Self-Love, Boundaries
and Breaking Free
from Perfectionism

Ep. 407 with Lesley & Brad

“The more you love and accept yourself, the better all things are.”

Lesley Logan

Bio

Click to read more about:       Lesley Logan       Brad Crowell

Shownotes

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell recap the conversation with Matt Gerlach, an entrepreneur and breakthrough consultant focused on men’s mental health and well-being. This recap explores the impact of unhealed trauma on loved ones and the critical role parents play in modeling self-care and teaching children the importance of boundaries.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why microchipping is essential for pet safety.
• Expansions to OPC fitness decks and where to purchase.
• How to embrace imperfection and self-acceptance.
• Impact of unhealed trauma on family members and future generations.
• The essential role of parents in teaching boundaries to their children.
• How to break the cycle of generational trauma and foster healing.
• How to take control of your life with goal-setting strategies.

Episode References/Links:

• Barrels Deck Flashcards – opc.me/flashcardwaitlist
• OPC Summer Tour – http://opc.me/tour
• Cambodia February 2025 Retreat – https://crowsnestretreats.com
• OPC $40 for 40 Days – https://opc.me/40
• eLevate Mentorship Program – https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/
• Pilates Studio Growth Accelerator Program – https://prfit.biz/accelerator
• 6-Step Guide to Creating Your Dream Life with Matt Gerlach – https://mattgerlach.com/dream-life/
• Matt Gerlach’s Podcast – https://podfollow.com/mattersofthemind
• Lauren Zoeller Episode 388 – https://beitpod.com/ep388

Transcript

Lesley Logan 0:00
To think that you are less than and then you just have to be better. And once you’re better, then things are better. Actually, the more you love and accept yourself, the better all things are.

—-

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

—-

Lesley Logan
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the growth-oriented convo I had with Matt Gerlach in our last episode. If you haven’t yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back to listen to that one. And then come back and join us.

Brad Crowell 1:11
Yeah.

Lesley Logan 1:11
What a sweet guy. I like him a lot.

Brad Crowell 1:13
It was a super thoughtful interview.

Lesley Logan 1:14
Yeah, he’s super vulnerable and authentic.

Brad Crowell 1:18
That’s how he described himself is he said he wasn’t always vulnerable. And I mean, it definitely if that’s something he intentionally worked on, it comes through in that interview. It was great.

Lesley Logan 1:30
Some coaches in that space could be like a look at me. Look what I’ve done, you know, like just do it my way. And he’s definitely like, I’m on this journey and here’s what’s helped me. And it’s more of a guide. And I really appreciate that about him. So today is August 15th, 2024 and it’s Check the Chip Day.

Brad Crowell 1:47
That’s right.

Lesley Logan 1:48
About this day, Check the Chip Day is celebrated annually on August 15th. It’s that time of the year when we raise awareness regarding the importance of microchipping.

Brad Crowell 1:56
Microchipping.

Lesley Logan 1:57
Which greatly helps in reuniting missing pets with their owners. In fact, every second a pet family pet is lost with only one in 10 ever being found. Every second a family pet is lost and only one in 10 are ever found. There’s a fucking lot of seconds in a day. So on one tenth. Oh my god. This is very depressing.

Brad Crowell 2:17
That’s why we’re raising awareness. Check the Chip Day.

Lesley Logan 2:20
Approximately 10 million pets are lost annually.

Brad Crowell 2:23
Ten million.

Lesley Logan 2:24
Microchipping provides peace of mind to pet owners as it confirms the safety of their beloved pets. Gone are the days when pets were kept in cages now, they can be free and out of harm’s way. Okay.

Brad Crowell 2:34
Yeah. Okay. So FYI, they, I, I tried to figure out the best way to check your chip. Okay. Cause if it’s Check Your Chip Day, how do we do it? Ultimately you need to have a special RFID reader and your cell phone can’t do the job. So there are a couple of apps that connect to a reader, but you got to buy the damn reader first. So I really went down the rabbit hole on here. Basically, take your, take your dog to the vet, get the chip read, right? Get that number. And then here’s the, here’s the problem. You might have a chip, but the chip still has to be registered with a system.

Lesley Logan 3:12
And also a lot of people don’t update their contact information.

Brad Crowell 3:16
They almost never do.

Lesley Logan 3:16
So they move things like that. I follow one of the rescue, dog rescues out here and after the 4th of July, they got in 400 pets in a day, 400 pets turned in, most of them had chips. And so, first of all, if you do find a pet, go to a vet, just drive to a vet and have it checked, do not go to a pound and things like that, because some of those are kill shelters, and if they, even if they have a microchip, they have a limited space, so take them to a vet, and then that way they can scan the thing, and then they can hopefully contact someone, but everybody, you need to update. Brad, are ours updated?

Brad Crowell 3:55
Yeah.

Lesley Logan 3:56
Okay.

Brad Crowell 3:57
Yeah, there’s a couple of different databases. You can just search for pet, you know, pet chip databases or microchip databases. Cause it depends on the chip. Sometimes the chip depends on the database. Like for example, we have two of our dogs are in one database and then one is in a different database. But they need to be in a database.

Lesley Logan 4:15
Oh, cause we had two dogs in California and one in Nevada.

Brad Crowell 4:17
That’s right.

Lesley Logan 4:18
So also another way you can do this, you guys, we have them chipped and we have them, what do we call these things?

Brad Crowell 4:24
Air tagged.

Lesley Logan 4:24
Air tagged.

Brad Crowell 4:25
Yeah. We also put air tags on ours.

Lesley Logan 4:26
And we have air tags and they have these cute little things that go on their collars and the air tags are great because whenever we get out of the van on tour, it goes, you’ve left three items behind. So it’s always August. It’s like, you’ve left. It’s like, he’s right here. Like, don’t panic me about the one that runs off.

Lesley Logan 4:44
You’ve left your item, Gaia, behind.

Yeah. So anyways, do both, double dose it.

Brad Crowell 4:50
Yeah. Double dose it. So next time you go to the vet or even just go to that now.

Lesley Logan 4:56
I would not wait. If you have no idea, if you’re sitting here listening to us going, I wonder if mine is like, don’t, you’ll be so pissed if in three days, your dog gets out and then you’re like, they told me, it’s like, yeah, we did.

Brad Crowell 5:09
Handle it. All right. Here’s what’s coming up in events and travel. A summer tour. We are on the road right now. As we speak we are probably leaving St. Louis and driving to Kansas city. By the time you’re listening to this we have. Today’s the 15th, tomorrow the 16th. We’re in Kansas city on the 18th. We’re in Colorado Springs, Colorado. If you are in either of those places and you want to come hang out go to opc.me/tour, opc.me/tour. That’s it for the summer tour at this point, and then we’re going to be doing a winter tour leaving in December but we’re still working on all the specifics for that. So right now, the last two stops are going to be Kansas City and Colorado Springs. After that, we are still taking applications for elevate. That’s Lesley’s mentorship program. It’s a Pilates mentorship program. It is nine months long. It is an amazing opportunity where Lesley gets to pass on all the information she learned from her teacher, Jay Grimes, who literally studied with Joseph Pilate. He taught all the stuff he knows.

Lesley Logan 6:10
Pilate? Just Joseph Pilate?

Brad Crowell 6:11
Just Joseph Pilate. Just Joseph, one Pilate.

Lesley Logan 6:14
He’s one Pilate.

Brad Crowell 6:15
Yeah, he only has one. Joseph Pilates and he, Jay, passed on all the information that he knows to Lesley. She’s literally been working with him for 12 years. Something like that. 10 years, at least 10, more than 10.

Lesley Logan 6:27
Yeah, yeah.

Brad Crowell 6:28
Yeah. 12 years. You’re super young, babe. I love you so much. And she gets to pass on all this information. Go to lesleylogan.co/elevate. You’ll be able to say that you’re classically trained. You’re going to be a third generation teacher. You’re going to be able to connect all the dots for all the different pieces of equipment. It’s going to help you with class planning. You’re not going to talk as much when you teach. It’s going to be great.

Lesley Logan 6:46
I think the official would be 10 years, guys.

Brad Crowell 6:48
Ten.

Lesley Logan 6:49
Official. Yeah. Yeah.

Brad Crowell 6:50
She’s still doing the math all right. It’s all right.

Lesley Logan 6:52
I just want to, I don’t want to lie, you know.

Brad Crowell 6:54
We don’t want you to lie. Okay. So, then, we are going to Cambodia in February 2025 crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com. Y’all know it’s my favorite thing to do of all the things that we do. It is an amazing experience. It is incredible trip. We’re going to go romp through the jungle. We’re going to eat great food, local food. We’re going to do some Pilates. We’re going to meet up amazing people. It’s a journey and it’s an incredible journey and we want you to join it with us. Come stay at our house, crowsnestretreats.com. All right. You want to take the next two?

Lesley Logan 7:26
Yeah, because I want you to be an OPC member. You guys, it is one of the best places to do your Pilates because guess what? You can do Pilate, you can do your Pilates anywhere you can lay down and OPC is, I know you’re like, I won’t do it online. I have to go to a place. You can still go to a place and you can be an OPC member because here’s the deal. You need to do more Pilates than you think. Once a week isn’t going to cut it. Our classes are 30 minutes long, but finishing is optional. And we have monthly classes that are 50 minutes long. We hold you accountable because classes do disappear, but as of last month, you actually have the weekly classes access for two weeks for each class. So each week we drop a new class. But you have access to this week’s class and last week’s class. Don’t you like how creative those names are? This week’s class and last week’s class. Yeah. And one of our teachers today was like, if you’re like, Oh my god, I’m overwhelmed. Which one do I do? She closed her eyes and she hits click. So there you go. Thanks, Christine, for that. So opc.me/40 gets you 40 days of OPC for $40. You can quit if you don’t like it, but hey, you might love it.

Brad Crowell 8:28
You might just love it.

Lesley Logan 8:29
And by the way, it can be part of that 2 percent of every day you dedicate to you. And then if you are a Pilates instructor and you are feeling like your business is just not making the money that you want, then I want you to join Brad for our free webinar. It ‘s called Accelerator and it’s really amazing because by the way, there is money in Pilates and you can make it and you are capable of doing it. And no, you don’t have to do crazy memberships or do wild things on social media.

Brad Crowell 8:56
Grow a million followers.

Lesley Logan 8:58
There’s a path for every single person to make the money they want to make, especially when you have, when you’re armed with the knowledge on how to do it. So go to prfit.biz/accelerator prfit.biz/accelerator.

Brad Crowell 9:09
That’s profit without the O prfit.biz/accelerator.

Lesley Logan 9:14
All right. We’re going to get into this episode with Matt, but before we do, we have an audience question.

Brad Crowell 9:18
We sure do. Esta Zero on YouTube says, Hey you’ve been talking about these flashcards. Where do I find them?

Lesley Logan 9:27
Yeah, I was like, oh, this is an easy question. You guys, you just go to onlinepilatesclasses.com and if you go to the shop, it’ll say flashcards.

Brad Crowell 9:36
Yeah, or you go to opc.me/flashcards. That’ll also do it. So directly to the spot.

Lesley Logan 9:40
And right now, this episode is coming out. You’ll have access to four decks of the five we’ve worked on so far. The fifth one is the Barrels deck and that one is, I think you can buy it, you just have to wait. That one will be out probably

Brad Crowell 9:56
Barrels will be shipping in

Lesley Logan 9:57
September, October?

Brad Crowell 9:58
Eight to ten weeks from, yeah, next week.

Lesley Logan 10:01
Yeah. So, yeah. So we’re probably looking at like

Brad Crowell 10:03
we’re probably looking at like timber. We’re looking like

Lesley Logan 10:05
October.

Brad Crowell 10:05
Yeah, beginning of October.

Lesley Logan 10:07
But also here’s fun news. The mat deck got a makeover.

Brad Crowell 10:12
It sure did. Got a facelift.

Lesley Logan 10:14
Yeah. Facelift. It got fillers. We got more exercises in there.

Brad Crowell 10:21
That’s great.

Lesley Logan 10:22
It’s actually youthful. Cause it got, it went from its vintage vibe to other rebrand that is so

Brad Crowell 10:28
It’s hip, young and cool now.

Lesley Logan 10:29
Hip, young and cool. And it has standing exercises in there. We have more prep exercises in there. It’s just really, really fun. So if you haven’t got the mat deck yet, you should get this new one, which is probably shipping like as we speak, because it was eight weeks ago, four weeks ago, so it’s probably in three to four weeks still, but. Yeah. It’s happening.

Brad Crowell 10:51
Yeah. We’re talking end of August.

Lesley Logan 10:53
It’s a little beefier, but still that same great feel that will fit in your gym bag. We’ll go on a trip with you. All the good things. So you can get those. Also. Oh my god. I left the cat out of the bag right now. We are reprinting the Reformer Deck and I added the related mat exercises to the Reformer Deck.

Brad Crowell 11:11
What?

Lesley Logan 11:12
I know.

Brad Crowell 11:12
So we’ve also given a facelift to the Reformer card.

Lesley Logan 11:16
It’s a tiny one. Micro lift, a mini lift. It was a mini lift.

Brad Crowell 11:20
It’s a lash extension.

Lesley Logan 11:21
Yeah. That’s really what it is. You’re correct. You are so correct. And then because because my team, it just wants to finish this, the flashcard project. I’m already working on deck number six.

Brad Crowell 11:35
It’s only been five years. Only.

Lesley Logan 11:38
Four. Four. We came up with the idea in 2019, but I didn’t write the mat deck until February of 2020 and then the pandemic happened. But in the later part of the pandemic of 2020, we released the Mat Deck. So currently it has been four official years.

Brad Crowell 11:52
Okay. That’s fair. That’s fair. Four years. Five decks.

Lesley Logan 11:54
But the sixth deck will be the fifth year. And then, oh my god, Meredith’s like, maybe you do an expansion deck. And I was like, shh. You shut your mouth, you zip it.

Brad Crowell 12:03
You just wait up. Hold up.

Lesley Logan 12:06
You zip it. Cause I have some ideas of what I want to do with these cards. Like when you, I, I want it, I want, I wouldn’t do like a text message that like sends you cards that like, it’s almost like a tarot reading, but like the cards are laid out to like create an exercise.

Brad Crowell 12:19
That could be fun.

Lesley Logan 12:19
Isn’t it fun like today’s that you’re reading today is this? We make it all like Shamany.

Brad Crowell 12:26
All right. We’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out.

Lesley Logan 12:28
Anyway, stop.

Brad Crowell 12:29
If you, if y’all have any ideas on how you would want us to work with you on these cards.

Lesley Logan 12:34
No, we’re not making a digital deck.

Brad Crowell 12:37
No, we’re not doing a digital deck.

Lesley Logan 12:38
So you can ask and it’s.

Brad Crowell 12:39
Although I, I have been tempted to do a, a full app that, that, that’s interesting. That could be interesting.

Lesley Logan 12:47
No, we have an app and they can watch the videos in there. No.

They can’t watch the videos.

No. No, no, the cards are the way they are, but I may help people put building blocks together is the thing that I would be interested in doing. And since I’m the one doing it, this is what I want to do. So let me know if you like that idea and if your idea sucks. Keep it to yourself.

Brad Crowell 13:10
Stick around, we’ll be right back. Okay, now let’s talk about Mr. Matt Gerlach. Matt is an entrepreneur, an author, and an owner of a breakthrough consulting business netting over a million dollars in annual revenue. He focuses on men’s mental health and well being. Matt draws from his own experiences to guide clients through their struggles. His work emphasizes the importance of self-worth, setting boundaries, goal setting, and breaking the cycles of trauma. And generationally, too. You know, I thought it was really cool that he said, I’m the first one in my family to break this cycle, right? Super aware of that. And that’s pretty cool. I think that’s awesome.

Lesley Logan 13:53
I know. It’s really, it’s really amazing. When he first, when we first met him and he spoke, I was like, wow, beautiful. He like, like his soul is beautiful. You know, like, it’s just really, really amazing. So he said, there’s never a destination when we’re perfect. Like, like, there’s just not like, like perfect doesn’t get, you don’t get to stop, you know? And so what he said is his biggest thing is that he, that he’s ever done is he.

Brad Crowell 14:17
I think he said, I think he said this.

Lesley Logan 14:20
Yeah. Yeah. And if you’re not watching YouTube, then you don’t know what just happened. So that was not for the folks at home, babe. But we have a hat is really what it all is. That was a little of a merch, you know, thing. It’s, ‘Perfect is boring,’ it’s what the hat said. So he said the biggest thing he’s done is to learn to love and accept himself in learning and loving this, to accept himself was to recognize that there’s nothing wrong with him. And I really love that. You guys, there’s nothing wrong with you. Like, you are enough. We have, oh, another merch.

Brad Crowell 14:52
Another merch.

Lesley Logan 14:54
We are, but who knew? I didn’t know this today, but we have a sweatshirt that says, you are enough. You’ve done enough today. When you look at it in the mirror and then on the back, it tells the person behind you, you’ve done enough today. But at any rate there’s nothing wrong. And I think that’s really a hard thing because yes, of course self-growth and self-development is an amazing thing. There’s always something you can learn about yourself. But to think that you are less than, and then you just have to be better, and once you’re better, then things are better. Actually, the more you love and accept yourself, the better all things are. You know? You bring a whole different vibe to every group you’re in, a whole different, you have less insecurity in conversations and so deeper conversations can happen. It’s just really amazing. And so he also did talk about boundaries, you know, I’m a big fan of boundaries. And he said that it was because he really focused on boundaries and advocating for himself. He was able to take his business into a million dollar paycheck for himself. And that’s also cool because most people think I gotta say yes to everyone. I gotta people-please. I gotta work all the time. No, I can’t have boundaries because then people won’t like me and then I won’t make any money. And that’s not true because he fucking made it work. Million dollar a year paycheck. I, yeah, I love that.

Brad Crowell 16:02
Yeah. I mean, that’s, actually, his story was that when he first started his business, he didn’t have any boundaries. And his clients were like, flying him all over the place and he was doing all this stuff and he was getting really, he was building a lot of resentment when asked to handle things that he probably, my guess is, had advised against, they did it anyway, and he’s like, what the fuck, now I have to clean up your mess and it was building a lot of resentment, and that’s because he didn’t have boundaries at the time. And then over time started to shift all that and change it. So, I mean, what an awesome thing to be able to help guide people through setting those boundaries you know, for his clients with his clients, really cool. One thing I loved, he said is that his mission, his, he talked about his mission, helping unhealed trauma. And he mentioned that trauma, when left unhealed, you think it’s not affecting anyone or you think it’s not affecting you, but it is, it’s actually being passed to your loved ones. It’s being passed to the people in your immediate circle. Whether you realize it or not, we are, we are passing it along and whether we’re intentionally doing it or not, we are passing it along. So that was actually kind of shocking to me. I was like, never thought about that. He highlighted the time we’re in right now where the word generational trauma is becoming a lot more prevalent. We’re, we’re becoming a lot more aware of it. And that’s why I found this impactful is because my parents don’t seem like they’re traumatized people, but I definitely learned things from them that I had to choose to part ways with later on in my life. And it’s taken me a long time to understand how I was thinking, why I was thinking it that way, and then make the decision to no longer think that way. Not to tell too long of a story here, but generally a lot to do with money and the way that I think about money. Was definitely, I adopted it from my, my parents. The irony is I never actually learned how to handle money. What I got from them was the emotional element of money. And it was negative. There’s never enough money, right? Save every penny you got because you’re never going to have enough money. And so I never learned. I learned how to save, you know, but I didn’t actually do it. But I learned about that. But I didn’t learn how money growth worked. And so it created this weird fear around it. And I don’t think my parents meant to do that. That wasn’t something that they, but it was, it was clearly something that, you know, they adopted, too.

Lesley Logan 18:34
And also just speaking of what parents could do. So many parents don’t make time for themselves because they’re like, oh, I want to do things with my kids. Do you know the best thing you could teach your child is that you, boundaries. Like I, in the morning, I spend time with myself. You get to spend time with yourself and we all are allowed and all deserve time to go inward and think about ourselves. You want to, you want to pass something on, pass on boundaries.

Brad Crowell 19:01
Yeah. I mean, imagine, I mean, this is one of the things that we encourage all of our OPC you know, clients to do is say, hey family, I love you so much. Right now is my time to practice Pilates. I’m only asking for 2 percent of my day and I’m going to do that right now. And when this is happening, I’m doing that.

Lesley Logan 19:21
And also, do you want to know what else you can do? They can join you. They just can’t talk to you.

Brad Crowell 19:25
Right.

Lesley Logan 19:25
So, Emily, our neighbor who we did our pop up at her store, I sent her a workout the standing workout from my YouTube channel and she posted, her friend and her doing the same workout. They’ve never done it before.

Brad Crowell 19:39
Cool.

Lesley Logan 19:39
They’re following along with me. And guess what? One of their daughters just came right up and just started doing right behind them.

Brad Crowell 19:44
That’s so cool.

Lesley Logan 19:45
Didn’t interrupt them. Didn’t say, hey, can I have this? Like just started doing it because.

Brad Crowell 19:49
I love that.

Lesley Logan 19:50
They are an example of like taking care of their selves and like, that’s important. And so kids just catch on to these good things and they’ll catch on to the shit too.

Brad Crowell 19:59
Yeah. I love that. When you don’t address trauma you are passing it on. And he’s, he said he emphasizes the importance of negotiating goals and making achievable plans, focus on goal-setting with his clients, also articulates their goals and overcome limiting belief. And he said, it’s really being able to take control over your life and realize that you have agency in building the life that you want and making changes. You know, we totally agree. That’s exactly why we created our coaching program, our fitness business coaching program, which is called Agency. It is on purpose. You know, so couldn’t agree more. Love that. And there’s so many bunch of different ways you can process trauma.

Lesley Logan 20:39
You can also reach out to Matt and see what options he’s offering and also

Brad Crowell 20:43
Actually he is offering a 30-minute call to work with him.

Lesley Logan 20:47
Yeah.

Brad Crowell 20:48
So, and, and here’s, here’s the thing, you know, it was working mostly with men, but I’m sure he’ll take your call too.

Lesley Logan 20:54
Yeah, I’m sure he will. And also like, if you’re listening to this and you have a man in your life, send them this episode because you don’t have to be the one to tell them what to do. They can figure it out for themselves.

Brad Crowell 21:03
That’s true. But, we’ll tell him, hey, your wife gave you this episode on purpose so that you can book a call with Matt.

Lesley Logan 21:10
We could just tell, we just do that. Well then thank your wife.

Brad Crowell 21:13
Thank you, wife.

Lesley Logan 21:15
Happy life. Happy wife. There you go.

Brad Crowell 21:17
Stick around. All right, so finally, let’s talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Matt Gerlach? He said, just to keep going, you need to stay on the journey and celebrate the small wins along the way. Perfectionism is a very real thing. We’ve talked about perfectionism so much on this pod. I loved in his three steps that he was talking about. Perfectionism was like number one and he said, you got to let it go. And he said, it’s probably the hardest thing. So this is like, even though it’s step one, it’s still challenging to do. And ironically, I found it, I found it really funny that you said, I call myself a recovering perfectionist because I think the idea of. Getting rid of perfectionism is the perfectionist in me . So I’ll call myself the recovering perfectionist. I agree. You know, like I’m also, I’m healed. I’m no longer perfect. Alright. Which is the perfect form of, like it’s.

Lesley Logan 22:18
That’s just perfectionism. Yeah. I’m, by the way guys, I’m reading this book on perfectionism and it’s irritating the fuck outta me . And I had written to the woman saying, I want her on the pod on. And I, if she comes on the pod. I, I have several questions for her because like, she’s basically saying to own your perfectionism, but to let go of the malignant parts and like, keep the like healthy parts. And I’m like, but isn’t that like being a human with like, like, isn’t that just using your strengths? Like there are strengths that you’re, I’m just like, I’m struggling with it. Anyways, I’m a couple of girlfriends are reading it. We’re all texting about it. And I just, I’m like. No, I, I don’t. She’s like, I don’t have to call yourself a recovering perfectionist. And I’m like, yeah, I do. And it’s not like, I’m like, I’m not using it as like, oh, don’t mind me. I’m recovering perfectionist. I’m not using that. No, it’s just like, it’s a reminder. oh, let that shit go. What basically, Matt’s Be It Action Item, we got to let it go. Like that’s, I’ll let it go.

Brad Crowell 23:13
And, and being vulnerable, you know, he said he said, listen, you know, something he’s been working on for a long time. And he still feels like he’s only penetrated 10% of this perfectionism wall that he has built around himself. So, you know, don’t beat yourself up. But it’s something, the more you focus on it the more aware of it you’ll be and the easier it will be to go I’m doing it again, doing it again. So yeah, what about you?

Lesley Logan 23:40
He said, you need to talk to someone about what’s going on. And it’s really true. Like things grow in the dark, like in the darkness, but when you shed light on it, like it can kill all that bad stuff. And shedding light on it is talking to someone and very, most importantly, he said, select wisely. And so here’s the deal, like, absolutely, you can reach out to Matt because if he’s not a person for you, I’m sure he has resources for you. So that’s what I would do if we’ve had other guests on in a similar vein, like, reach out to them. These are people who have resources and they have ideas. We are, we are not people who do like, therapy or somatic work we just know people who do and so, but he, you have to select wisely because I think people go, oh, I tried therapy and it didn’t work for me. There are so many different types of therapy. And there are so

Brad Crowell 24:29
You just had a deep dive with Lauren Zoeller about somatics versus talk versus, you know. Yes.

Lesley Logan 24:36
Yes. And there’s like, people are doing EMDR. They’re doing all this different stuff. So trust your, don’t trust your gut if you’re like, I don’t know, this person’s listening to me. I was my person. Go the next person. And I know that’s hard. I know, especially when you are finally aware that you are trying to deal with your trauma and it’s affecting your life negatively. We want it to like fix it tomorrow. And all of these people might have wait lists or like time, but just know that the fact that you’ve acknowledged you have this help and that you are on the journey to find someone. Do not let the first one or two people who don’t feel like they’re a great match, stop you from doing this. Keep searching, keep looking, it’s, it’s, it, you are worth it. And so use this free call. We have the link.

Brad Crowell 25:19
Yeah, it’ll be in the show notes.

Lesley Logan 25:21
Yeah. So check it out. Go check out Matt Gerlach. Share this with a friend, share this with a dude in your life who we’ve had Michael Unbroken on and like other people, we’ve a lot of men in our lives who like, I think are really cool people like Matt, they’ve done work and they’re on this journey and they’re always uncovering themselves. They’re always learning and growing. And so it can seem like that’s what everyone is doing, but also like they did, they’ve been doing it for years and it took just the acknowledgement and the first step. So it is possible for the people in your life to take that first step. Sometimes as soon as ready, the teacher appears and maybe this episode or other episodes will help ready them. You know, they might hear something in his story that gets them to go, oh, hey, wait, that’s me. That’s not normal? You know, like that, you know, like you said, neither one of our parents were actually very like textbook traumatizing to us.

Brad Crowell 26:13
I’m the problem. It’s me.

Lesley Logan 26:14
Yeah. But like, you know what I mean? Like when we think about like people like, oh, I like lost my parents and like, this person killed this person in front of me.

Brad Crowell 26:23
It’s not like my parents were abusive or anything like that. But still. Yeah. And, and actually he mentioned there’s like, there’s a, there’s a big difference between big T trauma and little T trauma, right? Like if you went to war or there’s some tragic incident that happened in your, in your life and your childhood or whatever versus like, you know, he, his example was, you know, maybe your uncle yelled at you for doing something stupid when you were a kid and you know, and that stuck with you. You know, and it’s been affecting you all this time, subconsciously, that’s like little t trauma kind of stuff.

Lesley Logan 26:54
So, yeah. Yeah. So come on, take them up on that. You guys share this with a friend and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 27:02
Bye for now.

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Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

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Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @be_it_pod.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

Brad Crowell
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

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