How Introspection Shapes

Effective Leadership

Ep. 263 with Lesley & Brad

“Think of yourself as a unique contribution and not like, ‘I’m the essential worker.”

Lesley Logan

Follow and subscribe for free

Lesley Logan - Author, Mindset Coach, and Fitness Guru Google Play
Lesley Logan - Author, Mindset Coach, and Fitness Guru Apples Podcasts
Lesley Logan - Author, Mindset Coach, and Fitness Guru Spotify account
Bio

Click to read more about:       Lesley Logan       Brad Crowell

 

Show Notes

From Kierkegaard’s quotes to confronting personal truths, this recap episode unpacks enlightening takeaways from Adrian Koehler on the pivotal role of introspection in honing leadership skills. Join Brad and Lesley as they navigate life’s challenges with clarity and purpose, urging leaders to move beyond the status quo and embrace transformative change.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • Strategies for shifting your perspective and avoiding self-imposed constraints.
  • Realizing and leveraging the power of choice in directing your life’s course.
  • The importance of challenging self-imposed limits and being open to the world of possibilities around you.
  • The role of clear goal-setting and a positive mindset in steering through life’s changes.
  • Why self-reflection is an invaluable tool for leaders seeking clarity and direction.

Episode References/Links:

Transcript
Lesley Logan: I think no matter if you are a business person or not, having clear principles and values and using your gifts, and having an explorer’s mind, all three of those bullet points, we applied to everything. Because if you are not clear on your values, you will end up just kind of feeling a little lost and doing things that you’re like, oh, I regret doing like that, like, you’re not that everything is perfect when you use your values, but you at least have like a guidepost to go, what the hell am I supposed to do right now? Well, I don’t really know. But I know that I want to be transparent and I want to be honest, I wanna be communicative. Okay, well, then let’s just communicate what we don’t know. And what we’re going to do to try to figure it out, you know, so I think that that’s really helpful in relationships in life.

—-

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

—-

Lesley Logan 0:49
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host in life Brad and I went to dig into the fierce combo I had with Adrian Koehler in our last episode, if you haven’t yet listened to that one. You should pause this now. And listen to that one. Actually, don’t let me tell you what to do. You can tell you what to do, but I’m gonna tell you right now for this recap. You’re like, Wait, hold on. (inaudible)

Lesley Logan 1:08
Hug that fucking cactus.

Lesley Logan 1:09
What I’m gonna have to go listen to the real thing. I should. Because Adrian’s amazing. And Brad was on the interview as well. So, surprise. Anyways, before we get into Adrian’s amazingness, today is September 14 in real time, and that means it’s National Eat a Hoagie Day.

Brad Crowell 1:28
That’s right, y’all Philadelphians. Eat that Hoagie.

Lesley Logan 1:31
So this is when you can tell that Brad took over the show. Eat a Hoagie and if you’re gluten and dairy free, good luck. Good luck. You know how Okay, so sidenote, when I first time I had a Philly Cheesesteak. We went into one of the famous restaurants not the ones that fight but like, I don’t know, you can tell me which one we went to. We went to gyms went to gyms. And I told them I’m gluten and dairy free. And the guy looked at me. He still took the bread. He took one of those like the thin.

Lesley Logan 2:04
Well, it’s like it’s like, it’s like, it’s not wax. Wax. It was just like a paper, food truck paper. But yeah.

Lesley Logan 2:10
And he put that on the the top of the buttons, and then he still put my food, my whole sandwich everything that went inside, on that parchment paper, right. And then he put that on my sandwich, but I put all my stuff on there and then handed me the sandwich, including the bud I said I did not want ah, and also thought cheesesteak because I had no cheese. The guy doesn’t mean me like what are you doing? Anyways? Go eat hoagie y’all wherever you are. Okay. And this week, Brad and I really like dead in the middle of agency meeting number nine.

Brad Crowell 2:45
Holy cow.

Lesley Logan 2:46
It is a small business coaching program. It’s for it’s for any fitness instructor. And it really does help you get clarity. And then we also we love giving you clarity, and then an agency, we get you into implementation, which is where we rock. So at any rate, that’s happening, it’s too late to sign up, don’t ask.

Brad Crowell 3:04
It is too late, it is almost over, but you can actually still go to profitablepilates.com/mini to get on the waitlist for the next one. But you don’t also need to wait six months, you can just like I interrupted Lesley saying, you could just jump right into our coaching.

Lesley Logan 3:19
Yeah, it’s okay you can finish that sentence, that’s fine. Then, in a couple of weeks, we actually are leaving for Cambodia. Wait, I’m gonna be really honest, unless you like love to like live on the wild side probably get on the waitlist for that one instead of coming on this one because it’s pretty much full anyways. But we are so excited. And this summer actually bringing my sister in law, our product manager and her husband with us because we have such a full crew. It’s just going to be amazing. I can’t wait for them to see this space because they haven’t been there yet. So you go to Lesleylogan.co/retreat. And you know, if you are wanting to host your own retreat in Cambodia and use our space, you can do that too. So just reach out to us.

Brad Crowell 4:00
Yeah, that’s right. We have a 12 bedroom apartment building there. And all the relationships that we built since 2017. And it’s been this this will be our first year 2023 is our first year letting somebody else take over our space and run their retreat. Effectively, we handle all of the logistics and all the programming and all the food and all the, any of the cool variables. You just teach your thing and then bring your people.

Brad Crowell 4:28
You sell it, you teach it, you bring your people, we do all the stuff behind the scenes. It is annoying. And then we come back. We’re gonna see the dogs for like seven days. And then we are going to be I’m going to be going to Chicago finally, Erika Quest and I get to hang out in real life. That’s November fourth and fifth we got some workshops. You’re probably wondering, oh my God, how you sign up. You have got to wait. Make sure you’re following me on Instagram and you will find out or make sure you’re on our newsletter list. You will find out that way. But I don’t have a link for you because we have there’s a two week window for people at this specific studio to sign up first. And then we can let the public sign up. And then in December we go back on our road tour or winter tour. So, you know, I think I-70 is basically whatever, whatever long route 70 all the way to Philly, and then down through the 40. Am I remembering it correctly? You? What’s the one through Texas that we do is it the 10? 20?

Brad Crowell 5:30
It is usually the 20 and the 10.

Lesley Logan 5:32
The 20 and the 10. Okay, not the 40.

Lesley Logan 5:35
But we’ve hit the 40 before they’re not that far off.

Lesley Logan 5:37
Yeah. So anyways, we’ll be doing that. More details to follow, so don’t worry about it. Just keep listening to this amazing show. But first, Brad, before we talk about Adrian, do you do we have an audience question?

Brad Crowell 10:54
We totally do. I heard you have a mentorship program? Yes. Yes. And the question is, is it too late to apply, apply, apply, apply, apply? And what is the next one?

Lesley Logan 11:07
Okay, so at the time that this is dropping, I think we just closed applications. This is the number 14th, so

Brad Crowell 11:14
the 13th, we closed applications. That’s right.

Lesley Logan 11:16
So here’s the deal. Assuming it’s full, then yes, too late to apply. However, one of the girls in our current round round three, she literally heard all about it on the podcast, like a week before we started, and someone had happened to drop out and she took their spot. Yes. So what I would say is go to Lesleylogan.co/elevate, eLevate the name of the mentorship and get on the waitlist. And then reach out to us ASAP. If you’re like, oh my god, I do not want to wait till 2025. (Brad: Exactly.) We can’t make promises but worth worth, like raising your hand. The actual next rounds are in 2024. And they kick off in January, which why the applications are now if I can get everyone ready and get all the things going the dates ahead of them. So it’s really exciting. I only can run so many a year because I can only have so many people and it takes there it takes so much of our time. So anyways, I really hope that if this is you it’s meant to be for you, you raise your hand and we have a spot. And if not well then who knows? Who knows? Maybe we do with I don’t know you’ll never know, (Brad: Who knows?) but you should just reach out. So lesleylogan.co/elevate to get more information about that is for teachers who are all ready, have already done a comprehensive. It doesn’t matter if it’s classical or contemporary. None of that matters. Now if you’ve just finished or been teaching for 20 years, that you do have to have already done a comprehensive training.

Brad Crowell 12:50
Yeah, cool.

Lesley Logan 13:03
If you have questions, life, business, relationships, Pilates, dogs, and you would like to hear our take on that you can just send it in to the Be It pod. We are happy to answer your questions. Whatever those ones are.

Brad Crowell 15:08
Okay, now let’s talk about Adrian Koehler. Adrian Koehler is a leadership engagement expert and senior partner at the executive coaching firm, Take New Ground, he specializes in helping leaders recognize their potential bottlenecks and empowers them to take transformative actions in their professional journeys. And he’s my former executive coach, (Lesley: I know you guys worked together for a while and it was right for you like a year and a half.) More than that. I don’t even know. It was amazing. So super, super helpful for me. I have nothing but love

Brad Crowell 15:40
He will push you to step up. Yeah, in a good way. And he did that a lot for me. And, you know, I still think a lot about our conversations. And, you know, the things that I was struggling with, are still applicable today, some of them and others I’ve been able to move through, or maybe some situations that come back, and I reflect back often on our conversations, and one that makes us laugh is hugging a cactus. But you’ll have to go back and listen a little bit more about what that means in the previous episode.

Lesley Logan 16:26
Yeah. Can I talk about what I love to do it? Okay. So, because one of the reasons that you got you end up working with Adrian is because I am not a founder, who is like, I have to be the CEO. I thought I did. Let me get to his point. He actually said, he said, founders usually don’t want to be CEOs but think they should. And so they like get stuck. And they get trapped in their mind, and they do things, doesn’t work out. So well. Anyways, I thought I’d be the CEO, because I thought like, if you found, if you found it, then you’re the president or whatever. I don’t know. Because clearly, like there’s presidents of like Mattel, they didn’t found it. Like so. But in my mind, and everyone treated me like as a CEO, but then you stepped in Brad, and then you became the CEO. And then and then we got you, Adrian to like, because you had sea level like you were an ops manager and things like that big corporations, but like, we’re gonna see, oh, it takes a whole different leadership role. You have to think of things in a whole different way. So you don’t get things don’t get stuck. So I loved that.

Brad Crowell 17:22
I was the COO. (Lesley: Yes) Yeah. But I had never been responsible for the sales and marketing. In addition to the operations, I was only the one side. So I was doing like finance and ops. And this was my first time. There’s two really interesting transitions with that. And one was basically letting go of the thing that I know, I’m good at giving it to somebody else. (Lesley: Yeah) that was like, hard for me to do. Because when I get stressed, what do I go? Do I go do things I’m good at. So I go back to my safe zone, where I felt like I could kick ass and take names over there. But ultimately, that’s not actually helping the company. And it was really, you know, that was the transition that you’re making when you’re stepping into that role. (Lesley: Yeah) And, yeah, anyway, you know, Adrian has, like, worked with people who have teams of 10,000 people. (Lesley: Yeah) you know, and we had a team of like, 10, I think at the time.

Lesley Logan 18:13
Yeah. And then another thing that I loved, I just love the freedom of that. So any of you who are like, Oh, my God, like, once this company I’m building grows, like, I don’t know that I can be the CEO, you don’t have to be, or you can, you just have to get out of everyone’s way. And really like, and really think of yourself as a unique contribution. And not like, I’m the essential worker, because like, that’s where you get in people’s way, and you start doing their job. And they’re like, I don’t know why I’m here. And

Brad Crowell 18:44
Well, that’s, that’s exactly what I was doing too is, basically, when you are building a company, because you know, your strengths you you do those tasks, right? And so you end up being in a critical role in the company. And you don’t necessarily plot it that way. We’re like, everybody needs me. But ultimately, that’s what ends up happening. More often than not, for Founders, like smaller companies who are beginning to grow is the like, well, I built literally every aspect of this stuff. So everyone needs to come to me to help get their questions answered. And, you know, ultimately, know where what that leads to is the gears slowing down because there’s one, you’re one person, you can only do so many things, right? But it makes you feel needed. It makes you feel like you’re doing something right. And it’s a trap. Yeah. And so that essentially, you know, like, Founders have this habit of setting things up so that they are essential in the flow of things instead of it instead of empowering their team to eventually take over the process altogether. Right? And You know, that was that, you know, and that’s still something that that I have to deal with, too. But with, you know, Adrian, that’s where he, the challenging part of agent comes into play is that he can go, hey, man, third party perspective. I know you’re a web developer and you love building websites, but you’re spending 10 hours building a website instead of, you know, handling these fires over here that need to be put out, by the way, did you know that?

Lesley Logan 20:22
Well, and that leads me to my other point that I that I liked that he brought up, he said, whatever is going on in my life, I either created it, or I allow it and like we as human beings we are we can be resentment machines, and we complain about what’s not working. But whatever you’re complaining about, you either allowed it to happen, or you created it. And like, this is so true for everything, not even just work. Like for example, I was going to like totally complain this afternoon because I the the landscaper came, and I couldn’t see the landscaper come because he was he was two hours late. And so I was working on my teacher and I didn’t lock the door because I was like I was landscaper coming today I don’t even know like haven’t seen him on the whole block on anyone else’s house. So I started doing my session. And then we didn’t get the door locked. And the dogs got to go greet the landscapers today.

Brad Crowell 21:15
They are fending them off with the with the air blower.

Lesley Logan 21:18
Yeah, they were but yeah, they were just like running around like barking. And they’re fine. They’re not dangerous dogs like but they don’t like people in their backyard. And so at any rate, I heard I heard their barks because I got up and let him in. I will like partly I want to just like complain so much. Because like why the fuck didn’t Brad lock the door when he saw the landscapers come because his office is gonna window to see the thing. And I caught myself because I mind, I could have said to Brad, I’m going to not be able to lock the door because I got a session. Or I could have just fucking lock the door anyways. And so I basically like allowed that whole situation in because I we didn’t communicate.

Brad Crowell 21:57
And we didn’t yeah, we didn’t communicate. And it’s so funny because I saw them. But I was I was on a call. And I saw them. And for some reason it just didn’t register. So normally I see them and I just like casually lock the back door. And I didn’t do it today. I don’t know. And I thought what the hell, you know, but but

Lesley Logan 22:14
I just bring that up. Because I think sometimes we can think of like when a business coach comes on here, we can think about things being busy. And I thought that this point was so holistic, because whatever is going on, you either created it or you allowed it.

Brad Crowell 22:27
Yeah, I think Well, I think that’s the ultimately that’s what it comes down to is the idea that it’s not happening to me, right? It’s something that I brought into my world.

Lesley Logan 22:41
And don’t yell at me on YouTube because somebody died in your life. And you’re like, that doesn’t apply to you. We’re talking about like, the things in your, your life that you’re making decisions on. Last time we talked about, it’s happening for me, someone goes, my dog just died. That is not happening for me. Okay, see yourself in the story, some other examples?

Brad Crowell 23:00
But I do think that’s a part of the that’s actually the argument. And that’s where the challenge is. Right? Is that, you know, there’s a very much it’s easy to be a victim. (Lesley: Yeah) And it’s hard to embrace this idea that we had an influence in the things that are happening in our lives, you know, and we had some choice in that matter. And that might not be always like black and white, crystal clear. But especially in within a company or within, you know, whatever it is that’s happening in your family in school or in your job, you know, you know, if there’s conflict, or if there’s something that isn’t happening the way that the you want it to be happening. you still are participating in some way. Yeah. And there’s decisions that are made there.

Lesley Logan 23:51
You’re not upholding boundaries, or you’re not you let people break those boundaries, and you didn’t correct them when that happened. Like all these. It’s just incredible. So anyways, yeah, I love it. I love that example. I think that is a really great sentence to like pin somewhere on your wall. What did you love that he said?

Brad Crowell 24:07
Yeah, that’s deep, deep. Okay, Adrian said, a lot of possibilities are in the periphery. And I thought this was interesting, because I think that I think that the idea, again, like waiting for something to be stupidly obvious for us to go do the thing. It’s never going to be obvious, right? So we may be on a path but but being open to possibility that like this path that we’ve defined, oh, I want to like for me, here’s a perfect example of a path that I defined. I was going to be Adam Levine and I decided that that means I have to go to Music College and I’m gonna leave music college I’m going to be a band and my band is gonna be assigned in the I’m going to sell a million records, and I’m gonna tour the world for the rest of my life. And I’m going to be a 75-year-old rock star that everybody goes, they should probably quit, but they’re so fucking awesome. That’s the path that I had decided for myself, right? And that was my dream, right. But I had kind of created this box that I had put myself in. And I was, for years, I was unwilling to look anywhere except for like, only at that thing. And I think that when you are allowing yourself to be open, there were peripheral things happening all throughout that time, where I could have been, maybe I could have made some money, maybe I could have, I don’t know, some opportunity or some thing, if I had been looking kind of like on the sides and been open to this idea that maybe what I think my path is, maybe there’s other paths for me, right? And so the idea that the possibilities are in the periphery.

Lesley Logan 25:52
And I was one of those possibilities in the periphery, I’m just gonna say like, hello, amazing periphery.

Brad Crowell 25:59
Well, I’m so excited about that periphery. But let me let me finish my, my example here. While, I was doing my music, you’ve heard me talk about how my innate, you know, strengths, were the organization, the admin, the booking the sales, the, you know, effectively all those things, which, when it wasn’t until my dream came to a hard wall, where everything stopped, that I was, I was like, oh, shit, I can’t keep going forward. What am I going to do now? That was the only time I was finally willing to look around and be like, I need to do something else. What can I do? Right? And that kind of took me into the operation side of things. You know. And so, you know, I think when you have a vision like that, it can also be restrictive, you know, is ultimately the point. Yeah. I think he said that your vision can be an agenda, too. Actually use it that, you know, your vision can turn into an agenda. Yeah, you know, and I think that that was the same thing for me. And so I wasn’t like I didn’t, I didn’t celebrate things that were happening in my life outside of my dream, my vision, and it really put me in a weird.

Lesley Logan 27:14
That’s why we have FYF, guys, because everyone is treating their life like it’s a fucking agenda, and not really understand that you are experiencing some amazing things that could lead you to different places. If you if you just took a moment to go. oh, that was fun. Oh, that was weird, huh? Well, this is a wrong turn. You know, like, there’s adventures everywhere.

Brad Crowell 27:34
Yeah, I think I think something that is a little scary about those adventures is like what happens when life lifes and things shift and change? You know, I

Lesley Logan 27:43
Put on an amazing rap song. And keep going.

Brad Crowell 27:46
Yeah, I didn’t do that. I got angry. I got angry. Yeah, like angry. And for years, I was angry. And this was in my 20s. Right, where I was, like, just super, super frustrated that things weren’t going the way that I thought that they were supposed to go the way that I wanted them to go. I worked so fucking hard and things weren’t panning out. Right. And Adrian talked about how he deals with shifts and changes. And he gave us a quick little list here. He said, have clear principles and values. You know, use your gifts, have an explorer’s mindset. And then, you know, all, like all throughout this, he was specifically talking about being a leader. So he was talking about keeping him, you know, his interests and his team’s interests at heart throughout these shifts and changes and stuff. But, you know, I think it’s really interesting, you know, if, if, when you have clear principles, values, that’s kind of hard thing to what the hell does that even mean? Like, do you know your values, like, I think your values, you kind of depends on the situation that you’re in, you know, but when you have an opinion, and you are willing to stand by, you know, the decisions that you’ve made, that will help you in times of tumultuous, you know, unknown.

Lesley Logan 29:04
Well, also, like, I think no matter if you are a business person or not, having clear principles and values and using your gifts, and having an explorer’s mind, all three of those bullet points, we applied to everything. Because if you are not clear on your values, you will end up just kind of feeling a little lost and doing things that you’re like, oh, I regret doing like that, like, you’re not that everything is perfect when you use your values, but you at least have like a guidepost to go, what the hell am I supposed to do right now? Well, I don’t really know. But I know that I want to be transparent and I want to be honest, I wanna be communicative. Okay, well, then let’s just communicate what we don’t know. And what we’re going to do to try to figure it out, you know, so I think that that’s really helpful in relationships in life.

Brad Crowell 29:54
All right. Let’s talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Adrian Koehler? He actually, he talked about, he kind of started going down. But he started listening (inaudible), he’s really going to do all of them. And I was like, whoa, well, we kind of got sidetracked, so (Lesley: You only have to do the one.) Yeah, I just well, I think we got bold and executable, but, you know, be bold. And he said, actually, this is one of our core values of their company is bold, being bold. And he said, ask yourself, do I want to live with this? Whatever this might be? Or is there some kind of new future that I want to create? Right? He said, we’re so busy, and we have a lot going on. So we need to take the time to slow down and reflect on the resentments that we have been carrying. And I’ll tell you when I started coaching with him, like this was really interesting. He dug and dug and dug and dug, and then began to challenge me with things that I was effectively allowing to happen, you know, in my life, and my work life, and my relationships, and all those kinds of things I loved. I love when he was in your life. Yeah, no, me too. It was great. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 31:15
It felt like he would like help highlight the things that I was hoping you would feel. But I didn’t want to tell you, I didn’t want to be that wife. I thought maybe Adrian…

Lesley Logan 31:27
So he emphasized the importance of self-reflection, clarity, and addressing personal and professional goals and issues. And by doing so, he said that leaders can gain a clearer understanding of their current situation, and prompt, which all of that prompts critical questions of whether or not they want to continue to embrace those issues or figure out a way to create new, a new path, right? And, you know, like, whatever that might be, in whatever challenge that you’re going through right now. You know, is there a different way and you know, what can you do? How can you do it? You always have options, right? What about you? What about you?

Lesley Logan 32:10
Well, I really, my big takeaway is it’s a quote by Kierkegaard.

Brad Crowell 32:18
That’s him.

Lesley Logan 32:24
People find a level of despair that’s tolerable and call that happiness. Oh, why do we do that? It’s so annoying. And it’s really actually you know, you have people in your life that do do this on a really grand scale. Yeah, my grandfather big time one of those people. I’m a taller boy, I just think I’m the happiest, it was just like flatline But at any rate, I think it he said Adrian said like it makes the heart sick if you don’t have hope about how things can get better. And the truth is it’s like Kerry Ford mentioned like a mountain with no peak and I think for the over two years in the room it can get you have to find the balance of like making sure you find a summit to like celebrate on but we should always be finding something else that could just challenge us a little bit more take us to another level a new thing while celebrating and understanding because otherwise you just go well this shitty life I’m living in this pigsty, this is this is as good as it gets. I’m gonna call it happiness like remember when you watch the movie as good as it gets you’re like this is really depressing I was like yeah, funny you mentioned it, so like I just really enjoy that he brought that up as a as a bit action item because we we we can get stuck in our own place and go well this is good I guess this is good. I’ll just do this so he said the solution for a hard hard-drivin-driving type A is with a get shit down and perfectionist people is that you actually do uh no one can handle the me so he advised to stop being the icon and get out of your persona and be who you are. Get peers around you get a coach around you take the you can take messy action with and have people you can talk with because those people are going to help you celebrate those people are gonna like reflect and be a mirror about where you’re going to getting stuck in places and also like help you want a little bit more so you don’t like just go well, I’ll just live in this pigsty. Yesterday I had yesterday when we’re recording this I had a call with a girlfriend. She’s a peer she has a business I love she’ll be on the podcast soon and Jessica and I was just like I’m just having some low energy today. I was able to do some big vision thinking And I got was that was actually really fun. And she goes, Oh, what was your vision, and it was just so fun to have someone who we don’t do the same business, but to ask that and be that peer where I could like, share that with because it when you share that it helps solidify a little bit and the universe gets in there starts helping things out. So anyways, Don’t be the person who finds a level of despair, and that’s tolerable and go happiness, I’m happy to do it.

Lesley Logan 35:27
I don’t think that’s what like they’re doing it like that. I think it’s like, we, you know, the

Lesley Logan 35:32
subconscious?

Brad Crowell 35:33
No, it’s, that’s what I’m saying is like, you know, I, I think with my, my marriage before my past marriage, I thought to myself, Why did I ever get married? And that occurred like two years in. And, and then and then the next thought was, well, I, I divorce isn’t an option. So I guess this is what it’s going to be. And I guess I’ve signed up for this for the rest of my life. Right. And that was really depressing. But I was like, okay, I guess that’s what I gotta do now. Right? And that’s sucks. That’s, and it also was not fun. And it was actually really emotionally challenging.

Lesley Logan 36:17
I feel like had you had peers around you, that you could have trusted to share that information with? I do feel like, you might have come to the, like, an idea that you could have also been out of it sooner, but you were kind of alone in that relationship. And not really, it was.

Brad Crowell 36:35
I was also stressed, like, pretty set in my ways. I was very convinced that like, I should not ever get a divorce period. And it wasn’t until, you know, my ex was like this is you don’t have a choice here. This is happening. That things really well.

Lesley Logan 36:51
That’s why that going back to Adrian’s point, have someone close to you, or coach, aka therapists would have been good there. Like how, like having another person who are which you could share what was going on that wasn’t the person you’re married to?

Brad Crowell 37:05
Yeah, it was, well, I mean, I had a bunch of friends, but I would shut them down. When they what if that idea ever came to surface? I was like, Nah, don’t do that. I’m not going to do that. There’s a way for us to fix it. I was very determined, you know, but I think that it that’s exactly the problem is that when I was so convinced that my way was the correct way, was the way, right that I was unwilling to even listen to my friends who were trying to look out for me. And it wasn’t until, you know, everything exploded in my face that I was forced to do it. And then that really challenged me and made me go. Am I right, though, like was that the right way? You know, and but it took like a catastrophic event for that to happen. I hope that’s not you. I hope that doesn’t happen for you. It doesn’t need to be that way. But it requires self-inflection. And it’s really hard for people who, quote-unquote, know what they know.

Lesley Logan 38:01
Yeah, I know. It’s a struggle. We all know those people. And sometimes we are those people. So anyways, I just, go back and listen to Adrian’s episode a couple times. Maybe it’s when you say it’s definitely anyone you’re gonna share. Really enjoy this man. We definitely have to hang out with him again soon. Here. They go to Hawaii. So we should yeah.

Brad Crowell 38:22
All the things, the episodes coming out after all the programs he talked about, but those he does those programs a couple times a year. And yeah, I mean, if you’re 2024 days, yeah, looking for more. You know, we’ll put the links in the show notes. Yeah. I’m Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 38:38
And I’m Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 38:39
Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for being one of our amazing listeners, like this podcast keeps growing. I just checked the stats on this podcast. And you guys, our listener, scores higher, we’re still in the top 2% of all podcasts in the whole world. I just want you to know, I would like to in the year in the top 1.5%. So I need your help. I need you to share this podcast and you need to tell people listen to FYF, if you’re listening to recaps, or like maybe like the interviews more whatever of the episodes you love the most just tell them to listen to those. They’ll find their own path, but just know that you are part of this incredible success. We’re gonna hit 300 episodes. Quite soon. Yeah, Claire Solly, who’s been on the pod a few times. She was Brad’s attendant. She texted me other day she’s like, Oh my god, I just heard your podcast is on 256 Like, how in the world and that was 10 episodes ago. So like we’re even closer now. So anyways, I’m just ready to have a lot of fun. So thank you for being a listener. And make sure that until next time you be it till you see it.

Brad Crowell 39:37
Bye for now.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘Bloom Podcast Network’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
It is produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velasquez for our transcriptions.

Brad Crowell
Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Pod Social Media

More Episodes

Join

Stay Current on Podcasts

& Advice!

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The owner of this website has made a commitment to accessibility and inclusion, please report any problems that you encounter using the contact form on this website. This site uses the WP ADA Compliance Check plugin to enhance accessibility.