Tips to Schedule
Your Day as a
Ep. 112 with Lesley & Brad
“Journey is not a waste, everything is setting you up for the next step.”
How much of your day is spent scheduling and just trying to fit everything into the day? LL and Brad share how they are managing their time as business owners and how to infuse gratitude into your journey.
If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!
And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.
In this episode you will learn about:
- How to schedule your day as a business owner
- When it’s time for an assistant
- The journey is not a waste
- Naming each voice in your head to address
- Say thank you for each experience
- Ethan Kross: Chatter The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It: https://amzn.to/3GLLd6c
- Full Body in 15 registration: https://offers.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-full-body-in-15
Lesley Logan 0:01
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.
Brad Crowell 0:46
All right, all right, all right. Welcome back!
Lesley Logan 0:49
To the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into this gracious conversation with Kellee Forkenbrock. U’m, sorry everyone Brad has has given me a lot of hand signals. It’s like a fucking facement coach.
Brad Crowell 1:03
… a second ago you weren’t sitting off to the left of the mic. You were actually on the mic. So now ….
Lesley Logan 1:08
We’re gonna keep all this in. (Brad: Yeah, we’re keeping it. We’re keeping it.) Not like literally he looks like either like an airplane person like trying to lead the plane in or …
Brad Crowell 1:16
If you’re watching on YouTube, I’m really good at hiding. So my arm goes off to the side of the camera. And then I’m like, I’m signaling from the side.
Lesley Logan 1:24
By the way it means my eyes go all the way over to the third baseman (Brad: It’s true.) to the right and then I have to assume (Brad: It’s true.) “What is he pointing at?” (Brad: Yeah, it’s usually …) Is there something in my hair? (Brad: No.) Is there something on my teeth? (Brad: No.) Anyways, that’s … (Brad: You’re beautiful.) Thank you. Thank, you know what? (Brad: Winning, right here.) Well, actually, I’m already using Kellee’s BE IT action item. (Brad: I love it.) So, Kellee Forkenbrock in our last episode, if you haven’t yet listened to her interview, what are you doing? Go listen.
Brad Crowell 1:51
What are you doing?
Lesley Logan 1:52
Seriously? I can’t wait to drive through Iowa because Kellee, Rachel, Sandy Brown
Brad Crowell 1:57
It’s gonna be a good hang. I’m looking forward to it.
Lesley Logan 1:59
Actually, Jenn Voss was there now. Frickin, we’re gonna have the best hangout session. (Brad: Yeah, it’s gonna be good.) And I’ve always wanted to know a librarian and I know your cousin is one but (Brad: Yeah) she’s sorry to your cousin. I think she’s my favorite. So, (Brad and Lesley laughs) if you haven’t …
Brad Crowell 2:15
Sorry, you also don’t know my cousin very well, so fair enough.
Lesley Logan 2:18
I know. Not yet. Not yet. We’re gonna we… it’s only Christmas time when I see her. So, um, if you haven’t yet listen to that … what are you doing? Go back. Listen to that one. You can listen after this one. You can hit pause on this one. Whatever you want to do. But anyways, you gotta listen to Kellee because she is amazing.
Brad Crowell 2:33
She’s pretty much fire.
Lesley Logan 2:35
She’s fire. (Brad: That’s true.) Also, she has two names.
Brad Crowell 2:39
She does have two names, and you’re gonna have to figure out why she has two names (Lesley: Y’all listen to the episode.) when you listen to the episode. (Lesley: Yeah) (Brad laughs)
Lesley Logan 2:45
Okay. So, at the time you’re listening this Brad and I are in Colorado. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) Kicking it in Denver. (Brad: Yeah) We’re hanging out with some of our podcast guests like Michael (Brad: Yeah, where we at.) Unbroken and we are at Momentum Fest which is (Brad: We are at Momentum Fest.) Jessica Valant, who was one of our podcast guests. She is the founder of Momentum Fest and we’re so so friggin excited to be there. (Brad: Yeah.) So it’s …
Brad Crowell 3:09
By the way, it’s super fun and it’s not Pila… not necessarily only Pilates. (Lesley: It is movements.) It’s movement. (Lesley: Yeah) So it’s a ton of fun, yoga, barre, dance, Pilates, all the things (Lesley: There’s meditation and everything.) Yeah, (Lesley: Yeah) it is, it’s an absolute blast. (Lesley: and us. and we’re there.) Yeah. And then and then I hang out at the merch booth the whole time. (Lesley: Yeah.) Lesley teaches and she … (Lesley: I hang out with like John Steele.) She corrals John Steele. (Lesley: We gonna talked to John Steele one day.) Oh, we should have him on the pod.
Lesley Logan 3:38
I mean, we’ve already had him on our (Brad: We had.) if you’re an OPC member you actually can see the coolest freakin interview. (Brad: It’s an incredible.) Not even what’s on my notes to talk about but (Brad: No, not at all.) OPC members have access to this incredible interview we did with John Steele. And we surprise John Steele with Jay Grimes which if you’re not a Pilates teacher, you’re like, oh … (Brad: Who are these people? Yeah, doesn’t mean anything.) words they don’t know. But Joseph Pilates is a man and John Steele, (Brad: It’s a good place to start.) it’s like pseudo adopted son and he wrote a book and Brad’s parents also picked up the book because I left it downstairs one year and I promptly decided to hide it when I got to the part where it just says Pilates teaches people have better sex. And I was like, “Let’s just not let your parents get to that page.” Anyways, Jay Grimes also does a Pilates and Jay always admired John. And so I had to surprise John …
Brad Crowell 4:27
It was an incredible opportunity (Lesley: Yeah) because we know Jay really well. Jay is Lesley’s teacher. So having John Steele on, we already knew, because we had a, we had a dinner with Jay, he told us all about this book. We have to read it and he told us all about how much he admired John. And then when we were at Momentum Fest a year ago, we had a booth across from John (Lesley: Yeah) and I got a chance to hang with him all weekend. (Lesley: John has …) Lesley, hung with him all weekend.
Lesley Logan 4:54
John has a pod hat. John is one of the first people to own (Brad: Yes, he has a Be It pod hat.) the Perfect is Boring trucker hat. (Brad: Yeah) Because an 80 something year old man with a wiry curly hair, (Brad: Yeah) wearing the trucker hat and fuckin’ kelly green.
Brad Crowell 5:09
Pretty cool. Pretty cool. (Lesley: Pretty cool.) Pretty cool. (Lesley: Anyways …) Anyway, so we surprise John with Jay and it was lovely. So if you’re an OPC member, you get to see that (Lesley: Yeah) is part of the Facebook group. So anyway, moving right along …
Lesley Logan 5:21
Really quickly, just so you all know, speaking of Pilates, if the idea of better sex, or just the fact that Joseph Pilates as a real human being and other people followed him it has you intrigued or you are just a mat lover in general, the Full Body in 15 doors are open. (Brad: Yes) The link is in the show notes. I’ll tell you it’s onlinepilates.classes.com/, no, maybe it’s not that, it’s probably fullbodyin15.com. Brad, what is it? We’re gonna edit this out? If we don’t know… (Brad: It’s fullbodyin15.com) Great. Go there fullbodyin15.com (Brad: Yeah) and the doors are open.
Brad Crowell 5:55
Yeah. So base… basically, just for those of you who might not know Full Body in 15 is for newbies, beginners, people who are not like, you know that anyone who anyone is welcome to join us. If you’ve been doing Pilates forever. You’re (Lesley: Yeah) welcome to join us for it. (Lesley: Yeah) But this is a beginner’s program for people who maybe they’re runners or weightlifters or you know, whatever yogi
Lesley Logan 6:19
If you’ve heard that you should try out Pilates but you’ve not (Brad: Right.) it’s for dancers, right? It’s not. I’m not one. It is the best thing to add to anything you already love. (Brad: Yes) And it is going to, we’re teaching you how to do a full body workout in 15 minutes. (Brad: Yep) We actually teach you how to be the teacher of your own body. It’s super great. If you are …
Brad Crowell 6:39
It’s actually really great because (Lesley: Brad did it.) I’m such a nerd about like, technique, and, you know, like structure and all that kind of stuff. And in this in this week long program, there’s three workshops there, you know, roughly 90 minutes and Lesley goes through the ‘why’ of the exercise is. (Lesley: Yeah) And also the ‘how’, the why and the how. (Lesley: The what, the why.) Right. Yeah and who, I mean …
Lesley Logan 7:06
You know, the ‘who is you’ and the ‘win’ is when we’re doing it. (Brad laughs) So here’s the deal. It’s the it’s a free program. So let’s just get to, it’s a free program. (Brad: free program) And if you are a Pilates professional, and you’re like, “Wait, I still kind of want to go.” You can come. (Brad: Yeah, join us. No biggie.) you absolutely can come. We had a ton of teachers join us last time. But this is if you are a mat, if you like literally all you have is room, all you own is like space on the floor to lay down. This is for you. (Brad: Yeah) Go to fullbodyin15.com to sign up.
Brad Crowell 7:31
And if you are a Pilates person and your significant other, you’ve been trying to convince them to do Pilates forever, and they don’t listen to you. And you think that they might listen to somebody else. You can have them join us.
Lesley Logan 7:44
I… Last time we had an osteo path.
Brad Crowell 7:47
We had the husband (Lesley: of a Pilates teacher) who never does Pilates (Lesley: who is an osteopath) and he watched it and he’s like, (Lesley: He did it.) oh, she understands the body. (Lesley: Yeah) This is really cool. (Lesley: Yeah) And that so that there’s that.
Lesley Logan 7:59
Yeah, I mean, I hope he recognizes that his wife also applies.. of Pilates instructor …
Brad Crowell 8:02
I’m sure she, I’m sure, I’m sure he was like, “Oh, okay.” (Lesley laughs) Yeah.
Lesley Logan 8:06
It’s okay girl. (Brad: I hope so.) My husband also only does it when we have a reteat or so. (Brad: Busted) … thrown under Brad. Okay. Do we have an audience questions this week?
Brad Crowell 8:15
We do, we do. We totally do. If the audience question is, what is that sound in the background? (Lesley: That’s Bayon.) That’s our Bayon.
Lesley Logan 8:23
He’s looking at me. (Brad: Yes) It’s too early.
Brad Crowell 8:25
Yeah, (Lesley: it’s too …) it’s way too early buddy. (Lesley: too early for our walk) Like hours hours too early.
Lesley Logan 8:29
No, the winter really screws (Brad: Yeah) up because I think he gets his clock wrong. (Brad: Yeah) Anyway,
Brad Crowell 8:33
All right, so the question we got from an audience member, and that was submitted through Instagram, on our Instagram channel was, “How is it possible that you get all the things done that you do? I feel so overwhelmed, and it’s, it’s like, I need more than one of me. Do you have an assistant? When do you know if you need an assistant?”
Lesley Logan 8:56
Yeah. So okay, first of all, thank you.
Brad Crowell 9:00
There’s a lot of questions all in one, I think it was great. (Lesley: Yeah) Thanks for that.
Lesley Logan 9:03
So I you know what? I literally get how do you get everything done in my DMs on a regular basis. And if you were like, “I (Brad: Yeah) wanted to ask you that too.” You’re gonna keep asking, I’m gonna send you this episode. So here’s, here’s the deal. In the past when it was just myself and myself, and I paid Brad’s company to help. I feel you, like I frickin fill you and I was so scared. I was so scared to hire. I didn’t think I could afford it. I didn’t think my business was big enough. I don’t know who I thought assistants were for. But a lot of the stuff we actually, like a scheduling tool was like hugely essential to getting things done because you’d be surprised what technology can do if they can work like a human.
Brad Crowell 9:51
Let me just start, let me just start over (Lesley: Okay) because when we met, you were texting all of your clients, (Lesley: I was.) every time, every week
Lesley Logan 9:58
So you are doing that, you’re not alone, I too texted. I had over six figure teaching business 20 hours a week. (Brad: And she was texting all of her clients.) Texting clients, (Brad: and …) confiming them through text. I never had a day off because they were texting me on my day off to reschedule.
Brad Crowell 10:12
On Sunday, Saturday, it didn’t matter. It was like she was always texting people to book them. And then she had this hilarious like frenzy. She was like, “Hey, Thursday at three just opened up who wants it?” And then like, …
Lesley Logan 10:25
Yeah, and that was the whole (Brad: you know) thing (Brad: but) and that was annoying. And then I had a client, who was a 6am client, and he would text me at 5:45 in the morning, going, “I’m hungover. I’m not coming in.” I’m like, fuckin’ jerk.” Because like, so I had to have a talk with him. I was like, “You, if you are drinking the night before, and you do not cancel me at the bar. I’m charging you double. (Brad: Yeah) Do not text me 15 mins before because I’m already up. I’m already on my run.” (Brad: I’m already there.) I could have slept in. (Brad: Right) So anyways, (Brad: totally) so
Brad Crowell 10:54
Anyway, so the point …
Lesley Logan 10:56
The irony is, he’s the guy, we got the scheduling tool from. (Lesley laughs)
Brad Crowell 10:59
Yeah, that’s true. So he had a scheduling tool business. And when we were talking about it, it was like, “What if all of this stuff was not something you’re texting them. Instead, it was in a scheduling tool.” And we worked with them for like two or three years to try to build a scheduling tool that was specifically for fitness people. And that was obviously a competitor to Mind Body. And because we were we were annoyed at it. And it was also really costly.
Lesley Logan 11:30
That was too expensive. It wasn’t like, I would rather have a real like human being assistant, if I was going to spend 200 bucks, I’d like you know
Brad Crowell 11:36
Yeah, I mean, you’re you’re managing 20 or 30 clients. Right? (Lesley: Yeah) And spent $200 a month to do that didn’t seem to make sense. So anyway, we, we started working with this company to build an app that we could then turn around and offer to other Pilates instructors. And unfortunately, that didn’t last the way that we had hoped. And after some time, the company actually decided not to build the fitness app. And so we’re like, alright, and you know, it’s fine. Our business changed, our business had changed a bit at that point. So we were (Lesley: Oh yeah …) doing things a little differently, but (Lesley: and then the pandemic) and then the pandemic, and that obviously jacked it all up. But during the pandemic, the craziest thing happened, we were approached by another software company, and they said, “Hey, we love what you’re doing with Profitable Pilates, you should check out what we’re doing. We would love to customize our app to do what you want.” (Lesley: Yeah) And I was like, “I’m sorry, say that last part again?” So we get a chance to sit down with them and to review what it is that they’re doing. And then we got to add in fitness business coaching (Lesley: Yeah) to their (Lesley: Yeah) amazing scheduling tool. (Lesley: Yeah) And that was like I wish that had been there when we were looking for a (Lesley: Oh my God) scheduling tool years before. (Lesley: Yeah) and now this is the only scheduling tool out there that has a fitness business coaching built into the app, (Lesley: Yeah) you know, and it’s all directed by you know Lesley, so the the anyway you you need this app because it’s going to save you all of that time texting, all that time scheduling, you’re going to automatically be charging people for late cancels, all this stuff (Lesley: Yeah) and what what circling back around (Lesley: to this question) to the question all of this stuff takes so much time.
Lesley Logan 13:27
People don’t realize like actually how much time it takes until they have to do it anymore. The the the the idea that when you go to check your text messages, your business is blended with your personal life is overwhelming, (Brad: That’s actually stressful.) it’s very stressful (Brad: Yeah) Brad is very big on this, we don’t like he and I try really really hard not to even text each other about business. (Brad: Yeah) Like we it is like a last record like, “911. Holy get on here.” (Brad: Yeah, texts each other. Right.) But um so I, if you are a fitness business instructor and you are overwhelmed, you need my scheduling tool, get in the show notes to get the 30 day free trial, (Brad: Yup) it will act as an assistant for you and it’s like the fee once you start is 50 bucks a month. I promise you you cannot find an assistant for 50 bucks a month and so it’s going to take over a lot of the busy work that you have to do especially the bookkeeping, the payroll, the the package can’t count…
Brad Crowell 14:18
Yeah, if you have a team there’s a there’s another level that does teams you can pay them all the things. Anyway (Lesley: anyway) but the the I think that the biggest thing is the mental space that you’re going to get back (Lesley: Yeah) that you don’t have to think about, “Oh, I have to remember to text this person because they canceled or no …”
Lesley Logan 14:34
And that’s overwhelming like keeping all that in your head. (Brad: Rght) And you’re gonna miss it and then you’re gonna and then if you are overwhelmed right now, I know you, if you’re listening to this podcast, you are a recovering or like still a perfectionist overachiever person. Hi, I see you. And you are going to get mad at yourself when you forgot to text someone in time to get them scheduled for something and you’re like, “I lost that money.” You need a scheduling tool. I promise (Brad: Yeah) you. I don’t care how little you think your business It’s going to allow you to feel legitimate, it’s going to take your business away from your personal life and allow you to have space and grace. (Brad: Yeah) The other thing … (Brad: … oh, God.) Oh, I was just gonna go to the next question …
Brad Crowell 15:10
Oh, so if you if you have any interest in how Lesley schedules her actual calendar, we’ve got a free webinar on that that also will lead you to this our scheduling tool, the webinars called Ditching Busy and ditchingbusy.com. (Lesley: Yeah) If you want to go directly and skip the webinar and go directly to download the app, we will put that link in the show notes.
Lesley Logan 15:33
Yeah. So the second question is, or the second two questions, “Do have an assistant when you need to know you need an assistant? (Brad: Yeah) So in full transparency, we all have assistants in our company, because while I have, like the tools for people to schedule with me, I actually need someone to help me schedule me for other things. (Brad: Sure) So um, so that could not be automated by a bot. Anyway. And so and Brad, same thing like he, he has, we have a scheduling tool for him. But we need someone to monitor that and also help him get things on the book.
And protect my calendar, and all, you know, I double book myself sometimes all the things, you know.
Yeah, so so in fact, we do have assistants, even our operations person has an assistant now, how do you know you need assistant? When like you have made sure you’ve automated everything you frickin can (Brad: Yeah) and you still can’t get it all done. (Brad: Yeah) You need and you also need …
Brad Crowell 16:33
And when you when you feel like you’re barely keeping your head above water, (Lesley: Yeah) and you’ve already put automations in place, because that’s like, like, for example, we we had the first assistant that we ever hired. You know, she was with us for four years. (Lesley: Shout out to Lindsay.) Yeah, Lindsay, she’s the most organized person we’ve ever met. She’s amazing.
Lesley Logan 16:34
Seriously, I know. And she’s … (Brad: but after …) all of these things. And I’m like, “That girl’s kid is going to be the most organized child.”
Brad Crowell 16:51
But after two years, she was like, “Hey,” and she raised her hand, she’s like, “By the way, I’m so maxed on my hours, I can’t do anything else.” And we went back and we looked at all the things we had asked her to do two years ago, and we’re like, “Oh, you’re still doing that.” PS, we can automate that now. And so we took like, almost a third, maybe even half of what we had originally asked her to do. And we turned it into some kind of an automation, which freed up a bunch of time for her to be able to do the things that were actually benefiting us, (Lesley: Yeah) you know, so (Lesley: and so I know …) automation is first and then you know, you need to then when you still like, “Wow, I just can’t manage it all.” That’s when you would consider bringing on an assistant.
Lesley Logan 17:37
And you would bring on an assistant and you didn’t ask this but I’m gonna tell you whose strengths are your weaknesses. So you’re not hiring another you. You’re hiring someone who is like, I am so not detail oriented, literally came in with an idea to the team and I’m like, “Great, can you tell my assistant that idea and tell her to help me schedule it.” And that’s just (Brad: Right) because my strengths are not details, that is not and when I have to get in the details, it immediately pulls me into this like I get frickin negative to be honest I like get pissy, I like don’t have an abundance mindset. So I have learned to delegate that off into people whose strengths are the details. So I love this question. Thank you (Brad: Great question.) for asking. (Brad: Yeah) Really amazing. If you have a question for us that you would like our opinion on, just DMs at the @be_it_pod. (Brad: And it can be anything.) Yeah, you can ask Brad about his cactuses. He loves it.
Brad Crowell 18:27
I mean, we were just listening to Iliza (Lesley: Schlesinger) Schlesinger. And her the questions she gets are, (Lesley: Yeah) they make no sense to me why, anyway, ask them because how could she possibly …
Lesley Logan 18:40
You want to ask me about our wedding? You can ask us about our wedding.
Brad Crowell 18:42
… Be an expert on some of this stuff. But I love it. I think it’s amazing. So you can ask us anything.
Lesley Logan 18:47
You can ask us anything. It does not have to be business. It does not have any Pilates. (Brad: Nope) It can literally be like, like, you know, what’s your favorite water bottle? Which I will tell you once they freakin pay me because I’m obsessed with this bottle everyone.
Brad Crowell 18:58
Yeah, yeah, we’ve got a new company.
Lesley Logan 18:59
I’m obsessed (Brad: They are pretty cool.) And the moment you hear me talking about it. Yes, I’m getting paid. And yes, you’re gonna buy it. (Brad laughs) Anyways, I think we should talk about Kellee.
Brad Crowell 19:08
Yeah, let’s talk about Kellee. All right. Eliza David, (Lesley: whoa) when a pen is in hand, and Kellee Forkenbrock on the day to day, when she’s working in the library. She’s hanging with her kids or attending grad school. Kellee is an author, student, librarian and Mama whose life began at 40. Or so she says when she decided to get sober and started following her passions. (Lesley: Okay …) So I’m just gonna say that again. She’s got two names because one is her pen name. And the other is her real name. (Lesley: Yes. Okay.) Yeah. (Lesley: So) I know we just gave it away even though we told you at the beginning that you need to do listen the other episode but …
Lesley Logan 19:49
You know if they made it this far. Now they’re in. You’re in. (Brad: It’s true. Now you’re in.) First of all, also, I think if you buy her books on Amazon and like 99 cents and there’s some free ones.
Brad Crowell 19:56
Yeah. They’re 99 cents, she’s got one free and the others at 99 cents. (Lesley: Yeah and …) So go support Eliza David. That’s what with the z – e l i z a
Lesley Logan 20:04
And if you’re not if you’re like, “I don’t do steamy romance.” Let me just tell you after Dr. Celeste, and the, you know, the Fifty Shades of Grey, I think we all could use, like a little reprieve of like learning things and you know all this stuff like go let your mind wander. So, go go read her books. I think that’d be great. She’s amazing. I’m gonna jump in with one thing I love that she said, which is the journey is not a waste and this one. (Brad: Yeah) I gotta be honest, I I’m a recovering perfectionist and overachiever. Notice it is inactive recovering. Because I freaking hate when things don’t go the way I plan. And I want 100% start off with like, what a waste of time. That was such a waste of time or like we make a wrong turn like, “Oh my God, that was like 20 minutes.” That is …
Brad Crowell 20:51
I know. I get frustrated too. When I when I mess up the directions.
Lesley Logan 20:54
It just happened the other day. (Brad: Yeah) We were getting tile, you had to go to another appointment. (Brad: Yeah) And you missed the exit. And you’re like, you’re like so mad at yourself. And you made it to your appointment on time anyway.
Brad Crowell 20:54
I did. I made it.
Lesley Logan 20:54
Because Vegas has no traffic. Anyway, the point is, I’m still I believe this, I 100% like cosign subscribe, like the journey is not a waste, I will tattoo it somewhere on my body. And yet, I catch myself thinking it’s a waste. And so I really love that she mentioned this because I needed the reminder, that means you all need the reminder. And …
Brad Crowell 21:27
Well, so okay, so she’s sober. (Lesley: Yeah) And she didn’t get sober until I believe her early like end of her late 30s, late 30s, early 40s. I’m not sure exactly. But it I would imagine, it would be very easy to go. Wow 20 years of hard drinking, I feel like was a waste.
Lesley Logan 21:46
Well, we’ll just say drinking. I don’t want to put a thing attached though I don’t know …
Brad Crowell 21:50
Oh, she very clearly said hard drinking (Lesley: Okay) in the interview. (Lesley: If she said, okay, that’s fine. And …) Straight up. She transitioned from binge drinking in college to (Lesley: Well, she didn’t have like a bubble.) she said she had three phases. (Lesley: Yeah. Okay.) She said binge drinking in college to to the New York West Side martinis to the wine Mama. (Lesley: Oh, and she …) And she said when, when she said the reason that the big, the big awareness was when her daughter was like, “Mom, you’re having a bad day? Do you want mommy juice?” And (Lesley: yeah) she was like, “Oh, my God.”
Lesley Logan 22:25
Well, we we we have a member whose kids also pour… poured mommy juice for her. And she’s like, “Is this a bad thing?” (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Right. So … ) It was a pandemic. We’ll give her a break.
Brad Crowell 22:36
… anyway, definitely, she definitely put that out there. But anyway, I think that it would be easy to look back on that and say, “What a waste?”
Lesley Logan 22:46
Yeah. And you know, here’s the deal. If you took it, (Brad: That I would disagree.) Yeah. And she would too. (Brad: Yes) So, whether you like if you think you took the wrong job, or you did the wrong person or you chuck the wrong route to work one day or, you know, you did something you’re like, “That was so stupid.” None of that is a waste. All of it, is a lessons and learning experiences. And I you know, I I think we need to be kinder to ourselves, and we need to almost be more of a observer in those times where things don’t go the way we planned (Brad: Yeah) or we made a decision. We look back on and go, “Woah, that was dumb.” You know, I mean, I was just had a …
Brad Crowell 23:25
It’s really hard. It’s really hard to be kind to yourself.
Lesley Logan 23:28
Well, I was just on a lunch date with someone. And we were talking about exes. And like, I didn’t say this because I have, I am so grateful. I but like she had mentioned like, “You know, I wasted all this time with these people.” And I and I said, “You know, my husband and I probably would not have married each other if we had not had the relationship before.” Because I wasn’t (Brad: I think that’s very …) like a musican. Are you kidding? (Brad: Yeah) Because I dated all these perfect on paper people I was like, well guess what? Let’s try something new. So I like the journey is not a waste, everything is setting you up for the next step. And I was just, (Brad: Yeah) “Who was I talking to about …?”
Brad Crowell 23:29
… the successes and the failures
Lesley Logan 23:36
Yeah, but I was talking to somebody about video games maybe the podcast, anyways. Basically like Mario Brothers, Donkey Kong that’s a video games I played. So so sorry go back to your elder millennial days (Brad: and duck hunter.) Yeah, I did not get Duck Hunter, (Brad: Oh) because you needed it like an extra thing. (Brad: Yeah) I was poor. So um, the fact that we had Donkey Kong and Mario Brothers when my grandfather got tired of it. Anyways, so you like you do a level and you learn a bad guy and you beat that bad guy and then the next level you have that bad guy but you know but then there’s a new bad guy and then you learn that and then the (Brad: Sure) next level and then you get to the palace to save the fucking princess. And I frickin hate it with no save a fucking princess. Like it could be a frickin prince by the way. Anyways, we’re saving someone and all the bad guys you’ve ever had to be are all there, right?
Brad Crowell 25:00
Also her name was Princess Toadstool. (Brad laughs) That’s such a weird name.
Lesley Logan 25:05
Somebody didn’t like women. Anyways, the truth is, is that you could not be at that level if you hadn’t done the other levels. (Brad: Yeah) So whatever you’re about to go up to whatever obstacles in your way, the only reason you actually have any attempt at achieving, getting past it going through it being on the other side of it is because of the journey you had before it. All the things you had before, all the lessons you learned, whether you choose to learn from those lessons that’s on you. But but they’re all happening for you.
Brad Crowell 25:37
Well, I think it’s funny. Funny is the wrong word. I think that it’s when it becomes circuitous. If you don’t learn from it.
Lesley Logan 25:45
Can you say that word again?
Brad Crowell 25:46
Circuitous. (Lesley: I don’t think I know it.) … meaning it’s a circuit. (Lesley: Oh) (Lesley laughs) It’s a circle as a better way to say. So you won’t, you know, if you don’t learn from the experience you had, you somehow, in some form, you end up repeating that experience. (Lesley: Oh) So I think a great example is people who end up dating the quote, unquote, “same person over and over” or they quote, unquote, “make the same mistakes over and over and over”. It’s because, you know, you haven’t learned from it the first time (Lesley: Yeah) or the second time or third time. (Lesley: Yeah.) And so becomes a pattern.
Lesley Logan 26:21
Yeah. Well, anyways, I guess we could talk about that for an hour. (Brad: It’s a whole another thing.) Thank you, Kellee, for that. What did you love what she said?
Brad Crowell 26:32
So she said, she actually had this whole conversation about discern… discerning, the voice of fear, versus the voice of reason. (Lesley: Yeah) And I thought that was, (Lesley: She’s brilliant.) that was really poignant. Yeah. I mean, like …
Lesley Logan 26:49
We’re gonna get Brad word of the day toilet paper for the pod, like you can poignant, circuitous.
Brad Crowell 26:54
That was a really gracious. No, so so …
Lesley Logan 26:59
Poignant is great. It fits perfectly. Keep it in.
Brad Crowell 27:01
Yeah, she, she. I thought this was really cool because everybody second guesses themselves, you know. And … it like for her, she was talking about going to get a master’s degree. You know, she’s in her, I think mid 30s at that point. And she’s like, “Really now? Why, you know, is this the right thing to do?” Her husband was excited about it. She already had kids at this point. But, you know, and then she started to second guess herself. And she’s like, “Wow. Really, do I need this? Why do I,” you know, and started this, like, you know, rabbit trail of why. And, ultimately, that allowed her to come through the fear and decide this is the voice of reason, not the voice of, you know, (Lesley: fear) fear. Because, like, is she afraid that no one’s going to take her seriously unless she has the degree. Right? (Lesley: Yeah) Or is she going to further her career and life by having this degree?
Lesley Logan 28:07
Yeah, I think that I think this is like y’all. I don’t know, somehow this is becoming a shirt. Like, people like, “Oh, my gut says this.” Is it your gut, though? Is it like is it your gut? Or are you, is it a fear voice in there? And I think, I think a lot of times obstacles, fear voices, they’re going to come up on purpose, how bad are you going to fight for them? Are you going to reason with yourself? Are going to take time to get to know that, that the difference of it and and so I, I would love to hear if you have and I, if you have a clear understanding of the voice of fear versus voice of reason. And also, by the way, I’m reading this book Chatter, but you should name them you should have a name for the voice of reason. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) And you should have a name for the voice of fear and you should have a name for that bitch in your head who’s like telling you to, “You’re not good enough.” They should all like, they should all be named. And and you can go you know what, “Tina, (Sorry for the Tina’s listening. I love you. This is I’m just picking out Tina, it came to my head.) I hear you and I’m not afraid of that.” (Brad: Yeah) But thank you for that. You can take that and also …
Brad Crowell 29:13
We’re gonna get there, we’re gonna get there. (Lesley: Okay ..) But I think that, you know, the, the way that she decided this was a voice of reason not fear was to dig into her, ‘why’. Why am I doing this? What you know, like, why go after a master’s degree? Why at this point in my life, you know, why do I want to do this? And when she began to analyze that, when she began to look at her ‘why’, then it allowed her to confidently say, I I should do, I should I should do this. Sorry. Our dog is digging at the carpet because the carpet is clearly not soft enough.
Lesley Logan 29:58
Well, but also she has with the current state of our house is because she dug it two carpets. (Brad: It’s true.) And she won. (Brad: Yeah) So I just sent her a very soft hair tie.
Brad Crowell 30:10
So but but she so Kellee was talking about her why, and her why allowed her to confidently make the decision. And that is something that each and every one of us can take away and really start to shake that like imposter syndrome. (Lesley: Yeah) You know that that fear based decision making. Why are you doing what you’re doing, will help you confidently make the decision.
Lesley Logan 30:39
I Kellee, I’m obsessed with you and Rachel Piper, our OPC teacher, girl. Thank you. Thank you for introduction. (Brad: Good choice. Good referral.) Okay, so let’s talk about the BE IT action item that she had, because I have referenced it a couple of times (Brad: You have) I’m so excited about it.
Brad Crowell 30:56
Yeah. All right. All right. So what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Kellee Forkenbrock?
Lesley Logan 31:04
Learn to say thank you. Learn to say thank you. Thank you, Tina. Thank you, I don’t know the voice of reason. It just …
Brad Crowell 31:15
The voice of fear, the voice of reason, the …
Lesley Logan 31:18
Yeah. Name them all for yourself. Name yourself, thank yourself. Then she said thank you for the for for releasing from me from that ex. Thank you for this argument I get to have with another.
Brad Crowell 31:28
Well, everything about this goes back to the the the first action item that you pulled out, which is the journey is not a waste.
Lesley Logan 31:35
Thank you for that opportunity to learn about myself.
Brad Crowell 31:39
Right. Thank you for you know, bringing me to a place where I realized that this is no longer serving me whatever this might be. Kellee’s case, she was talking about alcohol, you know, and this is not serving me anymore. And I’ve become aware of it. Thank you for that experience. I mean you move on. (Lesley: Yeah) Could be changing a job. It could be firing a client. It could be, I don’t know (Lesley: Yeah, I think …) whatever, opening a new bank account.
Lesley Logan 32:05
I mean, like, and also when she said learn to say thank you. She didn’t say and then qualify it. So my ladies listening when someone says you look amazing. Don’t say this old thing from Ross. I don’t care if it’s this old thing from Ross, say thank you. (Brad: Right, this old thing from Ross, awww) Or it was on sale. Like …
Brad Crowell 32:26
No, you don’t have to, that’s just deflection that’s not actually receiving.
Lesley Logan 32:29
You’re literally not receiving it. So thank thank thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. First of all, thank you for listening.
Brad Crowell 32:38
Yeah, thank you for listening.
Lesley Logan 32:40
Thank you, Kellee, for becoming like part of our world. I or letting us into your world or I don’t know, I’m just freaking excited to know you. I’m gonna go get a library card. By the time, (Brad: Yeah) you listen to this, I have a library card because I actually have 17 books. I want to listen to 17 like exact, because I just listened to an interview with a woman. She said ‘yes’ to the podcast, by the way. (Brad: Oh yeah) So I’m super excited about it. And it’s three books about venture capitalism. And you’re like, “What Lesley, I don’t want to know anything about that.” Let me just tell you, my ladies listening because I know what our listeners are hello to the men, but 98% of you are girls. Women identify as women. Here’s a deal. We need to know how to create wealth. (Brad: Yeah) Because I’m sorry, I’m not waiting 202 years to achieve the same wealth as men. You shouldn’t be excited about that. So I’m getting a library card because.
Brad Crowell 33:28
They don’t know what you’re referring to. But yes.
Lesley Logan 33:30
She’s coming on, you’ll know when (Brad: Yeah) you’ll know. You’ll know when it comes on. (Brad: Yeah) Thank you for listening. Thank you. (Brad: Thank you.) I’m getting a library card because this woman rapid, like rattled off like three books that I have to listen to. And then I met with this coffee girl, and she ran off three new books I need to read. And so I just need a library card because I refused to buy extra credits on Audible. So I’m just gonna (Brad: Yeah, I know.) go with that. And you too. (Brad: I went too.) You too, should get a library card. (Brad: You too.) Let’s all support our local librarians. Okay, Kellee, thank you. (Brad: Thank you.) Brad, thanks for being here.
Brad Crowell 34:01
Oh, thanks, Lesley. Same to you.
Lesley Logan 34:04
Thank you for saying my name correctly. I’m Lesley Logan.
Brad Crowell 34:07
And I’m Brad Crowell.
Lesley Logan 34:09
Thank you for joining us today. It’s just because people always say it wrong. (Brad: I know.) And they and you know what if you’ve done that it’s okay.
Brad Crowell 34:16
We still love you.
Lesley Logan 34:17
I’ll still say thank you.
Brad Crowell 34:18
Thank you for saying her name wrong. (Lesley: Yeah.)
Lesley Logan 34:22
Thank you for being here. How are you going to use these BE IT actions action items in your life? I want to know, tag the @be_it_pod. Brad wants to know, he’s @cactus_daddie by the way. There’s a i e at the end. So, I spell it right. And Kellee. By the way, Kellee is with two e’s. So
Brad Crowell 34:38
K e l l e e (Lesley: Yeah. But she is …) Forkenbrock. You can’t mess that out.
Lesley Logan 34:42
Yeah. Her instagram handle if I work, recall is @writegirlproblems. Right? As in …
Brad Crowell 34:48
It’ll be in the show notes because I don’t actually remember.
Lesley Logan 34:51
It’ll be in the show notes. Don’t worry about it. I remember because I really like it. So tag us both. And if you’re feeling fancy tag @cactus_daddie. So we …
Brad Crowell 35:00
And 99 cents, go find some of her books.
Lesley Logan 35:02
I know. (Brad: Yeah) Oh my gosh. Go get some steamy romance in your life. (Brad: Eliza David) Eliza David. (Brad: Oh yeah.) Anyways, freaking obsessed. Kellee, thank you so much. How are you going use these BE IT action items in your life? We want to know. Tag us and until next time, Be It Till You See It.
Brad Crowell 35:19
Bye for now.
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.
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