When You Realize You’ve Been

Chasing The Wrong Things

Ep. 17 ft. Sandra Chuma

“The power is not in the answer. The power is in the question.”

Sandra Chuma

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Bio

Sandra Chuma is an entrepreneur, speaker, coach, podcast host, and award-winning documentary filmmaker. She believes that our greatest responsibility is to share our stories so we can inspire and create possibility for others.What’s her superpower? Helping you choose faith – in yourself, in the goodness of others, and in your power to make a difference in the world. Sandra’s passion is helping women realize they were meant for more, and to help them stop playing small!Raised in a tiny mud hut in Zimbabwe with no running water or electricity, Sandra has never been one to let circumstances define her. Through hard work, and support from her “village”, she became a management consultant, advising major global companies. She then went on to build two successful companies.But despite all her professional success, she knew she wasn’t walking in her purpose. Sandra made the decision to go back to school in 2015 to get a master’s degree in Journalism, Storytelling & Documentary Filmmaking from Columbia University.Through the power of story, and leveraging her experience as a management consultant, Sandra has made it her mission to help others create the best version of themselves. She is building brands focused on providing inspiration, tools and community.Sandra is also the founder of WORTHY, which is on a mission to provide information, tools and community to help people find the beautiful and extraordinary in themselves.

Show Notes

Today Lesley interviewed Sandra Chuma, who shared her inspirational story of living in a mud floored hut in Zimbabwe to going to college to building an 8-figure company – before realizing she was still totally unhappy. After finding herself crying on the bathroom floor she stepped back and reevaluated, founding Worthy, a company dedicated to showing you how to get clear on what you want, and how to attain it while honoring yourself.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:
• Ubuntu – I am because you are, you are because I am
• Why do we pursue what we pursue?
• Feelings of “not enoughness”
• The story society tells us of “you’ll be enough when you have _____”
• Giving
• Be impeccable with your word
• Keep your promises to yourself
• Enjoying the journey – finding JOY every day

Episode References/Links:
• Sandra’s IG – @sandra.chuma 
• Sandra’s website – sandrachuma.com
• Worthy’s IG – @iamworthy.co
• Worthy’s website – iamworthy.co
• Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg – https://amzn.to/3x3KLcP 
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – https://amzn.to/3rKqiZP 

Transcript

INTRODUCTION:

Lesley Logan
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I am so freakin stoked for you to be here today you have come for an incredible, incredible interview with Sandra Chuma. I’m going to call her one of my best friends on this planet because I believe that we are now. And I know she agrees with me… She is a light, like, like a true light on this planet. And she’s… you never like underestimate the power of connection. And if you really want to work with someone, know someone, be friends with someone, reach out! Like, literally reach out. And I used to be – I’m saying this because I used to be someone who like, never… I never wanted to bother anyone. I don’t want to waste people’s time. Right? And so like, for whatever reason, I, I, I didn’t, I used to not want to… I used to not ask people if they would like, want to present in one of my groups or want to do something because I was, I guess that was a fear of like rejection, but also like, Oh my gosh, like, “Who am I,” right? I’m saying this because maybe you’re someone who’s like, “Wow, I really wish I could talk to somebody like Sandra Chuma,” or, you know, insert your favorite person to follow on Instagram here. And the truth is, is that, believe it or not, while a lot of people get asked to do a lot of things they don’t often get asked by someone who’s so genuine as you. And so, you know, when I saw Sondra on Instagram and I shared some of her posts and I DM’d her and then I saw her speak at a friend’s group. I totally fangirled… like fangirled. And, you know, not like not Beatles fangirled, but like, in my own way. And, and just like, like couldn’t wait to like unmute myself in the zoom going, “I love you Sandra, I love you so much. I think you’re so amazing!” Anyways, I share this because, you know, I don’t, I did not know then what I know now which is that like someone… you can be friends with the people that you look up to. You can. And I, and, and I am, and we are friends – and I’m so happy she’s here. She… her superpower is amazing. It’s in the shownotes – please read it, she’s got the most incredible story that I want you to know. She’s an entrepren…, entrepreneur, speaker, coach, podcast host. She’s an award winning documentar… documentary filmmaker, which we didn’t even get into, so I’m gonna have to have her back on. What I really want you to listen to here is just her journey. And there’s so much space, and, that she holds for herself. And her vision and how she keeps that in… her, her purpose… how she keeps that in front of her as her star for doing everything. It is something that I think we we all say, “Yes, I need to know what my goals are. I need to know what my why is. I need to do this…” but then we kind of like put it in the vision board on Pinterest, and like hide it. And what I want you to see in this interview is like what would happen, because what are the possibilities when you keep it right in front of you? And so I’m gonna keep… I’m gonna stop talking, because I just can’t even do this amazing woman the justice of an intro that she needs. As soon as it goes in you’re gonna hear she is everything and, and more. She’s the founder of Worthy, so please check out her handles there in the show notes below. She also is going to say it at the end and I really need you to stick around to the very, very end because her tips to “Be It”… you’re gonna put that on replay. This is going to be an episode you save, I know it. So take, take a listen right after this message.

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained 1000s of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic, and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice not a perfect, let’s get started.

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EPISODE:

Lesley Logan
Hello, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I am, like I first of all, I should have probably hit record the moment she came on my zoom – Sandra Chuma is here. You all I don’t think this woman knows how much I talked about her. But I talked about her like she’s one of my best friends. I’m manifesting that that happened. I, this is a woman that I actually connected with on Instagram, which I find fascinating. And then I saw her speak and another friend group and I was so fangirling like 100% fangirling. And she came and spoke in my Agency mastermind. And when I was writing down the people I wanted on my podcast, like, she was the top of the list. So I’m so honored to have her here. You are going to, like, she’s a gem and you’re going to get so many takeaways. So just already have a pen and paper out. But Sandra Chuma, welcome to the Be It pod! Thank you for being here. Do you… Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself?

Sandra Chuma
And then there she fumbled and you’re like, right, talk me out like this amazing woman and then she can’t even introduce herself. But literally, when you consider how many interviews I’ve done podcasts, it’s still terr…, like strikes such terror and because, “What do I say? Who am I?”

Lesley Logan
No… I just I totally know what you mean. I just was on – well, we just talked about it… But I was on Lori Harder’s podcast. And she’s like, “Okay, tell us what OPC is.” And I, like, became a robot. Because like… and as soon as I was done talking about what it is I was myself again. But for whatever reason, when we havendra to, like, ‘Here’s who I am!” It’s like, uhhhh.

Sandra Chuma
Like fear, like, “Oh, my gosh, who am I?” But all fun and games. So firstly, thank you for having me. And you know, what we already are – manifestation done – we already are BFFs because I adore you. And before we came on, I was telling you just about how grateful I was having had the opportunity to come and share with your community and how amazing your community is. But of course, the community is amazing because of you. And Brad… we’ll give him a little bit of credit, but… But who am I? Okay, so my name is Sandra Chuma. And I love to share the fact that I am a girl from Zimbabwe. And I say that because it’s something that I’m incredibly proud of. I’m from a third world country. And, you know, like, managed to through, literally the work of a village and support from a village, to end up here. I literally grew up in a mud hut with no running water, no electricity. The fact that I get to sit and have conversations with people like you, literally still blows my mind. But at its simplest, I’m someone who loves to share, I’m someone who loves to inspire possibility. Because as I said, my own life is one where I had possibility modeled to me by other people. And so I want to share that. And so I’ve created different platforms across the years where I love to inspire women in particular, but guys too, to really step into their power to really step into who they fully are.

Lesley Logan
Okay, we have so much to talk about. But I do want to go to, back to when you’re a little girl in Zimbabwe first, because I have not been there. But having, I have a love for Cambodia, which is also a third world country. And so when you, when you get to see people in the farms outside of there and you see how people live and like, that’s how they live. And I see the community that they bring together. Y’all, when we do retreats there, there’s this water village, and I said, “Oh, can we like… Can anyone build a house here on the water?” Because it’s like, you know, like, “Is there real estate? Or like, do you just like, build your house?” And they said, the community, the village has to approve that you get to live here. You can’t just have like a weekend house on the water, you fish and the whole community comes together and being able to see that, as you know, coming from a different world, is so enlightening. And also it makes me strive to have more to build those communities. But for you, you know, you said you had possibility modeled for you hat like… What was that? What were they modeling?

Sandra Chuma
So here’s the thing, and I love the story that you just shared about Cambodia, because it sounds so similar to how I was brought up. So where I was brought up, we have this it’s a life philosophy that’s called Ubuntu. And what that really speaks to is the fact that, “I am because you are, and you are because I am.” And it really speaks to our connectedness. And so even though in my country and growing up, I didn’t see you know, like wealthy people, I didn’t see all of that… What was modeled for me was the possibility of being your best-self, the possibility of stepping into a bigger dream. You know, growing up my maternal grandmother never had an education. Smartest woman I knew, most beautiful and elegant – never had an education. She worked all of her life as a housemaid. And she though, even though she didn’t have an education, she would only say to me, “You know, Sandra, one day, you’re going to go abroad. And one day you’re going to be educated. And one day, you’re going to live in a house like the one that I work in,” because she worked in a beautiful suburb with tree-lined streets and gorgeous houses. And even though she could never dream that for herself, she spoke that possibility into me. And what it taught me were a couple of things… The fact that you can do things based on someone’s imagination and someone’s dream for you. But it also told me the power of story. Because this was a story that growing up was told to me over and over and over again. And as a little girl, like, I didn’t know where this overseas place was, like, I didn’t know what she meant when she was talking about school and, you know, live in a house under tree-lined streets… because I’d never seen that. But her words created a story in my mind of what was possible. And it’s one of the things too that made me want to go back to school – literally, when I was 40 – to go back to… and I went to journalism school, and I studied storytelling. Because, although at that point I hadn’t made the connection necessarily that story is so powerful, I knew I loved story. And it was coming out of journalism school that I realized that what I really wanted to do wasn’t to tell the stories of the news and so on, but really to help people understand that they have the power to create their own story.

Lesley Logan
This is so beautiful. I wa, while you were telling your story about your, your, is your grandmother? (SANDRA: Yeah.) My, my grandmother, also, she, she had a lot of stories to tell us about we could be. And I think a lot of it was something that she wished for herself. And it wasn’t that like, you, like, it wasn’t like, “You should do…” like, told us exactly what to do… But it was that, you know, the whole idea was like, “life might not be the party we hope for but while we’re here, you might as well dance.” It’s, like, something she wrote about and, and she really was like just… she would tell us stories about other people, other things that were possible. And, and it’s true, because I didn’t, you know – I didn’t grow up in a mud hut – but I didn’t grow up with like, you know, fancy houses, or even people in my life who went to college. Like, my mom didn’t go to college until I was, you know, probably in junior high, I think. So just that wasn’t something that I had seen modeled. But because people told me different things it allowed me to dream. So you know, this… what you’re doing now is, is, like, helping people step into their power. I imagine it’s a lot of the stories that we tell ourselves about how we don’t have power. What, what do you, like, what is that thing that is keeping a lot of us from stepping into our power? Is it the story we tell ourselves?

Sandra Chuma
I think it’s a couple of things. I think you’re absolutely right, that it is the story that we tell ourselves. And I think also in fairness to people, it’s the story that society tells us and we live in a very consumerism society, which tells us, you’ll be enough when you have… right? When you have the house, when you have the skinny pair of jeans, when you have, when you have… and, it’s always this moving goalposts of, “You’ll be happy when.” And I think it also really comes from, ultimately I think at its most base, lack of self worth. Feeling that we’re not worthy of having the life that we want, of being who we want to be, of chasing our dreams, because we’ve been told so much by society by, you know, people in our lives, who are well intentioned sometimes, that we’re not worthy, that we’re not deserving to be, to do, to have the life that we want. So I think those, for me fundamentally, based on all the women that I speak to, and all of the places that I’ve, you know, I’ve been, I think it comes down to our feelings of self worth, worthiness, and the stories that we tell ourselves.

Lesley Logan
So I couldn’t agree more how, so how did you come to want to talk about worthiness or even explore this? Because, you know, I feel like, everything happens in our life for a reason. So like, what was the impetus of you searching this out?

Sandra Chuma
It was me feeling not worthy. And so where does that stem from? Like, now I do what I do in terms of coaching and building platforms that are really focused on uplifting inspiring women to, as I said, step into their version of their best selves. But growing up, so I had this possibility spoken into my life by you know, my grandmother, both my maternal and my paternal grandmother’s always spoke like possibility. And my parents too, were really instrumental in saying that even though my circumstances showed otherwise, that I could be more. And then when I left, I guess, the safety of my, my community, my village and I went, I went to the UK to study, that’s where I think I really started to feel this sense of “not enoughness.” So there were a couple of things that happened for me… so, moving to the UK first of all so I was now in a new country, didn’t know anybody. And then there was the the sense of me being “less than” because I came from a third world country. So, for years, for years, I didn’t share that with anybody, that I was from Zimbabwe. You know, I, I am blessed to have gone to a school where, you know, I was schooled in British-English, so my accent could pass and people never, you know, didn’t make the association, because I felt “less than.” Because I was in this world that kind of, in the media, spoke about third world countries being “less than” because the way we’re presented in media, at least in, back then, was begging bowls in hand, always. So that made me feel less than worthy.

Sandra Chuma
And then I started to chase my dreams. And I thought, again, back into the story that society tells us that, “Oh, I’ll be enough when… I’ll be enough when I have my degree. I’ll be enough when I get my first job. I’ll be enough when I make $50,000, $100,000. I’ll be enough when…” And so I was always chasing this, “I’ll be enough when.” And what happened for me is, on paper… I remember a dear friend of mine said to me once she’s like, “Oh my gosh, like, your life is so perfect.” Like, on paper I looked amazing, you know, I had an amazing husband, an amazing family. We had reached a point where my husband and I had built a company. And in the space of really short time we grew that company into seven, and then eventually an eight figure company. So on paper, my life looked amazing. But I was incredibly unhappy. I was incredibly unhappy, because I was always chasing this, “I’m not enoughness. I’m not worthy.” And this feeling of I guess, you know, like, “I’ll be worthy when,” and that really, ultimately, was what prompted me. My, my husband lovingly refers to it as my midlife crisis. I think it was a combination of being unhappy with what I was doing, and then turning 40. And I literally had like, and then I also at that point was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue, because I was working harder and harder and harder, because then I’ll be happy. But also the, the hard work came from a place of wanting to fill the void, not wanting to be with myself, to face myself and see what it was that was making me unhappy. And so that kind of confluence of events led to me kind of crashing. And it was when I had the option… I remember… Now, for context, I am a germaphobe of ninja proportions, like I like, don’t touch… And I found myself on my bathroom floor, crying. And so when you know when I’m on my bathroom floor, like. it’s a crisis.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, yeah, you’re you’ve hit your you’ve hit your moment.

Sandra Chuma
And it really was and it also came from a place of feeling incredible guilt. Because I felt like, okay, I’ve achieved all these things that, Gosh, my grandparents would have, like, I’m beyond their wildest dreams. So why am I not happy? And living this life that you know… I have cousins, who literally still live in mud huts with no running water, no electricity, who would give their right arm to live my life. So how can you not be happy?

Lesley Logan
And that’s, that had to be incredible, like a heavy, very heavy, like to carry that guilt, you know, because it’s… But, there’s a difference between ungrateful and unhappy, I think.

Sandra Chuma
And you know what, I didn’t realize that because to me, it was like, “Well, how can you not be happy? You have all the things that you could ever, more than you could ever have dreamed of.” But it was that, I guess, crisis and that confluence of events. And it also kind of coincided within our company, having challenges in our company, that led to me really having a… “come to somebody” moment. And realized…

Lesley Logan
A “come to Sandra” moment.

Sandra Chuma
So true! I had a “come to Sandra” moment where I realized that I’ve been chasing the wrong things all along. And the thing that made me happiest was helping other people. And it also went back to something my father, gosh, I’m getting all emotional here… My father died. It’ll be two years, next month. And one of the things, growing up, even when we had nothing, what I saw my father and my mother model was giving. They always gave. And my father would say to me all the time he would say, “You know Sandra, to she who much is given, much is required,” and he would say to me, “Your success will never mean anything unless you use it to help others, unless you use it to reach back and bring others with you.” And I felt like, wow, I’m not really doing that. And so that, I mean, obviously, it wasn’t like the heavens open and the angel saying and “ahhh” I had the answer, it took me a while to get there. That’s when I realized that my purpose I had not been in my purpose, I’d not been chasing purpose, and so that, my purpose was really focused on what I do now.

Lesley Logan
Um, I’m glad you figured that purpose out. And also you went to journalism school, but realize that that being a journalist wasn’t necessarily going to help you bring others along. But it did help you tell story. And I, you know, I think, I think those big visions, those big moments, they are, like, they’re so necessary for us to have something that we go towards. Because you can’t wait for that to happen, you actually have to do actions to be there. So it really does keep you going, Well, when I have this, I’ll feel like this. It’s like, no, here’s where we’re going. Here’s the North Star for this. And I was, I was in 2013/14, 2014, one of my clients bought a birth chart reader to, for my birthday. So I had a phone call with some guy who was like reading my birth chart, and I was like, whatever. Like, kind of like, I don’t know, like, I don’t know how to pour into this. But he said to me, he said, I’m looking at your chart, and you’ve gone as far as you can on your own. And I was like, “I’m so sorry, what?” He’s like, “You can’t go any further by yourself, you have to bring people along with you, if you want to go further.” And he’s like, “You’re gonna need to partner up with people, you need to collaborate with people. You’re gonna need a partner.” I was single at the time, he’s like, “You’re gonna need a partner. So what are some opportunities you have right now where you could partner up with someone? How could you say yes to those?” And he had me starting to look for, okay, instead of like, I’ll just do it myself. How can I like do this with others? And I’m so grateful for that moment, because it sounds very similar I can’t be successful until I bring other people along. It’s like this, like, you know, a lot of us think well, I’ll just do it myself, or, you know, like that there’s this like, thing of pride almost. And, and I totally agree with you. It’s like, the success isn’t worth it if there’s not other people to share it with, you know?

Sandra Chuma
Yeah, it’s about what’s the meaning, you know, what is the meaning because I, especially now it’s so, like you see it everywhere, you know, build your seven figure business and be an eight figure this and, and it’s like, that’s great, like, please, I love a good handbag and a good shoe. So please, the more money the better, but it’s like, what is behind it? Are you just chasing? Because when you get there, and that was my experience, when you get there, if there’s no bigger meaning than just getting the thing. It’s really empty experience. And I think also, nowadays, we’re so focused on the end goal, that we forget to enjoy the journey, that, that is not necessarily about getting there, that it’s about the journey to getting done, what you go through and what you learn and who you become in the process of getting to the goal. I 100%, 1,000,000% even, think that we all should have goals. Absolutely! Because then otherwise, you’re just wandering around someone,

Lesley Logan
Well, someone else won’t make sure their goals or your goals. Like, that’s just the way the world works. You do have to have your own, but you do have to enjoy that journey.

Sandra Chuma
You just enjoy the journey. And the goal has to have some meaning more than just, I’m chasing this goal because everybody else is, or I’m chasing this goal because I read somewhere… like, there has to be some bigger meaning for for what your goal is.

Lesley Logan
Oh yeah, because there’s gonna be days where you’re like, this isn’t working, it must not be worth it. Like, I’m hitting an obstacle. And I’m, you know, I believe that like obstacles, just show you how much you really want the thing because you either fight to get over that obstacle, through that obstacle, around it. Or you go, “Oh, this is actually too big of a hill to climb and I don’t want to do it.” So, you do have to have a meaning and a purpose behind each goal. I agree. I feel like, you know, a lot of people probably would go, “Yes, I’m supposed to enjoy this journey.” But the how of enjoying the journey, I think, is where people get stuck. And I have been very conscious the last couple of weeks because we’ve been hitting some total roadblocks. Like everything is just delayed. I mean, like, you know, every time the phone rings I’m like, if it’s disappointing, just like put it in email. I don’t need to… I don’t want to have… you know, I don’t hear how your day was and then you tell me the disappointing thing. Just email it to me no pleasantries. Rip the bandaid off. But I’ve been like really forcing, like, “Okay, this is the end of my day.” Yes, there’s more work to be done. But I’m going to enjoy this crazy process, I’m going to go sit outside and read a book, I’m going to go for a walk, like I’m trying to… the way I’m enjoying my journey is, like, actually consciously leaving the work to go and enjoy the surroundings around me. I guess it’s the same as my surroundings. So what are some ways that you, like enjoy the journey or, or enjoy the process?

Sandra Chuma
I love what you just said about finding joy in everyday. It’s one of the things you know, we’re in the process of building an app for my platform. And it was one of the things that was so important to me that’s driving our developers crazy, is I wanted this tracker to be included. And one of the things that I wanted included is for you to, every day, say, “What did I do that brought me joy?” One of the things that I found is, there would be days, maybe weeks where I didn’t do anything that was fun, that brought me joy, just because, you know, I think we always feel like, Oh, we save the joy for the special occasions or the special days. And I also think that we sometimes think that – I love what you just said – we sometimes think that the joy has to be this big moment or this big thing. Just sitting out in the sunshine, you know, or biting into a juicy piece of fruit some moment where you’re fully present, and it brings you joy. It’s actually one of the you know, one of the things that I used to do is to keep a gratitude journal. And what I found was after a while, in all honesty, it got to be rote, you know, I was just like, “Okay, I gotta find five things to write down. Okay, just five things. Yes.” And I wasn’t adding… it became almost like a chore. And so I felt like, what can I do to kind of freshen it up? And it really was, “Okay, take away the number. Take away the need to, you know, how many things can I write down. Just even if it’s one thing, what brought me joy? What can I truly be grateful for today?” And now, I’m not gonna be Pollyanna here and say, here every day, there’s joy in my life, because there isn’t, there’s some days where it’s just challenging, right? You’re just up against, like you said, like a lot of things. And so sometimes it’s reframing the question, and looking at, okay, what is this challenge here to teach me? Or how is this challenge here to help me grow? And I think that when you can look for – I know, sounds cliche – look for the silver lining. Because I feel like sometimes we look at challenges and failures as bad things. And yet, really, I feel almost like I – and this is something I’m still working on still a work in progress… It’s almost like directors, right? It’s almost like the flashlight showing you, “No, no, you’re going the wrong way. No, no, this is the way, this other way.” Because if you look back on some of the things, at least in my life, when I look back on some of the moments that were like, “Oh, my gosh, the worst thing that ever happened.” Some, somewhere in that was a blessing. You know, I, I shared with you that my dad passed away two years ago, and I was speaking to a coach of mine when it happened. And he said, you know, what, what can you find? What positive can you find in this? And I literally said…

Lesley Logan
I was like, “Um, I think this we didn’t go tomorrow.

Sandra Chuma
I literally was like, “Excuse you! Like, did you just hear what I said to you?” (LESLEY: Yeah.) He said, “Go through this experience and look for things to be grateful for.” And I’ll tell you because I, first of all, I didn’t want to hear that. But I was like, “Okay, fine.” I went through that experience and I can tell you that I had the most… It was my dad’s passing was sudden, it was very unexpected, completely unexpected. I had the most peaceful experience of his passing because I had this thought in my head of, “What can I be grateful for in this moment?” And, and, even in the hurt and the anger and all the feelings, I was able to find gratitude for a while. I got to be there for his funeral. I got to see cousins I hadn’t seen in years. I got to, I looked for the things. It’s hard. Like that, that was, it was a stretch…

Lesley Logan
That, I can’t think of… there’s very few things that I think could be harder to find joy or gratitude in. But as you talk about it all I’m picturing is like, of course it is one of like, the saddest thing, and there’s so much there and as far as feelings go, but you actually got to probably be a little bit more present, because you were focused on the things that were good in that, from that situation, as opposed to, “This is the, this is the worst thing that could have ever happened.” Like this, you were focusing on the, the other parts. And, and I do, I do think you’re right like every day is not going to be the most joyous day of our lives. But the silver lining to me is not Pollyanna. It’s more like, what do you want to focus on? And, you know, because what, what we focus on is what grows, and what expands, right. And so, you know, if we only focus on, “Well, this didn’t happen today, and this didn’t happen and this person in my life is sick,” then we’re not going to see like, how the world has been very creative and setting up things to make sure that we, we’re getting closer to our purpose. And so I find that your coach is very brave person for saying that.

Sandra Chuma
My initial response was probably not PG-13 rated.

Lesley Logan
Thank you for sharing that story. I, I’m, I’m sure there are many people, you know, who can, as they listen to this, or if they don’t need it, now we’ll need it, you know, we all need that reminder.

Sandra Chuma
And it’s also, I mean, one of the things too, that, you know, in this journey that I’ve been on in terms of figuring out how can I be of service? How can I help others? How can I serve? One of the things that I did do is become a certified habits coach. And one of, what I learned is… all too often we think about habits of doing right, “Oh, I have a bad habit, I bite my nails. Oh, I have a,” you know, whatever. And we also tend to think about bad habits. One of the things we don’t ever actually think about is that our thoughts are habits, right? So if you’re someone who immediately goes to the negative and the, “Well, this is a terrible thing.” That’s a habit of thought. It’s literally a thought pattern of thinking you’ve repeated over and over again. And your brain just defaults to that. And so it really is a reprogramming, reframing your habit of thinking to, “Oh, okay, what can I be grateful for?” And sometimes, maybe you can’t be grateful, you know, sometimes we’re hurt, it’s too much hurt for you to be grateful. And maybe reframe again, “What, what would be a slightly better feeling than what I’m feeling right now?” or, “How can I find some peace in this moment with what’s going on right now?” It doesn’t have to be like, “Yay, skippity scop, let’s, you know, be happy.” Because sometimes that’s, that’s not going to feel real.

Sandra Chuma
I’ll share a story, a real quick story with you if I may. So my habits coach, who started, with through whom I was certified, his name is BJ Fogg. And he’s probably one of the leading behavior design theorists, whatever, people who’ve studied behavior. He’s actually the head of Stanford University’s Behavior Design Institute. And he, you know, I was in his coaching program, and his sister is a director of the program, and she won’t mind me sharing the story because she, she shares it publicly herself. And she talks about bad things happening. Like she had a child who died, she had a chronic illness, she had a husband, who was chronically ill and eventually passed away. They had to declare bankruptcy… like all all of these, (LESLEY: a tsunami. Just…) everything happened. And she said that for her, it was too much of a stretch to wake up and say, “Oh, today’s gonna be a great day.” She’s like, “I couldn’t because it just didn’t feel real.” And what she said is, instead, what she woke up every day and focused on was, “How can I make today a better day for one person? How can I find an opportunity to make somebody else’s day better today?” And so she said, that was the thing that propelled me in the depths of my darkness was, “I’m just gonna look for one person that I can smile at today, or one person that I can say kind word to, one, just one person,” because she said by making someone else feel better, it made her feel better, and it was more… It wasn’t such a stretch to extend ourselves. And I think, especially as women because we’re such nurturers and caregivers, that it is, it isn’t a stretch for us, like, “How can I make it better for one person?”

Lesley Logan
That is so beautiful because it It definitely she’s not in denial of what’s going on in her life. And I think that a lot of people think, “Oh, Sandra and Lesley, like, come on, if I’m always looking for the joy and things like I’m just in denial of like what is really happening around me,” but she’s like, fully aware. It’s not like she’s excited to get up and live another day dealing with illnesses. And the bankruptcy and all that comes with it. So instead she gave herself a, like it gave her a purpose and meaning to her day, and almost like something to go seek out. You know, as in like, and focus on and, and you’re in a… You’re right, it could just be smiling at a stranger, it could be making eye contact, it could be, you know, helping them with their groceries out of their car, like, didn’t have to cost her significant time or money, but it gave her something to focus on that was outside of herself. And I think a lot of us that’s really what it is, like, I think when we are too focused on ourselves, that’s when we get a little bit like, you know, guilty and frustrated. And what a… thank you for sharing that story. I, you are an amazing habits coach. So I’m… your talk on habits is something I reference a lot. And I refer so many of my OPC members to because I say to them all the time, like, “You know, Sandra Touma said, like, you have to…” I just, it just starts off with that. Like Saundra Chuma… I’m just gonna have to have, like, a shirt that says that. If you want to make Pilates a regular part of your week, have like a daily practice 15/20 minutes, you cannot get upset at yourself when you miss your workout. Because the way our brain is designed, you’re not going to go seek out a reason to go do that. So instead, I want you to celebrate that you’ve been thought about doing it, and physically pat yourself on the back, because she says that’s gonna make it work. And so we are, when we do our consistency challenges anytime someone goes, “Oh, I didn’t like… my day happened.” I think my workout I’m like, “We must reframe that. You have to celebrate that you thought about it.” And it they’re, they’re having so much fun. So, do you… How often… Is your app that you’re doing about habits? Or what is it? Or is does it have habit building in it?

Sandra Chuma
So my habit actually is, that I’m trying to help people ingrain, is the habit of… So there, there are six things that I love for people to do. Because in and of itself, the habit is, “How does it support what it is that you want to do?” So how do we make it a habit for you to do the thing, that is your goal. And so for me, it really starts from – one of the most important things is tracking, being able to track your progress. To the point that I said, as well as being able to track a gratitude, be gratitude, but also just your consistency. The fact that you did it the fact that you were in integrity with yourself. You know, one of my my favorite books, I don’t have shares in his business, but I really should for how much I talk about his book is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Lesley Logan
Oh my God, can we all get shares? I mean, that book is like, it’s like almost a solution to all problems, just go read those four agreements.

Sandra Chuma
His four agreements are the best life advice that there is! And one of the agreements is, be impeccable with your word. And to the point that you said like, sometimes it is hard for us to be in integrity with ourselves, right to keep our promises to ourselves. But I think to the point that you said, and what I shared before, is, even if we actually didn’t do the thing, the fact, whatever the thing was, to do the Pilates or to you know, … eat healthy or to go to the gym, or whatever the habit is that we’re trying to establish. The fact that we thought about it, the fact that it was even on our radar that, “Oh, I need to do that.” That needs some acknowledgement, because at least you’re thinking about it at least… You know, I, I recently – because I love getting certified in things, apparently – I recently got certified as a meditation teacher. And things that we talked about was the fact that the the power is not in the answer. But power is in the question. And in this case, when it comes to habit, it, the power might not necessarily be in the fact that, “Oh, I did end up you know, pulling out my mat and doing Pilates for 10 minutes,” it’s the fact that you even had the thought the fact that you’re even considering making it a habit. That’s progress! The fact that you want to be better, the fact that you want to do better. Now the next step is, “Okay, what do I need to do to make it easier for myself to do this thing?” And that literally is habits. So, to answer your question… the, the tracker and the whole platform is really about, what are all the things that really contribute to you stepping into whatever that version of yourself, that your extraordinary self, is, and it really starts with connecting with your why as we talked about, but then also having the habits, creating the habits to support you on your journey towards that why.

Lesley Logan
So, where, what’s the best place for people to, like, share their love for you. Are you… Are you mostly on Instagram? Or where can they find you?

Sandra Chuma
I’m mostly on Instagram. Yes, you’re right. So my handle on Instagram is @Sandra.Chuma, which people might not know how to spell that. So another easy platform to find me, which is actually the platform where I’m creating, Worthy, which is the platform that I’m all about right now and creating and helping women step into their most extraordinary lives… The handle for that on Instagram is @IAmWorthy.co. @IAmWorthy.co is the handle on Instagram. And that’s the website address as well. So you can go there and find out all the things that we have going on, and app, and downloads, and all of this stuff.

Lesley Logan
Okay, we’ll have all that in the show notes. So it’s really easy for people to click and go. Are… do you have a coaching program for people? Like, is that something you’re working on a mastermind of any kind?

Sandra Chuma
A membership. One of the things that I hear so often, and even within our community, was the fact that people wanted accountability. They wanted some sort of support system to keep them going. Because a lot of the times you know, I, put my hand up… I recently did – I’m so ashamed to admit this – I recently did an inventory. I was going through, like, all these courses that I bought, and I was like, “What course have I bought? What’s the login.” And I’m embarrassed to admit that there are courses I bought that I’ve never actually even logged in. (LESLEY: Yeah, I know!) Never logged into! And so that was one of the things is I was like, “How can I support women?” Yes, I can create a course and all that. But I really felt like even when I looked at myself, and when I’ve done the best in terms of achieving my goals and all of the things it was when I was in a community. And so that’s what we’re really creating is a community that’s there for accountability. And that’s there for community, that’s there to cheer you on as you go on your way and giving you all the tools, the tips, the tricks, all of the things that I’ve learned as well as you know, I bring in guest experts as well. So it’s all about a monthly membership that you can sign up for.

Lesley Logan
I love that. You… both my communities have all the accountability. I’m like, “Oh we are taking the class away on Tuesday, so that you show up for yourself.” And, you know, and people love that, like they need it. Otherwise, they sign up for memberships, and they, how many… before before COVID I don’t even know the last time we logged into Netflix, because like, you know, you just, if it’s, not… it’s out of sight out of mind, you know? And so I love that. Okay. So we, I have, I always ask everyone this one question, what are top like one tip or three tips for people to prioritize themselves or so they can Be It Till They See It?

Sandra Chuma
Gosh, so um, first of all, I love the name of this podcast, because it’s so true that sometimes you have to act as… one of the best lessons that I ever… just act act like it. So I actually have, I’m gonna cheat a little bit more than one is more than three. I’ve got six. (LESLEY: Here we go.) And I’ll crank them out real quick. And here’s why six. And I hope this will be an easy way for your listeners to remember this. So I created the platform Worthy, it’s called worthy. And it’s for a couple of reasons. Number one, because I wanted it to be a reminder of the fact that you are worthy to be, to do, to have, whatever it is that you want in your life. And the second reason that I called it Worthy is actually a mnemonic for six pillars that we share in the community that I teach about, which are all geared towards helping you step into your most extraordinary life and also geared towards you taking care of you.

Sandra Chuma
So the W is all about reconnecting with your why. Truly connecting with it. Head, heart hands, because a lot of the time I think we have had goals, but they’re not really hard goals. Ensure that all of that is aligned. So W is all about connecting with your why.

Sandra Chuma
The O is all about owning the day. A lot of people have great intentions. They’re not intentional about how they spend their time, how they go through their day actually consistently working towards their goals. So O is all about own your day.

Sandra Chuma
The R is all about resting, reflecting and rewarding yourself, celebrating yourself. Because as we talked about, we’re not so great at celebrating yourself. And funny enough, actually, as I was mentioning my mentor, BJ Fogg, and the research that they do about behavior. And he said that that is the thing consistently the highest number of people struggle with, celebrating themselves. (LESLEY: Yeah.) Isn’t that sad? So the R isn’t all about reflect, rest and reward.

Sandra Chuma
And then the T is all about tracking, because how do you know where are you going? How are you going, how you’re doing if you’re not tracking it in some way.

Sandra Chuma
The H is habits because you are everything you have. Everything you don’t have in your life is because of your habits, the things that you consistently do.

Sandra Chuma
And then Y is all about you, and you understanding, believing in yourself and having the tools to help you understand why it’s been challenging for you to achieve your goals in the past and how you move beyond that. So that’s what Worthy stands for.

Lesley Logan
Oh, my goodness. Okay. Best. That’s amazing. Like, I mean, I’ve heard I’ve heard this from you before. And hearing them again. It’s like, “Oh, yeah,” and I was like, going, “Oh, good. I’m doing that. Oh, you know, that one I need to that one, I need to add into my day.” Sandra, thank you so much for being here. I don’t I’m gonna have to this again. Y’all please go check her out on Instagram. Check out @IAmWorthy.co on Instagram and her website. If you want more, please let her know. And then also do us a big favor, screenshot this put it on your Instagram, tag us both with your takeaway. Not only is it a great way to let Sandra know how amazing she is, but it also helps other people know why they need to listen to this because maybe they actually need to hear your takeaway as well. So, thank you for being here. I’m beyond grateful. And everyone, until next time, Be It Till You See It.

 

Lesley Logan

That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast!

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Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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