Shownotes

In this episode, Lesley and Brad explore the concept of doubling your goals and how it can transform your life. Discover why challenging yourself is the key to achieving your dreams and learn how to prioritize your goals amid life’s demands.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to challenge your comfort zone by doubling your goals.
• The importance of understanding the “why” behind your goals.
• How to set clear intentions and timeline to your goals.
• Why you should embrace the journey, not just the destination.

Episode References/Links:

• WE & LL Weekend in Chicago. Sign up at the beitpod.com/chicago
• OPC Workshops: opc.me/event 
• Business Coaching: https://profitablepilates.com/fitness-business-coaching
• Ready is a Lie by Angie Lee: https://kellifrance.com/2022/06/08/angie-lee-ready-is-a-lie/

Transcript

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Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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Lesley Logan 0:10
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the thought-provoking convo I had with Jake Kaufman in our last episode. If you haven’t yet listened to the interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. So fine, we actually, Jake is a friend we know him we get to spend some time together we kind of briefly chatted about him in a previous podcast for my Enneagram and Keri Ford is his partner. So lots of amazing people come into the pod because we have amazing friends Brad’s so fun. Today, you all is October 19th 2023, if you’re listening to in real time, which means it is Conflict Resolution Day. And according to this day, in the calendar, it says conflicts arise in many areas of our life, such as workplaces, relationships and families. It’s unavoidable process of life. What is important, however, is how we resolve it. Conflict Resolution is not happy, nasty, can be resolved through peaceful methods. So do any complex or stressing you out you can actually call or text us and share your conflict. And we can give advice.

Brad Crowell 1:14
Yeah, so no, we’ll keep it neutral.

Lesley Logan 1:16
I love it. Actually, we should give advice I listened to Don’t Ask Tig and I listened to Elijah (inaudible) and they give advice on conflicts all the time. All the time. And you know what I love? I love to see if like what they answer I agree with and, you know, typically with Eliza we’re on point. Always. I’m gonna tell her that to her face someday. Take a not always no. But I love Tig Notaro. She’s so nice. But like this last episode, I listened to them. I didn’t agree with any advice they gave out. So that’s reallly funny. So you can text we have a number to text us. +1 3-2-3-5-4-6-0 Hold on. +1-3-2-3-5-4-6-6-0-4-2 I would not have chosen that phone number guys. It’s too many numbers.

Brad Crowell 2:06
We might change it but for now you can text us there.

Lesley Logan 2:08
It should be like blah, blah, blah. Be It Pod. Like it should be like it should just spell it out. I know that the kids today are (Brad Crowell: I’ll tell the producers to get this shit together.) The kids today don’t know how to use a phone number. (inaudible) Oh my gosh, I so Little McKenna, because her favorite word is poop. And I told her I said, Hey, my favorite coffee shop’s bathroom is bathroom code is 7667. And I said Do you know what that means? And she’s like, No. And I was like, it spells poop. She’s like, did like I don’t understand how that’s possible. And I was like, Okay, let me explain your phone to you. So anyways, if you have conflicts that are stressing you out, you can call or text us at 323-546-6042. And we’ll give you some advice. We’ll put it in the question section. I think that’s really fun. I do want to say something about conflict. That is I’m not good at this yet. But I remember our coaches from a while back saying like, do you want to win? Like, is it important to you that you are right, or that you work it out? And the thing is, is that sometimes in conflicts, we just want the person to go, you’re right. And like that’s rarely good. Like unless the other person is like also enlightened and like understand is right. Like there are people in your life. Like you can probably pick them out right now that even if you share how somebody makes you feel, they’re never gonna go, oh my god, I’m sorry. I’m the asshole. Like, it’s just not gonna happen. That’s why there’s a conflict there. But you have to kind of go okay, like, do I need to be right? Or do I just need to work this out. And it doesn’t mean like compromising yourself. But it might mean like, just not bringing up 17 things that are bothering you. And just going like, here’s the thing that I really needed to change so that we can like, like, stop being late. As opposed to you’re late, and you’re overbearing, and you call too much. And you’re all these things like what is the one thing that would really if they could change that like could actually make the relationship better?

Brad Crowell 4:00
That sounds pretty personal, but just kidding.

Lesley Logan 4:05
Oh, it’s not about you. But are you feeling guilty about being late all the time? (Brad: Maybe.)

Lesley Logan 4:10
Oh, someone’s guilty. You guys this is how my dad handles a conflict with Brad. He’s like he’s like He says, my dad says it, Brad every fucking time he gets in the car. Not five minutes early, you’re five minutes late.

Brad Crowell 4:22
Right. If you’re early you’re early. Yeah, you know, you’re gonna be on top. We’re gonna be on time they’ll work. Yeah, well listen, you know, we we would happily give you some advice on how you can be it till you see it while trying to resolve your conflict. So yeah. Text us at +1-3-3-5-4-6-6-4. Okay, (Lesley: See?) 323-546-6042.

Lesley Logan 4:52
Well, the way we said it so many times people were like, hold on. repeat that one more time and we did it. But do you see how they don’t flow together, they don’t flow together.

Brad Crowell 5:00
It’s not a flow number.

Lesley Logan 5:02
No, no, my work phone number is really flowy like I will I looked at 10 numbers and I was like, this is the one. Okay, so this week we are oh my gosh, are we still in Cambodia? (inaudible) Yes, we’re still in Cambodia. (Brad: In fact.) We’re getting the house ready for next year as well. Because we’ll have a retreat in October of next year. And if you are on the waitlist for that retreat, you’re gonna get the best price like you’ll get the best price. So because our waitlisters, get the early bird price. Right?

Brad Crowell 5:35
Yeah. So basically, get yourself on that waitlist by going to Lesleylogan.co/retreat. We will be announcing all that stuff the beginning of next year. Right in early next year. Probably January. Yeah, we’d be looking at so we’ll start sending some emails out about that at the end of this year.

Lesley Logan 5:55
Actually, if you’re on the waitlist, I send you an email every month, let you know what’s going on, in fact that people on the waitlist already have the date saved they are like it’s really, we really help you out because we know it takes a lot to plan a big trip. And we have people who are already planning on coming. So it’s possible that it sells out really quickly. So you’re gonna want to make sure on that waitlist.

Brad Crowell 6:12
Yeah, things are starting to get busy again with our retreats. So yeah, don’t wait on this right now. We’re still only running one a year. And there’s only room for 20. So you know, don’t don’t sit on that. Alright, moving on.

Lesley Logan 6:25
Moving on November I am you can sign up for Chicago when you hear this if there’s any spots left. So each of the classes only have sponsor 12. And the workshops only have space for 24. That might sound like a lot of people. It’s not a lot of people because it’s Chicago and there’s a lot of fucking people in there. So you’re gonna want to go to beitpod.com/chicago to snag your spot. That’d be beitpod.com/chicago. Erika Quest and I are teaching team workshop, classical contemporary collides. I’m teaching a workshop on how to build your tower and Springboard class. I have a masterclass there. I’m so excited to be teaching in Chicago, this is going to be a lot of fun. So we’ll be back. And it’s great. And then in December, I will have details on my workshops in Frisco, Texas, the first week of December with Erika Quest soon. First people get to there’s like a group of people get to send it first. Sorry, don’t get mad. They’re inviting us. So they get first dibs. But then we’ll be on tour. So we have already planned this out. By the time you’re hearing this, we already have the cities locked down, we order the things and in fact, we probably are already marketing some of those said cities right now. But at the time we’re recording this. We’re still putting those things in place. But it’s our biggest best tour ever. And I’m so fucking excited about it. It’s gonna be amazing.)

Brad Crowell 7:40
It’s gonna be amazing. We’re gonna be basically rolling out cities as we confirm them, right? So consistently check back there may be a city near you. We’re gonna do 7000 miles on this upcoming tours.

Lesley Logan 7:53
We have people who are all like we will we have some members who already know we’re not coming to their city. And we’re like, oh, we’re hoping to go this city and like two hours away. I’m gonna make that happen. What do you think it’s going to be? I’m gonna start blocking my day out. So we’re driving 7000 miles, you could drive 100? I’m just saying.

Brad Crowell 8:08
Yes, we’ll be able to answer that. Yes.

Lesley Logan 8:10
Yeah. Conflict resolution right there.

Brad Crowell 8:14
In the meantime, get yourself on our waitlist for our events go to opc.me/event opc.me/event.

Lesley Logan 8:21
Yeah, then you won’t have to worry about missing anything with like socials or emails or whatever. Because it is the holidays. It gets crazy. Before getting talking to Jake Kaufman. Do we have an audience question?

Brad Crowell 8:32
We totally do. This came from IG. Thanks so much for asking. The question is I started an online platform because my social media has a good following, but I feel like it’s turning into a full time job. Does it ever simply become a side hustle?

Lesley Logan 8:48
I mean, it’s someone’s full time job. Whether it’s yours or not, is a different story. But this question I really loved and I actually chatted a little bit about it on Instagram, and it got a lot of people going, Oh, my God, I feel so seen because my answer was, yeah, it’s it’s multiple people’s full time jobs. So Brad can pitch

Brad Crowell 9:07
I can definitely attest. I mean, the second person in our company that we ever hired, was to begin supporting the online platform. Yeah, it was a video editor. Yeah. And we brought her in and she said, I need five hours of work a week. I said, perfect. I’m offloading the editing of these classes to you. And so she was editing two classes every single week. But that was like the second person that we hired today our team has grown to more than 20. Yeah, not all of them are working on full time on the on the online platform there there are, I don’t know but like seven to ten people who are working on our platform all the time.

Lesley Logan 9:11
Here’s the hat I still wear for OPC I’m still the content creator. I’m still the social media manager and content creator of that content. I am still the marketing head of said things. You’re writing the emails, I’m writing the emails I am creating the classes I’m done the person filming the classes

Brad Crowell 10:03
Plus you’re planning stuff out too. (inaudible)

Lesley Logan 10:05
And then I also have things I also brought on other teachers thinking that would actually help me out. But I still have to manage them and approve their classes and approve their stuff and their ideas. And I’m still the person who comes up with all the workshops and all the things. So I still have a heavy workload. And sometimes I’m customer service, because people don’t go to customer service, they’ll come to me and I’m like, you come to my DMs. And it’s, I don’t want to I don’t go fuck you. But I want to go, I have no idea what your password is like, I don’t know. I don’t know what you bought that with? Did you put your right email in? So um, sometimes customer service. And then. And then we have Brad who runs the team, we have a project manager who makes sure everything happens on time, we have a full time editor, someone who literally edits so much that he has full fucking time. And we are not even putting out the same amount of content that light plays anytime or any of the other people are. We also have a full time customer service person. And we have Emma she’s like total strategist when it comes to ads and things like that, and conversion. And we have somebody who who schedules those said newsletters we like

Brad Crowell 11:13
All of that said, Listen, don’t cry for me, Argentina. That’s not what we’re not putting this out there. You know, we’re not trying to make you feel bad for us. But we are definitely saying that what started as what we thought was going to be a side hustle and forever recurring revenue. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) it was not realistic for us to have those expectations. Because, you know, now we’re five years into this project. And the fact is, in order for us to go bigger, to go better, to get better quality stuff, to be more consistent with our deliverables, to make our website easier to use, to make sure that (Lesley: I forgot the developers, I forgot all this) make sure that we’re getting, you know, people the support that they need to use the membership. It’s turned into a hell of a project. And we’re quite proud of it, but not in any way, shape, or form is it a side hustle.

Lesley Logan 12:03
Yeah. And I love that you pointed out, it’s like, don’t cry for me. My friend Erica Hood, she’s been on the show before. She actually said, yes, everything you said on this Instagram thing is true. And I still would do it. And so you just have to ask yourself like, like, it’s that idea of like, choose your shit sandwich, like life is, is basically some amazing bread, and some sort of like awesome things that you love, you know, like you love a certain sauce, you love a certain salad, you love a certain cheese, some shit in the middle, some more good stuff and some bread, right? So there’s always going to be a trade off everything. It’s called balance. So you just have like you decided that’s what you want. If you’re like, I hate technology, or I hate social media, or I don’t want to wear all these hats. There’s other ways of making an income stream. And, and but don’t I wish we had known at the time, it wasn’t a side hustle. I wish we would have known like we’re stepping into a full time hustle.

Brad Crowell 13:01
It’s a hungry baby, right? Yes. What we mean by that is it actually never grows up, you’re always going to be producing content for it. So if you’re looking for something that could become a side hustle, you want something that has a start and a stop to it. So that it’s like a course or a webinar

Brad Crowell 13:16
or our work or our workout series, you know.

Brad Crowell 13:20
Yeah, but it’d be a courser webinar, it’s a start and stop, right? So like it could be a sequence of things. The point is that it’s not consistently requiring new content. And then what you can do is you can make the most amazing, incredible, fantastic, super over-deliverable content once Yeah, and then you can focus on the marketing aspect of it. That would be far more of a side hustle than a membership.

Lesley Logan 13:33
And if you are wanting to dive into this, we do all this inside of agency. So you can go to profitablepilates.com/agency to check that out. If you want to book a call and see if you just do the right thing that’s for you, then reach out to the team, you can use that phone number that we repeated 17 times. No, don’t use that. Don’t use that one. Okay.

Lesley Logan 13:46
So on the agency page is a place to book a call with me.

Lesley Logan 14:04
Oh, book a call. And that way you can just see because it’s important that you know these things, so that you can actually make the right decision for you based on your goals. So thanks, you can send your questions into the Be It pod. You can use well you can’t use the phone number for that. And you can use Instagram or, or anything that we find the Be It pod on and send your questions I will answer them.

Brad Crowell 15:45
Okay, here we go. Okay, now let’s talk about Jacob Kauffman. Mr. Jake Kauffman is an author, International Men’s transformation coach and spiritual mentor. He delved deep into the complexities of human motivation and self-worth, specifically his own, to write his new book in order to help men align with their deepest self-truth and authentic self.

Lesley Logan 17:30
I loved a lot, it was really fun. I thought, there’s some really good stuff in there. And so he talked a lot. My favorite thing I think, was probably like, readiness is not a state of being, readiness is a decision. And I

Brad Crowell 17:43
I think that was pretty powerful, too.

Lesley Logan 17:45
I’m like, done, interview done. That’s enough. Just put that on repeat over and over again. It’s a mantra like, because I, we hear this all the time, I’m not ready. I’m not ready. I’ll join when I’m ready. I’ll do this when I’m ready. And it’s like, I just even saying those things out loud, you can clearly hear that readiness is a decision. It’s not a state of being and like, Angie Lee is always about, I think she’s been writing a book called Ready is a Lie. Because the point that you actually do feel ready for things is when you’re almost sort of you’re too late to the game. But like, you’re feeling ready, because so many people have done what you were thinking of doing that now it feels safe, or you have, like, your goal of that thing is no longer scary to you. And, you know, we’ve talked to so many people about goals should be fucking scary. They should be bigger than what you think you can do. Because they actually make you become a new person they make they challenge you. And they actually, they actually make you show up for things that you wouldn’t do. You know, so I, I’m like, I loved it. Like, that’s enough for me to love. But there’s a couple other things in here. But I just, I don’t know, I just really think that is brilliant.

Brad Crowell 18:58
Yeah, I mean, you know, I think even just in relationships and stuff, you know, I remember after my ex right away, I was like, I’m not ready. So I like was 100% unavailable. I didn’t go on dates, I didn’t talk to people about it nothing, right. And when we met even after we started seeing each other for, you know, on and off again for roughly six months, and even then I didn’t feel ready. You know, to make it an official real consistent thing. And that if I had trusted my feelings, I don’t think we ever would have gotten together because I would have continued to break up with you.

Lesley Logan 19:45
You already broke up with me twice. There was not. There was not going to be a third time.

Brad Crowell 19:50
But there was a point where it became had to be a decision and the decision was in direct conflict with the way I felt which was weird because it became this like heart versus head scenario of, you know, the logic, the logical Brad looked at everything written down on paper and was like, yes, but why do I feel afraid? Right? And that, and that was where that was the crux of it for me, because I was like, well, I shouldn’t be ready, but I don’t feel it. But I know that this is, I know that one plus one equals two here. But why does it feel like one plus one equals three? It feels like one, you know, and that’s not that clearly isn’t right. So it became this really internal struggle. But that’s why I really appreciated what he’s talking about what readiness is, it’s not a state of being readiness is a decision that you make. And so when we started dating, I was like, I am ready to date even though I don’t feel like I’m ready.

Lesley Logan 20:47
Yeah, I remember that. Actually. I remember being, I remember being dumped twice.

Brad Crowell 20:56
It’s confusing for you.

Lesley Logan 20:58
The most confusing thing was when you gave me a present, and then you told me not to read into it. I was like, That’s so weird. It sounds strange. But it was a decision for you. I think it was also a decision. I remember that being a decision for me as well, because I remember when you decided that you were, like ready to try and I was like, oh, there’s dog food at my house for a dog that’s not mine. And there’s things here for the next time you come am I, am I ready for this? And I was like, well, it’s a decision we’re making. Here we go. So I think I joke a lot like the reason this podcast even exists, Be It Till You See It is because I don’t often feel ready for most of the things we decided to do. I like actually joke that there’s a lot of times I feel like, you know, when you’re at the top of the roller coaster, and then you get to like, it’s like, I don’t know, I did six flags a lot. And they had this old, old roller coaster. It’s like clink, clink, clink, and like with each one builds up this like? Yeah, but it builds up this like, there’s nerves, there’s excitement, there’s fear, there’s like

Brad Crowell 22:03
It’s true. The anticipation.

Lesley Logan 22:04
The anticipation. Like, when are we at the top?

Brad Crowell 22:06
I wonder if that’s on purpose? I mean, I know it’s the mechanics of the thing. (inaudible)

Lesley Logan 22:11
I think the new ones do it just for the fuck of it. I don’t think they actually make those noises. But the old ones make those noises. Right. And so, but I find that everything we do, I feel like I am going, my arms up. And I’m just like, here we go. I have no idea where this roller coaster is going and I say all that because I don’t ever actually feel ready. But I also know that I can’t go back. Like I know too much. You know what I mean? Like I, I have this idea. I have this goal. I have this thing I have to I have to see it out. And so I actually feel uncomfortable trying things like, you know this for me, like, how annoying was I when I was like we needed this podcast and it’s fine. And you’re like, No, we have to wait another year. And like we need this podcast, like I just could not let it go. Because I had to do it. Because I had this idea I was being I could see how it could work. And I was scared as fuck. But I had to do those things. And so I find like that the simple way of thinking of readiness is a decision versus like a state of being is really, really unique and a great way to summarize things. And I hope that everyone listening to this goes, Okay. Make a fucking decision. Like even if you decide not to do something, that’s fine, but the state of like being in between and waffling is really uncomfortable and very stressful. I’m sure you were very stressed out trying to decide if you should date me or not. I know because you called me to talk about it after you broke up with me. Anyways, we should move on to what you liked.

Brad Crowell 23:47
Okay, so one thing I thought was really interesting was, Jake was talking about happiness, and the state of happiness and the pursuit of happiness, and how it’s kind of a shallow, shallow goal. And I kind of wanted to talk about that a little more, because there’s one thing specifically that resonated with me. First off, he’s like, he’s, he talks about how happiness is is kind of short-lived. It’s a moment. And it’s, it’s not like an ongoing state. You know, and so that’s why, when we like we can trick ourselves into feeling happy by achieving a goal. And then we turn into a goal, like, driven. It’s a goal-driven society that we live in already. But if you’re like, allowing yourself to hit a goal, which is a good thing, not not not a bad thing, but when you hit a goal, we feel good but then what we go like you and I are workaholics. And by nature, it’s just how we are. And we never leave ourselves time between what we just did. And the next thing to appreciate what we just did. So we feel happy for like, just a brief moment. And then we’re like back to the grindstone because we got another goal we have to hit over the next hill.

Lesley Logan 25:18
I don’t love workaholic. And I also don’t totally agree with all of that. But I do understand that we could celebrate, we could spend more time celebrating more. Yes.

Brad Crowell 25:26
Yeah. But But Well, that’s not my point. My point is that if we, if our life turns into goal to goal to goal to goal to goal, and you know, then we’re constantly driving ourselves, you know, to hit that goal, where, and that and that ultimately, like, you know, ultimately, that’s not sustainable. It leads to depression. You know, it leads it leads to you, judging yourself beating yourself up, right. And so

Lesley Logan 25:54
I definitely feel like in 2020, when we did like three Agency Minis, that’s the only time we’ve ever done three in a year, I felt like, okay, we are not sitting in the moment of celebrating what is happening. And we are putting ourselves through too much. And I think sometimes you have to almost some people might have to do too much to understand where that line is. And like and to really understand like, oh, okay, that’s more than I can handle. Now. Let me take a step back. And I agree, like you have to celebrate those moments. Otherwise, you just what are you doing it for?

Brad Crowell 26:27
Yeah, yeah. Well, well. You know, I just thought it was interesting, to, you know, I grew up with, I grew up in the church, and they talked a lot about this idea of contentedness. Right. And I always thought it was a little cheesy. And I always thought it was like, you know, it was an opportunity for people to to slack off and, and call that normal, like, oh, I’m being content, but I’m not actually doing anything. Right. And so I think that’s like, the wrong way to look at that first off, like today, but I also think that like, let’s like a completely other side of the coin, where it’s like, you’re going from goal to goal to goal to goal to goal, or you’re like doing nothing. Those are like the two extremes. I wonder if there’s a way that we could marry the two, you know, like, it’d be meet in the middle. And

Lesley Logan 27:16
I think you’re calling me and I look for balance. And we already know that that’s not real. But I also I do I remember the church, I remember like people saying you’re never content. And I remember going, why the fuck should I be? This is not good enough. And I think like, I think contentment is something that you get to define what that is, and it’s absolutely fucking okay, if what you’re in right now is not something you want to be content with. However, if you are not ever taken a moment to give your like, reflect back on what you have fucking done. You are, you are going to burn out. Right. But I do. I do think like,

Brad Crowell 27:59
I don’t think I have the answer for this.

Lesley Logan 28:01
I know. I don’t. I don’t think it’s I think it’s individual. But I do understand I hate like, I just want to be happy. Well, yeah, I feel like that’s a decision too I feel like just like, I feel like happiness is a decision you can be I have we have when we were in LA, I met many a happy homeless person. I’m, being really honest. Not everyone. But there was some people who were like, truly kind and nice.

Brad Crowell 28:25
I wonder, I wonder if we could amend. If we had a further conversation with Jake, maybe we would amend that statement, that happiness is fleeting, maybe its goal, like, say achieving goals is fleeting, right? And the happiness is where you what you can find between the goals? (Lesley: Well, I think I love your bringing this up.) You know, the idea of chasing rainbows. And, you know, not that like rainbows are I mean, I don’t know if I agree with that. Because rainbows, you’ll never actually catch them. (Lesley: No we try, we catched one, we did.) We did, we actually went under one we’re like we did, it’s gone.

Lesley Logan 28:56
It’s gone. We’re like I was trying to film it. It was like, I don’t know what crazy but I actually, you know, here’s the thing. Remember, we had James Patrick on and he was talking about how the goal cannot be I get a magazine cover. The goal has to be the actions that I take that I have control over. And I think most people’s goals, including what they define as happiness, have way too much to do with things they have no control over. And that’s why it’s shallow. Or maybe that’s not the best word but fleeting.

Brad Crowell 29:34
Well, even if you achieve it, like you know, like, like, you know, I want to get whatever it is in your life, whether it’s a business move you’re making or a car you need to buy or a school you want to go to or whatever, you know, like you did it you got that, you know, and then the most what we’re taught as a society is like (Lesley: What’s next?) What’s next and that’s I think, oh is the issue. That’s where it’s the quote-unquote chasing rainbows. Just jumping from goal to goal to goal.

Lesley Logan 30:01
Every woman listening to this understands this because it’s like, oh, you’re dating when are you getting married? (Brad: Oh, right. Oh, congratulations when are you having kids? – inaudible – Oh, I need this.) Oh my, you know what I loved so much. When we bought this house, we actually, talk about fleeting. We literally fucking sign way too many papers you guys and then got on a flight at two in the fucking morning. So not even eight hours later, from signing the papers on this house, we got on a plane to go to Korea. And thank God for our amazing co-workers and friends. They’re not like they’re just colleagues, actually, they all made a point to make sure they celebrated us buying our house, because we weren’t at home to celebrate buying our house, you know, (Brad: We were gone for two more weeks.) I really just appreciated them all so much. I don’t think that they even know the power of what that was. But just that every single day somebody there was like, oh my god, congratulations on your house like, and I just felt like that was so special. And so maybe we can actually do is it’s really hard to like take to like understand yourself and your celebration. But what if the people around you, you help them celebrate their, what they achieved more. And even later, even a week after? Hey, I saw this congratulations so that you can kind of help because if you do that for them, it’s reciprocity. They’re gonna do it for you, they’re gonna realize how good it is. And again, I don’t think happiness should ever be the fucking goal. I do go back to like, how can we be the best fucking person that we can ever be so that the people around us lives are better because we’re in it. And, and that goes to like this book that he wrote, he wrote this book to help people based on what he experienced in his life and what he learned. So you could pay that forward. And I think that that’s like whether you read a book, whether you’re a teacher, whether you’re a parent, whatever, we’re all actually just trying to leave, I hope, I don’t know. But I like to think that you’re listening this podcast, you’re all we’re all trying to leave this world a better place than we found it. And that’s a fucking great goal, rather than happiness being the goal. Anyways, I guess we like pontificated a little bit. Okay, that’s what the recap’s for.

Brad Crowell 31:11
Stick around.

Brad Crowell 31:55
Alright, so finally, let’s talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executed, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Jacob Kauffman? So okay, so ironically, we talked about goals. But we didn’t talk about the the achievement of goals. Instead, we talked about the challenge of the work that you do to achieve the goal, right. So double your goals is what Jake was talking about. So, you know, he said, if you have a goal, write it down, and then double it. So if you if it’s monetary or quantitative, you can literally just put times two, if it is time-sensitive, cut the time in half. And challenge yourself because he said we often set safe goals for ourselves, as well. And the safe goal would be like, Oh, I think I’m gonna write a book in five years. Yeah. Right. And he’s like, what if you did it in two and a half? Or what if you did it instead of 12 months? You did it in six months? Right? And I thought that was cool. Because, you know, not that it’s not that we want to focus on only the achievement of the goal, although we do believe in celebrating your wins and achieving a goal is a win. But in this case, what we’re talking about is challenging yourself with the actions that you’re taking. And, you know, he said that most people set goals that are you know, we we’d be surprised of what we can do if we actually pushed ourselves.

Lesley Logan 35:05
Yeah, yeah, I think I actually really enjoyed like cutting the time in half or, or doubling the goal. You know, I think I talked about this with an episode is coming out soon with Michael and broke and we brought him back. He has a massive goal of having 10 New York Times bestsellers. That’s a massive, it’s a massive goal. And he definitely has not cut the time in half. But I would say he, that’s a fucking huge goal that like really challenges him to be a different person. But it made me think of and her name is escaping me still. And I think you could help me. Remember the woman who we had on the pod and a webinar who wanted to do like the bold like bodacious, like not bodacious, probably the bat like, like the bigger than God goals like that was her whole thing. Do you remember her? Joanna Vargas refer to her and Halina as it’s like, it’s a beautiful name, and I can’t think of her name. But she, she talks about having these goals that are so beyond what you actually could figure out on your own, so that the universe actually has to step in and meet you with your preparation. And I really fucking I think this is what that makes me think of. Because sometimes we work with people all the time. They’re like, I want to make $30,000. And look, there’s nothing fucking wrong with you if you want to make $30,000. But when you’re paying me 10% of that, I want you to make a little bit more because I know what taxes are. I know what costs are. So I think sometimes we play small because we want to actually hit the goal. And if we forget that, like the journey along the way, like if you set a goal for 60,000, and you make 45, it’s still fucking amazing. Because what you had to become to do that is way bigger than the person who had it make 30,000.

Brad Crowell 36:48
Yeah, it really pushes you and I think one more comment about this. Jake said to write these down, first off, what is your goal than double your goal? And he said, also write down. This is the action that you’re going to take. And the reasoning behind it. Why do I want this goal? Answer the question. What will this enable or empower me to do? And then only then how am I going to get done? Yeah. Right. So that’s,

Lesley Logan 37:18
I do like the how being after the why, and what will those will enable me to do? So. Now,

Brad Crowell 37:24
there was one more step and I thought it was Yeah, it’s really poignant.

Lesley Logan 37:27
Yeah, this is mine. You’re going to make a contract with yourself. Yep, you go, you’re actually gonna write down I, then your name, am officially unavailable for any other outcome. And then you sign it, and you date it. And then by when you will accomplish it. So that you’re solidifying the commitment and ensuring accountability. This clear intention and timeline will help and I think this is actually really cool. Because even, you guys, even if you fucking miss your deadline, if you were actually taking the steps to get there on time, you fucking won anyways, like, deadlines have to get moved all the fucking time. But if you are moving the deadline, because you actually would take any actions, but you just need more time. And you didn’t know it or whatever, that’s fine. If you’re moving if you keep hitting the 10th deadline, because you didn’t actually take the actions. That means you didn’t really want it anyways. Like that’s you’re procrastinating for a reason.

Brad Crowell 38:21
Yeah. So I think there’s something really interesting about the idea of making a commitment to yourself making a contract with yourself. Because it levels it up, it takes it to it puts you in a position where you take it more seriously. And I think it’s really easy for us to be like, if I don’t tell anybody about it. Or if I don’t write it down, (Lesley: If I keep it to myself) then no one will know. If I fail (Lesley: no one will know) it doesn’t really matter anyway.

Lesley Logan 38:55
And like, it’s fine. Because no, you know, it’s okay. Like, it’s okay, if it doesn’t happen, like the stories you fucking tell yourself.

Brad Crowell 39:01
Right. Or, you know what, I really needed to take care of my kids. And so they take precedence over me. You know, whatever it is. (Lesley: That could be true.) Well, no, of course it’s true. But it becomes it can become like the life can become an excuse. Oh, yeah. You don’t look at your, your goals or your thing as as something that actually needs to be done. And so when you make a contract with yourself, or a commitment to yourself that’s that’s a whole nother level to you know.

Lesley Logan 39:34
Yeah, you are so right. I’ve met many an amazing woman who has children and shit going on, and other shit going on. And they still make their things happen. It’s not because they have more money than you. It’s not because they had better luck on their side. It’s because they literally were like, I’m going to just get up I’m going to write for fucking five minutes like we interviewed somebody who like, literally got up at 4am to write for one hour before everyone started waking up because (inaudible)

Brad Crowell 40:04
I don’t even like the idea of like, oh, just like, like, you know, just get up, the people get up at 5am. And they only wants to succeed (inaudible) But I think I think that

Lesley Logan 40:14
No. My point is that they prioritize their goal, even with all the shit.

Brad Crowell 40:18
Yes. And that’s, that’s I agree, I agree. And that’s it.

Lesley Logan 40:21
You could also stay up one hour later or you could do it on your lunch break. Or remember we interviewed what’s her name Kim, who would go into work and she’d write for 15 minutes on her book before she start her work day. Like, it’s just about like, okay, it’s, it doesn’t have to, it doesn’t be perfect. I think that too often, we’re waiting for perfect circumstances to work on the goal. And that will never ever happen. The stars are never going to align in this perfect, amazing space. Because what’s gonna happen like, Oh, my God, I’m just gonna lay down and take a nap. I’m so tired. So it’s just about going okay, I only have five minutes. I’m going to work on this thing that I truly want for myself for five minutes.

Brad Crowell 41:01
Yeah, and I think the consistency of it. You know that you’ll you’ll make the decision to be consistent on it when you level up your commitment. And that contract is really helpful.

Lesley Logan 41:13
I’m Lesley Logan and I’m Brad Crowell. Thank you so much for listening to us. We are so grateful for you. I can’t believe it. What happened it’s (inaudible) holy fucking moly. This is brilliant. We would never be here if it wasn’t for your ears and your comments and your views and your awesomeness. So thank you so very much. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Are you gonna write that contract we want to know and send us in your questions or your conflict resolution wonders, and we will answer on the next podcast. Until then be it till you see it.

Brad Crowell 41:18
Bye for now.

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Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

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Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘Bloom Podcast Network’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
It is produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velasquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.