Breaking the Cycle

of Negative Talk &

Nourishing Your Soul

Ep. 168 with Lesley & Brad

“Give yourself permission to feel and do things to be less than perfect.”

Lesley Logan

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Show Notes

Coming off of a great conversation with Alan Stein Jr., Brad and Lesley, recap the ways that you can become the best on your personal court. Tune in for insights into finally breaking the cycles of shame, guilt, and fear that are holding you back and ways to instead nourish your soul.

If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected]. Or leave a comment below!

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

  • Excel at teaching Pilates the way only YOU can with Agency Mini 8
  • Perfect is unattainable
  • The driving force behind the pursuit of perfection
  • Grace through the mistakes
  • How to break the cycle of guilt, shame, and criticism, that can lead to depression
  • Create a clear vision of who you want to be

Episode References/Links:

Transcript

Lesley Logan
Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

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Lesley Logan
Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the slam dunk in convo I had with Alan Stein Jr. in our last episode. I cannot believe he made me say that out loud. Someone wrote that clearly has never played basketball. (Brad: Slam dunk in.) Slam dunk in and is also from the East Coast. Anyways, if you haven’t yet listen to this interview, feel free to pause us now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Just so you know, Brad, listen to it. How many times? 2 3 (Brad: 3) 3 times. (Brad: Yeah) So fucking great. Love it. Love it. Love Alan and hope that we can cross paths again. If you’re listening to this Alan. Hi. Basically, we’re pretty obsessed. Anyways, real quick announcements. We got a lot of them because Happy 2023! Holy moly.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, I can’t believe it.

Lesley Logan
This is a big deal year, y’all. (Brad: It’s a big deal year.) First of all, we just got back from our tour 6500 miles, it was a trip. We also are tested out a new way of doing the van. Brad and my dad like built out a bed four feet off the ground. So I feel like I’m 11 with bunk beds. But no one is below to like pushin the mattress up.

Brad Crowell
You can see what we’re talking about on the OPC blog. So if you go to onlinepilatesclasses.com/blog. We we have pictures up.

Lesley Logan
Oh, that’s so fun. Thanks for doing that so people can follow along. (Brad: Yeah) We also officially kick off around two of my eLevates which is my mentorship group and for Pilates teachers. And it’s so fun. (Brad: It’s called eLevate.) eLevate. (Brad: This making sure that was clear.) And it’s a capital L not that that matters when you Google. Anyways, I just like it. Like I just like the way it looks. Round one was so much fun. We had so many amazing women from all over the world, literally all over the world join us that we decided to do a round two. It sold out so fast and we had so many amazing applicants that I opened up round three. So hey loves, if you’re like, “Wait, you have a mentorship?” Yes, I do. And we kick off this third one in May. (Brad: What is a mentorship?) That’s great question. So a mentorship is a little different than a Mastermind, although, you know, I’m big on community. So if you’re in my mentorship, you’re still going to have community that you get to learn from and work off of. But a mentorship is basically a group of people who pick someone that they want to learn from because that person teaches or understands or does them in a way that they are like, “I want that.” And so if you watch my tutorials, and you take my classes and you just really enjoy the way I teach, you will still sound like you because that is priority number one.

Brad Crowell
So specifically we’re talking about Pilates.

Lesley Logan
Well, you can have a mentorship in anything.

Brad Crowell
No, but this is a Pilates mentorship. (Lesley: Yes.) Meaning you’re gonna learn basically, classical Pilates from Lesley, as taught to her by her teacher, Jay Grimes….

Lesley Logan
And other teachers that I studied from yeah.

Brad Crowell
Yeah. And Jay was a student of Joseph Pilates.

Lesley Logan
Yes. And you have to already have been a teacher (Brad: Yes) to do it.

Brad Crowell
So anyway, there’s, there may still be a few spots left for round three, which we’ll be getting started in May.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, the time of recording this. There’s three left. So at the time this comes out if there’s still three left. I hope it’s you.

Brad Crowell
Yeah. Go to lesleylogan.co/elevate for more information on that.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. And then this is my birthday month.

Brad Crowell
Yeah. Happy birthday.

Lesley Logan
Start wishing me happy birthday. Just so you know, if you wish me an early you don’t have to also wish me on the day. I get like that people don’t like the whole birthday month thing. But like it’s just so that you don’t have to like you go, “Oh, I missed it.” You haven’t missed it. Because you have a whole month to tell me. And there’s gonna be some amazing, yummy stuff that we are cooking up for you. And we’ll let you know. So make sure you’re listening to the ads on this show or paying attention to what we emailed out because I’m I don’t know what that birthday bash is going to be at. (Brad: Yeah. We’re still working it out.) Still working it out. And lastly, on the …

Brad Crowell
One thing we’re not working out which is totally in stone and happening.

Lesley Logan
Oh yeah. And let me just say dialed and this is our eighth round of Agency Mini which is our coaching group, which is different than elevate because this is that everything but the exercise which what is what Profitable Pilates has always been.

Brad Crowell
It’s all about the business side of (Lesley: Yeah) running a fitness business.

Lesley Logan
And if you’re listening to this in real time, if you’re not already on the waitlist, get on it because we’re going to open up the doors probably any day now for people to join in the group early. We started this last summer with Agency Mini seven where we actually let those people who were like early like overachievers and got signed up right away. We let them in the group early so they can actually do some homework to get prepared for the week of a mini. (Brad: Prep work. Yeah, yeah.) Yeah, Agency Mini is all about clarity, y’all. You’re going to literally have clarity on your business who you work with, how you help them, how they find you, what you offer all those … (Brad: What you should charge?) what you should charge, you know, what’s your schedule, all those things. And of course, any question in between and beyond is appropriate to ask us. But our workshop is designed and the homework designed to really help you have clarity, because if you don’t have clarity, you’re just gonna get overwhelmed. And so this is our eighth one. And we say this all the time, if you’ve been listening for a while, but we don’t know exactly the dates of Agency Mini number nine, but I can tell you, it’s in the fall, which means almost next year, and if you if you wait nine plus months, for coaching on your business, you’re probably keeping yourself from sanity making the money you want to make working with the people, you want to have having boundaries that just make you feel like a rockstar, all those things.

Brad Crowell
Yeah. And if, if you’re like anybody else, and you’ve heard that dreaded R word, the recession, you know, we are working with all of our everyone who’s in Agency, we’re working through all of that stuff together. So if that’s something that is causing fear in your life, you’re not alone, there’s a community of people who are still also worried about clients and retention, and getting new clients and growing and all those same things. And that’s definitely a common topic of conversation. So

Lesley Logan
And also, y’all because at the time of this, like, it’s really unclear if we’re having one, if we’re in one, (Brad: Yeah) if there’s going to be one, it’s also going to be very different than the one that was in 2008, which is, I think, what everyone fears, (Brad: Right) because it’s a very different reason for being in one. So what I have to say about that just really quickly is your fear is going to make you do some really fucked up shit in your business. And you might end up discounting things before you need to, or saying yes to working on your days off and you’re gonna burn out and you’re going you might end up making decision …

Brad Crowell
… resentment and creates more fear.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Or also you could offer services at a price that literally cost you money. And (Brad: Right) so then for it, you actually start to lose your business. So what’s really important and what we pride ourselves in an agency is every time something like this comes up in any part of the world, or like when the world went pandemic, we all get to work with each other and you can see a possibility is there are studios in there that are so thriving. It is unbelievable. They’re like what our work and there’s other studios that are struggling and it’s because we have to change their messaging so that they’re reaching the right people you can no longer can you just go Pilates six o’clock Tuesday, that doesn’t work. People need to know why why you, why are you there to help them and that’s going to work on Agency Mini. So definitely join us by the way, the cost of Agency Mini the full price I can’t remember it’s, it’s like $75. Right? (Brad: $62.50) $62.50 holy frickin molly …

Brad Crowell
For one week of coaching and we will effectively answer any question that you have.

Lesley Logan
And if we have early bird going on right now, when you click the link in the show notes, then lucky you

Brad Crowell
It’s only 25 bucks if that’s the case. (Lesley: Yeah. So there you go. Okay.) Yeah, so you can find that at profitablepilates.com/mini. (Lesley: Yeah) Profitable. I know I like flub that word profitablepilates.com/mini.

Lesley Logan
It’s just a really like, I’m gonna be really honest, all of the everything except for my own name. And then people get that wrong. All of our titles. I’m like … I feel (Brad: Yeah, that’s a novels.) like Sally Sally sold sold seashells at the seashore. Like, I feel like I need to do that before I say any of our web addresses. Anyways, profitablepilates.com/mini. Get yourself over there. We cannot wait to work with you. (Brad: Yeah, do it.) Okay. Before we go into Alan, which I can’t wait. I think we’re gonna probably go long. We had an audience question.

Brad Crowell
We did. The question and this is a great question. I’m glad you DMed. And I’ve been following your posts. And I feel that I’m at a point where I need to do a coaching call with you. My business is really complicated. But I feel like it’s not growing the way that I want. How do I book a call and what is the cost?

Lesley Logan
I love this question. It came through on my Profitable Pilates, Instagram. And I just want to like couple things. When I read this, I was like, I kind of can feel like I read between the lines. When I hear complicated business. It tells me like you have a lot of great ideas and you’re trying to have too, you have too many fires going on. Or maybe you’ve got like some like membership over here, but packages over here like you’ve …

Brad Crowell
Right. We like complicated offerings.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. And I’m not saying that those were the wrong things to create. But we often do that when we’re trying to put an idea together and then we try to mold it to people without having some guidance. (Brad: Sure) And hi, did that. (Brad: Yeah, been there.) been there and and that is why we got coaching and also like some things we had to get rid of and some things we had to tweak. And some things we have changes in streamline things. And so first of all, there isn’t a complicated business, we have not been able to uncomplicate if you can take the right actions and second of all, yes, I do do coaching calls, so does Brad and we actually have four amazing other coaches inside of Agency. But that’s a specific word. It’s all inside of Agency. We don’t have any outside coaching calls and here’s why. There’s so much information that goes into a coaching call because we don’t have any like formulas or tools. We’re like, “Okay, this is your problem. Here’s your solution.” Here’s like, we don’t have an if this then that. (Brad: It’s not templates.) Yeah, that’s a good word for it. So what we have to actually do is know you, I know your goals, and we want to make sure we have your magic number figured out. We want to look at all these things, we tweak it apart. And then also, you’re gonna have questions afterwards. And I know, I know people we’re like, “No, no one called me enough.” Is not enough, is not enough. And you’re gonna go home, I know what you want to why? Because I have a coaching call with my coach. And then a week later, I’m like, “Oh, what did she mean by that? I need to call her up.” And guess what? I have to do it within her boundaries, which is in her mastermind that’s a year long program. It’s the same thing we haven’t said of Agency, we need you to be in the group so that we can actually guide you along because you’re gonna have questions and we don’t want you off on your own. Going, “Okay, this is what they said. And now I don’t know what this means. And I’m just gonna have to do it or worse have wasted that money and I just do things the way I been doing it.”

Brad Crowell
Yeah, so yes, we absolutely offer coaching calls. You can only book them if you’re inside of Agency. So the best way to do that is to go to profitablepilates.com/agency or if you want to have a teaser of what Agency is. Join us in Mini like we were just talking about so profitablepilates.com/mini.

Lesley Logan
It’s a great way to see if you like our vibes. Right. (Brad: Yeah) And like hear how we coach. So cool.

Brad Crowell
Okay, now let’s talk about Alan Stein, Jr. His first love in life was basketball. And before he became an author and keynote speaker, Alan Stein, Jr. shared his lessons, strategies and mindsets with some of the world’s best basketball players as a performance training coach. He even had, like, you know, deals with Nike and you know, Adidas and whatever these massive companies … (Lesley: His resume is ridiculous.) It’s kind of insane. He’s worked with like crazy athletes in basketball for 20 years being performance coaches for them. But Alan now leads and he coaches, leaders and organizations on how to use those same tactics that he was helping the the players in the court, he helps leaders and organizations to become the best at what they do, and level up on their personal court, or their business core.

Lesley Logan
I love that. That’s super cute. It’s not he’s got basketball to use sports for leadership and I love to use like dating for for businesses. So I feel like, you know, all works together. Anyways, okay, where do I start?

Brad Crowell
Okay. I think this is something that you say all the time. And it’s basically it’s has something to do with boring.

Lesley Logan
Oh, yes. Perfect is so boring. (Brad: Yeah) And I loved he talked about, like, the justification for why like he actually justified why perfect is unattainable and boring. So he has a measuring stick, Am I doing the best I can with what I have, wherever I am? What a great question to ask yourself. So we have somebody who are like …

Brad Crowell
Well, before he got to, he forgets that point, though. That’s his, that’s how he lives his life today. He talked about his fear of unworthiness, driving that pursuit of perfection, so he didn’t feel worthy. And so he thought, “Alright, well, if I don’t feel worthy. I need to feel worthy. So I’m going to be the absolute best at my thing, at my craft, at my game, at my all of the things.” And so it drove him down this path, pursuit of perfection. Right. And it’s an unattainable goal.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Thanks for taking us back on the journey. I’ll make sure I don’t forget what I was ever I was saying. I probably did. But it’s okay because I’m not perfect. And thank God for that. So life isn’t a perfect game. In that episode, we actually talked about like that there’s never been a perfect game ever. (Brad: Right.) There’s never been a perfect game …

Brad Crowell
Yeah. So it was like no fouls, no, like, no …

Lesley Logan
No missed baskets. No, no, whatever.

Brad Crowell
Those three stats and he said, “Never in the history of basketball has been a perfect game.”

Lesley Logan
Yeah, I mean, you know before like, at the time of recording this you all the World Cup was going on. There has not been a single game with all those incredible players we can all say are the best of the best where they live and where they’re from. That has been perfect. And I know because I my little news app would show like this awful thing of some amazing player making a mistake. Of course that’s what they show. And I think that’s our fears like everyone is going to see the mistake you made just so you know, very few people are going to know the mistake that you made and you are not that mistake that you made and so life isn’t a perfect game. And he his his new measuring stick, which was I talked about earlier is that, “Am I doing the best I can with what I have wherever I am?” And I think this is what’s cool because I don’t want us to take away is that you don’t have to strive to be better or or like you, can you like that at any strive of trying to be a better version of you, is pursuit of pursuit of perfection? That’s not it because we all can get stronger or learn more or do better as we know better. But I love this question where it’s like, “Am I doing the best I can with what I have wherever I am?” Because if that ever is a no, that’s when you know, “Okay, now it’s time for me to level up or learn more or do this thing.” But if the answer is yes, like it’s fucking chill out. Take a beat. So a couple of bullet points, except that I have flaws.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, he’s talking about his you know, the reality of it.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. You’re like, he’s like, he’s fallible. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to make boneheaded decisions. We all do. Because also, you know, we’re all going back to Chris’s podcast, like, we all fear you never, like you’re never going to be fear, like, without fear ever, we add a new level, and you just get better at identifying it faster. But you are going to make decisions based off of that and go, “That was dumb.” Right? There’ll be days where I’m going to, or I’m in a funk or feeling lousy. Give yourself permission to feel and do things to be less than perfect. And that is really hard. So for those who are like, “How do I practice that though?” Like, here’s some apical ways. Don’t overthink your frickin social media posts. Like just like, right, there is a great, great place to practice being imperfect. Like don’t worry if that no one cares with commas, they’re they’re not reading all the words anyways. If they go, “You to put a period here.” And go, “Oh, thanks so much for editing that.” Like seriously, like, I it was really hard, like, part of my ditching perfection was like when someone was, was editing my posts for me and the captions. And I was just like, okay, and I went back and edit as like, thanks so much. Another thing you can do is like, if you’re practicing Pilates, and I know some of you are teachers, or those of you who have like, started doing Pilates with us, just allowing your practice to be what it is. So it’s not that you’re like, like just flinging your arms around. But you’re noticing, “Oh, wow, that isn’t feeling the way it did yesterday.” Okay, you know, and not going, “Oh, I didn’t get that right. I’m never hitting the mat again.” So and then he also said, instead, focus on giving your best effort, and having the best attitude to be kind and of service, do the best you can with what you have, wherever you are. And that just goes back to his measuring stick. Am I doing the best I can with what I have wherever I am? Sometimes, like, oftentimes the answer is yes. You guys. Like oftentimes the answer is yes.

Brad Crowell
Yeah, one thing that you were talking about with the World Cup, and you know, these players being on the world stage, and also not being perfect. I’m sure you heard about the, the captain of the US team was put in a very, very difficult position by an antagonistic journalist. And he asked him like, you know, he accused him first of pronouncing Iran incorrectly. And then he asked him, “How could he represent the United States when there’s so much racism that happens in the United States?” And it was like this really, like, touchy moment. And the this guy 23 years old. His response was, “I’m terribly sorry, that that I pronounced your country’s name incorrectly. And I’m grateful for you for correcting me on how to say it.” Right. And secondly, he said, “You know, in the United States we’re pursuing, you know, we’re in pursuit of being better and in pursuit of being of being less racist. And that’s how I can justify representing my country, because we are pursuing something better.” And I thought at first, I thought that was an unbelievably like, (Lesley: Oh, my God.) well, like, well …

Lesley Logan
I didn’t even breath, was waiting to hear what he said.

Brad Crowell
Oh, man, it was like it could have been clearly so bad. But it was an amazing, amazing response. And but one, what I felt was incredible was the first off the humility that he showed by saying, I’m he straight up, apologize. There wasn’t even a hesitation you said, “I’m sorry. I, I definitely said it wrong. And thank you for teaching me.” (Lesley: Yeah) You know, and and, you know, when you’re pursuing perfection, like you actually, this is another point that we that I hadn’t even included, including our lineup here. But Alan actually said, you asked him a really great question, “Over your career of training these people. Did you notice any recurring theme among like these epic athletes?” And he said, “Oh, yeah, there are three trends from high performers.” One is they respected the foundation, the basics, they keep going back to the basics. Second is that they blend confidence with humility in a masterful way. And the third is he said they were very process focused, right. And so that second point of being him, having humility, being humble, you know, was well, I was put this guy knows he’s not perfect. And he was humble about it when, you know, like, put in a really tough position on the world stage. So …

Lesley Logan
Yeah, I mean, and here’s like, you know, I think we, I mean, we can’t I’m, those questions are just so harsh. A little like, out of to me like very antagonistic is the best word. I think we have to I try to assume that like most people who are making mistakes without being perfect are like there were not intentional mistakes, you know, like, the him saying the country’s name incorrectly I have heard in our country that kind of that name said in so many ways. (Brad: Yeah) I you know what I mean? So like, I feel like, I feel like one what we can learn from that is like, an instant apology, and it should be enough. And like, it is, it is okay to be in process. Like we make mistakes all the time. Most are unintentional. And I think if we can all go that was like, let’s give that person that grace to correct that. And also, and then those people who have made the mistake giving yourself the grace to go, “Okay, what happened here? Okay, I didn’t know that. Now, I do. Now, I won’t make that mistake again.” And just moving forward, like Jen van Barneveld-Pe said in her episode with us correct and continue, correct and continue. (Brad: Right) Like, you can’t go back and like re say how you did that. So you just have to take make that correction and continue. And that’s it goes back to that like process of those athletes we’re doing?

Brad Crowell
Yeah, totally and absolutely. And you also mentioned something that leads right into my point (Lesley: Great) which I loved …

Lesley Logan
… loved when, I’m a good transition.

Brad Crowell
You mentioned grace. You know, you the two of you really got into a couple of different things. Like what do you do when you make a bad decision? Right. And you were just kind of talking about getting back to process? But also how making a bad decision? What’s the first thing we do is we beat ourselves up? (Lesley: Yeah) You know, and, you know, so when, when Alan was talking about his own pursuit of perfection, and how is an unattainable goal? And, you know, what did he do? How did he come to the realization that, you know, he’s not gonna be perfect is because he was making these mistakes. And he said, ultimately, he realized, I have to give myself grace when I make a mistake like that. I have to give myself space. I have to be kind to myself. And he said, the worst thing we can do is pile on the shame, the guilt, the criticism, in our own self talk. (Lesley: Yeah) Because it keeps us in a loop of fear, of anger, you know, (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) depression and like, leads to depression. You know, so he said, you know, how do you do this? You know, he said, “Well, what if it wasn’t you that made the mistake? What if it was someone that you loved?” You know, more likely than not, you’re going to say to them, “Hey, you know, you made a mistake, you know, and that’s, you know, maybe it’s, maybe what you did needs to be corrected, but it was a mistake.” And we can move through this, you know, and he said, you know, “Speak to yourself with the same kindness, compassion, empathy, that you would show for a loved one.” And then you two had a fascinating conversation about the things that you say to yourself, you probably would never say to someone else.

Lesley Logan
Oh, yeah. You know, it’s so interesting. I know, everyone’s hearing this going, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” And then like, and then it happens, and like, something recently happened was an unintentional mistake that that we made. And I found myself fighting to, like, apply all of this. And like, in real time, like, don’t pile on the shame. But I felt shame. Don’t pile on the guilt. I felt guilt. (Brad: Sure) I felt guilt in a weird way because I was like … I didn’t intend to make that mistake. But like, because I am a recovering perfectionist, I found myself finding things to feel guilty over. You know, because I was just like, you know, and then the criticism and I found myself fighting back and forth, not to be angry at the mistake itself and not to be angry at the people but like to my attention and not be angry at myself. It is not easy. And so even in your pursuit to be kind and gracious to yourself, you won’t be perfect. (Brad: Sure) And I don’t necessarily want to go through that again. But I do hope that the next time I make an unintentional mistake, or even just a mistake, that had unintentional consequences that I can shorten up how hard I am, or, and try to get back to the grace because it is it like what it did do was like 1,000% took me out of what was in purpose. It took me into a place where like I really was struggling to even make any decisions. And that actually hurts everybody. (Brad: Yeah) That hurts everybody even more than the the mistake. And and oftentimes the mistake is not even as big as it is. But even if it is, even if it feels like it’s on this world stage of sorts, you know, I don’t believe that we are, we are the one mistake we’ve made like we are more than that. And I do love, like, how would you talk to a family member? It’s like, okay, if it says this happened to somebody else in my family, I’d probably say these things. And that did help calm me down and at least get me to like finish work for that day.

Brad Crowell
Yeah. And I liked what you said about, well, so your thoughts become habits. Right. And I know we talked about this in another episode, that we can choose our thoughts, and we can break that cycle of negative self talk. And each time you do that, you’re creating a new path for your brain to go down. And while you are still going to feel the the shame, feel the guilt, feel the frustration. Instead of it being something that can, you know, derail everything, maybe it’s a smaller experience that time. And then, okay, let’s get on this new brain, you know, this groove that we’ve carved in our brain of, okay, have the conversation with yourself of, you know, being creating, that grace, that space, that kindness. And, you know, as we go through life, because it’s a lifelong pursuit, you know, maybe we can shift more quickly as we grow.

Lesley Logan
Yeah. Which I think is great. So I just this conversation was amazing.

Brad Crowell
Yeah. I was so impressed by he’s, so he’s clearly a thinker. And he’s like the epitome of of like, the coach that you see in a movie, you know what I mean? And like, like, the things he was saying …

Lesley Logan
You hear that Alan, you need to be in a movie. (Brad: Yeah.) They should make a movie about you. (Brad: Yeah.)

Brad Crowell
You know, the things he was saying are, he’s put so much thought and so much study into working with performance. And it comes across and he was going through, I mean, everything you two were talking about, could have been the theme of this recap episode. Just so much amazing quality perspectives in there. That’s why I listened to it three times.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, I don’t know. We’ll have to find a reason. We’ll have to happen back again. Because there’s more to talk about. He has two books. (Brad: Love it.) So go listen to him and Agency we actually picked his book for our January book club. (Brad: Oh, fun.) So yeah, I’m very excited for them, too. I know a lot of them listen to an audio. So I’m excited for them to hear his voice.

Brad Crowell
Amazing. All right. So finally, let’s talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Alan Stein, Jr.? I’m gonna go first. So I thought this was really profound. I thought this was really slam dunk in.

Lesley Logan
It’s a slam dunk, it’s just a slam dunk.

Brad Crowell
He said, have a crystal clear vision of who you want to be 20 years from now. And he rattled off a list of like, three different major bullet points of who he wants to be, how he wants to operate. Like the things he wants to see in his life, the family, the friends he wants to see in his life, the things he’s trying to do for others. I thought it was really impressive. He like knows that by heart, it was a crystal clear vision. And he said in as if you know who you want to be 20 years from now. Every single decision you make today should be done should be made through the lens of is this going to help me become closer to that person I want to be 20 years from now? Or is it going to take me further away? And he boiled that down all the way to, what am I watching on Netflix tonight? What food am I eating? What am I going to bed? What is my morning routine like? I mean all these things every single decision that you make, should drive yourself towards being that person and he said you know what the byproduct is? You become that person today.

Lesley Logan
Well, you know that’s all be it till you see it and I you brought up Netflix and I’m so I’m not ready to give up my habits … There’s some other places I could probably make it happen. I just wanted to middle some series and I just have to get the questions answered.

Brad Crowell
Well, aside from that. (Lesley: I know but …) What about you?

Lesley Logan
I actually have I wanted to do this because it’s in this month because I’m like, it’s so easy to picture 60. (Brad: Sure) Because it’s my 40th birthday month. And, and I’m like, “Oh, 60 like Oprah.” Like, you know, I’m just, I think she’s probably past 60 at this point, but I remember when she turned 60 and like, “Oh, I can picture that.” And like, it doesn’t have to be scary, doesn’t be like, “Oh, I’m going to be 60 in 20 years.” Like, what? What, at 60 fucking hope I’m retired, and what am I doing, and I can’t wait. So that’s the fun, thanks for that BE IT action. And my favorite, of course, has to do with free routines, self audit of you, your morning and evening routines. So this is great. This is for my people who like, like, they’re like tell me how to journal, tell me what to do. So you grab a piece of paper, I mean, just remind you what it is, on the left side of the paper, I want you to come up with an exhaustive list of all the things that fill your bucket and nourish your soul. And you guys, it might take you a day, like you might have to like put this list and like set it down and like walk off and then all of a sudden you like, someone opens the door for you at the coffee shop and you’re sitting there and friendly slash like, oh, fresh flowers nourish … like, you know what I mean? Like it might be, if you’ve not done this and you’re not paying attention to it, it might take you a little bit longer than just like a brain dump. Okay. And give yourself permission to have that time. Then on the right side of the page, I want you to write down, oh, he wants you to interrupt me. He wants you to write down how you’ve been spending the bookends of your day. So your morning, evening routine. Then he wants you to compare the two sets of notes. And ask yourself a very important question. Are you doing things in your morning and evening routine that will fill your bucket and make you feel most alive? So if what is on the left is not hanging out in your morning and evening on the right, you got some things to do.

Brad Crowell
So let’s say on the left side, if something that fills your cup is spending quality time with your significant other or maybe connecting, reconnecting with your family. And in your morning and evening routines. You’re not setting aside the time to do that quality time. Maybe that’s an adjustment that you should be making.

Lesley Logan
Yeah, yeah. And, and you guys, it’s not all or nothing, right? So like, like five minutes at a time is where we can make increments and I know you’re like that’s nothing but five times seven is 35 quality minutes you didn’t have last week with that person. (Brad: Sure) And you may find because of the way the brain works, that you’re enjoying it so much you end up finding eight minutes, and then 10 minutes and then 30 minutes. All of a sudden you’re like what or something cancelling you’re like we can have a whole evening a quality time together like your brain will start be seeking out more of what makes you feel good. Like that’s how it works. (Brad: Yeah) But you’ve got to be spending time in the field good so your brain can start to seek that out. So anyways, Alan, you’re fucking amazing. Y’all, I’m Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell
I’m Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan
Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Seriously, let us know. Tag @alansteinjr, tag the @be_it_pod. We are so grateful for you. I can’t believe we’re going into another year with you. (Brad: Yeah) This is like technically year two but like year three, I’m not really sure what the calendar. At any rate, it’s been awesome. And we are we are we’re so we’re so grateful to have you. So we’ll catch you on the next episode.

Brad Crowell
Bye for now.

Lesley Logan
That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan
‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘Bloom Podcast Network’.

Brad Crowell
It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan
Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell
Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan
Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.

Brad Crowell
And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

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