also, we do know better, because we have life experience, you know, and, but when we see them doing things really well, we do want to acknowledge that, you know, (Lesley: Yeah.) be present for that. And because if you’re constantly reinforcing the good habit and behaviors, they actually start to realize, Wow, this is good. This makes me feel good. You know? So yeah …

Lesley Logan
Absolutely. I just love to catch them doing things, right. I think that like, so often people are so worried about what they’re doing that’s wrong, that they’re only looking for what’s wrong, right? Like our our brain is like looking for like the you know, the the reticular activating whatever RAS is like looking for evidence that your kid could be hurting themselves. So you’re like, only seeing that when like, if you actually can really encourage the good behaviors. People definitely want to feel seen. So they’re, whether this is your kids, or if you’re like me, I don’t have kids, co workers, partners, friends in your life, like complement the things that they’re doing that you want them to keep doing. And they’ll keep doing them. It’s like a pet. If I’m like have a positive voice, my dog does good things. If I have a negative voice, you know. It’s the same way.

Dai Manuel
You have a cat and the cat just looks at me. He’s like, “f u.” You know, he just … attitude. (Lesley: Cat’s attitude.) The one thing I love about dogs you talk them nice they treat you well, you know (Lesley: They do.) they just look like, “You’re an idiot.” You know like …

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Yeah. There’s, there’s there’s so many comedy shows about like dogs versus cats. And like, I have friend, my mom has two cats. And we have friends who’ve got cats and like, love them. But they’re they’re like when you’re having a bad day. The cat’s not like, “Oh, let me take care of you.” My dog if I’m having a bad day. He’s like, “Oh, you want to lay in bed with me? This is great. Okay.”

Dai Manuel
They gave you that unconditional love. I don’t feel that for my cat. I really don’t. I’m like, yeah, anyways,

Lesley Logan
Anyways, that’s a side note. Sorry. If you love if you love your cats and you have a different opinion, you can … great. That’s wonderful. Go ahead and keep it.

Dai Manuel
I’m like, “He is my cat. Please.” You know.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. So okay, so I love this like you had this like moment of like taking in change for yourself. And I think that this is key because whether or not you’re 15, or like, anytime in our lives there are these moments where we are, you said it, you’re like, you are more scared to not change than for the change. And I think, I think sometimes we end up waiting until it gets that bad before we like, take action. Have you noticed in your life since then? Or with of coaching that you do that like? Is it possible to make the change before you get hit rock bottom? Or do we have, do we have to hit the rock bottom to make the change?

Dai Manuel
Well, as I always say, sometimes you get to rock bottom, you realize there’s a rock there that you can crawl under, so I’ve been there. So, you know, the rock bottom is definitely subjective. But, you know, we can learn to adapt more quickly. But you’re right, you sort of hinted at the reticular activation system, but more importantly, this thing called confirmation bias. And what’s really unique, you know, is like, when we’re feeling positive, or looking for positive, especially affirmations, or confirmations, we have a tendency to find it, you know, it’s like, we want to find the successful stuff. But equally, if we’re looking for bad stuff, we’re just as good at finding that to to confirm our position or beliefs. And this is just psychology, and we all got to deal with it, unfortunately. And, and so that mental health piece is so critical, you know, in any sort of well being conversation, that’s sort of where everything starts, because it’s our self perspective, right? It’s that as Maslow, he says, you know, like, you know, he talks about this hierarchy of needs, and (Lesley: Yeah.) you got all these basic pieces on the bottom about feeling safe, you know, I’m gonna roof organic food in your belly, you know, quality relationships, but at the very peak, there’s this thing, this elusive thing called self actualization. What the hell does that mean? You know, and but it really is that idea of aligning our vision or purpose, or our integrity, those passions like that, all the things that really make us uniquely us, and having them go in one direction, you know, so (Lesley: Yeah.) I’m feeling good about that. And it’s not easy to tap into that. But doesn’t mean we shouldn’t look for, you know, and so change, though, is very much a proactive thing. You know, like, when you want to make change, we’re pretty lucky. I mean, there’s podcasts like yours, Lesley, there’s amazing TED Talks, there’s, I mean, the amount of books and literature that it’s out there that talks about ways to empower ourselves for change. It’s just a matter of going and tapping into it, you know.

Lesley Logan
Thank you for this, it’s such a now that now that there is a Google and … (Dai: Yeah. Thank you Mr. Google.) But like, like that’s yours, do you make it so true, like, if there is a change you want to make, you can make it at any time, you know, we tell our the businesses we coach, like if you don’t have your website up at 11pm, when somebody is like at their, their bottom, like I’m ready for this change, and they’re Googling a solution to the problem that they have. And if you don’t have a website, they’re not going to find you, they’re gonna find someone, they’re gonna find a solution that they think is going to work. But you might be the best ones, you have to be on that line. And so what’s so cool about Google is like, any one of us can go, you know, what I really want to learn right now I’m actually I need to change and do this. You can join a gym online, you can find therapy online, you can like, join a new club, I’m like, oh, I want to take this class, I already found a place down the street, signed up on Saturday, they don’t even know who I am, or how I found them. Like we have right now is like the best time to live. Because if you want to make a change, you can make it within a minute.

Dai Manuel
That’s right. Absolutely. It’s like flipping a switch. Now, sustaining change is where the problems happen.

Lesley Logan
Yes. So how do we do that? It’s really easy to beginning like this, because I think people rely on motivation and motivation only gets you started. It doesn’t actually show up. It’s a it’s a fickle friend.

Dai Manuel
It really is. Well, it’s a depleting resource, and it depletes every day, you know, we start in the morning, sure, we feel great, we feel motivated, we feel excited about the prospect of the day ahead. And I mean, if you’re not a morning person, maybe it comes later. But regardless, we have this sort of amount of energy that we start with and focus and it does deplete and the more taxing are the things that we’re trying to do, the more uphill we feel like we’re going, it depletes more quickly. And, you know, there’s books out there, there’s one that I always loved called Eat the Frog, you know, and (Lesley: Oh, yeah …) The whole idea was the premise of the book. I mean, I can, you don’t have to read it. But here’s the premise, right? (Lesley: Yeah.) Like, the hardest thing you had to do in a day was eat a frog. The idea is do that first. Then you got the rest of the day to do the things that actually won’t require as much energy or focus or particular motivation to do. And, and also you feel really accomplished because you got the hardest thing done first, you know, the rest (Lesley: Yeah.) of the day might feel easier. And so we have to remember that if especially I work a lot of people in the fitness in the wellness space, because I’ve been doing it for like 28 years, you know, so (Lesley: Yeah.) I tend to have a lot of people that want to make changes physically, emotionally, spiritually, also psychologically, and everything’s tapped in. Right. But the physical is an easy one to tap into first, you know, is just moving our body a bit more. And and it takes consistency and frequency. But for some people, it’s really hard to get started because they’ve been at rest for so long, you know? (Lesley: Yeah.) And we know based on physics like that the most amount of energy it’s going to take to move a body at rest. Is that initial inertia (Lesley: Yeah.) to get it started.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Oh, this is … So one of the girls I follow, she’s like, some prospect champion. And she was like pulling a car. So like a rope, and she’s pulling a car and I was like, “Oh, my God.” And my dad goes, “It’s actually just really hard to get started. Once she gets it started. It’s not that hard.” And I was like, “Don’t take away her win. But that’s also very good information.”

Dai Manuel
But it’s true. Because that’s exactly how it works. Like with almost any sort of change that we come up against, it’s the initial first few steps to actually take those initial actions will be the most challenging moments, it’s going to take the most amount of energy, the most amount of motivation. But the cool part is, as soon as we start seeing results in the direction that we want to see them, it’s self fulfilling, you start to feel like this motivation starts filling up again, a little bit more readily, you know, or quickly, like you just, it’s, it’s nice, because I can all honestly speak to this because I remember making that change at 15. And it was within the first I’d say about six weeks, I had a really big physical win. I remember I was riding this bike, you know, for like 90 minutes, right. And I was doing it at least five times a week just getting up for these rides. It wasn’t like super intense. I’m not like a motocross kind of guy or anything, right? I was obese kid on a mountain bike. And, but there was this hill. And it felt like a mountain, right? It felt like an Everest to me. I mean, it could have been a molehill, but it still felt like this Everest. And I remember the first time coming to it, I made it barely a third of the way up. And like the bike, like literally just stopped. Like I’m pedaling, I’m trying to move it and you just make stop, it was like done and, and I got off the bike. And I had a moment there where I was like, “Well, I failed. I might as well just turn around and go home. This is dumb, I can’t do this.” But I knew that was like, “I don’t want that. I don’t want that. I want this. I want to make some health changes.” So I walked the bike to the top and I continued on my way. Now, I didn’t deviate from this route. Okay, I kept doing this route for those six weeks. And every time I’d come down hill a little bit more, a little bit more. By the end of six weeks. I just remember coming to it this one day and I, I kept my head down. I just kept going. I felt like that little train that can. Right. I think I can. I think I can. And you know, all of a sudden it got easy again. And I looked up and I’m like, “Holy crap. I’m on the top of this mountain. I did this.” And six weeks ago, I couldn’t do this. And I was like, hello, changes happening. And it’s happening because I’m I’m making it happen. You know, that was the moment for me. That was it. You know.

Lesley Logan
And you also like something I point out here for my perfectionist and overachievers listening is he celebrated the win. Like there was like, “I did it.” And I don’t think that we all most, maybe as kids, we do it. But once we get older we can more of adult, we actually get to the top of the hill and we’re just like, I didn’t get there fast enough. No one was there to help me like we look for all these. We’d look for ways to take the win away or we just move on to the next hill without even reflecting on what it is that we did.

Dai Manuel
I you know what? Okay, and I say this all the time. I wrote a book like a few years ago and in it I maintain that Nike’s got it all wrong. Okay, so here’s some clickbait right, what he’s saying, you know, I mean, Nike, one of the most well recognized brands globally, right? “Just do it.” I mean, it’s very motivating. But here’s the thing. Why not say, “Just did it.” Like why can’t we celebrate the act of completing what it is that we set out to do? You know, because that’s actually where all that self self efficacy comes from that that ability to tap and say, “Holy crap! I did it.” You know, I’m like much more of that mentality. I’m like, adopt not to just do it but it just did it mentality, focus on the results that are creating the feeling you achieved by completing the thing that you set out to do? You know, like … (Lesley: I love this.) It’s possible, right?

Lesley Logan
I love this. This is so good. Oh my gosh, they did. Gotta say, oh, y’all, I mean, I’m sure you already have this like you have adjusted it hashtag like that. You need to like, you need to adjust it sticker, people need a (Dai: And it’s a checkmark. Not a … Right. So where do you go? You know.) Yeah, this is cool. So what are what are some ways that you have helped people like, either welcome to change or and also like, what do you have them do once they’ve like, done it? Like what is their you have to do the adjusted it? Like, what are the other ways that you have them celebrate? So they can like, keep it going? Because it’s like, it’s the momentum of once you keep going, like it’s easier to keep going, right?

Dai Manuel
That’s right. You know, I love the acronym SMART, right? Like it makes sense Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, Time based goal setting, right? Because we have these big lofty goals and I think we should. As human beings, we have this natural ability in us to strive to be greater than we are, you know, we do we just have this in us, it’s in our DNA. And the cool thing is, is, yeah, there’s gonna be a lot of hard stuff. And I mean, that’s just living a life, you know, you’re going to encounter hard stuff is not a matter of ‘if’. It’s a matter of ‘when’, you know, and it’s common, like the boulder. Right? Is coming at us no matter what. But there’s this cool little thing called resiliency. And, um, you know, my climate change, friends are like, yeah, humanity’s way too resilient, you know. And fair enough, we populated this planet, and we over consume, sure we can go down that path, but look at some of the conditions that we’ve overcome the suffering that we’ve overcome, and yet, there’s like 8 billion of us on this planet. Like that’s, that’s impressive. I mean, yes, it’s evolution. But it’s because we have resilient in our DNA. And I think when you really accept that we haven’t we also accept something that Buddha said, like 2600 years ago, which is taking science a little time to catch up, but but they have proved this now that nothing in our entire known universe is permanent. Everything’s in a change flux, right? So everything’s changing, always changing. So it’s like, okay, we’re resilient. And change is a given. All right, let’s figure out how to navigate change and be a bit more resilient tap into this DNA that’s allowed us to do this. And, and I think it’s just a matter of trying to do hard stuff. I don’t care. And you know, for me, it was like, that little hill, which wasn’t very big, by the way, but for me at that time, and my level of fitness, and where I was at, it was an Everest. But every time it came out, it was just a little bit better than the day before. (Lesley: Yeah.) That’s all it takes. And we’re not talking about massive 100% improvement here. Unless you’re trying to do a pull up for the first time. By the way, you know, if you go from doing zero, pull up to doing one pull up is the only time in your fitness career, you’ll be able to say I had 100% improvement, okay, and after that it’s diminishing returns. But regardless, that one time, it was like, that’s 100% better than I was yesterday. But other than that, you know, it’s just find that thing, and then figure out the little intervals and celebrate those wins, as you said before, and lastly, you know, like, break it down and celebrate the little victories along the way. (Lesley: Yeah.) Because you just did it. Like, hello, like that’s in itself self fulfilling, you know.

Lesley Logan
I love that you said, like, you know, doing some hard things, I think that a) we avoid them. So then anytime a hard thing happens, while people say to us, but it’s happening for them in some way. Like, it’s almost like it like hit you like, like a cold shower. It’s like, what is this thing? That’s hard thing that I have to do, it’s like, but if you are more, if you’re accustomed to doing hard things, often that you have that of your choosing, it makes it a little easier to take on the hard things. You’re like, oh, this is just, I got to do this now.

Dai Manuel
That’s self belief, right? Like, I can do this. I’ve done other hard stuff, you know. (Lesley: Yeah.) And to be fair, you know, it was nice that I learned that lesson early on. (Lesley: Yeah.) It wasn’t telling my early 30s, I realized that, you know, I’d actually exchanged sort of the food escapism, with alcohol escapism, alcohol, in which it would often leads to similar narcotic use as well. And you know, I had a very poor relationship with alcohol, you know. And then in my early 30s, I came to sort of this halt again, this moment where it’s like, I don’t want to be like us anymore. And it was because my wife, actually she, she, we were looking at going sideways, she was like, This is not a healthy environment to raise our kids. And you know, they’re both under the age of six at this time. We’ve been together for almost a decade. And yet, I’d had this perpetuating habit, you know. Because I still often thought of myself as that morbidly obese fat kid, because I didn’t actually do any of the internal work at that point. (Lesley: Right.) I focus on the external, and eventually came to a halt, where my whole life was being turned upside down, because I was valuing alcohol over everything else that I had. And she sat me down this one day, and she was like, “Okay, we’re done.” And we’re both bawling her eyes out, we’re trying to figure out well, how are we going to co parent, you know, because we both loved each other still. Like, we didn’t (Lesley: Yeah.) really want that. But she’s like, looks at me, she says, “Dai, are you being the type of man that you would want to marry your daughters?” And I’ll tell you, honestly, that question, it was like, I got kicked between the legs and punch the nose at the same time. Because it was instantaneous, where I was like, hell no, if someone like me, at that moment in my life at 33 years old, showed up on my doorstep, I’m like, get the hell out of here. But that’s what I was mentoring and modeling to my closest relations, (Lesley: Yeah.) you know, and, and so in that moment, I made a commitment to go when you went out drinking, and a lot of people were like, only a year what you’re talking about, that’s not long, and I’m like, hey, the longest I’ve ever done is like a dry January, okay? And those like 15 years, that was the longest I’ve ever done. And so I committed to that year, and I realized in the first nine, six weeks this is gonna be a hell of a hard thing to do, you know. And that’s when I broke down with my wife and I got really vulnerable with her for the very first time in our relationship after 10 years. I finally opened up and actually poured everything out. She’s like, “You know what? Thank you. I think you need some help. Legit, I’m just being honest.” Like, she was like, “Okay, yes. Thank you for entrusting me to share this, but I don’t know what to do with this.” You know, and to be fair, I didn’t expect her to know what to do. I just, I needed to share and (Lesley: Yeah.) and then I found help, you know, found a psychologist, found a therapist, did I did the work, like I went all in on the work for six months. And after that, six months, I everything shifted for me. And we got to the end of the year, and I’m just going to end the story here. We got to the end of the year, because people probably wonder, “What happened at the end of the year?” Well, my wife’s looking at me, she’s like, “Holy crap, you did it.” You know, like, you just did it. You know, like you did a whole year and I got to be fair, like she didn’t think I could. Honestly, if I’m honest, I periods didn’t think I could. And, like, well, you did it. Do you want to celebrate? Let’s watch the sun go down tonight? And share a bottle of wine. I’m like, that’s sound really nice. No, no, I started thinking I was like, so much in my life has changed in these last 12 months, like so much. (Lesley: Yeah.) What if I keep going? Anyway, I just celebrate 14 years, 14 years, you know like …

Lesley Logan
That’s amazing. (Dai: Is that crazy? Like …) Isn’t that crazy.?(Dai: Yeah.) But it’s also, it’s also amazing, because like, you figured out well, first of all, you had someone put a front of a mirror in front of you like, this is not like, do you really want to be like this? Do you want to be this person? Because this is what your kids are seeing is like a man. Right? And then and then you challenge yourself. And then you found out like, that isn’t work for you. I’m like you and you’ve gone on. And I think sometimes people doubt that. I think sometimes people, you know, do the dry January and they like I feel so good. Or they do a sugar detox, which and they’ll and then they you know, whatever, and then they just go back. And so which some things y’all like your body does me a little bit of sugar, like don’t fucking remove a whole thing without talking to your doctor and making sure it works for you. But you know, like, you don’t need to villainize something. (Dai: That’s right. No, you’re right.) But you know, like, oftentimes people don’t realize, you know, I have someone in my life is like, oh, whenever I have dairy, like I break out, I’m like, so why do you keep having like, what are you doing? You know, but I think it’s, sometimes it’s too hard to keep going. But if we actually just celebrate that, like, this actually worked for me, I did this. And I feel really good. So what if I just keep going and give yourself that permission to continue find out what that changes. So I imagine that is what, like, bird the dating the wife, and so you’ve been dating your wife this whole time. And that is gonna be really fun and interesting. But also, like, how cool for your kids to see that because now they’re gonna have high standards for the partners in their life.

Dai Manuel
Well, and be honest, you know, this last week, we moved my 20 year old or soon to be 20 year old and with her boyfriend, and I was still processing to be fair, but it was, you know, they’ve been together almost three years. So the long time ends, and they’re just very mature. And just, it’s been really cool to just sort of experience this and support them with this, but at the same time, it’s like, wow, wow, you know, and but that’s the thing, you know, we modeled and mentored, you know, because the two most effective ways every single one of us on this planet learn is through mentorship, and modeling. And so you do have to look in the mirror and say, “Well, what am I mentoring? And what am I modeling?” You know, like, “Oh, and also who’s mentoring me?” you know, and then what am I modeling to those that are closest to me, but also, you know, we think about how we show up for our work, you know, into our communities? And do we have that integrity to do the things that we, you know, say what we’re gonna do and do what we say and to be fair, there’s been lots of years of my life where I haven’t felt integral, you know, that feeling sucks. It’s …

Lesley Logan
I mean, I think it totally sucks. And I also think that a lot of people listening you can maybe even right now are like, out of integrity. And that is if you don’t own it, you’re just gonna get more and more pissed at a lot of things and it’s really like that you’re out of alignment for what is like integral for you and that’s, it’s not fun, but that’s good change to like make in your life that’s a great place place to start making change.

Dai Manuel
Perfect place to start, perfect place because all it takes is a day. That’s all it takes is one day. You know, like I always joke with people but I’m like, I know I’m only ever one workout away from feeling better than I am when I’m not feeling in a good place. You know, like I just those good endorphins I get from just getting a little sweat on you know, even just going out for a quick 30 minute walk outdoors, like, instantly my mood shifts, my mental health shifts. (Lesley: Oh) You know, instantly.

Lesley Logan
Instantly. So, oover this normally when we’re on a holiday trip, we want to tour over the, around the whole country, the US everyone and, and normally, the weather is fine enough for me to walk the dogs every day, I can actually get a little workout in, it’s not my normal work, it’s not my normal morning routine, because I’m not in my home. But like, I can do a mini version of it. And I really am like, so proud of that, I coach people on that, I feel so good. Well, this particular Christmas was like the worst weather ever. So cold, there was no, the dogs didn’t even want to be outside. You know, like every was there was no, it was just miserable. And by the time we got home, I just remember like going, like, I just don’t even feel like myself anymore. And I was like, go just go do the thing. So I like sat in from my red light. I took the dogs for a long walk, all of a sudden, I’m like, oh my God, like, it’s so crazy. Like when you’re out of integrity out of align with yourself. It can feel like, why is this happening? But it’s like, oh, just go like, what are the tools that you have used to make yourself feel good. And boom, you’re like, right there again. So yeah, it can be a workout, it can be spending time by yourself, it could be reading a book. There’s just, we have to have that you have to know the tools that make you feel good, so that you can use them when you don’t feel good.

Dai Manuel
And you know, to add to everything you just said because I saw yeah, I’m like drop the mic. Well, don’t drop out. It looks expensive. But but you know what I mean? Like this, that was so well said. But here’s the thing. Ask yourself, you know, what are the things that I would never regret doing? And here’s the thing, right? Like, I’ve never had a client message me and say, you know, you asked me that big healthy salad with like some cedar plank salmon on it for lunch today. Well die. I really regret doing that. You know, like, I’ve never received that message. I’ve never had someone message me. You know, the work that you programmed for me to, yeah I rude regret doing that. Like, no, it there’s certain things that we do for ourselves. We’ll never regret doing. So just do more or less, you know? And remember that feeling that you get by completing that and celebrate that and realize that was on you. You made that happen. You just did that. Like good on you. You know, it’s good on you.

Lesley Logan
That is awesome. I love this. Okay, well, we could clearly keep going forever. But we got to wrap this up because our people’s commutes are probably ending. So we’re gonna take a quick break, we’re gonna find out where people can find you, follow you, learn more from you and your BE IT action items. All right, Dai. So where can people find you, work with you? Where do you like to hang out? Is it socials? Do you have any thing that they can download, learn from?

Dai Manuel
Well, I’m most active on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram. And I’ve been trying that TikTok thingy, but not not not super consistent or whatnot. My kids, they’re definitely trying to help. But you know, the cool thing about having a unique name, you know, thank you, Mom and Dad. You know, this is all pre SEO. But now I’m like, I get it. I get it. They were visionaries, you know, but Dai is a Welsh name for David, D a i. Manuel is Portuguese. So M a n u e l, you put those two together, you got me. And you added the .com on the end of it, you’ll find my website. Okay, so (Lesley: Perfect.) easy to find, shoot me a message. I love just having conversations and hearing about, you know, triumphant and changes that people are achieving. And believe me, it doesn’t matter how small or how huge it’s all triumphant. Okay, it all is. It’s all relative, because the way you do anything is the way you do everything, as they say. So you achieve one little triumph, trust me, you can achieve big triumphs too. And, and that’s it, you know, I’m not here to pitch anything other than say, jeez, you’re not living your best life. You got room to improve on. You know, getting good at it, you know?

Lesley Logan
Oh, my goodness, I love that so much, Dai. Okay, before I let you go bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?

Dai Manuel
Okay, this is the simplest thing I can give you. Well after being in the fitness industry for 20 years, you can imagine I’ve heard a whole lot of excuses. Okay, I’ve heard a lot. I mean, like, everything, you can throw it at me. I’ve probably heard it. Now, here’s the thing. We’ve all got 30 minutes a day. All right. I know there’s people thinking, “I don’t have 30 minutes a day.” I’m like, You know what, give me your smartphone. We’re going and go into the settings and you’re going to look at the thing called screen time. Okay, I know you got 30 minutes now. You know, like, don’t tell me you don’t. Now here’s the thing, that’s only 2% of every 24 hours. So what I want you to do is make a commitment to yourself that you’re going to commit 28 days straight. That’s four weeks, where you’re going to make non negotiable every day, 30 minutes for yourself. And in this 30 minutes, you’re going to do something very specific. You’re going to move your body with purpose for 15 minutes. Okay, you’re just going to move in. I don’t care how you move it, just move it any way you want. As I always say always, always okay, like, move your body for 15 minutes, get your heart rate elevated, you’ll enter your body. So if you did something good, then you’re going to immediately follow that with five minutes of mindful meditation. All right, now that’s 20 minutes. Now for the last 10 minutes, you’re going to feed that muscle between the ears. Okay? And that brain of yours was something positive, intentional, focused, personal development, not professional development, personal development. Okay, we all get lots of professional development that I want you to work on yourself personally. So you can listen to a podcast like Lesley’s, you know, you can listen to a TED Talk. By the way, I did a TED x Talk a year ago on vulnerability and men. (Lesley: That’s so cool.) So there’s a little little plug there. Self plug, sorry, sorry, sorry. (Lesley: I love it.) Also, you know, whatever it is, but feed your mind something positive for 10 minutes. And you’ll find that after exercise in that mindfulness meditation, you’re ready to receive and you become a sponge. But that’s just 2% of your 24 hours. Okay, and in that if you cannot do that for four weeks, I’ve never had anybody come up to me and say, I didn’t experience a big shift. I know you will. Body, mind and spirit you’ll shift. And in case you’re wondering, the Whole Life Fitness Manifesto is the name of the book where I shared the whole protocol for that. So I guess (Lesley: That’s your book?) it was one little plug, one little plug, okay, (Lesley: That’s your book? The whole what?) The Whole Life Fitness Manifesto … to maximize 2% of every 24 hours to see improvements in body, mind and spirit.

Lesley Logan
I love it. We’ll put the links all in the show notes, y’all. Okay. (Dai: Thank you.) I expect everybody listening in the next 28 days to be tagging Dai and myself and letting us know your big shift. I mean, I also I’m instant gratification kind of person. So like maybe somewhere along the first few days, let us know how it’s going. So I can hold you accountable. (Dai: Love it.) Dai, this has been a wonderful conversation. I feel like I’ve a dose of energy from your for your enthusiasm for life. So thank you so much for sharing everything about you, your journey, how you got here and sharing that with us so we can learn from it. And also y’all 2% of your day to be it till you see it. I can’t think of a better way right. So thank you so much and until next time, we’ll see you soon.

—

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

—

Lesley Logan
Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.